Showing posts with label Christmas Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas Day. Show all posts

Wednesday 23 December 2020

The Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa – Christmas Day Matinée

 

The beautiful Downshire village of Clerembeax St Giles was situated to the west of Abbeyvale located between Grace Hill and Bushy Down and on the outskirts was the Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa and when Yvonne Labuschagne inherited it from her cousin, the last remaining Clerembeax, she undertook the task of modernizing the Palace and opening a Hotel and Spa, offering fitness classes, gym, rock sauna, infra-red sauna, aroma steam room, ice fountain, drench showers, Jacuzzi, a Romanesque pool, Reflexology, Raki, facials, scalp massage, hand massage, Manicure and Pedicure, while also providing accommodation, meeting and function rooms, a superior restaurant and whatever temptation might attract potential visitors.

She was by profession a masseuse and had worked for many years along with her late husband at the Dancingdean Spa Hotel in Childean.

Staffing the Hotel and Spa was crucial, and Yvonne used her contacts in the Spa world to find the right specialist people in her field of expertise’s and employed Hannah Morgan to fill the remainder of the roles, on the understanding that she employ from the village populous where possible, and that was how the Ward girls came to work at the Palace.

 

The Ward family had a small holding on the North side of the village, parents Jack and Olive, and daughters Donna, Felicity, Josephine, and Maxine.

It was a profitable concern and gave them all a modest living but when the Palace opened it gave them a chance to supplement their incomes without having to travel to Abbeyvale.

They were all hard-working girls and didn’t care what work they did so Hannah Morgan didn’t hesitate to offer them all housekeeping jobs.

 

Felicity was the second oldest at twenty-three and the tallest at 5ft 8, but she was also the least confident, and was oblivious to how attractive she was, with her willowy figure and long brown hair.

Unlike her siblings she was painfully shy, and was a quiet studious girl, who never went out, preferring to immerse herself in books, in fact she only ever left the farm for work and church, and she hadn’t left the village since she left school, but the one thing that she shared with her sisters was her work ethic.

Life changed for her however at the beginning of November when Stephen Shepherd arrived as Hospitality manager.

He was in his mid-twenties, tall, with a military bearing, blonde hair, blue eyes and a smile that melted Felicity’s heart the first time she saw him.

In fact, she liked him so much that she volunteered to help him with the linens.

 

It soon became clear to everyone that there was more to their relationship than Hospitality Manager and Housekeeping girl, but it didn’t become evident to the two of them until the Second Sunday of Advent.

 

The Ward Family had always been churchgoers and not out of a sense of duty, the whole family had very strong faiths, and they only missed in exceptional circumstances, and the same was true of Olive Ward’s family Sunday Lunch.

But after Stephen offered to take Felicity Christmas shopping in Abbottsford that afternoon, Olive excused her, and they had a great shopping expedition which culminated in a tender kiss.

 

There were many more dates and many more kisses between then and Christmas Day, but he had to work that day as the Hotel restaurant was fully booked for Christmas lunches, so they didn’t get together until 4 o’clock at his cottage. 

Which was when they sat down with a large sherry and opened their presents.

Felicity had never done Christmas presents with a boyfriend before and she was very excited indeed, almost as excited as she was with the shopping trip when he kissed her in the Phoenix Shopping Centre.  

She was quickly on her hands and knees under the tree as Stephen looked on

“Open this one first” she said excitedly and handed up a little gift bag to him. 

“Ok” he said laughing and he took the package and inside the gift bag was a little bundle wrapped in tissue paper, and inside that was a little square gold embossed jewellers box, and when he opened the hinged box he found a pair of platinum cufflinks bearing a crown motif, and his initials, the crown being symbolic of his name.

“They’re beautiful” he said and then he joined Felicity on the floor and kissed her.

“Your turn” he said and reached under the tree and brought out a small parcel.

“I’ve never had a Christmas present from a boyfriend before” she said

“Well you have one now, open it” he urged “Open it”

“I want to enjoy every second of it” Felicity said

When she had carefully removed the paper, she put it on the floor and opened the gift box and inside she found a gold charm bracelet, bearing five charms, a shamrock and a horseshoe (denoting luck), a heart inscribed with her name (for love), a Christmas tree (to mark the season), and a crucifix.

“Wow” she exclaimed “it’s beautiful”

“You can add to it as a record of our life together” Stephen added

“What forever?” she asked

“For ever” he confirmed before adding “I love you”

“And I love you too” she responded, and they embraced, and the nature of that embrace led to them opening the rest of the presents much later on Christmas Day.

Snippets of Downshire Life – Christmas Morning

 

The medieval Village of Withery, was located between Purplemere and Finchbottom, which was where at one time the Monks of St Vitus Abbey were the first to grow grapes in the county.

The Abbey was long ago reduced to rubble and provided much of the fabric of the Village cottages surviving from 15th and 16th centuries, and one of them was occupied by a 45-year-old woman, Annette Slocombe, who was Deputy Warden, at Withery Grange Nursing Home, which was the 21st century incarnation of the old Manor House.

 

In the six months since her husband’s death, Annette had changed beyond all recognition, she had moved to the village, partly to fulfil a lifelong dream to live in the country, and partly to escape the marital home that she viewed as a prison.

She also did all the things her husband heartily disapproved of, so she was now the proud owner of a dog called Scamp, and a new car which she named Seve, because it was a Golf, and she also watched trash on television, and she was free to practice her faith without fear of ridicule.

However, at the age of 45, the one thing she had dared not dream of was falling in love, and that was something else Malcolm would have disapproved of, but fall in love she did, with

George Rushworth, and they made their declaration during the Midnight Mass.

“I love you George Rushworth” she said

“I love you too” he replied “and I really want to kiss you”

“There will be time enough for that” she said and squeezed his hand

 

After midnight, Annette and George shared the peace with their fellow worshippers and then when they went outside George got his kiss and then they went back to George’s cottage.

 

Early the next morning, just before dawn, Annette woke up and when her eyes grew accustomed to the dark she kissed George’s shoulder and got up.

She dressed quickly and then loaded Albie, George’s Jack Russell, into her car and drove her car “Seve”, so called because it was a Golf, home to her cottage.

She parked the car and went inside and when she came out again she was carrying a bag containing two changes of clothes and the Christmas presents and her dog Scamp was trotting along behind her.

She let Albie out of her car and then she walked the dogs the mile back to George’s Cottage.

 

“Settle down you two” she said to the dogs who quickly arranged themselves in front of the log burner, then she placed the presents beneath the tree and returned to bed and cuddled up to George.

“Merry Christmas Darling” Annette said as she kissed her love awake.

“Merry Christmas honey” he replied sleepily, and they cuddled up close.

“This is really nice, but we’d better get up and walk the dogs before breakfast” He said

“I did it already”

“Really? So, nothing to get up for then” George said and started nibbling Annette’s ear.

 

George and Annette finally dragged themselves out of bed and Annette walked the dogs again while George put the bird in the oven and made breakfast.

After they’d eaten, they both needed to shower but time was running out.

“We’d better get in together” George said

“Ok but no “funny business”” she said

“But you like the funny business” he pointed out

“I know but we don’t have time” Annette said

Without any “funny business” they made it to the Morning Service on time and when they returned to the cottage they got the lunch prepared and enjoyed the first of many Christmas together, including present opening after lunch followed by Christmas “Funny Business”.

Monday 7 December 2020

CROMWELLIAN (CLERIHEW)

 

 

The lord protector Oliver Cromwell

Killed thousands, the truth to tell

Beheaded the king and closed hostelries

And he cancelled the Christmas festivities

THE NOT-SO-GREAT WAR

 

“Your country needs you,” said Kitchener

You’re needed to fight them over there

 “It will be over by Christmas,” they said

But it was just getting started instead

In the cold trenches on Christmas morn

The guns remained silent after the dawn

Soon forgetting the horrendous conditions

Men began emerging from their positions

The opposing soldiers met in no man’s land

Then smiled and shook their enemy’s hand

Briefly at peace both sides felt regrets

Then they exchanged gifts of cigarettes

A day without a single shot fired at all

They even got to play a game of football

Sadly, the men returned their own way

They began killing again on Boxing day

 

Thursday 21 December 2017

Christmas 2017 # 2

DO YOU KNOW WHY THE CHRISTMAS ALPHABET

Do you know why the Christmas alphabet
Is one letter short? Then I will happily tell
There are only twenty five letters in it
Because the Christmas alphabet has Noel

CHRISTMAS IS WHEN I TRY TO BE UNUSUALLY KIND

Christmas is when I try to be unusually kind
And compassionate to those around me
Not that I’m a good person, it’s just because
I don’t know who my Secret Santa will be

I DON’T WANT A LOT OF FANCY PRESENTS

I don’t want a lot of fancy presents
Tied with bows and ribbon curls
I only want one thing for Christmas
And that’s Santa's list of naughty girls

FAIRY TRADITION

One Christmas, a long time ago
Santa Claus was trying to prepare
For the biggest night of the year
But events left him in despair

A flu epidemic hit the North Pole
And decimated the Elves
And a shortage of helpers
Meant there were empty shelves

The reindeer were rebellious
And Rudolph’s nose was Normal
His parcel sack had a hole in it
And Mrs Claus was menopausal

As a result of all his trials
He was not in the best frame of mind
So when a Fairy approached him
With good intent and being kind

Who was carrying an evergreen
And the Fairy asked cheerfully
“Where would you like me to put
This lovely Christmas Tree?”

Because of his really bad mood
He answered her unseasonably
And thus began the tradition
Of a Fairy atop the Christmas tree

BOXING DAY SPORT

Boxing Day is very popular
For Sport of all kinds in the UK
But in our corner of the land
Trial Pursuit is order of the day

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 18

Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the abode
Only one creature was stirring,
But she was on the commode

THERE IS AN OLD SAYING

There is an old saying
Which we now tend to disregard
Which goes “a green Christmas
Makes for a fat churchyard”

ICE THAT WILL BEAR THE WEIGHT OF SANTA

Ice that will, before Christmas,
Bear the weight of Santa
Will not, according to folklore,
Bear the weight of an Elf after

I AM THE UNBEATEN MASTER AT TRIVIAL PURSUIT

I am the unbeaten master at Trivial Pursuit
At the annual Christmas family sessions
But then I do have an advantage, because
We play with my original set of questions

IF FROM ALL THE BEST CHRISTMAS SHOWS

If from all the best Christmas shows
I had to pick only five
For me it would be any Christmas show
By Morecambe and Wise

ARE YOU WEARING RED? # 1

Are you wearing red?
And standing at the foot of my bed
I hope that means you’re Santa
And not Jeremy Corbyn instead

Wednesday 13 December 2017

Christmas 2017 # 1

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS SPATS?

Are you wearing Christmas spats?
Well I don’t like them much
But I have to admit that the motif
Of holly is a very nice touch

CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE

“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire”
That’s Christmas day with Stephen
But I only have myself to blame
For marrying a sodding vegan

RISQUÉ OR RUDE

If you do something at Christmas
That’s either risqué or rude
Then don’t be at all surprised
If it ends up on Yule Tube

INSULTED SANTA

The local shopping Mall Santa
Turned out to be a very grumpy chap
When a little girl put a bin bag down
Just before she sat on his lap

MY WORST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER # 3

My worst Christmas present ever
Without a doubt, I have concluded
Was when I received a box of batteries
Labelled “toys not included”

THREE MEN DIED ON CHRISTMAS EVE

Three men died on Christmas Eve
And were stood before St Peter
“You must all pass a simple test
Before you are allowed to enter”

“So produce a symbol of the season
Either on or about your person”

The first man retrieved a bauble
From his overcoat pocket
And St Peter turned to the gate
And proceeded to unlock it

St Peter said “You are blessed
Because you have passed the test”

The next man took a red bow
From his overcoat pocket
And St Peter turned to the gate
And proceeded to unlock it

St Peter said “You are blessed
Because you have passed the test”

The last man took a pair of panties
From his overcoat pocket
St Peter stood fast before the gate
And made no effort to unlock it

St Peter said “You are not blessed
Because you have failed the test”

“In what way do a pair of knickers
Symbolized the Christmas season
I fail to see how they are appropriate
So enlighten me as to the reason”

So the man proceeded to explain
“A young woman’s intimate apparels
Are without a doubt appropriate
When they happen to be carols”

IT WAS ANOTHER SUV CHRISTMAS

It was another SUV Christmas
Thanks to my significant other
No not that kind of SUV, I got
Socks, Underwear and Viagra

THERE IS A SINGING ELF

There is a singing Elf
Up at the North Pole
With a powerful voice
For one so small and dapper

The singing Elf croons
All day in the workshop
So the other Elf’s call him
The Christmas Wrapper

SANTA IS SUCH A JOLLY CHAP

Have you ever wondered
Why Santa is such a jolly chap?
Well it’s because he knows
Where all the naughty girls are at

WHY DOESN'T SANTA HAVE ANY KIDS?

Why doesn't Santa have any kids?
Well it’s impossible for him see
As he only comes once a year
And he’s normally up a chimney

Friday 9 December 2016

The Girl in the Christmas Dress

The Girl in the Christmas Dress (Part One)

Steve Berry had always had a dislike for Christmas, despite all the jollity and faux fun because unlike many of his Christmas mad friends he had no happy Christmas memories to anesthetise him against the season.
His parents were alcoholics and each year their Christmas came in a bottle and thanks to his father Steve’s came with a slap.
So his childhood Christmases were memories he would rather have forgotten.
But adulthood brought no relief and it always seemed to him that when shit happens Christmas just magnifies the misery.
If someone dies at Christmas the very season makes it more keenly felt.
He could testify to that as his mother died on Christmas Eve when he was 19.
He has no idea where his father is and quite frankly he doesn’t care.
He never showed up for the funeral and he could be dead as well for all he knew.
So as a result he has never trusted Christmas, he knows that shit lurks beneath the coloured lights and paper chains.
That was until Holly Davis opened his eyes to new possibilities and he realised that Christmas could also magnify joy.

He had found himself working behind the bar in her Uncle Phil’s pub, the Pig and Whistle.
He was still uncertain quite how she managed to affect that, but affect it she did and during the ten days working for her she had turned his life upside down and it culminated on Christmas Eve with him wishing her a Merry Christmas and kissing her at closing time.
Judging by the way Holly responded Steve hoped that kiss on Christmas Eve might have been the start of something but alas for him it didn’t lead anywhere.
Holly had indeed responded to his advance and in fact had been hoping for it but she knew it was far too soon to throw caution to the wind.
There were scabs as yet unpicked regarding Steve Berry that needed to be attended to before she completely let down her guard.
Holly considered him to be a work in progress she thought he had potential but he still needed work but there was certainly hope for him.

The other event that occurred on Christmas Eve was a prolonged snowfall which resulted in them being snowed in.
Holly was due to go to lunch at her cousin’s house but as she lived 30 miles away it was not possible to make the journey safely with the amount of snow that was laying.
Steve was due to spend the day alone not celebrating Christmas at all but Holly invited him to spend the day with her instead as he hadn’t risked driving home the night before.
He would have been quite happy to have slept on one of the bench seats in the lounge bar as he had once before but Holly insisted he use the spare room.
So that was how Steve Berry came to celebrate his first ever Christmas and why he was sitting at the bar nursing a cup of coffee in the clothes he had been wearing the night before.
“Morning” he said as she appeared behind the bar
“Happy Christmas” Holly said and reached over and kissed his cheek.
Now it was not the kiss he was hoping for and it was not possessed of the passion that accompanied the embrace of the night before but that simple peck on the cheek held within it, hope.
“God its cold in here” she said
“Yes, there was a power cut during the night and it knocked the boiler out” he said
“I’ve relit it but it’ll take a while to warm up”
“This was not the Christmas day I had in mind” Holly said putting the collar of her dressing gown up
“Nor me” he added
She was supposed to be dining on a sumptuous feast at her cousin’s house, while he was supposed to be in self-imposed exile at his flat.
“Do you want a drink?” he asked
“Oh yes please” she replied and Steve got up and went to the kitchen returning a few minutes later with a steaming mug of tea
“Thanks hon” she said and winced at her involuntary over familiarization and quickly went on
“I don’t know what we are going to eat today” Holly said
“We will need to ferret in the freezer”
“I didn’t know ferret was traditional Christmas fare” Steve said
“You know what I mean” she said “Can you cook?”
“A bit” he replied
“Good because I’m rubbish” Holly admitted
Steve actually undersold himself when he said he could cook a bit
He could in fact cook very well, exceptionally well.

Steve not being a traditionalist or a fan of the season could certainly make something out of what was on hand in the kitchen.
Holly however wanted to have a roast lunch, with all the trimmings, but after they checked the freezer they had to rule out a roast dinner as the joints would never have defrosted in time, but there were alternatives.
The fresh vegetable stores were limited but more than sufficient for two people.
Although she couldn’t cook herself Holly was determined to help firstly by peeling the potatoes and carrots and then by getting out of his way so he could get on by taking herself off upstairs to get ready for the day.

While Holly was gone Steve finished preparing the food and he was pleased that he had achieved something to suit Holly’s traditional wishes at least in part.
He had just reached the point where he could safely leave the kitchen and get showered and shaved when Holly reappeared and he was stopped in his tracks.
She looked stunning, her mousy hair, washed and styled was adorned with Christmas slides and she was wearing a white wool dress decorated with poinsettias.
And her shapely legs were covered by black tights with motifs of bows and parcels.
As he looked at her he thought to himself that he’d like them to be stockings rather than tights but nice legs were nice legs regardless of what they were sheathed in.
“Wow” Steve exclaimed
“Wow” he said again and Holly blushed
“It’s a Christmas dress you know” she said
“I don’t care” he said
“But you don’t like Christmas”
“It’s growing on me”
“Good” she said “you won’t mind wearing this then”
When would he ever learn, He now had to wear another blessed Christmas sweater.
“Where do you keep getting them from?” he asked
“They’re Uncle Phil’s” she replied “I buy him one every year”
“I’ve never seen Phil in a Christmas jumper” Steve said
“No nor of I” Holly agreed

The Girl in the Christmas Dress (Part Two)

Steve went upstairs, showered and shaved and returned to find Holly had laid a table in the lounge bar, complete with festive serviettes, candles, party poppers and crackers.
On the CD player the Puppini Sisters were in full voice and his natural aversion to Christmas music was tempered by the fact he caught Holly singing and dancing along with the music.
He stayed out of sight in the doorway so he could enjoy the spectacle as long as possible.
When she eventually became aware of him she blushed redder than the poinsettias on her dress.
“How long have you been standing there?” she said suddenly flustered and began fussing with the table.
“Long enough” Steve replied
“You should have said something” Holly said as she headed towards the kitchen
“What and spoil the show” he replied as he followed close behind

Holly carried on with the table while Steve checked the oven and ten minutes later he was transferring everything to serving dishes which Holly took to the table.
All he had left to do was make the gravy and get the Yorkshire puddings out of the oven.
Christmas dinner was as traditional as he could manage given the limits of the provisions available.
It was Holly’s turn to say “Wow” as he served Chicken breast wrapped in bacon, served with Roast potatoes, roast parsnips, carrots, peas, stuffing and Yorkshire pudding.
“What no starters” she said tongue in cheek
Holly lit the candles and Steve opened the wine they pulled the crackers and she made him wear a paper hat.
For desert he served apple pie and ice cream after which they watched the Queens speech.

As soon as the speech was over Holly switched off the TV
“What now?” he asked
“Now we sit and talk” She replied
“You mean “talk”” Steve said
“Yes”
“Do we have to” He said
“How are we supposed to learn about each other if we don’t talk?”
Holly replied
“So what do you want to know?” he said resignedly
“You’re childhood” Holly said with great interest
“What about it?” he replied
“Well, it’s not just Christmas that was unhappy was it”
“No it wasn’t” he replied and Holly settled back to let him unburden himself
“It wasn’t just Christmas, it was Easter, Halloween, birthdays and New Year’s”
He paused and took a drink
“you see My parents were alcoholics, when I was young they managed to somehow keep it under control but once I got to school age I pretty much raised myself, which is how I came to learn to cook because if I didn’t cook I didn’t eat”
They had spent a very pleasant Christmas day together, snowed in at the pub, the last thing he wanted to do was regurgitate the unpleasant moments of his life, particularly as he had been doing his best to forget them.
But once he started he couldn’t stop and by the end of it he was exhausted as they sat in the gathering darkness.
Holly was largely quiet throughout and just added the odd word of encouragement and support.
Holly broke the short period of silence.
“How do you feel?”
“Surprisingly good” he responded

Despite his feeling unburdened there was an awkward silence so Steve disappeared down to the kitchen to make them a snack.
He wondered if he should have held back and if he had unnerved Holly with his honesty.
When he had finished with the snack he put it on a tray and carried it upstairs to the lounge where Holly greeted his arrival with a smile.

“God that was good” Holly said after consuming his offering with relish
“Every cloud has a silver lining” he said referring to the reason he learned to cook,
“There is always a positive” Holly said “you just have to look for it”
“Well that’s what I plan to do” he said and cleared the plates away
“I’ll pour us another drink” He said

When he returned she was sitting with a Christmas present on her lap and she was smiling broadly.
“Happy Christmas” she said as she handed him the gift
“What’s this?” he asked
“Well open it and find out” Holly answered
“I wasn’t expecting a present” he said
Steve sat down and squeezed the package
“Oh no not another Christmas sweater” he said and Holly giggled as he tore the paper open.
But when he had removed all the paper and unfolded its contents he saw it was indeed a sweater but not a novelty Christmas one but a plain blue cashmere.
“That’s fantastic” he said enthusiastically “I love it
“Try it on then” Holly insisted and stood up
Holly took hold of the new one while Steve removed the one he was wearing and then they swapped.
As Steve pulled the cashmere over his head Holly held the novelty one he had just removed up to her nose and inhaled his scent.
“That looks great” she said when it was on
“It feels it” he said “can I keep it on?”
“Yes” she said and held the other one to her breast
He walked over to the tree and plunged his hand in between the branches.
It was perhaps testament to the progress that he had made over such a short period of time that he had actually bought her a present, which he removed from its hiding place and said
“Happy Christmas”
“When did you put that there?” she asked
“This morning” Steve replied
Holly ripped the paper off like a mad woman until she was left with a little blue presentation box embossed with gold relief.
She looked at it in wide eyed wonder, it was jewelry, and from a quality jeweler’s.
She took a deep breath and then opened it and she gasped.
“It’s lovely” she said as she took it out the box and held the gold pendant in her hand.
It was in the shape of a holly leaf with her name engraved on it.
“I love it” she said “put it on for me”
Steve took the pendant from her and when Holly turned her back to him, she reached back and scooped her hair out of the way while he fastened it.
Then she went to the mirror, stood on her tiptoes and looked at herself and admired the pendant.
“I really love it” Holly said and let out a squeal and then for the second day running they ended the day with a passionate kiss.