When Christmas Wears It’s Tinseled Gown: March 2023

Wednesday 29 March 2023

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE GREAT HOLIDAY BAKE WAR (2022)

Julian and Brianna (Finesse Mitchell and LeToya Luckett) were rivals at the same culinary school and when they meet several years later on a TV Baking Contest, sparks fly, amongst other things.

Each of them have their own reasons for entering and specific plans for the prize money, Julian to build on the legacy of his mother Sophie (Arlene Duncan) and Brianna to fund the tuition fees for her daughter Willow (Naomi Sogbein).

However there proves to be more to the competition than they believed and as they work closely together it seems that there is also more to their protagonists than meets the eye.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CHRISTMAS ON THE SLOPES (2022)

Celebrity Chef Sophia Grewal (Soma Chhaya) suffers personal and professional disappointments after opening her third restaurant so decides to get away from it all and heads to a resort Hotel in Aspen.

Arriving between breakfast and lunch she wanders into the kitchen in search of a snatch where grumpy chef Ansel Vallée (Olivier Renaud) assumes her to be his new sous chef, she tries to correct him, but he wouldn’t listen so for some reason she decided to go along with it.

As they worked closely in preparation for a big celebrity wedding a closeness develops between them, but what will happen when the truth is inevitably revealed?

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – ONE DECEMBER NIGHT (2021)

Steve Bedford and Mike Sullivan (Bruce Campbell and Peter Gallagher) were once one of the biggest musical acts in the world until they broke up.

10 years later their children Jason Bedford (Brett Dalton) and Quinn Allan (Eloise Mumford) have to put their personal history aside while they oversee the televised reunion on a Christmas special on which they are expected to perform their biggest hit, "One December Night".

Sullivan only agreed to the reunion as he is likely to lose his home whereas Bedford is hiding a secret about his health.

There are many trials and tribulations in the preparations and in the process, Quinn and Jason start to fall for each other, but their happiness is dependent on the success of the show.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – SISTER SWAP 1 (2021)

Sisters Jennifer and Meg Swift (Kimberly Williams-Paisley and Ashley Williams) are incredibly close even though they live apart, widowed Jennifer in Salt Lake City with her son Simon (Jacob Buster) where she runs a popular restaurant.

Meg meanwhile remained in their hometown, Hazelwood, working at the family bakery.

But as the first Christmas, since the death of their Uncle Dave (Kevin Nealon), approaches things change.

Meg travels to the city to cover at the restaurant while Jennifer and Simon return to Hazelwood for the holiday.

Once they are home and experience the warmth of family and the joys of a hometown Christmas, they become obsessed with putting on one last Christmas screening at the Madison, Jennifer’s late Uncle's old, dilapidated movie theatre before it is sold.

However, its sorely in need of repair so she turns to her high school crush Eric Baker (Mark Deklin) and of course the nostalgia of the theatre and the magic of the holidays bring welcome romance.

Wednesday 8 March 2023

MY DAUGHTER WAS GIVEN A NOVELTY GIFT

My daughter was given a novelty gift

Which really wasn’t intended to confuse

But the look on her face was a picture

When she held a pair of chocolate shoes

RICHARD GURLEY DREW

Richard Gurley Drew invented sellotape

In order to help out a mechanic friend

I got his autobiography for Christmas but

I didn’t finish it as I couldn’t find the end

Sunday 5 March 2023

IF FROM ALL THE BEST CHRISTMAS SHOWS

If from all the best Christmas shows

I had to pick only five

For me it would be any Christmas show

By Morecambe and Wise

I AM THE UNBEATEN MASTER AT TRIVIAL PURSUIT

I am the unbeaten master at Trivial Pursuit

At the annual Christmas family sessions

But then I do have an advantage, because

We play with my original set of questions

BLACK CHRISTMAS

Now that the one I love is gone

The season has left me bitter

My heart has lost its soulmate

And Christmas has lost its glitter

REMEMBER, REMEMBER THE 26TH OF DECEMBER

Remember, Remember the 26th of December

The feast of Stephen is the day

Celebrated in a very special way

In the UK it’s known as Boxing Day

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CHRISTMAS AT THE MADISON: PART 1 (2021)

Meg meanwhile remained in their hometown, Hazelwood, working at the family bakery.

But as the first Christmas, since the death of their Uncle Dave (Kevin Nealon), approaches things change.

Meg travels to the city to cover at the restaurant while Jennifer and Simon return to Hazelwood for the holiday.

However, its sorely in need of repair so she turns to her high school crush Eric Baker (Mark Deklin) and of course the nostalgia of the theatre and the magic of the holidays bring welcome romance.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE CHRISTMAS SISTERS (1) (2021)

Meg meanwhile remained in their hometown, Hazelwood, working at the family bakery.

But as the first Christmas, since the death of their Uncle Dave (Kevin Nealon), approaches things change.

Meg travels to the city to cover at the restaurant while Jennifer and Simon return to Hazelwood for the holiday.

However, its sorely in need of repair so she turns to her high school crush Eric Baker (Mark Deklin) and of course the nostalgia of the theatre and the magic of the holidays bring welcome romance.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – SISTER SWAP: A HOMETOWN HOLIDAY (2021)

Meg meanwhile remained in their hometown, Hazelwood, working at the family bakery.

But as the first Christmas, since the death of their Uncle Dave (Kevin Nealon), approaches things change.

Meg travels to the city to cover at the restaurant while Jennifer and Simon return to Hazelwood for the holiday.

However, its sorely in need of repair so she turns to her high school crush Eric Baker (Mark Deklin) and of course the nostalgia of the theatre and the magic of the holidays bring welcome romance.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – AN UNEXPECTED CHRISTMAS (2021)

Just before Christmas Emily (Bethany Joy Lenz) is sent to the hometown of her ex-boyfriend Jamie (Tyler Hynes) by her ad agency, and the first person she meets when she arrives at the train station is her ex, and some of his family.

The problem is he has neglected to tell them that they had broken up so they take her back to the house where Jamie convinces her to pretend they're still a couple to avoid ruining Christmas for his family.

As they engage in the family's holiday activities together, they discover their relationship might not be over, resulting in a very unexpected Christmas.

Saturday 4 March 2023

IN AUCKLAND NEW ZEALAND

In Auckland New Zealand

They don’t say Happy Christmas

As it’s built on a strip of land

So instead they say Merry Isthmus

MY WIFE WAS IN THE KITCHEN

My wife was in the kitchen

And I went in to take a look

While she cooked the goose

Just before I goosed the cook

REMEMBER, REMEMBER THE 21ST OF DECEMBER

Remember, Remember the 21st of December

St Thomas the apostle is about

Because that is the special day

When St Thomas is without a doubt

TO MAINTAIN A HIGH FIBRE DIET

To maintain a high fibre diet

During the Christmas festivities

We are urged not to eat deserts

And instead eat the Christmas trees

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – SISTER SWAP 2 (2021)

Meg meanwhile remained in their hometown, Hazelwood, working at the family bakery.

But as the first Christmas, since the death of their Uncle Dave (Kevin Nealon), approaches things change.

Jennifer and Simon return to Hazelwood for the holiday while Meg travels to the city to cover at the restaurant in Salt Lake City and help the staff prepare for a Christmas competition, in which the winner earns money for the charity of their choice.

Manager Joe (Keith D. Robinson) is heavily involved with a food bank charity and shares his passion for it with Meg and in return she exposes him to Christmas joy in a way he has never experienced before.

Along the way she finds a new sense of purpose in her life and finds the love she has been searching for.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CHRISTMAS AT THE MADISON: PART 2 (2021)

Meg meanwhile remained in their hometown, Hazelwood, working at the family bakery.

But as the first Christmas, since the death of their Uncle Dave (Kevin Nealon), approaches things change.

Along the way she finds a new sense of purpose in her life and finds the love she has been searching for.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE CHRISTMAS SISTERS (2) (2021)

Meg meanwhile remained in their hometown, Hazelwood, working at the family bakery.

But as the first Christmas, since the death of their Uncle Dave (Kevin Nealon), approaches things change.

Along the way she finds a new sense of purpose in her life and finds the love she has been searching for.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – SISTER SWAP: CHRISTMAS IN THE CITY (2021)

Meg meanwhile remained in their hometown, Hazelwood, working at the family bakery.

But as the first Christmas, since the death of their Uncle Dave (Kevin Nealon), approaches things change.

Along the way she finds a new sense of purpose in her life and finds the love she has been searching for.

REMEMBER, REMEMBER THE 13TH OF DECEMBER

Remember, Remember the 13th of December

And put your lighted candles out

Because that is the very special day

And light is what St Lucy is all about

HOLLY DEAREST

Icicles hang from the gutters

All on the landscape is still

Ice crystals pattern the glass

Snow stands deep on the sill

Curtains drawn against the dark

As a fire roars in the hearth

While my darling lays in my arms

And love burns hot in my heart

RADIANT LIGHT OF THE WORLD

Radiant light of the world

Oh most divine child of love

Joyous redeemer

THE THREE WISE MEN WERE LATE TO THE NATIVITY

The three wise men were late to the nativity

However not because they had travelled very far

But because one of them was an astronomer

And endlessly wittered on about the bloody star

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – UNDER THE CHRISTMAS TREE (2021)

Tree whisperer Charlie Freemont (Tattiawna Jones) is searching for the perfect Christmas tree for the Governor of Georgia for the lighting ceremony and she finds it in Camden, Maine, in the back yard of Alma Beltran (Elise Bauman).

Alma’s mom and dad (Wendy Crewson and Enrico Colantoni) a year-round Christmas holiday store that's been in the family for over 100 years, which Alma is about to take over.

When Charlie and Alma first meet there is an immediate attraction, but Alma doesn’t want to sell the tree, so Charlie is forced to stay in town to try and change her mind.

But in the end its Christmas magic and Holiday love that keeps her in Camden.

THE THREE WISE MEN WERE LATE TO THE NATIVITY

The three wise men were late to the nativity

However not because they had travelled very far

But because one of them was an astronomer

And endlessly wittered on about the bloody star

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – UNDER THE CHRISTMAS TREE (2021)

Alma’s mom and dad (Wendy Crewson and Enrico Colantoni) a year-round Christmas holiday store that's been in the family for over 100 years, which Alma is about to take over.

When Charlie and Alma first meet there is an immediate attraction, but Alma doesn’t want to sell the tree, so Charlie is forced to stay in town to try and change her mind.

But in the end its Christmas magic and Holiday love that keeps her in Camden.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CHRISTMAS WITH THE DARLINGS (2020)

Jessica Lew (Katrina Law) is a trusted Executive Assistant to successful family business CEO Charles Darlington (Steve Bacic) of Darlington Industries.

Just before Christmas Charles is scheduled to head off to Europe for a business trip at the same time his orphaned nieces Emma and Abby (Islie Hirvonen and Madeline Hirvonen) and nephew J Henry (Anthony Bolognese) are arriving from Australia.

So, he asks Jess to give up her well-deserved Christmas break to help his playboy brother Max (Carlo Marks) entertain the children while he is away.

Jess and Max have very different styles as the two of them look after and entertain the children, she’s all about lists and plans and he’s all about fun, but what they do agree on is how delightful the children are.

But as they do all the traditional Christmas things Jess discovers that his irresponsible playboy reputation is undeserved, and he has more substance and character than he is given credit for, and they inevitably fall in love.

SHOOTING A PRIZE TURKEY

Shooting a prize Turkey, with bullets

Of sage and onion, was his crime

He claimed that he was attempting

To kill it and stuff it at the same time

UNDER THE CHRISTMAS SKY

Under the Christmas sky

Their breath plumed

In the frost filled air

And the night sky

Sparkled with stars

Like diamonds sewn

To the curtain of night

And they both sighed

Beneath its majesty

And felt so blessed

To be in love beneath

Such a Christmas sky

THE ROOM WAS FULL OF CHRISTMAS

The room was full of Christmas,

Steeped in the essence of the season,

Fragranced with Apple and Cinnamon,

And decorated in festive livery

Fresh cut garlands of evergreens,

Tinsel, candles and coloured lights

And on the peaceful Holy night

With the velvet drapes pulled shut

Against the bitter cold of winter

A perfect couple held each other

In the soft warm glow of firelight

And the cosy room was full of love

WHILE THE FAMILY SLUMBER

Myriad snowflakes fall

Flakes, infinite in number

Crystals of purest white

Settle while we slumber

Early the next morning

In the gloomy light

A pure white blanket

Was greeted with delight

The kids were excited but

The presents took their focus

For their parents it was magical

To have a White Christmas

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A GOSPEL CHRISTMAS (2021)

Young assistant pastor Olivia (Demetria McKinney) is sent to Texas a month before Christmas to lead her own church by her parents, Pastor Etta Richard (Regina Belle) and Dr. Clifford Richard (Darryl W. Handy) and gets a mixed reception but with the support and love of Ashton (Chaz Lamar Shepherd) she finds her confidence, her voice and love.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – KIRK FRANKLIN'S A GOSPEL CHRISTMAS (2021)

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – COUNTRY ROADS CHRISTMAS (2022)

Skye (Lanie McAuley) loses her job at a record label in Nashville in the run up to Christmas and with no other prospects she accepts an offer from an acquaintance at another label, Ryan (Bo Yokely), to manage her estranged father Harris (Bailey Chase) on his Christmas tour.

It is a rollercoaster of a journey and requires patience and fortitude and the help of her mother (Lauren Holly) her best friend Tiffany (Anita Yung) and of course Ryan with whom she finds love along the way.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – MY CHRISTMAS FAMILY TREE (2021)

Having grown up in the foster care system after the death of her mother at the age of 9, New York City social worker Vanessa Hall (Aimee Teegarden) has no living relatives, or so she believed, but then she receives the results from her Family Tree DNA test.

Vanessa learns that there is a positive paternity test and that her biological father is Richard Hendricks (James Tupper), who is alive and well living only an hour's drive away in Barrington, Connecticut with his wife Pauline Kendall Cross and their three adolescent children, Caitlin Ava Telek, Aidan (Colby McClendon), and Emilia (Georgia Mae Orchard).

After the two meet and talk, she is invited to spend a few days with them, to get to know them before she meets the extended family on Christmas Eve, so she accepts and Richard arranges for family friend, Kris (Andrew W. Walker), to give her a lift.

After some initial unease on both sides, Vanessa and the family make an emotional connection, and she and Kris make a different kind of connection.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A GINGERBREAD CHRISTMAS (2022)

Having missed out on a permanent position in New York, Hazel Stanley (Tiya Sircar) travels to her home in Chicago to spend Christmas with her father, Ted (Sugith Varughese) and finds the family bakery in a bad state of repair and in financial trouble.

She also discovers that her father has hired a new baker James Meadows (Marc Bendavid) who is also doing some of the repairs and they do not have the smoothest of beginnings.

The biggest shock however was finding out that the bakery across the road taking all of their business was owned by her former best friend Shelby (Kyana Teresa).

The only solution to their financial problems and to keep the bakery operating, was to enter a gingerbread baking contest offering $100,000 prize.

As they prepare romance blossoms between Hazel and James although some misunderstandings threaten to keep them apart and an unlikely partnership is needed for the competition.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CHRISTMAS IS YOU (2021)

Rachel (Carmel Amit), the boss at Kemp Street Management sends Emma Bloom (Becca Tobin) to her hometown to convince famous pop star Tyler Thorn (Matthew MacCaull) to sign with their agency after discovering that they were high school sweethearts.

Tyler had already headed home to Vermont, after firing his manager, to spend Christmas with his family for the first time in years.

When Tyler and Emma meet there is an instant chemistry between them, but they are immediately caught up in the collective effort to save the annual Christmas Carol Celebration so there never seems to be the perfect moment for her to make her pitch.

The longer it went unsaid, the more difficult it seemed to be, but will a trip down Memory Lane allow Emma to finally admit her feelings for Tyler.

HE STOOD IN THE COLD CRISP NIGHT

He stood in the cold crisp night

Beneath the moon and the stars

And looked at the majestic vista

Imagining such a perfect night sky

Two thousand years before

THE GRINCH AND THE ELF

When love was taken from him

He was left bereft, and his heart stopped

And his world was transformed

To a place of ice and snow

Where his cold heart,

Once over flowing with love,

Froze solid in his chest.

So he came to like the winter

With its long cold nights

And short dismal days

He found comfort in the season

And its bitter unfriendly ways

Only Christmas spoiled it for him,

Disrupting his misery,

With its joyous music,

Gaily decorated shops,

And of course, its joviality

But then one day out of the blue

As he tried to avoid the jollity

It happened, his heart began to thaw

All because of an Elf

Or to be more precise

A girl in the green tights, pointy shoes,

Brightly coloured tunic and a cute hat

All it took was one smile

For the connection to be made

And she had him body and soul

Although he was unaware

It was a mutual attraction

Because she didn’t show her hand

And played hard to get

She wanted him, but she made him work

To win her, to pursue her

To prove that he was worthy

So it wasn’t until Christmas Eve

That the Elf yielded to the Grinch

And they kissed by the light of the moon

Before attending midnight mass

MY PRETTY LITTLE MISS

The first time I met

My pretty little Miss

We needed mistletoe

To share a Christmas Kiss

Now when I meet

With my pretty Miss

We need no artificial aid

For us to share a kiss

And when we meet

And we share a kiss

Every day is Christmas

For me and my little Miss

UNDER THE CHRISTMAS MOON

Moonlight glinted

On the frozen land

Of the silent vale

Dressed crisply

In winters cloak.

A shooting star

Flashed across the sky

And I made a wish

Nothing profound

Just a simple thing

But immensely special

Because I wished

For a Christmas kiss

With the girl I loved

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CRANBERRY CHRISTMAS (2020)

In Bristol, Maine, third-generation cranberry farmer, Gabe Powell (Benjamin Ayres) and his wife Dawn (Nikki Deloach) co-founded, own and operate the “all things Christmas” Cranberry Lane Company.

Unfortunately, Gabe is all about the “hands on” work on the farm, whereas Dawn is more interested in the marketing and promotional work, so he stays on the farm, and she is increasingly away on the road, so they are to all intents and purposes, separated, and as Christmas approaches, they are contemplating breaking up.

However due to a failure to communicate both of them assume the other is too busy to organize this year's annual Christmas Cranberry Festival, so they are there together, so people assume they are “together”.

Things are further complicated by the arrival of Pamela Franks (Marci T. House), who owns her own lifestyle show who wants to cover the festival for her show, focusing on the happily married couple behind Cranberry Lane.

The agree because of the great exposure for the festival and the town.

But as they pretend for the cameras and for Pamela, Dawn and Gabe may actually discover that they are the happy couple they are pretending to be.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A MERRY BERRY CHRISTMAS (2020)

In Bristol, Maine, third-generation cranberry farmer, Gabe Powell (Benjamin Ayres) and his wife Dawn (Nikki Deloach) co-founded, own and operate the “all things Christmas” Cranberry Lane Company.

The agree because of the great exposure for the festival and the town.

But as they pretend for the cameras and for Pamela, Dawn and Gabe may actually discover that they are the happy couple they are pretending to be.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A GODWINK CHRISTMAS: FIRST LOVES, SECOND CHANCES (2020)

After 15 years in Hawaii single father Pat Godfrey (Sam Page) returns to Boise, Idaho, after selling his outdoor-adventure business, with his two sons John and PJ (Rhys Slack and Knox Hamilton) to live with his mum (Michele Scarabelli).

Almost as soon as he arrives, he runs into his high school sweetheart Margie Southworth (Brooke D'Orsay) who remained in Boise when he went to Hawaii and through a series of coincidences, or Godwinks, their paths continue to cross again and again and again.

Despite the universe dropping hints, Singleton Margie, who is still working at the same Company as she did before Pat left, has other concerns on her mind than revisiting an old romance, while the first priority for divorcee Pat is to find a job regardless of where it might be.

Eventually the Godwinks telling them they are meant to be together they begin to listen to their hearts.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A DOG NAMED CHRISTMAS (2009)

20-year-old Todd McCray (Noel Fisher) is developmentally challenged but has a genuine affinity with animals of every kind.

So, when he hears on the radio that the animal shelter is looking for people to foster a dog during Christmas, he is eager to sign up.

His mom Mary Ann (Linda Emond) sees no problem but his dad, George (Bruce Greenwood) takes a little more convincing, but he eventually agrees.

Todd chooses a friendly nameless yellow lab who he calls “Christmas”.

Not content with that however he launches a campaign to get all the dogs fostered and succeeds.

But will he have as much luck convincing his dad to keep the Dog after the holidays?

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS SPATS?

Are you wearing Christmas spats?

Well I don’t like them much

But I have to admit that the motif

Of holly is a very nice touch

I TOOK THE GRANDCHILDREN TO THE THEATRE

I took the grandchildren to the theatre

To watch the new pantomime Aladdin

I knew it wasn’t going to be very good

As they refunded my money on the way in

WHEN GINGERBREAD MEN SLEEP

When a gingerbread man lays

On his bed Perchance to sleep

He does so every single night

Laying down on a cookie sheet