Christmas Selection Box # 20

CHRISTMAS BUSH

The Christmas bush
Is Australian obviously
And isn’t really a bush at all
It’s in fact a shrub or tree
With red flowers for selection
As Christmas decoration

IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 2

Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Why has this not come up before?
If it were left to a man everything
Would come from the corner store

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CHRISTMAS CONSULTANT

The Christmas Consultant, Owen (David Hasselhoff), is a highly sought-after consultant hired by a workaholic mother Maya Fletcher (Caroline Rhea) to get her and her dysfunctional family through the holidays.
Everybody loves Owen, much to Maya’s annoyance, and he has the perfect solution to each and every problem as it arises but it turns out that his own life isn’t how he paints it.
It isn’t the best example of a Christmas movie but its well worth a watch if for no other reason than to see Maya meltdown at the Christmas Eve party.

IT WAS CHRISTMAS EVE IN DAD’S HOUSE

It was Christmas Eve in Dad’s house,
And not a hint of the season in sight
No stockings hang by the fire side
He was such a miserable old shite

FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 49 A SPACEMAN CAME TRAVELLING

Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my forty ninth selection.

“A Spaceman Came Travelling”
Written and Performed by Chris de Burgh

A spaceman came travelling on his ship from afar,
'Twas light years of time since his mission did start,
And over a village he halted his craft,
And it hung in the sky like a star, just like a star...

He followed a light and came down to a shed,
Where a mother and child were lying there on a bed,
A bright light of silver shone round his head,
And he had the face of an angel, and they were afraid...

Then the stranger spoke, he said "Do not fear,
I come from a planet a long way from here,
And I bring a message for mankind to hear,"
And suddenly the sweetest music filled the air...

And it went La La...
Peace and goodwill to all men, and love for the child...

This lovely music went trembling through the ground,
And many were wakened on hearing that sound,
And travellers on the road, the village they found,
By the light of that ship in the sky, which shone all round...

And just before dawn at the paling of the sky,
The stranger returned and said "Now I must fly,
When two thousand years of your time has gone by,
This song will begin once again, to a baby's cry..."

And it went La La ... This song will begin once again
To a baby's cry...
And it goes La La... Peace and goodwill to all men, and
Love for the child...
Oh the whole world is waiting, waiting to hear the song again,
There are thousands standing on the edge of the world,
And a star is moving somewhere, the time is nearly here,
This song will begin once again, to a baby's cry...

MORE NUTS THAN CAN BE CRACKED

We buy more drink than can be drunk
We buy more food than can be eaten
We give more gifts than can be appreciated
But for fun Christmas can’t be beaten

KEEPING UP WITH THE JONES’S

It can only be Christmas
When the sane start acting funny
Going nuts for Christmas’s sake
And spending too much money

Even the level-headed slip
And fall at the Christmas season
Swept along with the throng
Losing all sense of reason

Why does it always happen?
Why does madness always descend?
It seems that the less people have
The more they want to spend

So desperate not to miss out
And to have their share of festive cheer
They have a very happy Christmas
And pay the price all the coming year

ARE YOU WEARING RED VELVET?

Are you wearing red velvet?
That’s really nice to see
And so fitting for the season
It makes me feel so Christmassy

FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 39 MARCH OF THE KINGS

March Of The Kings
French traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown

Three great kings I met at early morn
With all their retinue were slowly marching
Three great kings I met at early morn
Were on their way to meet the newly born
With gifts of gold brought from far away
And valiant warriors to guard the royal treasure
With gifts of gold brought from far away
Their shields all shining in their bright array
Ce matin, j'ai rencontré le train
De trois grands rois qui allaient en voyage
Ce matin, j'ai rencontré le train
De trois grands rois dessus le grand chemin
Tout chargés d'or les suivaient d'abord
De grands guerriers et les gardes du trésor
Tout chargés d'or les suivaient d'abord
De grands guerriers avec leurs boucliers
For Thy mercy and Thy grace
Constant through another year
Hear our song of thankfulness
Father and Redeemer hear
Dark the future; let Thy light
Guide us, bright and morning star
Fierce our foes and hard the fight
Arm us Savior for the war
In our weakness and distress
Rock of strength be Thou our stay
In the pathless wilderness
Be our true and living way
Keep us faithful; keep us pure
Keep us evermore Thine own
Help, O help us to endure
Fit us for the promised crown

CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 4

When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During the Christmas season
Just say “I would love
To show you the special toys
My elves make for
The big girls and boys”