TO KEEP TRACK OF FIREPLACES

 

To keep track of fireplaces

He has visited on his slog

Around the globe Santa

Claus has to keep a Log

YOUNG SNOWMEN

 

In the frozen north 

The snowmen

Call their offspring

Their Chill-dren

ALPHABETICAL CHRISTMAS

 

Do you know why the Christmas alphabet

Is one letter short? Then I will happily tell

There are only twenty-five letters in it

Because the Christmas alphabet has Noel

PEERING AT THE WINDOW

 

In the morning Santa stood

At the window to peer

And said to Mrs. Claus

“It looks like rein dear”

ADVENT CALENDARS ARE GOING OUT OF FASHION

 

Advent Calendars are going out of fashion

As their popularity is so encumbered

But in truth they’re going out of fashion

Because frankly their days are numbered

BROKEN DRUM

 

A broken drum is the best

Christmas gift you can get

That might surprise you

But you really can’t beat it

GINGERBREAD SLEEPERS

 

When gingerbread men lay

On their beds, Perchance to sleep

They do so every single night

Laying down on a cookie sheet

DASHER, DANCER AND PRANCER

 

Dasher, Dancer and Prancer

Are coffee loving schmucks

That’s why Santa calls them

His three great Star Bucks

CANDY CHRISTMAS TREE

 

On a Christmas Tree

Amidst all the Glints

The trees favourite

Candy is Orna Mints

NOT BEFUDDLED

 

Old snowmen

Don’t get befuddled

Old snowmen

Just become puddles

CHRISTMAS MUMMIES

 

Why do Mummies

Think Christmas is so apt

I think they love it

Because they get unwrapped

SANTAS GOOD AT KARATE

 

Santas good at Karate

At least I’ve always felt

I guess I thought that

Because he has a black belt

A SNOW MONSTER HAS A SIX PACK

A Snow monster has a six pack

After his core fitness plan

And the muscular monster is

The abdominable snowman 

AT THE NORTH POLE THEY DON’T PERMIT

 

At the North Pole they don’t permit

Elf’s to play a single gambling game

But one Elf played the lottery and won

I won’t say more but Welfy is his name

SIX FIGURES

I only made six figures last year

I shouldn’t brag but I can’t stop

But only six figures wasn’t enough

So, I was sacked from the workshop

OVER INDULGENTLY SAVOURED

 

There are many things at Christmas

Of which we over indulgently savour

So, we have to take Milk of Magnesia  

But it is Brandy buttered flavour

SNOWMEN FAST FOOD

 

Snowmen fast food

Is actually a thing

And the food of choice

Is a Berger King

TO THE SNOWMAN’S SCARF

 

To the snowman’s scarf

His hat simply said

You hang around

While I go on ahead.

FROSTY THE SNOWMAN!

 

Frosty the snowman

Was a cheery soul,

With a carrot nose

And dark eyes of coal

STAR WARS DAY

 

It’s may the 4th

Felicitations to you

Its Star Wars day

May the fourth be with you