ARE YOU WEARING A SPRIG OF MISTLETOE?
Are you wearing a sprig of mistletoe?
Are you hoping to meet a beau?
And kiss him passionately in the snow
An embrace to leave you all aglow
Is that why you wear the mistletoe?
CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 6
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During the Christmas season
Walk up and simply ask her
“If she would like to meet
Santa's little helper?”
RUDOLF’S LOW SELF ESTEEM
Rudolf suffered
From low self esteem
Due to the red nose
It would seem
It rendered him useless
As a parcel carrier
So Santa made a call
To a reindeer whisperer
NOW THAT IT'S CHRISTMAS # 1
Now that it's Christmas
It makes me kind of sad
To do all the things
I used to do with Dad
But when I feel him beside me
Then I don’t feel so bad
JOY BRINGER, TOY BRINGER
Joy bringer
Toy bringer
He’s the real McCoy
For every girl and boy
NOT A THRIFT GIVER
Not a thrift giver
But a gift giver
Santa will forever
Have love to deliver
THIS IS OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS
This is our first Christmas
As husband and wife
The very first Christmas
Of our married life
This is our first Christmas
Together in our house
The very first Christmas
With my very own spouse
PUT ASIDE YOUR SADNESS
Put aside your sadness
Lose yourself in the madness
That is Christmas,
Come spend it with us
Come and you will see
That with cherished company
The season will be a little brighter
And the weight on your heart a little lighter
SANTA AND HIS LITTLE ELF
Santa and his little Elf
Have been dismissed
For activities undertaken
When they were pissed
That got both of them
Put on the naughty list
HANDLE MUM WITH CARE
Mum gets really stressed out at Christmas
And you upset her if you dare
Because the result could be that you will
Be hung from the chimney with care
CHRISTMAS MANIA
Uncle John has mental health issues
And he doesn’t do well with stress
So normally come Christmas time
He has to board the bi-polar express
ARE YOU WEARING A FESTIVE SWEATER?
Are you wearing a festive sweater?
Well this season just keeps on getting better
And you really don’t need a bigger size
A more perfect fit would be hard to devise
I WENT OUT CHRISTMAS SHOPPING
I went out Christmas shopping
But I didn’t get very far
Before I got caught shoplifting
As I stole an advent calendar
The shopkeeper had me arrested
Because of my larcenous ways
And for stealing an advent calendar
I got twenty five days
CRACKERS, FRUITCAKE AND NUTS
Crackers, fruitcake and nuts
They mean Christmas to me
Although to be honest, they
Could also describe my family
WHEN SANTA RETURNED HOME
When Santa returned home
To have his tea
His wife was there
Waiting apprehensively
“There was a phone call for you”
Said Mrs. C
“It was a little garbled
And made no sense to me
Something about Saville
And Operation Yew tree”
Friday 23 December 2016
Christmas Carols and Songs # 2
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 40 JINGLE BELLS
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my fortieth selection.
“Jingle Bells”
Written by James Pierpont
Performed by Rosemary Clooney
Dashing through the snow
Over the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on bobtail ring'
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to laugh and sing
A sleighing song tonight!
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way.
Oh! what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh.
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way;
Oh! what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh.
A day or two ago
I thought I'd take a ride
And soon, Miss Fanny Bright
Was seated by my side,
The horse was lean and lank
Misfortune seemed his lot
He got into a drifted bank
And then we got upsot.
A day or two ago,
The story I must tell
I went out on the snow,
And on my back I fell;
A gent was riding by
In a one-horse open sleigh,
He laughed as there I sprawling lie,
But quickly drove away.
Now the ground is white
Go it while you're young,
Take the girls tonight
and sing this sleighing song;
Just get a bobtailed bay
Two forty as his speed
Hitch him to an open sleigh
And crack! You'll take the lead.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 52 THE WEXFORD CAROL (GOOD PEOPLE ALL, THIS CHRISTMASTIDE)
"The Wexford Carol" ("Good People All, This Christmastide")
Irish traditional
Good people all, this Christmas time,
Consider well and bear in mind
What our good God for us has done
In sending his beloved son
With Mary holy we should pray,
To God with love this Christmas Day
In Bethlehem upon that morn,
There was a blessed Messiah born.
The night before that happy tide,
The noble Virgin and her guide
Were long time seeking up and down
To find a lodging in the town.
But mark right well what came to pass
From every door repelled, alas,
As was foretold, their refuge all
Was but a humble ox's stall.
Near Bethlehem did shepherds keep
Their flocks of lambs and feeding sheep
To whom God's angel did appear
Which put the shepherds in great fear
Arise and go, the angels said
To Bethlehem, be not afraid
For there you'll find, this happy morn
A princely babe, sweet Jesus, born.
With thankful heart and joyful mind
The shepherds went the babe to find
And as God's angel had foretold
They did our Saviour Christ behold
Within a manger he was laid
And by his side a virgin maid
Attending on the Lord of Life
Who came on earth to end all strife.
There were three wise men from afar
Directed by a glorious star
And on they wandered night and day
Until they came where Jesus lay
And when they came unto that place
Where our beloved Messiah lay
They humbly cast them at his feet
With gifts of gold and incense sweet.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 41 JOLLY OLD SAINT NICHOLAS
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my forty first selection.
“Jolly Old Saint Nicholas”
Lyrics by Benjamin Hanby
Music composed by Johann Pachelbel
Jolly old St. Nicholas, Lean your ear this way!
Don't you tell a single soul, What I'm going to say;
Christmas Eve is coming soon, Now, you dear old man,
Whisper what you'll bring to me: Tell me if you can.
When the clock is striking twelve, When I'm fast asleep,
Down the chimney broad and black, With your pack you'll creep.
All the stockings you will find Hanging in a row;
Mine will be the shortest one, You'll be sure to know.
Johnny wants a pair of skates, Susie wants a sled
Nellie wants a picture book, yellow,blue and red
Now I think I`ll leave
to you
what to give the rest
Choose for me dear Santa Claus
you will know the best.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 50 TORCHES
"Torches"
Composed by John Joubert
Torches, torches, run with torches
all the way to Bethlehem!
Christ is born and now lies sleeping;
come and sing your song to him.
Ah, Ro-ro, Ro-ro, my baby,
Ah, Ro-ro, my love, Ro-ro;
sleep you well, my heart’s own darling,
while we sing you our Ro-ro.
Sing, my friends, and make you merry,
joy and mirth and joy again;
lo, he lives, the king of heaven,
now and evermore. Amen.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 42 THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my forty second selection.
“The Twelve Days Of Christmas”
A traditional folk melody by English composer Frederic Austin
Performed by The Spinners
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A partridge in a pear tree
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Ten Lords A-leaping
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eleven Pipers Piping
Ten Lords A-leaping
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Twelve Drummers Drumming
Eleven Pipers Piping
Ten Lords A-leaping
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 46 SWEET LITTLE JESUS BOY
Sweet Little Jesus Boy
Music and lyrics written by Robert MacGimsey
Sweet little Jesus Boy
They made You be born in a manguh [manger]
Sweet little Holy chil'
Didn't know who You wus [was]
Didn't know You'd come to save us Lawd
To take our sins away
Our eyes wus bline [was blind]
We couldn't see
We didn't know who You wus [was]
Long time ago You wus bawn [was born]
Bawn in a manguh [manger] low
Sweet little Jesus Boy
De worl' [the world] treat You mean, Lawd
Treat me mean too
But please, Suh, fuhgive [Sir, forgive] us Lawd
We didn't know 'twas You
Sweet little Jesus Boy
Bawn [born] long time ago
Sweet little Holy chil'
An' we didn't know who You wus [was]
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 43 2000 MILES
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my forty third selection.
“2000 Miles”
Written By Chrissie Hynde
Performed by The Pretenders
He's gone two thousand miles
It's very far
The snow is falling down
Gets colder day by day
I miss you
The children will sing
He'll be back at Christmastime
In these frozen and silent nights
Sometimes in a dream you appear
Outside under the purple sky
Diamonds in the snow sparkle
Our hearts were singing
It felt like Christmastime
Two thousand miles
Is very far through the snow
I'll think of you
Wherever you go
He's gone two thousand miles
It's very far
The snow is falling down
Gets colder day by day
I miss you
I can hear people singing
It must be Christmastime
I hear people singing
It must be Christmastime
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 47 THIS ENDRIS NIGHT
This Endris Night
English traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown
This endris1 night I saw a sight,
A star as bright as day,
And ev'r among, a maiden sung,
"Lully, bye bye, lullay."
This lovely lady sat and sang,
And to her child did say,
"My son, my brother, father dear,
Why liest thou thus in hay?"
"My sweetest bird, 'tis thus required,
Though I be king veray,
But nevertheless I will not cease
To sing 'Bye bye, lullay.'"
The child then spake in his talking,
And to his mother did say,
"Yea, I am known as heaven-king
In crib though I be laid.
"For angels bright down on me light;
Thou knowest 'tis no nay.
And for that sight thou may delight
To sing, 'Bye bye, lullay.'"
"Now, sweet son, since thou art a king,
Why art thou laid in stall?
Why dost not order thy bedding
In some great kinges hall?
"Methinks5 'tis right that king or knight
Should lie in good array.
And then among, it were no wrong
To sing 'Bye bye, lullay.'"
"Mary mother, I am thy Child,
Though I be laid in stall;
For lords and dukes shall worship Me,
And so shall kingès all.
"Ye shall well see that kingès three
Shall come on this twelfth day.
For this behest give Me thy breast
And sing, By by, lullay."
"Now tell, sweet Son, I Thee do pray,
Thou art my Love and Dear—
How should I keep Thee to Thy pay6,
And make Thee glad of cheer?
"For all Thy will I would fulfill—
Thou knowest well, in fay7;
And for all this I will Thee kiss,
And sing, By by, lullay."
"My dear mother, when time it be,
Take thou Me up on loft,
And set Me then upon thy knee,
And handle me full soft.
"And in thy arm thou hold Me warm,
And keep Me night and day,
And if I weep, and may not sleep,
Thou sing, By by, lullay."
"Now sweet Son, since it is come so,
That all is at Thy will,
I pray Thee grant to me a boon8,
If it be right and skill9,—
"That child or man, who will or can
Be merry on my day,
To bliss Thou bring—and I shall sing,
Lullay, by by, lullay."
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 44 CHRISTMAS TIME (DON’T LET THE BELLS END)
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my forty fourth selection.
"Christmas Time (Don't Let The Bells End)"
Written by Al Stillman, Francis Patterson, Justin Hawkins, Victor Young, Edwin Graham, Daniel Hawkins
Performed by The Darkness
Feigning joy and surprise at the gifts we despise over mulled wine with you
On the 25th day of the 12th month
The sleigh bells are in time ringing true
How we cling each Noel to that snowflake's hope in hell
that it won’t end
Don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, just let them ring in peace.
Well the weather is cruel,
and the season of Yule warms the heart, but it still hurts.
You’ve got your career, spent the best part of last year apart and it still hurts
So that’s why I pray each and every Christmas day that it won’t end
Don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, just let them ring in peace.
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Dust underneath the mistletoe leaves when you’re not here,
You went away upon boxing day,
Now how the hell am I gonna make it into the New Year.
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, just let them ring in peace.
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my fortieth selection.
“Jingle Bells”
Written by James Pierpont
Performed by Rosemary Clooney
Dashing through the snow
Over the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on bobtail ring'
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to laugh and sing
A sleighing song tonight!
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way.
Oh! what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh.
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way;
Oh! what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh.
A day or two ago
I thought I'd take a ride
And soon, Miss Fanny Bright
Was seated by my side,
The horse was lean and lank
Misfortune seemed his lot
He got into a drifted bank
And then we got upsot.
A day or two ago,
The story I must tell
I went out on the snow,
And on my back I fell;
A gent was riding by
In a one-horse open sleigh,
He laughed as there I sprawling lie,
But quickly drove away.
Now the ground is white
Go it while you're young,
Take the girls tonight
and sing this sleighing song;
Just get a bobtailed bay
Two forty as his speed
Hitch him to an open sleigh
And crack! You'll take the lead.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 52 THE WEXFORD CAROL (GOOD PEOPLE ALL, THIS CHRISTMASTIDE)
"The Wexford Carol" ("Good People All, This Christmastide")
Irish traditional
Good people all, this Christmas time,
Consider well and bear in mind
What our good God for us has done
In sending his beloved son
With Mary holy we should pray,
To God with love this Christmas Day
In Bethlehem upon that morn,
There was a blessed Messiah born.
The night before that happy tide,
The noble Virgin and her guide
Were long time seeking up and down
To find a lodging in the town.
But mark right well what came to pass
From every door repelled, alas,
As was foretold, their refuge all
Was but a humble ox's stall.
Near Bethlehem did shepherds keep
Their flocks of lambs and feeding sheep
To whom God's angel did appear
Which put the shepherds in great fear
Arise and go, the angels said
To Bethlehem, be not afraid
For there you'll find, this happy morn
A princely babe, sweet Jesus, born.
With thankful heart and joyful mind
The shepherds went the babe to find
And as God's angel had foretold
They did our Saviour Christ behold
Within a manger he was laid
And by his side a virgin maid
Attending on the Lord of Life
Who came on earth to end all strife.
There were three wise men from afar
Directed by a glorious star
And on they wandered night and day
Until they came where Jesus lay
And when they came unto that place
Where our beloved Messiah lay
They humbly cast them at his feet
With gifts of gold and incense sweet.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 41 JOLLY OLD SAINT NICHOLAS
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my forty first selection.
“Jolly Old Saint Nicholas”
Lyrics by Benjamin Hanby
Music composed by Johann Pachelbel
Jolly old St. Nicholas, Lean your ear this way!
Don't you tell a single soul, What I'm going to say;
Christmas Eve is coming soon, Now, you dear old man,
Whisper what you'll bring to me: Tell me if you can.
When the clock is striking twelve, When I'm fast asleep,
Down the chimney broad and black, With your pack you'll creep.
All the stockings you will find Hanging in a row;
Mine will be the shortest one, You'll be sure to know.
Johnny wants a pair of skates, Susie wants a sled
Nellie wants a picture book, yellow,blue and red
Now I think I`ll leave
to you
what to give the rest
Choose for me dear Santa Claus
you will know the best.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 50 TORCHES
"Torches"
Composed by John Joubert
Torches, torches, run with torches
all the way to Bethlehem!
Christ is born and now lies sleeping;
come and sing your song to him.
Ah, Ro-ro, Ro-ro, my baby,
Ah, Ro-ro, my love, Ro-ro;
sleep you well, my heart’s own darling,
while we sing you our Ro-ro.
Sing, my friends, and make you merry,
joy and mirth and joy again;
lo, he lives, the king of heaven,
now and evermore. Amen.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 42 THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my forty second selection.
“The Twelve Days Of Christmas”
A traditional folk melody by English composer Frederic Austin
Performed by The Spinners
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A partridge in a pear tree
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Ten Lords A-leaping
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eleven Pipers Piping
Ten Lords A-leaping
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Twelve Drummers Drumming
Eleven Pipers Piping
Ten Lords A-leaping
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 46 SWEET LITTLE JESUS BOY
Sweet Little Jesus Boy
Music and lyrics written by Robert MacGimsey
Sweet little Jesus Boy
They made You be born in a manguh [manger]
Sweet little Holy chil'
Didn't know who You wus [was]
Didn't know You'd come to save us Lawd
To take our sins away
Our eyes wus bline [was blind]
We couldn't see
We didn't know who You wus [was]
Long time ago You wus bawn [was born]
Bawn in a manguh [manger] low
Sweet little Jesus Boy
De worl' [the world] treat You mean, Lawd
Treat me mean too
But please, Suh, fuhgive [Sir, forgive] us Lawd
We didn't know 'twas You
Sweet little Jesus Boy
Bawn [born] long time ago
Sweet little Holy chil'
An' we didn't know who You wus [was]
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 43 2000 MILES
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my forty third selection.
“2000 Miles”
Written By Chrissie Hynde
Performed by The Pretenders
He's gone two thousand miles
It's very far
The snow is falling down
Gets colder day by day
I miss you
The children will sing
He'll be back at Christmastime
In these frozen and silent nights
Sometimes in a dream you appear
Outside under the purple sky
Diamonds in the snow sparkle
Our hearts were singing
It felt like Christmastime
Two thousand miles
Is very far through the snow
I'll think of you
Wherever you go
He's gone two thousand miles
It's very far
The snow is falling down
Gets colder day by day
I miss you
I can hear people singing
It must be Christmastime
I hear people singing
It must be Christmastime
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 47 THIS ENDRIS NIGHT
This Endris Night
English traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown
This endris1 night I saw a sight,
A star as bright as day,
And ev'r among, a maiden sung,
"Lully, bye bye, lullay."
This lovely lady sat and sang,
And to her child did say,
"My son, my brother, father dear,
Why liest thou thus in hay?"
"My sweetest bird, 'tis thus required,
Though I be king veray,
But nevertheless I will not cease
To sing 'Bye bye, lullay.'"
The child then spake in his talking,
And to his mother did say,
"Yea, I am known as heaven-king
In crib though I be laid.
"For angels bright down on me light;
Thou knowest 'tis no nay.
And for that sight thou may delight
To sing, 'Bye bye, lullay.'"
"Now, sweet son, since thou art a king,
Why art thou laid in stall?
Why dost not order thy bedding
In some great kinges hall?
"Methinks5 'tis right that king or knight
Should lie in good array.
And then among, it were no wrong
To sing 'Bye bye, lullay.'"
"Mary mother, I am thy Child,
Though I be laid in stall;
For lords and dukes shall worship Me,
And so shall kingès all.
"Ye shall well see that kingès three
Shall come on this twelfth day.
For this behest give Me thy breast
And sing, By by, lullay."
"Now tell, sweet Son, I Thee do pray,
Thou art my Love and Dear—
How should I keep Thee to Thy pay6,
And make Thee glad of cheer?
"For all Thy will I would fulfill—
Thou knowest well, in fay7;
And for all this I will Thee kiss,
And sing, By by, lullay."
"My dear mother, when time it be,
Take thou Me up on loft,
And set Me then upon thy knee,
And handle me full soft.
"And in thy arm thou hold Me warm,
And keep Me night and day,
And if I weep, and may not sleep,
Thou sing, By by, lullay."
"Now sweet Son, since it is come so,
That all is at Thy will,
I pray Thee grant to me a boon8,
If it be right and skill9,—
"That child or man, who will or can
Be merry on my day,
To bliss Thou bring—and I shall sing,
Lullay, by by, lullay."
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 44 CHRISTMAS TIME (DON’T LET THE BELLS END)
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my forty fourth selection.
"Christmas Time (Don't Let The Bells End)"
Written by Al Stillman, Francis Patterson, Justin Hawkins, Victor Young, Edwin Graham, Daniel Hawkins
Performed by The Darkness
Feigning joy and surprise at the gifts we despise over mulled wine with you
On the 25th day of the 12th month
The sleigh bells are in time ringing true
How we cling each Noel to that snowflake's hope in hell
that it won’t end
Don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, just let them ring in peace.
Well the weather is cruel,
and the season of Yule warms the heart, but it still hurts.
You’ve got your career, spent the best part of last year apart and it still hurts
So that’s why I pray each and every Christmas day that it won’t end
Don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, just let them ring in peace.
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Dust underneath the mistletoe leaves when you’re not here,
You went away upon boxing day,
Now how the hell am I gonna make it into the New Year.
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, just let them ring in peace.
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Thursday 22 December 2016
Christmas Movie Reviews # 4
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER - CHRISTMAS MIRACLE (2012)
In the small town of Summit View there is a snowstorm blowing through on Christmas Eve.
It’s so severe the roads are almost deserted apart from a group of vehicles that become stranded on a remote road on the outskirts of town.
The occupants of the stranded cars take refuge in a nearby abandoned church.
James Mason (Aaron Pearl), is an ex-priest, who following the death of his wife and child is running away from his life and his vocation.
Darryl (George Canyon), is a Dyslexic EMT who dreams of becoming a doctor but believes that dream will never materialize.
Drake (David Nykl) and Madeleine (Lori Triolo) are a wealthy married couple whose marriage and its problems all revolve around money.
Nick (Randal Edwards) and Christy (Siobhan Williams) are newlyweds who have only been married for three days and have done nothing but argue
Joe Wells (Dan Payne) is the only local and is separated from his wife Mary (Allison Hossack), largely because of their differing views on how to manage their autistic son, Matt (Valin Shinyei) who runs away from his babysitter and walks through the storm to the church under his own steam.
Together the group must learn how to manage through the various dilemmas they face by working together.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER - THE NIGHT BEFORE THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
The Night Before The Night Before Christmas is a crazy Christmas fantasy for all the family, brimming with festive spirit.
Santa (R.D. Reid) sets off on his Christmas duties a day early, but ends up crashing into the Fox family's house where he not only loses his memory but also his magic sack of presents.
If ever Santa needed help it was now but the modern and broken Fox family are scarcely up to the task.
The parents Angela (Jennifer Beals) and Wayne (Rick Roberts) are preoccupied with work and the kids Toby (Gage Munroe) and Hannah (Rebecca Williams) aren't particularly festive.
But the clock is ticking so it's up to them to help Santa find his magical bag of toys and or Christmas will be ruined so they are forced to set their own petty problems aside and work together and rediscover how much they enjoy being together and realise that maybe they need to reprioritise their lives.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – LUCKY CHRISTMAS
Holly Caroni (Elizabeth Berkley) is a terminally unlucky single mother and wonders if her luck will ever change but as Christmas approaches she buys a lottery ticket.
And her luck does appear to change when she wins a million dollars but she is soon brought down to earth when she realises her winning lottery ticket is in the glove compartment of her recently stolen car.
Harmless construction workers Joe (Mike Bell) and Mike (Jason Gray-Stanford) are behind the theft of the Holly’s car at the end of a drunken evening.
So Mike comes up with a master plan to befriend Holly so he can return the ticket discreetly but he unexpectedly falls in love with Holly and learns there are more important things in life than quick money in time for the holidays.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – DECK THE HALLS (2006)
Optometrist Steve Finch (Matthew Broderick) loves the all the Christmas family traditions he has developed over the years in the town of Cloverdale, Massachusetts.
In fact he is a bit obsessive about it and has a schedule of activities for his wife Kelly (Kristin Davis) and children Madison (Alia Shawkat) and Carter (Dylan Blue) starting on December 1st.
Steve is proud to be the go to guy for anything Christmas related in the town at Christmas.
Then the Halls move in to the house across the street and they are cut from very different cloth.
Buddy Hall (Danny DeVito) is a salesman who can sell anything and soon becomes the new go to guy in town for all things Christmas.
His wife Tia (Kristin Chenoweth) and twin daughters Ashley and Emily (Kelly and Sabrina Aldridge) quickly become friends with their counterparts in the Finch household but Steve and Buddy are soon butting heads.
Which only gets worse when Buddy becomes obsessed with decorating his house with so many lights that it will be visible from space.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – JINGLE ALL THE WAY
Howard Langston (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a salesman for a mattress company and is very busy with his job and constantly lets down his son, so with Christmas coming he is determined to get him the must have toy for Christmas which is an action figure of his son's television hero, Turbo Man.
Unfortunately for Howard, he leaves it until Christmas Eve and every store is sold out of Turbo Man figures so Howard has to schlepp all over town and compete with every other tardy father including a mail man named Myron Larabee (Sinbad) to find a Turbo Man action figure.
A great slapstick free for all ensues and climaxes at the Wintertainment parade which will feature Turbo Man himself.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – MR MIRACLE
On his first time in human form a trainee Guardian Angel Harry Mills (Rob Morrow) has to pose as an English teacher to help a young woman, Addie Folsom (Britt Irvin) to find the confidence to change her life before Christmas.
If he fails Harry can say goodbye forever to his own Earthly existence.
Along the way he’s got a lot to learn about life as a human with the help of his seasoned heavenly mentor, Celeste (Michelle Harrison).
After her father’s sudden passing, Addie is living with her mom Sharon (Sarah-Jane Redmond), while attempting to finish her degree.
The important story revolves around her childhood nemesis and neighbour, Erich (Andrew Francis).
As Harry bumbles his way along as her teacher he constantly comes up against the principle Mr. Conceito (Malcolm Stewart) with amusing results.
And while helping Addie to see the wonderful things she can’t see in herself while learning a few life lessons of his own along the way.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT
I would have to admit that this is not a conventional Christmas tale but it is a rather good one nonetheless.
Samantha Caine (Geena Davis) is mother to 8 year old daughter Caitlin (Yvonne Zima) living in Honesdale, PA.
Samantha has a job teaching school and a boyfriend and is singularly unremarkable but for the fact that she had no memory of her life before she awoke from a coma eight years earlier.
But when she received a bump on her head in a car accident she begins to remember small parts of her previous life.
Along with a bargain basement private investigator, Mitch (Samuel L. Jackson) she digs deeper.
As a result she remembers more and more of her previous life until finally she finds out she is really Charly Baltimore a deadly assassin.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – DEFENDING SANTA
Sheriff Scott Hanson (Dean Cain) is responding to the report of a broken down vehicle on Christmas Eve and stumbles upon a sleeping Santa in the snowy woods.
Kris Kringle (Bill Lewis) then spends nearly a year in a coma and when he awakes he is put on trial to defend his identity before he can find his sleigh and get back to the North Pole.
With Christmas in doubt the small ski resort town has to learn to "believe" and Sheriff Hanson, a dad and widower, begins to fall for Santa's court-appointed defence attorney, Sarah (Jud Tylor).
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – ARTHUR CHRISTMAS
Arthur Christmas is the animated tale about Santa's clumsy son Arthur.
Contrary to Popular belief it turns out that Santa’s North Pole operation isn’t just a handful of artisan elf’s and a fat guy in a red suit making toys its actually an exhilarating ultra-high-tech operation hidden beneath the North Pole and run by the Christmas family.
And it’s a family business although it’s a family in a constant state of comic dysfunction and clumsy Arthur turns out to be an unlikely hero who gets put on an urgent mission with his father that must be completed before Christmas morning dawns and that mission is to give out a present they misplaced to a young girl in less than 2 hours.
Arthur is voiced by James McAvoy, with Jim Broadbent and Imelda Staunton as his parents, Hugh Laurie as his brother Steve and Bill Nighy as Grand Santa although my favourite was Bryony and the vocal talents of Ashley Jensen.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CRAZY FOR CHRISTMAS
On Christmas Eve, Shannon McManus-Johnson (Andrea Roth) a chauffeur and single mother, has to leave her son Trevor (Jason Spevack) with a babysitter as she is stuck driving around a wealthy and eccentric client Fred Nickells (Howard Hesseman) who is giving away large sums of money, literally throwing dollars in the air wherever he goes.
The rich man’s actions obviously attract the attentions of the media and as the story proceeds, conflict ensues after a reporter Peter Archer (Yannick Bisson) interviews Fred and we learn a secret he has been keeping for a long time.
In the small town of Summit View there is a snowstorm blowing through on Christmas Eve.
It’s so severe the roads are almost deserted apart from a group of vehicles that become stranded on a remote road on the outskirts of town.
The occupants of the stranded cars take refuge in a nearby abandoned church.
James Mason (Aaron Pearl), is an ex-priest, who following the death of his wife and child is running away from his life and his vocation.
Darryl (George Canyon), is a Dyslexic EMT who dreams of becoming a doctor but believes that dream will never materialize.
Drake (David Nykl) and Madeleine (Lori Triolo) are a wealthy married couple whose marriage and its problems all revolve around money.
Nick (Randal Edwards) and Christy (Siobhan Williams) are newlyweds who have only been married for three days and have done nothing but argue
Joe Wells (Dan Payne) is the only local and is separated from his wife Mary (Allison Hossack), largely because of their differing views on how to manage their autistic son, Matt (Valin Shinyei) who runs away from his babysitter and walks through the storm to the church under his own steam.
Together the group must learn how to manage through the various dilemmas they face by working together.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER - THE NIGHT BEFORE THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
The Night Before The Night Before Christmas is a crazy Christmas fantasy for all the family, brimming with festive spirit.
Santa (R.D. Reid) sets off on his Christmas duties a day early, but ends up crashing into the Fox family's house where he not only loses his memory but also his magic sack of presents.
If ever Santa needed help it was now but the modern and broken Fox family are scarcely up to the task.
The parents Angela (Jennifer Beals) and Wayne (Rick Roberts) are preoccupied with work and the kids Toby (Gage Munroe) and Hannah (Rebecca Williams) aren't particularly festive.
But the clock is ticking so it's up to them to help Santa find his magical bag of toys and or Christmas will be ruined so they are forced to set their own petty problems aside and work together and rediscover how much they enjoy being together and realise that maybe they need to reprioritise their lives.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – LUCKY CHRISTMAS
Holly Caroni (Elizabeth Berkley) is a terminally unlucky single mother and wonders if her luck will ever change but as Christmas approaches she buys a lottery ticket.
And her luck does appear to change when she wins a million dollars but she is soon brought down to earth when she realises her winning lottery ticket is in the glove compartment of her recently stolen car.
Harmless construction workers Joe (Mike Bell) and Mike (Jason Gray-Stanford) are behind the theft of the Holly’s car at the end of a drunken evening.
So Mike comes up with a master plan to befriend Holly so he can return the ticket discreetly but he unexpectedly falls in love with Holly and learns there are more important things in life than quick money in time for the holidays.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – DECK THE HALLS (2006)
Optometrist Steve Finch (Matthew Broderick) loves the all the Christmas family traditions he has developed over the years in the town of Cloverdale, Massachusetts.
In fact he is a bit obsessive about it and has a schedule of activities for his wife Kelly (Kristin Davis) and children Madison (Alia Shawkat) and Carter (Dylan Blue) starting on December 1st.
Steve is proud to be the go to guy for anything Christmas related in the town at Christmas.
Then the Halls move in to the house across the street and they are cut from very different cloth.
Buddy Hall (Danny DeVito) is a salesman who can sell anything and soon becomes the new go to guy in town for all things Christmas.
His wife Tia (Kristin Chenoweth) and twin daughters Ashley and Emily (Kelly and Sabrina Aldridge) quickly become friends with their counterparts in the Finch household but Steve and Buddy are soon butting heads.
Which only gets worse when Buddy becomes obsessed with decorating his house with so many lights that it will be visible from space.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – JINGLE ALL THE WAY
Howard Langston (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a salesman for a mattress company and is very busy with his job and constantly lets down his son, so with Christmas coming he is determined to get him the must have toy for Christmas which is an action figure of his son's television hero, Turbo Man.
Unfortunately for Howard, he leaves it until Christmas Eve and every store is sold out of Turbo Man figures so Howard has to schlepp all over town and compete with every other tardy father including a mail man named Myron Larabee (Sinbad) to find a Turbo Man action figure.
A great slapstick free for all ensues and climaxes at the Wintertainment parade which will feature Turbo Man himself.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – MR MIRACLE
On his first time in human form a trainee Guardian Angel Harry Mills (Rob Morrow) has to pose as an English teacher to help a young woman, Addie Folsom (Britt Irvin) to find the confidence to change her life before Christmas.
If he fails Harry can say goodbye forever to his own Earthly existence.
Along the way he’s got a lot to learn about life as a human with the help of his seasoned heavenly mentor, Celeste (Michelle Harrison).
After her father’s sudden passing, Addie is living with her mom Sharon (Sarah-Jane Redmond), while attempting to finish her degree.
The important story revolves around her childhood nemesis and neighbour, Erich (Andrew Francis).
As Harry bumbles his way along as her teacher he constantly comes up against the principle Mr. Conceito (Malcolm Stewart) with amusing results.
And while helping Addie to see the wonderful things she can’t see in herself while learning a few life lessons of his own along the way.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT
I would have to admit that this is not a conventional Christmas tale but it is a rather good one nonetheless.
Samantha Caine (Geena Davis) is mother to 8 year old daughter Caitlin (Yvonne Zima) living in Honesdale, PA.
Samantha has a job teaching school and a boyfriend and is singularly unremarkable but for the fact that she had no memory of her life before she awoke from a coma eight years earlier.
But when she received a bump on her head in a car accident she begins to remember small parts of her previous life.
Along with a bargain basement private investigator, Mitch (Samuel L. Jackson) she digs deeper.
As a result she remembers more and more of her previous life until finally she finds out she is really Charly Baltimore a deadly assassin.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – DEFENDING SANTA
Sheriff Scott Hanson (Dean Cain) is responding to the report of a broken down vehicle on Christmas Eve and stumbles upon a sleeping Santa in the snowy woods.
Kris Kringle (Bill Lewis) then spends nearly a year in a coma and when he awakes he is put on trial to defend his identity before he can find his sleigh and get back to the North Pole.
With Christmas in doubt the small ski resort town has to learn to "believe" and Sheriff Hanson, a dad and widower, begins to fall for Santa's court-appointed defence attorney, Sarah (Jud Tylor).
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – ARTHUR CHRISTMAS
Arthur Christmas is the animated tale about Santa's clumsy son Arthur.
Contrary to Popular belief it turns out that Santa’s North Pole operation isn’t just a handful of artisan elf’s and a fat guy in a red suit making toys its actually an exhilarating ultra-high-tech operation hidden beneath the North Pole and run by the Christmas family.
And it’s a family business although it’s a family in a constant state of comic dysfunction and clumsy Arthur turns out to be an unlikely hero who gets put on an urgent mission with his father that must be completed before Christmas morning dawns and that mission is to give out a present they misplaced to a young girl in less than 2 hours.
Arthur is voiced by James McAvoy, with Jim Broadbent and Imelda Staunton as his parents, Hugh Laurie as his brother Steve and Bill Nighy as Grand Santa although my favourite was Bryony and the vocal talents of Ashley Jensen.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CRAZY FOR CHRISTMAS
On Christmas Eve, Shannon McManus-Johnson (Andrea Roth) a chauffeur and single mother, has to leave her son Trevor (Jason Spevack) with a babysitter as she is stuck driving around a wealthy and eccentric client Fred Nickells (Howard Hesseman) who is giving away large sums of money, literally throwing dollars in the air wherever he goes.
The rich man’s actions obviously attract the attentions of the media and as the story proceeds, conflict ensues after a reporter Peter Archer (Yannick Bisson) interviews Fred and we learn a secret he has been keeping for a long time.
Christmas Poem Selection # 10
ARE YOU WEARING PLAITS?
Are you wearing plaits?
Seriously though are you
You’re going to wear plaits
To the annual Christmas do
And dressed as a milk maid
Perhaps Scandinavian born
You look like you’re dressed
For 1970s porn
BOXING DAY MORNING
If you wake up and feel like hell,
And if you really feel quite unwell
Then that is the best way for you to tell
That you really did Christmas well
CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY
Well I think it has happened
It is my darkest fear
Christmas is getting earlier
Each and every year
When I was at the mall today
I heard Bing Crosby croon
“White Christmas”
And it’s still only June
CHRISTMAS GREETINGS
This is the happy season
Of peace and goodwill
And joy to the world
Let good rule over ill
Merry Christmas world
From here to Brazil
Joy to the entire world
For peace is Gods will
CHRISTMAS OVER INDULGENCE
There isn’t any doubt or question
What caused this awful indigestion?
It wasn’t the five course lunch
Or all the sweets we had to munch
It wasn’t the Lager the Stout or the Shandy
It wasn’t the Wine the Scotch or the Brandy
No the culprit with out any doubts
Was the obligatory spoonful of sprouts
BY CAR, BY PLANE, BY TRAIN
They make the journey each year
By car, by plane, by train,
Travelling across the miles
To spend Christmas at home again
I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL CHRISTMAS
I can’t wait until Christmas
I just want to let you know
You have all my love
This Christmas tied up with a bow
BLESSED IS THE HOLY SEASON
Blessed is the holy season
Jesus Christ is the reason
Let the garlands be unfurled
For a gift of love unto the world
WHEN THE GIFTS HAVE ALL BEEN OPENED
When the gifts have all been opened
And the season starts to wane
When December days have passed by
And a New Year starts again
Let’s pack away the decorations
But let the love and peace remain
THE CROWDS ARE BUSTLING
The crowds are bustling
On the busy Christmas streets
The throng is blustering
In search of Christmas treats
Tills are ringing out their Christmas song
In the markets and the shopping mall
Everyone gets a piece of the action
Street traders, vendors, buskers and all
MERRY CHRISTMAS, MERRY CHRISTMAS
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,
I hear the bell chimes
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,
The best of all times
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,
The old and the new
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,
Merry Christmas to you
ALL ACROSS THIS COUNTRY
All across this country
All across this land
All across the world
His route is carefully planned
To keep ahead of the sun
To miss the no fly zones
Avoid the passenger planes
And steer clear of traffic cones
He must carefully time his mission
To a schedule carefully trialled
To ensure its full success
And not disappoint a single child
ARE YOU WEARING MISTLETOE?
Are you wearing Mistletoe?
I don’t mind kissing you below
Your little sprig of mistletoe
But you’re wearing it quite low
I LOVE THE SMELLS OF CHRISTMAS
I love the smells of Christmas
Like Cinnamon and Ginger
Roasted chestnuts piping hot
Gluhwein and Pine needles
So I feel sorry for the snowmen
As they can only smell carrot
CHRISTMAS
Christ the lord
Holy birth in Bethlehem
Regal child in David’s city
Infant of God
Sent from heaven above
To die for us
Messiah in a manger
Angelic miracle
Saviour of man
WE HAVE THE SAME CHRISTMAS WINE
We have the same Christmas wine
Every year on Christmas day
“I don't want any Brussels sprouts”
The family all shrilly say
Are you wearing plaits?
Seriously though are you
You’re going to wear plaits
To the annual Christmas do
And dressed as a milk maid
Perhaps Scandinavian born
You look like you’re dressed
For 1970s porn
BOXING DAY MORNING
If you wake up and feel like hell,
And if you really feel quite unwell
Then that is the best way for you to tell
That you really did Christmas well
CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY
Well I think it has happened
It is my darkest fear
Christmas is getting earlier
Each and every year
When I was at the mall today
I heard Bing Crosby croon
“White Christmas”
And it’s still only June
CHRISTMAS GREETINGS
This is the happy season
Of peace and goodwill
And joy to the world
Let good rule over ill
Merry Christmas world
From here to Brazil
Joy to the entire world
For peace is Gods will
CHRISTMAS OVER INDULGENCE
There isn’t any doubt or question
What caused this awful indigestion?
It wasn’t the five course lunch
Or all the sweets we had to munch
It wasn’t the Lager the Stout or the Shandy
It wasn’t the Wine the Scotch or the Brandy
No the culprit with out any doubts
Was the obligatory spoonful of sprouts
BY CAR, BY PLANE, BY TRAIN
They make the journey each year
By car, by plane, by train,
Travelling across the miles
To spend Christmas at home again
I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL CHRISTMAS
I can’t wait until Christmas
I just want to let you know
You have all my love
This Christmas tied up with a bow
BLESSED IS THE HOLY SEASON
Blessed is the holy season
Jesus Christ is the reason
Let the garlands be unfurled
For a gift of love unto the world
WHEN THE GIFTS HAVE ALL BEEN OPENED
When the gifts have all been opened
And the season starts to wane
When December days have passed by
And a New Year starts again
Let’s pack away the decorations
But let the love and peace remain
THE CROWDS ARE BUSTLING
The crowds are bustling
On the busy Christmas streets
The throng is blustering
In search of Christmas treats
Tills are ringing out their Christmas song
In the markets and the shopping mall
Everyone gets a piece of the action
Street traders, vendors, buskers and all
MERRY CHRISTMAS, MERRY CHRISTMAS
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,
I hear the bell chimes
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,
The best of all times
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,
The old and the new
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,
Merry Christmas to you
ALL ACROSS THIS COUNTRY
All across this country
All across this land
All across the world
His route is carefully planned
To keep ahead of the sun
To miss the no fly zones
Avoid the passenger planes
And steer clear of traffic cones
He must carefully time his mission
To a schedule carefully trialled
To ensure its full success
And not disappoint a single child
ARE YOU WEARING MISTLETOE?
Are you wearing Mistletoe?
I don’t mind kissing you below
Your little sprig of mistletoe
But you’re wearing it quite low
I LOVE THE SMELLS OF CHRISTMAS
I love the smells of Christmas
Like Cinnamon and Ginger
Roasted chestnuts piping hot
Gluhwein and Pine needles
So I feel sorry for the snowmen
As they can only smell carrot
CHRISTMAS
Christ the lord
Holy birth in Bethlehem
Regal child in David’s city
Infant of God
Sent from heaven above
To die for us
Messiah in a manger
Angelic miracle
Saviour of man
WE HAVE THE SAME CHRISTMAS WINE
We have the same Christmas wine
Every year on Christmas day
“I don't want any Brussels sprouts”
The family all shrilly say
Wednesday 21 December 2016
Have yourself a very naughty Christmas # 1
BAD SANTA # 1
Bad Santa is a bit of a perve
For the girls with a bit of curve
And he think that the naughty list
Is really more like his to-do list
ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS KNICKS?
Are you wearing Christmas knicks?
Proper novelty underwear
All festively decked down below
In a suitably seasonal pair
It doesn’t matter the decor
It will make an old man stare
Just you in your Christmas knickers
What wonderful Christmas fare
MRS CLAUS WAS COURTED
Mrs Claus was courted
By Santa and a man called Ray
Ray was a flash Harry
Who drove a red Chevrolet
Well it was no contest
At the end of the day
Because although he had a fast car
Santa had a faster sleigh
WHEN CHRISTMAS DAY WAS OVER # 1
When Christmas Day was over
Mrs Claus needed a release
It was a very stressful time
Spreading good will and peace
So as soon as Santa was rested
She always liked to have a bit
And more often than not
They’d go and do it in the sleigh
SNOWMAN
What a lovely snowman
Big and round and tall
There isn’t anything I like better
Really nothing at all
It’s the first thing I look for
As soon as the snow falls
It’s definitely a snowman
See it has “Snow balls”
THE BIG FELLA’S R & R
After circumnavigating the globe
Staring at the back end of Prancer
Santa Claus really looks forward
To watching a north pole dancer
SANTA CLAUS IS IN TROUBLE
Santa Claus is in trouble
He’s been up to his old tricks again
When the Christmas fairy was found
Licking his candy cane
I EAT EVERYTHING
I love Christmas
The naughty and nice
I eat absolutely everything
Until I pay the price
And I make a Yule log
That I have to flush twice
SANTA’S HELPER
Santa has helpers at Christmas
To get him through the season
Then he rests pretty much until Easter
He claims fatigue is the reason
And he is unable to fulfil his duties
Satisfying his cute little yelper
So he bought Mrs Claus a new toy
To make his neglected wife purr
It came with plenty of batteries
It’s known as Santa Big helper
THE BIG FELLA’S R & R AGAIN
After circumnavigating the globe
The reins of his sleigh in his hand
The only thought on his mind
Is his wife’s winter wonderland
WANTED: SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER
It wasn’t efficiency
Santa wanted from his helper
He preferred them to be
A barker and a yelper
But then the vacancy was for
Santa’s slutty little helper
I'VE ALWAYS LOVED MY SANTA # 3
I've always loved my Santa
But you might find this shocking
I’ve never loved him more
Than when his hand is on my stocking
I SAW SANTA CLAUS LAST NIGHT
I saw Santa Claus last night
Messing with a ho ho ho
When he was kissing her
Underneath the camel toe
RUBY THE RED NOSED BIMBO
Ruby the red nosed bimbo
Had a very strawberry nose
And if you ever saw her
You would even say it glows
All of the other bimbos
Used to laugh and call her names.
They never let poor Ruby
Join in any bimbo games.
Then one lonely Christmas Eve
Someone came to play:
Ruby with your nose so bright
Let me grab your tits tonight
Then all the fellas loved her
As they shouted out with glee,
Ruby the red-nosed bimbo
You can now go down on me!
ARE YOU WEARING TINSEL?
Are you wearing tinsel?
Draped about your figure
Like a festive feather boa
Just covering your treasure
How seductive you appear
A little package of pleasure
You dance and prance
So full of vim and vigour
Now let me pull the tinsel
Then you can pull my trigger
Bad Santa is a bit of a perve
For the girls with a bit of curve
And he think that the naughty list
Is really more like his to-do list
ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS KNICKS?
Are you wearing Christmas knicks?
Proper novelty underwear
All festively decked down below
In a suitably seasonal pair
It doesn’t matter the decor
It will make an old man stare
Just you in your Christmas knickers
What wonderful Christmas fare
MRS CLAUS WAS COURTED
Mrs Claus was courted
By Santa and a man called Ray
Ray was a flash Harry
Who drove a red Chevrolet
Well it was no contest
At the end of the day
Because although he had a fast car
Santa had a faster sleigh
WHEN CHRISTMAS DAY WAS OVER # 1
When Christmas Day was over
Mrs Claus needed a release
It was a very stressful time
Spreading good will and peace
So as soon as Santa was rested
She always liked to have a bit
And more often than not
They’d go and do it in the sleigh
SNOWMAN
What a lovely snowman
Big and round and tall
There isn’t anything I like better
Really nothing at all
It’s the first thing I look for
As soon as the snow falls
It’s definitely a snowman
See it has “Snow balls”
THE BIG FELLA’S R & R
After circumnavigating the globe
Staring at the back end of Prancer
Santa Claus really looks forward
To watching a north pole dancer
SANTA CLAUS IS IN TROUBLE
Santa Claus is in trouble
He’s been up to his old tricks again
When the Christmas fairy was found
Licking his candy cane
I EAT EVERYTHING
I love Christmas
The naughty and nice
I eat absolutely everything
Until I pay the price
And I make a Yule log
That I have to flush twice
SANTA’S HELPER
Santa has helpers at Christmas
To get him through the season
Then he rests pretty much until Easter
He claims fatigue is the reason
And he is unable to fulfil his duties
Satisfying his cute little yelper
So he bought Mrs Claus a new toy
To make his neglected wife purr
It came with plenty of batteries
It’s known as Santa Big helper
THE BIG FELLA’S R & R AGAIN
After circumnavigating the globe
The reins of his sleigh in his hand
The only thought on his mind
Is his wife’s winter wonderland
WANTED: SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER
It wasn’t efficiency
Santa wanted from his helper
He preferred them to be
A barker and a yelper
But then the vacancy was for
Santa’s slutty little helper
I'VE ALWAYS LOVED MY SANTA # 3
I've always loved my Santa
But you might find this shocking
I’ve never loved him more
Than when his hand is on my stocking
I SAW SANTA CLAUS LAST NIGHT
I saw Santa Claus last night
Messing with a ho ho ho
When he was kissing her
Underneath the camel toe
RUBY THE RED NOSED BIMBO
Ruby the red nosed bimbo
Had a very strawberry nose
And if you ever saw her
You would even say it glows
All of the other bimbos
Used to laugh and call her names.
They never let poor Ruby
Join in any bimbo games.
Then one lonely Christmas Eve
Someone came to play:
Ruby with your nose so bright
Let me grab your tits tonight
Then all the fellas loved her
As they shouted out with glee,
Ruby the red-nosed bimbo
You can now go down on me!
ARE YOU WEARING TINSEL?
Are you wearing tinsel?
Draped about your figure
Like a festive feather boa
Just covering your treasure
How seductive you appear
A little package of pleasure
You dance and prance
So full of vim and vigour
Now let me pull the tinsel
Then you can pull my trigger
Christmas Movie Reviews # 3
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER - SANTA WHO?
Santa Claus (Leslie Nielsen) takes a recreational flight on the sleight one night and ends up accidentally falling out.
As a result of the fall he is left suffering with amnesia, but as he was dressed in his red suit as Santa Claire Dreyer (Robyn Lively) got him a job in a department store grotto while hard bitten newsman Peter Albright (Steven Eckholdt) tries to find out who he is.
But it takes the innocence of a small child, Claire’s son Zack (Max Morrow) to save Santa and Christmas.
Leslie Nielsen is wonderful as the confused Santa in a very entertaining Christmas tale.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER - A PERFECT CHRISTMAS
Holly Maddux (Claire Coffee) is an advertising executive in New York and dreams of the perfect life, the perfect job, and of course, the perfect man to perfectly sweep her off her feet.
Then one day she comes around after a fall in the street to find the "perfect man" standing over her. And the perfect hunky gentleman helped her up and she hit it off with her new beau immediately.
However Holly soon begins to discover that the pressure to be perfect all the time is not at all as great as she expected.
And perfect Bo (Ryan McPartlin) is nothing more than a mannequin who has come to life and it takes time for her to realise that perfection is much closer to hand than she thought in the shape of photographer Milo Ames (Jeff Ward) and the real love that's been waiting for her all along.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER - A CHRISTMAS ROMANCE
Julia Stonecypher (Olivia Newton-John) is a widowed mother with financial woes who lives on her husband’s farm with her children Emily Rose (Stephanie Sawyer) and Deenie (Chloe Lattanzi).
Just before Christmas in the teeth of a snowstorm, Brian Harding (Gregory Harrison) arrives at the farm to serve a foreclosure notice.
Despite her anger towards the man Julia must come to his aid when he crashes his car in the snow and hits his head.
An uncomfortable atmosphere ensue but as it’s a Christmas story there is a happy ending just around the corner.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER - IF YOU BELIEVE
Susan Stone (Ally Walker) is a proper Bah! Humbug! Character.
She is a young but jaded book editor who has lost the passion and drive that defined her and the girl of her childhood has been replaced by one who is consumed with self-doubt in her abilities.
Susan has all but given up on happiness and is on the verge of losing her job and is fast becoming persona non grata with her only remaining family.
Then out of nowhere, a cheerful, carefree, full of life seven-year-old girl named Suzie (Hayden Panettiere), surprises Susan at her apartment.
As the story unfolds it turns out that little Suzie is the embodiment of Susan's inner child.
She is the Susan she once was all those years ago and she was there to help the lost adult Susan rediscover and recapture the love of life that she had once had but somewhere along the line had lost.
But it is a new author Thom Weller (Tom Amandes) who truly redeems the modern-day Ebenezer Scrooge.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A BRIDE FOR CHRISTMAS
Jessie Patterston (Arielle Kebbel) is on her third fiancé and is about to tie the knot, but despite her white gown and a chapel full of guests waiting for her grand entrance, she gets cold feet again and bypasses the altar and goes out of the back door.
No one is happy, especially not her fiancé Mike (Sage Brocklebank) or her sister and business partner Vivian (Kimberly Sustad)
It was the right choice for her though, because she realized it wasn't true love she felt for him so she vowed to concentrate on her job and her volunteer work at an animal shelter.
Meanwhile, Aiden (Andrew K. Walker) is having a card game with three of his male, married friends. As the only bachelor present and seemingly a confirmed one, he takes on a bet from the others.
It involved getting a woman to say "yes" to his proposal of marriage before Christmas Day.
Obviously the first lovely lady that Aiden casts a serious eye on is Jessie while he is at an art gallery.
But Jessie has sworn off serious relationships until she finds the one but the charming albeit chronically single Aiden comes along and from then on they have a connection and become closer and closer despite Mike’s efforts to break them up but obviously love will out.
This is a lovely Christmas movie and is a must see for romcom fans.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A CHRISTMAS KISS
Wendy Walton (Laura Breckenridge) is the best designer in Boston, unfortunately nobody knows it yet.
So in the hope of kick-starting her career, she left work as the set designer with the local theatre to take a job as an assistant to Priscilla Hall (Elisabeth Röhm), the most prestigious designer in the city, she is however also the biggest bitch in the city and works Wendy around the clock.
And it was on one such occasion at Ms Hall’s apartment building that Wendy found herself trapped in an elevator late one night with an incredibly handsome stranger.
Where she and the mystery man share an impulsive, romantic, life-changing kiss before the doors opened and Wendy ran out, leaving him in her wake.
But after the spontaneous kiss, the struggling designer unwittingly ends up falling in love with the boyfriend of her demanding boss Adam Hughes (Brendan Fehr) a wealthy philanthropist.
She discovers his identity when she answers the door to him at her boss’s apartment, he however does not recognize her, which made things even more awkward for her when Priscila assigns her to decorate his house for a big party at Christmas.
And as Christmas approached the two of them spent more and more time together and Wendy realized she was falling in love with him.
Meanwhile her boss was not only expecting him to propose to her she was actively scheming to ensure it happened, so where would that leave Wendy?
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE CHRISTMAS SECRET
Christine Eisley (Bethany Joy Lenz) is a single mom struggling as her life is falling apart.
Her ex-husband Brad (Greyston Holt) won’t pay her child support but is petitioning for custody of the children, Zach (William Ainscough) and Haylie (Jaeda Lily Miller),
On top of which they are being evicted from their home before Christmas and her car is on its last legs.
One day she witnessed an accident and saved a woman’s life by performing CPR and her reward was to lose her job for being late to work.
But when one door closes another opens up and she quickly found another job at Betty’s Bakery, and Betty (Nicola Cavendish) turns out to be a great friend and more.
Fortunately Christine finds a magical family heirloom that leads to love in the form of Jason (John Reardon) and general good fortune during Christmas.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THREE WISE WOMEN
One Christmas a young girl, Ellie (Lauren Coe) witnesses her father having an affair and discovers her boyfriend with another girl on the same night and in her anger and frustration she declares she will never love anybody ever again.
As a result, her guardian angel Tom (Hugh O'Connor) is forced to abandon her.
16 years later the young vivacious Ellie has aged into Liz (Amy Huberman) a successful, thirty-something doctor, driven and cold, who is about to marry a man of similar disposition and doesn't fully realize she is settling for less than she deserves.
Arc Angel Green (John Rhys Davies) reassigns Tom and gives him a second chance as her guardian angel to guide her back to the person she should have become.
Unable to speak to her directly he travels through time and enlists the help of young Ellie and the sad, lonely older woman Beth (Fionnula Flanagan) to steer her in the right direction and to the right man.
It’s a lovely Christmas Tale and just the kind of thing we expect from Hallmark.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER - A DIFFERENT KIND OF CHRISTMAS
It’s the summer and there’s a new Santa in town (Bruce Kirby) and everyone seems to be happy about it with the possible exception of city attorney of Elizabeth Gates (Shelley Long).
But her son Tommy (Nathan Lawrence) is a regular visitor to the street where Santa had turned his home into a kind of year-round Santa Claus castle where children of all ages could come to see the wonderful presents and no child would leave without a gift.
But Elizabeth steps in to make him stop his “commercial' enterprise” in an area zoned for private homes.
Journalist Frank Mallory (Barry Bostwick) is assigned to write a piece about Santa’s philanthropic generosity and the City Attorney’s public action against Santa but he soon discovers she knows more about Santa than she wants to admit.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – MISTLETOE OVER MANHATTAN
Workaholic Santa Claus (Mairtin O’Carrigan) was exhausted and overwhelmed with the demands of modern children and his wife Rebecca (Tedde Moore) sensed her husband was losing his Christmas spirit.
So believing she can help him recapture his bliss Mrs Clause secretly heads to the one place she knows that the spirit of Christmas must still exist, New York City, which was where she first fell in love with her husband Nick.
However New York was a very different place to the one she remembered and she was beginning to have doubts herself until in a crowded diner, Rebecca befriends a caring cop Joe (Greg Bryk), who was worried about her.
He reveals to her that he and his wife Lucy (Tricia Helfer) were in the middle of a divorce. Rebecca sensed that Joe was still very much in love with his wife, and agreed to work temporarily as the family’s nanny until Christmas.
Rebecca’s hope was that by healing Joe and Lucy’s family, she would show Santa that Christmas miracles are still possible and his job was as valuable as ever.
Santa Claus (Leslie Nielsen) takes a recreational flight on the sleight one night and ends up accidentally falling out.
As a result of the fall he is left suffering with amnesia, but as he was dressed in his red suit as Santa Claire Dreyer (Robyn Lively) got him a job in a department store grotto while hard bitten newsman Peter Albright (Steven Eckholdt) tries to find out who he is.
But it takes the innocence of a small child, Claire’s son Zack (Max Morrow) to save Santa and Christmas.
Leslie Nielsen is wonderful as the confused Santa in a very entertaining Christmas tale.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER - A PERFECT CHRISTMAS
Holly Maddux (Claire Coffee) is an advertising executive in New York and dreams of the perfect life, the perfect job, and of course, the perfect man to perfectly sweep her off her feet.
Then one day she comes around after a fall in the street to find the "perfect man" standing over her. And the perfect hunky gentleman helped her up and she hit it off with her new beau immediately.
However Holly soon begins to discover that the pressure to be perfect all the time is not at all as great as she expected.
And perfect Bo (Ryan McPartlin) is nothing more than a mannequin who has come to life and it takes time for her to realise that perfection is much closer to hand than she thought in the shape of photographer Milo Ames (Jeff Ward) and the real love that's been waiting for her all along.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER - A CHRISTMAS ROMANCE
Julia Stonecypher (Olivia Newton-John) is a widowed mother with financial woes who lives on her husband’s farm with her children Emily Rose (Stephanie Sawyer) and Deenie (Chloe Lattanzi).
Just before Christmas in the teeth of a snowstorm, Brian Harding (Gregory Harrison) arrives at the farm to serve a foreclosure notice.
Despite her anger towards the man Julia must come to his aid when he crashes his car in the snow and hits his head.
An uncomfortable atmosphere ensue but as it’s a Christmas story there is a happy ending just around the corner.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER - IF YOU BELIEVE
Susan Stone (Ally Walker) is a proper Bah! Humbug! Character.
She is a young but jaded book editor who has lost the passion and drive that defined her and the girl of her childhood has been replaced by one who is consumed with self-doubt in her abilities.
Susan has all but given up on happiness and is on the verge of losing her job and is fast becoming persona non grata with her only remaining family.
Then out of nowhere, a cheerful, carefree, full of life seven-year-old girl named Suzie (Hayden Panettiere), surprises Susan at her apartment.
As the story unfolds it turns out that little Suzie is the embodiment of Susan's inner child.
She is the Susan she once was all those years ago and she was there to help the lost adult Susan rediscover and recapture the love of life that she had once had but somewhere along the line had lost.
But it is a new author Thom Weller (Tom Amandes) who truly redeems the modern-day Ebenezer Scrooge.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A BRIDE FOR CHRISTMAS
Jessie Patterston (Arielle Kebbel) is on her third fiancé and is about to tie the knot, but despite her white gown and a chapel full of guests waiting for her grand entrance, she gets cold feet again and bypasses the altar and goes out of the back door.
No one is happy, especially not her fiancé Mike (Sage Brocklebank) or her sister and business partner Vivian (Kimberly Sustad)
It was the right choice for her though, because she realized it wasn't true love she felt for him so she vowed to concentrate on her job and her volunteer work at an animal shelter.
Meanwhile, Aiden (Andrew K. Walker) is having a card game with three of his male, married friends. As the only bachelor present and seemingly a confirmed one, he takes on a bet from the others.
It involved getting a woman to say "yes" to his proposal of marriage before Christmas Day.
Obviously the first lovely lady that Aiden casts a serious eye on is Jessie while he is at an art gallery.
But Jessie has sworn off serious relationships until she finds the one but the charming albeit chronically single Aiden comes along and from then on they have a connection and become closer and closer despite Mike’s efforts to break them up but obviously love will out.
This is a lovely Christmas movie and is a must see for romcom fans.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A CHRISTMAS KISS
Wendy Walton (Laura Breckenridge) is the best designer in Boston, unfortunately nobody knows it yet.
So in the hope of kick-starting her career, she left work as the set designer with the local theatre to take a job as an assistant to Priscilla Hall (Elisabeth Röhm), the most prestigious designer in the city, she is however also the biggest bitch in the city and works Wendy around the clock.
And it was on one such occasion at Ms Hall’s apartment building that Wendy found herself trapped in an elevator late one night with an incredibly handsome stranger.
Where she and the mystery man share an impulsive, romantic, life-changing kiss before the doors opened and Wendy ran out, leaving him in her wake.
But after the spontaneous kiss, the struggling designer unwittingly ends up falling in love with the boyfriend of her demanding boss Adam Hughes (Brendan Fehr) a wealthy philanthropist.
She discovers his identity when she answers the door to him at her boss’s apartment, he however does not recognize her, which made things even more awkward for her when Priscila assigns her to decorate his house for a big party at Christmas.
And as Christmas approached the two of them spent more and more time together and Wendy realized she was falling in love with him.
Meanwhile her boss was not only expecting him to propose to her she was actively scheming to ensure it happened, so where would that leave Wendy?
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE CHRISTMAS SECRET
Christine Eisley (Bethany Joy Lenz) is a single mom struggling as her life is falling apart.
Her ex-husband Brad (Greyston Holt) won’t pay her child support but is petitioning for custody of the children, Zach (William Ainscough) and Haylie (Jaeda Lily Miller),
On top of which they are being evicted from their home before Christmas and her car is on its last legs.
One day she witnessed an accident and saved a woman’s life by performing CPR and her reward was to lose her job for being late to work.
But when one door closes another opens up and she quickly found another job at Betty’s Bakery, and Betty (Nicola Cavendish) turns out to be a great friend and more.
Fortunately Christine finds a magical family heirloom that leads to love in the form of Jason (John Reardon) and general good fortune during Christmas.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THREE WISE WOMEN
One Christmas a young girl, Ellie (Lauren Coe) witnesses her father having an affair and discovers her boyfriend with another girl on the same night and in her anger and frustration she declares she will never love anybody ever again.
As a result, her guardian angel Tom (Hugh O'Connor) is forced to abandon her.
16 years later the young vivacious Ellie has aged into Liz (Amy Huberman) a successful, thirty-something doctor, driven and cold, who is about to marry a man of similar disposition and doesn't fully realize she is settling for less than she deserves.
Arc Angel Green (John Rhys Davies) reassigns Tom and gives him a second chance as her guardian angel to guide her back to the person she should have become.
Unable to speak to her directly he travels through time and enlists the help of young Ellie and the sad, lonely older woman Beth (Fionnula Flanagan) to steer her in the right direction and to the right man.
It’s a lovely Christmas Tale and just the kind of thing we expect from Hallmark.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER - A DIFFERENT KIND OF CHRISTMAS
It’s the summer and there’s a new Santa in town (Bruce Kirby) and everyone seems to be happy about it with the possible exception of city attorney of Elizabeth Gates (Shelley Long).
But her son Tommy (Nathan Lawrence) is a regular visitor to the street where Santa had turned his home into a kind of year-round Santa Claus castle where children of all ages could come to see the wonderful presents and no child would leave without a gift.
But Elizabeth steps in to make him stop his “commercial' enterprise” in an area zoned for private homes.
Journalist Frank Mallory (Barry Bostwick) is assigned to write a piece about Santa’s philanthropic generosity and the City Attorney’s public action against Santa but he soon discovers she knows more about Santa than she wants to admit.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – MISTLETOE OVER MANHATTAN
Workaholic Santa Claus (Mairtin O’Carrigan) was exhausted and overwhelmed with the demands of modern children and his wife Rebecca (Tedde Moore) sensed her husband was losing his Christmas spirit.
So believing she can help him recapture his bliss Mrs Clause secretly heads to the one place she knows that the spirit of Christmas must still exist, New York City, which was where she first fell in love with her husband Nick.
However New York was a very different place to the one she remembered and she was beginning to have doubts herself until in a crowded diner, Rebecca befriends a caring cop Joe (Greg Bryk), who was worried about her.
He reveals to her that he and his wife Lucy (Tricia Helfer) were in the middle of a divorce. Rebecca sensed that Joe was still very much in love with his wife, and agreed to work temporarily as the family’s nanny until Christmas.
Rebecca’s hope was that by healing Joe and Lucy’s family, she would show Santa that Christmas miracles are still possible and his job was as valuable as ever.
Christmas Poem Selection # 9
ARE YOU WEARING A SANTA HAT?
Are you wearing a Santa hat?
A festive little “tit for tat”
Well it really does suit
In fact you look very cute
Are you wearing it for fun?
Or do you have it set at anyone?
I think it looks very twee
I wish you were wearing it for me
UKIP ADVENT CALENDAR # 2
You can now buy a UKIP
Advent calendar
I’ve never seen one before
I don’t know what message is inside
Because for some reason
All you can hear is a slamming door
YOU’RE MY CHRISTMAS ANGEL
You’re my Christmas angel
You’re my very own Christmas delight.
Please stay with me tonight
REMEMBRANCE SHINES
Remembrance shines most
Bright, like the Christmas candle light,
During the Christmas rite
KEEP THE SPIRIT
Try to keep the spirit
Of Christmas true in your heart
Every day of the year
CHRISTMAS WISHES JUST FOR YOU
Christmas wishes just for you
Sent with love, tried and true
I send you love, I send you cheer,
I just wish we weren’t apart this year
MARIE CHRISTMAS
Marie Christmas
Loved the season
And she loved it
For a special reason
For it was the time
She would see her beau
As he flew his sleigh
Going ho ho ho
IF ANYONE LOVED CHRISTMAS
If anyone loved Christmas
Then it would be Molly
She loved the mistletoe
She loved the holly
She loved drinking eggnog
She loved feeling jolly
And between me and you
Mr Jolly liked it too
CHRISTMAS FELICITATIONS
Merry Christmas,
Good will to all men,
The festive season
Is with us once again,
The special holy day
Is growing very near
So Merry Christmas
And a Happy New Year
COLD CHRISTMAS
I can’t believe you did it
How typically bold
Dumping me at Christmas
How awfully cold
Still on the bright side
I won’t have to strain and heave
Rushing to find a gift
For you on Christmas Eve
I won’t spend the season
Living like a monk
I’ll be very merry
If not drunk as a skunk
But I can’t believe you did it
It’s a really shitty thing to do
Dumping me at Christmas
How typical of you
It’s probably for the best
So I won’t shed a tear
Have a merry Christmas
And a really shit New Year
CHRISTMAS CARD SELECTION
I bought a bumper selection
Of Christmas cards today
One hundred assorted cards
A real bargain I would say
But not a shepherd or angel
Nor a stable, a star or a king
Not a holy word of praise
No Jesus, no God not a thing
I told my wife of my disgust
She said not to make a fuss
But they had managed to take
Christ out of Christmas
ARE YOU WEARING A FESTIVE JUMPER?
Are you wearing a Festive Jumper?
Well its contents are rather bumper
It’s an interesting design you chose
I particularly like Rudolph’s nose
WHY DID THE TURKEY CROSS THE ROAD? # 1
Why did the turkey cross the road?
There was a very simple reason
It was due to a lack of options for a Turkey
During the Christmas season
GOOD KING WENCESLAS ORDERED OUT
Good King Wenceslas ordered out
On the feast of Stephen
An eighteen slice with extra cheese
Deep pan, crisp and even
SANTA'S FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG
Santa's favorite Christmas song
That he sings repeatedly
Is Santa Claus is coming to town
Sung by Elfish Presley
Are you wearing a Santa hat?
A festive little “tit for tat”
Well it really does suit
In fact you look very cute
Are you wearing it for fun?
Or do you have it set at anyone?
I think it looks very twee
I wish you were wearing it for me
UKIP ADVENT CALENDAR # 2
You can now buy a UKIP
Advent calendar
I’ve never seen one before
I don’t know what message is inside
Because for some reason
All you can hear is a slamming door
YOU’RE MY CHRISTMAS ANGEL
You’re my Christmas angel
You’re my very own Christmas delight.
Please stay with me tonight
REMEMBRANCE SHINES
Remembrance shines most
Bright, like the Christmas candle light,
During the Christmas rite
KEEP THE SPIRIT
Try to keep the spirit
Of Christmas true in your heart
Every day of the year
CHRISTMAS WISHES JUST FOR YOU
Christmas wishes just for you
Sent with love, tried and true
I send you love, I send you cheer,
I just wish we weren’t apart this year
MARIE CHRISTMAS
Marie Christmas
Loved the season
And she loved it
For a special reason
For it was the time
She would see her beau
As he flew his sleigh
Going ho ho ho
IF ANYONE LOVED CHRISTMAS
If anyone loved Christmas
Then it would be Molly
She loved the mistletoe
She loved the holly
She loved drinking eggnog
She loved feeling jolly
And between me and you
Mr Jolly liked it too
CHRISTMAS FELICITATIONS
Merry Christmas,
Good will to all men,
The festive season
Is with us once again,
The special holy day
Is growing very near
So Merry Christmas
And a Happy New Year
COLD CHRISTMAS
I can’t believe you did it
How typically bold
Dumping me at Christmas
How awfully cold
Still on the bright side
I won’t have to strain and heave
Rushing to find a gift
For you on Christmas Eve
I won’t spend the season
Living like a monk
I’ll be very merry
If not drunk as a skunk
But I can’t believe you did it
It’s a really shitty thing to do
Dumping me at Christmas
How typical of you
It’s probably for the best
So I won’t shed a tear
Have a merry Christmas
And a really shit New Year
CHRISTMAS CARD SELECTION
I bought a bumper selection
Of Christmas cards today
One hundred assorted cards
A real bargain I would say
But not a shepherd or angel
Nor a stable, a star or a king
Not a holy word of praise
No Jesus, no God not a thing
I told my wife of my disgust
She said not to make a fuss
But they had managed to take
Christ out of Christmas
ARE YOU WEARING A FESTIVE JUMPER?
Are you wearing a Festive Jumper?
Well its contents are rather bumper
It’s an interesting design you chose
I particularly like Rudolph’s nose
WHY DID THE TURKEY CROSS THE ROAD? # 1
Why did the turkey cross the road?
There was a very simple reason
It was due to a lack of options for a Turkey
During the Christmas season
GOOD KING WENCESLAS ORDERED OUT
Good King Wenceslas ordered out
On the feast of Stephen
An eighteen slice with extra cheese
Deep pan, crisp and even
SANTA'S FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG
Santa's favorite Christmas song
That he sings repeatedly
Is Santa Claus is coming to town
Sung by Elfish Presley
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