Chestnut Cottage
is a rather quaint Tudor thatched dwelling with its white walls and black oak
timbers, its rose covered lych-gate, and a wishing well in the garden.
It is very
much the stereo typical “chocolate box” image of an English country cottage.
It’s a
fairly remote cottage situated at the end of Vicarage Lane some half a mile
from the church and about a mile from Appleby village itself.
My name is
Harry Tyler and I lived in the cottage for more than twenty years and by the
time summer came to an end I had been in residence another eight months after I
died.
Not in a
physical sense, my body did not lie undiscovered, decomposing in my armchair; I
was found and dealt with in the proper manner.
At the time
I was happy enough to die, though I took no hand in it I hasten to add I died
of natural causes.
The last year
of my life was a mere existence after the death of my dear wife Rose.
We had no
children of our own and what other family that were left we were not close to.
Rose and I
had been happily married for 47 years and we retired to Appleby village and we
had such a nice life together.
She was my
conduit to the world; she was the interface that connected me to people.
After she
was gone it was like being stranded in a foreign land without a translator
To find
myself alone in the world at the age of seventy-four filled me with dread so I
withdrew into the safety of the cottage and became very reclusive and only
ventured out when I had to.
So, when I died,
I thought I would be reunited with my Rose again. But I remained in the cottage
and she was nowhere to be found.
I spent
every day confined to the cottage and garden the same prison I confined myself
to before I died.
In many ways
it was no difference to when I was alive except, I didn’t have to eat or drink.
Nor did I
have to wash or comb my hair or trim my beard and of course I didn’t feel
anything.
I was
exactly as I was when I died, a fat, old man with white hair and a beard
wearing the same clothes I had on when I breathed my last.
I hoped to
God I didn’t have to spend eternity wearing that awful red jumper, I hated that
jumper and the only reason I was wearing it at all was that my favourite one
was still damp, and I didn’t want to catch a chill.
If I had realised,
I was going to pop my clogs anyway I would have worn the other one.
So, there I
stood a fat white bearded old man wearing a red sweater that made me look like
an off-duty Santa Claus.
I didn’t
understand why I was still there; I didn’t want to be there I wanted to be with
Rose.
I thought there
must be something I had to do in order that I could move on but at that time I
had no idea what that something might have been.
On the first
of September I thought today is not like any other day, today things are going
to change.
I was
standing in what used to be the bedroom Rose and I shared, and I was looking out
through the window at the unfolding scene below.
A removal
truck had just come to a stop in the lane and a small blue car parked a
suitable distance behind it.
The driver
of the of the car slowly got out and walked towards the gate pausing briefly to
speak to the removal men who were lowering the tail board, she walked through
the gate and down the long winding path.
She was an
attractive young woman late twenties or probably early thirties, petite with
shoulder length black hair that shimmered with a hint of blue like a raven’s wing,
and she walked awkwardly with a stick in her right hand.
I recognised
her at once as one of fifteen or so prospective buyers who viewed the cottage
during the summer.
I thought to
myself that it would be nice to have company even if there would be no
conversation it would be a bit like watching a soap opera on TV.
I would have
preferred it to be a man; after all spying on a young woman would make me feel
a bit like a peeping Tom but beggars can’t be choosers.
Then as I
watched her slow progress down the path something terrible occurred to me what
if she was one of those awful naturist types who go about the house naked,
where would I look?
Then I
laughed at the stupid question I had asked myself it was obvious where I would look,
I might be dead, but I was still a man.
So, I
watched her discreetly over the next week or so as she went about her unpacking
and arranging her furniture.
Due to my
gentlemanly disposition, I declared her bedroom and the bathroom as off limits.
As I was in
my ninth month of limbo, I was desperate for knowledge of the wider world and I
was bitterly disappointed that she didn’t have a television I really missed the
TV and she didn’t listen to the radio either,
I had hoped
she might at least take a daily paper but not the only paper to come through
the door was the local freebie.
She did have
a computer and I did look-over her shoulder while she was using it, very rude I
know and under normal circumstance I would never have done such a thing, but I
thought to myself, needs must.
By the end
of September, the computer had taught me a lot, I had established that her name
was Juliana Molesworth, and she was a workaholic who lived on the computer, in fact
the computer was her life, it was her work, she shopped on it, she banked on
it, it was her library, it was her music collection, and it was her only
friend.
Apart from
her visits for physiotherapy she never went out and her only visitors were
delivery people, oh and a hairdresser.
This young
woman was making the same mistake that I had she was cutting herself off from
the world and making the cottage her prison.
Though I
didn’t know why she was withdrawing from the world I now knew what I had to do to
move on I had to save Juliana from my own fate.
I know that
strictly speaking as I was dead, I couldn’t actually live with her but after
living with Juliana for five weeks it had become clear that she had gone to
Chestnut Cottage to cut herself off from the world and I knew from bitter
experience that course of action was pure folly.
My job was
to show her the error of her ways, but I had absolutely no idea how I would
achieve that.
For a start
I was dead and invisible although I could make myself visible without any
difficulty the problem was not if I could make her see me but when and how
would she take it.
If she
didn’t freak out at having a resident ghost, then she almost certainly would
when she discovered she had been sharing the cottage with an old man who could
make himself invisible.
I decided
for the mean time to just maintain a watching brief just to keep an eye on her
until I could figure out the best course of action.
I did allow
her the odd glimpse, a reflection in a mirror, a shape in the corner of her eye
just to test her nerve but she seemed un-phased by it or would dismiss it with
a shrug.
She seemed
at least on the surface anyway to be quite a strong character she was clearly
in a lot of pain from her hip, and she took strong pain killers for it.
She got
around some of the day without her stick but towards the end of the day she
couldn’t walk without it and she would rub her hip and you could see the pain
etched into her face.
Juliana had
a pretty face when it wasn’t screwed up in pain, with hypnotic green eyes and a
sensual mouth.
There were
some faint scars on her chin and some more on her forehead. but they did not
detract from her beauty.
It was
getting towards the end of the month and I was out in the garden, it had been a
glorious late summer / early autumn day, the sun would have felt quite warm had
I been able to feel it, and I was watching the sun set as I had so many times
with Rose.
I missed her
so much and I was feeling sorry for myself, so I stayed until the sun
disappeared behind the trees then I went back inside.
Juliana was
sat perched on the edge of an armchair and in front of her on the coffee table
was a large glass of wine and a pile of pain killers.
I feared the
worse as I sat in the empty armchair opposite her, to my mind booze and pills
meant only one thing.
Her hand was
shaking as it moved towards the tablets.
“Don’t do
it” I said
“What?”
She looked
around the room.
“Who said
that?”
“I did” I
said as I appeared
She went
stiff and white and said
“Where did
you come from? How did you get in here?”
“Get out
before I call the police”
Then she
grabbed the empty pill bottle and through it at me.
It went
through my chest hitting the back of the chair before bouncing back on to the
floor ending up by her feet.
She had
managed to pull herself to her feet and was wielding her cane
But when she
saw the pill bottle come to a stop by her feet she flopped down into the chair
and said.
“Damn I’ve
taken too many and now I’m hallucinating”
“You’re not
hallucinating” I said quietly “I’m really here”
“No, No,
that’s not possible” She said and drained the wine glass then instantly
refilled it.
“I’ve over
dosed” She was trembling, and she held out a hand in front of her and watched
it shake.
“Oh God now
I’ve got the tremors” She closed her eyes tight for half a minute then opened
them and stared at me.
“And you’re still here”
“You’re
really not hallucinating” I said quietly “I’m really here”
“Please don’t take your own life”
She took a
double take and was suddenly calmer as she considered what I had said.
“Take my own
life?” she said quizzically
Then she
glanced down at the pile of pills and the glass of wine.
“I’m not
going to kill myself”
I looked at
her and nodded and said “good”, but I didn’t believe her, and she could tell.
“I tipped them
out to count them because my leg is hurting so bad, I thought I must have
missed taking one, but I haven’t damn it and I can’t have another one for two
hours” She said impatiently
That made
sense to me, and then I felt foolish, and I had exposed myself for nothing.
“I can see
you believe me now” She said, “So now tell me who you are or what you are?”
“My name is
Harry Tyler”
“I know that
name this was your house wasn’t it?”
“Yes”
“But you’re
dead, you died here” She took a large gulp of wine “Are you a ghost or an
angel?”
“I think I’m
just a ghost, I haven’t been anywhere to become an angel”
“So why are
you here? Why haven’t you gone to where dead people go?”
She drained
her glass and filled it again quickly.
“I not
really sure” I lied
There was silence
for a few moments before she asked
“Is there a
heaven?”
“I don’t
know if there is a heaven or not, I’ve always believed that there was”
I paused for
a moment
“My wife
Rose died in this cottage and she has obviously gone somewhere”
“God how
many people have died here? Is it cursed or something?”
She had
another glug of wine.
Then a look
of panic came over her face.
“Have you
been here all the time, ever since I moved in, I mean?”
Then she
flushed deep red.
“You haven’t
been letching at me in the bath?”
I laughed
and said.
“No, it’s
alright don’t worry, I haven’t been letching at you even though you are a very
attractive young woman”
She looked
doubtful. So, I continued.
“I am
painfully aware that this is not my home anymore and as such there are areas that
I have made off limits; I am a very discreet ghost”
She sighed
and looked reassured.
We sat in
silence for a while then she fell asleep in the armchair.
For the next
two days I didn’t show myself to her partly because I thought it might be
better for her to digest the knowledge of my existence for a while before I
spoke to her again and partly because I was angry at myself for misreading the
situation the previous evening and alerting her to my presence unnecessarily.
I had acted
on the spur of the moment but in truth it hadn’t upset my plans in anyway
chiefly because I didn’t have a plan to upset.
Of course,
there was always the possibility she might think she had imagined the whole
thing as a result of the wine and painkillers.
I looked in
on her from time to time and apart from the obvious signs of a hangover and her
limp she seemed ok.
Although she
did tend to suddenly look over her shoulder for no apparent reason.
Three days
after, for want of a better phrase, I exposed myself to Juliana was, it was one
of those wonderful early autumn days that lifts your spirits but can also take
you by surprise when you step out into it as the sun can deceive you into thinking
the summer hasn’t quite surrendered and then the bitter October wind stings you.
I couldn’t
tell which it might be as it looked like it might be quite warm, but I couldn’t
tell firstly as I was inside looking out and secondly because I was dead and
couldn’t feel anything.
Juliana had
been upstairs dressing as it was one of her physio days and she was just
hobbling her way downstairs and I was beginning to think that she had indeed
passed off our encounter as an hallucination but as she picked up her car keys
and opened the front door, she called back behind her without turning around.
“Bye Harry”
I didn’t
reply because it caught me by surprise
But I don’t
think she was looking for an answer though it was difficult to tell as there
was no feeling behind the words.
Was it a
“Bye Harry” see you later or “Bye Harry” I can’t live in a house with a ghost?
Or perhaps
“Bye Harry” are you really there?
She was gone
all day and I was beginning to think I had scared her away as it was unusual
for her to be quite so late, and it had been dark for some time when her car
pulled up outside the cottage.
It was a
little after seven when she came in through the door her face was tired and
strained and she moved uncomfortably.
I had seen
that pained look before in the weeks I had been observing her.
It was as a
result of her physiotherapy sessions where they worked her hard and she
suffered for it, but it was working she was getting better.
I had seen
the change in her over the weeks and she was getting better becoming stronger
and less reliant on her stick, but her sessions left her exhausted and in a lot
of pain.
She moved
slowly over to the armchair and collapsed into it, after a few moments she
rummaged in her bag and brought out a bottle of water then she reached onto the
table and picked up her pills, her hand was shaking as she opened the bottle,
she put one in her mouth and took a long drink of water then she leaned back
and sighed.
She closed
her eyes and was drifting off to sleep.
I sat in the
chair opposite her and spoke to her.
“Juliana!”
She didn’t
respond.
“Juliana!”
“What do you
want?” she said without opening her eyes. “And don’t call me Juliana, only my
Mother calls me Juliana”
“What should
I call you then?”
She opened
her eyes and looked straight at me.
“Julie is
fine, but never Jules I hate that”
“Ok” I said
She closed
her eyes again.
“Julie”
“What?” She
responded impatiently.
“You need to
go to bed”
“I can sleep
here, its fine now leave me alone”
“Julie you
need to go to bed”
“Leave me
alone or I’ll call Ghostbusters and they’ll come and Hoover you up”
“They don’t
exist” I said
“Nor do you”
she replied
“But I’m
here though, and I’m not going to shut up until you go to bed”
She opened
one eye.
“That’s
really unkind” she said with surprise.
“It’s for
your own good” I said sagely
She looked
unconvinced but struggled to her feet muttering under her breath.
Then she
started slowly towards the stairs.
I felt
guilty because it was clearly painful for her to walk but I knew it would be so
much better for her to get a good rest in bed.
I wished I
could help her, but I was unable to, I hadn’t mastered any of the physical
stuff when I was in the cottage on my own it didn’t seem worth training myself
to open a door when it was easier to walk through it.
Since I had had
a house guest or perhaps landlady would be more precise as I was actually the
house guest, I had been practising with some small success but propelling a
person, even a small person, up a flight of stairs was beyond my capabilities.
“I can’t
believe that I’m being haunted by Casper’s Granddad and he is making me do
this” She said as she struggled up the stairs.
As she
reached the top, she paused briefly to catch her breath then she headed for her
room.
“Tomorrow
I’m calling an exorcist” she shouted.
A few
minutes later all was silent and in an instant I left the sitting room and
transported myself to her bedroom.
It was the
first time I’d been upstairs since she moved in and she had made the room very
nice.
She was
lying on her back fully clothed and sleeping peacefully on her bed.
On the trunk
at the foot of her bed was a throw which with a great deal of effort I managed
to cover the lower half of her with it and I was just about to continue when
her hand reached down and pulled it the rest of the way up and she turned onto
her side with the throw wrapped round her shoulders.
That left me
with the simple task of flicking the light switch something that I had
mastered.
The next day
was a dull and dreary early October day and it was raining hard, the rain
beating against the window glass like someone was throwing handfuls of gravel.
Julie didn’t
come downstairs until 11 o’clock, I had heard her moving about upstairs from
about ten then I could hear the bath running so after more than twelve hours
sleep and a hot bath, she made her way down the stairs in a good deal less pain
than her ascent the night before.
She was
bright and breezy and had real vitality about her such as I had not seen in her
before.
She was so
alive, so vibrant, she was smiling!
“Harry?” she
called as she headed for the kitchen.
I said
nothing.
“Harry?” She
called again as she entered the kitchen
“Where are
you?”
I appeared
suddenly in front of her.
“Oh” She exclaimed and jumped then she laughed.
“I’m here” I
said, “What’s all the noise about?”
“It’s enough
to wake the dead” I said and smiled.
“Yes, very
funny” She was smiling too.
I studied
her face it was a very pretty face when you removed the pain that was normally etched
into it, what a difference from the night before.
It was nice
to see the beauty of the person when the bitterness and pain were removed or at
least masked temporarily.
The girl
before me today was nothing like the one I had been observing for the past
month.
It was
clearly only a type of euphoria which would undoubtedly wear off.
“I hated you
last night” She said looking straight into my eyes “Making me climb those
stairs”
“But today I
feel the best I’ve felt since before the accident”
She had not
mentioned the accident before.
“I could
kiss you” she continued.
“Well, that
would be lovely but there is nothing to kiss, you’d fall straight through me
and head butt the cooker”
She blew me
a kiss instead.
“I’m glad
you are feeling better”
“I know that
it won’t last all day but for now I feel terrific”
“You’ll be
dancing by Christmas” I said
“Don’t spoil
it by talking about Christmas I hate Christmas”
“Why?”
“I will tell
you another time I don’t want anything to spoil my mood”
The pain did
return later that day though not as severe and the next morning the bitterness
was back and for the rest of the month she did battle with her demons,
Julie had
good days and bad days but overall, the demons won.
She still
kept herself to herself only leaving the house for physio appointments, which
were paying dividends, and her only visitors were delivering one thing or
another.
The majority
of her time was spent on the computer which she used for her work, something
involving pages and pages of gobbledygook, and as her window on the world, a
world in which she did not have to participate but could merely be a spectator.
Unless she
called on me, I chose my moments to appear trying to gauge the right time in
between her black moods.
It was while
Julie was on the computer, on one of her good days that I chose to show myself.
She was
ordering her groceries online when I dropped in.
“Don’t
forget the sweets for Halloween” I said
“Oh God not
Halloween” She replied.
“Don’t tell
me you hate Halloween as well”
“Of course,
I hate Halloween, why wouldn’t I, all those ghastly trick or treaters begging
door to door”
She was
bordering on rant mode and I was beginning to think I had picked the wrong time
to call.
“Then there
are the implied threats of violence and vandalism”
I looked at
her and raised my eyebrows and she stopped and laughed
“You’re such
a happy soul” I said
“Well why do
you like it then?”
“I don’t
really”
“So why do
you want me to buy sweets? Did Rose like it is that why?”
Neither Rose
nor I were fans of Halloween before we moved to Appleby, but it was just part
of living in the village.
The thing
about Rose is that she was a community person and being part of the community
was important to her.
We liked the
way it was done; it was so different from our past experience; all the children
would meet at the church hall and would go round in small groups each group
being accompanied by adults then they would all go back to the village hall and
have a party with all the traditional Halloween games and there were prizes for
the best costumes.
“No not
exactly” I didn’t elaborate.
“You’re so
odd” She said and turned back towards her computer.
“I was mean
to them last year” I blurted.
“Who?”
“The
children, I wasn’t very nice to them” I looked down at the floor
“I think I
made one little girl cry”
“Oh”
“I feel
ashamed of my behaviour, Rose would have been so mad”
“Well,
there’s nothing you can do about it now” She said.
“Hopefully,
the kids will remember their bad experience and not come knocking this year, so
no sweets required”
She
punctuated the end of the sentence with an Oliver Hardy style nod, then she
smiled and got up and headed towards the bathroom.
I moved over
to the computer I looked at the screen and observed that she was at the checkout.
Due to much
practise, after all, it’s not as if I have anything else to do, I had mastered
moving and manipulating things over the preceding weeks.
So, I sat
down and took hold of the mouse, I quickly returned to where Julie had been shopping
and found a large tub of Halloween sweets and clicked quantity required 2 and
then add to basket, then returned her to the check out just as I heard the
toilet flush.
Then I went
and sat down again feeling rather pleased with myself.
I was not totally
unfamiliar with computers, but I had never shopped online but I had watched
Julie enough times to pick up what to do.
When she returned,
she completed her shopping transaction and was none the wiser.
The next day
when the shopping arrived, the driver unloaded the bags onto the step and Julie
signed for the delivery and the driver left.
It was only
after she had carried the bags into the kitchen and began to unpack them that
she noticed the 2 large tubs of Halloween candy.
“HARRY!” she
shouted and thumped one of the tubs onto the counter.
“HARRY!”
“You
bellowed milady”
“Was this
you?” she said pointing at the sweets.
“You ordered
them after all” I said acting surprised “That’s really sweet”
“No, I did
NOT” She corrected me.
“Well, it wasn’t
me” I said “I wouldn’t know how, you must have done it subconsciously”
“I am not
the sort of person who would buy sweets for the little…...”
I
interrupted her
“Well
obviously subconsciously you’re a very nice person” And disappeared.
I stayed out
of her way for the next couple of days and I spent my time practising.
I had
mastered the fine manipulations such as flicking switches, unfolding a
handkerchief and picking up a pen.
I could even
write though my handwriting was still a bit shaky.
What I wasn’t
very good at was moving large or heavy objects, so I was in the back garden
trying to move the wheelbarrow.
Unfortunately,
when I eventually succeeded in moving it, I managed to frighten a passing dog
walker who was startled by the sight of a wheelbarrow moving along the path
under its own power.
So, I went
indoors, I found Julie was sat in her chair reading some documents, I was
considering whether it was safe to appear when I noticed the tubs of sweets were
stood on a chair next to the door in readiness for the evening’s visitors.
I knew that
beneath that thick veneer of bitterness and cynicism there resided a good human
being.
I deduced
that the fact the sweets were now sitting on a chair and not in the dustbin
meant that she was in one of her brighter moods.
I decided I
would appear but that I wouldn’t mention the sweets just to be on the safe
side.
“Hello”
She looks up
from her papers then set them on the table in front of her.
“So, you’ve
decided to show yourself”
“What do you
mean? I’ve been busy” I said feigning an indignant attitude.
“Just
because I’m dead doesn’t mean I don’t have demands on my time”
“Yes, I saw
you playing with wheelbarrow”
“So did Mary
Rudd” I said sheepishly
“Who’s Mary
Rudd?”
“Retired
postmistress”
“And she saw
you?” She asked smiling.
“No, she saw
a self-propelled wheelbarrow; she’s probably having a large gin to recover as
we speak”
She was laughing
now.
“Has anyone
else seen you?” Julie asked.
“No and I
only revealed myself to you because….”
“You thought
I was going to top myself”
“Yes”
“I hope you
think better of me now?”
I nodded.
“I do have
low moments, and the world is a shitty place, but on the whole I prefer life”
“I wish
you’d start living it then”
“What do you
mean?”
“If you
prefer life why don’t you go out into the world and live it”.
“You’re just
jealous that I’m still alive and not dead like you” She said viciously
“No, you’re
not dead you’re alive but you’re not living”
“You live
your life though a computer screen” I continued
“You never
meet people; you never interact with other human beings; you have everything
delivered to your door”
She was
about to interrupt but I pressed on before she had the chance.
“And if you
could cut your own hair you would never see anyone at all”
“I have
physio” she corrected me
“And what happens when you don’t need that
anymore?”
She snatched
up her papers and scowled.
“I don’t
need life tips from a ghost” she spat out the words like venom.
Then she
turned her back on me.
“Please
don’t do what I did, don’t imprison yourself in this cottage”
I pleaded
but she ignored me, she was angry with me but not as angry as I was at myself.
I blew it I pushed too hard, and she pushed back.
I could have
got my point across with more subtlety, I was making progress but now I’d gone
backwards.
I was
trapped in the cottage and its environs; I was earth bound because I shut
myself away to wallow in self-pity after the death of my wife Rose.
I had come
to the conclusion that I must help another person in order to “move on” and re-join
my Rose.
It would
have been easier if I had done it while I was still alive, I could have gone
off and sought out someone to help, but as I was dead, I had to wait for
someone to come to me.
But then if
I had lived out my last months in the world in the same way as I lived the rest
of my life, I wouldn’t have been in the mess I was in.
Or maybe
this was how it was meant to be, it was my destiny to help someone, which is
where Julie came in, she had come to the cottage to escape the world.
At that
moment I didn’t know why, and I would need to know that before I could help her,
and I was determined to help her whether she liked it or not.
But to find
out what I needed to know I needed to be on good terms with her which was not
helped by my clumsy handling of the situation.
So, it was
with some trepidation, after our angry exchange, that I went into the sitting
room later in the day.
I feared she
might take out the anger she felt towards me and channel it at the innocent
revellers.
To be on the
safe side I remained invisible until I had assessed the lay of the land.
I half
expect to see Julie sitting in a rocking chair swigging from a whisky bottle
and
Catapulting
sweets at the trick or treaters heads.
But she was
humming, I hadn’t witnessed her humming before, she did impatient tapping of her
fingers, she did grinding of her teeth but I had never witnessed humming.
Humming was
a little unnerving however I took a gamble that it was safe, so I materialized.
“You’re
humming” I said
She jumped,
I had startled her, and she was clearly flustered, then her face went scarlet.
“No, I’m
not” she said indignantly.
“You were
humming, I heard you”
“What you
heard was me clearing my throat” Julie said without conviction, so she changed
the subject.
“Anyway,
where have you been, have you been keeping out of my way”
“I thought
it advisable”
Before she
had chance to comment she was alerted to approach of trick or treaters coming
down the long winding path.
At this time
of the day Julie would normally have to employ her stick to move with any kind
of speed around the house but I noticed it was leant discretely against the
wall behind the door out of sight of anyone who might be standing on the step
if the door were open.
She pulled
the curtain back a couple of inches and peered out.
“They’re
coming, what do I do?” she asked urgently
“Well,” I
began.
“Oh, come
on, you got me into this mess”
“Calm down you’ll
have a stroke” I said
Julie took a
deep breath and waited for me to speak.
“All the
children will have a bag for their sweets” I told her.
“Yes, yes”
she said impatiently.
“Well, you
put a small handful of sweets into each bag but don’t be too generous to early
or you won’t have enough to go round everyone”
“Ok” she
said and nodded.
“But first
you have to open the door” I said inclining my head towards the closed door.
“Oh God yes”
she laughed nervously “that would help”
Julie opened
the door and was met with a chorus of “TRICK OR TREAT” from a small group of
excited witches, warlocks, ghosts, and ghouls.
“Wow look at
you all” she said “What brilliant costumes”
“Ok who’s
first?” she asked as she picked up one of the sweet tubs and scooped up a
handful.
At the back
of the group keeping order was a tall dark-haired man, wearing a flat cap and
leather jacket, Julie caught his eye briefly and smiled and he smiled back,
then carried on but she kept glancing in his direction, he was in his thirties
she estimated.
Soon she had
deposited a handful of sweets into every bag and the group moved back up the
path.
“Goodbye
Miss Molesworth” the tall man said and smiled.
She smiled
back and then looked self-consciously in my direction.
Despite
herself she was still smiling as she shut the door.
“You didn’t
smile at the children did you” I asked
“You’ll scar
them for life”
“Oh, and
which poor child was it that you made cry” she retorted
“Or was it
someone else you were smiling at?”
Julie
blushed deeply just as the doorbell rang.
“Saved by
the bell” I said
Julie opened
the door and repeated the exercise, and then another three times until the
sweet tubs were empty and all the village children had had their share.
She closed
the door and reached for her cane.
“I’m
exhausted”
“You enjoyed
it though?”
She gave me
a stern sideways glance and I could see pain in her features.
“Ask me
later after I’ve had a drink”
Then with a
bottle of wine and a glass she hobbled towards her armchair.
“Will you
join me?” She asked smiling “Oh I forgot you can’t”
“Oh, that’s
cruel”
After her
first glass of wine, she began to relax and after the second she had lowered
her guard.
“You had a
good time, didn’t you?” I ventured.
“Ok yes I
enjoyed it though I’ll deny it tomorrow”
“And the
smile?”
“I admit he
was very handsome, for a yokel”
“His name is
Paul Warwick and he’s not so much a yokel more a country squire”
“Really” She
said with disinterest
“So, which of
the little darlings were his children?”
“None of
them” I answered “He’s not married”
“OH!” she
exclaimed then replaced it with a rather muted “oh”
After
another glass I thought it was safe to raise the subject of this afternoon’s
exchange of views.
“Am I
forgiven?” I asked.
“What for?”
She slurred
It became
apparent I had left it one glass too late for a sensible conversation I had
forgotten to take into account that she hadn’t eaten since lunch.
“This
afternoon”
“Of course, you
spoke very wisdomous words”
“Wisdomous?”
“Yes, you
are very wisdomly” she said as she leant forward to raise her glass to me and
slopping half of it on the table
“I think you
mean wise”
“Well, I was
close” she almost said slopping more wine this time down her blouse.
“Time to get
you to bed I think”
“Your cheeky
old ghost you” She said trying to get out of the chair.
Once she
managed to get vertical her bad leg gave way and I had to catch her before she
hit the floor.
It was a
good job I had been practising otherwise I would never have been able to help
her it would have appeared as a very comical scene as I had a firm hold on
Julie yet when she tried to hold onto me her hands kept going through me.
“You’re a
difficult man to get to grips with Harry” she remarked with a puzzled
expression on her face.
“Well, you
concentrate on staying upright and I will propel you upstairs to bed”
“Ok”
So, with her
tongue sticking out the side of her mouth and one eye closed tight shut she
managed to adopt a stance which kept her more or less upright.
I then gave
her instructions “Left, Right, Left Right” until we had made the journey up to
her room then I guided her onto her bed.
“I hope
you’re going to behave like a gentleman” she said and smiled still with one eye
shut tight.
“You’re
quite safe, I’m dead remember” I replied as I covered her.
“That’s the
story of my life” She said
“What is?”
“Trying to
raise the dead in the bedroom” this caused her to explode with a laugh so dirty
it wouldn’t have been out of place in a Carry On film.
She was
still chuckling when I turned out the light.
“Good night
Julie”
“Night
Harry”
The next morning,
I was sat in the kitchen reading the local newspaper, when she walked in,
surprisingly bright though she was walking quite stiffly, and she was a little
shamefaced.
“Good
morning Julie and how are we this morning?”
“I’m fine”
she said shortly then she added.
“Was I very
embarrassing last night?”
“Not very” I
replied.
“Oh God, I
was embarrassing though?”
“You were
very funny it was nice to see you happy”
“Thanks to
you” She said quietly.
“I beg your
pardon?” I looked up from the paper quite shocked.
But she was
already on her way out the door for her physio appointment.
It was late
afternoon when she returned, and she was moving only a little more stiffly than
she had been when she left that morning.
“Didn’t you
go to physio?” I asked
“Yes, I did,
and it was the best session I’ve had” She replied “I think I’m turning the
corner at last”
“Excellent”
“Good news
and bad news from the doctor though”
“Oh?”
“The good
news is he’s changed my medication which is stronger, but I only need to take
as and when needed”
“And the bad
news?”
“Strictly no
alcohol with these ones” She said holding up an innocuous looking brown bottle.
“A small
price to pay though” I said encouragingly
“That’s
easily said by someone who can’t hold their drink” she said then laughed like a
drain.
Her mirth
was interrupted by a knock at the door.
“Quick hide”
She said
“Ok” I said
jumping up.
“Wait a
minute I don’t have to hide I’m a ghost, I’m invisible”
Julie looked
at me and put one finger up to her lips indicating I should shut up even though
she was the only one who could hear me, then she opened the door.
When the
door opened it revealed a very wet Paul Warwick.
“Oh, look it’s
the yokel” I said
“Hello Miss
Molesworth” the yokel said
“Please call
me Julie and do come in out of the rain””
“Thank you”
He stepped
in and Julie closed the door.
“He’s
dripping on your carpet”
“I hope I’m
not disturbing you” Paul said.
“No not at all”
She replied
“Good, it’s
just I thought I could hear voices before”
“That was
probably the radio” She lied
“Good” he
said unconvinced.
“Quick
change the subject” I suggested.
“Can I offer
you a hot drink?”
“No thank
you I can’t stop I’m afraid, I just called to see if you were aware of the
November 5th bonfire party?”
“No, I
wasn’t” Julie answered
“Well, we
run a coach from the church hall over to Little Trotwood every year; they have
an organised display, would you be interested?”
“That’s very
kind of you but…”
“Go on say
yes” I urged
“…my leg
isn’t really up to it…”
“Liar”
“…. It’s not
good in the damp weather”
“That’s a
shame” Paul said sincerely “It’s always a very good display and they have the
best hog roast in the county”
“Thank you
anyway” Julie added
“If you
change your mind just give me a call” He said reaching into his coat and
bringing out a card which he handed to her.
“I will”
She opened
the door again and Paul stepped out into the rain again.
“No problem,
bye”
“Goodbye and
thanks again” Julie said closing the door.
“Coward” I
said after she had shut the door.
“I don’t
like fireworks that’s all” she said pulling a face.
“Coward”
“I’m not a
coward” She replied indignantly.
“What else
do you call it? He’s attracted to you and you to him”
“Nonsense”
Julie said clearly flustered
“And even if
there were any attraction, I don’t need anyone in my life”
“Everyone
needs someone”
“Rubbish, in
the end people always let you down”
“You can’t
tar everyone with the same brush” I said
“I don’t
need anyone Harry, I’m perfectly happy on my own”
“Pauls a
good man”
“It doesn’t
matter how they start out in the end they always let you down, trust me”
I started to
speak
“Harry let’s
just agree to disagree, shall we?”
I knew I was
fighting a losing battle so meekly I said “Ok”
“Good now
I’m off to have a bath”
Despite my
losing the “battle of the bonfire night party” I knew that the war was far from
lost and that I had made great progress and what was now more important than
anything else was to pick very carefully the battles I chose to fight.
A victory
however small was still a victory and therefore was invaluable.
So, during
the month I chipped away at the immovable object that was Julie in small subtle
ways and I felt I was making some progress but as well as I felt I was doing I
couldn’t quantify it.
I couldn’t measure
my success unless I could get Julie and Paul in the same place at the same
time.
I had
absolutely no idea how I could manufacture a circumstance that would bring the
two of them together and I was left with the feeling that it would take divine
intervention to get them together and as it turned out I was right.
We were almost
at the end of November and Julie had made so much progress she was hardly using
the stick in the house even to get upstairs although she still took it with her
whenever she went out, but it was extremely unlikely that she would ever be
free of it entirely.
She had made
progress in other ways as well; she seemed less frightened of the outside world
and had started to take a daily newspaper again and one morning a radio
appeared in the kitchen.
We had taken
to spending every evening together where we spent the time playing chess or
cards and we would chat casually on a variety of subjects though I would often
try and steer the conversation into areas I wanted to explore as part of my long-term
strategy but quite often we would just listen to the radio.
It was
during one of these very pleasant evenings that I came to enjoy greatly that
events took a change of direction.
There had been
a ferocious autumn storm battering the cottage all day, the storm was so bad we
had to switch the radio off because the reception was so poor, and it was as we
were sitting playing chess when there was an almighty rumble and crash outside.
“What the hell
was that?” Julie said gripping the arm of the chair until her knuckles went
white.
“I’m not
sure” I said standing up. “I’ll go and investigate”
“Well, be
careful Harry”
“Unless it’s
the Ghostbusters I think I’m probably safe” I said giving her a bemused look.
I
transported myself outside and for the first time since my death I was not
sorry to be dead the weather was just awful with a fearsome storm was blowing
the rain horizontally and I was grateful not to have to feel it
It didn’t
take long to find the source of the almighty crash; the gale had uprooted an
old horse chestnut tree and dumped it into Julie’s garden missing the cottage
by a few feet.
I walked the
full length of the tree to find the root end, and which sprang up out of the
darkness about ten feet the other side of the crushed wooden fence that marked
the boundary between Julie’s garden and the landowner responsible for the
removal of the fallen tree, Paul Warwick.
I smiled to
myself and then looked up to the heavens and nodded in admiration.
When I
reappeared in the cottage the room seemed to be empty.
“Is it
safe?” Julie asked.
I couldn’t
see where the voice was coming from at first then I found Julie hiding behind
her armchair wielding her cane like a weapon.
“What are
you doing behind there?” I asked incredulously “Of course it’s safe”
Then she
came out from her hiding place suddenly feeling rather foolish.
“I was
scared” she added meekly.
“Well,
there’s no need to be” I reassured her
“What was
that noise then?” She asked urgently
“The storm
has brought a tree down and the good news is it missed the cottage, but your
shed is only good for firewood”
“Is that
all? I knew it would be something simple like that” Suddenly confident again.
“What should
I do now?”
“We’ll have
a mug of cocoa and go to bed” I said.
“No about
the tree I mean”
“There’s
nothing much you can do about it tonight, just have a good night’s sleep and
phone Paul in the morning”
“Paul?” She
asked coyly.
“Yes Paul
Warwick, it’s his tree, he’ll arrange everything”
“Oh” she
said disinterestedly
“But don’t
worry you won’t have to see him he’ll do everything by phone”
“Oh” She
said trying to hide her disappointment but failing.
The next
morning Julie and I went out to inspect the damage in daylight, Julie in her
dressing gown and wellies and me in my revolting red jumper, though Julie
couldn’t get very far due to the tangle of branches, so she went back inside.
When I had
finished my inspection, I went back inside myself and found Julie standing in
the kitchen, her mobile phone in front of her, tapping the counter with the
edge of a business card.
“He won’t
bite you know” I offered “Unless you want him to”
I laughed to
myself, but she apparently didn’t hear my little joke.
“I said he won’t
bite you know”
“What? I’m not worried about talking to him that’s a preposterous
suggestion”
“So, what’s
the problem?”
“There isn’t
a problem; I was just thinking that’s all”
Then she
picked up her mobile and keyed in the number.
“Hello, its
Julie Molesworth here, is that Mr Warwick?”
“Ok Paul”
All the time
she was talking she was fiddling with her hair with her spare hand which amused
me greatly.
“I’m fine
but I have a bit of a problem I have a rather large tree laying in my garden”
She noticed
me watching her, scowled, and turned her back to me.
“No, the
house is fine”
“Yes”
“No”
“Oh Yes that
would be fine”
“Ok thank
you bye”
She switched
off the phone and put it down.
“Well, that
sounded quite amicable, not scary at all” I said.
“I wasn’t
scared to talk to him” she retorted.
“So, what
was the outcome?”
“He’s coming
round this morning” She said matter of factly “in about an hour”
“Excellent”
I said. “That is good news”
Julie nodded
her agreement.
“And I think
he’s just going to love your outfit”
She gave me
a puzzled look, then glanced at her dressing gown and muddy wellies, and looked
back at me again though the puzzled expression had been replaced by panic.
“Oh God” She
exclaimed then kicked off left boot, so it flew across the kitchen, a technique
she was unable to employ with the other boot due to her bad leg.
So, she sat
down and lifted her foot off the floor and shouted.
“BOOT! QUICK!”
“Alright
calm down” I said as I removed her boot.
“Yes calm”
she took a deep breath “Calm is good”
Then she
jumped up and rushed out of the kitchen, she was still unable to run despite
the progress she had made but she covered the ground quite swiftly anyway.
She
reappeared forty-five minutes later looking much more presentable in a smart
skirt and blouse and I noticed she was wearing makeup.
“Is that
better?” she asked.
“Very smart
but you really didn’t need to go to all that trouble for me”
“I didn’t”
she replied shortly.
“I did it
for….” She tailed off
“For Paul Warwick?
Is that what you were going to say? Why on earth would you care what he
thinks?”
“Shut up”
she said and tried to punch my arm playfully but not for the first time her
hand went right through me and she nearly fell over.
“That’s
really annoying Harry” She said when she had straightened herself up “I hate it
when that happens”
A little
over ten minutes later Paul Warwick’s Landrover pulled up in the lane outside
the cottage.
Julie was
looking out the window as he got out of the vehicle and opened the gate but
instead of coming to the front door he went straight to the site of the damage
and out of her line of sight, so she went into the other room which afforded
her a better look and she watched on as he clambered up onto the fallen tree
and then he disappeared down the other side.
“I don’t
think he’s going to come in” she said still trying to catch site of him amongst
the branches.
“Oh, he’ll
be in when he’s done” I said
It was
obvious, if only to me, that he hadn’t rushed round to the cottage on a job he
could quite easily have delegated only to go off again without fulfilling the
real purpose for his visit which was clearly to see Julie...
Julie spent
the next five minutes craning her next to get a better view then she moved away
from the window and headed back to the kitchen just in time to see him heading
back up the path to the gate.
“He’s off
now” She said unable to hide her disappointment.
“What?”
She went
back into the sitting room and sat down in her chair and I just didn’t know
what to say I couldn’t believe I’d got it so wrong I would have put money on
it.
I sat down
in the chair opposite her and tried to think of something clever to say.
“Well, it’s
probably for the best; it was bound to end in tears”
“That’s not
helping” she said flatly
I was just
about to say something full of wisdom when there was a knock at the door.
Julie opened
the door to find a rather dishevelled Paul Warwick the other side of it.
After a
brief exchange of polite greetings Julie invited Paul into the kitchen with the
promise of coffee and then she turned to look in my direction and mouthed “Not
you”
So, I sat alone
in the sitting room for the next twenty minutes trying to decipher words from
the low rumble of conversation interspersed with small bursts of girlish
laughter.
I had just
come to the conclusion that as I was a ghost, I could have been in the room
with them all along and she would never have known when the kitchen door opened,
and Paul walked through.
“So, the
guys will be here first thing tomorrow” He said as he opened the front door.
“And I will
see you later in the week”
“Ok thanks
Paul bye” Julie said then closed the door.
“Well?” I
said
“Like you
weren’t in the room eavesdropping all the time” She implied
“No, I was
not” I said suitably indignant even though I would have been if I’d thought
about it sooner.
“Oh, sorry
Harry”
She went on
to fill me in on the bones of the conversation doubtless leaving out any of the
flintiness.
Paul was
sending a crew round to cut and clear the timber which due to the size of the
tree would take two or three days.
Then he
would return and assess the rest of the damage to the garden, something else
that could easily be delegated.
The next day
was the 1st of December and the men were hard at work cutting up the
fallen tree.
I thought to
myself as Julie came down the stairs that she looked like a different person, her
body had been getting stronger day by day for weeks but now there appeared to
be a new spark within her, a new hope.
I just hoped
I was right about her and Paul because I feared if that spark were to be
extinguished again it would never relight.
I had just
returned to my reading when she said, “Hi Harry they’re a bit noisy aren’t
they?”
“Harry!
“HARRY?”
When I
didn’t answer she picked up her cane and poked the book I was reading.
“Oh Hello” I
said.
“I’ve been
talking to you, are you deaf?”
“Not exactly
I turned the sound off, so I didn’t have to listen to the racket outside”
“You can do
that?”
I nodded.
“Cool” She
said “Unfortunately I can’t do that so I’m going shopping for the day”
“Great don’t
forget the decorations”
“Decorations
for what?”
“Christmas” I
said “It’s the 1st of December the advent calendars go up today”
“No, no, no”
She said firmly “I don’t do Christmas”
“Why not?” I
said shocked
“Why don’t
you like Christmas?”
“Well let me
see, it’s a waste of money for one thing”
“And?”
“The whole thing
is just a sham; people don’t even believe in what they’re celebrating and if
you believe what the papers say half the country don’t even believe Christ existed”
She stated angrily though at the time I was unsure quite what she was angry
about whether it was the season itself or people’s ignorance.
“Well that’s
just nonsense we know from the Romans that Christ existed, they were great
record keepers the Romans, people might argue that he isn’t the son of God or
that God himself doesn’t exist but they can’t deny Christ’s existence” I said
but I don’t think she was really listening, it would not be the first time I’d
lost the attention of the person I was conversing with, boring conversation was
a bad habit of mine throughout my life and apparently after my death as well.
“And what do
you believe?” She asked more calmly.
“I believe
in the whole nine yards, Father Son and holy ghost” I said trying to lighten
the mood without success.
“What about
you?”
“I must
believe in him because I hate him so much”
With that
she slipped on her coat and picked up her bag.
“I’ll see
you later” she said and left.
I knew from
the start of this exercise that she had some serious issues in her life but
what I didn’t know was that Christmas was one of them if in fact it was.
Perhaps her
dislike of Christmas was actually masking something deeper, only time would
tell unless I were to push the right buttons.
Two days
later the last of the timber was removed revealing the full extent of the damage
to the boundary fence, the garden shed and what used to be the lawn, miraculously
the wishing well sustained only minor damage.
Paul was on
site and talking on his mobile organising the next phase which would be to
remove all the debris and replace the fencing erecting a new shed and generally
tidying up. The new lawn would have to wait until spring and the replacement
shrubs and plants would be replaced at the same time.
Julie went
out into the garden just as he was finishing his phone call.
I was
standing by the remains of what used to be the shed, the shed erected by my own
two hands, I was amazed it had lasted twenty years I never did master DIY.
I was too
far away to hear what Paul and Julie were saying but they were headed back
inside the house.
I was
already in the kitchen when they arrived.
“We’re
cutting Christmas trees on the estate at the moment I will have them cut you
one by way of an apology, what size would you like?”
“I don’t
really do Christmas” She said “It’s just an empty commercial festival”
“But thanks anyway” She added.
“Oh, and
when did you become so cynical?”
“From the
moment I discovered Father Christmas doesn’t exist”
“Who says he
doesn’t?”
“Ho, ho, ho”
she said sarcastically
“I think
everybody has a little bit of Christmas in their heart” Said Paul
“That would be
tiny in my case”
Paul looked
a bit deflated after she said that but perked up when she added.
“A meal
would be a perfectly acceptable apology though”
It was a
week later when Paul picked Julie up and drove her over to Abbotsford for their
meal, I would say their date, but Julie kept insisting it was not a date.
It was quite
late when he brought her home and I was a little disappointed when the evening
ended on the doorstep with a peck on the cheek.
I had high hopes,
but Julie was holding back for some reason.
“Good night”
Julie came in and closed the door.
“Nice
evening?” I asked
“Yes, very
nice”
“Good meal?
Good company?”
“Yes, to
both questions”
“But?”
“I really
like him, but I don’t know if I want to go through it all again”
“Nothing
ventured nothing gained” I said
“I’ve done
my share of venturing in the past and I haven’t yet gained”
“I’ll
probably just screw it up again Harry so it’s probably best if I stop it before
it starts”
She waved
away any protest from me and went up to bed.
“Night
Harry”
“Night
Julie”
“That won’t
do at all” I said myself.
The next day
before Julie was up and about, I sent a text to Paul from Julies mobile.
It was quite
exciting I’d never done one before even while I was alive.
I was quite
surprised that it was more difficult than it looked and really rather
complicated to get the letter you wanted and then it kept changing the word.
I came very
close a number of times to throwing the damn thing across the room.
Eventually I
managed to write:
“Thank you Paul I had a wonderful time last
night I really would love to do it again. Julie x PS Just ignore me if I play
hard to get lol”
Within a
couple of minutes, I got a reply.
“I had a
wonderful time too I will call you soon. Paul”
Then I
quickly deleted my text to him and his reply and then put the phone back in
Julie’s handbag with minutes to spare before I heard Julie coming down the
stairs.
I felt very
pleased with myself and my subterfuge and I thought it was just a matter of
time before the two of them got together again, however when a week had passed,
and nothing had happened I was not so confident.
There had
been a couple of texts which I didn’t get to see before she deleted them and
there had been a phone call, but it didn’t last long.
So, it was
to be another evening of chess and conversation.
I set up the
board as Julie entered the room from the kitchen carrying a glass and bottle, she
opened a bottle of wine the first she’d had for several weeks.
I frowned at
her and nodded in the direction of the wine.
“It’s ok I
haven’t taken any pain killers for three days, so this is by way of
celebration”
“Excellent”
I said “I wish I could join you”
“Bad luck”
she said taking a long sip
“I would
prefer Christmas ale”
“Oh, don’t
start on Christmas again”
“Why do you
hate Christmas so much?” I asked
“How long do
you have?” She replied without humour.
“I have as
long as it takes, I’m dead remember” I said trying to inject a little humour as
I sat down opposite her.
“Where
should I start” she looked around the room as if seeking inspiration.
“Christmas
has been a disappointment all my life”
“I grew up
with the constant disappointment of not getting the presents that I asked for”
she said with a wry smile “Which I blamed Santa for”
I started to
speak but Julie interrupted me.
“I know
that’s very childish and pathetic” she even laughed a little.
“When did
you stop believing?”
“I believed
right up until I was seven, that was the year I discovered Santa Claus was
actually my drunken father” She took a long drink
“So, with a
drunk for a father and a violent bully for a mother my childhood was just full
of Christmas joy”
“Not
brilliant then” I added
“Then three
Christmas’s ago at one of our merry Christmas gatherings my own sister stole my
husband, and my mother took my sisters side” she paused thin lipped remembering
the pain of it fresh as if for the first time she gathered herself then
continued.
“My dear mother
said if I’d kept him satisfied in the bedroom he wouldn’t have strayed”
“Not that he
had to stray too far with my slutty sister sniffing round him like a bitch on
heat”
“What did
you say to your mother?” I asked
“I said that
if she’d kept my father satisfied in the bedroom he wouldn’t have turned to
drink”
“Oooh”
“I haven’t
spoken to her or my sister since”
She took
another drink.
“Then last
year two weeks before Christmas a drunk driver ran a red light and broadsided
me shattering my hip and putting me in hospital for months”
She reached
out and grabbed her cane.
“And now I
still have my trusty stick as a constant reminder of what Christmas means to
me”
I wished I
could have given her a fatherly hug, but I couldn’t, so we fell silent after
that and concentrated on the chess for a while.
I was out
and about in the garden early next morning it was less than a week before
Christmas and I was beginning to despair that as far as we had come together it
was not going to be far enough to save us both.
But it was
more than that, when I started it was about helping Julie in order to cross
over and be reunited with Rose.
I had come
to care about Julie more than I thought possible and furthermore I had come to
realise just how much I had wasted the final months of my own life.
I had
brought her back from the brink and I resolved that I would succeed in opening
her heart not for my own sake but for hers.
I
transported myself to the sitting room only to find it empty but there was the
sound of cooking coming from the kitchen and perhaps more alarming the sound of
singing.
When I
appeared in the kitchen, I found Julie frying bacon and singing along to an Eva
Cassidy song playing on the radio.
“Are you
ok?” I asked with false concern.
“Yes why?”
“I thought
you must have had a relapse and your hip was hurting”
“Very funny
Harry” she said with a smile.
“Would you
like some bacon? Oh, I forgot you can’t eat can you I’ll have to eat it all
myself then”
“You can be
a very cruel young woman” I said indignantly and tucked the newspaper under my
arm and withdrew to the sitting room.
After she
had devoured her bacon, which not only could I not eat but perhaps worse
I was also denied
its smell, she came into the sitting room and sat opposite me and we started a
tug of war over the newspaper.
“You’re in a
very playful mood today” I suggested after I had lost custody of the paper.
“I feel
happy today, I don’t know why I just do”
As she was
in a good mood, I decided to chance my arm and enquire as to the state of play
between her and Paul.
“Have you
heard from Paul?” I said directly.
“Don’t
start”
“What? It was
an innocent enough question”
“Hmm, well
as it happens, he did phone me”
“Really?” I
said keenly
“He invited
me out for dinner on Christmas eve”
“That’s
great”
“I declined
his invitation”
“Why?”
“Look Harry I’m
sure he really is a nice guy and I do like him”
“But?”
“But I am
finally getting my life back on course, and that’s due in no small part to you,
and I don’t need any complications”
“That really
is a shame” I
said sincerely.
“I just don’t think I’m ready”
She added
With that
she handed me the paper and returned to the kitchen I left it ten minutes or so
and then joined her just as Bruce Springfield’s gravelled tones emanated from
the radio and I dueted with him in a fine rendition of “Santa Claus is coming
to town”.
When we had
finished more or less together, I took a bow or two.
“Ha ha I do love
a good Christmas song”
“Oh God
protect me from the happy Christmas ghost” Julie was laughing.
“What is it
with you and Christmas anyway?” she asked rhetorically.
Then she
stood and looked at me, my portly build, white beard, and the hateful red
sweater, shaking her head despairingly.
“In fact,
come to think of it you even look like Santa in a rather jaded retired to the
old folks home kind of way” Then she chuckled her rich velvet chuckle.
“Oh, and why
is that, just because I’m a jolly fat man with a white beard?” I said striking an indignant pose.
“No, you
have a fair point you would only qualify on two out of three” then her chuckle
morphed into a full belly laugh and then I was laughing with her.
Our
merriment was interrupted by a knock at the door and Julie was still wiping the
tears of laughter from her eyes as she opened the door.
It was a
smiling Paul Warwick who had knocked, and his expression instantly changed to
one of concern when he saw Julie’s tears.
“Is
everything alright?” he asked with genuine concern.
Realizing
what she was doing Julie quickly dispelled his concern with a tale about
something hilarious on the radio.
Suitably
reassured Paul’s smile returned to his face and briefly gathered himself before
revealing the meaning for his visit.
“I know you
said you didn’t do Christmas” He began.
“But as I
said everyone has a little Christmas in their heart”
Julie was
about to cut him off in full flow, but he put his hand up to stop her before
she could start.
“So, with
that in mind” he said ducking down to retrieve something from the floor.
“I thought
of this”
He was
holding in his hand a small live Christmas tree in a pot, complete with tinsel
and Baubles standing about two feet tall it was even topped by a fairy.
“A tiny
Christmas tree for someone with only a tiny bit of Christmas in her heart”
He said as
he presented the tree to Julie.
“That’s so
sweet” She said “Thank you”
“You can
plant it in the garden after Christmas so it will keep growing and hopefully
your love of Christmas will grow with it”
There were
tears in her eyes again as she looked at the tiny tree and then Paul excused
himself as he had some estate business that he needed to attend to which I
later found out was delivering hampers to the homes of his workers.
Julie stood
looking at the little tree with a silly grin on her face as Paul said goodbye
and was heading up the path.
“I told you
he was a nice man” I said.
“Yes” she
said looking at me with tears welling up in her eyes.
“Oh God I
can’t let him go I have to talk to him”
“Well run
after him then” I suggested
“I can’t
run” She said.
“Go and slow
him down somehow”
Julie set
off walking and I transported myself to the gate just as Pauls hand reached for
the latch.
As he tried
to open the gate, I held it shut and no matter how much he shook it the gate
didn’t move.
Julie was
only a few yards away now.
“Paul!” She
called.
Paul turned
around to see where Julie was calling from.
“Hi, you
appear to have a problem with your gate” He said just as I let go of the gate
and the gate swung open
“That’s odd”
he said.
“I’m glad I
caught you” She said wincing a little at the effort of pursuing him.
“About
dinner on Christmas Eve is it too late to change my mind?”
On Christmas
eve I sat in the solitude of the cottage for what I hoped would be the last
time, hoping that the person I had come to care so much for would not need me anymore
while at the same time regretting that I would no longer be required to spend
the long, pleasant evenings in her company.
In the
beginning I thought that I was left stranded on earth solely because of the way
I withdrew from life and that my having to help someone escape my fate was my
penance but in fact I came to understand that my predicament was less about a
punishment for me but rather more about salvation for Julie and a last chance
for her to find happiness.
In truth no
matter how fond I was of her I did not belong there and though tinged with
regret I hoped soon to be moving on
I became
aware of voices outside and thought was this the moment a tender kiss goodnight
on the doorstep but instead the door opened, and Julie stepped into the
darkness and my heart dropped and I thought we were back, perhaps not to square
one, but we had definitely gone into reverse.
Then the
light went on and following Julie was the tall figure of Paul who closed the
door behind him.
“Make yourself
comfortable while I get us a drink” Julie said before disappearing into the
kitchen.
Paul headed
in my direction and I had to move quickly before he sat on my lap.
I stood
invisible in the corner by the stairs and observed as Julie came out of the
kitchen with a bottle of wine and a glass, then she stopped in her tracks and
turned on her heels and briefly returned to the kitchen before reappearing with
a second glass. She smiled to herself at the force of habit and glanced around
the room to see where I was.
Julie set
the bottle and glasses on the table then before she could sit Paul stood up and
took her hand and pulled her gently towards him and beside the tiny Christmas tree,
he kissed her tenderly and she kissed him back.
At the
precise moment she returned his kiss on that Christmas Eve a bright light
emanated down the stairs and I knew my moment had come.
I looked up
the illuminated staircase and standing at the top was my dear Rose with her
hand outstretched towards me.
I turned
again to look at the embracing couple, Paul had his back to me and as their
lips parted I allowed Julie to see me one last time.
“Goodbye
Julie it’s time for me to go now, have a happy life” I said and waved.
Then as she
stood holding onto Paul her head resting on his shoulder, she mouthed the words
“Merry Christmas Harry”
I left the
young couple and walked up the stairs and took Rose’s hand and we were
instantly in another place.
Now I spend
most of my time with Rose and all those who went before me but. I still look in
Paul and Julie from time to time, I can do that now I’m a proper spirit, but
that is a tale for another time.
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