Thursday, 2 February 2023

PETER PAN IS A BIT OF A GAY ICON

 

Peter Pan is a bit of a gay icon

As he disrupts the pirates shanties

But that’s not even his real name

He was baptized as Peter Panties

IF JM BARRIE HAD WRITTEN SMUT

 

If JM Barrie had written smut

About all the titillation and joys

His classic tale would have been

Peter Porn and The Lust Boys

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 6

 

She was drinking in the forest

But she didn't want Tango to sup,

That wasn’t for Snow White,

She much preferred her 7up

THAT'S POLITICAL CORRECTNESS THAT IS # 1

That's political correctness that is

In one of its insidious ways

That’s stops us saying merry Christmas

And makes us say happy holidays

Wednesday, 1 February 2023

FOR MY POOR DELUDED FATHER

 

For my poor deluded father

The men in white coats beaconed

He thought he was a chocolate orange

So now he’s been sectioned

I GOT AN INAPPROPRIATE PRESENT

 

I got an inappropriate present

From my grandparents you know

Ordinarily a Slinky is a great gift

But not if you live in a bungalow

WHEN YOU OPEN THE WINDOWS

 

When you open the windows

Throughout the festive season

On Microsoft’s advent calendar

They suddenly close for no reason