A PRESS RELEASE FROM SANTA CLAUS STATED

 

A press release from Santa Claus stated

That the Poles reputation had been blighted

So Mobile phones were banned, the number

Of indecent Elfies was the reason cited

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS DRAWERS?

 

Are you wearing Christmas drawers?

I would like a look at yours

I bet a pound to a penny

You’re not wearing any

There we have it at last

You are as I thought bare arsed

Of course, it makes you look loose

Even if you have an excuse

Well that really is shocking

You’re supposed to hang a stocking

ARE YOU WEARING XMAS STOCKINGS?

 

Are you wearing Xmas stockings?

With a holly wreath motif

Along those long festive garlands

How I wish to trace each leaf

Along each luscious limber leg

An ascent exquisitely brief

To reach the Christmas gift

Beyond the holly wreath motif

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS TIGHTS?

 

Are you wearing Christmas tights?

Adorned with a festive motif

Well, if those long festive limbs

Decorated with Christmas motif

Were to entwine about me

Then my resistant would be brief

ARE YOU WEARING XMAS TIGHTS?

 

Are you wearing Xmas tights?

Oh, how they are exciting me

Adorned with a festive motif

What a Christmas this will be

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS HOSIERY?

 

Are you wearing Christmas hosiery?

Phwor are you going to let me see

Oh, how they cling to the shape of you

I would like to cling to them too

Oh yes, I like them very much

Perhaps I might have a touch

Oh, you are a proper tease

Would you let me if I said please?

ARE YOU WEARING COLOGNE?

 

Are you wearing cologne?

You’re wearing “Black Knight”

What is going on?

Something’s not right

Your wearing you’re cologne

And it’s a school night

It’s not your birthday

So, you’re not due a delight

It’s definitely not Christmas

I know I have that right

It’s a snow day tomorrow?

Ok turn out the light