ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

 

Well, I got a sweater for Christmas

I guess I’m just a sort of dreamer

But I got a sweater for Christmas

I wanted a moaner or a screamer

THE HONEST SANTA FAIRY

 A sorry old drunk is walking

Down the street one morning

Together with Santa Claus

The tooth fairy and of course

Honest John the Solicitor

When suddenly on their tour

At the very same moment

They spot on the pavement

Someone’s discarded wallet 

So, who was it who got it?

The old drunk obviously

Because all of the other three

Only exist in mythology

THE HANGING OF GREENS - MISTLETOE

 The hanging of greens, such as Holly, Ivy and Mistletoe is a British winter tradition with origins far before the Christian era.

Greenery was used to lift people’s spirits during the long winter and remind them that spring was not far away.

For hundreds of years before the birth of Christ the ancient Druids used mistletoe to celebrate the winter solstice.

The Druids gathered the parasitic evergreen plant and used it to decorate their homes.

They had an affinity with nature and believed the plant to have special healing powers for a variety of ills from female infertility to poison ingestion.

The Scandinavians thought of mistletoe as a plant of peace and harmony and associated it with their goddess of love, Frigga which is why the Norse folk believe the custom of kissing under the mistletoe is believed to have derived from this belief.

The druids regarded the mistletoe as sacred and they made certain that it never touched the ground and it was dedicated to the Goddess of Love which is the Druid explanation of kissing under it.

Originally, when a boy kissed a girl, he plucked a berry from the cluster and presented it to her. When there were no more berries, there were no more kisses.

The custom of kissing under the mistletoe originally was a belief that the evergreen plant increases your sexual power or promotes fertility.

In a small number of places in the world its potency was so highly regarded that it could improve the productivity of the soil, it could make cattle more fertile and curer impotence in men and any girl who had not been kissed under the mistletoe would be barren.

The Druids believed mistletoe's magic extended far beyond fertility and they thought it could cure almost any disease and was therefore known as 'all healer'.

A Sprigs fixed above your doorway would protect from lightning and ward of evil from your home.

As the plant was a parasite and grey on other trees it had no roots and so it was believed that it grew from heaven.

Even the gathering of the mistletoe is steeped in ritual.

A Druid priest using a sacred sickle had to cut the mistletoe from an oak tree

On the sixth day of the new moon when he had done so a virgin girl had to catch the falling plant before it touched the ground.

If it touched the ground it was spoiled.

The early Christian church banned the use of mistletoe in Christmas celebrations because of its pagan origins and they favored the use of Holly as an appropriate substitute for the Christmas greenery conveniently forgetting pagan origins of Holly.

Nowadays mistletoe is used merely as an excuse for taking liberties at the office Christmas party.

 

 

THE SPIRIT OF SCROOGE

 

Every year as a token of their gratitude the people of Norway present Britain with a 70 foot Christmas tree which stands in Trafalgar square.
However the tree has not always been received in the same spirit as it was given at times the discord has soured the season of goodwill.
In 1960 Westminster City Council wanted to charge the Norwegians for the electricity used to light the tree but thankfully Parliament intervened.
While In 1980 the very same council tried to stop the tradition altogether by refusing to accept the tree in an attempt to save the £5,000 cost.
Good sense again prevailed and now the costs are met by the Greater London Authority.
Other bureaucrats have tried to interfere and spoil Christmas this time from Brussels and they complained about the breaking of import restrictions.
The tree has also over the years suffered physical damage, on a number of occasions from high winds and on one occasion it was attacked with a chain saw by anti-war protestors.
In 1987 protesters actually chained themselves to the tree although I don't know what their cause was.

 

THE ROOM WAS FULL OF CHRISTMAS

The room was full of Christmas, 

Steeped in the essence of the season,

Fragranced with Apple and Cinnamon,

And decorated in festive livery

Fresh cut garlands of evergreens,

Tinsel, candles and coloured lights

And on the peaceful Holy night

With the velvet drapes pulled shut

Against the bitter cold of winter

A perfect couple held each other

In the soft warm glow of firelight

And the cozy room was full of love

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS (2018)

 

“The War On Christmas” is a very funny Christmas Comedy about the Winters family who are totally crazy for Christmas, except that is for the 16-year-old daughter, Nikki (Juliette Angelo) because, her family's over-the-top Christmas celebrations have made her life a total misery.

At Performing Arts summer camp, she meets Tanner (Javier Bolanos) who is her perfect antidote to the Christmas craziness that is year-round at home, unfortunately at the end of camp they went their separate ways to opposite sides of the country.

It wasn’t the end for them though as they were in constant contact and facetimed regularly but when her long-distance boyfriend decides to visit for the holidays, she's determined to spare him her family's Christmas obsession.

So, the only solution is to create a fake family, so she hires actors to play her parents and stages a fake Christmas dinner in the empty house next door with hilarious results.

 

FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 41 SANS DAY CAROL

 

Sans Day Carol

English (Cornish) traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown

 

Now the holly bears a berry as white as the milk,
And Mary bore Jesus, all wrapped up in silk:

And Mary bore Jesus our Saviour for to be,
And the first tree in the greenwood, it was the holly.
Holly! Holly!
And the first tree in the greenwood, it was the holly!

Now the holly bears a berry as green as the grass,
And Mary bore Jesus, who died on the cross:

Now the holly bears a berry as black as the coal,
And Mary bore Jesus, who died for us all:

Now the holly bears a berry, as blood is it red,
Then trust we our Saviour, who rose from the dead:

THE SAINT AND THE BUTCHER

 

The saint and the butcher is a popular St Nicholas tale in northern France which is told every year before St Nicholas day.

The Tale tells of three children who wandered away from their village and got lost. They continued on their way until Cold and hungry they came to an unfamiliar village.

They were discovered by a wicked butcher who lured them into his shop with the promise of food and warmth.

Once inside his shop he attacked the three children and he salted them away in a large tub.

They children would have been lost forever but for the intervention of St Nicholas who rescued the children and returned them safely to their families.

From that day forward St. Nicolas has been regarded in France as the protector of children.

The evil butcher became Père Fouettard who forever follows St Nicholas with switches in hand to threaten children and it’s the evil butcher who leaves any naughty children with a bundle of birch twigs. 

On the eve of St Nicholas day, the children put their shoes near the chimney and sing a song to the Saint before going to bed.

The next morning the shoes overflow with special Saint Nicolas sweets, chocolates and cookies.

Even the best of children will find by their shoes some birch twigs tied with a ribbon as every child does something naughty in the year.

CHRISTMAS FOLKLORE - BABOUSCHKA

 

Babouschka was an Old Russian woman who deliberately misled the three wise men as to the whereabouts of Bethlehem so they would not find Jesus.

Later Babouschka was overcome by remorse and set off after them to put things right but she could not find them.

As a result, to this day, on January 5, it is believed Babouschka visits Russian children leaving gifts at their bedsides in the hope that one of them is the baby Jesus and she will be forgiven.

A WINTER’S TALE

 

It was in sixteenth century Germany, or so the legend has it, in a town called Wittenberg in Saxony-Anhalt.

That the founder of the protestant church, Martin Luther, was the first to decorate a Christmas tree with lighted candles.

Apparently when he was walking home through the forest one dark and frosty winter’s night, his attention was drawn to the myriad of bright stars that he could see sparkling and twinkling through the branches of the fir trees.

The beauty of the nights display had a great effect on him, and he proceeded home very excited.

When he arrived home, he relayed to his family what he had seen and what had excited him so and almost immediately he set about decorating his Christmas tree with candles and then to his families surprise he lit them.

Goodness only knows what his family thought, that he was possessed possibly.

And what of the other people in the town what did they think of him and his antics.

It probably caused more consternation than the reformation.

CHRISTMAS MOURNING

 

The Ronettes where playing on the radio, it was Christmas morning.

The children were rushing about like they’d had a caffeine injection; excitedly showing off their new toys while my wife was wrestling a turkey into the oven.

As I sat in my armchair sipping my coffee my mind drifted back to the previous week.

 

The wipers swished rhythmically as they cleared the lightly beating sleet that was spattering the windscreen and the heater struggled to demist the inside.

All this was of no consequence as the car wasn’t actually moving.

It was the last Friday before Christmas and I was sat in a jam in the evening rush hour.

Half an hour I‘d been stuck in it and I was still only half a mile from where I worked.

I had time to take in the colourful and sometimes overly extravagant festive decoration on the houses which contrasted sharply with the meagre and tired looking display put on by the local council.

After another half an hour I reached the main road.

Nothing to see here through the wet steamy windows except the red taillights of other frustrated drivers.

Twenty minutes after that accompanied by some over cheerful DJ on the radio, I could see the roundabout.

The sleety rain was falling harder now, and it was difficult to see through the murkiness.

After crawling to the roundabout, I could just make out a flashing blue light which I suspected had nothing to do with Christmas.

As I got closer, I could see it was attached to a police car which was blocking my exit.

Without any explanation the police had closed the road.

So, I was faced with a choice, go back the way I came or take the exit off the roundabout which would take me in the opposite direction from where I lived.

I did the latter.

By the time I eventually arrived home I was in a black mood.

I shouted at the kids, moaned at my wife and tried to kick the cat.

My mood was not improved when my half-cremated dinner was removed from the oven and what had once been gravy was now only a stain on the plate.

The weekend was spent doing all the pre-Christmas stuff with the family and all too soon it was over.

When I returned to work on Monday, I related my tale of woe to my workmate’s and we all had a big laugh about it.

Except for Harry, who lived locally, he just looked down at the ground grave faced.

Later, when we were alone, he told me the road was closed because a young woman had been knocked down and killed.

I was dumbstruck, I had no words just a feeling of shame at my selfishness.

A week before Christmas, she had died.

While I was cursing at being inconvenienced, ranting at being stuck in a jam.

A poor young woman lay dead in the rain-soaked street.

Somebody’s wife and lover, also a daughter and mother and she was mourned by two children, a sister, and a brother.

 

The sound of church Bells ringing out brought me back to Christmas morning and my family.

But I still couldn’t help thinking of other families for whom Christmas morning would be less joyous.

With the bells still ringing out I gave thanks for being alive.

Also, I vowed to be more patient, more tolerant and more understanding in the future.

But I probably won’t keep it.

THREE SAINTS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE – BELGIUM.

Belgium is one of the few countries who celebrate more than one Christmas tradition within its borders.

In Dutch-speaking Flanders, great musical and colourful parades greet St. Nicholas as he and his assistants arrive in November by boat, train, or on horseback to get ready for his feast day on the 6th of December.

On December 5th, St. Nicholas' Eve, children put their shoes or small baskets at the fireside or by the door with carrots and sugar lumps for the saint's horse.

They believe St. Nicholas and Zwarte Piet ride on horseback over the rooftops, dropping gifts down the chimneys.

In French-speaking Wallonia St Nicolas comes, as well, where he is often riding a donkey accompanied by Père Fouettard, as in France. 

In the towns and villages close to the German border the more Germanic tradition is followed in which he travels with a white horse or donkey and is accompanied by Ruprecht.

But all three have in common that by the morning shoes have been filled with chocolates, cookies, fruit and toys.

FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 42 THE SEVEN JOYS OF MARY

 

The Seven Joys of Mary

English traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown

 

The very first joy that Mary had,
It was the joy of one
To see her blessed Jesus
When He was first her Son
When He was first her Son.

Chorus
When He was Her first Son, Good Lord;
And happy may we be,
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
To all eternity

The next good joy that Mary had,
It was the joy of two
To see her own son Jesus,
To make the lame to go.
To make the lame to go. Chorus

The next good joy that Mary had,
It was the joy of three
To see her own son Jesus,
To make the blind to see.
To make the blind to see. Chorus

The next good joy that Mary had,
It was the joy of four
To see her own son Jesus,
To read the Bible o'er.
To read the Bible o'er. Chorus

The next good joy that Mary had,
It was the joy of five
To see her own son Jesus,
To bring the dead alive.
To bring the dead alive. Chorus

The next good joy that Mary had,
It was the joy of six
To see her own son Jesus,
Upon the Crucifix
Upon the Crucifix. Chorus

The next good joy that Mary had,
It was the joy of seven
To see her own son Jesus,
To wear the crown of Heaven
To wear the crown of Heaven Chorus

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – MISTLETOE & MENORAHS (2019)

 

Christy Dickinson (Kelley Jakle) is a toy company executive who, as a result of her claim to know everything there is to know about the holidays, is invited to a holiday party by a prospective client David Berger (Michael Gordin Shore) where she is expected to show what she knows.

However, it isn’t until after the meeting that she finds out that David is Jewish, and she must learn as much about Hanukkah as she can in order to land the account.

So she enlists the help of her co-worker and friend Samantha Ames (Cory Lee), who introduces her to a teacher from her children’s school, Jonathan Silver (Jake Epstein) who is Jewish and in need of help himself as he has to turn his home into a Christmas Wonderland to impress his girlfriend's father.

After a rocky start they are soon learning about each other’s traditions but along the way they learn things about their own lives, and they grow ever closer, though neither expects anything to come of it.

That is until Christy dumps her selfish unsupportive boyfriend Peter (Jon McLaren) after she found out he lied to her about the reason he couldn’t go to the party with her.

FATHER AND CHRISTMAS

 

What do a Christmas tree

                                  And a celibate, have in comparison?

The answer is simple to see

                                  Their balls are just for decoration

THE THREE WISE MEN WERE LATE TO THE NATIVITY

The three wise men were late to the nativity

However not because they had travelled very far

But because one of them was an astronomer

And endlessly wittered on about the bloody star

 

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THAT CHRISTMAS MOVIE (2018)

 

“That Christmas Movie” is a very funny Christmas Comedy about the Winters family who are totally crazy for Christmas, except that is for the 16-year-old daughter, Nikki (Juliette Angelo) because, her family's over-the-top Christmas celebrations have made her life a total misery.

At Performing Arts summer camp, she meets Tanner (Javier Bolanos) who is her perfect antidote to the Christmas craziness that is year-round at home, unfortunately at the end of camp they went their separate ways to opposite sides of the country.

It wasn’t the end for them though as they were in constant contact and facetimed regularly but when her long-distance boyfriend decides to visit for the holidays, she's determined to spare him her family's Christmas obsession.

So, the only solution is to create a fake family, so she hires actors to play her parents and stages a fake Christmas dinner in the empty house next door with hilarious results.

THE LEGEND OF ST NICHOLAS THE RED SUITED SANTA Part three – The Literal St Nicholas

 

After the demise of the puritans in Europe and America the St Nicholas legend went from strength to strength.

He has over recent centuries become known by different names for example in Holland he is known as Sinter Klaas and when the Dutch arrived in New York or New Amsterdam as it was then the red suited Sinter Klaas arrived with them but the name has since become Americanized into Santa Claus.

 

The first time the Name Santa Claus appeared in print was in 1773 but the first description of the most traditional image of Santa Claus was by popular author Washington Irving In his History of New York, published in 1809.

 

But he was finally immortalized along with his eight reindeer in 1823 in the poem “A Visit from Saint Nicholas” more commonly known to all of us as “The Night Before Christmas” written by Clement Clarke Moore an Episcopal minister.

Moore, who wrote the poem for his three daughters, depicted Santa Claus as a "right jolly old elf" with a supernatural ability to ascend up a chimney with a simple nod of his head.

 

The familiar round jolly white bearded image of Santa Claus was definitively illustrated by the political cartoonist Thomas Nast for Christmas issues of Harper's Weekly magazine in 1881.

It was Nast who revealed the details of Santa's workshop at the North Pole and alerted the world to the existence of what have become known as the naughty and nice lists.

 

Haddon Sundblom further reinforced Santa’s image when, in 1931, he drew a representation of the jolly red faced Saint for the Coca-Cola Company as part of their advertising campaign which was so successful that he has been used every year since.

 

Through literary references and descriptions of Christmas the legend of St Nicholas spread and became ingrained in all of us and Along the way the legend of the gift giver became intertwined with other country’s myths and folk lore figures and St Nicholas became known by a wide variety of names.

As well as Santa Claus or Sinter Klaas he is named Father Christmas, Kris Kringle, Père Noël, der Weinachtsmann and Papa Noel to name but a few.

 

So I can say to you all with hand on heart to young and old wherever you might live there is most definitely a Santa Claus.

 

THE LEGEND OF ST NICHOLAS THE RED SUITED SANTA Part two – Growth and Prohibition

In the eyes of the Catholic church, a saint is a person who’s lived such a holy life that even after death and their ascent to heaven they are still able to help the earth-bound souls.

It was believed that the white bearded St Nicholas clad in his red bishop’s robes continued to help the less fortunate through his gift giving.

So, in the years following his death the St Nicholas legend grew.

 

As Christianity flourished within the Holy Roman Empire so did St Nicholas and by the year 450 many churches in the Eastern provinces of the empire in Asia Minor and Greece were being named to honour him and by the year 800, he was the most popular saint in the Eastern Catholic Church.

 

Such was his growing popularity as a Saint and his high regard amongst Christians that his mortal remains, which had been held in his church in Myra since his death, were stolen by a band of Italian sailors in 1087 A.D. and taken to Italy where they remain to this day, housed in the Basilica de St. Nicola in Bari.

 

The St Nicholas legend spread ever wider around the world and in 13^th century France December sixth became the feast of St Nicholas or Bishop Nicholas Day and as his fame spread north his red bishops robe was replaced by more practical suit of clothes, still red, but trimmed with white fur and his bishops mitre was replaced by red fur trimmed hat.

Then by the end of the 15^th century, St Nicholas was with the exception of Jesus and Mary the most popular religious figure in the Christian world.

 

Even after the protestant reformation when the worship of saints and relics was discouraged the people kept faith with Nicholas.

 

When in the 17^th century the puritan Oliver Cromwell became Lord Protector of England, he banned anything about Christmas the might be construed as enjoyable.

He banned any kind of feasting, drinking or dancing he even banned the hanging of holly.

In America, the puritans went further by banning even the mention of St. Nicholas as well as gift-giving, candle-lighting and carol-singing.

But this only served to make people believe in St Nicholas even more.

THE LEGEND OF ST NICHOLAS THE RED SUITED SANTA Part one – Genesis of the Gift Giver

 

During this narrative I will be answering the eternal question which is all pervading during the festive season namely does Santa Claus really exist?

Obviously, the answer we want is a resounding yes and so it will be.

Secondly, I will be exploding the popular myth that it was the Coca Cola Company who were responsible for the red suited image of Santa.

 

St Nicholas is known by many different names around the world and he undoubtedly a legend.

The legend began in the 4th century A.D. in what is now Demre in modern Turkey.

Nicholas was a Christian priest and was born in 280 A.D. in the Lycian city of Patara near the ancient city of Myra where he later became Bishop.

 

Nicholas was the son of a wealthy man and when he inherited his father’s wealth, he travelled the land helping the poor and sick and he was greatly admired for his piety and kindness.

He became the subject of many legends for example he was said to have brought a dead child back to life and he once saved the life of a prisoner by putting himself between the condemned man and his executioner also he is said to have stopped a storm in order to save three sailors from drowning.

But the most enduring and perhaps the best known of the Nicholas legends was when he secretly left golden dowries at the house of a poor man who was on the verge of selling his three daughters into slavery or prostitution.

The dowries meant the three poor sisters could be married.

This remarkable event has led to a tradition we still celebrate to this day as the sisters had left their stockings by the fire to dry and it was in the stocking where Nicholas placed the gold.

Despite his many secret late-night visits to the homes of the poor and needy of the city he is forever known as the gift giver of Myra.

 

In the year 303 A.D., Diocletian the Roman emperor commanded all citizens of the Roman Empire to worship him as a God.

Nicholas and his fellow Christians believed in but one God and in all conscience could not obey the Emperor.

In his Anger Diocletian threatened the Christians with imprisonment if they did not comply.

Many Christians including Nicholas defied The Emperor and were imprisoned.

Nicholas was confined to a small cell for almost ten years and suffered greatly but never wavered in his beliefs.

It was In 313, when Constantine replaced Diocletian to become the first Christian Emperor and Constantine’s first act was the release of the Christians and upon his release Nicholas returned to his post as Bishop of Myra where he continued his good works until his death on December 6, 343.

On his death he was sainted to become St Nicholas the patron saint of Children and sailors.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – WINTER SONG (2019)

In the true spirit of the holiday season storeowner Clio (Ashanti) befriends Fred (Stan Shaw), a former jazz musician down on his luck, and welcomes him into her shop to perform for the customers and they form a special bond over music.

Besides their love of performing, Clio and Fred also have their share of family struggles in common, for Clio, she must grapple with the first Christmas since the death of her father, while for Fred, a reunion with his daughter Mia (Sashani Nichole) is just what he needs to give him hope in his life.

Together with the power of music and love the two find the strength to overcome their hardships.

A wonderful movie with a great performance by Stan Shaw who shined in his role, but the music was the heartbeat of the film. 

SATAN RULES KO

 

If you’re a worshiper of Satan

And you suffer from Dyslexia

Take care before you commit

You may sell your soul to Santa