Stocking Stuffers # 5

BE ON YOUR GUARD

Be on your guard
Wherever you go
Tread very carefully
You could even tip toe
But if you don’t take heed
And don’t watch where you go
You may get caught
Beneath the mistletoe

ON CHRISTMAS DAY 1977

The Prime Minister of Israel Menachem Begin met in Egypt with the President of Egypt Anwar Sadat

CHRISTMAS COMMON VILLAGE

Christmas Common is a village situated near Watlington in Oxfordshire.
The Christmas common woods are owned jointly by the National Trust and the Forestry Commission.
Combining Woodland and chalk grassland the area offers excellent views of the surrounding countryside such as Watlington Hill and the woods of Lower Dean and Shotridge also Fire Wood, Queen Wood, Watlington Park, College Wood, Pyrton Hill, Howe Wood and Greenfield Copse.

CHRISTMAS BABY

Oh how fondly we both remember
That most special time in December
The first Christmas for our little boy
Our new born precious bundle of joy
The most special gift sent from above
Sent down from heaven for us to love
Now our baby boy is all full grown
With a little bundle of joy of his own

QUEEN OF LIGHT

When St. Lucia had her feast day on the shortest day of the year she was known as the queen of light and people believed that she lead the way for the sun to lengthen the days.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – TRADING PLACES

Trading Places is a very amusing Christmas Comedy.
Duke and Duke, owned by the brothers Mortimer and Randolph Duke (Don Ameche and Ralph Bellamy) are commodity brokers, though a long standing family institution they are not averse to breaking the law.
There employee Louis Winthorpe (Dan Ackroyd) on the other hand is as straight as an arrow.
So when Winthorpe encounters Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy), a street hustler and assumes he is trying to rob him, he has him arrested.
The Dukes however have a bet between themselves on whether Winthorpe would resort to crime if separated from everything and everyone he knows.
And if they offered his job, his home, his life to Valentine, would the blueblood Winthorpe revert to crime and would the petty criminal rise to meet the challenge of his new position.
When the wheels are set in motion is when the fun begins.
Jamie Lee Curtis who plays prostitute Ophelia adds the romantic interest and a little extra.

INGERA AND DORO WAT

Injera is a traditional Ethiopian Christmas dish which is a type of bread in the form of a sourdough pancake.
The main meal is Doro Wat, which is a spicy chicken stew, served in beautifully decorated Baskets, with which the Injera serves as both plate and fork when it is used to scoop up the Wat.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Memories of Christmas past
Etched deep within
Remembered fondly
Remembered joyfully
Youthful memories
Christmas lights
Holly wreaths
Ringing bells
Icing the cake
Singing carols
Trimming the tree
Mistletoe for kissing mum
All done with love
Special Christmas’s with mum and dad

FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 21 - Dominick The Donkey

Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favourites
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my twenty first selection.

Dominick the Donkey
Written by Ray Allen, Sam Saltzberg and Wandra Merrell
Performed by Lou Monte

Santa's got a little friend his name is Dominick.
The cutest little donkey, you never see him kick.
When Santa visits his Paesans with Dominick he'll be.
Because the reindeer cannot climb the hills of Italy.

(Chorus)
Ay, Jing-a-di-jing hee haw hee haw
It's Dominick the Donkey.
jing-a-di-jing hee haw hee haw.
De Italian Christmas Donkey.
Lalalalalalalalala. lalalalalaladidooda.

Jingle Bells around his feet and presents on da sled.
Hey look at da mayor’s derby, on top of Dominick’s head.
A pair of shoes for Louis and a dress for Josephine.
Da label on de inside says dare made in Brook-a-lee.

(Chorus)

Children sing and clap dare hands and Dominick starts ta dance.
Dey talk Italian to him and he even understands

ON CHRISTMAS DAY 1991

Mikhail Gorbachev formally resigned as president of the Soviet Union and the Union was formally dissolved the next day.

CHRISTMAS IS A FUNNY TIME OF YEAR

Christmas is a funny time of year
At no other time of year are the shops full to overflowing
With people who clearly don’t want to be there
Spending money they don’t have
On things the recipients of them won’t like
You send cards to people you haven’t seen for years
And you get cards from people you’ve never heard of
You spend the day itself
Amidst the people you’ve managed to avoid all year
You have to kiss relatives you never knew you had
Who keep farting and blaming it on the dog
You dine on roast Turkey
Which no one lists as their favourite meat
And you have to sit at the table wearing silly paper hats
When for the rest of the year you mustn’t wear a hat at the table
You eat Christmas pudding and mince pies
That give everyone heartburn
Then you all sit around a dead tree
Pretending to like the presents you open
You eat sweets and nuts that you took out of a sock
While you watch the Queens speech
Then you play parlour games suggested by someone
Who claims in their day “they had to make their own entertainment”
Who then falls asleep in his chair
But despite all of this I still love it

SPORTSMAN BORN ON CHRISTMAS DAY

Kenny Stabler, American football born 1945
Larry Csonka, American football born 1946
Rickey Henderson, baseball born 1958

DECEMBER

December’s wind is bitter
December's moon is cold
December's gem is turquoise
December’s year is old

December’s sun is cool
December’s water is ice
December’s number is twelve
December smells of spice

December’s season is winter
December’s green is holly
December’s season is festive
December people are jolly

December’s shops are full
December’s shows are on
December’s drink is eggnog
December smells of cinnamon

December’s days are short
December’s nights are long
December’s tone is joy
December sings a Christmas song

REUSE OR NOT REUSE

The world is split into two distinct groups those who reuse the wrapping paper and those who don’t.
My mum was a recycler so was my grandma as for myself I am a shredder, which means I rip the paper to shreds.
It’s a technique I learned when I was six years old and I still do it now I’m forty eight.

THREE WISE ONES Reprised

The three wise men
Traveled for days before reaching Bethlehem
And arrived after the birth
They stood and viewed the scene in awe
And knelt reverently in the lords presence
Then gave their gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh

The three wise women
Would have stopped to ask directions
And arrived before the birth
They would have delivered the baby
Then they would have cleaned the stable and cooked a meal
Before giving the baby really useful gifts

The three wise women
Leaving Bethlehem would be heard to say
“A virgin not likely, I know the family”
“That baby looks more like the shepherd than Joseph”
“Only a drama queen would choose to give birth in a stable”
“That Joseph is on the social you know”
“Well a lift home would have been nice”
“That angel was really snooty”

FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 10

O LITTLE TOWN OF BETHLEHEM
Words by Philips Brooks and Music by Ralph Vaughan Williams

O little town of Bethlehem,
How still we see thee lie!
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
The silent stars go by.
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
The everlasting Light;
The hopes and fears of all the years
Are met in thee to-night.

O morning stars, together
Proclaim the holy birth!
And praises sing to God the King,
And peace to men on earth.
For Christ is born of Mary
And gathered all above,
While mortals sleep the angels keep
Their watch of wondering love.

How silently, how silently,
The wondrous gift is given!
So God imparts to human hearts
The blessings of His Heaven.
No ear may hear His coming;
But in this world of sin,
Where meek souls will receive Him, still
The dear Christ enters in.

Where children pure and happy
Pray to the blessed Child,
Where Misery cries out to Thee,
Son of the Mother mild;
Where Charity stands watching,
And Faith holds wide the door,
The dark night wakes, the glory breaks,
And Christmas comes once more.

O holy Child of Bethlehem!
Descend to us we pray!
Cast out our sin and enter in,
Be born in us to-day.
We hear the Christmas angels
The great glad tidings tell;
O, come to us, abide with us,
Our Lord Emmanuel!

ON CHRISTMAS DAY 2004

The Cassini orbiter launched the Huygens probe towards titan, Saturn's moon.

SEASONAL GREETINGS FROM INDIA

India (Bengali)
Shuvo Naba Barsha
India (Hindi)
Shub Naya Baras
India (Marathi)
Shub Naya Varsh
India (Urdu)
Naya Saal Mubarak Ho

NORWEGIAN GIFT

A gift arrives each year
From across the sea
A gift from the people of Oslo
An annual gift of a Christmas tree

Given with gratitude
To stand in Trafalgar square
Received with pride
By those of us who care

A symbol of friendship
Given to us each Christmas
A token as a gift of thanks
Sent from Norway for us

BUMPER CHRISTMAS

All the sights and sounds
And all the tastes and smells
Make me love Christmas

All the carollers singing
And all the lights twinkling
Make me love Christmas

But there is one thing
More than any other
That makes me love Christmas

The bumper Radio Times
First going on sale
That makes me love Christmas