Monday, 7 November 2016

Christmas Stocking Fillers # 5


Christmas at the office
Is just like any other day
Let’s face of it
You end up doing all the work
And the fat guy in the suit
Gets all the credit


In the largely Protestant areas of central and northern Germany, St. Nicholas later became better known as der Weinachtsmann.


The Germans love to decorate their homes at Christmas time and one of the favorite forms of German decoration is for the window.
The decoration consists of small wooden frames holding a picture made from colored glass or plastic with an electric candle light behind it, these lights look very beautiful when viewed from out side at night.


I sit in my car on a December day
In the evening rush hour on a Friday
Rain pounds on the roof of my car
As I sit in a jam not getting very far
Just sitting motionless in the traffic
Late home again, that just terrific
Bright red taillights fill my view
The light’s of other cars in the queue
I see Looking to my left and right
The twinkling of a Christmas light
The queue edges forward very slowly
Then I reach the junction eventually
Twenty minutes just to get this far
I see the blue light of a police car
I don’t believe it I could explode
The police have only shut my road
I still don’t know what’s to blame
As now I go back the way I came
All the way home I rant and rage
Growling like a wild beast in a cage
Rush hour and my spleen is vent
Shutting the road is so inconvenient
The reason for delay I still can’t see
But I do make it home eventually
I shout at the kids taking off my hat
I moan at my wife and kick the cat
I look at my dinner with total disdain
Dried up the gravy now just a stain
On Monday I relate my tale of woe
And my problems with traffic flow
A colleague of mine who lived locally
Knew the details and informed me
And then with shame I was filled
A woman was run down and killed
A week before Christmas she had died
A happy Christmas for her was denied
A poor young woman had lost her life
Somebody’s lover somebody’s wife
She was both a daughter and mother
Mourned by two sister’s and a brother
Bells ring out on Christmas morning
Bells ring out for a family mourning
Christmas bells ring out in glory
To celebrate the Christmas story
I spent Christmas with my family
With my heart so full of sympathy
I felt so ashamed at my selfishness
Angry impatient and thoughtless
I confess I behaved so irrationally
Just because I was late home for tea
When next I’m in a jam I’ll remember
Any time from January to December
I shall keep things in true perspective
And my thanks to God I shall give
No matter how slowly I have to drive
If I’m sitting in a jam I’m still alive


918 Conrad I, German King and Duke of Franconia
1375 Giovanni Boccaccio, Italian poet
1597 Petrus Canisius, Dutch Jesuit saint, aged 76
1674 Rutger van Haersolte, viceroy of Overijsselse, 66
1736 Alessandro Galilei, Italian architect, aged 45
1864 William Henry Fry, composer, 51
1890 Niels Wilhelm Gade, Danish composer, aged 73
1906 Adalbert von Goldschmidt, composer, 58
1928 Harry Butt, English cricketer, wicket-keeper
1940 F Scott Fitzgerald, author, died of a heart attack aged 44
1945 George S Patton, World War Two U.S. General killed in car crash aged 60
1955 Dorothy Bernard, actress, 65
1957 Eric Coates, composer, 71
1958 Harry Byron (HB) Warner, actor, aged 83
1963 Jack Hobbs, English cricketer
1967 Stuart Erwin, actor, dies of heart attack aged 64
1974 Richard Long, actor, 47
1980 Marc Connelly, playwright, aged 90
1983 Rod Cameron, actor 73
1992 Stella Adler, U.S. actress, 90


In Greece St. Nicholas or Nikolaos is the patron saint and his primary role is as the protector of sailors and men of the sea.
To honor the saints day, small fishing boats, are decorated with blue and white lights.
He is considered the master of wind and tempest and Greek ships of all sizes carry an Icon of him.
The sailors will light a candle before the icon and pray for safe passage and if a vessel is in danger the captain prays to the saint promising solemnly to make an offering of a small symbolic representation of there ship made of silver, gold, or wood, in the event of safely making port.
On there safe return to port, the captain and his crew take the representation of their ship to church in thanksgiving for their safe return.


Every Christmas day is the same
The Browns come round for lunch
I dread the time as it approaches
There a bloody awful bunch
He’s an opinionated git
She’s a loudmouthed fishwife
Their kids run amuck unchecked
Causing trouble and strife
They drink all my booze
And eat every crumb of food
They’re uncouth and vulgar
Obnoxious and just plain rude
They are a truly horrible family
I wish I could show them the door
They have no redeeming features
God I hate my brother in law


No Christmas would be complete without the Dickens classic tale of redemption and a list of Christmas films without Scrooge in it would be unthinkable.
There have been many film adaptations over the years since the first made in the silent era
1910 (Marc McDermott) Silent
1913 (Seymour Hicks) Silent
1935 (Seymour Hicks)
1938 (Reginald Owen)
1951 Scrooge (Alistair Sim)
1970 Scrooge (Albert Finney) Musical
1971 (Alistair Sim) Animated
1984 (George C. Scott)
1988 Scrooged (Bill Murray) Comedy
1997 (Tim Curry) Animated
1999 (Patrick Stewart)
2004 (Kelsey Grammer) Musical
2006 Disney Animated
2009 (Jim Carey) Animated
And even more TV adaptation, variations and spoofs and I would defy anyone to say that at least one of them didn’t strike a chord on some level.
Even though my own personal favourite is the 1984 version with George C. Scott
I find the most uplifting film to be the 1970 musical version with Albert Finney playing Scrooge and supported ably by among others Alec Guinness, Edith Evans and Kenneth More with Laurence Naismith playing an energetic Fezziwig while singing “December the 25th” and Anton Rodgers as Tom Jenkins who sings the one song everyone remembers the academy award nominated “Thank You Very Much”.
There are a host of other good songs “A Christmas Carol” “Christmas Children” “I Hate People” “Father Christmas”” See the Phantoms” “Happiness” “You...You” “I Like Life” “The Beautiful Day” and “I'll Begin Again” which all combined to make this a Christmas treat.


I went to the pub with my brother
For a Christmas, lunchtime drink
While my wife cooked the dinner
And washed up at the sink
We got thrown out at 4 o’clock
Full of Christmas cheer and gin
We got home ready for Christmas lunch
And found it in the bin


Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my fifth selection.

“Christmas Wrapping” Written By Chris Butler Performed By The Waitresses

"Bah, humbug!" No, that's too strong
'Cause it is my favorite holiday
But all this year's been a busy blur
Don't think I have the energy
To add to my already mad rush
Just 'cause it's 'tis the season.
The perfect gift for me would be
Completions and connections left from
Last year, ski shop,
Encounter, most interesting.
Had his number but never the time
Most of '81 passed along those lines.
So deck those halls, trim those trees
Raise up cups of Christmas cheer,
I just need to catch my breath,
Christmas by myself this year.
Calendar picture, frozen landscape,
Chilled this room for twenty-four days,
Evergreens, sparkling snow
Get this winter over with!
Flashback to springtime, saw him again,
Would've been good to go for lunch,
Couldn't agree when we were both free,
We tried, we said we'd keep in touch.
Didn't, of course, 'til summertime,
Out to the beach to his boat could I join him?
No, this time it was me,
Sunburn in the third degree.
Now the calendar's just one page
And, of course, I am excited
Tonight's the night, but I've set my mind
Not to do too much about it.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Hardly dashing through the snow
Cause I bundled up too tight
Last minute have-to-do's
A few cards a few calls
'Cause it's r-s-v-p
No thanks, no party lights
It's Christmas Eve, gonna relax
Turned down all of my invites.
Last fall I had a night to myself,
Same guy called, halloween party,
Waited all night for him to show,
This time his car wouldn't go,
Forget it, it's cold, it's getting late,
Trudge on home to celebrate
In a quiet way, unwind
Doing Christmas right this time.
A&P has provided me
With the world's smallest turkey
Already in the oven, nice and hot
Oh damn! Guess what I forgot?
So on with the boots, back out in the snow
To the only all-night grocery,
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
In the line is that guy I've been chasing all year!
"I'm spending this one alone," he said.
"Need a break; this year's been crazy."
I said, "Me too, but why are you?
You mean you forgot cranberries too?"
Then suddenly we laughed and laughed
Caught on to what was happening
That Christmas magic's brought this tale
To a very happy ending! "
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Couldn't miss this one this year!
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Couldn't miss this one this year!


“God with us,” or Emmanuel
“A savior”
In Hebrew called Joshua
In Greek the name was Jesus
“The chosen one”
In Hebrew called Messiah
In Greek named Christ
Jesus Christ
The Son of god
A Jew Born in the Roman Empire
Given by God to the world
For two thousand years
Not known by a Latin name
But known by all by his name in Greek


There is something puzzling me
As it doesn’t say in the book
Before his hand was taken
What did they call captain hook

It’s a difficult one to answer
Maybe he was evil captain fist
Or was he called captain two hands
Not really a very menacing list

And was it simply irony, mere chance
Or was his accident planned
For if not for the crocodile
He would have remained a deck hand


Gezur Krislinjden
Sretan Bozic
Sreken Bozhik
Hristos se rodi
Sretam Bozic. Vesela Nova Godina
Cestitamo Bozic
Kala Christouyenna
Noeliniz Ve Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun


In Austria St. Nicholas, is honored throughout the land and It is said that as a reward for his generosity God allowed him to return to earth each year to bring gifts to all the good children of the world.


Candle light of beauty
Adorning church and alter
None excluded from Christ’s love
Darkness brightly conquered
Light of Christ illuminating
Everlasting light of life


On Dec. 26, 1583, the Glasgow Kirk Session put 5 persons to public penance for keeping the 'superstitious day called YULE'."


THE CAROL OF THE BELLS (Zvoncekova Koleda)
Traditional Ukranian

Hark how the bells,
sweet silver bells,
all seem to say,
throw cares away

Christmas is here,
bringing good cheer,
to young and old,
meek and the bold,

Ding dong ding dong
That is their song
With joyful ring
All caroling

One seems to hear
Words of good cheer
From ev'ry where
Filling the air

Oh how they pound,
raising the sound,
o'er hill and dale,
telling their tale,

Gaily they ring
while people sing
songs of good cheer,
Christmas is here,

Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas,
Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas,
On on they send ,
on without end,
their joyful tone to every home
Dong Ding dong ding, dong Bong


10oz Kibbled wheat
5 Cups water
1/3 Cup beef stock
1/3 Cup milk
2 Egg’s
Pinch Dried saffron threads
I tsp Salt

Boil the kibbled wheat for about 15 minutes in the water until softened once the wheat is softened remove from the heat and stand until the water is absorbed.
When the water has been absorbed add the milk and the beef stock and return to the boil.
Reduce heat and Simmer stirring the mixture for about 5 minutes.
Separated the eggs and Stir in the yolks only then add the salt and saffron then continue stirring until the egg starts to thicken then Remove from the heat
Allow to stand for approximately 5 minutes before serving.

In Rome between the great Saturnalia festival and the solstice festival of Brumalia came the Festival of Infants known as Juvenalia, and the Sigallaria, or Doll Festival and the children were presented with gifts at both.


Mildred went to the post office
To buy stamps for her Christmas cards
“What denomination do you want?”
She was asked by Mr Everard
“That’s political correctness gone mad,
Has it come to this?” said she
“You’d better give me a book of Catholic
And a book of C of E”


Pope Leo III crowned Charles the Great of the Franks, Charlemagne, Roman emperor.


Santon’s are clay figurines that depict the characters of the nativity and were used in church crèches and later in family crèches.
The name Santon comes from the Provencal word "santoun" or little saint.
The first Santons were modeled in wax by religious orders.
Then later they were made of clay found in the region of Marseilles and Aubagne.
When the French settled on the American continent they took Santons with them and they are an integral part of Christmas in Canada and Louisiana.


On Christmas day 1908 the actress Helen Twelvetrees made her first appearance and in 1943 another actress Hanna Schygulla did the same.
In 1945 actor Gary Sandy made his Christmas debut and in 1949 Sissy Spacek arrived in time for Christmas lunch.


Located some 2600km north-west of Perth, Western Australia Christmas Island is a mere dot in the Indian Ocean.
Its closest neighbor is Java; 360km away However Christmas Island is an Australian Territory.
Christmas Island was for centuries protected by its isolation and rugged coasts.
The island was first included on British and Dutch navigational charts from the early seventeenth century but it was the Captain of the East India Ship Company vessel the Royal Mary, William Mynors, who named the island after he arrived on Christmas Day 1643.
It was phosphate mining which first brought prosperity to the island in 1891 which continued right up until the Japanese occupied the island during the Second World War.
Then After World War II Christmas Island came under the jurisdiction of the new Colony of Singapore until in 1957 when the Australian government acquired Christmas Island from the Singapore Government for a compensation of 2.9 million pounds.
The island was a Crown colony until its transfer to Australia was finalized on 1st October 1958.
In 1980, a National Park was declared in the Egeria Point area. The National Park now covers over 65% of the island.
Although phosphate mining continues in a small way and the authorities have flirted with gambling as an attraction the islands main source of prosperity now is tourism.
Christmas Island is a natural paradise with its national park containing species of flora & fauna found nowhere else in the world.
The vivid Red Crab for example inhabiting the forest floor and the Myriads of tropical fish swimming in the coastal waters or further out the spinner dolphins or the majestic whale shark.
Now in the 21st century The Island has been chosen as a suitable site for a space satellite launching station the decision will be made shortly.


The three wise men
Traveled for days before reaching Bethlehem
And arrived after the birth
They stood and viewed the scene in awe
And knelt reverently in the lords presence
Then gave their gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh

The three wise women
Would have stopped to ask directions
And arrived before the birth
They would have delivered the baby
Then they would have cleaned the stable and cooked a meal
Before giving the baby really useful gifts

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