Christmas 2015 # 9

ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS WAISTCOAT?

Are you wearing a Christmas Waistcoat?
Oh yes it’s a real crowd pleaser
But waistcoats are all rather Dickensian
It makes you look like Ebenezer

SHE HAD A VERY FRUSTRATING CHRISTMAS

She had a very frustrating Christmas
Such was the impression she exuded
Apparently the gift from Ms Summers
Was labelled “batteries not included”

THE BRUSSELS SPROUTS

To some people
They can cause distress
But there is a sentiment
I‘d like to express
Sprouts are for life
Not just for Christmas

WE WOKE UP EARLY ON CHRISTMAS DAY

We woke up early on Christmas day
And she reached for her negligee
While I checked the children’s room
And finding them asleep in the gloom
I held her in the first light of dawn
And we made love on Christmas morn

ARE YOU WEARING A FESTIVE JUMPER?

Are you wearing a Festive Jumper?
Well its contents are rather bumper
It’s an interesting design you chose
I particularly like Rudolph’s nose

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS SOCKS?

Are you wearing Christmas socks?
Beneath your skirt it’s hard to see
And gives me pause to think
How high they go above the knee

GROPIUS THE EIGHTH DWARF

Gropius the eighth dwarf
Is no longer a performer
Since all the allegations
He’s on the offenders register

SO WHEN YOUNG MRS CLAUS ARRIVED IN TOWN

So when young Mrs Claus arrived in town
I looked at her with her pure white hair
She was a pretty woman but to my discredit
I couldn’t help thinking as I looked at her
How I like the collar and cuffs to match
So obviously I was thinking of a little white fur

A PRESS RELEASE FROM SANTA CLAUS STATED

A press release from Santa Claus stated
That the Poles reputation had been blighted
So Mobile phones were banned, the number
Of indecent Elfies was the reason cited

MY SISTER WAS AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS

My sister was afraid of Santa Claus
The thought of him made her sick
The rest of us all loved him to bits
But she was clearly Claus-trophobic

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS ANKLE SOCKS?

Are you wearing Christmas ankle socks?
I’ve often pictured them on you
And you don’t need anything else
Just wearing the socks will do

Christmas 2015 # 8

ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS DRESS?

Are you wearing a Christmas Dress?
The big red ribbon is particularly pleasant
I’m itching to pull at that bow
So when do I get to open my present

DO YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA BRINGS

Do you know what Santa brings naughty
Boys and girls so they are not excluded?
It’s not coal anymore so don’t think that
It batteries, labelled "toy not included"

RUDOLF WAS SUCH AN OBNOXIOUS REINDEER

Rudolf was such an obnoxious reindeer
The song about him was just a farce
The other reindeer all hated him and said
He could stick his red nose up his arse

ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS TOP?

Are you wearing a Christmas Top?
Well I very much like what I see
Because there isn’t very much of it
And the contents are bursting free

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SANTA CLAUS

The difference between Santa Claus
And a serial philanderer as it goes
Is in essence a total lack of self-control
Because Santa stopped at three ho’s

WHEN MY LITTLE DOG’S SETTLE DOWN

When my little dog’s settle down
On Christmas Eve amidst the snores
The little doggies dream like a child
And they dream about Santa Paws

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS ARE JUST

New Year’s resolutions are just
Lies that we tell one another
And are something that go in
One year and out the other

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS SLIPPERS?

Are you wearing Christmas slippers?
They look very cute it must be said
But I think they’d look much cuter
If I was to see them under my bed

IF YOU’RE A TAKE THAT FAN

If you’re a Take That fan
Then Christmas could be shocking
If you’re expecting to find
An Orange in your stocking

RUDOLPH WAS SO OBNOXIOUS

Rudolph was so obnoxious that the
Other reindeer threatened to strike
He was really very unpopular and they
Thought he was RUDE-olph more like

ARE YOU WEARING MISTLETOE?

Are you wearing Mistletoe?
I don’t mind kissing you below
Your little sprig of mistletoe
But you’re wearing it quite low

Christmas 2015 # 7

ARE YOU WEARING WHITE TINSEL?

Are you wearing white tinsel?
Tied amidst your lustrous curls
It makes you look so beautiful
And more like an angel than a girl

THE DAUGHTER OF ONE OF SANTA’S ELVES

The daughter of one of Santa’s Elves
Was out of control and a bit of a prancer
So he sent her to college in Lapland
To stop her from being a pole dancer
But she soon dropped out of college
And now she’s a popular lap dancer

THERE IS A POPULAR MYTH ABOUT RUDOLPH

There is a popular myth about Rudolph
And his quite legendary shiny nose
But believe me if you ever saw him
You would know that’s not what glows

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS EARRINGS?

Are you wearing Christmas earrings?
They’re really quite adorable
Would it be inappropriate to say?
That I really like your baubles

HE CAME HOME ON CHRISTMAS EVE

He came home on Christmas Eve
On his long awaited Christmas leave
The soldier returned from the war
To find his beloved waiting at the door
It took seconds for passions to ignite
Which made it a Not-so-Silent Night

I LOVE CHRISTMAS PUDDING

I love Christmas pudding
But it doesn’t return the favour
I wish you could get Gaviscon
In brandy butter flavour

WHEN MY LITTLE KITTENS SETTLE DOWN

When my little kittens settle down
On Christmas Eve amidst the snores
The little kitties dream like a child
And they dream about Santa Claws

THE LATEST GOSSIP IS IN FROM THE NORTH POLE

The latest gossip is in from the North Pole
And the Claus’s have divorced you know
So why did Santa divorce Mrs. Claus?
Because he found out she was a ho ho ho

SCROOGE HATES CHRISTMAS

Scrooge hates Christmas
But loves all of the reindeer
And the simple reason for that is
To him every buck is dear

THIS YEAR’S NEW YEAR’S EVE FORECAST;

This year’s New Year’s Eve forecast;
A row with the girlfriend, acute loneliness
Followed by being mostly drunk with
A very slight chance of unconsciousness

ARE YOU WEARING STRIPY STOCKINGS?

Are you wearing stripy stockings?
It must be that time of the year again
I know you think they’re cute, but
Your legs look like candy canes

Christmas 2015 # 6

ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS JUMPER?

Are you wearing a Christmas Jumper?
Well its contents look rather bumper
The flashing lights I should mention
Are not needed to attract my attention

CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 6

When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During the Christmas season
Walk up and simply ask her
“If she would like to meet
Santa's little helper?”

ARE YOU WEARING BLACK TINSEL?

Are you wearing black tinsel?
Tied amidst your lustrous curls
Well you must either be a Grinch
Or you’re a very wicked girl

SANTA’S YOUNGEST DAUGHTER MARY

Santa’s youngest daughter Mary
Was promiscuous and out of control
So he sent her to a girl’s boarding school
To keep her off the North Pole

I LOVE MINCE PIES AT CHRISTMAS

I love mince pies at Christmas
But they don’t return the favour
I wish you could get Gaviscon
In brandy butter flavour

ABANDONING THE NATIVITY

It’s ironic that schools
Are abandoning the nativity
When half a dozen Schoolgirls
Could play the Virgin Mary
Although they’re not virgins
They do have their own baby

SEE THE HAPPY FACES GLOWING

It’s Christmas time again
See the happy faces glowing
Putting love in every heart
Until they’re overflowing

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 332

Flour of England, fruit of Spain,
Met together in a shower of rain;
Let’s make Christmas pudding again

THEY WON’T BE PLAYING MUSICAL CHAIRS

They won’t be playing musical chairs
In palaces or Royal homes
Prince Charles prefers to play a variant
Called Game of Thrones

IT’S ONE OF LIFE’S INEVITABILITIES

It’s one of life’s inevitabilities that there will
Definitely come a time in every family residence
A moment when the children notice that Santa
Uses the same wrapping paper as their parents

MY BOYFRIEND IS JUST LIKE SANTA CLAUS

My boyfriend is just like Santa Claus
Though he doesn’t fulfil a single wish
And he doesn’t give me presents
But he’s like Santa because he’s a myth

Christmas 2015 # 5

ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS SWEATER?

Are you wearing a Christmas sweater?
Well this season just keeps on getting better
It’s not that I like novelty knitwear
But I can ogle your chest and you won’t care

CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 5

When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During the Christmas season
Walk up and say something shocking
“How about I slip down your chimney,
After midnight and fill your stocking”

ARE YOU WEARING BLUE TINSEL?

Are you wearing blue tinsel?
Tied amidst your lustrous curls
Not a festive hue and yet
You have it amidst the curls
So is it a statement or was it
The only colour you could get

A BLONDE GIFT

Bimbette got a new scarf for Christmas
But in the New Year she exchanged it
The store took it back without a quibble
Even though she said it was too tight a fit

DURING THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY

During the Christmas holiday
From coast to coast
What do you call a stuffed animal?
We call it a turkey roast

I AM A MAN OF SIMPLE TASTES

I am a man of simple tastes
But obviously there’s a twist
So all I want for Christmas
Is Santa’s naughty girl list

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU

All I want for Christmas is you
Let me make this perfectly clear
All I want for Christmas is you
To be trampled by a herd of reindeer

EVERYONE KEPT SAYING I SHOULD DECK THE HALLS

Everyone kept saying I should Deck the Halls
There is even a Christmas song about it
So I acted when the opportunity came along
And you know Mr and Mrs Hall didn’t like it a bit

SANTA CLAUS LOVES CHRISTMAS

Santa Claus loves Christmas
It’s his favourite time by far
And that’s because he knows
Where all the naughty girls are

SANTA ASKED ABIGAIL

Santa asked as a little girl climbed onto his lap,
"And what would you like for Christmas Abigail?"
The child stared at him open mouthed with horror
And then she snapped "Didn't you get my E-mail?"

WHERE THE LONELY ELVES GO

The “house of fun” in Santa’s village
Is where lonely elves go to take pause
And the owner proudly boasts that
He has more ho’s than Santa Claus

Christmas 2015 # 3

ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS CARDIGAN?

Are you wearing a Christmas Cardigan?
Please tell me you’re wearing it for a joke?
What do you mean it’s comfortable?
Are you that Val Doonican bloke?

BAD SANTA # 3

Bad Santa is a bit of a perve
So naughty girl when he comes into view
It won’t be candy cane in his pocket
He’ll be really pleased to see you!

CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 3

When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During the Christmas season
Walk up to them and say sweetly
“Hey Angel, Shouldn't you
Be on top of the tree?”

LAST CHRISTMAS I GAVE YOU # 3

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,
But I’m sorry to say,
That your gift to me
Was chlamydia

ARE YOU WEARING RED TINSEL?

Are you wearing red tinsel?
Tied amidst your lustrous curls
Red can be a devilish colour
So are you a devilish kind of girl?

I DON’T LIKE THE SHORTENED FORM

I don’t like the shortened form
Of Christmas, it’s not quaint
I dislike it because Xmas sounds
Like some kind of skin complaint

DON’T LOOK BACKWARDS, MERELY

Don’t look backwards, merely
Half-heartedly and insincerely
Remember those Christmas’s clearly
And remember the people dearly

DOWN AT THE SHOPPING MALL

Down at the shopping mall
There’s a lot of bustle and fuss
As the registers ring its beginning
To cost a lot like Christmas

THEY SAY THAT IT’S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS

They say that it’s the thought that counts
Rather than the size of the gift
But if you decided to give everyone your
Opinion in lieu they might be miffed

WE LOST THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS

We lost the true meaning of Christmas
Almost from the start
It’s become about what’s in your pocket
And not what's in your heart

Christmas 2015 # 4

ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS TIE?

Are you wearing a Christmas Tie?
Well my next question is why?
Because it really is quite unpleasant
Let me guess it was a present

BAD SANTA # 4

Bad Santa is a bit of a perve
And his special seasonal wish
Is for you to jingle his bells
So you get a White Christmas

CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 4

When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During the Christmas season
Just say “I would love
To show you the special toys
My elves make for
The big girls and boys”

ARE YOU WEARING GREEN TINSEL?

Are you wearing green tinsel?
Tied around your lustrous curls
Like a goddess of the woods
Are you one of the “nature” girls?

I FOUND HER SITTING IN MY STUDY

I found her sitting in my study
And she was completely in the nuddy
So given the delicate situation
I exploited her infatuation
And as the church bells rang
We started Christmas with a bang

A RED RIBBON TIED IN YOUR HAIR

A red ribbon tied in your hair
You’re a lovely Christmas miss
Come under the mistletoe
And let me steal a Christmas kiss

ARE YOU A CHRISTMAS FAIRY?

Are you a Christmas Fairy?
It’s just you’re a little bit scary
And you also look a bit weird
I think it’s the long ginger beard

MRS CLAUS WAS COURTED

Mrs Claus was courted
By Santa and a man called Ray
Ray was a flash Harry
Who drove a red Chevrolet
Well it was no contest
At the end of the day
Because although he had a fast car
Santa had a faster sleigh

I EAT EVERYTHING

I love Christmas
The naughty and nice
I eat absolutely everything
Until I pay the price
And I make a Yule log
That I have to flush twice

NO FRANKINCENSE, GOLD OR MYRRH

Melchior, Balthazar and Caspar
Travelled long with Gifts to bring
Not frankincense, Gold or myrrh
Or other valuable precious things
But non glutinous food stuffs
As they were Wheat Free Kings

Christmas 2016 # 2

AS KIDS EVERY CHRISTMAS TIME

As kids every Christmas time
We would really go berserk
But now I’m grown up I think
It’s just a lot of extra work

AT CHRISTMAS WHEN I WAS A CHILD

At Christmas when I was a child
I always used to resent
Getting items of clothing
As they weren’t a proper present

But that all changed later
And I would always make a fuss
When I was in my teens
If I didn’t get clothes for Christmas

SHINY RED BAUBLES

Shiny red baubles
Can be a sign of the Season
But for my brother
An STD was the reason

WE HAD TO CUT THE LEGS OFF

We had to cut the legs off
The turkey to get it in the oven
But I think we should have
Killed it first on reflection

INSTEAD OF THE TRADITIONAL TURKEY

Instead of the traditional Turkey
We had Venison this year
While up at the North Pole
Santa was missing a Reindeer

FOR OUR CHRISTMAS DINNER

For our Christmas dinner
We had German sprouts
And they in no way allayed
Any low emission doubts

I DECIDED TO SPICE UP CHRISTMAS

I decided to spice up Christmas
And along with some scanties
I bought her some special toys
That cost me a fortune in batteries

WHICH CAROLS DO YOU WANT TO DO?

“Which carols do you want to do?”
The music teacher asked me
I misunderstood the question and replied
“Needham, Crow and Vitale”

WITH TWO DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS

With two days till Christmas
Sales will definitely pick up a bit
As men start Christmas shopping
And start to buy ‘any old shit’

JESUS WAS EXACTLY 7LB WHEN HE WAS BORN

Jesus was exactly 7lb when he was born
And they told every visiting stranger
And Mary and Joseph knew it was true
Because They had a weigh in the manger.

SNOWMEN ARE RUBBISH AT CRICKET

Snowmen are rubbish at cricket
They only play when the snow falls
Even then they can’t hit the wicket
And they keep bowling snow-balls

THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE-OFF NATIVITY

The Great British Bake-Off nativity
Is to be a real festive feast
And baker Paul Hollywood says it’s
Because the Star is in the Yeast

DEAR SANTA, ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

“Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas
This year is a brother”
Santa replied and said “ok, can do, just
Send me your mother”

Christmas 2015 # 2

ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS HAT?

Are you wearing a Christmas Hat?
Sitting so perfectly on your head
A gorgeous little tit for tat
White trimmed and crimson red

BAD SANTA # 2

Bad Santa is a bit of a perve
For the girls with a bit of curve
He reads the naughty and nice list
But prefers the "nice and naughty list”

UKIP ADVENT CALENDAR # 2

You can now buy a UKIP
Advent calendar
I’ve never seen one before
I don’t know what message is inside
Because for some reason
All you can hear is a slamming door

CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 2

When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
Walk up to them and say
“Can I take a picture of you Miss,
So I can show Santa exactly
What I want for Christmas”

LAST CHRISTMAS I GAVE YOU # 2

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,
But I’m sorry to say,
You really
Needed a kidney

ARE YOU WEARING GOLDEN TINSEL?

Are you wearing Golden tinsel?
Tied amidst your lustrous curls
It makes you look so beautiful
And more like an angel than a girl

WHEN CHRISTMAS DAY WAS OVER # 2

When Christmas Day was over
Mrs Claus needed a release
It was a very stressful time
Spreading good will and peace

So as soon as Santa was rested
She always liked to have a bit
Being partial to the "North Pole"
Well, that's what Mrs C calls it

YOU CAN KEEP THE SLEIGH # 2

You can keep the sleigh
And Rudolph and Prancer
There’s nothing Santa likes
More than a Pole Dancer

SANTA ANA AND HIS REINDEER

"Now Vortex! Now Bluster!
Now, Twister and Mizzle!
On, Cyclone! On, Humid!
On, Monsoon and Drizzle!
From their HQ in Exeter!
To the Met office ball!
Now dash away! Dash away!
Dash away all!"

THE CLAUS’S SAT BESIDE THE FIRE

The Claus’s sat beside the fire
And Santa was heard to say
When was the last Christmas
That we did it in a sleigh?

Christmas 2016 # 1

WHERE IS YOUR CHRISTMAS SPIRIT?

Where is your Christmas Spirit?
Tell me are you feeling it yet?
Why are you looking over there?
It’s not in your liquor cabinet

I REMEMBER THE TIME

I remember the time
I stopped believing in Santa Claus
And getting pants and socks
In my stocking was the cause

FAMILIES ARE AN ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE

Families are an absolute nightmare
I wouldn’t visit mine on a dare
Santa Claus has the right idea
Visiting people only once a year

I ALWAYS ENJOY THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTIES

I always enjoy the office Christmas parties
It’s my favourite part of the holiday
What I don’t like about the Christmas parties
Is looking for a new job the next day

CHRISTMAS HAS BEEN CANCELLED!

Christmas has been cancelled!
Let me make it perfectly clear
Santa died laughing when I told him
I’d been a good boy this year!

REMEMBER, CHRISTMAS ISN'T ABOUT

Remember, Christmas isn't about
How big the tree is, or what's under it
Or the Christmas lights and decorations
It's about the people who are around it

IN THE RUN UP TO CHRISTMAS BE ESPECIALLY

In the run up to Christmas be especially
Kind and caring to those around you
Because in the office Secret Santa
You don’t know who will be buying for you

CHRISTMAS PARADOX

One of the paradoxes of family life
Is that kids will never admit to parents
That they don’t believe in Santa Claus
While every Christmas they get presents

FOR WOMEN THE HOLIDAY SHOPPING SEASON

For women the holiday shopping season
Starts on all hallows Eve
For men the holiday shopping season
Starts on Christmas Eve

A LITTLE BOY WROTE TO SANTA CLAUSE

A little boy wrote to Santa Clause
“Please send me a brother”
Santa Clause wrote him back,
“Ok, send me your mother”

THAT'S POLITICAL CORRECTNESS THAT IS # 1

That's political correctness that is
In one of its insidious ways
That’s stops us saying merry Christmas
And makes us say happy holidays

WHEN YOU OPEN THE WINDOWS

When you open the windows
Throughout the festive season
On Microsoft’s advent calendar
They suddenly close for no reason

I GOT AN INAPPROPRIATE PRESENT

I got an inappropriate present
From my grandparents you know
Ordinarily a Slinky is a great gift
But not if you live in a bungalow

Christmas 2015 # 1

ARE YOU WEARING A FESTIVE SWEATER?

Are you wearing a festive sweater?
Well this season just keeps on getting better
And you really don’t need a bigger size
A more perfect fit would be hard to devise

BAD SANTA # 1

Bad Santa is a bit of a perve
For the girls with a bit of curve
And he think that the naughty list
Is really more like his to-do list

UKIP ADVENT CALENDAR # 1

You can now buy a UKIP
Advent calendar
I’ve never seen one before
There are no Christmas messages
It just says Fuck off
Behind every door

CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 1

When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During the Christmas season
Walk up to them and say
“They call me Jingle Bells
Because I go all the way”

LAST CHRISTMAS I GAVE YOU # 1

Last Christmas, I gave you a scarf
But the very next week
You said “it was so last year”
Bloody cheek

ARE YOU WEARING SILVER TINSEL?

Are you wearing Silver tinsel?
Tied amidst your lustrous curls
It makes you look so beautiful
And more like an angel than a girl

WHEN CHRISTMAS DAY WAS OVER # 1

When Christmas Day was over
Mrs Claus needed a release
It was a very stressful time
Spreading good will and peace
So as soon as Santa was rested
She always liked to have a bit
And more often than not
They’d go and do it in the sleigh

YOU CAN KEEP THE SLEIGH # 1

You can keep the sleigh
And Rudolph and Prancer
There’s nothing Santa likes
More than a Lap Dancer

FROSTY, WINDY, CLOUDY AND SQUALLY

Frosty, Windy, Cloudy and Squally,
Misty, Rainbow and Precipitous Hail
Are the met office seven dwarfs
And let’s not forget Princess Gale

THE CLAUS’S LAY IN THEIR BED

The Claus’s lay in their bed
And Santa was heard to say
My lap isn't the only place
Where wishes come true

A Jamboree Bag of Christmas # 3

BRUMALIA

In the Roman Empire on the great day of December 25th, came the Brumalia or festival of the shortest day. A day of great religious significance for the sun-worshipers.
This day was also known as Natalis Solus Invicti or the "Birth of the Unconquerable Sun"
This was the time when the day began again to lengthen.
In the fifth century the Western Church ordered Christmas to be celebrated forever on the day of the old Roman feast of the birth of Sol.

SATURNALIA

Saturnalia was a period of the year that was one of great festivity for the pagan Romans.
The four day celebration of Saturnalia began on December 17th with the feast of the god Saturn, the Roman deity of seed and sowing.
"The Roman Saturnalia was characterized by processions, singing, lighting candles, adorning houses with laurels and green trees, giving presents."
Many of these have passed into modern day Christmas celebrations.
A major part of the pagan Saturnalia festival was ritual turning everything upside-down which abolished for a short while the distinction of ranks, a reversal of all order and dignities where slaves were served by masters, soldiers served by their officers, a tradition which is still carried out today in the British armed forces.

TOPSY TURVEY

A major part of the Romans pagan Saturnalia festival, the ritual turning everything upside-down and the temporary loss of the distinction of ranks, a reversal of all order and dignities where slaves were served by masters, soldiers served by their officers passed on into the British Christmas celebrations.
It was probable a remnant of the roman culture left behind when the great empire first shrunk and then fell.
The custom was carried out to great lengths at Christmastime in England during the middle Ages.
It was customary to appoint a "Lord of Misrule" or an "Abbot of Unreason" or even the 'Lord of Merry Disport' who presided over the blasphemous foolery and this appointment was normally made by a significant noble.
However in England an 'Abbot of Misrule' was chosen in every large household though in Scotland it was an 'Abbot of Unreason'.
During the thankfully short term of the festival he was the master of the house.
The church hierarchy frowned upon this Blasphemy but had to put a brave face on it.
Church leaders would certainly not approve of the fact that it was quite customary even for the clergy to indulge in the paganism.
Thankfully the early Puritans who witnessed the jolly antics of the grotesque fools abolished the practise, the only good thing they ever did, and when the puritans lost their power the practise was never revived.
There is still a tradition within the British Armed forces and the Metropolitan Police service where the lower ranks are served Christmas dinner by the officers but that is all that survives.

EPIPHANY

January 5th or twelfth night marks the climax of the Christmas season.
The twelve days of Christmas are counted from December 25th until twelfth night.
The season of Christmas begins with the first Sunday of Advent and concludes with Epiphany.
The period between Christmas day and epiphany is referred to as Christmastide.
Epiphany usually shares the white and gold, colours of Christmas denoting celebration, newness, and hope.
But epiphany has a much more significant meaning to the Christian as it marks the time when the magi were the first gentiles to acknowledge Jesus as "king" and this act of worship by the magi,
Was a message to the world that Jesus came for all people, of all nations, of all races, and of all faiths.

GLUHWEIN

Gluhwein is a traditional German mulled wine served containing cloves to warm against the bitter winter days.
It is traditionally served at the many German outdoor Christmas markets to keep the customers warm and full of Christmas cheer.

THREE KINGS DAY

Three Kings Day is celebrated on January 6th, twelve days after Christmas and is the last day of the Christmas season.
Three Kings Day or Día de los Reyes is Also known as The Epiphany, the Christian celebration commemorating the Biblical story of the three kings Melchior, Caspar and Balthazar who followed the star of Bethlehem to bring gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh to the Christ child.
Traditionally in Spanish speaking countries, Three Kings Day is the time for gift-giving, rather than Christmas day.
In some regions it IS customary for children to leave their shoes out on the night of January 5 hoping the Three Kings will be generous, the children’s shoes will often be filled with hay for the Kings camels.
When the Spanish children wake on January 6 they find the hay has gone and their shoes are filled with toys and gifts.

TRADITIONAL GLUHWEIN RECIPE

Ingredients:
1 bottle red wine
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
2 cloves
2 sticks of cinnamon
Orange and lemon peel

Instructions:
With the exception of the wine boil all ingredients together and reduce the volume by half.
Remove from the heat Strain and then add the Wine.
Return to the heat bringing the mixture to the boil but not boiling.
Remove from the heat and Serve hot.

TRADITIONAL CHRISTMAS PUNCH RECIPE

Ingredients:
2 pints of water
8oz sugar
Half a bottle of rum
Half a bottle port
The juice and rind of 3 lemons
1 sliced apple
1 sliced orange
Grated nutmeg
Instructions:
Add the sugar and lemon rind to the water in a saucepan and boil. Remove from the heat and when cool strain before adding the rum, port and lemon juice.
Decant into large a pre-warmed punch bowl and float the sliced apple and orange on the top and finally sprinkle with nutmeg.

CHRISTMAS ALE

Most brewers will produce a robust and full bodied winter ale in time for the Christmas festivities.
It will be called Winter Warmer, Christmas ale, Winter ale or any combination of all the above.
In the 21st century when all the bars are stocked with many and various insipid imported lagers and the infamous Alco pops I just hope the brewers continue producing the traditional Christmas tipple

A Jamboree Bag of Christmas # 2

TREE WORSHIP

Many of our modern Christmas customs are carried over from pre-Christian celebrations.
Hanging gifts on trees is purported to stem from the ancient Druids tree worship, and the belief that the tree was the giver of all things good.

AFTER THE REVOLUTION

After the French Revolution and the Monarchy was overthrown the new republican government banned Midnight Mass and as a result the people were denied access to the Church crèches.
Though I support of the revolution The people of Marseilles were not best please with this decision as they were particularly fond of the church Crèche and as the revolutionaries had denied them access to the church they created "public crèches" these were produced by individuals but displayed for all to see.

FAMILY CRÈCHES

The original Crèches in Provence date back to the 17th century, when the few bas-reliefs evolved into carved wooden figures.
They were mainly restricted to aristocratic and middle class homes.
The family crèche became even more widespread and some of them contained up to 40 different characters.
Even before decorated Christmas trees became the custom, the crèche already had pride of place in French people’s homes.

SANTONS

Santons are clay figurines that depict the characters of the nativity and were used in church crèches and later in family crèches.
The name Santon comes from the Provencal word "santoùn" or little saint.
The first Santons were modelled in wax by religious orders.
Then later they were made of clay found in the region of Marseilles and Aubagne.
When the French settled on the American continent they took Santons with them and they are an integral part of Christmas in Canada and Louisiana.

CHRISTMAS CACTUS

The Christmas cactus, native to Brazil, is a popular winter-flowering houseplant.
It has no symbolic or religious connection to Christmas.
The come in a wide variety of colours from red and purple to pink and cream.
Its only reason for being called the Christmas cactus is that it is in flower over the Christmas period.

EGGNOG

Eggnog is a tradition that arrived in America from Europe although not in its current form.
In Europe there were many milk and wine punches served at festive times however once in America Rum was used as a substitute for wine.
There seems to be a difference of opinion as to how the Colonial American Milk punch became known as Eggnog.
One theory is that as Rum was commonly known as "grog" and the punch contained Egg the name derived from the description of the drink, "egg-and-grog".
This would have been corrupted to egg'n'grog and then eventually to eggnog.
Another theory claims that the "nog" in eggnog stems from the word "noggin". A noggin being a crude small carved wooden mug often used in low taverns.
So if you have an egg drink in a noggin the drink becomes eggnog.
The final theory is a mixture of the previous two and so claims that eggnog was originally called "egg and grog in a noggin".
They all seem equally unconvincing but without a doubt the jury is still out on the last one I think.
Eggnog is still a popular drink during the holidays today and it’s hard to imagine a Christmas without a cup of the "Eggnog" to spice up a gathering and lend merriment and joy to the proceedings.

THE KISSING BOUGH

The kissing bough was made out of mistletoe, holly, ivy, and any other available evergreens.
It was shaped into a double hoop and had bright streamers flowing from the top and was decorated with apples, pears, ribbons, and lighted candles.
Anyone found under the bough, as with mistletoe, was to be kissed without delay.
The kissing bough was very popular in England but its heyday was before the arrival of the Christmas tree.

TRADITIONAL EGGNOG RECIPE

Ingredients:
4 Large eggs
2 floz. Jamaica Rum
8 oz. Granulated Sugar
8 floz. Un skimmed Milk
8 floz. Single Cream
1 pint Whiskey

Instructions:
Separate the eggs and then beat the yolks and whites separately before pouring them into a bowl together.
Add other ingredients and mix well then pour into a suitable container for serving.
Keep Refrigerated until ready to serve and sprinkle with nutmeg.

THE MUMMERS AND THE LORD OF MISRULE

In medieval England the Lord of Misrule played a major part in the Christmas festivities.
He led the many holiday activities and wielded real power even over the King.
The Lord of Misrule was appointed by the King and his nobles to reign for the Twelve Days of Christmas.
The chosen man was usually had wisdom enough not to abuse his position of power when dealing with the nobility and when instructing the mummers, a traveling band of rowdy players, whom h controlled out on the streets.
Much of the custom surrounding the Lord of Misrule and the Mummers had parallels with the Roman Saturnalia, during which masters and slaves changed places, with general rowdiness abounding.
The Mummers were a rowdy traveling band of players who roamed the streets in costume performing plays, songs and generally doing as the Lord of Misrule bad them.
While mainly being restricted to the streets they would at times burst into churches and disrupt services and generally carouse around.
They would perform classic Mummer's plays and like carollers, would often perform in exchange for Christmas goodies.
When the Puritans under Oliver Cromwell came to power, they banned the Lord of Misrule and the Mummers.
Although the monarchy restored many of the Christmas traditions outlawed by Cromwell, the Lord of Misrule and the Mummers remained outlawed and never again enjoyed the freedom and popularity they had in medieval England.

IMMACULATE CONCEPTION

December 8TH has been observed as a Roman Catholic feast in commemoration of the Immaculate Conception since1854.
It was in that year that Pope Pius IX made an official declaration that the term "Immaculate Conception" refers to neither the conception of Jesus nor to a virgin birth.
Pope Pius IX further decreed the term "Immaculate Conception" refers to a specific doctrine of Roman Catholicism decreeing that the Virgin Mary was preserved free from original sin by divine grace from the moment of her conception.

A Jamboree Bag of Christmas # 1

CHRISTINGLE

Christingle has its origins in Eastern Europe and The Christingle Service is a Service of candle lights where very many years ago people gathered in the street, sang carols and collected gifts to help the less fortunate in the community.

It is a beautiful candle light service of hymns, carols, recitations and bible readings, but Christingle goes beyond a candle light service and it tells a story. A story is told with the symbolic use of the following items:
An orange representing the world.
A red ribbon tied around the orange to symbolize the blood of Jesus shed for his people.
Tooth picks decorated with dried fruits and sweets are placed at the four corners of the orange representing all the people of the world. A lighted candle in the centre of the orange represents the light of Christ to the world.

THE SPIRIT OF SCROOGE

Every year as a token of their gratitude the people of Norway present Britain with a 70 foot Christmas tree which stands in Trafalgar square.
However the tree has not always been received in the same spirit as it was given at times the discord has soured the season of goodwill.
In 1960 Westminster City Council wanted to charge the Norwegians for the electricity used to light the tree but thankfully Parliament intervened.
While In 1980 the very same council tried to stop the tradition altogether by refusing to accept the tree in an attempt to save the £5,000 cost.
Good sense again prevailed and now the costs are met by the Greater London Authority.
Other bureaucrats have tried to interfere and spoil Christmas this time from Brussels and they complained about the breaking of import restrictions.
The tree has also over the years suffered physical damage, on a number of occasions from high winds and on one occasion it was attacked with a chain saw by anti-war protestors.
In 1987 protesters actually chained themselves to the tree although I don’t know what their cause was.

BAVARIA

In the Roman Catholic areas of southern Germany, such as in Bavaria, Sankt Nikolaus still appears with a flowing beard and a bishop's staff.
In preparation of his arrival Houses are given a thorough clean and children shine their shoes or boots.
The children put a letter to St Nicholas along with carrots for his white horse in their shoes and these are left either by the children’s bed or on a window sill. During the night Sankt Nikolaus goes from house to house visiting the children and if they have been good, he fills, shoe or boot with delicious fruits, nuts and sweets but if they have been bad they may only find potatoes, coal, or twigs.

PICTURE WINDOW

The Germans love to decorate their homes at Christmas and one of the favourite forms of German decoration is for the window.
The decoration consists of a small wooden frames holding a picture made from coloured glass or plastic with an electric candle light behind it.
These lights look very beautiful when viewed from outside at night.

ADVENTSKRANZ

A popular German Christmas decoration is an Adventskranz which consists of a wreath of leaves with four candles.
Advent which means 'coming' is the 4 week period before Christmas and on each Sunday of Advent, another candle is lit.

DER WEIHNACHTSMANN

In Germany Der Weihnachtsmann or Father Christmas brings presents in the late afternoon on Christmas Eve after people return home from church they find the presents under the Christmas tree.
One person in the family will ring a bell and call everyone to come to the room.

THE SPECIAL CHILDREN'S SAINT

In Austria St. Nicholas is the special children's saint and he is honoured throughout Austria because It is said that God rewarded Nicholas for his generosity by allowing him to return to earth each year to bring gifts to all the good children.

THE NATIVITY SCENE

The nativity scene with the baby Jesus Christ laying in the manger surrounded by Mary, Joseph the shepherds and the wise men has long been a favourite Christmas decoration. It has been used for centuries to bring the story of Christmas alive.
It was Francis of Assisi who instituted the custom of the nativity scene after receiving permission from the pope.
Who was renowned for his love of animals, so at Christmas in 1224 he erected the first nativity scene in a cave outside the town of Greccio in Italy.
It did not resemble the type of scene you might see nowadays it was not a hand crafted nor mass-produced but a live scene.
Parishioners played the parts much as children do in the school nativity plays today.
People would gather to watch the spectacle and Francis stood in front of the manger reciting the appropriate gospel followed by a sermon.

BUSINESS CARD

The first Christmas card was printed in England in 1843, for a busy man called Sir Henry Cole.
Because he was such a busy man he wanted to save some of the time he had to spend on his Christmas correspondence.
However his motive was not merely to ease the burden of his letter writing he was also a tremendous advocate of the slowly expanding postal system.
Sir Henry Cole’s first commercial Christmas card sold 1000 copies at one shilling each.
But it was not until the 1860s that card production accelerated with the advent of cheaper printing methods.
Then in 1870 a half penny stamp for sending cards was introduced by the Post Office.

SANS DAY CAROL

The "Sans Day Carol," is a traditional carol from Cornwall.
The carol focuses on the aspects of the holly's symbolism in the form of the different coloured berries.
Red berries represent the blood of Jesus and white berries symbolize his purity.
Green berries represent the cross upon which Christ was crucified and black symbolize his death.

The Girl in the Christmas Dress

The Girl in the Christmas Dress (Part One)

Steve Berry had always had a dislike for Christmas, despite all the jollity and faux fun because unlike many of his Christmas mad friends he had no happy Christmas memories to anesthetise him against the season.
His parents were alcoholics and each year their Christmas came in a bottle and thanks to his father Steve’s came with a slap.
So his childhood Christmases were memories he would rather have forgotten.
But adulthood brought no relief and it always seemed to him that when shit happens Christmas just magnifies the misery.
If someone dies at Christmas the very season makes it more keenly felt.
He could testify to that as his mother died on Christmas Eve when he was 19.
He has no idea where his father is and quite frankly he doesn’t care.
He never showed up for the funeral and he could be dead as well for all he knew.
So as a result he has never trusted Christmas, he knows that shit lurks beneath the coloured lights and paper chains.
That was until Holly Davis opened his eyes to new possibilities and he realised that Christmas could also magnify joy.

He had found himself working behind the bar in her Uncle Phil’s pub, the Pig and Whistle.
He was still uncertain quite how she managed to affect that, but affect it she did and during the ten days working for her she had turned his life upside down and it culminated on Christmas Eve with him wishing her a Merry Christmas and kissing her at closing time.
Judging by the way Holly responded Steve hoped that kiss on Christmas Eve might have been the start of something but alas for him it didn’t lead anywhere.
Holly had indeed responded to his advance and in fact had been hoping for it but she knew it was far too soon to throw caution to the wind.
There were scabs as yet unpicked regarding Steve Berry that needed to be attended to before she completely let down her guard.
Holly considered him to be a work in progress she thought he had potential but he still needed work but there was certainly hope for him.

The other event that occurred on Christmas Eve was a prolonged snowfall which resulted in them being snowed in.
Holly was due to go to lunch at her cousin’s house but as she lived 30 miles away it was not possible to make the journey safely with the amount of snow that was laying.
Steve was due to spend the day alone not celebrating Christmas at all but Holly invited him to spend the day with her instead as he hadn’t risked driving home the night before.
He would have been quite happy to have slept on one of the bench seats in the lounge bar as he had once before but Holly insisted he use the spare room.
So that was how Steve Berry came to celebrate his first ever Christmas and why he was sitting at the bar nursing a cup of coffee in the clothes he had been wearing the night before.
“Morning” he said as she appeared behind the bar
“Happy Christmas” Holly said and reached over and kissed his cheek.
Now it was not the kiss he was hoping for and it was not possessed of the passion that accompanied the embrace of the night before but that simple peck on the cheek held within it, hope.
“God its cold in here” she said
“Yes, there was a power cut during the night and it knocked the boiler out” he said
“I’ve relit it but it’ll take a while to warm up”
“This was not the Christmas day I had in mind” Holly said putting the collar of her dressing gown up
“Nor me” he added
She was supposed to be dining on a sumptuous feast at her cousin’s house, while he was supposed to be in self-imposed exile at his flat.
“Do you want a drink?” he asked
“Oh yes please” she replied and Steve got up and went to the kitchen returning a few minutes later with a steaming mug of tea
“Thanks hon” she said and winced at her involuntary over familiarization and quickly went on
“I don’t know what we are going to eat today” Holly said
“We will need to ferret in the freezer”
“I didn’t know ferret was traditional Christmas fare” Steve said
“You know what I mean” she said “Can you cook?”
“A bit” he replied
“Good because I’m rubbish” Holly admitted
Steve actually undersold himself when he said he could cook a bit
He could in fact cook very well, exceptionally well.

Steve not being a traditionalist or a fan of the season could certainly make something out of what was on hand in the kitchen.
Holly however wanted to have a roast lunch, with all the trimmings, but after they checked the freezer they had to rule out a roast dinner as the joints would never have defrosted in time, but there were alternatives.
The fresh vegetable stores were limited but more than sufficient for two people.
Although she couldn’t cook herself Holly was determined to help firstly by peeling the potatoes and carrots and then by getting out of his way so he could get on by taking herself off upstairs to get ready for the day.

While Holly was gone Steve finished preparing the food and he was pleased that he had achieved something to suit Holly’s traditional wishes at least in part.
He had just reached the point where he could safely leave the kitchen and get showered and shaved when Holly reappeared and he was stopped in his tracks.
She looked stunning, her mousy hair, washed and styled was adorned with Christmas slides and she was wearing a white wool dress decorated with poinsettias.
And her shapely legs were covered by black tights with motifs of bows and parcels.
As he looked at her he thought to himself that he’d like them to be stockings rather than tights but nice legs were nice legs regardless of what they were sheathed in.
“Wow” Steve exclaimed
“Wow” he said again and Holly blushed
“It’s a Christmas dress you know” she said
“I don’t care” he said
“But you don’t like Christmas”
“It’s growing on me”
“Good” she said “you won’t mind wearing this then”
When would he ever learn, He now had to wear another blessed Christmas sweater.
“Where do you keep getting them from?” he asked
“They’re Uncle Phil’s” she replied “I buy him one every year”
“I’ve never seen Phil in a Christmas jumper” Steve said
“No nor of I” Holly agreed

The Girl in the Christmas Dress (Part Two)

Steve went upstairs, showered and shaved and returned to find Holly had laid a table in the lounge bar, complete with festive serviettes, candles, party poppers and crackers.
On the CD player the Puppini Sisters were in full voice and his natural aversion to Christmas music was tempered by the fact he caught Holly singing and dancing along with the music.
He stayed out of sight in the doorway so he could enjoy the spectacle as long as possible.
When she eventually became aware of him she blushed redder than the poinsettias on her dress.
“How long have you been standing there?” she said suddenly flustered and began fussing with the table.
“Long enough” Steve replied
“You should have said something” Holly said as she headed towards the kitchen
“What and spoil the show” he replied as he followed close behind

Holly carried on with the table while Steve checked the oven and ten minutes later he was transferring everything to serving dishes which Holly took to the table.
All he had left to do was make the gravy and get the Yorkshire puddings out of the oven.
Christmas dinner was as traditional as he could manage given the limits of the provisions available.
It was Holly’s turn to say “Wow” as he served Chicken breast wrapped in bacon, served with Roast potatoes, roast parsnips, carrots, peas, stuffing and Yorkshire pudding.
“What no starters” she said tongue in cheek
Holly lit the candles and Steve opened the wine they pulled the crackers and she made him wear a paper hat.
For desert he served apple pie and ice cream after which they watched the Queens speech.

As soon as the speech was over Holly switched off the TV
“What now?” he asked
“Now we sit and talk” She replied
“You mean “talk”” Steve said
“Yes”
“Do we have to” He said
“How are we supposed to learn about each other if we don’t talk?”
Holly replied
“So what do you want to know?” he said resignedly
“You’re childhood” Holly said with great interest
“What about it?” he replied
“Well, it’s not just Christmas that was unhappy was it”
“No it wasn’t” he replied and Holly settled back to let him unburden himself
“It wasn’t just Christmas, it was Easter, Halloween, birthdays and New Year’s”
He paused and took a drink
“you see My parents were alcoholics, when I was young they managed to somehow keep it under control but once I got to school age I pretty much raised myself, which is how I came to learn to cook because if I didn’t cook I didn’t eat”
They had spent a very pleasant Christmas day together, snowed in at the pub, the last thing he wanted to do was regurgitate the unpleasant moments of his life, particularly as he had been doing his best to forget them.
But once he started he couldn’t stop and by the end of it he was exhausted as they sat in the gathering darkness.
Holly was largely quiet throughout and just added the odd word of encouragement and support.
Holly broke the short period of silence.
“How do you feel?”
“Surprisingly good” he responded

Despite his feeling unburdened there was an awkward silence so Steve disappeared down to the kitchen to make them a snack.
He wondered if he should have held back and if he had unnerved Holly with his honesty.
When he had finished with the snack he put it on a tray and carried it upstairs to the lounge where Holly greeted his arrival with a smile.

“God that was good” Holly said after consuming his offering with relish
“Every cloud has a silver lining” he said referring to the reason he learned to cook,
“There is always a positive” Holly said “you just have to look for it”
“Well that’s what I plan to do” he said and cleared the plates away
“I’ll pour us another drink” He said

When he returned she was sitting with a Christmas present on her lap and she was smiling broadly.
“Happy Christmas” she said as she handed him the gift
“What’s this?” he asked
“Well open it and find out” Holly answered
“I wasn’t expecting a present” he said
Steve sat down and squeezed the package
“Oh no not another Christmas sweater” he said and Holly giggled as he tore the paper open.
But when he had removed all the paper and unfolded its contents he saw it was indeed a sweater but not a novelty Christmas one but a plain blue cashmere.
“That’s fantastic” he said enthusiastically “I love it
“Try it on then” Holly insisted and stood up
Holly took hold of the new one while Steve removed the one he was wearing and then they swapped.
As Steve pulled the cashmere over his head Holly held the novelty one he had just removed up to her nose and inhaled his scent.
“That looks great” she said when it was on
“It feels it” he said “can I keep it on?”
“Yes” she said and held the other one to her breast
He walked over to the tree and plunged his hand in between the branches.
It was perhaps testament to the progress that he had made over such a short period of time that he had actually bought her a present, which he removed from its hiding place and said
“Happy Christmas”
“When did you put that there?” she asked
“This morning” Steve replied
Holly ripped the paper off like a mad woman until she was left with a little blue presentation box embossed with gold relief.
She looked at it in wide eyed wonder, it was jewelry, and from a quality jeweler’s.
She took a deep breath and then opened it and she gasped.
“It’s lovely” she said as she took it out the box and held the gold pendant in her hand.
It was in the shape of a holly leaf with her name engraved on it.
“I love it” she said “put it on for me”
Steve took the pendant from her and when Holly turned her back to him, she reached back and scooped her hair out of the way while he fastened it.
Then she went to the mirror, stood on her tiptoes and looked at herself and admired the pendant.
“I really love it” Holly said and let out a squeal and then for the second day running they ended the day with a passionate kiss.

Things That Go Bump, Electrickery and Other Disasters

It was in the early hours of Christmas morning when I was awoken by a loud crash from the direction of the chimney breast.
I look around and my wife who is a very light sleeper hadn’t stirred.
Now given the time of the year and the time of night someone younger or more impressionable might have thought it was Father Christmas about his work in the chimney.
However being a grizzled old cynic I thought it more likely to be either a burglar or perhaps the wind blowing over my chimney or even subsidence.
I lay awake for about ten minutes trying to work out what the noise was and hearing no further noises I decided it must have been a dream and went back to sleep.

A few hours later awoken suddenly again this time by three excitement crazed children dragging their sacks of presents behind them on thing was for sure there would be no return to sleep after this disturbance.
When the children had opened all their stocking presents they rushed off downstairs for breakfast leaving a scene of devastation behind them.

After breakfast I went back upstairs and showered and then went into the bedroom to dress for the day.
On opening the wardrobe door I discovered the source of the crash that had woken me up several hours earlier.
The rail in the wardrobe had collapsed and all the clothes were in a heap at the bottom on top of the shoes.
“So it wasn’t a dream then” I said to myself.
Five minutes later and wearing a slightly creased shirt I made my way back downstairs to what sounded like bedlam.

The rest of the morning went according to plan; the children opened their main presents from under the tree and disappeared off to play with their favourites.

By twelve o’clock the dining table was laid complete with my late mother’s best table cloth, Christmas napkins, party favours, best china, glassware and the brand new table centre while emanating from the kitchen was the sound of steam rattling the saucepan lids together with the mouth-watering aroma of roasting Turkey.
In the lounge my wife was holding court with myself and her parents looking on as she was opening the few presents that still remained.
I left the group to go and boil the kettle for a drink as I entered the kitchen I looked at the electric cooker and there was one ring lit with nothing on it so I checked the other rings to make sure that the saucepan with the potatoes had heat under it which it did.
So I went to switch off the vacant ring only to discover it was already switched off.
Now there had been a little water spilled on the hob from where one of the pans had begun to boil over so I mopped up the spillage and using reverse psychology I turned the rogue ring on believing this would in fact turn it off, it didn’t it just tripped the breaker in the meter cupboard instead.
I went to the cupboard and reset the breaker and it tripped immediately.
So then we decided to wait for ten minutes before we repeated the exercise which ended with the same result.
It was decided that we could not use the cooker as it was just too dangerous.
With my wife almost in tears I said “it’s not the end of the world darling, and nobody died”.
So with true Dunkirk spirit we made the best of a bad situation.
As luck would have it the Turkey was cooked as was the stuffing, sausages and the Potatoes where boiled.
The remaining vegetables we were able to cook in the microwave and all we had to forgo were the roast potatoes and parsnips.
Now it wasn’t the most successful Christmas lunch we ever had but it could have been a lot worse.
“Bad things always come in three’s” I think we all thought it but equally all refrained from saying it out loud.

The next day, Sunday, passed off without incident for us anyway, my wife had to hit the stores in the Boxing Day sales to choose a new cooker.

Its late in the evening when, sitting down in front of the TV we see the news for the first time that day and we here the dreadful news about the Tsunami for the first time and even then it didn’t even hint at just how big a tragedy it really was.
Two hundred and fifty thousand dead in a heartbeat from Indonesia to sir Lanka and beyond and still counting.

We had our new cooker delivered on Thursday 30th December we were inconvenienced for five whole days.
Five days before normality was restored to our household.
Many of The survivors of the Tsunami will never have their lives restored to what they knew before Boxing Day.

Count your blessing, and make the best of what you have because it’s a lot more than many.

Tied Up With Tinsel # 4

FESTIVE FACT # 24

In Germany, during the reformation carols were greatly disapproved of, so as a result many were converted into hymns.

FESTIVE FACT # 22

The first church to be built in New York or New Amsterdam as it was at the time was built by the Dutch.
When it was completed the Dutch named it in honor of the gift giving Saint - St Nicholas.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER
- CHRISTMAS IN CONNECTICUT

The 1945 film “Christmas in Connecticut” tells the amusing story of a magazine writer, played by Barbara Stanwyck, famous for being an expert cook, mother and homemaker who has to entertain a war hero (Dennis Morgan) and her employer (Sydney Greenstreet) at her home on a Connecticut farm.
The only snag being that she can only write about homemaking, she isn’t a mother, she isn’t married and as for cooking she can’t even boil water and she lives in a small apartment in the city.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER
- IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE

No Christmas would be complete with watching Frank Capra’s 1946 classic “It’s A Wonderful Life”.
It was not a success at the box office at the time but it is now one of the most popular and heartwarming films ever made.
A typical performance by the ever dependable James Stewart is supported by the beautiful Donna Reed and playing the grasping villain of the piece Lionel Barrymore.
The film is a slightly dark almost bittersweet tale of a savings and loan manager, and a bit an Earnest do-gooder George Bailey (James Stewart) who struggles against a greedy banker and his own self-doubting nature in a small town.
After suffering a financial catastrophe he see suicide as a possible solution to his predicament only to be rescued by a whimsical, endearing, trainee-angel named Clarence (Henry Travers).
Bailey after years of feeling trapped in a small town finally recognizes his life as wonderful and truly rich.
It’s definitely not the kind of film that would be made today as nobody writes happy endings anymore.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER
- MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET

There have been two versions of Miracle on 34th Street and both are well worth watching.
The 1947 version starred Maureen O'Hara and John Payne with Edmund Gwenn as Kris Kringle while in 1994 there parts were played by Elizabeth Perkins, Dylan McDermott and Richard Attenborough.
It’s the story of a child brought up by her mother not to believe in Santa Claus however the mother unknowingly employs Kris Kringle to be Santa Claus at Macy’s department store.
Eventually he has to go to trial to prove he is the real Santa.
Apart from being hugely enjoyable films they both have in common the fact that the child stole the show in each case.
Natalie Wood in the original and Mara Wilson in the remake, both were a delight.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER
- WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

The 1995 film 'While You Were Sleeping' is the story of a lonely young woman, Lucy Eleanor Moderatz (Sandra Bullock) who lives alone in an apartment in Chicago, with only her cat.
She works in the token booth at a subway station and fanaticizes about being rescued from her lot by a handsome stranger, Peter, who comes to her booth.
Then on Christmas day her world is turned upside down when the handsome stranger is mugged and pushed onto the tracks and she saves his life.
After a mix up at the hospital Lucy is introduced to Peter’s eccentric family as his fiancée.
This begins an amusing chain of events, during which Lucy finds the friendship and sense of belonging to a family which had been missing from her life and as a result she can’t bring herself to tell the family the truth.
Then she falls in love with Peter’s brother Jack (Bill Pullman).
It’s a truly heartwarming love story not to be missed.

POINSETTIA THE FLOWER OF THE HOLY NIGHT

The Poinsettia is named after the USA's first ambassador to Mexico, Joel Robert Poinsett, who served from 1825-1829.
He saw and was greatly taken with the colorful indigenous plant which was the Mexican Christmas flower.
The Aztecs called Poinsettias "Cuetlaxochitle." And between the 14th and 16th centuries the sap was used to control fevers and the red leaves were used to make dye.
Montezuma, the last of the Aztec kings was particularly fond of Poinsettias and had them brought especially to what is now Mexico City because the shrub could not be grown at high altitude.
Poinsett took some specimen plants with him on one of his trips back to America in 1828 and they flourished.
Despite an outstanding career as a United States Congressman and an ambassador he will always be remembered for introducing the Poinsettia into the United States.
the Mexicans believed the plants were symbolic of the Star of Bethlehem because of the star shapes created by the bright red leaves Thus the Poinsettia became associated with the Christmas season.
The Mexicans call the poinsettia "Flower of the Holy Night".

POISONOUS POINSETTIAS

Since the early part of the 20th century a rumor has persisted that Poinsettias are poisonous.
For over eighty years this rumor has continued to circulate because of an alleged incident in 1919 when the two year old child of an Army office allegedly died after eating a Poinsettia leaf.
It was never proved by medicine or science and no other incidents have been reported but the rumor persists.
Even if they are not poisonous don’t eat them anyway not at Christmas on any other time.

THE PEASANT GIRL AND THE POINSETTIA ANGEL

A Mexican legend tells of the reason for the Poinsettia becoming the Christmas flower.
There was a poor peasant girl really wanted to take a gift to honor the Virgin Mary at the Christmas Eve service but she had nothing to give.
Although she was very upset and disappointed she knew she still had to go to the service and she decided that she would have to go with nothing.
On the way to the church she was met by an angel, who asked her why she was sad.
The peasant girl told the angel it was because she had no gift for the virgin.
The angel told the girl to pick some weeds.
The girl was a little unconvinced that weeds would be suitable but she did it anyway.
She turned back towards the angle to show her the bunch of weeds she had picked as saw that they had been transformed into the bright scarlet 'flowers'.
Ever since that miracle poinsettias have graced churches and homes during the Christmas festival.

TURKEY

A stuffed turkey still occupies pride of place on many a traditional Christmas table.
The Turkey was first brought to Europe from Mexico by the Spanish in the 16th century.
It was very quickly domesticated in Spain, France and England and soon dislodged the goose as the traditional festive bird.

THE FESTIVAL OF SAN NICOLA

In Italy the big San Nicola festival commemorates the event of 1087 when the mortal remains of St. Nicholas where brought to Bari.
Many Christians were sufficiently concerned after the Turks occupied Myra they would no longer be permitted to visit the Saints tomb.
So a group of Italian sailors spirited them away to Bari where a huge was Cathedral was built in his honor.
At the festival every May, Nicola's statue is taken out to sea for a day and then Thousands welcome it back to Bari with a lighted procession winding from the harbor to a public square.
The mayor and other dignitaries greet the statue and address the crowds. The week-long celebration includes a solemn high mass in the basilica which is filled to over-flowing with devout worshipers.

FESTIVE FACT # 9

Rudolph, with the shiny red nose, was the ninth reindeer.
He was created in 1939 by an advertising writer for the Montgomery Ward agency.
The song of the classic children’s favorite wasn’t written until ten years later.

THE ROSE, THE CLOVE AND THE SAGE

As King Herod’s savage minions systematically scoured the countryside around Bethlehem, cutting the throats of any newborns they came across, Mary and Joseph fled across the mountains of Judea.
Seeing a village ahead, Joseph ran on to ask for hospitality but alas the people would not help.
While Mary was alone, seated by the roadside nursing the child Joseph took the donkey to drink from the well.
Then she heard shouts getting closer and the ground shook under the hooves of approaching horses. Then she realized it must be Herod’s soldiers.
She had to hide but she could see nowhere suitable no rocks or caves or even a tree.
The only thing Mary could see was a bush where a rose was beginning to bloom.
She walked to the bush and said "Rose, beautiful rose, please open out your petals and hide this child who they want to kill and his poor half-dead mother."
The rose replied, "Get on your way, young woman, and quickly in case the butchers brush by me and blemish my beautiful bloom. Go and see the clove over there. Tell her to shelter you. She has enough flowers to hide you."
She walked to the clove and said "Clove, pretty Clove, please open your branches and hide this child who they want to kill and his poor half-dead mother."
The clove replied,
"On your way, you wretched creature. I don’t have time to listen to you. I am too busy producing blooms all over. Go and see the sage plant over there. She has nothing better to do than dispense charity."
She walked to the bush and said "Sage, good Sage, please lift up your leaves and hide this child who they want to kill and his poor half-dead mother."
The sage plant then burst out in such abundant blossoms so as to cover all the earth and its velvety leaves made a canopy for the Christ child and His mother to shelter under
On the road, Herod's men passed by and saw nothing. At the sound of the soldiers passing, Mary shivered in terror but the baby smiled as he was caressed by the leaves. Then the soldiers were gone.
When Herod's men were gone, Mary and Jesus came out from their green refuge.
“Sage, holy sage, thank you. I bless you for your good deed which will always be remembered.”
Then Joseph found them, with the donkey which had been restored by a huge serving of barley which a kindly man had given him.
Mary remounted the donkey, and hugged her precious child.
When Michael, the Archangel of God, descended from the realms of Heaven to keep them company and show them the way to Egypt.
Since that time the rose has had thorns, the clove has foul smelling flowers and the sage plant is used to cure many ills.

FESTIVE FACT # 5

Many families in Finland visit cemeteries at Christmas time to place candles on the graves of friends and loved ones.

KRSNA SLAVA

The Orthodox Christian families in Serbia and Montenegro all have their own patron saint.
Each family then celebrates the Saints feast day with a unique Serbian Orthodox religious tradition in the form of Thanksgiving.
This is done on the anniversary of when their ancestors were baptized because when Serbians accepted Christianity whole families, villages or tribes where baptized at the same time.
The same saint is passed down through the generations.
Sveti Nikola or St. Nicholas is the patron saint for more than half of all the Serbian families and as a result many people celebrate on the 6th of December, either with their own family or as a guest elsewhere.
This is the Krsna Slava.
Krsna Slava is not just feasting, singing, and festival, but more importantly it’s a time of spiritual renewal and rededication to the Orthodox faith and church.
The Slava is also a family reunion usually held in the home of the family's oldest living member to commemorate the patron saint.
An Icon of the family's patron saint is on display and a candle, for Christ the Light of the World is lit.
A boiled wheat dish, representing Christ's death and resurrection is served with Slava bread decorated with cross and seal, for Jesus Christ the Bread of Life.
Red wine, for the blood of Christ's washing away sin.
A priest blesses the home and all within and all offer the prayer of Thanksgiving before the icon.
Serbian Orthodox observes Krsna Slava wherever they are live, not just in Serbia.
It is a very important day for the Serbian Orthodox church.

SANTA’S SOJOURN

Since the 1950s Santa Claus has, once the Christmas rush is over of course, happily sojourned at Napapiiri, near Rovaniemi in the Arctic Circle.
While there he has always been more than happy to meet children and the young at heart.
His visits to Napapiiri had become such a regular occurrence that in 1985 he established his own Santa Claus Office there.
He is available almost every day of the year to hear the children’s requests and to talk to children who have arrived from around the world.
A Village is now well established and it is now the location of Santa's main Post Office, which receives Christmas letters from children in every corner of the world.

THE LATVIAN WAY

The Latvians believe that the gift giver brings presents on each of the 12 days of Christmas starting on Christmas Eve and ending on epiphany, which is celebrated on January 6.
Usually the presents are put under the family Christmas tree.
What a lovely idea to spread Christmas magic out a little longer.

SANTA SCOOP

In 1925, a story was leaked to the international press claiming that due to a lack of grazing for the reindeer Santa Claus had to relocate from the North Pole.
The newspapers revelations when on to claim that Santa Claus had, in fact, moved his entire operation to Finnish Lapland.
There was a great deal of speculation about the validity of the claims until In 1927 "Uncle Markus" or Markus Rautio, who compared the popular "Children's hour" on Finnish public radio, revealed more information about the great secret for the first time.
He not only confirmed the newspaper reports of two years earlier that Santa Claus had moved to Lapland but even went on to name the place Korvatunturi translated as "Ear Fell" which is situated on Finland's eastern frontier.

MOLFETTA

On St. Nicholas Eve, The children in the Italian city of Molfetta, on the Adriatic coast, put a plate on the table with a letter asking for gifts and promising to be good in the coming year.
Austria
In Austria St. Nicholas, is honored throughout the land and It is said that as a reward for his generosity God allowed him to return to earth each year to bring gifts to all the good children of the world.

TORTUOUS TUNE

Christmas has inevitably become the time of year when every man and his dog decides to release a Christmas song.
Most of which would be instantly forgettable if it were not for the operators of supermarkets, department stores, shopping centers and hotels.
The insidious recordings of the Christmas wannaby’s are on a spooled tape which is played discriminately on shop floors, concourses, hotel lobbies and elevators inflicting customers and staff alike with the tortuous tones from October onwards.

CELTIC YULE

The Celts used to bring a large log indoors as a tribute to the sun god this was called the Yule log.
Celts in Cornwall, during the Christmas reveling would chalk a symbol of a man on the Yule log in a cheery reference to the human sacrifices who used to be thrown on the bonfire.

FESTIVE FACT # 14

In 1649 the first American Christmas carol was written by a minister named John de Brebeur and was called "Jesus is born".

JAPANESE MANDARINS

In Canada Japanese oranges have a special meaning to the people who live on the Canadian Prairies.
The arrival of a gift from the East, at the coldest time of the year has brightened many homes and Christmas feasts for over a hundred years.
It is believed by many that the festive season only really begins when Santa Claus welcomes the first shipment of Japanese mandarin oranges at the Port of Vancouver.
The shipment of fruit is accompanied by young Japanese girls dressed in tradition kimonos.
On Christmas morning the wonderful fruit is found in many a child's Christmas stocking.

THE NORWEGIAN TREE

The Christmas tree that stands in Trafalgar square every is the traditional Christmas gift to the people of Britain
Every year since 1947 the city of Oslo in Norway has presented the city of Westminster, London with a Christmas tree.
The first tree was a token of Norwegian appreciation of British friendship and support during the Second World War.
After the German forces invaded Norway in 1940, king Haakon vii was helped to escape Britain and a Norwegian government in exile was set up in London.
To the Norwegian people, London came to represent the spirit of freedom as during the dark days of occupation.
It was from London that the latest news was broadcast in Norwegian.
Also there were concealed messages for resistance groups were also broadcast at the same time.
The radio transmissions became a life line for the Norwegian people.
The tree is a powerful symbol of the close and warm relationship between the peoples of Britain and Norway.
The Norwegians are as proud to present their token of friendship as are the people of Britain to receive it.
The tree is a Norwegian spruce and is chosen from the forests surrounding Oslo with great care.
A particular tree can be earmarked for Trafalgar square for anything from several months to a couple of years in advance.
The tree is usually 70 ft. tall and in the region of 50 years old.
The Norwegian foresters responsible for its care describe it fondly as 'the queen of the forest'.
The tree is felled one day in November in the presence of the British ambassador to Norway and the mayors of Oslo and Westminster they even take active part in the felling.
As part of the ceremony local schoolchildren sing Christmas carols and 'forest coffee' and sandwiches are served.
The tree is then shipped across the North Sea to England and then by special transport to Trafalgar square.
The operation to erect the tree takes several hours a scaffolding tower is erected so the tree can be winched upright.
The base of the trees trunk is pushed four feet into the ground and it is then secured with a dozen’s of wooden wedges.
With no other form of support the tree stands unsupported again as it did in the forest.
The lighting ceremony takes place in the dusky early evening of the first Thursday in December.
A band play’s loudly and a choir sings Christmas carols as the mayor of Westminster arrives with other officials in his party.
Then after due ceremony and a flick of a switch the Christmas tree comes alive, in line with Norwegian tradition all the lights are white; the tree turns into a twinkling mass of white lights.
Carols are sung by the choir of nearby St martin-in-the-fields, and carol concerts are held in the square.
A crib is provided by the vicar of St. Martin-in-the-fields and it is placed on the west side of the square.
The passing public may stop on their way home from work and join the carol singers every night until Christmas.

FESTIVE FACT # 15

Christkind is an angelic messenger from Jesus a beautiful fair haired girl with a shining crown of candles.

Tied Up With Tinsel # 3

THE TINSEL WIDOW

The Christian legend of the origins of tinsel concerns a poor widow who was left alone to care for her large family.
It was the first Christmas since the death of her husband and she was determined to make Christmas as special as she could possibly could for her children.
The poor widow worked every hour god sent her washing, cleaning and baking for the town’s people.
She went to the nearby forest and cut a Christmas tree for the house but it was a struggle for them to survive on her meager income and they could afford no decorations for it.
Instead she and her children made decorations for the tree they made snowflakes from scraps of paper and garlands from strips of old cloth and for baubles they used pine cones.
Working together they trimmed it as beautifully as they could with what little they had.
Spiders invaded the tree as they slept and as they crawled from branch to branch they left their shimmering webs behind them.
A watching angel knowing the family would be devastated by what the spiders had done transformed the webs into shimmering strands of silver.
When they awoke next morning they could not believe their eyes and they did indeed have a very special Christmas.

CHRISTMAS GIFTS

People have different perceptions as to the custom of The exchanging of Christmas presents some say it can be traced back to an ancient Roman custom of gift-giving which was practiced at the festival of Saturnalia.
It would certainly appear easy to make the transition from making an offering to a pagan deity to giving a gift.
Others believe that when the custom was Christianized the reason for gift-giving was attributed to represent the gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh that the Magi brought from the East when they sought out the newborn Jesus Christ.
But the most popular belief by far is that the custom is derived from the greatest gift-giver of all St Nicholas.

THE TINSEL ANGELS

One Christmas legend tells that as a child Jesus Christ was decorating a tree helped by a chorus of angels.
One of the angels got their hair caught on the branches of the tree as they were leaving and it instantly transformed into fine strands of silver tinsel.

IRISH SUPERSTITION

A Christmas superstition In Ireland holds that the gates of Heaven open at midnight on Christmas Eve and all those who die on Christmas Day will go straight to Heaven.

THE HANGING OF GREENS - HOLLY

The hanging of greens, such as Holly, Ivy and Mistletoe is a British winter tradition with origins far before the Christian era.
Greenery was used to lift people’s spirits during the long winter and remind them that spring was not far away.
Although holly is the only traditional decorative green which remains of the once famous duo of Holly and Ivy both have an ancient association with the winter festivities.
The Romans used holly during their Solstice celebration, known as Saturnalia and it had a close association with the God Dionysus.
Holly boughs were given as gifts during Saturnalia as it was believed to protect against lightning strikes and ward off evil spirits.
The Druids also held holly in very high esteem as a plant of death and regeneration.
The ancient custom was to decorate the doorway with intertwined garlands of holly and ivy which represented unity between the dual halves of divinity the Holly with its red berries representing the color of life and life’s blood was the Goddess and female while Ivy was the eternal representation of consort to the goddess and therefore was masculine in nature.
The Tradition stands that the first in the household whether male or female to bring Holly into the house would rule the roost for the coming year.
When Christianity spread across Europe, holly became synonymous with the word "holy."
It invoked great symbolism, its prickly leaves represented the crown of thorns worn by Jesus and the bright red berries represent the drops of blood He shed on the cross.
Legend tells that the berries of the holly plant were once yellow in color but were stained red by the blood of Christ.
Holly as with all the evergreen’s holly symbolizes eternal life.

BORN ON CHRISTMAS DAY # 1

Princess Alexandra was born on Christmas day 1936 at 3, Belgrave Square in London.
Conrad Hilton the founder of the hotel chain was born 1887
Dorothy Wordsworth the English prose writer and younger sister of poet William Wordsworth was born in 1771 in Cockermouth Cumbria.
Sir Isaac Newton the renowned scientist was born near Grantham in Lincolnshire, on December 25, 1642
And Humphrey Deforest Bogart was born on Christmas day in 1899 in New York.

THE HANGING OF GREENS - GARLANDS

The hanging of greens, such as Holly, Ivy and Mistletoe is a British winter tradition with origins far before the Christian era.
Greenery was used to lift people’s spirits during the long winter and remind them that spring was not far away.
The original Garlands were made by intertwining Holly and Ivy into thick vines of greenery and used in the ancient custom to decorate doorways.
The Holly and Ivy represented the unity between the dual halves of divinity the Holly was the Goddess and was feminine while the Ivy was the eternal consort to the goddess and therefore was masculine in nature.
The modern Garlands are very colorful but they are artificial and have no other purpose than to look nice.

SILVER TINSEL

It was in Germany that tinsel was first invented and it was made from real silver.
A crude machine was used to shred the silver into thin strips which were then twisted onto a central wire.
This was indeed a luxury product although and obviously only available to the privileged classes.
However the silver tinsel did not last forever as Silver would tarnish and lose its shine in time.
Despite its lack of longevity however it remained in use by those who could afford it until a cheaper artificial alternative was invented.

BELLS

On Christmas morning since medieval times Church bells are rung on Christmas morning to announce to the world the birth of Jesus Christ.
A legend has it that the bells were rung for an hour before midnight on the first Christmas Eve to warm the forces of darkness of the imminent arrival of the Savior and at the stroke of midnight the pitch of the bells changed into a joyous peal.
The sounding of the bells had another purpose namely to announce the death of the Devil which would come to pass upon by the coming of Jesus Christ.
This is why the church bell is also known as 'the Old Lad's Passing bell', 'Old Lad' being a euphemism for Satan.
The pealing bells also chase away evil spirits which easy repelled by any joyous sound.
The bells also have more frivolous uses than announcing the Savior on Christmas morning.
The bells are often used as Christmas tree decorations and also they adorn Christmas cards.
Traditionally Wassailers would use bells to announce their presence by ringing them and Father Christmas has jingling bells accompanying the progress of his sleigh.

THE BOARS HEAD

Serving a roasted boar's head was for many years associated with Christmas feasting in England.
It probably harks back to the Norse custom of sacrificing a boar at Yuletide in honor of the Norse god Freyr.
A more amusing telling of the story relates to a student at Oxford's Queen’s College who was attacked one Christmas Day by a wild boar.
As the Boar charged the poor student was armed with nothing more lethal than a copy of Aristotle, so with all his strength he thrust the book down the boar's throat killing it in its tracks.
The student however wanted his book back so he cut off the animal's head which he took back to the college where it was served for Christmas dinner amidst much pomp and ceremony.

CAROL SINGING

The custom of singing carols at Christmas is of English origin which began in the middle ages.
In the beginning the singing of Christmas carols was known as 'wassailing'.
But this soon changed and the singers became known as carolers when groups of serenaders called "waits" would travel around from house to house singing ancient carols and spreading the holiday spirit.
The word "carol" means "song of joy."
The reason Christmas carols became so popular was that the angels sang when they appeared to the shepherds at Bethlehem to announce the birth of Jesus Christ's.
The original meaning of a carol is quite different to what we imagine it to be today for a carol was once a secular dance which was performed at any time of the year.
People danced around in a circle holding hands and singing songs.
The dance reminded onlookers of a coronet so they called it a 'carol'. The name was transferred later on from the dance to the song itself. Carols
By the 16th century carols were sung only at Christmas time and at one time only Bishops and clergy were permitted to sing carols in church.
But carols became too popular amongst the public to be confined to church and were soon sung in the streets.
A true Carol tells the story in song of the birth of Christ and is sung during period leading up to Christmas.

CHRISTMAS DATE

It was in the 4th century when The Catholic Church decided to celebrate Christmas on December 25th.
The idea behind it was a simple enough one in that they wanted to eclipse the festivities of a rival pagan religion that threatened Christianity's existence.
At that time of the year The Romans celebrated the birthday of their sun god, Mithras.
Church leaders decided that in order to compete with the pagan’s they needed a festival of their own at the same time so they chose to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.
And it worked.

THE HANGING OF GREENS - WREATHS

The hanging of greens, such as Holly, Ivy and Mistletoe is a British winter tradition with origins far before the Christian era.
Greenery was used to lift people’s spirits during the long winter and remind them that spring was not far away.
The holly wreath with its red berries and other decorations dates back to the 17th century.
The roundness of the Wreath and the sharpness of its pointed Holly leaves symbolized Christ's crown-of-thorns and its Red berries the drops of Christ's blood.
The wreath was intertwined with red ribbons to express the festive spirit and the evergreen leaves stood for everlasting life and promised faithfulness to the Lord.
The Wreath which is traditionally displayed on the front door of a home during the weeks of Advent and the Christmas season once was a multiple role.
Harking back to its pagan origins the wreath was believed to protect a home from evil spirits and during the Middle Ages the red Holly berries were thought to keep witches at bay.
A wreath on the door at Christmas signified a home that celebrated the birth of Christ.

SILENT NIGHT

On the morning of Christmas Eve in 1818, an Austrian priest called Joseph Mohr, was told that the church organ was broken and would not be repaired in time for the Christmas Eve service.
He was so saddened at the prospect of Christmas without music that he decided he would try to write a carol that could be sung by the choir and be accompanied by guitar music.
So Joseph sat down and wrote three stanzas and later that night the people in the little Austrian Church in Oberndorff sang "Stille Nacht" for the first time.

DIED ON CHRISTMAS DAY # 1

W.C. Fields (William Claude Dukenfield) died December 25, 1946 aged 66 in Pasadena.
Paul Bourget the French novelist and critic died 1935.
The comic film star Charles Spencer Chaplin died at his home in Switzerland in 1977 aged 88.
And in 1995 entertainer Dean Martin died at his Beverly Hills home at the age of 78.

FESTIVE FACT # 19

The first commercial Christmas card caused something of a controversy when they first appeared in 1846.
The cards featured a drawing depicting a group of family members happily toasting each other with glasses of wine.
This was considered to be a shockingly decadent portrait and was immediately condemned by temperance advocates.

FESTIVE FACT # 17

On Christmas day 1066 William the Conqueror was crowned King of England.

DEVON SUPERSTITION

If, on Christmas Eve, in the county of Devon, a girl knocks on the henhouse door and a rooster crows, she will be married within the year.

ARTIFICIAL TREES

As so many Christmas innovations artificial trees originated in Germany towards the end of the 1800’s.
The trees were formed from Metal wire and covered with feathers Goose, Turkey, Ostrich or Swan and the feathers would be died green to imitate pine needles.
Then In the 1930's, the Addis Brush Company in America created the first artificial-brush trees.
They used the same machinery as that used to make their toilet brushes.
It was in 1950 that The Addis 'Silver Pine' tree was patented.

The tree was designed to have a revolving light source under it which would shine through colored gels casting different shades of light as it revolved beneath the tree.
Not a million miles away from the fiber optic trees we have today.

WASSAIL

Wassail, which was much liked by the English, accompanied hearty Christmas meals.
The word 'wassail' dates back to the pre-Christian times and practices and is derived from the Anglo Saxon phrase waes hael which meant "be thou well" or "good health.
Originally, wassail was a beverage made of mulled ale, curdled cream, roasted apples, nuts, eggs, and spices and it was served for the purpose of enhancing the general merriment of the season.
A toast was traditionally offered with a drink at regular intervals and normally with little or no reason.
It was important that after well-wishers had shared in the spirit of the toast and taken a sip that they top up the bowl.
The wassail bowl had to remain full from Christmas Eve to Twelfth Night
And much care was taken to ensure that it did in order to ensure the continuity of good cheer throughout this festive season.
The wassail bowl would be carried from room to room often accompanied by the singing of festive songs which is perhaps why the early practice of carol singing was referred to as 'wassailing’.
Part of the Wassailing ritual was more concerned in seeing nature renew itself in the spring and the belief in its ability to magically bestow fertility on one and all.

THE HANGING OF GREENS – IVY

The hanging of greens, such as holly, ivy and Mistletoe is a British winter tradition with origins far before the Christian era.
Greenery was used to lift people’s spirits during the long winter and remind them that spring was not far away.
Ivy, the accepted symbol of friendship, like Holly and Mistletoe, has since pagan times been used as a decoration at festivals.
The ancient custom was to decorate the doorway with intertwined garlands of Holly and Ivy which represented unity between the dual halves of divinity the Holly was the Goddess and female while Ivy was the eternal representation of consort to the goddess and therefore was masculine in nature.
In pagan religions Ivy had been a symbol of eternal life while the Christians believe it stands for the new promise of eternal life.
The Romans used Ivy as part of celebrations related to the god Bacchus, whose worshippers were thought to have worn Ivy crowns.
We rarely decorate our houses with ivy anymore at Christmas but many homes have potted ivy plants in the home all year round.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER
- THE BISHOPS WIFE

The 1947 film “The Bishop's Wife” Tells the tale of An Episcopal Bishop, Henry Brougham played by David Niven, who has been working for months on the plans for a new cathedral paid for by a selfish and stubborn widow Mrs. Hamilton, Gladys Cooper.
As a result he begins to lose sight of his wife, Julia, Loretta Young and family and of why he joined the church in the first place.
So Dudley, an angel, Cary Grant, is sent to help him.
Dudley help’s everyone he meets, but not always in the way they would have chosen.
None the less everyone liked Dudley except Henry.
As Christmas approaches Henry begins to believe that Dudley is there to replace him, at work, and in his family’s affections.
A gem of a movie.

FESTIVE FACT # 21

The biggest selling Christmas single of all time is Irving Berlin’s White Christmas sung by Bing Crosby's.

FESTIVE FACT # 23

During the Reformation in Switzerland, all instrumental and choral music was banned from churches.

THE CANDY CANE

The humble candy cane has been around for nearly four hundred years.
It was during the seventeenth century when European Christians began the use of Christmas trees as part of their Christmas celebrations and they began making special edible decorations for their trees.
The first of these decorations were cookies and sugar-sticks.
It was very soon after the all-white candy canes were given out to children after a nativity service that sweet makers both professional and amateur began making the straight hard white sugar-sticks.
The custom of clergymen handing out candy canes after Christmas services spread throughout Europe and then later to America.
There is an historical reference that a choirmaster at cologne cathedral bent a candy stick into the shape of a shepherds crook as early as 1670.
The canes remained all white and straight but sometimes the confectioners would add sugar-roses to embellish the canes.
It was at the start of the 20th century that the canes acquired their familiar red stripes.
Great religious significance has been bestowed upon the humble candy cane for example the white indicates the purity of our lord, the three stripes represent the holy trinity the red is for the blood of Christ and the crook on its top is for the shepherds.
The hardness of the candy represents the church's foundation on solid rock and the peppermint flavor the use of hyssop, an herb referred to in the Old Testament.
And last but by no means least if you turn the cane upside down you have a letter “j” which, yes you’ve guessed it is for Jesus.
There is no historical evidence to support these claims, quite the contrary, but they are lovely thoughts.
Around the same time as the stripe arrived so did the flavorings, Peppermint and wintergreen and they have remained unchanged ever since.
During the 1950’s a catholic priest called Gregory Keller is credited with invented a machine which automated candy cane production.