Friday 31 December 2021

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CHRISTMAS AT GRAND VALLEY (2018)

 

After failing to get the Gallery show she had worked so hard for, artist Kelly (Danica McKellar) feels burned out from life in Chicago, so she returns home to the picturesque Grand Valley just in time for Christmas.

She hopes that a hometown Christmas will reinvigorate her love of art and guide her down her next path and with that in mind she volunteers to run the kids club at the Grand Valley Hotel.

Which is where she meets Leo (Brennan Elliott), a widowed businessman and father of two, who struggles with the work/life balance, but when he is assigned to review a hotel in Grand Valley to ascertain its value, he sees it as the perfect opportunity for a Christmas family vacation.

Along the way Kelly and Leo's worlds collide, and she re-experiences her favourite Grand Valley traditions with Leo and his children, which reignites her passion for art while opening up her heart.

CHRISTMAS STAR

 

I wouldn’t need to look too far

To find the perfect Christmas star

I’d open my eyes and there you are

I don’t have to wish upon a star

To find the perfect Christmas star

Because you're the very best by far

Tuesday 14 December 2021

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A HOLIDAY ROMANCE (1997)

 

Kathleen Russell (Roma Downey) is a hard-working single mother, who is saving to buy a house for herself and her daughter, Zoey (Sarah Rosen Fruitman).

Whereas Sam Field (Eric McCormack) is a businessman who has to pretend he has a family in order to close a deal with the mysterious Javier Del Campo (Hector Elizondo).

Sam owns the company that Kathleen works for, and as her boss, manages to convince her to help him out by posing as his wife, for a price, which she thought would help her to buy the house.

But Del Campo is more than he seems, and it just might be Zoey who's making the real deal to get a new home for herself, her mother, and Sam.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 31

 

Twas the night before Christmas

And all thru the Home

All the children were sleeping

Except little Jerome

Who pretended to sleep

So, he would be able to see

Santa arrive, but he fell asleep anyway

So, it was not to be

ARE YOU WEARING A NEW YEARS OUTFIT?

Are you wearing a New Year’s outfit?

Well you really do look good in it

And it doesn’t look risqué, not a bit

It’s a really cracking little outfit

Though all the emphasis is on the fit

THIS YEAR I’M GOING TO STAY UP

 

This year I’m going to stay up

On New Year’s Eve

Not to see in 2021

But to make sure 2020 leaves

MY NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION

 

My New Year’s resolution

And my reasoning is sound

And that is to get in shape,

In the end, I chose round

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS (2016)

Jackie Foster (Mena Suvari), is a dynamic Assistant District Attorney and single mom to Gracie (Giselle Eisenberg) and is happy enough with her life,

Jackie's estranged dad, Jack (James Brolin), a gruff retired police officer, is travelling around North America in his RV and having not seen his daughter for a decade, unexpectedly shows up at her door.

His surprise visit during Christmas brings mixed feeling for her, not so for the rest of the town, who are very happy to see him again and his granddaughter proves to be very fond of him and together they do all the festive stuff while Jackie and her Dad are forced to confront the source of old wounds as he attempts to win his daughter back.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 30

 

Twas the night before Christmas

And all thru the Mansion

Not a creature was stirring

Amidst all the family tension

As they were all in their rooms

Doing self-medication

ARE YOU WEARING MISTLETOE?

 

Are you wearing Mistletoe?

I don’t mind kissing you below

Your little sprig of mistletoe

But you’re wearing it quite low

CHRISTMAS LIGHTING CEREMONY

 

“I’m switching on the Christmas lights

In Cardiff” My Brother told me excitedly

But in typical minor celebrity fashion he added

“I didn’t even know they had electricity”

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – ON THE SECOND DAY OF CHRISTMAS

 

Con-woman Trish (Mary Stuart Masterson) and her niece/ward Patsy (Lauren Pratt) are caught in the act of trying to steal from a department store right before Christmas, by a “by-the-book” department store security guard, Bert (Mark Ruffalo).

With the holidays so close, Bert, a loyal store employee is assigned as the custodian of a pickpocketing duo, and reluctantly agrees to be responsible for the pair so that Patsy need not spend the holidays in social services.

Obviously as it’s a Christmas movie so Romance ensues.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 29

 

Twas the night before Christmas

And all thru the Lodge

Not a creature was stirring

Especially not Rodge

And everyone was grateful

As he was the bullet to dodge

Which is why they didn’t say

They were off to the Lodge

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS KNICKS?

 

Are you wearing Christmas knicks?

Proper novelty underwear

All festively decked down below

In a suitably seasonal pair

It doesn’t matter the decor

It will make an old man stare

Just you in your Christmas knickers

What wonderful Christmas fare

PREMIER INN ADVENT CALENDAR

 

I got an Advent Calendar this year

From the Hotel chain “Premier Inn”

With a chocolate behind every window

But of course, you couldn’t open them

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – MIRACLE OF THE HEART

 

Medical resident Nathan Andrews (Neil Patrick Harris), goes back home to his small town after he loses a teenager on the operating table.

He joins his dad Jack (Hugh Thompson) and his mechanic's business and becomes a basketball coach to some young people, which is where he meets Charlie Bennett (Angus T. Jones) and Meghan Sullivan (Rebecca Gayheart).

Nathan falls for Meghan but she thinks he’s a mechanic and he neglects to tell her that he’s a surgeon but then Charlie is taken ill, the truth comes out.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 28

 

Twas the night before Christmas

And all thru the Tower

Not a creature was stirring

As they neared the midnight hour

And the reason for that was

A black out so they had no power

ARE YOU WEARING IT THE RIGHT WAY?

 

Are you wearing it the right way?

I heard the pretty girl say

Should it be tied like so?

For kissing under the mistletoe

Am I showing my naïveté?

In the most embarrassing way

It’s just that I kind of felt

It shouldn’t be tied on your belt

MICROSOFT ADVENT CALENDAR

 

I got a Microsoft Advent Calendar

This year, but if you should open

Too many Windows, They will,

For no apparent reason all close again

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A CHRISTMAS CAROL (1999)

 

Patrick Stewart stars as miser Ebenezer Scrooge in this quality retelling of Charles Dickens' “A Christmas Carol”.

The classic tale in which he is taught the true meaning of Christmas by three Spirits who visit him, revealing to him the truth about his own miserable existence, what opportunities he wasted in his youth, his current catalogue of cruelties, and the dire fate that awaits him if he does not change his ways.

Scrooge is faced with his own story of growing bitterness and meanness, and must decide what his own future will hold, death or redemption.

The Spirits are played by Joel Grey (Past), Desmond Barrit (Present) and Tim Potter (Future)

The other key characters and portrayed by Bernard Lloyd (Marley), Laura Fraser (Belle), Richard E. Grant and Saskia Reeves (The Cratchit’s), Ben Tibber (Tiny Tim), Ian McNeice and Annette Badland (The Fezziwig’s), Dominic West (Fred) and Rosie Wiggins (Fran).

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 27

 

Twas the night before Christmas

And all thru the Hall

Not a creature was stirring

After the Christmas Eve Ball

Except the servants of course

Who didn’t sleep at all

ARE YOU WEARING A BUNCH OF MISTLETOE?

 

Are you wearing a bunch of mistletoe?

Well you certainly mean business

Isn’t that overkill? “Less is more” after all

But you know what your doing I guess

Are you aiming at a particular beau?

Do you have a target in mind?

Or are you more indiscriminate

Scattergun like or something of the kind

Oh so there is an object of your affections

Is it perhaps someone that I know?

It’s someone I know very well indeed?

I still don’t know the identity of your beau

It’s me? I’m the one you desire?

You want to kiss me beneath the mistletoe?

I WAS PUNCHING BUTTONS ALL DAY

 

I was punching Buttons all day

But I got the sack though

Which was a little disappointing

Because I liked doing Panto

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – IT'S A DOGGONE CHRISTMAS (2016)

 

The CIA are transporting a pint-sized Jack Russel Terrier with amazing telepathic abilities, to a military base, by train, under the watchful gaze of Agent Sheppard (Jaret Sacrey) and Dr. Langley (Dominique Swain), when he escapes from the Agents clutches.

Once he leaves the train in the mountains he immediately makes his way down to the valley below where he meets two brothers Ronnie and Hugo (Jonathan Tysor and Jayden Hedden) and their friends Jamie, Janelle and Issac (Walker Mintz, Jolie Ledford and Dilan Patton), and the youngsters fall in love with the dog at first sight, even before they know that he’s physic.

However the Government are not going to let their asset go without a fight so they despatch the no-nonsense Special Forces agent, Camilla Sharp (Lauren Parkinson), who will stop at nothing to retrieve the dog or make sure no one else does, and she has Helicopters, drones and hi-tech weapons at her disposal.

However the friends, armed only with their wits, their bikes and a strong, newly formed bond with their cold-nosed friend 'Murphy', channel the real spirit of Christmas to try and save the dog and the day.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 26

 

Twas the night before Christmas

And all thru the church

The faithful were eager for mass

As on their pews they perch

ARE YOU WEARING IT FOR A REASON?

 

Are you wearing it for a reason?

Is it because of the festive season?

You won’t be kissed under the mistletoe

Because you’re wearing it too low

MY MATE IS PLANNING A TRIP TO LAPLAND

 

My mate is planning a trip to Lapland

As his kids really want to go

He would prefer elves landing on his lap

At Santa’s Village bar à gogo

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – MUST BE SANTA

 

Petty criminal Floyd Court (Arnold Pinnock) accidentally gets selected to replace the old Santa (Gerard Parkes).

At the North Pole Natalie Fairlie (Deanna Milligan) is happy to run with the Santa that fate has selected but her colleague Tuttle (Dabney Coleman) is far from happy and does everything within his power to have his own candidate selected with humorous results.

This is a very heart-warming and entertaining family film so give it a watch if you get the opportunity.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 25

 

Twas the night before Christmas

And all thru the Hamlet

Not a creature was stirring

But no need to fret

They were at midnight mass

And hadn’t returned yet

From the Church in town

Where they were well met

THE FAMILIAR SHOUT AT A PANTOMIME

 

The familiar shout at a pantomime

Is “it’s behind you”

But if the actor is a former great

We shout “it’s beneath you”

IN SANTA’S VILLAGE AT THE NORTH POLE

 

In Santa’s village at the north pole

They watch a lot of Christmas TV

Christmas movies are most popular

Watched on Yule tube obviously

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – SILENT NIGHT (2002)

 

In the bitter winter of 1944 in the depths of the Ardennes Forest, a German Mother, Elisabeth Vincken (Linda Hamilton) and her son Fritz (Matthew Harbour) are seeking refuge in a remote cabin in the woods, which is unfortunately now right on the front line.

They had barely settled in when they are joined, against their will, by three American soldiers one of whom is wounded and then tensions rise when three German soldiers also arrive, Elisabeth successfully convinces the soldiers to put aside their differences for one evening so they can share a Christmas Eve dinner.

THREE MEN DIED ON CHRISTMAS EVE

 

Three men died on Christmas Eve

And were stood before St Peter

“You must all pass a simple test

Before you are allowed to enter”

 

“So produce a symbol of the season

Either on or about your person”

 

The first man retrieved a bauble

From his overcoat pocket

And St Peter turned to the gate

And proceeded to unlock it

 

St Peter said “You are blessed

Because you have passed the test”

 

The next man took a red bow

From his overcoat pocket

And St Peter turned to the gate

And proceeded to unlock it

 

St Peter said “You are blessed

Because you have passed the test”

 

The last man took a pair of panties

From his overcoat pocket

St Peter stood fast before the gate

And made no effort to unlock it

 

St Peter said “You are not blessed

Because you have failed the test”

 

“In what way do a pair of knickers

Symbolized the Christmas season

I fail to see how they are appropriate

So enlighten me as to the reason”

 

So the man proceeded to explain

“A young woman’s intimate apparels

Are without a doubt appropriate

When they happen to be carols”

CHRISTMAS EVE AT THE NORTH POLE

 

Christmas Eve at the North Pole

Under moonlit skies

Creeping around the Village

Are the Mince spies

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 24

 

Twas the night before Christmas

And all thru the Shop

The last-minute shoppers

Were all copping a strop

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A WIND AT MY BACK CHRISTMAS

 

In the approach to Christmas 1938, a lot is happening in the lives of the Bailey and Sutton families in the town of New Bedford.

Grace Mainwaring and her mother - the Bailey family matriarch, May Bailey - are in Europe collecting the remains of Grace's husband, Van, who was killed in the war in Spain and Hub Bailey (Dylan Provencher) is in the seminary at the University of Toronto.

Back in New Bedford, Hub's mother, Honey Sutton (Laura Bruneau), is following in her son's footsteps and is also a University of Toronto student where she is taking courses by correspondence although she would rather take classes in person.

Honey's husband, Max (James Carroll), has to take over many of the household duties because of Honey's busy schedule, this in addition to his regular work as the school's principal and the town mayor which leaves no time for his passion, writing.

Even the Christmas pageant, which is being directed by May's daughter-in-law, Toppy Bailey (Robin Craig), so there is more than enough going on without intrigue and a jingoistic police presence.

But Christmas has the last word.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 23

 

Twas the night before Christmas

And all thru the Town

The streets were all wearing

Their bright tinseled gown

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS GARTERS?

Are you wearing Christmas garters?

Answer me that one for starters

Beneath your dress up high

Around your black clad thigh

Where the black sheath is stopping

Where they are lacy at the topping

Are there festive garter rings

Sexily placed decorative things

Please answer this one for starters

Are you wearing Christmas garters? 

PUZZLED AUNTY

 

Bimbette wouldn’t buy

Her niece a jigsaw

For Christmas Even though

She’d asked for it before

It was Because it was labelled

6-8 years

So not finishing it in the two week

Holiday was her fear

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – MY ANGEL (2011)

 

Fifteen year old Eddie's mother (Janet Dibley) falls very ill after a serious car accident so Eddie (Joseph Phillips) and his brother Stewart (Angus Harrison) end up having to take care of themselves and one night when they have run out of food and the electricity has gone off, Eddie dreams that his mother asks him to find an angel's halo so that she can be saved.

Neither Brenda Blethyn as the Headmistress, Celia Imrie as the Librarian, Timothy Spall as Mr. Lambert or Mel Smith as Eddies Uncle Richard help him in his endeavour so will Eddie be able to save his mother in time for Christmas?


TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 22

 

Twas the night before Christmas

And all thru the village

There was a terrible smell

Following a diesel spillage

VISITING ETHOS

 

Santa Claus definitely

Has the right idea

When he only visits

People once a year

WHEN RUDOLPH HAD AN UPSET STOMACH

 

When Rudolph had an upset stomach

It was one of Santa little helpers

Who came to the sick Reindeers rescue

And gave him some Elka-seltzer

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A PERFECT CHRISTMAS (2016)

 

Steve and Cynthia Faber (Dillon Casey and Susie Abromeit) are a newlywed couple celebrating their first Christmas together who inexplicably invite their families to join them for the holidays, but when Steve is laid off just before Christmas and Cynthia discovers that she's pregnant, they both keep their news secret in hopes that the celebration runs smoothly.

The film moves along at a lively pace aided by a good supporting cast and it’s a fun film that’s well worth a watch.


TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 21

 

Twas the night before Christmas

And all down the Lane

Not a creature was stirring

Especially not Shane

As like every year he was

Passed out in a ditch again

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS STOCKINGS?

 

Are you wearing Christmas stockings?

Beneath your long red coat

Are you suitably resplendent?

Will you really float my boat?

Are they risqué and shocking?

Will they easily get my vote?

It could mean a happy Christmas

For a certain horny old goat

IN SANTA’S CHRISTMAS VILLAGE

 

In Santa’s Christmas village

What do you call a female Elf?

Well not an Elfess or Elfette

So, the name would be “a Shelf”

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER –HOLLYGROVE

 

Emotionally frigid, workaholic attorney Kate Jordan (Jen Lilley) reluctantly accepts an end-of-the-year assignment to get a reputedly haunted inn and has three weeks to get it appraised and sold by year's end.

When she gets there the uncooperative manager claims a spirit who lives there will not approve, but with Kate's possible promotion resting on accomplishing this task, she checks in and as a result she meets Daniel (Thomas Beaudoin) the resident ghost who she thinks looks suspiciously solid for a ghost.

Then he explains that for the past ninety-five years, he inexplicably returns to life each December during the twelve days of Christmas.

Kate has only one logical recourse left open to her for their mutual benefit, and that is to break the curse that binds him to the Inn, but she starts falling for the man who is almost a century her senior which was very much not in her plans, but then it is Christmas.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 20

 

Twas the night before Christmas

And all thru the apartment

Not a creature was stirring

As they were all quite content

ARE YOU WEARING A SPRIG OF MISTLETOE?

 

Are you wearing a sprig of mistletoe?

Are you hoping to meet a beau?

And kiss him passionately in the snow

An embrace to leave you all aglow

Is that why you wear the mistletoe?

SANTA CLAUS PASSED HIS TEST

 

Santa Claus passed his test

One fine frost filled day

Which was evidenced

By Noel plates on the sleigh

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – HOLIDAY SPIN

 

Blake (Garrett Clayton) and his mother Roxy (Erika Eleniak) live in Charlotte, North Carolina where she owns a dance studio but he is looking forward to a career as a fighter.

However all that tragically ends on Thanksgiving Eve when there is a terrible car accident in which Roxy is killed and Blake is seriously injured.

When he is recovering, he finds Ruben (Ralph Macchio) at his bedside announcing he is his father and that he is taking him back to Miami, Blake objects but as he is only 17 he has no choice but to go with the man who abandoned him as a baby.

Ruben is a former ballroom dancer and owns a dance studio where he lives with his wife, Emily (Karen Olivo), and it’s there where Blake meets and falls in love with one of Reuben’s dancers, Pia (Allie Bertram).

The story revolves around the “Holiday Spin” which is a dance competition held every Christmas Eve with the couples dancing to Christmas carols and the grand prize of $50,000 goes to the dance studio that the dancers represent.

So there is a lot at stake for Blake and Pia as they go up against Rob (Benji Schwimmer) and Tezza (Julia Harnett).

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 19

 

Twas the night before Christmas

And all thru the gaff

There were cheap tacky decs

That looked really Naff

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS SPATS?

 

Are you wearing Christmas spats?

Well I don’t like them much

But I have to admit that the motif

Of holly is a very nice touch

SANTA’S SLEIGH BROKE DOWN

 

Santa’s sleigh broke down

So, he stopped a passing motorist

Who offered to give him a toe

But then he was a Chiropodist

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – MERRY KISSMAS

 

Unwinding her relationship from a controlling stage director/choreographer, Kayla (Karissa Lee Staples) happens to take an elevator ride with a lonely caterer called Dustin (Brant Daugherty).

Serendipitously the elevator stalls, and as often happens in a Christmas movie a spontaneous magical kiss follows, and that should have been that.

Unfortunately, the choreographer Carlton (David O'Donnell) goes on a charm offensive to get Kayla back and Dustin withdraws from the scene.

But Kayla is left confused as she now doesn’t know which man to love.

Roxanne Hart and Doris Roberts also feature in this entertaining Christmas offering.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 18

 

Twas the night before Christmas,

And all through the abode

Only one creature was stirring,

But she was on the commode

ARE YOU A CHRISTMAS FAIRY?

 

Are you a Christmas Fairy?

It’s just you’re a little bit scary

And you also look a bit weird

I think it’s the long ginger beard

A BROKEN DRUM IS THE BEST

 

A broken drum is the best

Christmas gift you can get

That might come as a surprise

But you really can’t beat it

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – 12 GIFTS OF CHRISTMAS

 

Anna Parisi (Katrina Law) is an aspiring artist who is looking for that big break but after getting the brush off from a snooty art museum manager and being unable to make ends meet she turns to her other talent which is personal shopping and plans to develop that into a side business over the upcoming holidays.

Marc Rehnquist (Aaron O'Connell) is
an uptight workaholic advertising executive who is always on his mobile phone, he briefly met Anna at a bakery and later employs her to pick out Christmas gifts for his family and friends.

At first things are difficult as Anna gets a gift for a friend of his that was not on his list and he essentially sacks her, but he rethinks his decision when it turns out that his friend actually liked the gift and thought it was the best he had ever got him.

So he then gives her a free reign to get the kind of presents his friends like, rather than what he can afford.

Marc learns that Christmas giving has less to do with the amount of money spent and more to do with the importance of the gift, while Anna discovers she might find success as an artist in a way she never expected.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 17

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the house

Not a creature was stirring not even a louse

But there is a reason and here’s the tell

It’s just been fumigated and stank like hell

ARE YOU WEARING FAIRY DUST?

 

Are you wearing fairy dust?

If you’re a fairy it really is a must

But the one thing I cannot tell

Are you the one called Tinkerbelle?

THERE’S A MEAN FEMALE AT THE POLE

 

There’s a mean female at the Pole

Playing all the reindeer games

“Olive, the other reindeer, used

To laugh and call him names”

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CHRISTMAS CHILD

 Jack Davenport (William R. Moses) is a reporter who has been having a difficult time getting much joy out of his life.

Relations with his wife Meg (Megan Follows) and his job both fail to revive his spirits so while he is working on a story in Dallas, he comes across a photograph that gets his attention.

The photograph leads him to the Texas town of Clearwater, where he learns about the town's ornate nativity scene and confronts his past in the hope that it can lead him to a happier future.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 16

 

Twas the night before Christmas and every abode

Was shrouded in silence all down the road

But no house was empty, they were all in their homes

They were hiding from caroler’s from St Jerome’s

ARE YOU WEARING WHITE TINSEL?

 

Are you wearing white tinsel?

Tied amidst your lustrous curls

It makes you look so beautiful

And more like an angel than a girl

CHRISTMAS EVE AT THE NORTH POLE

 

Christmas Eve at the North Pole

Under moonlit skies

Creeping around the Village

Are the Mince spies

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – BEVERLY HILLS PUPPY

 

This is a good Christmas movie aimed at a family audience, with a wonderful message in which, with help from a guardian angel, a spoiled rich and very materialistic teenage girl learns that true value is found in assisting others and not in material possessions.

It has a great cast to tell the tale, Donna Spangler (Angelina Foxworth), Dean Cain (Archangel Gabriel), John Savage (Mr. Winters), Ravin Spangler (Ravin Foxworth), Brittan Taylor (Hannah), Simona Fusco (Yvonne), Cindy Marinangel (nurse), Brandon Russell (Jerry), Vincent De Paul (James Foxworth), Sue Wong appears as herself and of course the ridiculously adorable Jack Pomeranian steals the show as Bunny the dog.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 15

 

Twas the night before Christmas and thru the bungalow

Not a creature was stirring in the fireside glow

They’d all been evacuated because of the flood

And the living room floor was all covered in mud

ARE YOU WEARING BLACK TINSEL?

 

Are you wearing black tinsel?

Tied amidst your lustrous curls

Well you must either be a Grinch

Or you’re a very wicked girl

SANTA HAS TO WORK HARDER THIS YEAR

 

Santa has to work harder this year

At the North Pole I fear

Since the jackpot of Euromillions

Was won by Santa minions

Monday 13 December 2021

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – 29TH STREET

 

On Christmas Eve, Frankie Pesce Jr (Anthony LaPaglia) of Queens wins $6 million in New York State's first lottery.

But instead of joy, he's in a rage, breaking church windows and disturbing the peace after which he is arrested.

At the police station, he tells his story to Sgt Tartaglia (Robert Forster) beginning with his hazardous birth and all the ins and outs of life in the Pesce household, from his father (Danny Aiello) losing his trucking business to a Mafia wise guy, right up to the point he lost his job as a teamster.

But all in all it’s a fairly ordinary life for a New Yorker so why after winning $6 million, is Frankie so disconsolate?

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 14

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the Crescent

Not a creature was stirring not even a peasant

But that in itself is not uncommon to see

When you live in a gated community

ARE YOU WEARING BLUE TINSEL?

 

Are you wearing blue tinsel?

Tied amidst your lustrous curls

Not a festive hue and yet

You have it amidst the curls

So is it a statement or was it

The only colour you could get

WHEN HE ONLY RECEIVED BATTERIES

 

When he only received batteries

His enthusiasm was muted

But there was a handwritten note

Which read “Toys not included”

Sunday 12 December 2021

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – PRANCER RETURNS

 

The teenage Holton brothers live with their divorced mother, Denise (Stacy Edwards), in a rural town.

Ryan (Robert Clark) is the older brother, who hates the rural life and makes no secret of the fact and wants to go and live with their father, in Chicago.

The shy young Charlie (Gavin Fink) doesn’t understand his attitude, he is happy there even though he gets victimised by the bigger school kids'.

One day on the way home from school he finds two reindeer, one is dead who he believes to be one of Santa's team called Prancer, the other one is younger and Charlie thinks he is his son and heir, also called Prancer which he tries to hide at home and Ryan helps him which brings the brothers closer along the way.

Charlie believes that his Prancer is “the” Prancer from the towns’ legend and will take off and join Santa on Christmas Eve.

Unfortunately when Prancer gets out he bites evil vice-principal James Klock (Michael O'Keefe) and he wants the danger to the public put down.

But a rescue operation is mounted and then Charlie runs away with his protégé to the woods,

His mother Denise is unable to cope, but thankfully her ex-boyfriend, handyman Tom Sullivan (John Corbett), comes to the youngster's rescue in this engaging family film.

Watch out for the wonderful Jack Palance as Old Man Richards.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 13

 

Twas the night before Christmas

And all thru the dwelling

the fragrances of Christmas

Was all we were smelling

ARE YOU WEARING GREEN TINSEL?

 

Are you wearing green tinsel?

Tied around your lustrous curls

Like a goddess of the woods

Are you one of the “nature” girls?

A FAMOUS CHRISTMAS STORY

 

A famous Christmas Story

Contains a well-known character

Who died eating Macaroni

He’s the Ghost of Christmas pasta

Friday 10 December 2021

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – FIR CRAZY (2013)

 

Elise MacReynolds (Sarah Lancaster) is no fan of Christmas because as she grew up on a Christmas tree farm it meant every holiday was spent selling Christmas trees on a cold street corner.

But when she loses her job and her dad breaks his leg, Elise agrees to run the family tree stand for one last season.

Unfortunately for Elise, the family business that has always hosted the MacReynolds' Farm tree lot has been acquired by home decor conglomerate “Brook Glen”.

Elise gets off on the wrong foot with surly Brook Glen CEO Gary Dixon (Colin Mochrie) when she almost knocks him down while unloading a big tree.

Gary thinks the trees are horrible for business and sets in motion a plan to get rid of the lot, for good, however despite her battles with Gary, Elise finds herself catching the holiday spirit as she helps the good citizens of New York City to find their one perfect tree:

Everyone from a couple with their first on the way, a professional basketball team, and a young boy picking out his first tree.

Christmas also proves to be the season for romance when charming repeat customer Darren Foster (Eric Johnson) admits he's been buying trees simply in the hopes of talking to Elise.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 12

 

Twas the night before Christmas

And all thru the bungalow

not a creature was stirring

In the firelight glow

ARE YOU WEARING RED TINSEL?

 

Are you wearing red tinsel?

Tied amidst your lustrous curls

Red can be a devilish colour

So are you a devilish kind of girl?

EATING CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS

 

Eating Christmas decorations

Caused something of a crisis

With a sore throat and a fever

Ending with a case of Tinselitis

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – MERRY MIX UP (2013)

Shop owner Alice Chapman (Alicia Witt) is a beautiful woman who recently became engaged to go-getter businessman Will Mitchum (Scott Gibson).

When she travels to meet her future in-laws for the first time before Christmas, she is very nervous because she is arriving ahead of her new fiancé.

Alice's trip becomes more stressful when her luggage is lost and her phone is damaged, and chaos ensues as she loses contact with Will.

But then she runs into, who she believes to be Will's brother, and starts the Christmas celebrations with the wrong family.

But is this just a silly Merry mix up, or is it the fates with a message for Alice. 

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 11

 

Twas the night before Christmas

And all around the Crescent

Not a creature was stirring

Not even a peasant

ARE YOU WEARING GOLDEN TINSEL?

 

Are you wearing Golden tinsel?

Tied amidst your lustrous curls

It makes you look so beautiful

And more like an angel than a girl

CHRISTMAS EVE IN THE KENNELS

 

It was Christmas Eve in the kennels

And all the canines were all agog

They all made merry all night long

Finishing by singing Fleas Navi Dog

 

Thursday 9 December 2021

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – LAST CHANCE CHRISTMAS

 A smart, sassy, 34-year-old Kristin (Shiri Appleby), who is estranged from her family and alone on Christmas Eve goes to sleep alone on Christmas Eve and wakes up Christmas morning seventeen years into her past to relive the worst Christmas of her life.

So once she gets over the initial shock she realises she has an opportunity to change her imperfect past, so she styles herself as an older mentor to her younger self (Hannah Marks)

Paramount to these changes is mending the broken relationship with her mother (Elizabeth Mitchell), something that seems impossible.

But if she can’t fix her past then maybe she could do something about her less than perfect future.

The film has an altogether credible cast that makes this film well worth watching if for no other reason than that.

But the story is excellent and well-structured and although the main target audience of this family safe Christmas movie will be women past their teens, men should not be put off by that because it’s very good.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 10

 

Twas the night before Christmas and Santa was pissed,

He was so drunk in fact he couldn’t read the list

So the toys for the nice kids never left the north pole

And they all ended up with a big piece of coal

ARE YOU WEARING SILVER TINSEL?

 

Are you wearing Silver tinsel?

Tied amidst your lustrous curls

It makes you look so beautiful

And more like an angel than a girl

DIFFERENCES # 3

 

The difference between Santa Claus

And a serial philanderer, as it goes

Is in essence a total lack of self-control

Because Santa stopped at three ho’s

Wednesday 8 December 2021

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE PRESENT (2015)

 

A journalist whose life was deeply impacted by a Secret Santa gift that she received when she was 10 years old sets out to discover who anonymously gave it to her, but ends up finding a lot more along the way.

The Christmas Gift is a story built around Megan (Rylan Lee), a beautiful 10-year old girl who received a gift through Secret Santa and not only is she impressed by the gift, she treasures it, because it came at a time in her life when she really needed it.

As time passes, she never forgets the gift, and she never forgets the face of the little boy whose photo was attached to the shoe box it was packed in.

After almost 10 years, Megan (Michelle Trachtenberg), who is now a journalist, makes it her mission to find out the location of the little boy who touched her heart so many years earlier.

When she decides to approach the editor with an idea for the perfect holiday story to find her “Secret Santa”, Megan’s life changes in a way she never expects after finding him.

This is the perfect uplifting holiday movie about giving, sharing, and finding love in the most unexpected places in this case with Wesley Hardin Johnson Jr (Sterling Sulieman) her Secret Santa.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 9

 

Twas the night before Christmas and at the North Pole

Some of the elves will be signing on the dole

There was a bit of a cock up with the naughty and nice list

When the elves in dispatch all got totally pissed

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS EARRINGS?

Are you wearing Christmas earrings?

They’re really quite adorable

Would it be inappropriate to say?

That I really like your baubles 

I DON’T WANT A CHRISTMAS GIFT

 

I don’t want a Christmas gift

That’s very practical

Nor a homemade present

Or something musical

Not an article for wearing

Nothing thoughtful or twee

No items for the garden

Or anything scented fragrantly

And nothing so expensive that

The value is shocking

I just want something shapely

In a Christmas stocking

Tuesday 7 December 2021

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A CHRISTMAS CAROL (1938)

Reginald Owen stars as miser Ebenezer Scrooge in this quality retelling of Charles Dickens' “A Christmas Carol”.

The classic tale in which he is taught the true meaning of Christmas by three Spirits who visit him, revealing to him the truth about his own miserable existence, what opportunities he wasted in his youth, his current catalogue of cruelties, and the dire fate that awaits him if he does not change his ways.

Scrooge is faced with his own story of growing bitterness and meanness, and must decide what his own future will hold, death or redemption.

The Spirits are played by Ann Rutherford (Past), Lionel Braham (Present) and D'Arcy Corrigan (Future)

The other key characters and portrayed by Leo G. Carroll (Marley), Lynne Carver (Bess), Gene Lockhart and Kathleen Lockhart (The Cratchit’s), Terry Kilburn (Tiny Tim), Forrester Harvey (Fezziwig), Barry MacKay (Fred) and Ira Stevens (Fan). 

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 8

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the abode

Came the rancid smell like an un-emptied commode

It made your eyes water to be perfectly crude

Wow this baby needs to start eating solid food

ARE YOU WEARING STRIPY STOCKINGS?

 

Are you wearing stripy stockings?

It must be that time of the year again

I know you think they’re cute, but

Your legs look like candy canes

RUDOLPH GOT AN F

 

Rudolph got an F in his exam

Which was a mystery

But after his paper was remarked

He went down in History

Sunday 5 December 2021

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A HOLIDAY FOR LOVE (1996)

Executive Jacob (Jake) Peterson (Tim Matheson) is sent to a small town to assess which of the workers in the local tractor factory, on which the town relies on as the chief source of employment, should be laid off when the planned downsizing begins.

However he gets side tracked when he falls in love with a local single mom Emma Murphy (Melissa Gilbert) which her daughter Noelle (Michelle Trachtenberg) encourages.

But is there any future in their relationship if he does what he was sent to the town to do?


TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 7

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the Hotel

There were creatures emitting a terrible smell

And the cause of the awful pungent aroma

Was an octogenarian party from Cromer

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS ANKLE SOCKS?

 

Are you wearing Christmas ankle socks?

I’ve often pictured them on you

And you don’t need anything else

Just wearing the socks will do

TWO SNOWMEN WERE STOOD IN A FIELD

 

Two snowmen were stood in a field

In one of those cold exposed spots

When one turned to the other and said,

Am I the only one who can smell Carrots?

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – MY CHRISTMAS PONY

 

A successful romance writer suffering from writers block, Karen (Krista Allen) and her daughter Juliet (Nadine Crocker) travel from New York out to the country after the death of Karen’s father, in order to settle his affairs and sell his ranch, but it soon becomes apparent that it’s not going to be that simple as family friend and executor of the estate Judge Lawrence (Buck Taylor) informs her that a local rancher she was in love with 20 years earlier, Hugh (Tim Abell) had a claim to half the ranch.

Meanwhile Juliet meets a special horse called Rodeo and a young cowboy named Monty (Zeb Halsell), who just happens to be Hugh’s nephew, and in addition to falling in love with her he also teaches her to barrel race, in the hope that she might win $5000 in a completion that would allow her to keep the horse.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 6

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the castle

Not a soul was stirring not even the rascal

And the reason for all the silence within

Was an over indulgence of wine and gin

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS SOCKS?

 

Are you wearing Christmas socks?

Beneath your skirt it’s hard to see

And gives me pause to think

How high they go above the knee

SANTA HAS HIS WORKSHOP

 

Santa has his workshop

Up in Lapland

But the Sleeping Reindeer

Go to napland

Saturday 4 December 2021

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CHRISTMAS CAROL (2016)

 

Single parent Carol Montgomery (Anne Heche) lives with her son Bryan (Sean Michael Kyer) and is the undisputed Queen of Christmas and she organised every aspect of the holiday, but all that changed when another single parent Terry Evans (Dylan Neal) and his daughter Amelia (Farryn Van Humbeck) move to the town and he is a breath of fresh air and offers an alternative view of the plans and Carol and Terry battle for control of the Christmas holiday at the middle school that their children attend and learn a lesson about the true meaning of Christmas.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 5

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the castle

Not a soul was stirring not even the rascal

And when the king returned from merrymaking

No one was awake to let him back in

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS SLIPPERS?

 

Are you wearing Christmas slippers?

They look very cute it must be said

But I think they’d look much cuter

If I was to see them under my bed

IF AN ELF IS WEARING EARMUFFS

 

If an Elf is wearing earmuffs

Call him anything you choose

Safe in the happy knowledge

That he can’t possibly hear you

Friday 3 December 2021

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – ONE CHRISTMAS

 

Based on an autobiographical short story by Truman Capote, this story is about Buddy (T.J. Lowther), an 8-year old boy who leaves Alabama in 1930 to go and live with his father (Henry Winkler) in New Orleans, and has a terrible time while he is there.
His father is a con man trying to raise money for his latest get rich quick scheme and prays on wealthy middle-aged women flattering his way into their cheque books and one of those frustrating his plans is matriarch Cornelia Beaumont (Katharine Hepburn) and as he faces one setback after another there is an uneasy relationship between father and son.

Henry Winkler puts in a fine dramatic performance, as he ranged from loving father, to con man, to angry and misunderstood outsider, Katharine Hepburn is a touch of class in her final performance and a brief appearance from Julie Harris is a glimmer of light.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 4

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the cottage

Was silence with the owners at home in Peas Pottage

So under cover of darkness at a very late hour

The cottage was torched by the Sons of Glendower

ARE YOU WEARING TINSEL?

 

Are you wearing tinsel?

Draped about your figure

Like a festive feather boa

Just covering your treasure

How seductive you appear

A little package of pleasure

You dance and prance

So full of vim and vigour

Now let me pull the tinsel

Then you can pull my trigger