WHEN THE GARLANDS ARE HUNG

 

When the garlands are hung

And the tree is well dressed

It’s to celebrate Christmas

Not a fictitious Winterfest

SNOWMEN FAST FOOD

 

Snowmen fast food

Is actually a thing

And the food of choice

Is a Berger King

TO THE SNOWMAN’S SCARF

 

To the snowman’s scarf

His hat simply said

You hang around

While I go on ahead.

FROSTY THE SNOWMAN!

 

Frosty the snowman

Was a cheery soul,

With a carrot nose

And dark eyes of coal

Uncanny Christmas Tales – (048) The Garden Center Girls

 

Dulcet St Mary was where the Dulcet Garden Centre was located, which was where Jane Price and Mandy Hubble first met, and was also where Jane fell head over heels in love, with Mandy.

Jane had worked at the Garden Centre since she left school but

Mandy joined as a new hire in October, and was also new to Dulcet St Mary, and actually lived in the same mews as Jane.

She was a year younger than Jane, but like her she was socially awkward, and lacked confidence.

As a result, they just smiled at each other for the first month, but at least sat at the same table for lunch, and by December they progressed beyond monosyllabic conversations, and in the week before Christmas they arranged to go Christmas shopping together in Abbottsford.

Jane was a little concerned there might be an awkward silence on the drive over, or at some point during the day as they had never spent more than half an hour in each other’s company before that day.

She needn’t have worried as Mandy chattered away for the whole journey, as she was so full of excitement.

 

Jane had a lovely day, and she was pretty sure that Mandy had too, so when they were heading back to the car park, walking past the library, hands full of bags and chatting, Jane formulated her plan.

Just after the library they turned left by the art gallery and down a cobbled alley which led to the carpark, then they put all their bags in the car and set off back to the Dulcets.

 

Mandy was anxious to go and show her mum her purchases, but Jane had other ideas.

So, when she parked outside her cottage and they had retrieved all the bags, Jane locked the car and rushed up the path to her front door.

“Come on Mandy” Jane called “come in for a minute”

“Ok I’m coming” Mandy called back “Just for five minutes though”

“Alright come in and close the door” she said and went inside.

Mandy followed her in with bags in each hand and closed the door behind her as instructed, but when she pushed the sitting room door open, she found Jane standing in front of her holding up a sprig of mistletoe, and before she could react Jane took her by surprise and kissed her,

“I didn’t think we were doing presents until next week”

Mandy said, dropped her bags and kissed her back. 

 

Mandy had stayed much longer than five minutes when they shared a soft, gentle, and affectionate farewell kiss, before Jane opened the door and Mandy went home to share her news with her mum.

Uncanny Christmas Tales – (049) The Santa Express

 The Dulcets are a collection of villages and hamlets comprising of Dulcet Meadow, Dulcet St Mary, Dulcet Green, and Dulcet-on-Brooke, to name but a few, and of course Dulcet-on-Willow, a large sprawling village beside the gentle shallow River Willow, which ran unhurriedly from the Pepperstock Hills to the more vibrant River Brooke, and it was on the banks of the river where the home of Clare Gammon was situated.

It was previously her family home and she had lived there all 26 years of her life; she had lived alone in the house for 2 of those years.

She worked in Dulcet St Mary for the Dulcet Garden Centre as a senior buyer, but she had many more strings to her bow.

Clare was very active in the church, at St Bede’s as well as farther afield.

This involved among other things, being a greeter at the church services, delivering Parish Magazines, helping at the Christmas Bazaar, Summer Fete, and Sunday School, you name it, and she did it and that was only in the village.

Her wider good works included the Soup Kitchens in Finchbottom or Purplemere, who were always desperate for volunteers.

The Christmas Charity Wagon in Sharpington, which was an old Mornington Brewery dray, pulled by two white shire horses, which was bedecked with tinsel and lights and carried on the back, a multi denominational choir singing Christmas Carols.

Clare was not however, among those going from door to door, as the wagon drove around the town, collecting donations in plastic buckets and handing out sweets to the excited children, no she was in the choir on the back of the Dray because she had the voice of an angel.

She also volunteered for the Roving Angels, which had been in existence for about two years and was similar to the Street Angels, Street Pastors and other groups that had sprung up all across the UK in the previous 20 or 25 years.

They had made a really positive impact on crime and antisocial behaviour in Finchbottom and Purplemere town centres over the first two years, particularly in the general vicinity of the bars and clubs.

Providing a calming presence on the streets late at night in situations where a police uniform might have the opposite effect.

In the first two years of the Roving Angels, they had contributed to a 29% fall in public place violence on the weekends.

It all began when Christian Churches in the area came together with the Police and the Borough Council’s to establish the Angels.

But it took people of Faith to make it work as with so many things in life.

Clare had been doing it for two years so had not been with them since the beginning.

 

But one of her favourite good deeds was to help out on the Santa Express, which was something to behold, and she loved it because it reminded her of her childhood.

The Santa Express was in reality the Finchbottom Flyer, a 4-6-2 standard gauge four-cylinder steam locomotive built at the Northchapel Works in 1933, liveried in the black and gold of the DCRN, Downshire County Railway Network.

It was a great work horse of the DCRN from 1933 until 1962. 

After it was taken out of service it was stored at the Northchapel Works and remained there for twenty-five years, until it and several other engines and assorted rolling stock were acquired by the Downshire Railway Preservation Society, with the financial support and patronage of Baron St George of Mornington, who was a man with a strong sense of history and his stewardship of the Mornington Estate wasn’t restricted just to the land and properties within the Estate, they also ensured the protection of historically significant buildings and landmarks under threat from modernizers.

Although steam railway engines didn’t really fall within the Estates normal parameters his Lordship made an unprecedented exception.

The acquisition of the Flyer was made in 1988 and the restoration  was completed in 1992. 

The maiden journey for fare paying customers was on the August Bank Holiday in 1993 and ran from Sharping St Mary to Sharpinghead and then onto Sharpington.

It wasn’t until seven years later when the Sharpington spur line was completed, they had access to the main Finchbottom line and were able to go County wide.

It was two years earlier than that when the Flyer had its first outing as the Santa Express which ran from Sharping St Mary station to a secret location where Santa was waiting in his village and grotto.

It was actually the old herb drying sheds which had been preserved and renovated and dressed for the season.

The train picked up children and their parent’s late afternoon so that they arrived at the grotto in darkness in order to make the most of the spectacular lights.

It ran every day from the first of December up until Christmas and there were always plenty of Elves aboard to ensure the children didn’t escape from the carriages.

Clare Gammon was one of those Elves, it was one of the high points of her year, she well remembered her parents taking her when she was a young girl and she liked to see other kids as excited as she used to be at their age.

 

On Wednesday afternoon she drove to Sharping St Mary and when she got there the kids were going crazy with excitement and she found the excitement was quite infectious.

But her job on the trip was to make sure none of the over excited little darlings fell off the train.

There were always plenty of helpers, many of whom she already knew, but there was often a new face or two, and that Wednesday was no difference, but one helper fell into both categories.

She had just got aboard the carriage and closed the door when a voice behind her said

“My God its Miss Piggy”

Only one person had ever called her Miss Piggy, and that was Michael Cooper, but she hadn’t seen him since they were at school together when they were 14, because he moved out of the village, she didn’t know where to.

She turned around to face the speaker,

“It is you” he said and laughed, and the schoolgirl crush she had on him as a 14-year-old girl flooded over her again, even though the tall man with broad shoulders and hands like shovels, short brown hair, neatly trimmed beard, and hazel eyes, was so different from the boy she worshipped, only his infectious laugh was the same.

“Michael!” she exclaimed

“The very same” he replied

“Not the same” she corrected him “but definitely you”

She had never believed in love at first sight or in soul mates, she thought them rather fanciful notions, the stuff of romantic fiction and sentimental movies.

That was until she met the grown-up incarnation of Michael Cooper when she was instantly smitten, but she doubted he would feel the same.

“What are you doing here?” she asked

“The same as you”

“That’s not what I meant” she said, but then became aware that the sounds of bedlam were emanating from her carriage

“I’d better go” she said regretfully  

“I would love to catch up though” she called over her shoulder

“Me too” he shouted after her

 

She did catch sight of him a couple of times after that, the first time was when one of the Elves, Lily Farmer managed to trap him between the carriages armed with a bunch of mistletoe and only when she had satisfied herself in the pagan ritual did, she let him go.

Irrationally, having witnessed the kiss, she was not at all happy about it, but she did enjoy seeing him again.

Now if the kids were excited on the way to the grotto, then judging by the decibel level, they were even more so on the way back to the station.

The second time she saw him was when they disembarked after the return journey, and the children and their parents made their way home, when her own cousin Eleanor kissed him and said goodbye.

Sadly, she never got to speak to him again, not that day at any rate.

 

She drove back to Willow rerunning the day’s events in her head and just as she pulled onto her drive, her phone rang, so she came to a halt and answered it.

“Hello!”

“Hi Clare” her cousin Eleanor said

“Guess who asked me for your number today?”

CHRISTMAS MISTLETOE QUERY

 

What would it take, I’d like to know

For you to kiss me under the mistletoe?

He asked, what would do the trick?

She just replied, a decent anesthetic