Sunday, 5 February 2017

Tales from the Finchbottom Vale – (24) A Curious St Stephens Day

(Part 01)

Edward Carlisle and his brother George shared a flat in Jubilee Court, in Sharpington, they were twins, though not identical.
George was tall and blonde while Edward was shorter and darker.
In fact the only things they had in common were blue eyes and a surname.
In every other way they differed and the best way to sum them up would be to say that Edward had a heart and a brain whereas George possessed neither.

On Boxing Day they were invited to their Parents house in Brocklington for the day so they set off from the flat just after breakfast and stopped briefly by the pier to pick up George’s girlfriend Emily Clive, and as they pulled up to the curb side Edward had mixed feelings about taking her with them.
Emily wore her unruly red hair tied in a kind of loose arrangement on top of her head which gave the impression that she was taller than she actually was which she liked because she was only 4 foot 11.
Her mode of dress could best be described as interesting and there was nothing that could be in any way considered to be subdued in her apparel.
Emily generally went for the Tomboy look which she managed to pull off very well.
On St Stephens Day she wore a white sweater beneath a garishly bright multi-coloured striped coat, Yellow skinny trousers and Red converse shoes and she was dripping with jewellery, she loved jewellery, and Edward loved her.
Which was the reason for his mixed feelings.
Emily had lovely laughing green eyes which narrowed when she smiled, which was often, and her smile illuminated her face and that morning was no exception.

There was a house full at the Carlisle’s and they had a great day at their mums but due to a mix up between him and George as to who the designated driver was, they both got pissed and had to stay the night.
This caused a bit of a reshuffle on the accommodation front due to their mother’s insistence that George and Emily sleep in separate rooms.
Not just because there mother was a good Christian woman but for the simple reason that she didn’t think George could be relied upon not to disgrace himself and ravish Emily under her roof.
Then she proceeded to question Edwards’s manhood by saying that she would trust him to behave if she was his girlfriend.
Little did she know that he would have ravished Emily at the drop of a hat if she’d let him.

The result of the reshuffle meant that Emily shared the spare room with Cousin Lily while Edward was forced to endure his brother’s constant snoring and farting as they each slept on a sofa in the lounge.
Edward found it difficult to drop off, partly because of George and his horrendous snoring but also because his head was full of images of George’s girlfriend.
After tossing and turning for about an hour his attempts to drop off were further frustrated by an acute need to pee so he got up and tiptoed his way upstairs to the loo and relieved himself.

(Part 02)

Edward was yawning as he left the bathroom and stepped back onto the landing not really paying attention to what he was doing and he subsequently bumped into Emily coming the other way, who pushed him back into the bathroom and planted a wet sensual kiss on his lips.
“We shouldn’t be doing this” he said coming up for air
“Why? You were enjoying it” Emily said and kissed him anew
“That’s not the point” he protested
“So you admit you were enjoying it” she said “so let’s do it again”
“We mustn’t” he insisted and opened some distance between them
“But it’s really nice” Emily said wistfully
“I know but we can’t be doing it anymore” he said indignantly
“I know you like me” she continued as she sat on the side of the bath
“I’ve seen you looking at me when you think no one’s looking”
“Ah” he exclaimed and sat on the loo.
Emily had been going out with George for about three months and Edward fell in love with her the instant he brought her home.
But the thought never crossed his mind to do anything about it, he had a strong moral compass and you didn’t do things like that, it wasn’t cricket, even if his brother didn’t deserve her.
So he just worshipped her from afar.
“I’m sorry” he said
“Why are you sorry?” she asked
“For being too weak” he replied “I had no right to fall for you”
“I don’t think you’re weak” Emily said “Far from it, a weak person wouldn’t have stopped me kissing them”
“Maybe” he conceded
“Your brother wouldn’t have stopped” Emily added
“I’m not my brother” he pointed out
“I realize that only too well” she said and stood up
“I’d better go, but this is for Christmas” she said and kissed him gently
“Merry Christmas”

He went back downstairs and tried to sleep but he found it even more difficult after his encounter with Emily than he did before.
“This is a real Christmas surprise” he thought as he lay wide awake with only his brothers snoring for company.
When George rolled over onto his side he let out a ripping fart which was followed a minute or so later by a cloud of noxious gas which drifted over him and was so foul he decided to leave the room and take sanctuary in the kitchen.

He walked out into the hall and turned towards the kitchen and just as he reached the kitchen door a voice from behind said
“Hello again”
He turned around to see Emily sitting on the stairs.
“Hi Emily” he said “Are you stalking me?”
“Would you mind?” she asked
“No comment, do you want a drink?” he said and went into the kitchen and Emily followed on behind.

He made the drinks and sat down at the table opposite her.
“So you can’t sleep either then” he said
“I’m afraid not”
“Something on your mind” he asked
“Something” she agreed but didn’t elaborate so he didn’t pursue it any further.
But after five minutes she asked
“Would you ask me out if I wasn’t spoken for?”
“If you weren’t going out with George I would ask you in a heartbeat”
He replied

(Part 03)

“Would you ask me out if I wasn’t spoken for?” Emily asked
“If you weren’t going out with George I would ask you in a heartbeat”
He replied
“Why?” Emily added
“Why would I ask you out?” he said
“Where do I start? your hair, your eyes, your smile, your laugh but most of all your heart”
Emily gave him a dazzling smile when he had finished his catalogue and said
“I’ve broken up with him”
“What?” he asked
“We broke up” she replied
“Last week”
“But why?”
“Well partly because he was shagging my friend Rosie” she replied “or my ex best friend Rosie I should say”
“Was he?” he asked in disbelief
“You didn’t know then?”
“No I didn’t, honestly” he said “he wouldn’t tell me something like that because he knows I’d disapprove”
“No, that’s because you are a better human being” she said proudly
“I don’t know about that” Edward said “What was the rest of the reason?”
“You said George and Rosie was only part of the reason”
“Oh yes I see” she said “well mostly I broke up with him because he wasn’t you”
Edward couldn’t believe his ears, did those words really come out of her mouth, it wasn’t possible that she was really attracted to him.
“So if you broke up with him last week why did you still come today?” he asked
“Because you’re here” she replied and walked around the table and sat on his lap and kissed him.
It was a long and lingering kiss and when it was over he enjoyed it so much he was feeling guilty.
“Does George know?”
“Yes” she said eager to resume
“So why didn’t he say something?” he asked “He’s crap at keeping secrets”
“Because I told him I’d cut his balls off if he did, especially if it spoiled my chances” she replied and kissed him again before he could speak anymore.
The prolonged kiss showed no sign of abating until a voice said
“What’s going on in here then?”
It was Cousin Lily who Emily was sharing the spare room with.
“She’s just wishing me a Happy Christmas?” Edward said
“Result” Lily remarked
She poured herself a glass of water and said
“I’ll leave you two alone”
“Good because I want to wish him a Happy New Year now” Emily replied
“I think that’s guaranteed” Edward said

They left his mums shortly after breakfast and had a clear run back to Sharpington.
Edward was driving and Emily rode shotgun while a rather fragile Feeling George lay snoring and farting on the back seat.
It was a very quiet and uneventful journey home with both of them lost in their own thoughts.
When they got back to Sharpington they had a quiet dozy day of television and slobbery at Emily’s parent’s bungalow on the sea front.
They were invited back to Brocklington for a New Year’s Eve party at his mum’s house but they decided on a different way to see the New Year in and retired early and made gentle tender love from one year to the next.

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