THEY ARE THE THREE KINGS

 

There are three things

That Christmas brings

They are the three kings

Trimming and dec-king

Gratefully than-king,

And memory ma-king, 

NOW THAT IT'S CHRISTMAS # 2

 

Now that it's Christmas

It makes me kind of glum

To do all the things

I used to do with mum

But when I feel her beside me

Then I don’t feel so glum

A WINTER BLUNDERLAND

 

Door bells ring, are you listening,

In the street, snow is glistening,

Out in the night,

There’s a hideous sight

Your mother in her winter underwear

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – ROSEMONT

 

Twenty-three-year-old Lisa (Ayla Kell) is pregnant and running away from the baby’s father Craig (Lochlyn Munro).

She is travelling on the bus to Denver when she hears that the road ahead is closed due to snow and is going back the way they came.

But at a diner she overhears Brad (Brendan Michael Coughlin), a professional snowboarder, talking to his girlfriend on the phone about his plan to drive over the mountain in his 4 x 4 so she asks for a ride.

They make good progress initially, but a blizzard overtakes them and Brad's car slams into a snowbank in the middle of the wilderness.

They are forced to seek shelter at the only sign of civilization that they had seen in the last ten miles, the Rosemont Lodge.

Which was once a vibrant year-round resort, but the Rosemont Lodge had been closed for nearly 20 years.

Most of the Lodge has been sealed up and only a corner of the main building shows any sign of habitation.

As they approached the building they are greeted by the lodge's owner, Josephine (Grace Zabriskie), who is brandishing a shotgun, and her retainer Abe (Brad Dourif) who persuades her to let them in out of the snow.

Josephine used to be the heart and soul of the resort, her personality, and her cooking, were as much of an attraction as were the hundreds of acres of pristine mountain wilderness but as a result of personal tragedy, she closed the resort and became a recluse. 

However, having Brad and a heavily pregnant Lisa about the place it has a thawing effect on Josephine and after she and Abe deliver the baby a bond is formed that has a lasting effect.

 

This is a very enjoyable Christmas tale in which Grace Zabriskie is the absolute star of the show as Josephine, but Brad Dourif runs a close second as Abe.

CHRISTMAS GATEAU

 

It is time for me to make

My most special Christmas cake

The only thing you need to start

Is the most joyous open heart

Then add by the pound

All the love that can be found

Delightful festive merriments

And simple humble ingredients

Thankfulness and Gratitude

Lashings of positive attitude

Laced with Christmas cheer

And a cup of Christmas beer

An abundance of good wishes

With lots of hugs and kisses

Not forgetting laughter and fun

Enough to serve everyone

And to complete my Gateau

I garnish with sprigs of mistletoe

WHEN CHRISTMAS WEARS ITS TINSELLED GOWN

 

When Christmas wears its tinselled gown

Joy fills the streets around the town

We must banish those who wear a frown

As we celebrate the King with the holy crown

I DON’T WANT TO WISH YOU

I don’t want to wish you

A happy holiday

No that I will not say

 

I’m not going to wish you

A happy yuletide

No that I will not abide

 

I’m not going to wish you

A happy festive period,

No and the reasons are myriad

 

I’m not going to wish you

A happy winter festival

No, that isn’t suitable

 

I’m going to wish to you

A very happy Christmas

So have a very Happy Christmas

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – SIGNED, SEALED, DELIVERED FOR CHRISTMAS

 

This is the endearing tale of the postal service’s four musketeers of the undelivered mail department, the beloved quartet of post office detectives, with a duty to deliver every last letter before Christmas.

Oliver O'Toole (Eric Mabius) and his team, Shane McInerney (Kristin Booth), Rita Haywith (Crystal Lowe) and Norman Dorman (Geoff Gustafson), are working around the clock to redirect Santa’s mail and with the assistance and a little guidance from a mysterious post office volunteer, Jordan (Rob Estes) they clear all the back log by the end of December 23rd.

The whole group then all attend the Christmas formal before they head off on their separate ways to spend their Christmas’s alone where they receive an emotional last-minute plea addressed to God, so they must delay their own travel plans to make sure one little girl doesn’t lose her Christmas joy.

And as they work tirelessly to make the little girl’s wish come true Oliver runs into his former Sunday school teacher (Marion Ross) and the true identity of the mysterious Jordan is revealed and the quartet discover love right under their noses.

WITHOUT SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER

 

Without Santa’s little helper

Christmas would be very hard

I don’t think I could do Christmas

Without my credit card

IT’S ALL DOWN TO YOU

 

It’s all down to you

You are the number one

Thanks for everything

For another job well done

You’re the best of the best

Happy Christmas Mum

NOW THAT IT'S CHRISTMAS # 1

Now that it's Christmas

It makes me kind of sad

To do all the things

I used to do with Dad

But when I feel him beside me

Then I don’t feel so bad 

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CHRISTMAS MIX

 

The Pepper and Spice radio show in Los Angeles was a popular and edgy phone in show but cynical Pepper Sterling (Tilky Jones) over steps the mark and upsets one of the stations major sponsors and is banished to a sister station in rural Colorado town.

He was assigned to co-host a show with a "love doctor" Sandra Love (Haylie Duff), who is a hopeless romantic.

Pepper was unhappy with being second banana on a hick show in the back of beyond and wasn’t backwards in coming forward about letter people know as a result they have a spat live on air which gets them off on the wrong foot and their antagonistic relationship gets the whole town talking.

At first the two mix like oil and water but their on-air bickering becomes popular and, inevitably, they start to like each other and like soon leads to love.

DEAR SWEET CINDERELLA

 

Dear sweet Cinderella

Does no one love you at all?

Is that the real reason?

You’re not going to the ball

 

Or is there another reason

Are you just too sweet?

Just simply too demure

To be given such a treat

 

If your morals were looser

You would gain a reputation

And you would be asked

Without any hesitation

 

A stain on your character

Will show blacker than cinders

And you will go to the ball

And have a ball dear Sin-ders

MISSING EVERYONE

 

I miss everyone so much, that I fear

I’ll dampen everyone’s Christmas cheer

Then your emailed movie clip appears

And when I’ve wiped away my misty tears

The long miles seem to disappear

And feel more like you are all near

So I put away my lonely fears

Have another glass that cheers

And I’ll see you all on New Years

BRANDISHING YOUR MISTLETOE

 

It’s Christmas Eve so off you go

Start brandishing your mistletoe

March off purposely through the snow

To find yourself a Christmas ho

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CHRISTMAS WISHES

Jason Gedrick, Erica Cerra, Richard Harmon, Amitai Marmorstein and Emmalyn Estrada star in this festive tale that centre’s around the towns Wishing Tree, a special Christmas tree decorated with handwritten wishes.

The story revolves around the local private school, its teachers, its “orphaned” pupils and their lives over the Christmas vacation and their reasons for being there.

It has drama, humour and romance so this movie delivers just what you want in a Christmas tale.

CHRISTMAS EVE AT THE HOSTELRY

 

The local hostelries are full

As they approach the brink

And raise their glasses high

For yet another festive drink

The season roundly toasted

Measured by each glasses chink

The next morning’s celebration

Will be a silent one I think

RUSH AND SCURRY

 

Hurry, hurry shopping in Surrey

Hurry, hurry, rush and scurry

Worry, worry, fresh snow flurry

Hurry Murray rush and scurry

Let’s get home and have a curry

I JUST OPENED MY PRESENT

 

My old aunt just popped round

With a Christmas gift for me

It wasn’t what I was expecting

It was a tweedy dye Mankini

 

“I hope it’s the one you wanted”

I didn’t know what to say really

I couldn’t understand it

I asked for a CD by Mancini

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A BOYFRIEND FOR CHRISTMAS

 

Holly Grant (Kelli Williams) is not looking forward to Christmas at her parents’ house as her brother has a wife and children and she hasn't had a boyfriend since Ted Powell (Bruce Thomas) broke her heart when he chose to break up with her when he was transferred to an out of town newspaper owned by his family's publishing empire.

Plus on Christmas Eve a woman Holly was helping failed to regain custody of her kids when pro bono lawyer Ryan Hughes (Patrick Muldoon) never showed up at the hearing.

 

Knowing that she was never likely to meet Hughes, Holly has to settle for dictating a nasty letter to him. Holly's friend Diane (Maeve Quinlan) tries to perk her up by promising to send her a really great Xmas present.

So when a handsome man with a Christmas tree knocks at her door, she believes that Douglas Firwood is her present and she can take him home to her parents for the day as a boyfriend she is serious about.

In actual fact Douglas is really Ryan Hughes who is acting on the instructions of Santa Claus (Charles Durning) who is trying to deliver on a Christmas Wish made 20 years earlier which is made difficult when Ted appears back on the scene.

SHOPS IN THE HIGH STREET

 

Shops in the high street

Are full to overflowing

With irate customers

Franticly to-ing and fro-ing

 
The shopkeeper delights

While prices are rocketing

Happy in the knowledge

Of the profits he’s pocketing

 

And in his smug contentment

He rubs his hands with glee

“Merry Christmas you mugs

And a prosperous new year, for me”

A SIMPLE GIFT

 

I’m hoping that this Christmas

I will get what I desire

I’m not that easy to please

I don’t ridiculously aspire

 

I don’t want the moon and stars

Or diamonds or pearls

Some perfume or cosmetics will do

I’m not one of those greedy girls

 

I just want something for me

Just a small thing, for me this year

But as always it will be something

For the house from IKEA

SCROOGE LIKE

 

They say the perfect Christmas

Is blessed with family and friends

I say the fewer the better

Otherwise the present buying never ends

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – ANGEL OF CHRISTMAS

 

Susan Nicholas (Jennifer Finnigan) is a copy editor for a New York Newspaper but she really wants to be a writer, but is continually being knocked back.

But she is given an assignment just before Christmas to write a seasonal piece for the Christmas edition of the paper, the only problem is that she is a sceptic when it comes to Christmas.

But she is inspired to write an article about her family's much-storied heirloom, a Christmas angel, which was hand carved by her great Grandfather.

It has supposedly been instrumental in bring several generation of her forebears together but Susan is a cynic about that as well.

But despite her cynicism the angel leads her to an accidental meeting with Brady (Jonathan Scarfe), a cute, upbeat artist who with the help of the angel, whisks Susan the grinch into a holiday-time friendship and hopefully more, if the hand-carved angel, with the reputation to bring people together, work its magic on the sceptical Susan as it moves her closer to Brady.

This is a really lovely Christmas story and quite magical even if the hand carved angel is really rather ugly.

THE FESTIVE INTERVAL

 

When celebrating

The festive interval

Please refrain from calling it

The winterval

PANTER CLAUS

 

We’ll have a quiet night in

So let the festivities begin

I think it really is a thriller

To have you as a stocking filler

Do you think it shocking?

To want you in my stocking

But I’ll fill you with joy

If you’ll be my sex toy

I can be your secret Santa

You can be my sultry panter

A bit of festive rough and tumble

Ok then just a quick fumble

I thought you’d be up for a goose

They all said you were loose

Then you’re not a sure thing?

And you don’t swing?

No please don’t go home yet

I’m the best offer you’ll get

Sod it another quiet night in

Let the celibacies begin

FLAWLESS

 

You are fat and round

And your trousers are tight

Your nose is quite red

And your beard is white

Now all of the above

Might be considered flaws

But they’re not to me

As you are my Santa Claus

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE ROAD TO CHRISTMAS

 

After her flight is diverted due to bad weather high-powered fashion photographer Claire Jameson (Jennifer Grey) finds herself stranded in Middle America on the way to her dream Christmas Eve wedding in Aspen.

At the same time the rugged former artist turned teacher, Tom Pullman (Clark Gregg), and his 13-year old daughter Hilly (Megan Park) are on the road to spend Christmas with Grandma.

Claire is unable to get another flight or rent a car and is reduced to begging for a ride.

But Tom and Hilly are well into their road trip before they cross paths with Claire but when they do they kindly offer to take her to Aspen which isn’t far from their destination.

But as they got under way, none of them realized that as their journey was beginning it would lead them to a very different destination to the one they were expecting.

WHAT WOULD I WISH FOR?

 

If I had a Christmas wish

What would I wish for?

Well that’s a good question

I’m not really sure

I'd wish for peace in the world

Yes I think that would do

No I’m only kidding

I would wish for you

ELF PRINCESS

 

I will be your elf princess

And I will be forever yours

So put on the red suit

And be my Santa Claus

A WASTED WISH

 

Why would I make a Christmas Wish?

And hope that it would come true,

What on earth could I ever wish for?

That would be a tenth as good as you

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – ANGEL DOLLS

 

Angel Dolls is by far the best Christmas movie of the last 30 years.

It is possessed with all the usual ingredients for a seasonal film, romance, humour, schmaltz, pathos and a strong Christian message but this one has something else, a surprise ending.

And that’s not something that’s easy to pull off in a Christmas movie.

Lynn Brandt (Josie Bissett) is an abused wife who leaves her alcoholic husband Darryl (Russell Porter) on Thanksgiving and moves with her children Thomas (Rustin Gresiuk) and Sara (Farryn Van Humbeck) to another town.

A year later and Lynn is working hard but getting nowhere financially and has to tell her son Thomas that they can’t afford a tree, decorations or presents.

Thomas is already having problems of his own as he’s still the new boy at high school and is being regularly bullied.

Their lives slowly become entwined with another family in trouble Kevin Morrell (Matthew Settle) has a failing business and his wife Jenny (Kendra Anderson) is heavily pregnant.

Thomas and Kevin become friends on the basketball court at a church youth club while Jenny’s pregnancy takes a turn for the worst.

Lynn finds a solution for the lack of Christmas presents and signs up the children for the Paper Angels which allows those on low incomes to write their child’s name and the desired gifts on the back of a Paper Angel hanging on the Christmas Tree at the Mall.

The school bullying soon turns to cyber bullying when another student puts up a Facebook appeal to help a poor kid namely Thomas.

But after he is befriended by popular girl Cassie Bale (Anja Savcic), Thomas uses the cyber bullying to his own advantage and turns the Facebook campaign into a charity collection for the Salvation Army.

Predictably perhaps Kevin gets Thomas’s angel from the tree, but the gifts he asks for are far from predictable.

SNOWMAN

 

What a lovely snowman

Big and round and tall

There isn’t anything I like better

Really nothing at all

It’s the first thing I look for

As soon as the snow falls

It’s definitely a snowman

See it has “Snow balls”

AT THE ANNUAL CHRISTMAS BINGE

Well at the end of the year

Its managements’ biggest fear

That staff should infringe

At the annual Christmas Binge

 

After spiking the fruit punch

In the canteen after lunch

Their totally off their hinge

At the annual Christmas Binge

 

The amount of alcohol downed

As many a sorrow was drowned

Made the accountant whinge

At the annual Christmas Binge

 

The extent of the reveling

Was quite frankly bedeviling

Enough for his beard to singe

At the annual Christmas Binge

 

The things that a little party ho

Did beneath the mistletoe

Would make a puritan cringe

At the annual Christmas Binge

 

Karen from reception bless her

Botox-ed her face with vodka

With a catering syringe

At the annual Christmas Binge

 

The level of fraternization

Was quite a revelation

And caused a few backs to twinge

At the annual Christmas Binge

 

You may well be forgiven

After the events which had arisen

That it was the lunatic fringe

At their annual Christmas Binge

 

Next day when the party was over

Everyone suffered from a hangover

And all took on an earthy tinge

The day after the Christmas binge

I DON’T NEED THE FINEST GIFT

 

I don’t need the finest gift

I don’t need a Christmas wish

Because I’m already blessed

With a special Christmas dish

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A STAR FOR CHRISTMAS

 

Cassie (Briana Evigan) owns and runs her own Cupcakery which happens to be the only thing that is actually working in Cassie's world, her small-town business in fact is a huge success, but her love life on the other hand is a total mess.

She can’t get over her ex-boyfriend Jared (Travis Van Winkle) because she sees him all the time as they have joint custody of the dog.

One day a stranger in the shop announces that she makes the best cupcakes he has ever tasted and the stranger turns out to be a big time Hollywood film director and he is making a movie in town and he wants Cassie to cater for the crew.

She also meets Alex (Corey Sevier) who she thinks is a handyman and employs him to work in the bakery and then her whole universe is turned upside down when she falls in love with him before he is revealed to be the famous and notoriously troubled actor Alex Gray.

Actress Skylar (Brooke Burns) rocks the boat as the femme fatal but Cassie’s best friend Tricia (Karissa Vacker) holds things together in the enjoyable holiday romcom.

MY FAVOURITE THINGS AT XMAS # 4

 

The reindeer that fly like the birds on the wing

Santa Claus commanding with his gifts to bring

Joy bringing Carollers with songs to sing

These are a few of my favourite things

THE ORIGINS OF DANCE # 1

 

If Scottish dancers

Come from Scotland

And Irish dancers

Come from Ireland

Are Lap dancers

From Lapland?

CHRISTMAS COMPLEMENT

 

As I was basting the bird

A thought, to me occurred

It was only at this time of peace

That Turkey and Greece,

As with hot fat you smother,

Complement each other

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER - A SONG FOR THE SEASON

 

This is a lovely story set during the holiday season, when a stern school administrator Cal Peterson (Gerald McRaney) is sent to review Bethlehem School with a view to cutting costs by any means.

He is accompanied by his teenage niece Fern (Alison Pill) who is now in his care and who, unknown to Cal, is brought alive by the music program

Cal and Fern move in with Cal’s father Jake Peterson (Andy Griffith) which provides another sub plot.

Also Cal despite himself begins to fall for music teacher Lily Waite (Naomi Judd) and following a long review, Cal is forced to conclude that the only way to save the funds is to eliminate the music program.

It is only at the final concert, before Lily must leave her job, the music program is saved by generous donations, and Cal sees Fern perform.

Not a dry eye in the house, wonderful stuff.

MY FAVOURITE THINGS AT XMAS # 3

 

Hearing the Church bells and sleigh bells ringing

Midnight mass worship with Carol singing

Singing in praise of the King of Kings

These are a few of my favourite things

EVER SO HUMBLE

 

When toward my bed I stumble

My wife greets me with a grumble

“Hello my little apple crumble”

I say as in her nightgown I fumble

My advances are met with a mumble

“Dearest, my desire is quite humble

A little bit of rough and tumble”

Her reply is yet another mumble

But we did have a Christmas fumble

CHRISTMAS IS THE PERFECT TIME

 

Christmas is the perfect time

For the perfect Christmas rhyme

So when the bells of Christmas chime

Have the happiest Christmas time

THE LESSER OF TWO EVILS

 

Last year at the Christmas fair

I reached for my wallet and it wasn’t there

I was going to report my cards stolen

But I didn’t bother I must declare

As the thieves spent considerably less

Than my extravagant wife Claire

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE HEART OF CHRISTMAS

 

Julie (Jeanne Neilson) and Austin Locke (Eric Jay Beck) are devastated when they learn their young son, Dax, has cancer.

Their story is told through the eyes of Megan Walsh (Candace Cameron Bure) a busy wife and mother who reads Julie’s blog about the time spent at St Jude’s hospital.

As she reads the blog she learns to put her own life into perspective while the Locke’s have to face the fact that their son is going to die and that he won’t live until Christmas, but with courage, determination and faith, they give Dax one last Christmas, even if it is in October.

You might think the death of a child an unusual component for a Christmas story but far from being morbid it is an uplifting story which makes you think.

MY FAVOURITE THINGS AT XMAS # 2

 

Mulled wine and eggnog, a schooner of sherry

Baileys and Babycham to keep the girls merry

Singing along as Bing Crosby sings

These are a few of my favourite things

THE GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS PAST

 

On the north winds they come

Blown in on Decembers icy blast

Unwelcome visitors come calling

The ghosts of Christmas past

 

Creeping in with happier memories

Standing out in stark contrast

Sad memories best forgotten

The ghosts of Christmas past

CHRISTMAS IS OUR FAVOURITE CELEBRATION

 

Christmas is our favourite celebration

In fact it is the most special occasion

A time to express what is in our hearts

The moment the festive season starts

For we have the most heartfelt wish

For those whose love we truly cherish.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE CHRISTMAS PAGEANT

 

When temperamental Broadway director Vera Parks (Melissa Gilbert) is fired from yet another job, she has become unemployable in Manhattan so when she gets an offer to direct a Christmas pageant somewhere upstate, she has no alternative but to take the gig.

But she comes into conflict with all the cast, who are all traditionalists, when Vera wants to change everything.

She is also reacquainted with former beau Jack Harmon (Robert Mailhouse) which she was not expecting, and the former love is slowly rekindled as the rehearsals continue and then she begins to form relationships with the cast and understanding of each other’s points of views and appreciation of their positions lead to compromises being made.

MY FAVOURITE THINGS AT XMAS # 1

Baubles and bells and candlelight glows

Bright coloured parcels tied up with bows

Candy and spices and popcorn on strings

These are a few of my favourite things

DECEMBER REMEMBRANCES

 

Every year during the festivities

I remember friends and family

Those who are no longer with us

To celebrate another Christmas

And with each passing December

It seems there are more to remember

But I take time in equal measure

To enjoy each moment and to treasure

Those special ones who are still here

Whose number also grows year on year

CHRISTMAS CHILL

 

Enjoy your Christmas day in peace

Avoid any kind of quarrel or wrangle

Chill out, relax and enjoy the day

And don’t get your tinsel in a tangle

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – NAUGHTY AND NICE

 

The Pepper and Spice radio show in Los Angeles was a popular and edgy phone in show but cynical Pepper Sterling (Tilky Jones) oversteps the mark and upsets one of the stations major sponsors and is banished to a sister station in rural Colorado town.

He was assigned to co-host a show with a "love doctor" Sandra Love (Haylie Duff), who is a hopeless romantic.

Pepper was unhappy with being second banana on a hick show in the back of beyond and wasn’t backwards in coming forward about letter people know as a result they have a spat live on air which gets them off on the wrong foot and their antagonistic relationship gets the whole town talking.

At first the two mix like oil and water but their on-air bickering becomes popular and, inevitably, they start to like each other and like soon leads to love.

MOTHER CHRISTMAS

 

The birth of Christ

Is the reason for the day

Santa Claus does his part

In his magical way

Rudolf and the other reindeer

Pull the loaded sleigh

Decorations and lights

Put Christmas on display

And festive songs and carols

Have a part to play

But it takes a mother

To make it a very special day

FULL OF THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

 

Come Christmas day

I will be full of Christmas spirit

Buck fizz with my breakfast

Is only the start of it

Then a sherry with the vicar

After the candles have been lit

And aperitif before lunch

Maybe Vodka or a Gin and it

Wine with every course

Brandy when the pudding is lit

Liqueur with coffee

Then more brandy as we sit

Then when the day is over

I whish shoe a ferry Hacky Fhrismit

MY CHRISTMAS FRIEND (Acrostic)

Merry Christmas

Yuletide friend

 

Cherished memories of

Heartfelt love and

Remembered moments

Instantly recalled

Special moments of

Time spent together

Merry Christmas’s

And happy new years

Special friend of mine

 

For me always

Remembering your smile

Instantly helps me

Each time I’m down at

Not being with you

During the season

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – LOST LETTER MYSTERIES FOR CHRISTMAS

 

This is the endearing tale of the postal service’s four musketeers of the Dead Letter Office, the beloved quartet of post office detectives, with a duty to deliver every last letter before Christmas.

Oliver O'Toole (Eric Mabius) and his team, Shane McInerney (Kristin Booth), Rita Haywith (Crystal Lowe) and Norman Dorman (Geoff Gustafson), are working around the clock to redirect Santa’s mail and with the assistance and a little guidance from a mysterious post office volunteer, Jordan (Rob Estes) they clear all the back log by the end of December 23rd.

The whole group then all attend the Christmas formal before they head off on their separate ways to spend their Christmas’s alone where they receive an emotional last-minute plea addressed to God, so they must delay their own travel plans to make sure one little girl doesn’t lose her Christmas joy.

And as they work tirelessly to make the little girl’s wish come true Oliver runs into his former Sunday school teacher (Marion Ross) and the true identity of the mysterious Jordan is revealed and the quartet discover love right under their noses.

FESTIVE FEELING

 

Christmas is the time for living

Spreading love with the gift giving

So at the festive time of year

Fill your heart with Christmas cheer

WRITTEN WARNING

 

Beware of what you write

In your Christmas letter to Santa

Ask yourself if you’ve been good

But be honest when you answer

If you’re naughty and say you’re nice

Santa may erupt with laughter

He may even laugh so violently

That you end up killing Santa

PREPARING THE BIRD

 

The best way to prepare

Your turkey this Christmas

Is to keep it simple

To minimize the fuss

To my way of thinking

The best method to apply

Is just be straight

And say “Turkey, you’re going to die”

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CHRISTMAS IN CONWAY

 

To most of the inhabitants of Conway, South Carolina, Duncan Mayor (Andy Garcia) is a bad tempered grouch, but to his wife, Suzy Mayor (Mary-Louise Parker) he was a doting pussycat.

And he has more reason than normal to be cranky because Suzy is dying and has arrived home from the hospital to be cared for 24/7 by Nurse Natalie Springer (Mandy Moore), whom Duncan resents for being there and tries his best to ignore her.

He also singles out landscape gardener Tommy Harris (Riley Smith) for special treatment while he is working on the neighbour’s garden.

But Duncan begrudging employs Tommy to help him set up a Ferris Wheel in his own back yard as a special Christmas present for Suzy and the significance of the gift was that it was while riding one many years earlier that Duncan asked Suzy to marry him.

Neighbour Gayle Matthews (Cheri Oteri) is the only fly in the ointment who manages to the construction halted.

But the ex-carnival worker, Henry (Mark Jeffrey Miller), who Duncan bought the Ferris Wheel from comes to the rescue to finish the job with his crew.

This is a wonderful story full of tears and laughter in equal measure and Mary-Louise Parker puts in another trademark performance in a very memorable Christmas story of enduring love.

BE ON YOUR GUARD

 

Be on your guard

Wherever you go

Tread very carefully

You could even tip toe

But if you don’t take heed

And don’t watch where you go

You may get caught

Beneath the mistletoe

COUNT ON IT

 

If you are constantly worrying

About overindulging

During the festive season

Then there really is no reason

It is a well-known fact you see

That you can fully enjoy the festivities

And relax and not stress or fuss

Because calories don't count at Christmas

IFS AND BUTS

If ifs, and buts and maybes

Were chocs and nuts and candies

Then you would have to concede

You’d have a wonderful Christmas indeed

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – SNOWED IN AT ROSEMONT

 

Twenty three year old Lisa (Ayla Kell) is pregnant and running away from the baby’s father Craig (Lochlyn Munro).

She is travelling on the bus to Denver when she hears that the road ahead is closed due to snow and is going back the way they came.

But at a diner she overhears Brad (Brendan Michael Coughlin), a professional snowboarder, talking to his girlfriend on the phone about his plan to drive over the mountain in his 4 x 4 so she asks for a ride.

They make good progress initially but a blizzard over takes them and Brad's car slams into a snow bank in the middle of the wilderness.

They are forced to seek shelter at the only sign of civilization that they had seen in the last ten miles, the Rosemont Lodge.

Which was once a vibrant year-round resort, but the Rosemont Lodge had been closed for nearly 20 years.

Most of the Lodge has been sealed up and only a corner of the main building shows any sign of habitation.

As they approached the building they are greeted by the lodge's owner, Josephine (Grace Zabriskie), who is brandishing a shotgun, and her retainer Abe (Brad Dourif) who persuades her to let them in out of the snow.

Josephine used to be the heart and soul of the resort, her personality, and her cooking, were as much of an attraction as were the hundreds of acres of pristine mountain wilderness but as a result of personal tragedy she closed the resort and became a recluse. 

However having Brad and a heavily pregnant Lisa about the place it has a thawing effect on Josephine and after she and Abe deliver the baby a bond is formed that has a lasting effect.

 

This is a very enjoyable Christmas tale in which Grace Zabriskie is the absolute star of the show as Josephine but Brad Dourif runs a close second as Abe.

ITS CHRISTMAS WHEN

 

Its Christmas when

Outside its cold and snowing

But away from the cold

Malls are full to overflowing

And all the children’s faces

Are happy and glowing

 

ITS CHRISTMAS when

Noddy Holder screams

Its Christmas when

Its time to fulfil dreams

When life just may be

As wonderful as it seems

 

Its Christmas when

All the gifts are picked

The cards are written

The stamps are licked

And all the Christmas lists

Have all been neatly ticked

 

Its Christmas when

All are safely home within

Everything has been prepared

The kiddies are all tucked in

Then mums and dads sit back

And festivities can begin

CHRISTMAS, CHRISTMAS

 

Christmas, Christmas,

A time of peace and joy

When God gave us his son

Jesus the holy infant boy

But kids don’t think of Jesus

They just want the latest toy

 

Christmas, Christmas,

When God gave us a saviour

A redeemer for all the world

Now it is the season of plethora

When the rich can feel richer

And the poor just feel the poorer

 

Christmas, Christmas,

God was your sacrifice in vain

When you gave the world your son

Only to see his body slain

If only we had not lost our way

Will we be better when he comes again?

CHRISTMAS IS THE HARDEST TIME

 

Christmas is the hardest time

When in the bosom of kith and kin

Amidst the exited chatter

And rustle of discarded paper

Punctuated by the joyous laughter of children

And over exited grown ups

I made all the right noises

As I wore my painful smile

I opened my presents when prompted

“Oh isn’t that lovely” I cooed

“That’s just what I wanted” I lied

But what I actually wanted

Was to be somewhere else

Where there was no need of false delight

Or insincere thankful exclamations

Anywhere else but there

They are well meaning souls

Who thought to help me,

By including my in their joyous celebrations

But they don’t understand my grief

Or the empty ache of a shattered heart

Each innocent Christmas ritual cut me like a knife

The familiar songs, once loved, now hurt

And each merry Christmas was a fresh cut

Losing you, my partner in life

Was like having a conjoined twin cut away

And among that happy crowd

My loneliness was most keenly felt

When all the excitement died away

I sat in silent contemplation

When sweet memories of happier days

Flooded into my mind to torture me

I hide it from the crowd

Keeping the pain and sorrow within

But so intertwined were our lives

I am left incomplete

I am in torment every day for the want of you

But Christmas is the hardest time

 

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT (2013)

 

Charlotte Hart (Nicollette Sheridan), a distinguished journalist, has moved back to her home town and is living with her brother’s family.

However just before Christmas a real estate developer, Daniel Huntslar (Bart Johnson) approaches the small town with a very lucrative offer.

However Charlotte is skeptical and as she’s a journalist her nose tells her there’s a real scoop, so she drives to see the real estate company boss to question him, however while en route she has a terrible car accident and wakes up in the hospital only to realize that her body is in a coma, but her spirit is very much awake.

She then meets another spirit who just happens to be the greedy developer who was the driver of the other car involved in the crash and he too is in a coma.

In the five days before the big vote on the proposed development Charlotte must try to change the minds of the town’s people as well as her fellow spirit.

FAIRY ON THE TREE

 

Fairy, fairy on the tree

Why do you look so glum?

Is it the Christmas Blues?

To which you have succumbed

Is that what makes you sad

Or the needles up your bum