Those Memories Made on Teardrop Lake – (22) I’ve Never Seen “It’s a Wonderful Life”

(Part 01)

In November, Megan Thomas moved into Flat 4 of East Cliff Lodge, after it was hastily vacated by Emily Waugh who was reconciled with her ex-husband, and moved back in with him.
Megan was an only child and had spent all of her adult life nursing her invalid mother.
It was a thankless task, for her mother Edith was a bitter and demanding woman who put her timid daughter through the proverbial ringer.
When Edith finally shuffled off this mortal coil the overwhelming feeling that Megan had was one of relief.
At the funeral she looked every bit like a mournful daughter, but she was not grieving, it was just that life with Edith had drained her with the result that she was pale and drawn and she looked five years older than her 47 years.
Not that she ever had a lot of flesh on her bones, the years of being her mother’s skivvy had kept her thin and left her with a gaunt expression.
After the funeral and the reading of Edith’s last will and testament, Megan decided it was time for her to take stock of her life.
Although her mother had left her comfortably off in the financial sense but she was left with no family, no friends, no profession and most of all with no discernible purpose.
It took Megan several weeks to come to terms with her situation and to decide what path she should follow with her new found freedom.

Her mother Edith was a tyrant who imposed all of her draconian rules and Victorian prejudices on her dutiful brow beaten daughter.
Her mother hated the country so they lived in the city, Edith hated dogs so Megan wasn’t allowed a dog, and she didn’t like Television so TV’s weren’t allowed in the house.
She decided what books she shouldn’t read, what clothes she should wear, and what thoughts should occupy her mind.
And over the years of her servitude there were a million other petty little dictates and prejudices Megan had to adhere to and Edith revelled in them.

One of Edith’s prejudices was driving, Megan didn’t drive, because her mother thought car drivers in general were vulgar, and for women she didn’t think it was ladylike.
The day after the funeral Megan had her first driving lesson.

Finally three months after she had buried her mother Megan made a life changing decision, the first of many, the house that Edith called home and Megan called a prison was put on the market.
It sold within a week.

Megan’s next decision was to fulfil a lifelong dream of living in the country but she lacked the knowledge of how to proceed, her new found freedom was in the hands of someone not equipped to use it, yet.
So she spoke to the family solicitors, Stanislas, Boivin and Champeaux and instructed them to find her somewhere to live in the country.
As luck would have it her Solicitors also administered the Lakeside estate, in Shallowfield and the Dancingdean Forest which was how Megan Thomas came to move to Teardrop Lake.

Once she had moved in to her new home, her first action was to buy a dog.
She didn’t know what sort of dog she wanted other than the size.
The dog couldn’t be so big that it took her for a walk and nor could it be one of those ridiculous creatures that celebrities carried around in their handbags, other than that she was open to anything.
She read through the advertisement in the Shallowfield and Childean Chronicle and there were a number of dogs for sale but the one that caught her eye was placed by Erica Pritchard, an elderly lady who lived in a bungalow on the Childean Road in Shallowfield.
The advert stated that the lady was not looking to sell the dog but she did have to meet the potential recipients before she let him go.
When she realised it was an elderly lady it did put her off somewhat.
She had had enough of cranky old women to last her a life time.
But Megan phoned the number anyway and arranged a mutually convenient time for her to go round.

(Part 02)

Even though Megan could now drive she decided she would walk to Mrs Pritchard’s bungalow, which took her about 35 minutes.
Any misgivings she may have had about elderly ladies were immediately dispelled when she met Erica.
She couldn’t have been any more different to her cantankerous mother.
Erica was lovely and so was the dog, it was a honey coloured American Cocker Spaniel called Skipper, wagged his stump of a tail frantically as Megan made a fuss of him.
“Well I can see he’s made up his mind about you already”
“He’s adorable” Megan said “How can you bare to part with him”
“Well I have to admit it’s not through choice” she replied
“I’ve reached the point where I’m struggling to look after myself let alone that little fella” she explained
“So I’m moving into sheltered accommodation, and unfortunately he’s not allowed”
“That’s really sad” Megan said

Erica made up her mind within a few minutes that Megan was the right person to take on Skipper.
But they still sat talking for over an hour before Megan took her leave.
Megan wrote down her phone number and handed it to Erica
“If you let me know your address I can bring him to visit you”
“Would you dear?” Erica said “That would be lovely”
Megan thought Erica was crying as she waved them off but she just returned her wave and carried on.

The next thing she got herself was a Television, but she didn’t like it, a lot of the programs were quite distasteful and the language was appalling.
Her Mother Edith didn’t like Television, and Megan had to admit she had a point.
Edith also thought everyone on TV was a degenerate but Megan thought that was stretching the point.

Over the years of her servitude her only friends were the books she read because although her mother sanctioned what books she could read she was unable to actually influence her choices.
Megan just got whatever books from the library she fancied.
Those books and there wonderful characters would always be her friends and when she discovered something called a Kindle her circle of friends grew exponentially.

So after she moved into her flat that was how she filled her days reading books and taking Skipper for long walks in the woods.
And the effect on her was startling, she had lost her unhealthy pallor and gaunt appearance and her skin had a healthy lustre to it.
And even her copper coloured hair had body and vitality, her new life on Teardrop Lake certainly seemed to agree with her.

It was on one such walk on a cold and damp November morning two weeks or so after her life began, that Megan and Skipper went up to Coopers Folly.

According to Wikipedia there were two Folly’s in the area around the Lake the first one was built in the early 19th century by the local Nobleman, the 8th Earl of Dancingdean who had it built for himself, in the style of a Castle Keep.
He was an exceptionally vain man and so he had the an area of Forest cleared on top of a hill and had the Folly built there and then so everyone around the lake would know whose it was he hoisted his standard high above the turret.
Wikipedia went on to say that second was erected as an act of retaliation by Ezekiel Cooper who lived on the opposite side of the Lake.
Ezekiel was not of the nobility, he was a self-made man and he made his money in the cotton Mills of Lancashire, and he despised the Nobles and the way they looked down on him.
So in response to the Earl’s construction he had built an even gaudier Folly of his own in the Victorian Gothic style.
Like his noble adversary he built his atop a deforested hill and had his standard flying.

Megan took Skipper to see the latter building, she hadn’t seen it before and she wasn’t sure she liked what she saw.
“It’s hideous isn’t it?” a voice behind her said
Megan turned around to see a tall slim woman close to her own age with Slavic features.
“It is rather” Megan agreed
“I am Angelika” the woman said with the hint of an accent
“And this fellow is Paris”
Paris was a chocolate coloured Labrador
“Megan” she said and shook her hand “and this is Skipper”
“That’s a lovely name” She said
“It’s short for “Golden Skipper Delight”” Megan said and Angelika roared with laughter
“No I meant Megan is a lovely name”
“Oh I see” she said and laughed “I always thought it was rather a dull name”
“Nonsense it’s an Anglo Saxon name which means “Little Pearl”” Angelika explained
“Really? I didn’t know that” Megan responded
“I have seen you before from a distance I think” Angelika said
“That’s right” Megan said “but I haven’t been up here before, we’re new so we are still exploring”
“There is a lot to explore” Angelika agreed “perhaps we will meet again sometime on one of your explorations”
“I hope so” Megan said and then they went their separate ways

(Part 03)

Angelika Schmeltz was not, like Megan, a newcomer to Teardrop Lake she had lived in Coopers Hill Cottage, on a hill high above the Southern Perimeter road, just a stone’s throw from the Folly, for 30 years.
She was only 18 when she left her native Netherlands and moved in with her lover and she had never regretted it for a moment but death visited them five years earlier and she still hurt.

She was an elegant looking woman with striking looks and mesmeric green eyes full of sadness.
Her short strawberry blonde hair was now streaked with grey.
Like Megan, Angelika had also been left comfortable after her bereavement but unlike Megan she did grieve and still grieved.
She filled her days reading old detective fiction, watching old movies, doing jigsaw puzzles and missing Charlie.
Angelika was not made to live alone, she needed company, but nor was she a natural mixer and she didn’t form attachments easily.
Her first impression of the lady at the Folly was a favourable one and she hoped she might bump into her again.
A mutually beneficial friendship might well develop if they could find some common ground.
They were both soppy about their dogs so that was a start.

The next morning Megan went to St Mary’s Church in Shallowfield.
A strong Christian faith was the only common ground between her and her mother and they maintained a regular attendance.
She was a little nervous as she walked in, she was quite self-conscious being the newcomer, but she was made very welcome, firstly by the Ben Shenton, the vicar, and then by his wife Olivia, who took her under her wing and introduced her to some of the congregation.
During the service Megan looked around to see if the lady with the chocolate Lab was there but she couldn’t see her.

And there was a very good reason why Megan couldn’t see Angelika at St Marys because Angelika hadn’t been to Church since Charlie passed.
She was angry with God for taking the love of her life and she was very unforgiving.

It was a week after their first meeting, on a crisp frosty autumn morning, when they met again.
The sky was a brilliant blue and the leaves crunched underfoot and the air was the freshest she had ever known.
It was the dogs who spotted each other first.
Megan and Skipper had just left East Cliff Lodge and were on the road about to head down the hill,
Angelika and Paris were coming the other way the latter considerable faster than the former.
“Good morning” Megan called brightly, she was hoping to run into her again at some time.
“Morning” Angelika said breathlessly “That dog will be the death of me”
“He’s hardly panting at all” Megan pointed out and laughed
Angelika would have laughed if she’d had the breath for it she just about had enough breath to say
“Well he’s a lot younger than me”
When she had completely got her wind back she asked
“So where are you off to?”
“Nowhere special we’re still exploring” Megan replied
“We’re off to Lovers Leap” she said
“Lovers Leap?” Megan repeated “I didn’t know there was one”
“Yes it’s a rocky outcrop above the cliffs, on a day like today the view is spectacular” she enthused
“Would you mind if we tagged along?” Megan asked hopefully
“Not at all, I would appreciate the company” Angelika replied and smiled

The cliffs that Angelika mentioned were an extension of those that formed part of the northern side of Teardrop Lake and formed the natural border between the Teardrop estate and the Dancingdean Forest proper.
Lovers Leap was so called because it was where desperate and broken hearted lovers would leap to their deaths although there was no evidence that anyone actually had but it made a good story.

(Part 04)

It wasn’t a long walk from where they met but it wasn’t an easy one either.
The dogs reached the top first and then Angelika and some distance behind was Megan who was extremely out of breath.
“I thought you had decided not to come” Angelika said jovially
“You must have the constitution of a mounting goat” Megan retorted
“The legs certainly” she agreed and laughed

By the time they reached Lovers Leap Megan was panting worse than the dogs and as she walked onto the shelf that was “Lovers Leap” and took in the vista it took away what little breath she had remaining.
“Wow” she said as she looked out across the russet hues of the deciduous Dancingdean Forest stretching into the distance and they sat down on the rocky shelf.
“This is my favourite place” Angelika said “Charlie and me used to come here often”
“I can see why” Megan said
Angelika almost cried but managed to stop herself.
“It’s different every time I come here, but it’s always special”

The walk back down wasn’t much easier on the legs than the one up was.
And when they reached the road Megan said
“Gosh I’m pooped, I could do with a cup of tea”
Megan was unaccustomed to social etiquette so she just added
“Why don’t you join me?”
“I’d love to” Angelika said pleased that she appeared to have found the friend she was looking for.
Megan on the other hand hadn’t had a friend since she left school so she was particularly pleased to have found a kindred spirit.

The yomp up to Lovers Leap was the first of many walks the four of them took in the forest, all of them ending in Tea or Coffee at whoever’s home they finished up nearest to.
On the first of December they had walked up to the Tower which was at the Southwest corner of the Lake.
The Watch Tower was reputed to date back to the time of the Armada but the truth of that had been disputed and in truth nobody actually knew even Wikipedia was vague on the subject.
But when they got there Megan found it a bit disappointing, it was not dissimilar to the towers you see dotted all over the Mediterranean, not that she’d ever seen one other than in a book.
While they were there the heavens opened so they beat a hasty retreat back to Coopers Hill Cottage.
Angelica opened the door and they both kicked off their boots in the lobby and discarded their coats.
And when they went deeper inside Megan was staggered to see the difference in the place since her last visit two day earlier.
There were coloured lights, garlands and baubles everywhere.
“Goodness me” she exclaimed
“Charlie always went overboard with the decks at Christmas so I’ve kept up the tradition” she said wistfully
“Have you not put yours up yet then?”
“I don’t have any” Megan confessed “Mother didn’t like decorations”
“Well “mother” can’t spoil your fun anymore” Angelika said “So tomorrow morning I’m going to take you to Shallowfield Garden Centre, they really know how to do Christmas”

Angelika would accept no argument and picked her up in her old Mondeo Estate and drove her to the Garden Centre.
Once inside Megan was like a child in a sweetshop at the end of rationing.
She didn’t know where to look first, Angelika had to rein her in a bit at times otherwise she would have bought the whole shop.
By mid-afternoon with Angelika’s help Megan’s flat was every bit as generously decorated as Angelika’s Cottage was.
Megan was absolutely thrilled, her mother would have hated it.
She had never done Christmas to any degree, other than the religious aspect.
There were never any festivities, no decorations, no presents, not even Christmas cards and very definitely no fun.
So this new experience made her tingle all over and with Angelika she felt a real sense of family.

(Part 05)

Over the next week or so the walks were foreshortened by the weather which was not conducive to prolonged country walks, but the dogs had to be exercised so some exposure to the elements was necessary.
When there was finally a break in the weather the dogs were given a thorough walking and at the end of it the four of them where shattered.
As they were on the south side of the lake Angelika said
“Let’s go back to mine for lunch and then we can watch “It’s a Wonderful Life””
“What’s that?” Megan asked
“What’s what?” Angelika replied
“It’s a wonderful something” she said
“It’s a Wonderful Life?” Asked Angelika
“Yes?”
“It’s a Classic” Angelika said
“A Classic what?”
“Movie, James Stewart, Donna Reed, Clarence the angel?” Angelika said but Megan looked at her blankly and responded
“I’ve never seen “It’s a Wonderful Life””
“Then you my dear are in for an absolute treat” she said and put her arm through Megan’s and they pressed on to the cottage.

At the end of the film both women were in tears
“That was brilliant” Megan said dabbing at her eyes with her hankie
“I can’t believe you’ve never seen it before” Angelika stated
“I’ve never seen a film before” she said
“Not one film?” Angelika asked incredulously
“No”
“Well you’ve started with a corker” she said
“I will have to introduce you to some more films”
“Will they be as good as that one?” Megan asked
“Some of them will be even better” Angelika replied
“Then I can’t wait” she admitted

After that they spent every afternoon in either the flat or the cottage watching classic movies, and Megan loved them all.
For Angelika watching Megan experiencing Clarke Gable and Claudette Colbert in “It happened one night” or James Stewart and Margaret Sullivan in “Shop around the Corner” was almost as special as the movies.

One day when she was on her way home from Angelika’s, Megan had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming that she was happy or that she was just remembering the plot of book she once enjoyed, because she was enjoying her new life and her new friendship so much.
Megan had been so unhappy for so long she didn’t realise just how unhappy she was until it was over.
It was only six months since her mother Edith had passed away but it seemed like a lifetime and in those six short months she had begun to live.
She never in her wildest dreams imagined she could ever be happier than she was at that moment.

A few days after they watched “It’s a Wonderful Life” together Megan and Skipper were just leaving Angelika’s to go home and as she was planning to go to the Carol Service at St Mary’s that night so she decided to ask Angelika if she’d go with her and her response surprised her.
“No, no” Angelika said adamantly “I haven’t set foot inside a Church since Charlie passed”
“But it’s only Carols” Megan said
“No! I am still too angry with God for taking my Charlie” she said
“Well if you’re sure” Megan said brightly
“Quite sure”
“Ok then I’ll see you tomorrow” she said and left it at that, Megan didn’t want to push her too hard because she didn’t want to risk upsetting her, their friendship was too important to her than that.
And as Angelika closed the cottage door she hoped she hadn’t been too blunt with her, the last thing she wanted to do was hurt Megan in anyway, but she wasn’t ready yet to forgive God.

Megan went to the Carol service alone and thoroughly enjoyed it and she went to the Sunday service a few days later but she didn’t ask Angelika on that occasion though she hadn’t given up on her, she would bide her time.

The day after it was a foggy day, one of those days when the fog clung on all day.
They took the dogs out in the morning but the freezing fog got into their bones so they cut the walk short and went back to the cottage.
Just before lunchtime Coleman Bowers knocked loudly on the door.
He was a proper old country boy in his late fifties with white receding hair and a matching wiry beard.
He worked at the Shallowfield Lodge Hotel as an odd job/handyman and part of his duties was to take his Skiff around the lake twice a week delivering the mail and small parcels.
But that day he was in a van because he was delivering Door Wreathes, Holly boughs and sprigs of Mistletoe.
The Shallowfield Lodge Hotel took advance orders for them and then Coleman delivered them on his rounds.
“I’ve already delivered your’n to the flat” he said to Megan
“Thanks Coleman” she replied
“Can you hang this sprig on that nail?” Angelika asked pointing up at the beam.
“Yes’m” he replied and adopted a broad stance before reaching up.
At which point they both kissed him beneath the mistletoe, just a peck on each cheek, but that was enough to make him turn beetroot red, and leave the cottage unceremoniously.
Both of them fell about laughing at his reaction and then Angelika held the mistletoe above Megan’s head as she adopted Coleman’s distinct stance and she kissed her, but unlike with Coleman it didn’t stop at a peck, in fact it didn’t stop at all, and the recipient didn’t run away red faced into the fog.

Christmas Poem Selection # 25

IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 8

Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Well there’s no evidence yet
But ask yourself if a man
Would choose to wear red velvet

I DON’T LIKE THE SHORTENED FORM

I don’t like the shortened form
Of Christmas, it’s not quaint
I dislike it because Xmas sounds
Like some kind of skin complaint

FROSTY, WINDY, CLOUDY AND SQUALLY

Frosty, Windy, Cloudy and Squally,
Misty, Rainbow and Precipitous Hail
Are the met office seven dwarfs
And let’s not forget Princess Gale

EVERYONE KEPT SAYING I SHOULD DECK THE HALLS

Everyone kept saying I should Deck the Halls
There is even a Christmas song about it
So I acted when the opportunity came along
And you know Mr and Mrs Hall didn’t like it a bit

SANTA CLAUS LOVES CHRISTMAS

Santa Claus loves Christmas
It’s his favourite time by far
And that’s because he knows
Where all the naughty girls are

SANTA ASKED ABIGAIL

Santa asked as a little girl climbed onto his lap,
"And what would you like for Christmas Abigail?"
The child stared at him open mouthed with horror
And then she snapped "Didn't you get my E-mail?"

I LOVE CHRISTMAS PUDDING

I love Christmas pudding
But it doesn’t return the favour
I wish you could get Gaviscon
In brandy butter flavour

GROPIUS THE EIGHTH DWARF

Gropius the eighth dwarf
Is no longer a performer
Since all the allegations
He’s on the offenders register

IT’S ONE OF LIFE’S INEVITABILITIES

It’s one of life’s inevitabilities that there will
Definitely come a time in every family residence
A moment when the children notice that Santa
Uses the same wrapping paper as their parents

MY BOYFRIEND IS JUST LIKE SANTA CLAUS

My boyfriend is just like Santa Claus
Though he doesn’t fulfil a single wish
And he doesn’t give me presents
But he’s like Santa because he’s a myth

WHEN MY LITTLE KITTENS SETTLE DOWN

When my little kittens settle down
On Christmas Eve amidst the snores
The little kitties dream like a child
And they dream about Santa Claws

SCROOGE HATES CHRISTMAS

Scrooge hates Christmas
But loves all of the reindeer
And the simple reason for that is
To him every buck is dear

THIS YEAR’S NEW YEAR’S EVE FORECAST;

This year’s New Year’s Eve forecast;
A row with the girlfriend, acute loneliness
Followed by being mostly drunk with
A very slight chance of unconsciousness

Christmas Movie Reviews # 12

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE NINE LIVES OF CHRISTMAS

Firefighter Zachary Stone (Brandon Routh) is happy with the single life, no strings, no commitments and no settling down.
He has a succession of stunningly beautiful girlfriends, the latest one being model Blair (Chelsea Hobbs) but after he adopts a stray cat called Ambrose or more precisely the cat adopts Zachary, he meets veterinarian student Marilee White (Kimberly Sustad) in the pet food aisle at the supermarket and he begins to question if the single life is as fulfilling as he thought it was.
Marilee has also sworn off serious commitment or in fact dating in general until she finishes her final year of study but she is nonetheless drawn to the good looking firefighter.
They meet several times and the attraction grows until Blair gets Marilee fired from her dad’s pet store which leads to Zachary dumping her and going off in search of Marilee to apologize.
When he finally runs into her she gets evicted from her apartment for a breach of the tenancy agreement, namely having a cat.
So needing a place to stay he offers her his spare room and then the sexual tension builds between them.
But the question is will either of them break their vows against commitment in lieu of the love that is growing between them.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE PERFECT HOLIDAY

“The Perfect Holiday” is a fun-filled comedy full of laughter, love and just a hint of magic for Christmas.
A little girl, Emily (Khail Bryant) overhears her mother Nancy (Gabrielle Union) tell her friends that she would be happy if a man was to just pay her a compliment.
So when she goes to see the Mall Santa, Benjamin (Morris Chestnut), she asks Santa to make her mum’s wish come true.
Benjamin decides that he would make the wish come true and in the process he falls in love with Nancy with the help of an Angel, Mrs Christmas (Queen Latifah) and in spite of the efforts of her counterpart Bah Humbug (Terrence Howard).
Charlie Murphy, Katt Williams and Faizon Love also star in this, delightful family treat for the whole family to enjoy.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A COUNTRY CHRISTMAS STORY

The film follows a young chorister from a small Appalachian mountain town, Grace Gibson (Desiree Ross) and her family as she pursues her dream of becoming a country music star.
She is ably supported along the way by her parents (Megyn Price and Brian McKnight), her teacher and mentor (Ross McCall) and grandmother (Mary Kay Place).
The pinnacle of the film is a country and western talent show hosted by Dolly Parton in which she is up against Jamie Warner (Dillon James) and the excellent Mary Lou Memphis (Camille Sanders).
This is an enjoyably sweet tale with the subtle morality messages which you would expect in a film aimed at young teens but it has very little reference to Christmas although the final scene showing the family sitting down to Christmas dinner accompanied by Desiree Ross’s rendition of Silent Night is quite beautifully done and its worth watching the film just for that.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CHRISTMAS IN THE CITY

With the threat of foreclosure hanging over her father's candy store, Wendy Carroll (Ashley Williams) and her six-year-old daughter Grace (Kylie Price) travel to the big city in hopes of making extra holiday cash to save the store.
They stay with hometown friend Angie (Shanola Hampton) who works at Wolman’s Department store and Wendy manages to get a job in the toy department.
The job brings her into contact with the nephew of the store owner Tom Wolman (Jon Prescott) which prompts an instant mutual attraction, which brings her into direct conflict with Teanna Musk (Ashanti) the board appointed Grinch of a store manager.
On the surface Teanna seems hell bent on destroying the Christmas spirit throughout the store, even sacking Santa, but she has an ulterior motif.
With Wendy losing faith in Christmas she reaches out to the old man who was the store Santa only to discover he was the real deal and then she realises she must bring the true meaning of Christmas back to Wolman’s before it is too late and get her man into the bargain.
One of the films highlights is a nicely performed rendition of "The First Noel" by Wendy and Tom.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE MAGIC CRYSTAL

This is the delightful animated tale of a young orphan boy Yotan (Kyle E. Christensen) who is tricked into going to the North Pole to steal a powerful crystal by Santa’s Brother Basil (Gerald Owens).
But as soon he realises he has delivered it into the wrong hands, he sets out to return it to safety before it's too late and Christmas is lost forever.
Security Elf’s Jaga and Didi (Clarissa Humm & Cj Fam) don’t think Yotan is up to the task but Santa (Joe Carey) holds a different view.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE CHRISTMAS SWITCH

Eddie Bennett (Brian Krause) is a fast-talking, Three-card Monte dealer who has hustled the streets of New York City for the last 15 years and along with his friends, he has mastered every scam there is.
But one day in early December he is visited by a mysterious burly looking man called Nick (George Buza) who offers him an unusual proposition where he will give Eddie the opportunity to achieve eternal redemption for all the bad deeds he has done in his life and in return he must transfer his spirit into a different body for three weeks.
The body belongs to an aging, ailing Santa Claus, Sam Wells (Cedric Smith), who can use Eddie's body to play Santa for one more Christmas before he dies.
Eddie thinks the man is crazy and has no interest in redemption but if he were to go through with the deal, he'd want a million dollars in cash.
The mysterious Nick snaps his fingers and a million dollars appears before an amazed Eddie and so the deal is done.
Complications arise when Eddie's friends find out about the million dollar pay off and want part of the action and when Eddie meets Sam's daughter, Susan (Natasha Henstridge) he finds himself falling in love with her and also finds the real meaning of Christmas along the way.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE ELF THAT RESCUED CHRISTMAS

This is the delightful animated tale of a young orphan boy Yotan (Kyle E. Christensen) who is tricked into going to the North Pole to steal a powerful crystal by Santa’s Brother Basil (Gerald Owens).
But as soon he realises he has delivered it into the wrong hands, he sets out to return it to safety before it's too late and Christmas is lost forever.
Security Elf’s Jaga and Didi (Clarissa Humm & Cj Fam) don’t think Yotan is up to the task but Santa (Joe Carey) holds a different view.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE CHRISTMAS MIRACLE OF JONATHON TOOMEY

This is a story of the coming together of sad and lonely people in a gentle, moving and heart-warming way.
Jonathan Toomey (Tom Berenger) is a lonely ill-tempered and reclusive woodcarver who lives in a cabin in the woods.
He is lonely because he has lost his wife and child and he is ill-tempered because he is angry about his loss.
Thomas McDowell (Luke Ward-Wilkinson) is sad because he lost his father in the war.
When he moves to the country with his mother and he suffers further heart break when, on the journey, he loses the treasured wooden nativity set that held a special meaning for him and his dead father,
So his worried mother, Susan (Joely Richardson), persuades the curmudgeonly woodcarver to create a replacement set, and to allow her son to watch him work on it.
A curious relationship then develops during the commission as the young boy makes greater and more difficult demands of the woodcarver's ability, and as Christmas approaches, the three of them struggle to come to terms with each other and their painful memories of the past.
A lovely and very enjoyable, film beautifully shot with idyllic chocolate box scenes of the country.
There is also a strong supporting cast and even a small part for the always excellent Saoirse Ronan who never disappoints.
All in all a very good watch.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CHRISTMAS SHEPHERD

The Christmas Shepherd is the delightful story about Sally Brown (Teri Polo) who is a published children's book author and the widow of a veteran.
After her husband Dylan died she was left with his German Shepherd "Buddy" who became her constant companion and muse.
But after a severe storm, Buddy, who is afraid of thunder, runs away and after a number of human interventions ends up with widower, Mark Green (Martin Cummins) and his daughter Emma (Jordyn Ashley Olson) and Buddy becomes the bridge that bring the two lonely people together.
A lovely film of which Buddy is the real star.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CHRISTMAS SONG

When a boys schools merges with a girls school they are left with two music programs and two music teachers, Diana (Natasha Henstridge) and Ken (Gabriel Hogan) which is unsustainable.
One of the programs would eventually have to go which is why Principal Gedler (Brigitte Robinson) suggests they enter duos in a televised singing competition to decide who is most worthy to stay.
But despite the fact they were in direct competition Romance blossoms between the two music teachers as they also compete for the same job.
A very enjoyable holiday offering, especially the scene when the Principal has a Christmas Dinner rehearsal.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – IRA FINKELSTEIN'S CHRISTMAS

Ira J. Finkelstein (Elijah Nelson) is a Christmas obsessed Jewish boy.
He's seen every Christmas movie ever made and his dreams are filled with reindeer, sleigh rides and of course, snow.
The problem is, apart from the fact that Ira is Jewish is that at 11 years of age he feels that Christmas is passing him by and When Ira's hopes for a holiday vacation in Aspen are dashed, he hatches a plan to finally get the Christmas of his dreams.
When flying unaccompanied to visit his grandparents in sunny Florida, he swaps tickets with Mikey Amato (Justin Thomas Howell), another 11-year-old also flying unaccompanied on his way to Christmastown, WA.
But they not only trade airline tickets but places as well and Ira gets more than he bargained for when he experiences his first "White Christmas".
Elliott Gould and David DeLuise also star in this pleasant Christmas caper.

Christmas Poem Selection # 24

IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 7

Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Well surely it’s self-evident
It takes a great deal of effort
To achieve the necessary merriment
And no man is capable
Of that level of commitment

NO FRANKINCENSE, GOLD OR MYRRH

Melchior, Balthazar and Caspar
Travelled long with Gifts to bring
Not frankincense, Gold or myrrh
Or other valuable precious things
But non glutinous food stuffs
As they were Wheat Free Kings

A BLONDE GIFT

Bimbette got a new scarf for Christmas
But in the New Year she exchanged it
The store took it back without a quibble
Even though she said it was too tight a fit

DURING THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY

During the Christmas holiday
From coast to coast
What do you call a stuffed animal?
We call it a turkey roast

I AM A MAN OF SIMPLE TASTES

I am a man of simple tastes
But obviously there’s a twist
So all I want for Christmas
Is Santa’s naughty girl list

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU

All I want for Christmas is you
Let me make this perfectly clear
All I want for Christmas is you
To be trampled by a herd of reindeer

ARE YOU WEARING XMAS STOCKINGS?

Are you wearing Xmas stockings?
With a holly wreath motif
Along those long festive garlands
How I wish to trace each leaf
Along each luscious limber leg
An ascent exquisitely brief
To reach the Christmas gift
Beyond the holly wreath motif

SANTA ANA AND HIS REINDEER

"Now Vortex! Now Bluster!
Now, Twister and Mizzle!
On, Cyclone! On, Humid!
On, Monsoon and Drizzle!
From their HQ in Exeter!
To the Met office ball!
Now dash away! Dash away!
Dash away all!"

DON’T LOOK BACKWARDS, MERELY

Don’t look backwards, merely
Half-heartedly and insincerely
Remember those Christmas’s clearly
And remember the people dearly

DOWN AT THE SHOPPING MALL

Down at the shopping mall
There’s a lot of bustle and fuss
As the registers ring its beginning
To cost a lot like Christmas

THEY SAY THAT IT’S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS

They say that it’s the thought that counts
Rather than the size of the gift
But if you decided to give everyone your
Opinion in lieu they might be miffed

WE LOST THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS

We lost the true meaning of Christmas
Almost from the start
It’s become about what’s in your pocket
And not what's in your heart

WE WOKE UP EARLY ON CHRISTMAS DAY

We woke up early on Christmas day
And she reached for her negligee
While I checked the children’s room
And finding them asleep in the gloom
I held her in the first light of dawn
And we made love on Christmas morn

I FOUND HER SITTING IN MY STUDY

I found her sitting in my study
And she was completely in the nuddy
So given the delicate situation
I exploited her infatuation
And as the church bells rang
We started Christmas with a bang

A RED RIBBON TIED IN YOUR HAIR

A red ribbon tied in your hair
You’re a lovely Christmas miss
Come under the mistletoe
And let me steal a Christmas kiss

Christmas Poem Selection # 23

IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 6

Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Well would that be so shocking
I mean if it were left to a man
And I don’t mean to be mocking
But are really more interested
In a very different stocking

ARE YOU WEARING ANY CLOTHES?

Are you wearing any clothes?
My little Christmas elf
You’re supposed to dress the tree!
Not undress yourself

A CHRISTMAS DAY BIRTHDAY # 2

For those born on Christmas day
They miss out, which is a caper
But to rub salt into the wound
Wrap their gift in Xmas paper

GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
When into the roadway she strayed
It was an accident waiting to happen
Because Santa Claus was totally slayed

CHRISTMAS BOX

A common native of Asia
And the Himalayas
The Greeks called
It Sarcococca
“The fleshy berry”

We call it Christmas Box
With its large fragrant flowers
Blooming in winter
Making the stark
Christmas garden, merry

SNIP! SNAP! CHRISTMAS

Snip! Snap! Dragon!
Here comes the flaming bowl
So let mischief take its toll
Just as festive Christmas comes
Snatch at the feast of plums
In amongst the Brandy’s flame
It’s our favourite Christmas game
Snip! Snap! Dragon!

MINCE PIES FULL

Mince pies full
Of spice and season
I don’t eat them
Heartburn’s the Reason

MERRY BELLS

Merry Bells of Christmas
Of genus Uvularia
Whose yellow drooping
Bell-shaped flowers
Brighten the season

REINDEER TURN

Rudolph is doing stand up
At this year’s Christmas do
But between each gag he says
“This one will sleigh you”

IT WAS THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY

It was the office Christmas party
Where I met my girl Lottie
I felt really out of place
Every girl there was totty
I was out of my comfort zone
They were all pouty and hottie
I was just about to go home
When she said “Are you Scottie?”
I said “yes how did you know?”
“I asked” she said “I’m Lottie,
So you could ask me to dance”
I looked at her like she was Potty
She just smiled at me patiently
I smiled back and said “What me?”
She nodded and smiled again
And was swept off my feet by Lottie

ARCTIC EDUCATION

At the North Pole
If an education is sought
You won’t get any training
Everyone is Elf taught

CHRISTINGLE (ACROSTIC)

Candles
Holly
Red ribbon
Incense
Sweets
Tinsel
Inspiration
Noel
Gold
Light
Eternal

BREAKFAST TIME COMES

Breakfast time comes
Just after day breaks
When Frosty the snowman
Eats his Snowflakes

IF THE STORK WAS TO VISIT

If the stork was to visit
Santa and Mrs. Claus
The child would naturally be called
The subordinate Claus

LUCY WANTED TO BUY HER GRANNY

Lucy wanted to buy her Granny
A ladies handkerchief set
But in the end changed her mind
She didn’t know what size to get

Christmas Poem Selection # 22

CHRISTMAS PUDDING

Christmas pudding
Boiling in the pot
Rich steamed pudding
Hissing in the pot
Christmas pudding
Singing in the pot
Turn the pudding out
Its steaming hot

OH MY DEAR MRS. CHRISTMAS

Oh my dear Mrs. Christmas
You fill me with cheer
When I see you dressed
In all your Christmas gear

You look so tinsellicious
In the red velvet dress
With stockings to match
And I would like to stress

That I am looking forward
To seeing the silk underwear
And let’s not forget about
The little bit of white fur

I BUILT THE PERFECT SNOWMAN

I built the perfect snowman
Well a snow-woman actually
She was a little disproportionate
But she was perfect to me
She was a little cold
But we could’ve been happy

I wrapped her in a blanked
And took her to my bed
In the morning I was hoping,
Though nothing was said
That we would make love
But I woke alone instead
And to make matters worst
One of us had wet the bed

MY WIFE HAS MADE IT CLEAR TO ME

I mustn’t leave my shopping,
My wife has made it clear to me,
Until late on Christmas Eve
For my Christmas won’t be merry
If all she gets is cheap perfume
And more slutty lingerie

MITHRAS

Mithras was a pagan faith
Older than we can remember
And the festival was held
Towards the end of December

Thank God it’s been replaced
By the festival of Christmas
Otherwise we’d have to wish
Everyone a merry Mithras

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS DRAWERS?

Are you wearing Christmas drawers?
I would like a look at yours
I bet a pound to a penny
You’re not wearing any
There we have it at last
You are as I thought bare arsed
Of course it makes you look loose
Even if you have an excuse
Well that really is shocking
You’re supposed to hang a stocking

IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 5

Is Santa Claus really a woman?
How ridiculous, no way
They can’t parallel park a car
How would they cope with a sleigh?

THE MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS

The magic of Christmas
Is the Christmas cheer
What a shame it can’t last
Throughout the year

BREAKFAST TIME COMES, AGAIN

Breakfast time comes
Just after day breaks
When Santa’s little helpers
Eat their Frosted Flakes!

CHRISTMAS BELLS

Christmas bells
Of Genus Blandfordia
Orange or crimson
Whose large flowers
Brighten the season

A CHRISTMAS DAY BIRTHDAY # 1

For those born on Christmas day
Parents have a great responsibility
So don’t wish them a happy birthmas
Or Merry Chrisday it provokes hostility

Christmas Poem Selection # 21

THE MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS TIME

The magic of Christmas time
Is all the good will it brings
But sadly it gets packed away
With the other Christmas things

CHRISTMAS TIP

If you want next Christmas
To be happy and merry
Then insure the Christmas card
You send to your sister Kerry
Has sufficient postage
And arrives before January

REMEMBER DECEMBER

The chilly month of December
Is the time for us to remember
In the run up to Christmas
Those who went before us
Loved ones and dear friends
Whose influence still wends
Shaping the form and style
Their memories making us smile
We remember the traditions
As they shared our celebrations

PUT A COIN IN THE BUCKET

Put a coin in the bucket
It doesn’t have to be big
Just a small token
That you won’t even miss

Put a coin in the bucket
Just drop it in
Or maybe a few
It’s good for your heart

Put a coin in the bucket
And shine a light
Into the darkest corner
Of a strangers life

Put a coin in the bucket
It’s nothing to you
But a bucket full of nothings
Will do a lot of good

I WISH YOU GOOD LUCK

I wish you Good luck
I wish you Good cheer
I wish you Good health
For the coming year

I wish you Good times,
I wish you great days
But I will never ever
Wish you happy holidays

AS WE APPROACH ANOTHER YULE

As we approach another Yule
Its time I went off on the pull
Looking for a Christmas honey
Someone attractive and funny
And if I manage to attract her
I will pull a Christmas cracker

WE COULD HAVE

We could have raised a glass
With all the usual crowd
We could have gone to mums
And spent Christmas in Stroud

We could have jetted off
For sand and sea and sun
We could’ve gone to my bro’s
Were they have “lots of fun”

We could have stayed at home
And just had “a quiet one”
Laughing at the annual
Morecambe and Wise rerun

But we decided to avoid this year
The usual helter skelter
And help cook Christmas dinner
At the homeless shelter

THE CHURCH BELLS RING OUT

The church bells ring out
The Christmas chimes
The congregation sings out
The Christmas rhymes
So lift up your hearts
And join the joyous throng
And sing heartily to the lord
A joyous Christmas song

MAY THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON

May this Christmas season
Be overflowing with Christmas spirit
Enough to banish all the Grinch’s
And the Ebenezer Scrooges
And make it a very merry Christmas

WINTER WARMER

The Snow lies on the Earth
Icicles hang from the gate
Frost sits on the window panes
A fire burns in the grate

The sun sets beyond the wood
Abandoning the sky
Let’s draw the curtains in
And bank the fire high

Now turn the lamplight up
And forget about the weather
Warm moment we’ll share
As we cosy up together

IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 4

Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Why are we having this debate?
If Santa was a woman
How would she navigate?
My wife got lost last week
In a car park in Ramsgate

PRAYERS WERE SUNG

Prayers were sung
To the Heavens high
Then the angel told
The messiah was nigh
And a light of peace
Entered men’s hearts
Love filled the world
To herald a new start

A CHRISTMAS DAY BIRTHDAY # 3

For those born on Christmas day
They miss out, which is a shame
But to rub salt into the wound
Give them a Christmas name

EBENEZER SCROOGE WENT TO COURT

Ebenezer Scrooge went to court,
Accused of shagging a cat
The judge dismissed the case in a jiffy
And said in all his years as a judge,
That he'd never known Scrooge
To put anything into a kitty

CHRISTMAS ISN’T JUST ABOUT PRESENTS

Christmas isn’t just about presents
I have a far deeper meaning in mind
Christmas marks the birth
Of the saviour of all mankind