Friday, 5 November 2021

THINGS THAT GO BUMP, ELECTRICKERY AND OTHER DISASTERS

 

It was in the early hours of Christmas morning when I was awoken by a loud crash from the direction of the chimney breast.

I look arround and my wife who is a very light sleeper hadn’t stirred.

Now given the time of the year and the time of night someone younger or more impressionable might have thought it was Father Christmas about his work in the chimney.

However being a grizzled old cynic I thought it more likely to be either a burglar or perhaps the wind blowing over my chimney or even subsidence.

I lay awake for about ten minutes trying to work out what the noise was and hearing no further noises I decided it must have been a dream and went back to sleep.

 

A few hours later awoken suddenly again this time by three excitement crazed children dragging their sacks of presents behind them on thing was for sure there would be no return to sleep after this disturbance.

When the children had opened all their stocking presents they rushed off downstairs for breakfast leaving a scene of devastation behind them.

 

After breakfast I went back upstairs and showered and then went into the bedroom to dress for the day.

On opening the wardrobe door I discovered the source of the crash that had woken me up several hours earlier.

The rail in the wardrobe had collapsed and all the clothes were in a heap at the bottom on top of the shoes.

“So it wasn’t a dream then” I said to myself.

Five minutes later and wearing a slightly creased shirt I made my way back downstairs to what sounded like bedlam.

 

The rest of the morning went according to plan; the children opened their main presents from under the tree and disappeared off to play with their favourites.

 

By twelve o’clock the dining table was laid complete with my late mother’s best table cloth, Christmas napkins, party favours, best china, glassware and the brand new table centre while emanating from the kitchen was the sound of steam rattling the saucepan lids together with the mouth watering aroma of roasting Turkey.       

In the lounge my wife was holding court with myself and her parents looking on as she was opening the few presents that still remained.

I left the group to go and boil the kettle for a drink as I entered the kitchen I looked at the electric cooker and there was one ring lit with nothing on it so I checked the other rings to make sure that the saucepan with the potatoes had heat under it which it did.

So I went to switch off the vacant ring only to discover it was already switched off.

Now there had been a little water spilled on the hob from where one of the pans had begun to boil over so I mopped up the spillage and using reverse psychology I turned the rogue ring on believing this would in fact turn it off, it didn’t it just tripped the breaker in the meter cupboard instead.

I went to the cupboard and reset the breaker and it tripped immediately.

So then we decided to wait for ten minutes before we repeated the exercise which ended with the same result.

It was decided that we could not use the cooker as it was just too dangerous.

With my wife almost in tears I said “it’s not the end of the world darling, and nobody died”.

So with true Dunkirk spirit we made the best of a bad situation.

As luck would have it the Turkey was cooked as was the stuffing, sausages and the Potatoes where boiled.

The remaining vegetables we were able to cook in the microwave and all we had to forgo were the roast potatoes and parsnips.

Now it wasn’t the most successful Christmas lunch we ever had but it could have been a lot worse.

“Bad things always come in three’s” I think we all thought it but equally all refrained from saying it out loud.

 

The next day, Sunday, passed off without incident for us anyway, my wife had to hit the stores in the Boxing Day sales to choose a new cooker.

 

Its late in the evening when, sitting down in front of the TV we see the news for the first time that day and we here the dreadful news about the Tsunami for the first time and even then it didn’t even hint at just how big a tragedy it really was.          

Two hundred and fifty thousand dead in a heartbeat from Indonesia to sir Lanka and beyond and still counting.

 

We had our new cooker delivered on Thursday 30th December we were inconvenienced for five whole days.

Five days before normality was restored to our household.

Many of The survivors of the Tsunami will never have their lives restored to what they knew before Boxing Day.

 

Count your blessings and make the best of what you have because it’s a lot more than many.

MY FAVOURITE THINGS AT XMAS # 2

 

Mulled wine and eggnog, a schooner of sherry

Baileys and Babycham to keep the girls merry

Singing along as Bing Crosby sings

These are a few of my favourite things

Tuesday, 2 November 2021

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – SNOWMANCE

 

In this story Sarah (Ashley Newbrough) has always been a true romantic, and desperately seeks a partner with the same outlook, alas she can’t find him.

So she indulges in her favorite Christmas tradition, where every year she builds her “Snow Beau” snowman with the help of her best friend Nick (Adam Hurtig).

After she breaks up with her boyfriend right before the holidays, Sarah begins to wonder if she'll ever find her own true love, like the one her parents shared.

After Sarah and Nick build the latest manifestation of her dream love, a little Christmas magic brings her Snow Beau to life as the romantically perfect Cole (Jesse Hutch), she must decide whether to pursue the romance she's always dreamed of with her “Snow Beau” or the true love that has been right in front of her all along.

LISTEN ON CHRISTMAS MORNING

 

On Christmas morning

While tree tops still glisten

If you stop opening presents

And take a moment to listen

 

You will hear a sound

Unmistakable, clear and true

The sound of Love

Will be in the room with you

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 36

 

Twas the night before Christmas

And all along the street

The faithful walked to Church

Where they would meet

To celebrate the Mass and wait

For Christmas Day to greet

FIRST WORKING CHRISTMAS

 

In the early seventies I was living in an area of Stevenage called Marymead where my mother was the warden at a block of sheltered accommodation flats for the elderly.

I attended Shephallbury School nearby which I left in the May and I started my first job later that same month.

My job was working as a trainee groundsman with the Hertfordshire County Council grounds maintenance team and the depot was in the north of Stevenage old town paying the grand sum of £10.99 per week before stoppages.

Although the depot was some distance from where I lived it was never an issue as there was a very good bus service.

In the November of that same year my family moved house from Marymead on one side of town to the Hyde on the other, this point will become more significant later in the tale.

The house move didn’t effect my getting to and from work as Stevenage corporation as it was then known operated flat fare buses operating on circular routes so I still got the same bus but from a different stop and the price was the same this also will prove significant later on.

As I said this was my first year at work and I had my first Christmas party to look forward to.

It was on the last day before we broke for the Christmas holiday and we had a little party in the yard where a little Christmas cheer was imbibed and a drink or two were consumed.

Now I was only sixteen and I had only had very limited experience of alcohol and I got well and truly bladdered on whisky Mac, cider and something unpronounceable from Yugoslavia.

One of the guys gave me a lift into the town centre and from there I caught my usual bus.

In my drunken state I managed to climb the stairs to the top deck and the bus set off filled with heavily laden Christmas shoppers and a drunken trainee groundsman.

I must have drifted off on the journey and I suddenly came to and looking out the window recognized a familiar site and I got off the bus.

I headed off up the road in the direction of home wishing all and sundries a merry Christmas as I went.

I entered through the main doors to the flats and passed the Christmas tree in the foyer and headed straight for flat number one.

At the door I fumbled for my key and presented it to the lock, it wouldn’t fit.

I peered closely at it and it was definitely my door key so I tried to put it in the lock again, still it wouldn’t fit.

Suddenly the door opened and a stranger looked out at me “Can I help?” she asked.

“Ah my name is Paul and I don’t live here anymore do I?”

The lady, who was the new warden, agreed with me that I no longer lived there so I wished her a happy Christmas and made my way back to the foyer were there was a pubic telephone with a large Perspex dome over it.

My intention was to phone for a taxi but rummaging in my pockets I discovered I had no money for the taxi or indeed to make a phone call then as I tried to duck under the Perspex hood I tripped over my own feet and fell into the Christmas tree which ended up on top of me.

The lady who now lived at no 1 heard the commotion and came to investigate and to my surprise thought it very amusing to find a drunken teenager wearing the Christmas tree.

The new warden phoned for a taxi for me and even gave me the money for the fare.

That was real Christmas spirit and I have never forgotten her kindness and tolerance and try to keep that same spirit in my own heart at Christmas.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – LOVE YOU LIKE CHRISTMAS

 

A high-powered advertising executive, Maddie Duncan (Bonnie Somerville), has a fear of flying, so when she is invited to the wedding of an important client in the run up to Christmas she decides to drive from New York to Denver.

However, a combination of traffic jams, car trouble and a poor sense of direction lead her to Christmas Valley, a town in love with Christmas.

As she was driving a classic Ford Mustang she is forced to stay in town while the mechanic is waiting for the parts.

The only local accommodation is the boarding house run by Pam (Precious Chong) where she meets fellow boarder Bob Harding (Richard Waugh) and a young girl, Jo Tyler (Madison Brydges), who along with her father Kevin (Brennan Elliott) will force Maddie to reconsider her priorities.