Christmas 2017 # 2

DO YOU KNOW WHY THE CHRISTMAS ALPHABET

Do you know why the Christmas alphabet
Is one letter short? Then I will happily tell
There are only twenty five letters in it
Because the Christmas alphabet has Noel

CHRISTMAS IS WHEN I TRY TO BE UNUSUALLY KIND

Christmas is when I try to be unusually kind
And compassionate to those around me
Not that I’m a good person, it’s just because
I don’t know who my Secret Santa will be

I DON’T WANT A LOT OF FANCY PRESENTS

I don’t want a lot of fancy presents
Tied with bows and ribbon curls
I only want one thing for Christmas
And that’s Santa's list of naughty girls

FAIRY TRADITION

One Christmas, a long time ago
Santa Claus was trying to prepare
For the biggest night of the year
But events left him in despair

A flu epidemic hit the North Pole
And decimated the Elves
And a shortage of helpers
Meant there were empty shelves

The reindeer were rebellious
And Rudolph’s nose was Normal
His parcel sack had a hole in it
And Mrs Claus was menopausal

As a result of all his trials
He was not in the best frame of mind
So when a Fairy approached him
With good intent and being kind

Who was carrying an evergreen
And the Fairy asked cheerfully
“Where would you like me to put
This lovely Christmas Tree?”

Because of his really bad mood
He answered her unseasonably
And thus began the tradition
Of a Fairy atop the Christmas tree

BOXING DAY SPORT

Boxing Day is very popular
For Sport of all kinds in the UK
But in our corner of the land
Trial Pursuit is order of the day

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 18

Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the abode
Only one creature was stirring,
But she was on the commode

THERE IS AN OLD SAYING

There is an old saying
Which we now tend to disregard
Which goes “a green Christmas
Makes for a fat churchyard”

ICE THAT WILL BEAR THE WEIGHT OF SANTA

Ice that will, before Christmas,
Bear the weight of Santa
Will not, according to folklore,
Bear the weight of an Elf after

I AM THE UNBEATEN MASTER AT TRIVIAL PURSUIT

I am the unbeaten master at Trivial Pursuit
At the annual Christmas family sessions
But then I do have an advantage, because
We play with my original set of questions

IF FROM ALL THE BEST CHRISTMAS SHOWS

If from all the best Christmas shows
I had to pick only five
For me it would be any Christmas show
By Morecambe and Wise

ARE YOU WEARING RED? # 1

Are you wearing red?
And standing at the foot of my bed
I hope that means you’re Santa
And not Jeremy Corbyn instead