My mum got me a jumper
That fits what it touched
My sister got me novelty socks
That didn’t cost very much
My dad got me a Philishave
To shave between my spots
My Nan got me a scarf
And a box of jelly tots
But it’s the identity
That I would like to know
Of who got me the condoms
Tied up with a bow
The three wise men
Traveled for days before reaching Bethlehem
And arrived after the birth
They stood and viewed the scene in awe
And knelt reverently in the lords presence
Then gave their gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh
The three wise women
Would have stopped to ask directions
And arrived before the birth
They would have delivered the baby
Then they would have cleaned the stable and cooked a
meal
Before giving the baby really useful gifts
Martin Taylor (George Newbern) realises he has totally lost touch with his family, he has no clue who his teenage daughter, Lu, (Taylor Spreitler) is or who her friends are, he has no idea why his son, Adam (Aidan Potter) only communicates with him via an electronic sign outside his bedroom door, or why his youngest child Jessie (Francesca Capaldi) only watches faith TV.
His whacky survivalist brother Sam,
(Kevin Crowley) convinces him that the family needs to reconnect, so Martin
surprises his wife Jackie (Megyn Price) and his kids with a
little experiment, he locks them in their own home with no power, no heat, no
running water, and absolutely no contact with the world outside!
The sudden holiday staycation isn't what the Taylors had in mind for the
weekend, but they have to team up to prove they can survive Dad's wacky
mission.
The multi-talented
Writer and director, Corbin Bernsen, also appears in an enjoyable cameo as a
cameraman.
HARK THE HERALD ANGELS SING
Music by Felix Mendelssohn, lyrics by Charles Wesley
Hark! the herald
angels sing,
"Glory to the new-born King;
Peace on earth, and mercy mild,
God and sinners reconciled!"
Joyful, all ye nations, rise,
Join the triumph of the skies;
With the angelic host proclaim,
" Christ is born in Bethlehem!"
Hark! the herald
angels sing,
"Glory to the new-born King;
Christ, by highest
heaven adored:
Christ, the ever-lasting Lord!
Late in time behold him come,
Off-spring of the virgin's womb.
Veiled in flesh the God-head see;
Hail the incarnate Deity;
Pleased as man with men to dwell,
Jesus, our Emmanuel.
Hark! the herald
angels sing,
"Glory to the new-born King;
Hail the heaven-born
Prince of Peace!
Hail the Sun of Righteousness!
Light and life to all he brings,
Risen with healing in his wings,
Mild he lays his glory by,
Born that man no more may die,
Born to raise the sons of earth,
Born to give them second birth.
Hark! the herald
angels sing,
"Glory to the new-born King;
Come, Desire of
nations, come,
Fix in us Thy humble home;
Rise, the woman’s conqu’ring Seed,
Bruise in us the serpent’s head.
Now display Thy saving power,
Ruined nature now restore;
Now in mystic union join
Thine to ours, and ours to Thine.
Hark! the herald
angels sing,
"Glory to the new-born King;
Adam’s likeness, Lord,
efface,
Stamp Thine image in its place:
Second Adam from above,
Reinstate us in Thy love.
Let us Thee, though lost, regain,
Thee, the Life, the inner man:
O, to all Thyself impart,
Formed in each believing heart.
Hark! the herald angels sing,
Every Christmas day is the same
The Browns come round for lunch
I dread the time as it approaches
There a bloody awful bunch
He’s an opinionated git
She’s a loudmouthed fishwife
Their kids run amuck unchecked
Causing trouble and strife
They drink all my booze
And eat every crumb of food
They’re uncouth and vulgar
Obnoxious and just plain rude
They are a truly horrible family
I wish I could show them the door
They have no redeeming features
God I hate my brother in law
It was a bitterly cold and bleak Christmas morn
And had been snowing heavily since before the dawn
And for the morning service the waiting minister
Was eventually joined by just one solitary farmer
The clergyman said “Well even though it’s Christmas day
I don’t suppose there's no point in having a service today.”
The farmer replied “Well that's not quite how I see it.
If only one cow turns up at feeding time, I still feed it.”
A group of six tourists and their driver get lost after a mysterious mist descends onto the Californian Hills, but they find their way to an elegant mansion on a hilltop where they meet an eccentric and overly cheerful middle-aged couple who introduce themselves as Nanna and Pop (Cynthia Rothrock and Christopher Mitchum) who invite them to stay for the weekend.
However their cheerful
hosts soon reveal themselves as the actual Santa Claus and his wife who spend
every summer away from the North Pole at their summer house in Southern
California.
Everyone is sceptical
of situation except for teenager Andy, (Elijah Adams), who is dealing with his
bickering and workaholic parents, Dean and Sadie, (Gary Daniels and Kathy Long)
who is more accepting about Nanna and Pop's claims, and during the weekend,
Nanna and Pop try to open up their guests to brightness and positively to
better their lives and to find the true meaning of happiness.
