Sunday, 5 February 2017

Tales from the Finchbottom Vale – (24) A Curious St Stephens Day

(Part 01)

Edward Carlisle and his brother George shared a flat in Jubilee Court, in Sharpington, they were twins, though not identical.
George was tall and blonde while Edward was shorter and darker.
In fact the only things they had in common were blue eyes and a surname.
In every other way they differed and the best way to sum them up would be to say that Edward had a heart and a brain whereas George possessed neither.

On Boxing Day they were invited to their Parents house in Brocklington for the day so they set off from the flat just after breakfast and stopped briefly by the pier to pick up George’s girlfriend Emily Clive, and as they pulled up to the curb side Edward had mixed feelings about taking her with them.
Emily wore her unruly red hair tied in a kind of loose arrangement on top of her head which gave the impression that she was taller than she actually was which she liked because she was only 4 foot 11.
Her mode of dress could best be described as interesting and there was nothing that could be in any way considered to be subdued in her apparel.
Emily generally went for the Tomboy look which she managed to pull off very well.
On St Stephens Day she wore a white sweater beneath a garishly bright multi-coloured striped coat, Yellow skinny trousers and Red converse shoes and she was dripping with jewellery, she loved jewellery, and Edward loved her.
Which was the reason for his mixed feelings.
Emily had lovely laughing green eyes which narrowed when she smiled, which was often, and her smile illuminated her face and that morning was no exception.

There was a house full at the Carlisle’s and they had a great day at their mums but due to a mix up between him and George as to who the designated driver was, they both got pissed and had to stay the night.
This caused a bit of a reshuffle on the accommodation front due to their mother’s insistence that George and Emily sleep in separate rooms.
Not just because there mother was a good Christian woman but for the simple reason that she didn’t think George could be relied upon not to disgrace himself and ravish Emily under her roof.
Then she proceeded to question Edwards’s manhood by saying that she would trust him to behave if she was his girlfriend.
Little did she know that he would have ravished Emily at the drop of a hat if she’d let him.

The result of the reshuffle meant that Emily shared the spare room with Cousin Lily while Edward was forced to endure his brother’s constant snoring and farting as they each slept on a sofa in the lounge.
Edward found it difficult to drop off, partly because of George and his horrendous snoring but also because his head was full of images of George’s girlfriend.
After tossing and turning for about an hour his attempts to drop off were further frustrated by an acute need to pee so he got up and tiptoed his way upstairs to the loo and relieved himself.

(Part 02)

Edward was yawning as he left the bathroom and stepped back onto the landing not really paying attention to what he was doing and he subsequently bumped into Emily coming the other way, who pushed him back into the bathroom and planted a wet sensual kiss on his lips.
“We shouldn’t be doing this” he said coming up for air
“Why? You were enjoying it” Emily said and kissed him anew
“That’s not the point” he protested
“So you admit you were enjoying it” she said “so let’s do it again”
“We mustn’t” he insisted and opened some distance between them
“But it’s really nice” Emily said wistfully
“I know but we can’t be doing it anymore” he said indignantly
“I know you like me” she continued as she sat on the side of the bath
“I’ve seen you looking at me when you think no one’s looking”
“Ah” he exclaimed and sat on the loo.
Emily had been going out with George for about three months and Edward fell in love with her the instant he brought her home.
But the thought never crossed his mind to do anything about it, he had a strong moral compass and you didn’t do things like that, it wasn’t cricket, even if his brother didn’t deserve her.
So he just worshipped her from afar.
“I’m sorry” he said
“Why are you sorry?” she asked
“For being too weak” he replied “I had no right to fall for you”
“I don’t think you’re weak” Emily said “Far from it, a weak person wouldn’t have stopped me kissing them”
“Maybe” he conceded
“Your brother wouldn’t have stopped” Emily added
“I’m not my brother” he pointed out
“I realize that only too well” she said and stood up
“I’d better go, but this is for Christmas” she said and kissed him gently
“Merry Christmas”

He went back downstairs and tried to sleep but he found it even more difficult after his encounter with Emily than he did before.
“This is a real Christmas surprise” he thought as he lay wide awake with only his brothers snoring for company.
When George rolled over onto his side he let out a ripping fart which was followed a minute or so later by a cloud of noxious gas which drifted over him and was so foul he decided to leave the room and take sanctuary in the kitchen.

He walked out into the hall and turned towards the kitchen and just as he reached the kitchen door a voice from behind said
“Hello again”
He turned around to see Emily sitting on the stairs.
“Hi Emily” he said “Are you stalking me?”
“Would you mind?” she asked
“No comment, do you want a drink?” he said and went into the kitchen and Emily followed on behind.

He made the drinks and sat down at the table opposite her.
“So you can’t sleep either then” he said
“I’m afraid not”
“Something on your mind” he asked
“Something” she agreed but didn’t elaborate so he didn’t pursue it any further.
But after five minutes she asked
“Would you ask me out if I wasn’t spoken for?”
“If you weren’t going out with George I would ask you in a heartbeat”
He replied

(Part 03)

“Would you ask me out if I wasn’t spoken for?” Emily asked
“If you weren’t going out with George I would ask you in a heartbeat”
He replied
“Why?” Emily added
“Why would I ask you out?” he said
“Where do I start? your hair, your eyes, your smile, your laugh but most of all your heart”
Emily gave him a dazzling smile when he had finished his catalogue and said
“I’ve broken up with him”
“What?” he asked
“We broke up” she replied
“When?”
“Last week”
“But why?”
“Well partly because he was shagging my friend Rosie” she replied “or my ex best friend Rosie I should say”
“Was he?” he asked in disbelief
“You didn’t know then?”
“No I didn’t, honestly” he said “he wouldn’t tell me something like that because he knows I’d disapprove”
“No, that’s because you are a better human being” she said proudly
“I don’t know about that” Edward said “What was the rest of the reason?”
“What?”
“You said George and Rosie was only part of the reason”
“Oh yes I see” she said “well mostly I broke up with him because he wasn’t you”
Edward couldn’t believe his ears, did those words really come out of her mouth, it wasn’t possible that she was really attracted to him.
“So if you broke up with him last week why did you still come today?” he asked
“Because you’re here” she replied and walked around the table and sat on his lap and kissed him.
It was a long and lingering kiss and when it was over he enjoyed it so much he was feeling guilty.
“Does George know?”
“Yes” she said eager to resume
“So why didn’t he say something?” he asked “He’s crap at keeping secrets”
“Because I told him I’d cut his balls off if he did, especially if it spoiled my chances” she replied and kissed him again before he could speak anymore.
The prolonged kiss showed no sign of abating until a voice said
“What’s going on in here then?”
It was Cousin Lily who Emily was sharing the spare room with.
“She’s just wishing me a Happy Christmas?” Edward said
“Result” Lily remarked
She poured herself a glass of water and said
“I’ll leave you two alone”
“Good because I want to wish him a Happy New Year now” Emily replied
“I think that’s guaranteed” Edward said

They left his mums shortly after breakfast and had a clear run back to Sharpington.
Edward was driving and Emily rode shotgun while a rather fragile Feeling George lay snoring and farting on the back seat.
It was a very quiet and uneventful journey home with both of them lost in their own thoughts.
When they got back to Sharpington they had a quiet dozy day of television and slobbery at Emily’s parent’s bungalow on the sea front.
They were invited back to Brocklington for a New Year’s Eve party at his mum’s house but they decided on a different way to see the New Year in and retired early and made gentle tender love from one year to the next.

Friday, 3 February 2017

Downshire Diary – (29) The Girl in the Maternity Dress

(Part 01)

It was Christmas Eve and it was understandably busy as Steve Berry stood behind the bar drying glasses and he watched his wife Holly as she walked around the lounge bar talking to the customers as was her usual habit.
He liked it as she walked from table to table, he liked the way the flared skirt moved across her lovely legs and found it quite sensual, she had a less graceful gait than she used to, but Steve still felt a great sense of pride that he was her husband and plus the additional pride that Holly was pregnant, very pregnant in fact.
It had been two years since they had met and she had changed the course of his life entirely.

It was Christmas again and Steve Berry had always had a dislike for it, despite all the jollity.
Unlike many of his Christmas mad friends he’d had no happy Christmas memories to anesthetise him against the season.
His childhood Christmases were memories he would rather have forgotten.
So he never trusted Christmas, he believed that shit lurked beneath the coloured lights and paper chains.
That was until Holly Davis opened his eyes to new possibilities and he realised that Christmas could also magnify joy and through her love Steve had been cured of his Christmas phobia.

After an excess of alcohol and some sneakiness from Holly he found himself working behind the bar in her Uncle Phil’s pub, the Pig and Whistle in Abbeyvale.
He was still, even to that day, uncertain quite how she managed to affect that, but affect it she did and during the ten days he spent working for her, she had turned his life upside down and it culminated at closing time on Christmas Eve as the church bells at St Mary’s chimed midnight, with him wishing her a Merry Christmas and kissing her.
Judging by the way Holly responded Steve hoped that the kiss on Christmas Eve might have been the start of something between them but alas for him it didn’t lead anywhere, immediately at any rate.
Holly had indeed responded to his advance and in fact had been hoping for it, but she knew it was far too soon to throw caution to the wind.
The effects of the kiss proved to be a slow burner which didn’t burst into flames until the early hours of New Year’s Day.

The two years since they first made love, had been very eventful, they became partners in January, engaged at Easter and Married in September.
However it wasn’t only Steve and Holly’s fortunes that had changed over the preceding two years since they had met but so had those of the Pig and Whistle.
It had gone from a rundown dive with one large open bar to a thriving pub with a sports bar, a games room and a smart lounge plus it had a growing reputation as a gastro pub.
The restaurant had always been busy right from the outset but when Steve and Stephanos were in the kitchen, they provided good pub grub and no more, because they didn’t have the repertoire to take it to the next level.
However since Steve and Holly had returned from their Sharpington honeymoon the previous year with Chef Simon Clarke the restaurant had really taken off.

(Part 02)

Simon Clarke had been working at the Granite Hill Country House Hotel where the Berry’s were staying for their honeymoon as a sous chef for an arrogant sadistic bully.
Now he was a Chef in his own right and Steve and Stephanos had grown as cooks under him.
So the reputation of the Pig and Whistles restaurant contributed greatly to the busyness on Christmas Eve.

So on Christmas Eve and Holly, despite being told to rest by Steve and everybody else, was doing her usual walkabout as hostess and as Steve looked at her he sighed because he was so in love with the lovely girl in the maternity dress.

Just like Christmas Eve two years before it was snowing, not as hard, but enough not to want to make any unnecessary journeys.
She had had a twinge or two which she just laughed it off, she said the baby had been really active all day.
“She’s dancing to the Christmas songs” she said to Steve “she really likes the Puppini Sisters”
But by 9 o’clock in the evening it was obvious the twinges were more than the baby Christmas Dancing and she was having actually having contractions.
Luckily Dr Claire Andrews was dining in the restaurant with friends
“Get Doc Andrews” Steve said to Petra
“Ok” she replied and ran off while Steve and one of the regulars helped Holly into the private room at the back of the bar.

“Where is she?” The doctor asked
“In here” Steve called
Dr Andrews threw her car keys to Petra
“Can you get my bag from the car please?”
“Yes doc” she replied
“Ooooooh” Holly exclaimed through gritted teeth “that was a big one”
After Dr Andrews examined her she said
“She’s definitely in labour”
“I’ll call an ambulance” Steve suggested
“No she’s too far along” Claire said “the baby is going to be born here, and quite soon”
“I’d be happier if we got her to hospital” Steve said
“So would I” Dr Andrews replied
“But she’ll never make it to the hospital”
“She’s really too close?” Steve asked
“Yes” Claire replied “so under the circumstance, here is going to have to do”
“Upstairs it is then” Steve said “but the first sign of an angel and three wise men and we’re calling an ambulance”

“Christmas is never dull with Holly” he thought to himself as one by one the remainder of happy customers disappeared into the snowy night amidst a peel of Happy Christmas wishes.
“I have to give her that”

Steve looked out the door as he said goodnight to the last customer and it was still snowing but still not hard.
He locked the doors and went back inside to where the live in staff were sitting, no one wanted to go to bed until the baby had been born.
So they sat around a table in the bar until half past one when Noelle Claire Berry was born.
“How typical of Holly Berry to have the baby on Christmas Day” Steve said with tears in his eyes.

Thursday, 2 February 2017

Downshire Diary – (15) The Girl in the Green Dress

(Part 01)

Steve Berry had always had a distinct dislike for Christmas, in fact he hated everything about it, despite all the jollity and faux fun because unlike many of his Christmas mad friends he had no happy Christmas memories to anesthetise him against the season.
His parents were chronic alcoholics and each year their Christmas came in a bottle and thanks to his ill-tempered father, Steve’s came with a slap, so his childhood Christmases were festive memories he would rather have forgotten.
But adulthood brought no relief from the season and it always seemed to him that when shit happened Christmas just magnified the misery.
If someone died at Christmas the very season makes it more keenly felt and he could testify to that fact as his own mother died on Christmas Eve when he was 19.
He had no idea where his father was and quite frankly he didn’t care he never bothered to show up for the funeral and for all he knew he could have been dead as well.
So as a result he had never trusted Christmas, because he knew that shit lurks beneath the coloured lights and paper chains.
That was until Holly Davis opened his eyes to new possibilities and he realised that Christmas could also magnify joy.

But it wasn’t just Christmases that had always held horrors in his past, so did New Year’s Eve.
Steve wasn’t big on New Year’s Eve, it was not a time that held any deep significance for him and he found the whole idea of it rather pointless, why did people make such a fuss over going from one year to the next, to his mind it was meaningless, and that would have been reason enough for him to dislike it, far apart from the personal memories it evoked.
And the prominent memory was of one New Year’s Eve when he was just six years old that his parents locked him in his room while they went off on a three day bender.
But he had decided to try and put that behind him along with all the other bad memories and with Holly’s help he was hopeful that he might succeed.
Since the first day he met her she had helped him to tame his demons and it all began when Holly Davis temporarily took over running her uncles pub, the Pig and Whistle in Abbeyvale a week and a half before Christmas on Friday the 13th of December, Steve had got blind drunk and ended up spending the night in the lounge bar on one of the bench seats.
When he woke up the next morning with his face stuck to the mock leather of a bench seat and painfully sat himself up she produced a contract he had signed the night before agreeing to work for her at the pub until New Year’s Eve.

(Part 02)

Despite his initial misgivings Steve had thoroughly enjoyed working with Holly at the Pig and whistle and he was still uncertain quite how she managed to affect that, but affect it she did and during the ten days he spent working for her, she had turned his life upside down and it culminated at closing time on Christmas Eve as the church bells at St Mary’s chimed midnight, with him wishing her a Merry Christmas and kissing her.

Because of the snow Steve was unable to get home on Christmas Eve so he spent the night in the spare room and they were then snowed in at the pub for Christmas day as well.
Holly was due to go for Christmas lunch at her cousin’s house but as she lived 30 miles away it was not possible to make the journey safely with the amount of snow that was still laying.
Steve was due to spend the day alone in his flat, not celebrating Christmas at all, but Holly invited him to spend the day with her instead.
After he cooked them lunch and they had watched the Queens Speech Holly cajoled him into unburdening himself about his aversion to the holidays.
That proved to be very revealing and was followed by more food, more drink and finally after exchanging Christmas presents they kissed passionately again.

In the week that followed the first Christmas he and Holly spent together and the first one he had ever celebrated, there was good deal more kissing as day by day they headed inexorably towards New Year’s Eve.
But Steve had a sense of foreboding as the days ticked by as his normal dislike for the occasion was magnified that year because it marked the final day of his contract at the Pig and Whistle and it could also mark the end of Holly’s Tenure at the pub and maybe even their budding relationship.
Holly had completely turned his life upside down and he had fallen hopelessly in love with her and the thought of going back to his old life in the New Year filled him with dread and the notion that he would never see her again was inconceivable but he wasn’t sure how he could prevent any of it happening.

Although he didn’t like it, New Year’s Eve was a very good earner for the pub and as the takings had not been optimised on Christmas Eve due to the snow, added to the fact that the figures had been disappointing in the interim due to the lingering snow and freezing conditions, so a good New Year’s Eve was absolutely vital to stay profitable.
With that in mind Holly and Steve had to spend most of the afternoon at the Cash and Carry stocking up on vital supplies.
“Right that’s the lot Hon” she said

(Part 03)

A good New Year’s Eve was absolutely vital for Holly so with that in mind she and Steve had to spend most of the afternoon at the Cash and Carry stocking up on vital supplies.
“Right that’s the lot Hon” she said
“Are you sure that’s enough?” Steve asked facetiously
“That’s enough lip from you” she said and kissed him, and that simple kiss, was a symbol of their familiarity, and was also a milestone moment for them because although they had kissed many times in that week since Christmas Eve, they had only ever kissed when they were alone and certainly never in public.
“If we sell that lot tonight I’ll be over the moon” she said although there wasn’t any chance that that might actually happen even if they did have an extension until 1.00am but they would give it a try.
Steve normally spent New Year’s Eve at home in self-imposed exile at his flat, watching a DVD and hiding from the world and pretending that New Year’s Eve was just a bad dream but that year with Holly was going to be very different.

At least on New Year’s Eve there were none of the annoyingly jolly Christmas songs, there was only one really annoying New Year’s song and that was usually confined to midnight.
There was a steady trade in the bar, far more than Christmas Eve, but not exactly record breaking numbers, and Steve thought they most of the supplies they had bought earlier at the Cash and Carry, would remain unsold.
But just after 9 o’clock the numbers swelled and continued swelling until the place was absolutely banging.
There were seven of them working that night but only six at any one time behind the bar and they were absolutely rushed off their feet and the till’s never stopped ringing.
The staff and a hard core of the regulars were in fancy dress for the occasion.
Debbie was a French maid, Stephanos was in a toga, Clare was a Witch, Ausra was a Gypsy, Petra was a clown and Steve was a pirate, while Holly, as was her custom, was dressed immaculately, and on that occasion she was dressed as the Emerald Lady in a wonderful green dress adorned with a garland of holly leaves and around her neck was the holly leaf pendant that Steve gave her for Christmas.
By the end of the night, which absolutely flew by, he had to admit that he hadn’t enjoyed a New Year’s Eve more in his life, even though his feet were killing him.
When the last of the punters had been ushered out the door and the bolt shot at 1.25 am, Holly said
“Thank God for that, put the kettle on” and then she kicked off her shoes.
Everyone pulled together and gathered up all the glasses and cleared them to the kitchen and then Steph and Clare brought out the drinks on a tray
“Where are the others?” Holly asked
“They’re loading the glasses into the machine” Clare replied “You know what Steve’s like”
“Tell them not to worry” she said “We’ll do it in the morning”
Holly frowned and then corrected herself
“We’ll do it in later this morning”

(Part 04)

So they all sat together drinking their tea and coffee and laughing at the exploits of one or two of the more enthusiastic punters but very soon there was only Holly and Steve left
“Do you want another tea?” he asked
“I’d rather have a proper drink” she replied “You could join me if you’re staying over”
He nodded and went behind the bar and returned shortly with two glasses of wine and as they sat together drinking she said
“My feet are so sore”
“Put them up here then” he said tapping his knee “I’ll rub them for you if you want”
“Oh yes please” she said and put both stocking feet on his knee
“Hold up” he said “one at a time”
Holly laughed and put one foot down.
“Oh that’s really lovely” she said as Steve began massaging her little foot and that was all he got out of her for the next twenty minutes until he was halfway through her other foot when she said.
“You’re a free man now”
“What do you mean?” Steve asked
“The contract” she said
“It was only up to and including New Year’s Eve it’s now New Year’s Day so you are free to return to your old life”
“Good” he said sharply and Holly baulked at the force of the word.
“Because now I am here because I want to be”
And Holly’s face broke into a broad smile and took her foot off his lap so she could kiss him.

They made love for the first time in the early hours of New Year’s Day and as they lay entwined in the semi darkness Holly said.
“We make a good team, I think we could run this place together”
“What about Phil?” Steve asked
“Ah I may have misled you regarding Uncle Phil” she confessed
“In what way?”
“He’s not coming back” Holly said
“Why not?” Steve asked
“He’s ill” Holly replied sadly
“Really? How ill?”
“The “he won’t see another Christmas kind” of ill”
“Oh” he responded sadly “so he’s not on holiday?”
“No” she admitted “I am in the process of buying the pub from him”
“That’s a big step” he said
“I know” she agreed “but I have years of experience in Hospitality and you’re a good accountant”
“Oh I see, so you only want me for my numeracy” he said
“No I only want you for your foot rubs” Holly corrected him
“Ok then it’s a deal” he said
“Are you sure?” she asked “We will have to celebrate all the holidays”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything” he replied and they sealed the deal with a kiss which was a prelude to them making love again, but Steve paused briefly and said
“You do realize what would happen if we were to marry?”
“What’s that?” she said pleasantly surprised that his thoughts had already strayed to the possibility of marriage
“You would become Holly Berry”
“I could live with that” she said and brought the discourse to a passionate conclusion.

Tuesday, 31 January 2017

Downshire Diary – (14) The Girl in the Christmas Dress

(Part 01)

Steve Berry had always had a distinct dislike for Christmas, in fact he hated everything about it, despite all the jollity and faux fun because unlike many of his Christmas mad friends he had no happy Christmas memories to anesthetise him against the season.
His parents were chronic alcoholics and each year their Christmas came in a bottle and thanks to his ill-tempered father, Steve’s came with a slap, so his childhood Christmases were festive memories he would rather have forgotten.
But adulthood brought no relief from the season and it always seemed to him that when shit happened Christmas just magnified the misery.
If someone died at Christmas the very season makes it more keenly felt and he could testify to that fact as his own mother died on Christmas Eve when he was 19.
He had no idea where his father was and quite frankly he didn’t care he never bothered to show up for the funeral and for all he knew he could have been dead as well.
So as a result he had never trusted Christmas, because he knew that shit lurks beneath the coloured lights and paper chains.
That was until Holly Davis opened his eyes to new possibilities and he realised that Christmas could also magnify joy.

After an excess of alcohol and some sneakiness from Holly he found himself working behind the bar in her Uncle Phil’s pub, the Pig and Whistle in Abbeyvale.
He was still uncertain quite how she managed to affect that, but affect it she did and during the ten days he spent working for her, she had turned his life upside down and it culminated at closing time on Christmas Eve as the church bells at St Mary’s chimed midnight, with him wishing her a Merry Christmas and kissing her.
Judging by the way Holly responded Steve hoped that the kiss on Christmas Eve might have been the start of something between them but alas for him it didn’t lead anywhere.
Holly had indeed responded to his advance and in fact had been hoping for it, but she knew it was far too soon to throw caution to the wind.
There were scabs as yet unpicked regarding Steve Berry that needed to be attended to before she completely let down her guard.
Holly considered him to be a work in progress she thought he had potential but he still needed work but there was certainly hope for him, but he was progressing nonetheless.

The other event that occurred on Christmas Eve was a prolonged fall of snow which resulted in them being snowed in.
Holly was due to go to lunch at her cousin’s house but as she lived 30 miles away it was not possible to make the journey safely with the amount of snow that was still laying.
Steve was due to spend the day alone in his flat, not celebrating Christmas at all, but Holly invited him to spend the day with her instead as he hadn’t risked driving home the night before.
He would have been quite happy to have slept on one of the bench seats in the lounge bar as he had once before, but Holly insisted he use the spare room.
So that was how Steve Berry came to celebrate his first ever Christmas and why he was sitting at the bar nursing a cup of coffee in the clothes he had been wearing the night before.

(Part 02)

It was as a result of them being snowed in at the Pig and Whistle on Christmas Eve which led to Steve Berry celebrating his first ever Christmas at the age of 30 and why he was sitting at the bar nursing a cup of coffee in the clothes he had been wearing the night before.
“Morning” he said as Holly appeared behind the bar
“Happy Christmas” Holly said and reached over and kissed his cheek.
Now it was not the kiss he was hoping for and it was not possessed of the passion that accompanied the embrace of the night before but that simple peck on the cheek held within it something very special, and that was hope.
“God its cold in here” she said
“Yes, there was a power cut during the night and it knocked the boiler out” he said
“I’ve relit it but it’ll take a while to warm the place up”
“This was not the Christmas day I had in mind” Holly said putting the collar of her dressing gown up
“Nor me” he added
She was supposed to be dining on a sumptuous feast at her cousin’s house, while he was supposed to be in self-imposed exile at his flat pretending that Christmas was just a bad dream.
“Do you want a drink?” he asked
“Oh yes please” she replied and Steve got up and went to the kitchen returning a few minutes later with a steaming mug of tea
“Thanks hon” she said and winced at her involuntary over familiarization and quickly went on.
“I don’t know what we are going to eat today” Holly said
“We will need to ferret in the freezer”
“I didn’t know ferret was traditional Christmas fare” Steve said “but I’m no expert on Christmas.
“You know what I mean” she said smiling “Can you cook?”
“A bit” he replied
“Good because I’m rubbish” Holly admitted
Steve actually undersold himself when he said he could cook a bit
He could in fact cook very well, exceptionally well.

Steve not being a traditionalist or a fan of the season could certainly make something out of what was on hand in the kitchen.
Holly however wanted to have a roast lunch, with all the trimmings, but after they checked the freezer they had to rule out a roast dinner as the joints would never have defrosted in time, and they were too big for the microwave and as they were frozen hard, impossible to cut down to size, but there were alternatives.
The fresh vegetable stores were limited but more than sufficient for two people.
Although she couldn’t cook herself, Holly was determined to help, firstly by peeling the potatoes and carrots and then by getting out of his way so he could get on by taking herself off upstairs to get ready for the day.

While Holly was gone Steve finished preparing the food and when he was done he was very pleased that he had achieved something to suit Holly’s traditional wishes, at least in part.

(Part 03)

Steve Berry had just reached the point where he could safely leave the kitchen and get showered and shaved when Holly reappeared and he was stopped in his tracks.
She looked stunning, her mousy hair, washed and styled was adorned with Christmas slides and she was wearing a white wool dress decorated with poinsettias.
And her shapely legs were covered by black tights with motifs of bows and parcels and as he looked at her from head to toe he thought to himself that he’d like them to be stockings rather than tights, but nice legs were nice legs regardless of what they were sheathed in.
“Wow” Steve exclaimed
“Wow” he said again and Holly blushed
“It’s a Christmas dress you know” she said
“I don’t care” he said “wow”
“But you don’t like Christmas” she pointed out
“It’s growing on me” he said unable to take his eyes off her
“Good” she said “you won’t mind wearing this then”
When would he ever learn, he now had to wear another blessed Christmas sweater.
“Where do you keep getting them from?” he asked
“They’re Uncle Phil’s” she replied “I buy him one every year”
“But I’ve never seen Phil in a Christmas jumper, not ever” Steve said
“No nor of I” Holly agreed

Steve went upstairs, showered and shaved and returned to find Holly had laid a table in the lounge bar, complete with festive serviettes, candles, party poppers and crackers.
On the CD player the Puppini Sisters were in full voice and his natural aversion to Christmas music was tempered by the fact that he caught Holly singing and dancing along with the music.
He stayed out of sight in the doorway so he could enjoy the spectacle as long as possible.
When she eventually became aware of him she blushed redder than the poinsettias on her dress.
“How long have you been standing there?” she said suddenly flustered and began fussing with the table.
“Long enough” Steve replied
“You should have said something” Holly said as she headed towards the kitchen still flushed red
“What and spoil the show” he replied as he followed close behind her and chuckled.

Holly carried on with the table while Steve checked the oven and ten minutes later he was transferring everything to serving dishes which Holly took to the table.
All he had left to do was make the gravy and get the Yorkshire puddings out of the oven.
Christmas dinner was as traditional as he could manage given the limits of the provisions available but it was Holly’s turn to say “Wow” as he served Chicken breast wrapped in bacon, served with Roast potatoes, roast parsnips, carrots, peas, stuffing and Yorkshire pudding.
“What no starters” she said tongue in cheek
Holly lit the candles and Steve opened the wine, then they pulled the crackers and she made him wear a paper hat.
For desert he served apple pie and ice cream after which they watched the Queens speech.

(Part 04)

As soon as the Queens speech was over Holly switched off the TV
“What now?” he asked
“Now we sit and talk” She replied
“You mean “talk”” Steve said
“Yes”
“Do we have to” He said “It’s been such a lovely day”
“How are we supposed to learn about each other if we don’t talk?”
Holly replied
“So what do you want to know?” he said resignedly
“You’re childhood” Holly said with great interest
“What about it?” he replied
“Well, it’s not just Christmas that was unhappy was it”
“No it wasn’t” he replied and Holly settled back to let him unburden himself
“It wasn’t just Christmas, it was New Year’s, Easter, Halloween and birthdays”
He paused and took a drink
“You see my parents were alcoholics, when I was young they managed to somehow keep it under control and were functioning alcoholics, they held down jobs and to the outside world they seemed normal.
But once I got to school age I pretty much raised myself, which is how I came to learn to cook, because if I didn’t cook I didn’t eat”
They had spent a very pleasant Christmas day together, snowed in at the pub, the last thing he wanted to do was regurgitate the unpleasant moments of his life, particularly as he had been doing his best to forget them.
But once he started he couldn’t stop and by the end of it he was exhausted as they sat in the gathering darkness.
Holly was largely quiet throughout and just added the odd word of encouragement and support.
Holly broke the short period of silence.
“How do you feel?”
“Surprisingly good” he responded

However, despite his feeling unburdened by the lengthy afternoon revelations there was an awkward silence in the aftermath, so Steve disappeared down to the kitchen to make them both a snack.
He wondered if he should have held back and if he had unnerved Holly with his total honesty.
“I should have drip fed her” he said as he walked around the kitchen “Let her absorb it and then I could have said more, but no, you had to blurt out every sordid detail of your pathetic life and now she probably thinks you’re a nut job”
When he had finished with the rant and the snack he put it on a tray and carried it upstairs to the lounge where Holly greeted his arrival with a smile, but not a nervous smile, it was a kindly open smile, from someone happy to see him return.

“God that was good” Holly said after consuming the snack he had prepared with relish.
“Every cloud has a silver lining” he said referring to the reason that he had learned to cook in the first place.
“There is always a positive in life” Holly said sagely “you just have to look for it”
“Well that’s what I plan to do” he said and cleared the plates away
“I’ll pour us another drink” He added

(Part 05)

When Steve returned to the lounge Holly was sitting on the sofa with a Christmas present on her lap and she was smiling broadly.
“Happy Christmas” she said as she handed him the gift
“What’s this?” he asked
“Well open it and find out” Holly answered
“I wasn’t expecting a present” Steve said and sat down beside her on the sofa and squeezed the package
“Oh no not another Christmas sweater” he said and Holly giggled as he tore the paper open.
But when he had removed all the paper and unfolded its contents he saw that although it was indeed a sweater, it was not a novelty Christmas one like those she had made him wear for the previous ten days but a plain blue one in cashmere.
“That’s fantastic” he said enthusiastically “I love it
“Try it on then” Holly insisted and stood up
Holly took hold of the new one while Steve removed the one he was wearing and then they swapped.
As Steve pulled the cashmere over his head Holly held the novelty one he had just removed up to her nose and inhaled his scent.
“That looks great” she said when he had put it on
“It feels it” he said “can I keep it on?”
“Yes” she said and held the other one to her breast and he walked over to the Christmas tree and plunged his hand in between the branches.
It was perhaps testament to the progress that he had made over such a short period of time that he had actually bought her a present, which he removed from its hiding place and said
“Happy Christmas”
“When did you put that there?” she asked in amazement
“This morning” Steve replied
“That was sneaky” Holly said and ripped the paper off like a mad woman until she was left with a little blue presentation box embossed with gold relief.
She looked at it in wide eyed wonder, it was jewelry, he had bought her jewelry and from a quality jeweler’s.
Holly took a deep breath and then opened the box and then she gasped.
“It’s lovely” she said as she took it out the box and held the gold pendant in her hand.
It was in the shape of a holly leaf and it had her name engraved on it.
“I love it, I absolutely love it” she said “put it on for me”
Steve took the pendant from her and when Holly turned her back to him, she reached back and scooped her hair out of the way while he fastened it.
Then she went to the mirror, stood on her tiptoes and looked at herself and admired the pendant.
“I really love it” Holly said and then she let out a squeal as she rushed towards him and then for the second day running they ended the day with a passionate kiss.

Thursday, 26 January 2017

A Jamboree Bag of Christmas # 3

BRUMALIA

In the Roman Empire on the great day of December 25th, came the Brumalia or festival of the shortest day. A day of great religious significance for the sun-worshipers.
This day was also known as Natalis Solus Invicti or the "Birth of the Unconquerable Sun"
This was the time when the day began again to lengthen.
In the fifth century the Western Church ordered Christmas to be celebrated forever on the day of the old Roman feast of the birth of Sol.

SATURNALIA

Saturnalia was a period of the year that was one of great festivity for the pagan Romans.
The four day celebration of Saturnalia began on December 17th with the feast of the god Saturn, the Roman deity of seed and sowing.
"The Roman Saturnalia was characterized by processions, singing, lighting candles, adorning houses with laurels and green trees, giving presents."
Many of these have passed into modern day Christmas celebrations.
A major part of the pagan Saturnalia festival was ritual turning everything upside-down which abolished for a short while the distinction of ranks, a reversal of all order and dignities where slaves were served by masters, soldiers served by their officers, a tradition which is still carried out today in the British armed forces.

TOPSY TURVEY

A major part of the Romans pagan Saturnalia festival, the ritual turning everything upside-down and the temporary loss of the distinction of ranks, a reversal of all order and dignities where slaves were served by masters, soldiers served by their officers passed on into the British Christmas celebrations.
It was probable a remnant of the roman culture left behind when the great empire first shrunk and then fell.
The custom was carried out to great lengths at Christmastime in England during the middle Ages.
It was customary to appoint a "Lord of Misrule" or an "Abbot of Unreason" or even the 'Lord of Merry Disport' who presided over the blasphemous foolery and this appointment was normally made by a significant noble.
However in England an 'Abbot of Misrule' was chosen in every large household though in Scotland it was an 'Abbot of Unreason'.
During the thankfully short term of the festival he was the master of the house.
The church hierarchy frowned upon this Blasphemy but had to put a brave face on it.
Church leaders would certainly not approve of the fact that it was quite customary even for the clergy to indulge in the paganism.
Thankfully the early Puritans who witnessed the jolly antics of the grotesque fools abolished the practise, the only good thing they ever did, and when the puritans lost their power the practise was never revived.
There is still a tradition within the British Armed forces and the Metropolitan Police service where the lower ranks are served Christmas dinner by the officers but that is all that survives.

EPIPHANY

January 5th or twelfth night marks the climax of the Christmas season.
The twelve days of Christmas are counted from December 25th until twelfth night.
The season of Christmas begins with the first Sunday of Advent and concludes with Epiphany.
The period between Christmas day and epiphany is referred to as Christmastide.
Epiphany usually shares the white and gold, colours of Christmas denoting celebration, newness, and hope.
But epiphany has a much more significant meaning to the Christian as it marks the time when the magi were the first gentiles to acknowledge Jesus as "king" and this act of worship by the magi,
Was a message to the world that Jesus came for all people, of all nations, of all races, and of all faiths.

GLUHWEIN

Gluhwein is a traditional German mulled wine served containing cloves to warm against the bitter winter days.
It is traditionally served at the many German outdoor Christmas markets to keep the customers warm and full of Christmas cheer.

THREE KINGS DAY

Three Kings Day is celebrated on January 6th, twelve days after Christmas and is the last day of the Christmas season.
Three Kings Day or Día de los Reyes is Also known as The Epiphany, the Christian celebration commemorating the Biblical story of the three kings Melchior, Caspar and Balthazar who followed the star of Bethlehem to bring gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh to the Christ child.
Traditionally in Spanish speaking countries, Three Kings Day is the time for gift-giving, rather than Christmas day.
In some regions it IS customary for children to leave their shoes out on the night of January 5 hoping the Three Kings will be generous, the children’s shoes will often be filled with hay for the Kings camels.
When the Spanish children wake on January 6 they find the hay has gone and their shoes are filled with toys and gifts.

TRADITIONAL GLUHWEIN RECIPE

Ingredients:
1 bottle red wine
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
2 cloves
2 sticks of cinnamon
Orange and lemon peel

Instructions:
With the exception of the wine boil all ingredients together and reduce the volume by half.
Remove from the heat Strain and then add the Wine.
Return to the heat bringing the mixture to the boil but not boiling.
Remove from the heat and Serve hot.

TRADITIONAL CHRISTMAS PUNCH RECIPE

Ingredients:
2 pints of water
8oz sugar
Half a bottle of rum
Half a bottle port
The juice and rind of 3 lemons
1 sliced apple
1 sliced orange
Grated nutmeg
Instructions:
Add the sugar and lemon rind to the water in a saucepan and boil. Remove from the heat and when cool strain before adding the rum, port and lemon juice.
Decant into large a pre-warmed punch bowl and float the sliced apple and orange on the top and finally sprinkle with nutmeg.

CHRISTMAS ALE

Most brewers will produce a robust and full bodied winter ale in time for the Christmas festivities.
It will be called Winter Warmer, Christmas ale, Winter ale or any combination of all the above.
In the 21st century when all the bars are stocked with many and various insipid imported lagers and the infamous Alco pops I just hope the brewers continue producing the traditional Christmas tipple

Tuesday, 24 January 2017

A Jamboree Bag of Christmas # 2

TREE WORSHIP

Many of our modern Christmas customs are carried over from pre-Christian celebrations.
Hanging gifts on trees is purported to stem from the ancient Druids tree worship, and the belief that the tree was the giver of all things good.

AFTER THE REVOLUTION

After the French Revolution and the Monarchy was overthrown the new republican government banned Midnight Mass and as a result the people were denied access to the Church crèches.
Though I support of the revolution The people of Marseilles were not best please with this decision as they were particularly fond of the church Crèche and as the revolutionaries had denied them access to the church they created "public crèches" these were produced by individuals but displayed for all to see.

FAMILY CRÈCHES

The original Crèches in Provence date back to the 17th century, when the few bas-reliefs evolved into carved wooden figures.
They were mainly restricted to aristocratic and middle class homes.
The family crèche became even more widespread and some of them contained up to 40 different characters.
Even before decorated Christmas trees became the custom, the crèche already had pride of place in French people’s homes.

SANTONS

Santons are clay figurines that depict the characters of the nativity and were used in church crèches and later in family crèches.
The name Santon comes from the Provencal word "santoùn" or little saint.
The first Santons were modelled in wax by religious orders.
Then later they were made of clay found in the region of Marseilles and Aubagne.
When the French settled on the American continent they took Santons with them and they are an integral part of Christmas in Canada and Louisiana.

CHRISTMAS CACTUS

The Christmas cactus, native to Brazil, is a popular winter-flowering houseplant.
It has no symbolic or religious connection to Christmas.
The come in a wide variety of colours from red and purple to pink and cream.
Its only reason for being called the Christmas cactus is that it is in flower over the Christmas period.

EGGNOG

Eggnog is a tradition that arrived in America from Europe although not in its current form.
In Europe there were many milk and wine punches served at festive times however once in America Rum was used as a substitute for wine.
There seems to be a difference of opinion as to how the Colonial American Milk punch became known as Eggnog.
One theory is that as Rum was commonly known as "grog" and the punch contained Egg the name derived from the description of the drink, "egg-and-grog".
This would have been corrupted to egg'n'grog and then eventually to eggnog.
Another theory claims that the "nog" in eggnog stems from the word "noggin". A noggin being a crude small carved wooden mug often used in low taverns.
So if you have an egg drink in a noggin the drink becomes eggnog.
The final theory is a mixture of the previous two and so claims that eggnog was originally called "egg and grog in a noggin".
They all seem equally unconvincing but without a doubt the jury is still out on the last one I think.
Eggnog is still a popular drink during the holidays today and it’s hard to imagine a Christmas without a cup of the "Eggnog" to spice up a gathering and lend merriment and joy to the proceedings.

THE KISSING BOUGH

The kissing bough was made out of mistletoe, holly, ivy, and any other available evergreens.
It was shaped into a double hoop and had bright streamers flowing from the top and was decorated with apples, pears, ribbons, and lighted candles.
Anyone found under the bough, as with mistletoe, was to be kissed without delay.
The kissing bough was very popular in England but its heyday was before the arrival of the Christmas tree.

TRADITIONAL EGGNOG RECIPE

Ingredients:
4 Large eggs
2 floz. Jamaica Rum
8 oz. Granulated Sugar
8 floz. Un skimmed Milk
8 floz. Single Cream
1 pint Whiskey

Instructions:
Separate the eggs and then beat the yolks and whites separately before pouring them into a bowl together.
Add other ingredients and mix well then pour into a suitable container for serving.
Keep Refrigerated until ready to serve and sprinkle with nutmeg.

THE MUMMERS AND THE LORD OF MISRULE

In medieval England the Lord of Misrule played a major part in the Christmas festivities.
He led the many holiday activities and wielded real power even over the King.
The Lord of Misrule was appointed by the King and his nobles to reign for the Twelve Days of Christmas.
The chosen man was usually had wisdom enough not to abuse his position of power when dealing with the nobility and when instructing the mummers, a traveling band of rowdy players, whom h controlled out on the streets.
Much of the custom surrounding the Lord of Misrule and the Mummers had parallels with the Roman Saturnalia, during which masters and slaves changed places, with general rowdiness abounding.
The Mummers were a rowdy traveling band of players who roamed the streets in costume performing plays, songs and generally doing as the Lord of Misrule bad them.
While mainly being restricted to the streets they would at times burst into churches and disrupt services and generally carouse around.
They would perform classic Mummer's plays and like carollers, would often perform in exchange for Christmas goodies.
When the Puritans under Oliver Cromwell came to power, they banned the Lord of Misrule and the Mummers.
Although the monarchy restored many of the Christmas traditions outlawed by Cromwell, the Lord of Misrule and the Mummers remained outlawed and never again enjoyed the freedom and popularity they had in medieval England.

IMMACULATE CONCEPTION

December 8TH has been observed as a Roman Catholic feast in commemoration of the Immaculate Conception since1854.
It was in that year that Pope Pius IX made an official declaration that the term "Immaculate Conception" refers to neither the conception of Jesus nor to a virgin birth.
Pope Pius IX further decreed the term "Immaculate Conception" refers to a specific doctrine of Roman Catholicism decreeing that the Virgin Mary was preserved free from original sin by divine grace from the moment of her conception.

Saturday, 21 January 2017

A Jamboree Bag of Christmas # 1

CHRISTINGLE

Christingle has its origins in Eastern Europe and The Christingle Service is a Service of candle lights where very many years ago people gathered in the street, sang carols and collected gifts to help the less fortunate in the community.

It is a beautiful candle light service of hymns, carols, recitations and bible readings, but Christingle goes beyond a candle light service and it tells a story. A story is told with the symbolic use of the following items:
An orange representing the world.
A red ribbon tied around the orange to symbolize the blood of Jesus shed for his people.
Tooth picks decorated with dried fruits and sweets are placed at the four corners of the orange representing all the people of the world. A lighted candle in the centre of the orange represents the light of Christ to the world.

THE SPIRIT OF SCROOGE

Every year as a token of their gratitude the people of Norway present Britain with a 70 foot Christmas tree which stands in Trafalgar square.
However the tree has not always been received in the same spirit as it was given at times the discord has soured the season of goodwill.
In 1960 Westminster City Council wanted to charge the Norwegians for the electricity used to light the tree but thankfully Parliament intervened.
While In 1980 the very same council tried to stop the tradition altogether by refusing to accept the tree in an attempt to save the £5,000 cost.
Good sense again prevailed and now the costs are met by the Greater London Authority.
Other bureaucrats have tried to interfere and spoil Christmas this time from Brussels and they complained about the breaking of import restrictions.
The tree has also over the years suffered physical damage, on a number of occasions from high winds and on one occasion it was attacked with a chain saw by anti-war protestors.
In 1987 protesters actually chained themselves to the tree although I don’t know what their cause was.

BAVARIA

In the Roman Catholic areas of southern Germany, such as in Bavaria, Sankt Nikolaus still appears with a flowing beard and a bishop's staff.
In preparation of his arrival Houses are given a thorough clean and children shine their shoes or boots.
The children put a letter to St Nicholas along with carrots for his white horse in their shoes and these are left either by the children’s bed or on a window sill. During the night Sankt Nikolaus goes from house to house visiting the children and if they have been good, he fills, shoe or boot with delicious fruits, nuts and sweets but if they have been bad they may only find potatoes, coal, or twigs.

PICTURE WINDOW

The Germans love to decorate their homes at Christmas and one of the favourite forms of German decoration is for the window.
The decoration consists of a small wooden frames holding a picture made from coloured glass or plastic with an electric candle light behind it.
These lights look very beautiful when viewed from outside at night.

ADVENTSKRANZ

A popular German Christmas decoration is an Adventskranz which consists of a wreath of leaves with four candles.
Advent which means 'coming' is the 4 week period before Christmas and on each Sunday of Advent, another candle is lit.

DER WEIHNACHTSMANN

In Germany Der Weihnachtsmann or Father Christmas brings presents in the late afternoon on Christmas Eve after people return home from church they find the presents under the Christmas tree.
One person in the family will ring a bell and call everyone to come to the room.

THE SPECIAL CHILDREN'S SAINT

In Austria St. Nicholas is the special children's saint and he is honoured throughout Austria because It is said that God rewarded Nicholas for his generosity by allowing him to return to earth each year to bring gifts to all the good children.

THE NATIVITY SCENE

The nativity scene with the baby Jesus Christ laying in the manger surrounded by Mary, Joseph the shepherds and the wise men has long been a favourite Christmas decoration. It has been used for centuries to bring the story of Christmas alive.
It was Francis of Assisi who instituted the custom of the nativity scene after receiving permission from the pope.
Who was renowned for his love of animals, so at Christmas in 1224 he erected the first nativity scene in a cave outside the town of Greccio in Italy.
It did not resemble the type of scene you might see nowadays it was not a hand crafted nor mass-produced but a live scene.
Parishioners played the parts much as children do in the school nativity plays today.
People would gather to watch the spectacle and Francis stood in front of the manger reciting the appropriate gospel followed by a sermon.

BUSINESS CARD

The first Christmas card was printed in England in 1843, for a busy man called Sir Henry Cole.
Because he was such a busy man he wanted to save some of the time he had to spend on his Christmas correspondence.
However his motive was not merely to ease the burden of his letter writing he was also a tremendous advocate of the slowly expanding postal system.
Sir Henry Cole’s first commercial Christmas card sold 1000 copies at one shilling each.
But it was not until the 1860s that card production accelerated with the advent of cheaper printing methods.
Then in 1870 a half penny stamp for sending cards was introduced by the Post Office.

SANS DAY CAROL

The "Sans Day Carol," is a traditional carol from Cornwall.
The carol focuses on the aspects of the holly's symbolism in the form of the different coloured berries.
Red berries represent the blood of Jesus and white berries symbolize his purity.
Green berries represent the cross upon which Christ was crucified and black symbolize his death.