ARE YOU WEARING IT FOR A REASON?
Are you wearing it for a reason?
That outfit for the Christmas season
Yes it does come around very soon
But you do realise that it’s only June
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 13
Twas the night before Christmas
And all thru the dwelling
the fragrances of Christmas
Was all we were smelling
IT’S ALL DOWN TO YOU
It’s all down to you
You are the number one
Thanks for everything
For another job well done
You’re the best of the best
Happy Christmas Mum
WITHOUT SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER
Without Santa’s little helper
Christmas would be very hard
I don’t think I could do Christmas
Without my credit card
A WINTER BLUNDERLAND
Door bells ring, are you listening,
In the street, snow is glistening,
Out in the night,
There’s a hideous sight
Your mother in her winter underwear
WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLIND REINDEER?
What do you call a blind reindeer?
During the governments austere stance
“Fit for work and no longer eligible
For any disability allowance”
CHRISTMAS SWEATER
My sister in law
Fills a sweater well
I think she’s rather hot
The truth to tell
For Christmas
I bought for her
A button fronted
Lambs wool sweater
I want to see her in it
I just can’t wait
She has a figure
To really fascinate
It has ten buttons
It’ll be a tight fit
Very figure hugging
That’s how I like it
She has breasts
Quite first rate
She has curves
That really titillate
She has a figure
To really fascinate
Of the ten buttons
She’ll only fasten eight
MERRY CHRISTMAS HO HO HO
Merry Christmas Ho Ho Ho
Is Santa’s motto
And Santa thought that
He’d won the lotto
When he scored big
With three girls so hot-o
They were doing things
In Santa’s grotto
That Santa’s and Elves
Should definitely not-o
But merry Christmas
Ho Ho Ho is his motto
ITS NOT THAT I’M ANTI SOCIAL
I won’t come to the pub
Thank you all the same
Not in celebration
No thanks I will refrain
I will go to church
Thank you all the same
To celebrate the day
That the Lord came
UP AT THE CRACK OF DAWN
Don’t worry that the little ones
Will be up at the crack of dawn
It is worth it to see the simple joy
In their eyes on Christmas morn
SOMETHING MAGICAL IS HAPPENING
Something magical is happening
Can you feel it?
Something special is on its way
You all love it
Christmas is coming and hearts
Are full to brimming
Because Christmas is abiding love
With all the trimmings
ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS SWEATER?
Are you wearing a Christmas sweater?
Well this season just keeps on getting better
It’s not that I like novelty knitwear
But I can ogle your chest and you won’t care
SO YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE CLAUSTROPHOBIC
So you think that you are Claustrophobic
Well I doubt that is a phobia of yours
As I should tell you that Claustrophobia
Is definitely not a fear of Santa Claus
AFTER A LONG FLIGHT ON THE SLEIGH
After a long flight on the sleigh
Listening to Sleigh bells jingle
It wasn’t milk and cookies
That made Santa’s taste buds tingle
It was the thought of Mrs. Claus’s
Freshly made Crisp Cringle
THERE WAS A MEXICAN SHEPHERD
There was a Mexican shepherd
Who once worked for my dad
And every Christmas time
He wished us Fleece Navidad
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