Christmas Poem Selection # 2

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 15

Twas the night before Christmas and thru the bungalow
Not a creature was stirring in the fireside glow
They’d all been evacuated because of the flood
And the living room floor was all covered in mud

ARE YOU WEARING A RED CHRISTMAS OUTFIT?

Are you wearing a red Christmas outfit?
You look very beautiful in it
In fact you look very cute
In your Santa’s little helper suit
A Christmas hat sits atop your curls
In a way only suited to girls
A beautiful red velvet dress
And white fur trim to impress
Striped woollen legs of red and white
Are they stocking or tights?
Stockings would be in reason
More in keeping with the season
But I would not disparage woolly tights
They too have their own delights
Come and help me trim the tree
And say you dressed this way for me?

CHAVS CHRISTMAS # 1

I kept the kids home from school
For the big Christmas shop
Because during school time
You rush round without a stop

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS ANKLE SOCKS?

Are you wearing Christmas ankle socks?
I’ve often pictured them on you
And you don’t need anything else
Just wearing the socks will do

FOR STRESS FREE SHOPPING

For stress free shopping
Follow this golden rule
And get all of it done
While the kids are at school

PICKUP # 6

When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
“Can I have your picture?”
You ask to establish a premise
“So I can show Santa Claus
What I want for Christmas?”

WHEN SANTA ISN’T WORKING # 1

When Santa isn’t working
With a happy ho ho ho
He likes to tend his garden
With his Hoe Hoe Hoe

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 250

Little Robin Redbreast sat upon a tree
He makes a pretty picture doesn’t he?
Little Robin Redbreast in the winter hard
He makes a pretty picture on a Christmas card

THEY WON’T BE PLAYING MUSICAL CHAIRS

They won’t be playing musical chairs
In palaces or Royal homes
Prince Charles prefers to play a variant
Called Game of Thrones

A PRESS RELEASE FROM SANTA CLAUS STATED

A press release from Santa Claus stated
That the Poles reputation had been blighted
So Mobile phones were banned, the number
Of indecent Elfie’s was the reason cited

CHRISTMAS (ACROSTIC) # 1

Crackers
Holly
Ribbons
Ivy
Stars
Tinsel
Mistletoe
Angels
Stockings

SNOW BLIND

Since the snow began to fall
My wife has done nothing at all
But stare blankly through the window
As the snow lays snow on snow
If it continues in this way
We shall have a white Christmas day
But my wife stares through the glass
As the snow falls thick and fast
Sadly if it gets any worse out side
I'll have to let her come inside

BLESSED DAY

It was the day when Jesus Christ was born
That long, long ago first Christmas Morn,
The child whose coming had been foretold
A child more precious than diamonds or gold
God’s great gift to us on that blessed day
That most glorious first Christmas day

MY GOOSE WAS COOKED

On Christmas morning
Into the kitchen I snook
And as my wife cooked the Goose
I goosed the cook

A TIME OF MIRACLES

The cynics say of miracles
That they are a scarce commodity,
If they happen at all
But to my mind
There is nothing more miraculous
Than the birth of a child
It may be the most common placed
Of miracles
But it is miraculous
Nonetheless

THE PIPES OF CHRISTMAS PAST

The pipes of Christmas past
Carry with every merry blast
Seasonal joy, when they play
Their tunes of Christmas day