CHRISTMAS EVE AT THE HOSTELRY

 

The local hostelries are full

As they approach the brink

And raise their glasses high

For yet another festive drink

The season roundly toasted

Measured by each glasses chink

The next morning’s celebration

Will be a silent one I think

RUSH AND SCURRY

 

Hurry, hurry shopping in Surrey

Hurry, hurry, rush and scurry

Worry, worry, fresh snow flurry

Hurry Murray rush and scurry

Let’s get home and have a curry

I JUST OPENED MY PRESENT

 

My old aunt just popped round

With a Christmas gift for me

It wasn’t what I was expecting

It was a tweedy dye Mankini

 

“I hope it’s the one you wanted”

I didn’t know what to say really

I couldn’t understand it

I asked for a CD by Mancini

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A BOYFRIEND FOR CHRISTMAS

 

Holly Grant (Kelli Williams) is not looking forward to Christmas at her parents’ house as her brother has a wife and children and she hasn't had a boyfriend since Ted Powell (Bruce Thomas) broke her heart when he chose to break up with her when he was transferred to an out of town newspaper owned by his family's publishing empire.

Plus on Christmas Eve a woman Holly was helping failed to regain custody of her kids when pro bono lawyer Ryan Hughes (Patrick Muldoon) never showed up at the hearing.

 

Knowing that she was never likely to meet Hughes, Holly has to settle for dictating a nasty letter to him. Holly's friend Diane (Maeve Quinlan) tries to perk her up by promising to send her a really great Xmas present.

So when a handsome man with a Christmas tree knocks at her door, she believes that Douglas Firwood is her present and she can take him home to her parents for the day as a boyfriend she is serious about.

In actual fact Douglas is really Ryan Hughes who is acting on the instructions of Santa Claus (Charles Durning) who is trying to deliver on a Christmas Wish made 20 years earlier which is made difficult when Ted appears back on the scene.

SHOPS IN THE HIGH STREET

 

Shops in the high street

Are full to overflowing

With irate customers

Franticly to-ing and fro-ing

 
The shopkeeper delights

While prices are rocketing

Happy in the knowledge

Of the profits he’s pocketing

 

And in his smug contentment

He rubs his hands with glee

“Merry Christmas you mugs

And a prosperous new year, for me”

A SIMPLE GIFT

 

I’m hoping that this Christmas

I will get what I desire

I’m not that easy to please

I don’t ridiculously aspire

 

I don’t want the moon and stars

Or diamonds or pearls

Some perfume or cosmetics will do

I’m not one of those greedy girls

 

I just want something for me

Just a small thing, for me this year

But as always it will be something

For the house from IKEA

SCROOGE LIKE

 

They say the perfect Christmas

Is blessed with family and friends

I say the fewer the better

Otherwise the present buying never ends