December
Three months
had passed since Surrey Palmer and James Gordon had made love in his room at
the Abbottsford Regents Hotel and two days short of three months since she said
she wasn’t sure if they could be together.
Not that she
didn’t love him or enjoy being with him, and he could say without being
boastful that it wasn’t because she didn’t enjoy making love with him.
Nor did she
think that was a mistake, a moment of madness or because she had drunk too
much.
“I don’t regret
it for a second” she said as they lay entwined beneath the duvet “I just have
doubts”
Surrey just
wasn’t sure if she could or should give over her heart, soul and life to a man
12 years older than herself.
He couldn’t say
he wasn’t disappointed, and he wasn’t happy about it but nor was he angry with
her, in fact James agreed with her, to a point, and he wanted her to be sure as
much as she did.
After all he
had no words to convince a 29-year-old woman to give her life to a man the
wrong side of 40, and nor would he have wished to use them if they were in his
possession.
“I love you
Tom, but I just have to be certain sure” she said the moment before she drove
away, and it was heart-breaking to watch her drive away because he had no such
doubts.
For him that
first night together was the blissful culmination of eight years of hope and
desire, not just the love making but to hear his declaration of love returned
in word and delicious deed.
It had been
pretty much love at first sight for him, but then she was a beautiful sight to
behold, but for her it was a more gradual falling and one that she desperately
fought against tooth and claw whereas James simply surrendered to her.
Even before
their chance meeting at the Hotel Surrey had agreed to take a three-month
secondment in Abbeyvale where she could be close to her sister and her newborn
twins, so she suggested they take that time to think, and in that time she
would either get over him or know for certain sure he was the one.
While she was
away he convinced himself almost on a daily basis that it was over, and rightly
so he thought at times.
If the worst
came to the worst he consoled himself with the thought that he would always
have the memory of that wonderful weekend when his love for her was finally
validated.
In his darkest
moments he did question if it was a moment of madness that brought Surrey to
his bed, but he was glad for that madness if that’s what it was.
Though if
Surrey did resolve that it was a mistake and it was over I would at least have
the memory of that wonderful weekend to sustain him forever.
Personally, he
preferred to think it was fate that brought them together on that wonderful
weekend.
James would
have liked to have exchanged the occasional text or email with her, but Surrey
had asked for total separation.
All he could do
was throw himself into his work totally and fill his every waking moment with
thoughts of anything and everything that wasn’t her.
Impossible of
course, but if in the unlikely event that he could exclude her from his
thoughts he couldn’t stop her from invading his dreams, and when he slept he
dared to dream, so in the small hours of the sleepless night he resorted to the
only thing that prevented him from being driven insane.
He wrote in a
diary, he called it a dream diary, it was where he wrote every detail, every
thought that filled his troubled sleep nightly, thoughts of love for the girl
of his dreams, and the closer the end of the three months got, the more intense
the dreams became, and ever more vivid with each passing day.
It was the day
before Christmas Eve when he got the long-awaited phone call, and he took a
deep breath and hit the button.
“Hello, James
Gordon” he said
“Hey James” she
said
“Surrey?” he
asked “God it’s good to hear your voice”
“Ditto” Surrey
replied, “Where are you?”
“I’m in
Sharpington” he replied, “Are you still in Abbeyvale?”
“No, I’m back
home” she replied, “When are you back?”
“Tonight” he
replied
“Can we meet?”
Surrey asked
“Yes, of
course” he said, “Have you made a decision?”
“Yes, I have”
she replied
“And?” he
enquired trying to keep the anxiety out of his voice
“I don’t want
to say on the phone” she answered “I want to do it face to face”
“Ok” he said
not knowing if that meant it would be good or bad
“Come to the
house tonight” he said
“What time?”
she asked
“Around seven”
he replied “Let yourself in if I’m late; you know where the key is”
“Ok, I’ll see
you tonight then James” she said
“Ok, bye”
The journey out
of Sharpington was an absolute mare, made worse by a combination of Christmas
shopping traffic, roadworks and heavy snow and consequently he was late getting
home and it was nearly 8 o’clock when he reached Pepperstock Green and drove
onto his drive.
Since her phone
call his stomach had been in absolute knots and arriving home late didn’t
untangle it in the least.
The lights were
on in the house, so Surrey had let herself in he only hoped she was still there
and hadn’t got tired of waiting.
As he sat in
the pre-Christmas traffic he tried to ring her to warn her of his delay, but
his phone died.
So, James sat
on the drive trying to summon up the courage to go in, he was so desperate to
know her answer but equally terrified of what it might be, yes or no.
“Yes” meaning
she was sure, and she would give all of herself to him unreservedly
Or “No” and
they would never be together.
He reran the
earlier conversation in his head, over and over again and tried to read between
the lines to find some hidden meaning or some indication as to her decision,
but he was none the wiser.
He slowly
opened the front door and stepped in.
“Hi Surrey” he
called “I’m sorry I’m late, traffic was hell”
No answer, so
he supposed she must have got fed up with waiting after all.
“Shit” He
exclaimed and took off his coat, but as he hung it on the peg in the hall, he
noticed an unfamiliar coat already hanging there.
“She is here”
he said to himself, but where? Where was she exactly?
He hung his
coat on the peg and walked into the lounge and that’s when he knew.
He knew because
he saw the black stockings hanging from the mantel anchored beneath a Christmas
candle, so he knew where to find her, and stood on the mantel next to the
candle was a Christmas card; he opened it and read the words
“Happy
Christmas James, All my love, Surrey”
Beneath her
signature there appeared to be an abundance of the obligatory small x’s but on
closer examination each kiss was in fact the word “Yes” and so he had his
answer and his dreams were fulfilled.
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