My New Year’s resolution
And my reasoning is sound
And that is to get in shape,
In
the end, I chose round
Showing posts with label Happy New Year 2020. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Happy New Year 2020. Show all posts
Thursday 31 December 2020
MY NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION
Snippets of Downshire Life – Old Year’s Night
Downshire is a relatively small English county but that didn’t bother its inhabitants, they may not have been the biggest but they were in no doubt that it was the best.
And that belief was no more truer than in
the southern town off Abbottsford which was Downshire’s administrative capital
and the seat of the Downshire government.
It was also a place of learning thanks to
the Downshire University, it could also boast that it was a Cathedral City, was home to Abbottsford
Town football club and benefitted from the renowned Winston Churchill Hospital, and twin sisters
Ariadne and Scarlet Shakespeare were both nurses at the Churchill.
They were
identical twins, Ariadne was the older of the two by an hour and was five
foot eight with bobbed brunette hair and an olive complexion and hazel eyes.
Scarlet was two inches taller than her sister and had more hair.
The girls were both foot lose and fancy free and liked to
party and had no intrest in tying themselves down, but on the occasion of their
27th birthday, on New Year’s Eve, that all changed, when they met best
friends Marcus Birkin and Gareth
Clare.
Marcus and Gareth both worked for Bramstock, Goodman, Crossfield and Bushe
solicitors in Abbottsford, although they hailed from Turnoak-Under-Hawthorne,
a large rambling village, originally settled in the 12th century on
the sparsely wooded slopes on the Northern fringe of the Finchbottom Vale about
5 miles from Purplemere, and it was everything you would expect from a Downshire
Village.
The Birkin and Clare families had lived in the village for many years and
were of the landed gentry and the boys were public school and Cambidge educated.
Abbottsford was a world away from
Turnoak-Under-Hawthorne and socially the Shakespeare girls were a world away from
Marcus and Gareth and their meeting on New Year’s Eve was purely by chance.
The twins were travelling from home after getting
ready to party into the New Year, and the solicitors were in Marcus’s car
travelling in the opposite direction from work when the two vehicles collided.
It wasn’t serious just a bit of minor
damage, but Marcus had only had the car for a month so an angry exchange
between him and the cab driver ensued, which Gareth tried to cool, to no avail,
but when the two leggy drop
dead gorgeous brunette girls emerged from the Taxi, the two adversaries and the
peacemaker all went quiet.
They were both stunningly beautiful and
wearing low cut party outfits and when Marcus first saw the one with the bobbed
hair, he was smitten and the fender bender was no longer of any importance to
him, whereas Gareth felt the same about the tall one.
The taxi driver, who had been at fault for
the accident, took full advantage of the distraction and got in his cab and
sped away.
“Hey come back!” Ariadne shouted
“What are we going to do now?” Scarlet
asked as the Cab disappeared around a corner
“Don’t worry” Marcus said “We’ll get you
to your destination”
“You don’t know where we’re going” Ariadne
pointed out
“You could tell us and then we would”
Gareth said
“Problem solved then” Scarlet added and
gave her sister a look that said “just get in the car”
Ariadne complied because it was obvious
her sister fancied the drivers friend, and she thought the driver was ok, and
he was posh, and she liked posh.
They were on the way to a New Year’s Eve
Party at the Hospital, and by the time they got there the twins had persuaded
the guys to join them at the party rather than just drop them off and go their
separate ways, not that it took much persuading.
During the relatively short drive across
town the four passengers had come to the conclusion that they weren’t going to
accept any other outcome than to see the old year out together.
The Shakespeare’s were determined not to
let their chosen solicitor out of their sight and they in turn had resolved not
to let the girls out of view.
So they spend most of the night on the
dance floor and the time that they were not dancing they were at the bar, with
the exception of spending a penny.
At midnight, Scarlet was dancing with
Gareth to a slow number by James Blunt when the music was suddenly replaced by
the sound of Big Ben through the sound system.
“Happy New Year” Scarlet said and kissed
him before he could respond, and then he didn’t want to speak.
Ariadne looked across at her sister
kissing Gareth and then she looked at Marcus and thought “why aren’t we doing
that?”
She smiled at him as Big Ben continued to
sound, and he smiled back, but no kiss, “plenty of time, six bongs to go”.
Bong,
Bong,
Bong, and nothing happened so she said
“Have you seen what Scarlet and Gareth are
doing?”
He turned to look at the kissing couple
“Oh yes”
Bong,
“Can I ask you a question Gareth?”
“Of course”
Bong,
“Why aren’t we doing that?” she asked and
before the final bong he was kissing her.
As things turned out that night didn’t
just mark the end of the old year for the two couples it marked the end of
their old lives.
Snippets of Downshire Life – The New Year’s Resolution
The fortunes of Shallowfield on the edge of Dancingdean Forest, had always relied largely upon forestry and agriculture for its survival and in the post war years with rationing and a shortage of work a lot of people moved away, to Abbottsford, Abbeyvale and beyond and it barely survived, but by the 70s things were beginning to change, thanks mainly to tourism and an increase in leisure time, and the fortunes of the Sciberras family improved along with it.
Adam also
benefitted and everything in his life seemed to be perfect, a privileged
upbringing, public school and Oxbridge education, a place in the family
business, a luxurious house and a glamorous wife, but he blew it.
Apparently
having everything in life served to him on a silver platter wasn’t enough for
him as he decided he needed to have numerous meaningless relationships or more
precisely, one night stands, until he was finally caught.
So now he
was separated from his wife, estranged from his family, and reduced to stacking
shelves at the Shallowfield Village store for Anuruddha Gunasekara and living in a bed sitter above the Bengal Curry
House, and he’d never been happier, he had no responsibility, no pressures, and
no expectations.
He had
been cut off from his wealthy life style by his father in order to teach him a
lesson and he was expected to last a few days before he crawled back to the
family and begged for forgiveness, but he had been living his simple life for
three months and the thought of returning to his old life had never once
crossed his mind.
And that was before
“she” started coming into the shop a few weeks before Christmas, she was small
and fine featured with short brunette hair and a radiant smile, which he tried
desperately to ignore.
Since his spectacular
fall from grace he had chosen not to have any more dalliances, despite several
offers which he had rebuffed and he had not actively pursued anyone, or wanted
to for that matter.
She made it difficult
for him as she came into the shop every day, sometimes twice, and they always
exchanged polite conversation and a smile, but Adam tried to keep their
interaction to a minimum.
He did find out from
other members of staff that her name was Anona Rouet who lived “in” at the Shallowfield Lodge Hotel, on the edge
of Teardrop Lake, where she worked long hours as maid, receptionist,
waitress, chief cook and bottle washer, and Adam tried hard to be
disinterested.
As Adam was persona
non grata with his family he chose to work maximum hours at the shop throughout
Christmas to allow for those who did belong to functional families could feel
the benefit.
So he successfully
managed to maintain a healthy, yet polite distance between himself and Anona
all through December.
After closing the shop
on New Year’s Eve he thought he should reward himself with a beer before
turning in.
There were a glut of
pubs in Shallowfield and he had tried them all, there were three pubs at the
Teardrop Lake end of the village within five minutes’ walk of the shop, The
Woodman’s Axe, The Woodcutters Arms and The Foresters, and the names clearly
reflected Shallowfield’s dependence on forestry over the centuries, the pubs at
the other end of town had more of an agricultural flavour in their naming, The
Wheatsheaf, The Plough and the Farmers Tavern.
His favourite hostelry
was The Plough, but that was too far to walk and the end of a long day and
another one in prospect the next morning, so he decided very definitely to
restrict his choice to the forest end and plumped for The Woodcutters Arms and
was there with ten minutes to spare before the chimes and stood at the bar and
ordered a pint, and he was halfway down his pint when she appeared and as soon
as their eyes met they smiled.
“Hello” Anona said “This
is a nice surprise”
“Yes it is” he agreed
and was resigned to the fact that further resistance was futile.
“Can I get you a
drink?”
“I’m still working I’m
afraid” she replied “I get off at half 12, you can buy me one then”
She sat on the stool
next to his and he ordered her a drink.
“Large white wine
please” he said to the waiting barman.
“I’m glad you picked
this pub” she said “I suspect you would you have gone elsewhere if you’d known
I worked here”
“What makes you think
that?” he asked
“Because in the shop
you’ve always been…. Distant” she replied “or perhaps reluctant, would be more
accurate”
“Well my life has
tended to be a bit complicated” Adam said
“And you think I might
make it more so?” Anona asked
“Possibly”
“Well I can be very
uncomplicated” she said and leant in and kissed him.
In the early hours of
New Year’s Day Adam and Anona were at his bedsit and laying entwined in the afterglow
when she asked
“So what complications
are you concerned about?”
“The main one is that I’m
separated from my wife” he said
“Separated?”
“While in the process
of getting a divorce” he clarified
“I’m sorry, any
particular reason?” she asked and he laughed
“My infidelity”
“I see, singular or
multiple?”
“The latter” he
confessed
“So are you a lost
cause or is there some hope for a self-confessed adulterer?” she asked
“I don’t know how to
answer that” he said
“Well prior to us
meeting tonight did you make a New Year’s resolution?”
“I did” he replied
“What was it?” she
asked with interest
“I think I should keep
it to myself” he said
“Go on tell me” she
insisted and after a moments silence he replied
“Not to get involved with
women” He replied
As she climbed onto him
she asked
“How did that work out
for you?” Anona asked as she nibbled his ear
“And what if you were
to make one now, what would it be?” she asked
“Never to have another
one night stand” Adam replied
“This isn’t a very
auspicious start then” she pointed out
“Really? I thought
this was just our first date” he said and she kissed him
Snippets of Downshire Life – New Year’s Eve
Downshire is a relatively small English county but like a pocket battleship it packs a lot in, a short but beautiful coastline, a channel port, the Ancient forests of Dancingdean and Pepperstock, the craggy ridges and manmade lakes of the Pepperstock Hills National Park, the rolling hills of the Downshire Downs, the beautiful Finchbottom Vale and farm land as far as the eye can see from the Trotwood’s and the Grace’s in the south, to the home of the Downshire Light infantry, Nettlefield, and their affluent neighbour’s, Roespring and Tipton in the North and it’s in leafy Roespring where our story takes place on New Year’s Eve.
Quiet and thoughtful Fifty year old widow Matthew
Simpson was spending New Year’s Eve alone in his Victorian Cottage, for a
number of reasons, the first of which being that he wasn’t big on the whole New Year’s concept and it
wasn’t a time that held any deep significance for him.
Secondly he was
normally feeling more than a little jaded by the time it arrived and this year,
after overindulging quite spectacularly over Christmas, he was even more so.
But the final and most
significant reason was because he had lost his heart to someone who was, he was
sure, unlikely to return his love, as she had a younger much more attractive
man dancing attendance on her, and although he was due to attend the New Year’s
Eve Ball, where she would also be present, he declined the invitation as being
so close to her, especially in all her party splendour, would have been too
hard for him to bear.
The object of his
affection was Penelope Van Der Velden, also widowed, but she was three years
younger than he and she was bubbly and vivacious, so Matthew was resigned to
the fact that it was not to be, so he settled down to a quite evening on his
own.
He had his laptop to
hand and spent about an hour writing emails to friends and family, which he
left as drafts to send after Big Ben struck twelve.
The rest of the time
he watched TV and picked at any and all of the nibbles within reach of his
comfy chair.
By ten o’clock he was
a little bored with the New Year’s Eve offerings on TV and about an hour later
he decided to put on a DVD and was just returning to his chair when the
doorbell rang.
Matthew had no idea
who it might be, he certainly wasn’t expecting anyone.
When he opened the
door he was surprised to see the diminutive figure of Penelope Van Der Velden standing
on the doorstep in full evening wear and over her shoulder he could see a taxi
pulling away.
“Hello” he said with
genuine surprise
“Hello Darling” Penny
said, “Can I come in? It’s bloody freezing”
“Of course, of course”
he said fussily “come in, come in”
Once inside she
slipped off her stole and walked through to the lounge and he thought she
looked absolutely gorgeous in a full-length magenta evening dress.
“Lead me to the wine”
Penny said “I’m gasping”
He led the way to the
kitchen and opened the fridge and took out an open bottle of wine.
Then he took two large
wine glasses from the cupboard and filled them both generously then handed one
of them to her.
“Thank you darling”
she said and took a large slurp and then they proceeded to the lounge.
Matt followed her
along the hall and had another chance to admire her form encapsulated in her
evening dress.
As usual she was
perfectly accessorized with long elbow length gloves, and clutch purse
etcetera, and knowing what a classy lady she was he imagined her to be fully
accessorized under the dress as well.
“You’re a bit
overdressed for my humble abode” he observed.
“I know” Penny said as
she sat down “I was going to the New Year Ball but…”
“But?” he asked
“I couldn’t face
everyone quizzing me about Owen”
“About what?” he
quizzed, fearing the worst.
“He told everyone that
we were a couple, and very much in love” she replied, “and that we were moving
in together”
“And you’re not?” he
asked hopefully
“No we’re bloody not”
Penny said definitely “But people believed him, how could they think that, why
on earth would I do such a thing?”
“Well he’s a good looking man, a very athletic man”
Matt said
“Yes he is both of those” she agreed “but he’s also a
boy”
“He doesn’t look much
like a boy to me” he said
“None the less, he is”
she corrected him “It’s flattering of course, to have a young stud pay me some
attention, but a physical relationship with someone like that, on tap 24-7
would probably kill me”
Penny laughed at the
thought and then continued
“It would probably be
like Zumba and Pilates combined, and would send me to an early grave”
She was laughing again
while Matthew digested the information that there had been no physicality
between them.
“He did however open
my eyes and show me that I’m still an attractive woman, still a sexy woman”
“I could have told you
that” Matthew said a little to definitely, which didn’t go unnoticed by Penny
as she continued
“My husband didn’t
appreciate that, and I need to be with someone who sees me the way that you do”
Matt raised his
eyebrows and she laughed and then said
“I’m not just here
because I couldn’t face the Ball”
“Oh” he said and Penny
was giggling and blushing as she slipped out of her seat and knelt on the floor
in front of him, and when she had slipped her arms around his neck and kissed
him to the accompaniment of Big Ben chiming and Penny kissed him from one year
to the next.
Snippets of Downshire Life - New Year’s Day
Mornington-By-Mere is a small country village lying in the Finchbottom Vale nestled between the Ancient Dancingdean Forest and the rolling Pepperstock Hills.
It is a quaint picturesque village, a proper chocolate box picturesque
idyll, with a Manor House, 12th Century Church, a Coaching Inn,
Windmills, an Old Forge, a Schoolhouse, a River and a Mere.
In addition there were a number of cottages and small
houses on the Purplemere road and Dulcets Lane which form the part of
Mornington Village known as Manorside where Martin Carnell lived with his wife
Julie in a small two bedroom cottage on the banks of the River Brooke.
On New Year’s Day he
woke up annoyingly early, having had a disturbed night, as he was unable to
sleep, and the reason for that was a guilty conscience.
So he got up and left
Julie sleeping and went downstairs where he sat in the kitchen drinking coffee
and thinking about the source of his anxiety.
What was bothering him
was the simple fact that he had lied to his wife.
They had only been
married for a few months and up until that Christmas he had never done it
before, and in the space of a few days he had done it twice, and his deceit
hung heavy on his mind.
The first time was on
Boxing Day when he feigned a migraine to avoid driving to Childean to spend the
day with his parents and the second was on New Year’s Eve when he told her that
the car battery was flat so they couldn’t get to Shallowfield for a party at
her sister’s house.
Two totally different
lies but both motivated by the same thing and that was the desire two spend
every minute of their first Christmas and New Year on their own.
He quickly made a New
Year’s resolution to never lie to Julie again.
They were due to eat
New Year’s Day lunch at her parent’s house in Forestdean, which he didn’t want
to go to because he wanted to keep Julie all to himself, but he had no choice
he couldn’t lie again so at nine o’clock he stopped his ruminations and made
Julie a cup of tea.
Five minutes later, tea
mug in hand, he was on his way upstairs to wake his lovely wife when the phone
rang, so he stopped and did a U-turn and picked up the phone.
“Hello”
“Martin?” the voice
said “it’s Gordon”
Gordon was Julie’s
Dad.
“Hi Gordon, Happy New
Year” he said
“Yes Happy New Year”
he responded vaguely
“Is everything ok?”
Martin asked
“No” he replied, “not
at all, it’s Maggie”
Maggie was his wife,
“She’s been throwing
up most of the night, so we thought it best to cancel lunch as a precaution” he
continued “I’m sorry to let you down”
“Nonsense” Martin
said, as he punched the air, “These things happen”
“I suspect it’s been
brought on by two much rich food” Gordon elaborated “but just in case it is a
bug we have decided to quarantine ourselves”
Martin suspected it was
more likely brought on by too much Pinot but he didn’t say that, instead he
just said
“Very sensible”
After he had put down
the phone he continue his journey up the stairs to his sleeping wife.
After tiptoeing into
the room he put her tea on the bedside cabinet and slipped into bed beside her.
Once he was under the
covers he leant over and kissed her neck and as she stirred he cuddled up
behind her and began kissing her ear.
“We don’t have time
for that” she purred
“Oh I think we do” he
retorted and nibbled her lobe.
“No we don’t” she
reiterated “You’re forgetting about lunch at my parents”
“No I’m not, it’s been
cancelled” he told her and she rolled onto her back and gave him a suspicious
look
“Why?”
“Your mum’s throwing
up” Martin said “Your Dad thinks it might be a bug”
“It’s more likely too
much Pinot” Julie said and laughed, until her demeanour changed suddenly.
“So we don’t have to
get up and go out” she mused
“Correct” he agreed
“Oh goody” Julie said
and wrapped herself around him “We get to spend the whole day together just the
two of us”
“We do” he said and
kissed her
“And without
pretending to have a migraine or a flat battery” Julie added
“What?”
“You know perfectly
well what” she said
“You mean you knew all
along?” he asked
“Of course”
“So why didn’t you say
something?” Martyn asked
“Because I didn’t want
to go either” she admitted and kissed him passionately which lead to them
having a very late lunch at home.
I REMEMBER THE TIME IN MY YOUTH
I remember the time in my youth
When I was allowed to stay up late
On New Year’s Eve and I was thrilled
But now on that ominous date
As I have reached middle age
Being forced to participate is my
fate
NEW YEARS RESOLUTION # 3
I was divorced from my wife
Due to my serial infidelity
And found myself in bed
With a girl called Felicity
It was on New Year’s Day
When she asked me
“Did you make a resolution?
What was it? Go on tell me”
I replied “Not to be unfaithful
Ever again to my chosen mate”
“How’s that going?” she asked
“Ask me after our second date”
NEW YEARS IS JUST AN EXCUSE
New Years is just an excuse
For girls to dress inappropriately
And that’s why New Years
Is the best holiday for me
NEW YEAR’S EVE FANCY DRESS
My friend asked me
What I was going to be
For New Year’s Eve
I said “Drunk will do me”
RATHER THAN MAKE A POINTLESS RESOLUTIONS
Rather than make a pointless resolutions
I will make a wish for those I hold
dear
May you always have all that you need
And want all you have, Happy New
Year!
IF YOU WERE BORN IN LATE SEPTEMBER
If you were born in late September,
The bells should definitely start to
clang
As its pretty safe to assume that
your folks
Started out the New Year with a Bang
MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION THIS YEAR
My New Year's resolution this year
Is hopefully an antidote to future
resolutions
And to rid myself of the annual angst
I have come up with a simple solution
Which is to stop hanging out with
people
NEW YEAR’S EVE IS ONE OF THE FEW
New Year’s Eve is one of the few
Acceptable times to wear body glitter
When you have a reasonable
expectation
Of not being mistaken for a stripper
MY ONLY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION
My only New Year's resolution
Is to be more optimistic next year
By keeping my cup half-full
With either vodka, whiskey or beer
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS ARE SOMETHING
New Year's resolutions are something
That go over the head of my brother
He just doesn’t seem to grasp their
import
So they go in one year and out the
other
A LITTLE GIRL’S WARNING
A little girl watched her dad dress for a party.
And then she gave her dad a warning
“Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
dinner suit”
He asked, “why not?” his curiosity dawning
“Because you know that it always gives
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