TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 18

 

Twas the night before Christmas,

And all through the abode

Only one creature was stirring,

But she was on the commode

BOXING DAY SPORT

 

Boxing Day is very popular

For Sport of all kinds in the UK 

But in our corner of the land

Trial Pursuit is order of the day

FAIRY TRADITION

 

One Christmas, a long time ago

Santa Claus was trying to prepare

For the biggest night of the year

But events left him in despair

 

A flu epidemic hit the North Pole

And decimated the Elves

And a shortage of helpers

Meant there were empty shelves

 

The reindeer were rebellious

And Rudolph’s nose was Normal

His parcel sack had a hole in it

And Mrs Claus was menopausal

 

As a result of all his trials

He was not in the best frame of mind

So when a Fairy approached him

With good intent and being kind

 

Who was carrying an evergreen

And the Fairy asked cheerfully
“Where would you like me to put

This lovely Christmas Tree?”

 

Because of his really bad mood

He answered her unseasonably

And thus began the tradition

Of a Fairy atop the Christmas tree

I DON’T WANT A LOT OF FANCY PRESENTS

 

I don’t want a lot of fancy presents

Tied with bows and ribbon curls

I only want one thing for Christmas

And that’s Santa's list of naughty girls

CHRISTMAS IS WHEN I TRY TO BE UNUSUALLY KIND

 

Christmas is when I try to be unusually kind

And compassionate to those around me

Not that I’m a good person, it’s just because

I don’t know who my Secret Santa will be

DO YOU KNOW WHY THE CHRISTMAS ALPHABET

 

Do you know why the Christmas alphabet

Is one letter short? Then I will happily tell

There are only twenty five letters in it

Because the Christmas alphabet has Noel

WHY DOESN'T SANTA HAVE ANY KIDS?

 

Why doesn't Santa have any kids?

Well it’s impossible for him see

As he only comes once a year

And he’s normally up a chimney