RUDOLPH GOT AN F

 

Rudolph got an F in his exam

Which was a mystery

But after his paper was remarked

He went down in History

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE SANTA CLAUSE 3: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE (2006)

 

Santa Claus (Tim Allen) had problems, it was only a few days before Christmas and production was lagging, Mrs. Claus (Elizabeth Mitchell) was about to give birth to their first child and wanted family time, and the Counsel of Legendary Figures had called an emergency meeting to discuss Jack Frost (Martin Short) and at the end of the meeting he is left with Santa, on probation and under his supervision.

To appease his wife, he flew her parents (Alan Arkin and Ann-Margret) up to the North Pole but had to pretend to them that they were in Canada.

He also brings his ex-wife Laura (Wendy Crewson), her husband Neil (Judge Reinhold), and their daughter Lucy (Liliana Mumy) to surround his wife with family.

But while Santa is busy with the family Jack makes mischief inside the toy factory and hatches a plan to become Santa and with Santa juggling so many things, he manages to trick him into invoking the little-known Escape Clause and wish he'd never become Santa.

DOB?

 

In Rome a monk living about 530 AD

                   A mathematician and an astronomer

Was given the task of calculating

                   And reforming the Christian calendar

In essence to pinpoint with all precision

                   The date of Jesus Christ’s birth exactly

A miscalculation was discovered later

                   He was four years out unfortunately

Christ was born on January the sixth 

                   According to the scholarly Egyptians

The date of Christ’s death was thought

                   More important to the early Christians

Rome selected Christ’s birth date to be

                   On the twenty fifth day of December

To coincide with the old pagan festivals

                   Like that of Mithras and Saturnalia

The sixth of January is Christmas day

                   For the apostolic church from Armenia

But its the following day that’s Special

                   For the Orthodox Church of Russia

CHRISTMAS ISN’T JUST ABOUT PRESENTS

 

Christmas isn’t just about presents

I have a far deeper meaning in mind

Christmas marks the birth

Of the saviour of all mankind

A FAMOUS CHRISTMAS STORY

A famous Christmas Story

Contains a well-known character

Who died eating Macaroni

He’s the Ghost of Christmas pasta

CHRISTMAS JAMMING

 

I sit in my car on a December day

In the evening rush hour on a Friday

Rain pounds on the roof of my car

As I sit in a jam not getting very far

Just sitting motionless in the traffic

Late home again, that just terrific

Bright red taillights fill my view

The light’s of other cars in the queue

I see Looking to my left and right

The twinkling of a Christmas light

The queue edges forward very slowly

Then I reach the junction eventually

Twenty minutes just to get this far

I see the blue light of a police car

I don’t believe it I could explode

The police have only shut my road

I still don’t know what’s to blame

As now I go back the way I came

All the way home I rant and rage

Growling like a wild beast in a cage

Rush hour and my spleen is vent

Shutting the road is so inconvenient

The reason for delay I still can’t see

But I do make it home eventually

I shout at the kids taking off my hat

I moan at my wife and kick the cat

I look at my dinner with total disdain

Dried up the gravy now just a stain

On Monday I relate my tale of woe

And my problems with traffic flow

A colleague of mine who lived locally

Knew the details and informed me

And then with shame I was filled

A woman was run down and killed

A week before Christmas she had died

A happy Christmas for her was denied

A poor young woman had lost her life

Somebody’s lover somebody’s wife

She was both a daughter and mother

Mourned by two sister’s and a brother

Bells ring out on Christmas morning

Bells ring out for a family mourning

Christmas bells ring out in glory

To celebrate the Christmas story

I spent Christmas with my family

With my heart so full of sympathy

I felt so ashamed at my selfishness

Angry impatient and thoughtless

I confess I behaved so irrationally

Just because I was late home for tea

When next I’m in a jam I’ll remember

Any time from January to December

I shall keep things in true perspective

And my thanks to God I shall give

No matter how slowly I have to drive

If I’m sitting in a jam, I’m still alive

MARTIN LUTHER BLING

 

There is a legend suggesting that Martin Luther

Who was a sixteenth century religious reformer 

And founder of the Protestant church in Germany

Was the first to put candles onto a Christmas tree

It’s said he was walking home one winter’s night

When he noticed the stars were shinning bright

And through the tree’s he saw the twinkling light

And he was so impressed by this majestic sight

We he returned home he set up his Christmas tree

Decorating it with lighted candles for all to see