Christmas is the hardest time
When in the
bosom of kith and kin
Amidst the
exited chatter
And rustle
of discarded paper
Punctuated
by the joyous laughter of children
And over
exited grown ups
I made all
the right noises
As I wore
my painful smile
I opened my
presents when prompted
“Oh isn’t
that lovely” I cooed
“That’s
just what I wanted” I lied
But what I
actually wanted
Was to be
somewhere else
Where there
was no need of false delight
Or
insincere thankful exclamations
Anywhere
else but there
They are
well meaning souls
Who thought
to help me,
By
including my in their joyous celebrations
But they
don’t understand my grief
Or the
empty ache of a shattered heart
Each
innocent Christmas ritual cut me like a knife
The
familiar songs, once loved, now hurt
And each
merry Christmas was a fresh cut
Losing you,
my partner in life
Was like
having a conjoined twin cut away
And among
that happy crowd
My
loneliness was most keenly felt
When all
the excitement died away
I sat in
silent contemplation
When sweet
memories of happier days
Flooded
into my mind to torture me
I hide it
from the crowd
Keeping the
pain and sorrow within
But so
intertwined were our lives
I am left
incomplete
I am in
torment every day for the want of you
But Christmas
is the hardest time
