Sunday 29 November 2020

Snippets of Downshire Life – Feast of St Andrew

The traditional seaside resort of Sharpington-by-Sea with its Victorian Pier, seafront hotels, crazy golf, The Palladium ballroom, well maintained gardens, promenade, theatre and illuminations, has all the usual things to have a great time by the seaside, as well as amusement arcades and of course the Sharpington Fun Park and it was in the grand neighbourhood of Granite Hill, which in a nod to San Francisco, the locals had nicknamed Nob Hill where local Children’s Writer, Alesha Khan, was hosting a dinner party, and among the guests were Kerry Freeborn and Sharon Blackburn, a pair of visiting thespians.

 

The hostess had first met Kerry after they both took part in the World Book Day events at Sharpington Library and they became friends, but that evening was the first time Sharon and Alesha had met.

 

There was a period of reacquaintance with the guest that she knew and formal introductions to those she didn’t but then after a brief chat with her guests Alesha had to excuse herself to check on the food, so it was upto the guests to amuse themselves.

In addition to the hostess Alesha, were a skinny young woman of a similar age, Kim Labuschagne, an illustrator, who was an old school friend, who also assisted in the kitchen, then there was Alesha’s brother Zach, an artist, Russell Glavin, the new curate of St Lucy’s, Henry Appleby, Church Warden of same, Literary agents, Jayson and Kathryn Mercer, and Tim Street who was a Local Historian, so it was an interesting bunch.

 

Kerry and Sharon got to know each other when they both worked on a very popular TV soap and during their time on the show they became very good friends, and over the years, in addition to the soap they had also worked in the theatre and even in pantomime, which was why they were both in Sharpington, at the Bluebird Theatre, doing panto, playing the ugly sisters in Cinderella, which was intended to be ironic given the way they looked.

At 30 years old, Kerry was stunningly attractive, slim with shoulder length brunette hair and hazel eyes but even Sharon, who was three years older, put her friend in the shade with her looks.

Sharon was slightly taller and a little curvier than Kerry with a shock of flame red hair, so it wasn’t their looks that kept them single.

Their problem was that in their profession it was difficult to meet men, well the right kind of men at any rate, and had over the years grown weary of being hit on by all the usual suspects.

Men who wanted to either be seen with a famous actress on their arm or wanted the glamour lifestyle they imagined went along with being a successful actor or on the baser level just wanted to have sex with a celebrity.

There was another obvious alternative to those types of men, and that was to date someone from their own world, someone on a par with them, but in their experience most actors tended to have huge egos and small personalities.

So, despite their professional success they were no different to any other human being, looking for love or companionship or a family.

What they needed was someone who would like them or love them for who they were rather than thinking of them as a backstage pass to a celebrity life.

But neither of them were actively looking for anyone so it came as a complete surprise to meet a serious candidate at dinner party in a small seaside town.

But not only had Sharon met someone, she was instantly smitten, and that was even before she knew who he was.

The man in question was Zach Khan, older brother of the hostess, and a renowned artist, and from the first minute she saw him she was besotted and she hung on his every word, not that there were a lot of them, as he was rather shy, unlike his sister, who was outgoing and bubbly, he was reflective and guarded.

But Sharon wasn’t going to let that derail her, after all she could talk enough for the two of them, and when the time came for them to take their seats she found that she was seated opposite him and she gave him her full and undivided attention.

 

“I went to your exhibition in Abbottsford last year” she said “at the Beumont Gallery”

“Really?” he said doubtfully

“Yes I was in a play at the Empire and I passed the gallery every day on my way to the theatre, so I went in every day” she confessed

“Everyday?” he said with a smile “Even I wasn’t there every day”

“I must confess that the first time was more about having time to kill, than art, but it was art that took me back again and again”

“Well thank you for that”

“I would have gone more often but it wasn’t on long enough” she said “I was horrified one Monday morning to find you had been replaced by some ill conceived art installation”

“You are clearly a woman of taste” he said and raised his glass to her and she returned his toast

“So what was you favorite piece” he asked, expecting her to say something glib in return such as

“I liked them all”

He hoped he was wrong because he liked her.

“That’s really difficult” she replied “you’ve put me on the spot now”

“Oh dear” he thought

“There are actually three”

“Excuse me?”

“I can’t pin it down to one, so I have three pieces that I particularly liked” she said

“Tell me more” he instructed her desperate now to hear

“Two of them are paintings, “Umbrella Girl” and “The Defiant Harlot”“ she said “and the other was a sculpture “Spirit of Ecstacy Aflame”.

“Wow, I’m impressed that you remembered the names” he said “Most people say, “I liked the fairy with flames instead of wings”“ he said in a Monty Python voice and she laughed and then he went thoughtful and said

“Wait a minute, you were at the Empire Theatre while the exhibition was on”

“Yes” she admitted

“In Blue Blooded Murder?” he asked, impressed that he knew the name of the rather indifferent play

“Yes that’s right” she replied and then he studied her closely and put his hands up the frame her face, they way a film director would do

“Aha” he exclaimed “You were the murderer”

“Yes I was” she giggled

“You didnt have your lovelly red mane on show though” he said and she blushed at the compliment

“No it was under a black wig” she admitted, and then she whispered “it wasn’t a very good play”

“Well I liked it” he said “I actually went twice”

 

The remainder of the evening passed in the same easy manner until it was time to leave and they were suddenly thanking Alesha, who was at the front door saying goodbye to her guests in turn, and then they were outside.

Sharon was in a bit of a quandry because she was getting on so well with Zach that she didn’t really want the evening to end, and she would really have rather gone somewhere for a quiet drink than go back to the hotel.

But she was also mindful of the fact that she had gone there with Kelly and she didn’t want to ditch her.

So she and Zach, just hung around and waited to see what Kelly was going to do, he had noticed that she was getting on really well with Jayson, and just when she was about to accept the inevitable and walk back to the hotel with her friend she heard Jayson ask

“Are you staying at the Seaview?”

“Yes, we both are” Kelly replied

“Well why don’t I walk you there” he suggested “I’m sure Zach will be happy to escort Sharon” 

“Yes indeed” he said, and Sharon nodded vigorously

“We’ll be right behind you”

 

“Are you in a hurry to get back?” Zack asked as the ambled down the road to Sharpington Promenade from the heights of Granite Hill, with the gap between them and Jayson and Kelly lengthening with every step.

“No, not really, why?”

“Well there’s a little club just off the promenade called the Tainted Angel” he said “We could have a nightcap”

“The Tainted Angel?”

“Yes, though it’s not as seedy as the name suggests” he replied with a chuckle

“Oh well that’s ok then” she said “I’m in your hands”

“I like the sound of that” he said and put his arm through hers.

 

The Tainted Angel was located in a side street very close to the Hotel and when she first saw it her first impression was that the façade certainly didn’t hint at any seediness and Sharon was also pleasantly surprised with the interior, which was quite classy with its plush seating and moody lighting.

It was ostensibly a jazz club as hinted at by the artwork on the walls and in one corner was a small stage, which suggested there was live music at times, though not then, but there were jazz tunes emanating from the speakers. 

After getting their drinks from the bar they chose a quiet corner table from where they could see everything that was going on.

“This is nice” she said

“I like it” he agreed

“The music is good too” she said

“You like listening to Jazz?” Zach asked

“I do” she replied “But I like to play it as well”

“You do not!” he said incredulously “You’re a musician? What do you play?”

“Clarinet” she replied and smiled broadly “All the best Jazz is played on the Clarinet”

“That’s a bold statement, what about the Trumpet, Armstrong is sublime” he protested

“Yes, I know, and Kenny Baker’s Sax, Bix Beiderbecke’s Cornet and Oscar Petersen’s on Piano” she said passionately “But I will just say this, Artie Shaw, Benny Goodman and Acker Bilk, and then I will rest my case”

“Wow” he said “you’re irrepressible”

“I know it’s the red hair” she retorted and laughed

“So, when do you play?”

“As and when” she replied “There is a bunch of fellow Thesps who play wherever and whenever we can, Kelly plays piano”

“You should play here while you’re in Sharpington” he suggested “The owner would be thrilled”

“You know the owner then?”

“Kind off” he replied “I am the owner”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, I also own the Jazz Shack in Abbeyvale and I co-own Beiderbecke’s in Finchbottom” he said as he got up “Another drink?”

“Please”

 

The drinks kept coming as they sat and talked and they covered a lot of ground but as the time wore on what Sharon really wanted to talk about was him, the personal stuff, she knew he was an Artist who liked Jazz and the Theatre, but there was one vital area they hadn’t covered, so as the hour reached 2am and the drink had taken effect on her she asked.

“What about you?”

“What?” he replied

“What about you?” she repeated this time with more than a hint of a slur “are you spoken for?”

And she then reran the question in her head and was alarmed by the realization of what she had actually said

“What I meant to say is… um… err… are you… erm…”

And he smiled as he watched her struggle and get more and more flustered but decided to put her out of her misery.

“I’m single”

“Oh” she responded trying to appear indifferent “still not met the right girl?”

“I wouldn’t say that exactly” he replied but didn’t elaborate.

“What about you?” he asked

“Oh, still footloose and fancy free” Sharon replied

“That’s good to know” he said and then checked his watch and added “I’d better get you home Cinders”

“I’m not Cinders” she corrected him “I’m an ugly sister, can you believe that, bloody cheek”

 

It was only a short walk from the Club to the Hotel and she held on to him very tightly, not so much out of necessity than of lust. 

“I hope you didn’t mind me asking if you were… you know” she said “But I know what you Bohemian Arty types are like”

“Oh, and what are we like?” he asked

“A muse in every Garret” she retorted and dissolved into laughter, and she laughed so much that she had tears in her eyes, but when she looked up at him through tear filled eyes he kissed her, and what a kiss, it was the sort of kiss lovers longed for, and dreamt of

“So, what does this mean?” she asked when their lips parted

“What would you like it to mean?” he asked

“That you’re my bohemian and I’m you muse” she replied

“That’s precisely what it means” he said, and they kissed again.

Snippets of Downshire Life – St Andrew’s Day

The Pepperstock Hills National Park stretched from the bare, and often barren crags of Oxley Ridge in the North to the dense wooded southern slopes on the fringe of the Finchbottom Vale and from Quarry Hill, and the Pits in the West to Pepperstock Bay in the East.

It is an area of stark contrasts and attracted a variety of visitors.

The quarry hill side of the park to the west, as the name suggests, was heavily Quarried over several hundred years, though more extensively during the industrial revolution, the Quarries had been un-worked for over fifty years and nature had reclaimed them and former pits had become lakes and were very popular with anglers and the sparse shrubbery and woodland made it popular spot with courting couples whereas the northern crags and fells were popular with climbers and more hardy folk.

To the south and east was an extensive tract of magnificent mixed forestry and was rivalled only by the ancient woodland of the Dancingdean Forest.

One of the parks many villages was Springwater which was where Graham Reynolds had lived for all 63 years of his life, in fact he’d lived his entire life in the same house, and it had never once occurred to him that he should live anywhere else.

 

He was born in the late fifties and had few recollections of that austere decade, almost all his earliest memories were from the brasher, brighter and less restrained sixties.

But the earliest memories he did have were about Christmas and in the Reynolds household Christmas began on St Andrew’s Day, November 30th.

As a result of his awareness of the time, coming on the cusp of the decades, his earliest memories of Christmas were of a bright and sparkly time when paper chains and the watery coloured paper stars, bells and balls were being replaced by dazzling foil and tinsel.

Which included the Silver Tinsel Christmas Tree, when he looked back it was a quite unspectacular specimen of a tree compared to what’s on offer in the 21st century, but he loved it.

It stood less than 5 feet tall with its fold down tinsel covered wire branches, tipped with red beads to symbolize berries.

However, by the time his Dad had worked his not inconsiderable Christmas magic and covered it with every size, shape and shade of bauble, glass birds with feathered tails, lantern lights, strands of brightly coloured tinsel, foil covered chocolate treats and tiny crackers lain on the branches, it was transformed and was absolutely stunning.

It was the only tree he’d ever known until his teenage years came to an end, when in the mid-seventies he suggested that they have a real tree just for a change.

He would never have suggested it if he had realized for a second that it would signal the death knell of the Silver Tinsel Tree.

Because the following year it was replaced by a green plastic tree much more akin to those of today.

 

After his Dad died a few years later the task of decorating the tree fell to him and he instantly realized, sadly, that he hadn’t inherited his father’s tree dressing skill and was never able to equal him.

He came very close one year, in 1983 it was, but he concluded in the end that he merely flattered to deceive.

 

The task of tree dresser fell to his wife Evelyn which she performed admirably for 36 years, and she made a far better fist of it than Graham ever could.

However, whether she possessed the necessary skill to transform a Silver Tinsel Tree into something stunning he would never know, as she passed away in October.

“What I would give to watch you dress the tree again my darling” he said as he stared at the naked branches “and then hold you in my arms beside it”

The Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa – The First Sunday of Advent Matinée

The beautiful Downshire village of Clerembeax St Giles was situated to the west of Abbeyvale located between Grace Hill and Bushy Down and on the outskirts was the Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa and when staffing the Hotel, they wanted to employ from the village populous where possible, and that was how the Ward girls came to work at the Palace.

Donna was the oldest at twenty five and the smallest at 5ft 2 and she took under her wing the even more diminutive Laura Van Zyl and they grew close over the months, but on the afternoon of the first day of advent, they played a prank on a shy young lad beneath mistletoe, when they both kissed him on the cheeks, just a peck on each cheek, but that was enough to make him turn beetroot red, and rush through the doors unceremoniously.

They both fell about laughing at his reaction and then Donna held the mistletoe above Laura’s head and she kissed her, but unlike with Graham it didn’t stop at a peck, in fact it didn’t stop at all, and the recipient didn’t run away red faced down the corridor.

 

Later that same December afternoon Donna Ward and Laura Van Zyl lay naked beneath the duvet in room 114.

And in its cosiness, they were both silently contemplating their situation and reflecting that it was not how they had envisaged the day panning out.

Donna was holding Laura, who had her head on her new lover’s chest and it was her who finally broke the silence when she said

“That was quite a surprise”

“Which part?” Donna asked

“All of it” she replied “but it was a very nice surprise”

“Which part?” Donna asked again

“All of it” she replied and giggled

“I’d never done it before” She confessed, in fact Laura had never done anything before, with anyone, she was a virgin in every conceivable sense of the word.

“I know Honey” Donna said

“Do you mind?” the novice asked

“No of course not” she replied, “You do know that I’ve done it before?”

“God yes” she replied and giggled again

“But I didn’t know you were a ….”

Donna chuckled and kissed her forehead and said

“A lesbian”

“That’s right, because I automatically assumed the Phil, you’re always talking about, was a man”

Laura explained.

Phil was Donna’s partner of 5 years until she married a man.

“Are you disappointed?” she asked

“What with?” Laura replied with another question

“The fact that I’m a Lesbian” answered Donna

“Are you kidding? After what we just did?”

They both giggled and then Laura kissed Donna with warmth and passion.

“You realise that this means you are a Lesbian as well now?” 

“Really?” she responded as she cuddled up closer still to her lover “How exotic, what would my mother say?”

“Do you care?” Donna asked

“Not for a second”

They lay quiet again for a few minutes before Laura said sheepishly

“I do have one question though”

“What’s that Honey?” Donna asked

“I was just wondering when we might um…” she began

“You were wondering what?” she asked suspiciously

“Well… when we could do it again?” she asked and buried her face in Donna’s chest to hide her embarrassment

“That’s very brazen” she said

“I know” Laura said without lifting her head

“Well as it’s our day off, its dark out, the room is at our disposal and we’re all cosy warm in bed already, so I suppose we could do it again right now”

“Oooh really” Laura purred “I like the sound of that”

“You do realise though that you’ll never get to heaven behaving so brazenly”

“I’m already there” Laura replied

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa – The First Sunday of Advent

The beautiful Downshire village of Clerembeax St Giles was situated to the west of Abbeyvale located between Grace Hill and Bushy Down and on the outskirts was the Clerembeax Palace Hotel and Spa and when Yvonne Labuschagne inherited it from her cousin, the last remaining Clerembeax, she undertook the task of modernizing the Palace and opening a Hotel and Spa offering, fitness classes, gym, rock sauna, infra-red sauna, aroma steam room, ice fountain, drench showers, Jacuzzi, a Romanesque pool, Reflexology, Raki, facials, scalp massage, hand massage, Manicure and Pedicure, while also providing accommodation, meeting and function rooms, a superior restaurant and whatever temptation might attract potential visitors.

She was by profession a masseuse and had worked for many years along with her late husband at the Dancingdean Spa Hotel in Childean.

Staffing the Hotel and Spa was crucial, and Yvonne used her contacts in the Spa world to find the right specialist people in her field of expertise’s and employed Hannah Morgan to fill the remainder of the roles, on the understanding that she employ from the village populous where possible, and that was how the Ward girls came to work at the Palace.

 

The Ward family had a small holding on the North side of the village, parents Jack and Olive, and daughters Donna, Felicity, Josephine, and Maxine.

It was a profitable concern and gave them all a modest living but when the Palace opened, it gave them a chance to supplement their incomes without having to travel to Abbeyvale.

They were all hard-working girls and didn’t care what work they did so Hannah Morgan didn’t hesitate to offer them all housekeeping jobs.

Donna was the oldest at twenty-five and the smallest at 5ft 2.

But she was wiry and strong with thick chestnut coloured hair.

With the girls all working shifts at the Spa it was necessary to employ some extra labour when harvest time came around.

Which was when Laura Van Zyl came into Donna’s life.

She was smaller than her and even thinner and although they had both spent their entire lives in the village they had never met.

Laura was only 18, shy, naïve and sweet natured and all alone in the world she didn’t really understand.

She had been raised by a bitter, mean spirited and domineering mother.

Her father had deserted them when she was a baby and her mother blamed Laura and made her life a misery.

But now she was free and living in the cottage in which her mother kept her imprisoned, but there was only a little money, so she had to work.

 

Donna took her under her wing immediately and showed her how things were none.

“You’re a quick learner” Donna said “Like my Phil was”

“Thank you” Laura said meekly

During the first week of harvesting they got on really well although the conversations were fairly one sided as Laura was as quiet as a mouse, while Donna prattled on, Phil did this, and Phil did that, but Laura didn’t mind, she’d never had anyone that talked to her before.

 

After a couple of weeks at the farm Donna said

“You’re a really hard worker, we could use you up at the Palace”

“Really?”

“Yes, I’ll get you an application form if you like” she said

“Oh, I can’t do it then” Laura said

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t read or write” she said quietly and started to cry

“Don’t cry honey” Donna said

“I’ll help you with the form”

“Will you?” she asked as she wiped tears off her cheeks with her sleeve

“Yes of course”

“But what if they ask me to read something, or fill something in while I’m there” she said in a panic

“You’ll be making beds and cleaning bathrooms” Donna said “All you need to be able to do is recognize room numbers, and I know you can do that”

“But…”

“And I will teach you to read and write” Donna said

“Honestly?” she asked and began crying again

 

Over the next couple of months Donna was good to her word, she helped Laura fill in the form, and got her an interview, and explained to Hannah Morgan about the illiteracy, which they were already addressing, and Laura got the job and by the beginning of December Hannah had waived the remainder of her probation because she was such a hard worker.

 

Also, over that period Donna also took it upon herself to introduce Laura to things she had not been exposed to in her earlier life.

Donna already knew that her knowledge of popular culture was virtually non-existent, so the cinema was an obvious choice, as was bowling and Pizza.

But there was one thing that she was reluctant to introduce her to, which was very important to Donna, the Church.

The Ward Family had always been churchgoers and not out of a sense of duty, the whole family had very strong faiths, but Laura was a blank canvas, but at the end of November Laura suggested they do something as they both had Sunday off.

“We could go shopping” Laura suggested

“I can’t” she replied “I have Church in the Morning, it’s the first Sunday of Advent”

“I don’t know what that is, is it important?”

“Yes” Donna replied and then explained its significance

“Could I go?” she asked

“Anyone can go” Donna replied

“Could I go with you?”

“Of course, you can Honey” she said and smiled at the sweet innocence on her face.

 

“Is it always like that?” Laura asked as they left St Giles’

“Sometimes it’s even better” Donna replied “I take it that you enjoyed it”

“Oh yes”

“Well if you liked that then you’ll love the Carol Service, Christingle, Midnight Mass and Christmas Morning”

“And I can go to all of them?” she asked innocently

“Yes honey” Donna replied and put her arm around her

 

Laura had lunch with Ward family and then afterwards she and Donna delivered a van load of Door Wreathes, Holly Boughs and Sprigs of Mistletoe to the Hotel.

There were plenty of willing hands at the Hotel to help unload the van but before they left she needed to go and get the delivery signed for by Hannah, so she parked the van and went inside.

It only took a minute to get the manifest signed off, but before they left Donna spotted Graham Watts, who was a shy young lad that Donna knew fancied one of her sisters, so she thought she’d have some fun with him before they left, so she snaffled some mistletoe and went after him.

When they caught up with him he was on the first floor.

“Hey Graham, you’re taller than us, can you hang this sprig over this door?” Donna asked pointing above the door.

“Oh ok” he replied and adopted a strange ungainly stance before reaching up, at which point they both kissed him on the cheeks beneath the mistletoe, just a peck on each cheek, but that was enough to make him turn beetroot red, drop the mistletoe and rush through the doors unceremoniously.

They both fell about laughing at his reaction and then Donna held the mistletoe above Laura’s head as she adopted Graham’s distinctive stance and she kissed her, but unlike with Graham it didn’t stop at a peck, in fact it didn’t stop at all, and the recipient didn’t run away red faced down the corridor.