Thursday 11 March 2021

CHRISTMAS LINDA – PART 2 – ONE SPECIAL NIGHT

 

I found myself stranded in a strange town

With less than a week to go before Christmas

Stranded two hundred miles from home

With a seriously ill car in the garage

And a lack of will to contemplate train travel

In truth I was in no hurry to return home

To the empty soulless house that once was home

But now held no comfort for me

My wife of twenty-five years had died a year before

Finally losing her battle with cancer

And my children were all grown up now

With homes and families of their own

The house would be full at Christmas

Full of noise and hustle and bustle,

And the usual mix of love, laughter, and tears

But for now, it was cold and empty

So, I booked into a hotel for the weekend

And I would drive home on Monday

So finding myself in a strange town

Just a few days before Christmas

And with more than a little time to kill

I decided I could fill part of my day

By doing some last-minute Christmas shopping

As I stepped out of the Hotel, I shivered

The day was cold, grey, and damp

And clouds scudded across the December sky

It was the kind of day that chilled you to the bone

I made my way towards the high street

It was only a five-minute walk

The receptionist assured me with a smile

As she jotted down some brief directions

In an effort to warm myself up

I walked briskly following her directions

Down the narrow almost Dickensian lanes and ally ways

Passing picturesque Victorian and Tudor buildings, well mock Tudor

As I went and it was indeed five minutes when I emerged

Onto the busy cobbled pedestrianized high street

It was a curious mixture of ancient and modern

At one end of the street a Norman church was visible

And at the other was what appeared to be a municipal building

With rather pretentious Georgian columns

There was still evidence of a row of Edwardian shop fronts

But much of the street was modern

With a little too much sixties influence to be easy on the eye

The street was crisscrossed along the full length

With festive lights and decorations

Which did their best to brighten the scene

I decided to familiarize myself with what the town had to offer

In the way of shops so I turned left and joined the throng of shoppers

Faces gloomy to match the weather

And headed towards the Georgian pillared building

This turned out to be the public library

As I dodged between the Christmas Lemmings

I made a mental note of shops I would return to

My progress was hampered by erratic shoppers

Who moved it appeared independently to any logic

Some seemed to zigzag everywhere and very few possessed

The ability to walk in a straight line for more than a few paces

And others would take a few steps then stop for no apparent reason

Then after a few moments pause carry on normally in the same direction

The sound of cheery Christmas songs and carols

Could be heard from every shop I passed

Though the cheeriness of the music

Was clearly not reflected on the faces

Of the shoppers going in and out of them

As I passed one shop Noddy Holder screamed “it’s Christmas”

Just in case any of the reluctant shoppers were in any doubt

When I reached the other end of the high street

Where the church stood there was a little square

Which I wasn’t able to see before

In the center of which was the war memorial

And to its left was a magnificent Christmas tree

Covered in baubles and adorned by a beautiful angel

Assembled around the tree was the Salvation Army band

I took a few moments to admire the tree and listen to the band

And I was taken back to a distant time and place

The clock chimed and I was brought back to the present

I took a few more moments while I decided on my first port of call

Not realizing just how important a decision it was

I decided on Woolworths, always a favorite of mine at Christmas

But it also happened to be the closest

So I walked towards the store and pushed open the door

As I entered, I paused to hold the door open for a woman coming the other way

I waited as she put her purse away into a huge handbag

And I wondered what I would get for my trouble

I had found the older I got the less women appreciated courtesy

The simple act of holding open a door could provoke a range of responses

A smile, a thank you, a nod, a sneer, a tut or a colorful mouth full of abuse

And you couldn’t always tell who was going to do what

When she had finished fiddling and securing her bag

She moved to step through the open door

As she passed me, she looked up said “Thank you” and smiled broadly

And then she stopped as I returned her smile and then I just stood there

Both of us stood motionless as slowly the recognition set in

We both stood there dumbstruck not believing our eyes

I’m not sure how long for but long enough for a queue to form behind each of us

We both blushed and excused ourselves

And stepped out onto the street away from the door

Neither of us knew what to say I couldn’t believe it was Linda

Who I last saw 30 years before being driven off in a taxi

Disappearing off through the snow

With her palm pressed against the glass her neck craned to keep sight of me

And here she stood before me as beautiful as ever she was

The soft curls of her brown hair still danced on her shoulders

Yet with fine strands of silver threaded thru it

Her smile was still able to melt my heart even after all those years

Her smiling eyes still had the same sparkle

The years had been kind to her and too me much less so

I was still fumbling for the words to say as I studied her

When she reached up and hugged my neck

Kissing my cheek at the same time

And spoke softly in my ear “Paul, Is it really you?”

I simply said yes, and we stood in that long comfortable embrace

I don’t know how long we stood there not wanting to let go

Then as she relaxed her grip, and I kissed her forehead

“It’s so good to see you” I said feebly

She put her head on my chest, squeezed me, and sighed

Then released her grip and pulled away slightly

And put her hand up to my cheek and caressed my grey beard

“Do you have time for coffee”? She said almost pleadingly

I said of course and she put her arm through mine and led me across the high street

Asking quick fire questions as we went

And I explained about my car breaking down

And that I was staying at the Cromwell hotel

She said, “oh really” and “oh dear” delighting in my misfortune

We sat on a large comfortable sofa in Starbucks

And told the tales of our lives spent apart

Throughout I looked at her with adoring eyes

Pinching myself expecting to awake from a dream

As I had done so very many times before

I told her about my wife and children

She told me of her marriage and subsequent divorce

The good man I gave her up for turned out to be a violent drunk

She had no children which although unsaid was clearly a regret

With the aid of several cups of coffee we managed to talk away the entire morning

I suggested we might spend the day together

And have dinner together at the hotel

She accepted the invitation to dinner with a delightful smile

Then she looked at her watch and suddenly jumped up

“Look at the time, I have to go” she flustered

She said she had a prior commitment

“Lunch with mum” she said rather unconvincingly

She said it was something she couldn’t get out of

As I helped her back into her coat the smell of her hair

Evoked memories of our past embraces

She fished out her mobile phone as we left the coffee shop

From her huge handbag and we exchanged phone numbers

And we firmed up the details for the evening

Then with a hug and a kiss she was off

I stood and watched her walk away her coat tails swishing behind her

She stopped briefly and turned to give me a smile and a wave

Then with the phone to her ear she hurried off again talking animatedly

I stood watching until she disappeared from sight

Then I went back to my Christmas shopping

And treated myself to a new shirt for the evening

I bought the gifts I was looking for and paper, tags, cards etc

And with all my shopping complete I returned to the hotel for lunch

The rest of the day seemed intolerably long

In an effort to kill some time I went for a swim

Used the gym, went for a walk

I got a haircut even though I didn’t need one

I even wrapped the Christmas presents I had bought

But the time passed so interminably slowly

I walked into the hotel bar at 7 o’clock an hour early

Partly for some Dutch courage and in part because I had run out of things to do

I ordered a drink and then sat at the bar

Even though I wasn’t expecting her until eight

Every time the door opened, I turned to look for her

And when it wasn’t her self doubt crept in

And with every false alarm the doubts got worse

What if she doesn’t come?

What if she changed her mind?

What if she never intended to come?

What if? What if? What if?

Then at a quarter to the hour the door opened and there she was

There she stood wearing a simple black knee length dress

Black tights or stockings and four-inch stiletto shoes

Her legs as shapely as I remembered them

And in one hand she held a black leather clutch bag

Her face looked a little anxious until I stood up

And then it lit up in the most radiant smile

Then she walked towards me

Almost tottering on her heels and she laughed

I took her hand as she climbed onto a stool

And kissed her cheek the fragrance of her perfume was intoxicating

Going straight to my head like a strong spirit

The combination of her scent and my desire for her almost made me swoon

I ordered her a drink and we nervously made small talk

Like two strangers on a blind date

Until the waitress led us through to the restaurant

Once we were seated at our table

I asked her how her lunch with mum went

And she blushed the deepest red

She told me the lunch date was a little white lie

Because she needed the afternoon to get ready

And the animated phone call was to her sister

To rally the troops to get her presentable

We both laughed and any awkwardness was gone

We talked with such an easy familiarity

As if her departing taxi had only been a week ago

By the time we had finished our coffee the restaurant was empty

Except for us and a weary waitress waiting to clear our table

The evening seemed to have passed in the blink of an eye

And had all too soon come to an end

We got up and made our apologies

Linda went through the door to the ladies, and I settled the bill

I said good night and had made my apologies again

Then went in search of Linda through the same door she had used

I found her standing by the Christmas tree

She had retrieved her coat and scarf from the cloakroom

Which were draped over one arm her bag was in her hand

Linda stood with her back to me gazing out of the window

She could see my reflection in the glass and smiled

I gasped at the beauty of her and pinched myself again

I wanted to kiss her so much, but I was afraid 

Afraid to break the magic of that special kiss

That perfect moment when we kissed in the snow

All those years ago when I let her slip from my grasp

For 30 years I had revered that moment

Relived it whenever I felt a snowflake on my skin

Or stood in a taxi queue on a winter’s night

Or when I hear the Salvation Army play

Or when the snow falls during Christmas time

For 30 years I had wanted to be back there holding her in the snow

And here I stood a few steps away and I was hesitant

As if sensing my turmoil, she turned away from the window

And I took those few steps to face her

We stood for a few moments just looking at each other

Then she smiled her most heart melting smile  

As she caressed my cheek then she pulled me to her

And kissed me gently on the lips, a tender and sensitive kiss

When our lips met electricity ran down my spine

And it was as if we were young again

Our lips parted for a second then met again

And her kiss became more intense, more passionate

Her coat, scarf and bag fell to the floor as our arms enveloped each other

We stood locked in our passionate embrace as the tree lights twinkled

Then she pulled away for a moment before burying her face in my neck

And spoke softly in my ear “you see that was as good as the first time”

How could I have doubted it would not be perfect?

I slid my fingers beneath her hair caressing her nape

And gently turned her head so I could kiss her sweet lips again

This time when we disengaged, she put her head on my chest

Still holding on to me so tightly

I kissed the top of her head and smelled her hair

I didn’t want to let her go, and then I said “please stay”

“I can’t watch you disappear from my life in another taxi”

She lifted her head and looked at me and said

“I’m not letting you go again, not now, not ever”

Then she smiled at me coyly and blushed like a virgin

And buried her face in my chest again

Then she scooped up her coat, scarf, and bag from the floor

Took my hand and we walked in silence to my room

Outside the room she looked into my eyes and kissed my mouth

Then I opened the door and let her walk inside

She dropped her coat and bag onto a chair and turned to face me

Reached up and wrapped her arms around my neck

And whispered in my ear “I never stopped loving you”

My arms enfolded her and pulled her to me tightly

Then we kissed at first soft and tender then more urgently

And I began to un-wrap my most special Christmas gift

Wrapped in lace and silk instead of paper and ribbon

Caressing her body from neck to Lacy stocking top

And our love was at last made absolute

When our act of love was complete, and our dreams realized

We lay holding each other in the afterglow

Silently content until we drifted off to sleep

I awoke to find her stood silhouetted against the window

Gazing out wearing my shirt to cover her nakedness

She turned her head to me and said “it’s snowing”

I slipped out of bed joined her at the window

Standing behind her and enveloping her in my arms

We watched as the snow settled on the courtyard

She hugged my arms and said, “How perfect is that”?

Both of us thinking back to the last time we enjoyed the snowfall together

We stood for a few minutes taking in the snowy scene

Then she inclined her head so I could kiss her

When my hands moved from her soft belly and cupped her breasts

She led me back to the bed and we made love again

I woke early and lay in the half light and held Linda’s sleeping form in my arms

As I lay there, I thought how good the fates had been to us

If my car hadn’t broken down, and had I not rejected the idea of taking the train

I would not have been shopping on that cold grey morning

I thought about the moments I spent admiring that tree in the square

And listening to the Salvation Army band

And what thought processes made me do what I did

Was it destiny that I chose Woolworths at that very moment or just blind luck?

All I knew was that 24 hours before my life had been so empty

And now it was full, and I was finally with my soul mate

Linda was in my life at last and I wanted her never to leave it again

But if fate decreed that this one special night

Was all we could have I would have to be content

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