CRIMBO
Bunting and frolic
Candles and smells
Garlands and gaiety
Baubles and bells
The holly and the ivy
Sprigs of mistletoe
Cookies and eggnog
Have a happy Crimbo
WITH EXPECTANT FACES FULL OF SMILES
With expectant faces full of smiles
The children sit around the tree
Waiting to get amongst the gifts
And wondering “What’s Santa got for me”
Eagerly the children sit by the tree
Their expectant smiling faces all aglow
Waiting to get amongst the gifts
On the moment when Nan says “go”
DECK THE HALLS WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY
Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
I’ll spend Christmas time with Molly
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
It should be the season to be jolly
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
But I’ve just realized my folly
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
Stab me in the heart with holly
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Dad has run away with Molly
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Stuff the turkeys arse with holly
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
Theres no reason to be jolly,
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
I LOVE THE FESTIVE SEASON
I love the festive season
When it’s cold and freezing
Then my favourite thing to do
Is to cuddle up close to you
ARE YOU WEARING IT THE RIGHT WAY?
Are you wearing it the right way?
I heard the pretty girl say
Should it be tied like so?
For kissing under the mistletoe
Am I showing my naïveté?
In the most embarrassing way
It’s just that I kind of felt
It shouldn’t be tied on your belt
KEEP CHRISTMAS WELL
Keep Christmas well
Embrace its spirit
Feel its warmth and joy
Hold it in your heart
And keep its embers alight
Carry it with you
From one year to the next
So it will never end
FAMILY CHRISTMASES
When I think back to those Christmases
I and my brothers and sisters shared
And all the love that filled the house
When no other time quite compared
I realized just how lucky we all were
Lucky we had a family that truly cared
Who gave us love and now that I am older
I make sure that love is liberally shared
THE BLESSED SEASON
God richly blesses us
The Good Lord fulfils us
And bestows love upon us
This and every Christmas
DARLING I LOVE YOU
Each and every day
I say these words to you
Darling I love you
Then every Christmas
I say these words to you
Merry Christmas Darling I love you
And every New Year
I say these words to you
Happy New Year Darling I love you
And every time I say it
You look at me and say
Whatever
I'VE ALWAYS LOVED MY SANTA # 1
I've always loved my Santa
In his Red Velvet suit
With his long white beard
And cheeks all rosy and cute
His deep throated laughter
All happy and jolly
And he loves his naughty
Little Miss Molly
THIS WISH, I WISH
This wish I wish,
Is a wish for you,
The wish is for me
The wish is for you
The wish, I wish
Is a wish for you,
Don’t you see?
The wish is for you
That’s what I wish
I wish only for you
THE GREAT STAR OF LIGHT
The great star of light
Graced the nativity
Where the holy family,
Mary and her child
And the Noble Joseph
Dwelt in the humble stall
The beasts in the stable
The Kings of the east
And shepherds from the hill
Witnessed the gift of love
Given by a gracious God
To the sinful world
ORANGES ARE NOT THE ONLY FRUIT
When my Dad was just a boy
He never saw a lemon or Lime
And oranges only ever appeared
In his house at Christmas time
IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE
It’s Christmas Eve
The mood is merry
Listen to the sleigh bells
Here comes Mr C
THE YEAR IS TURNING
The year is turning, the cycle
Has made another revolution
It’s time once more to make
The obligatory resolution
Which is broken within days
But this year I have a solution
In order to make it last
I will not make a resolution
Thursday 29 December 2016
Christmas Movie Reviews # 9
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – SNOWED IN AT ROSEMONT
Twenty three year old Lisa (Ayla Kell) is pregnant and running away from the baby’s father Craig (Lochlyn Munro).
She is travelling on the bus to Denver when she hears that the road ahead is closed due to snow and is going back the way they came.
But at a diner she overhears Brad (Brendan Michael Coughlin), a professional snowboarder, talking to his girlfriend on the phone about his plan to drive over the mountain in his 4 x 4 so she asks for a ride.
They make good progress initially but a blizzard over takes them and Brad's car slams into a snow bank in the middle of the wilderness.
They are forced to seek shelter at the only sign of civilization that they had seen in the last ten miles, the Rosemont Lodge.
Which was once a vibrant year-round resort, but the Rosemont Lodge had been closed for nearly 20 years.
Most of the Lodge has been sealed up and only a corner of the main building shows any sign of habitation.
As they approached the building they are greeted by the lodge's owner, Josephine (Grace Zabriskie), who is brandishing a shotgun, and her retainer Abe (Brad Dourif) who persuades her to let them in out of the snow.
Josephine used to be the heart and soul of the resort, her personality, and her cooking, were as much of an attraction as were the hundreds of acres of pristine mountain wilderness but as a result of personal tragedy she closed the resort and became a recluse.
However having Brad and a heavily pregnant Lisa about the place it has a thawing effect on Josephine and after she and Abe deliver the baby a bond is formed that has a lasting effect.
This is a very enjoyable Christmas tale in which Grace Zabriskie is the absolute star of the show as Josephine but Brad Dourif runs a close second as Abe.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CHRISTMAS IN CONWAY
To most of the inhabitants of Conway, South Carolina, Duncan Mayor (Andy Garcia) is a bad tempered grouch, but to his wife, Suzy Mayor (Mary-Louise Parker) he was a doting pussycat.
And he has more reason than normal to be cranky because Suzy is dying and has arrived home from the hospital to be cared for 24/7 by Nurse Natalie Springer (Mandy Moore), whom Duncan resents for being there and tries his best to ignore her.
He also singles out landscape gardener Tommy Harris (Riley Smith) for special treatment while he is working on the neighbour’s garden.
But Duncan begrudging employs Tommy to help him set up a Ferris Wheel in his own back yard as a special Christmas present for Suzy and the significance of the gift was that it was while riding one many years earlier that Duncan asked Suzy to marry him.
Neighbour Gayle Matthews (Cheri Oteri) is the only fly in the ointment who manages to the construction halted.
But the ex-carnival worker, Henry (Mark Jeffrey Miller), who Duncan bought the Ferris Wheel from comes to the rescue to finish the job with his crew.
This is a wonderful story full of tears and laughter in equal measure and Mary-Louise Parker puts in another trademark performance in a very memorable Christmas story of enduring love.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – LOST LETTER MYSTERIES FOR CHRISTMAS
This is the endearing tale of the postal service’s four musketeers of the Dead Letter Office, the beloved quartet of post office detectives, with a duty to deliver every last letter before Christmas.
Oliver O'Toole (Eric Mabius) and his team, Shane McInerney (Kristin Booth), Rita Haywith (Crystal Lowe) and Norman Dorman (Geoff Gustafson), are working around the clock to redirect Santa’s mail and with the assistance and a little guidance from a mysterious post office volunteer, Jordan (Rob Estes) they clear all the back log by the end of December 23rd.
The whole group then all attend the Christmas formal before they head off on their separate ways to spend their Christmas’s alone where they receive an emotional last-minute plea addressed to God, so they must delay their own travel plans to make sure one little girl doesn’t lose her Christmas joy.
And as they work tirelessly to make the little girl’s wish come true Oliver runs into his former Sunday school teacher (Marion Ross) and the true identity of the mysterious Jordan is revealed and the quartet discover love right under their noses.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – NAUGHTY AND NICE
The Pepper and Spice radio show in Los Angeles was a popular and edgy phone in show but cynical Pepper Sterling (Tilky Jones) over steps the mark and upsets one of the stations major sponsors and is banished to a sister station in rural Colorado town.
He was assigned to co-host a show with a "love doctor" Sandra Love (Haylie Duff), who is a hopeless romantic.
Pepper was unhappy with being second banana on a hick show in the back of beyond and wasn’t backwards in coming forward about letter people know as a result they have a spat live on air which gets them off on the wrong foot and their antagonistic relationship gets the whole town talking.
At first the two mix like oil and water but their on-air bickering becomes popular and, inevitably, they start to like each other and like soon leads to love.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE CHRISTMAS PAGEANT
When temperamental Broadway director Vera Parks (Melissa Gilbert) is fired from yet another job, she has become unemployable in Manhattan so when she gets an offer to direct a Christmas pageant somewhere upstate, she has no alternative but to take the gig.
But she comes into conflict with all the cast, who are all traditionalists, when Vera wants to change everything.
She is also reacquainted with former beau Jack Harmon (Robert Mailhouse) which she was not expecting and the former love is slowly rekindled as the rehearsals continue and then she begins to form relationships with the cast and understanding of each other’s points of views and appreciation of their positions lead to compromises being made.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE HEART OF CHRISTMAS
Julie (Jeanne Neilson) and Austin Locke (Eric Jay Beck) are devastated when they learn their young son, Dax, has cancer.
Their story is told through the eyes of Megan Walsh (Candace Cameron Bure) a busy wife and mother who reads Julie’s blog about the time spent at St Jude’s hospital.
As she reads the blog she learns to put her own life into perspective while the Locke’s have to face the fact that their son is going to die and that he won’t live until Christmas, but with courage, determination and faith, they give Dax one last Christmas, even if it is in October.
You might think the death of a child an unusual component for a Christmas story but far from being morbid it is an uplifting story which makes you think.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER - A SONG FOR THE SEASON
This is a lovely story set during the holiday season, when a stern school administrator Cal Peterson (Gerald McRaney) is sent to review Bethlehem School with a view to cutting costs by any means.
He is accompanied by his teenage niece Fern (Alison Pill) who is now in his care and who, unknown to Cal, is brought alive by the music program
Cal and Fern move in with Cal’s father Jake Peterson (Andy Griffith) which provides another sub plot.
Also Cal despite himself begins to fall for music teacher Lily Waite (Naomi Judd) and following a long review, Cal is forced to conclude that the only way to save the funds is to eliminate the music program.
It is only at the final concert, before Lily must leave her job, the music program is saved by generous donations, and Cal sees Fern perform.
Not a dry eye in the house, wonderful stuff.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A STAR FOR CHRISTMAS
Cassie (Briana Evigan) owns and runs her own Cupcakery which happens to be the only thing that is actually working in Cassie's world, her small town business in fact is a huge success, but her love life on the other hand is a total mess.
She can’t get over her ex-boyfriend Jared (Travis Van Winkle) because she sees him all the time as they have joint custody of the dog.
One day a stranger in the shop announces that she makes the best cupcakes he has ever tasted and the stranger turns out to be a big time Hollywood film director and he is making a movie in town and he wants Cassie to cater for the crew.
She also meets Alex (Corey Sevier) who she thinks is a handyman and employs him to work in the bakery and then her whole universe is turned upside down when she falls in love with him before he is revealed to be the famous and notoriously troubled actor Alex Gray.
Actress Skylar (Brooke Burns) rocks the boat as the femme fatal but Cassie’s best friend Tricia (Karissa Vacker) holds things together in the enjoyable holiday romcom.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – ANGEL DOLLS
Angel Dolls is by far the best Christmas movie of the last 30 years.
It is possessed with all the usual ingredients for a seasonal film, romance, humour, schmaltz, pathos and a strong Christian message but this one has something else, a surprise ending.
And that’s not something that’s easy to pull off in a Christmas movie.
Lynn Brandt (Josie Bissett) is an abused wife who leaves her alcoholic husband Darryl (Russell Porter) on Thanksgiving and moves with her children Thomas (Rustin Gresiuk) and Sara (Farryn Van Humbeck) to another town.
A year later and Lynn is working hard but getting nowhere financially and has to tell her son Thomas that they can’t afford a tree, decorations or presents.
Thomas is already having problems of his own as he’s still the new boy at high school and is being regularly bullied.
Their lives slowly become entwined with another family in trouble Kevin Morrell (Matthew Settle) has a failing business and his wife Jenny (Kendra Anderson) is heavily pregnant.
Thomas and Kevin become friends on the basketball court at a church youth club while Jenny’s pregnancy takes a turn for the worst.
Lynn finds a solution for the lack of Christmas presents and signs up the children for the Paper Angels which allows those on low incomes to write their child’s name and the desired gifts on the back of a Paper Angel hanging on the Christmas Tree at the Mall.
The school bullying soon turns to cyber bullying when another student puts up a Facebook appeal to help a poor kid namely Thomas.
But after he is befriended by popular girl Cassie Bale (Anja Savcic), Thomas uses the cyber bullying to his own advantage and turns the Facebook campaign into a charity collection for the Salvation Army.
Predictably perhaps Kevin gets Thomas’s angel from the tree, but the gifts he asks for are far from predictable.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE ROAD TO CHRISTMAS
After her flight is diverted due to bad weather high-powered fashion photographer Claire Jameson (Jennifer Grey) finds herself stranded in Middle America on the way to her dream Christmas Eve wedding in Aspen.
At the same time the rugged former artist turned teacher, Tom Pullman (Clark Gregg), and his 13-year old daughter Hilly (Megan Park) are on the road to spend Christmas with Grandma.
Claire is unable to get another flight or rent a car and is reduced to begging for a ride.
But Tom and Hilly are well into their road trip before they cross paths with Claire but when they do they kindly offer to take her to Aspen which isn’t far from their destination.
But as they got under way, none of them realized that as their journey was beginning it would lead them to a very different destination to the one they were expecting.
Twenty three year old Lisa (Ayla Kell) is pregnant and running away from the baby’s father Craig (Lochlyn Munro).
She is travelling on the bus to Denver when she hears that the road ahead is closed due to snow and is going back the way they came.
But at a diner she overhears Brad (Brendan Michael Coughlin), a professional snowboarder, talking to his girlfriend on the phone about his plan to drive over the mountain in his 4 x 4 so she asks for a ride.
They make good progress initially but a blizzard over takes them and Brad's car slams into a snow bank in the middle of the wilderness.
They are forced to seek shelter at the only sign of civilization that they had seen in the last ten miles, the Rosemont Lodge.
Which was once a vibrant year-round resort, but the Rosemont Lodge had been closed for nearly 20 years.
Most of the Lodge has been sealed up and only a corner of the main building shows any sign of habitation.
As they approached the building they are greeted by the lodge's owner, Josephine (Grace Zabriskie), who is brandishing a shotgun, and her retainer Abe (Brad Dourif) who persuades her to let them in out of the snow.
Josephine used to be the heart and soul of the resort, her personality, and her cooking, were as much of an attraction as were the hundreds of acres of pristine mountain wilderness but as a result of personal tragedy she closed the resort and became a recluse.
However having Brad and a heavily pregnant Lisa about the place it has a thawing effect on Josephine and after she and Abe deliver the baby a bond is formed that has a lasting effect.
This is a very enjoyable Christmas tale in which Grace Zabriskie is the absolute star of the show as Josephine but Brad Dourif runs a close second as Abe.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CHRISTMAS IN CONWAY
To most of the inhabitants of Conway, South Carolina, Duncan Mayor (Andy Garcia) is a bad tempered grouch, but to his wife, Suzy Mayor (Mary-Louise Parker) he was a doting pussycat.
And he has more reason than normal to be cranky because Suzy is dying and has arrived home from the hospital to be cared for 24/7 by Nurse Natalie Springer (Mandy Moore), whom Duncan resents for being there and tries his best to ignore her.
He also singles out landscape gardener Tommy Harris (Riley Smith) for special treatment while he is working on the neighbour’s garden.
But Duncan begrudging employs Tommy to help him set up a Ferris Wheel in his own back yard as a special Christmas present for Suzy and the significance of the gift was that it was while riding one many years earlier that Duncan asked Suzy to marry him.
Neighbour Gayle Matthews (Cheri Oteri) is the only fly in the ointment who manages to the construction halted.
But the ex-carnival worker, Henry (Mark Jeffrey Miller), who Duncan bought the Ferris Wheel from comes to the rescue to finish the job with his crew.
This is a wonderful story full of tears and laughter in equal measure and Mary-Louise Parker puts in another trademark performance in a very memorable Christmas story of enduring love.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – LOST LETTER MYSTERIES FOR CHRISTMAS
This is the endearing tale of the postal service’s four musketeers of the Dead Letter Office, the beloved quartet of post office detectives, with a duty to deliver every last letter before Christmas.
Oliver O'Toole (Eric Mabius) and his team, Shane McInerney (Kristin Booth), Rita Haywith (Crystal Lowe) and Norman Dorman (Geoff Gustafson), are working around the clock to redirect Santa’s mail and with the assistance and a little guidance from a mysterious post office volunteer, Jordan (Rob Estes) they clear all the back log by the end of December 23rd.
The whole group then all attend the Christmas formal before they head off on their separate ways to spend their Christmas’s alone where they receive an emotional last-minute plea addressed to God, so they must delay their own travel plans to make sure one little girl doesn’t lose her Christmas joy.
And as they work tirelessly to make the little girl’s wish come true Oliver runs into his former Sunday school teacher (Marion Ross) and the true identity of the mysterious Jordan is revealed and the quartet discover love right under their noses.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – NAUGHTY AND NICE
The Pepper and Spice radio show in Los Angeles was a popular and edgy phone in show but cynical Pepper Sterling (Tilky Jones) over steps the mark and upsets one of the stations major sponsors and is banished to a sister station in rural Colorado town.
He was assigned to co-host a show with a "love doctor" Sandra Love (Haylie Duff), who is a hopeless romantic.
Pepper was unhappy with being second banana on a hick show in the back of beyond and wasn’t backwards in coming forward about letter people know as a result they have a spat live on air which gets them off on the wrong foot and their antagonistic relationship gets the whole town talking.
At first the two mix like oil and water but their on-air bickering becomes popular and, inevitably, they start to like each other and like soon leads to love.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE CHRISTMAS PAGEANT
When temperamental Broadway director Vera Parks (Melissa Gilbert) is fired from yet another job, she has become unemployable in Manhattan so when she gets an offer to direct a Christmas pageant somewhere upstate, she has no alternative but to take the gig.
But she comes into conflict with all the cast, who are all traditionalists, when Vera wants to change everything.
She is also reacquainted with former beau Jack Harmon (Robert Mailhouse) which she was not expecting and the former love is slowly rekindled as the rehearsals continue and then she begins to form relationships with the cast and understanding of each other’s points of views and appreciation of their positions lead to compromises being made.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE HEART OF CHRISTMAS
Julie (Jeanne Neilson) and Austin Locke (Eric Jay Beck) are devastated when they learn their young son, Dax, has cancer.
Their story is told through the eyes of Megan Walsh (Candace Cameron Bure) a busy wife and mother who reads Julie’s blog about the time spent at St Jude’s hospital.
As she reads the blog she learns to put her own life into perspective while the Locke’s have to face the fact that their son is going to die and that he won’t live until Christmas, but with courage, determination and faith, they give Dax one last Christmas, even if it is in October.
You might think the death of a child an unusual component for a Christmas story but far from being morbid it is an uplifting story which makes you think.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER - A SONG FOR THE SEASON
This is a lovely story set during the holiday season, when a stern school administrator Cal Peterson (Gerald McRaney) is sent to review Bethlehem School with a view to cutting costs by any means.
He is accompanied by his teenage niece Fern (Alison Pill) who is now in his care and who, unknown to Cal, is brought alive by the music program
Cal and Fern move in with Cal’s father Jake Peterson (Andy Griffith) which provides another sub plot.
Also Cal despite himself begins to fall for music teacher Lily Waite (Naomi Judd) and following a long review, Cal is forced to conclude that the only way to save the funds is to eliminate the music program.
It is only at the final concert, before Lily must leave her job, the music program is saved by generous donations, and Cal sees Fern perform.
Not a dry eye in the house, wonderful stuff.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A STAR FOR CHRISTMAS
Cassie (Briana Evigan) owns and runs her own Cupcakery which happens to be the only thing that is actually working in Cassie's world, her small town business in fact is a huge success, but her love life on the other hand is a total mess.
She can’t get over her ex-boyfriend Jared (Travis Van Winkle) because she sees him all the time as they have joint custody of the dog.
One day a stranger in the shop announces that she makes the best cupcakes he has ever tasted and the stranger turns out to be a big time Hollywood film director and he is making a movie in town and he wants Cassie to cater for the crew.
She also meets Alex (Corey Sevier) who she thinks is a handyman and employs him to work in the bakery and then her whole universe is turned upside down when she falls in love with him before he is revealed to be the famous and notoriously troubled actor Alex Gray.
Actress Skylar (Brooke Burns) rocks the boat as the femme fatal but Cassie’s best friend Tricia (Karissa Vacker) holds things together in the enjoyable holiday romcom.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – ANGEL DOLLS
Angel Dolls is by far the best Christmas movie of the last 30 years.
It is possessed with all the usual ingredients for a seasonal film, romance, humour, schmaltz, pathos and a strong Christian message but this one has something else, a surprise ending.
And that’s not something that’s easy to pull off in a Christmas movie.
Lynn Brandt (Josie Bissett) is an abused wife who leaves her alcoholic husband Darryl (Russell Porter) on Thanksgiving and moves with her children Thomas (Rustin Gresiuk) and Sara (Farryn Van Humbeck) to another town.
A year later and Lynn is working hard but getting nowhere financially and has to tell her son Thomas that they can’t afford a tree, decorations or presents.
Thomas is already having problems of his own as he’s still the new boy at high school and is being regularly bullied.
Their lives slowly become entwined with another family in trouble Kevin Morrell (Matthew Settle) has a failing business and his wife Jenny (Kendra Anderson) is heavily pregnant.
Thomas and Kevin become friends on the basketball court at a church youth club while Jenny’s pregnancy takes a turn for the worst.
Lynn finds a solution for the lack of Christmas presents and signs up the children for the Paper Angels which allows those on low incomes to write their child’s name and the desired gifts on the back of a Paper Angel hanging on the Christmas Tree at the Mall.
The school bullying soon turns to cyber bullying when another student puts up a Facebook appeal to help a poor kid namely Thomas.
But after he is befriended by popular girl Cassie Bale (Anja Savcic), Thomas uses the cyber bullying to his own advantage and turns the Facebook campaign into a charity collection for the Salvation Army.
Predictably perhaps Kevin gets Thomas’s angel from the tree, but the gifts he asks for are far from predictable.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE ROAD TO CHRISTMAS
After her flight is diverted due to bad weather high-powered fashion photographer Claire Jameson (Jennifer Grey) finds herself stranded in Middle America on the way to her dream Christmas Eve wedding in Aspen.
At the same time the rugged former artist turned teacher, Tom Pullman (Clark Gregg), and his 13-year old daughter Hilly (Megan Park) are on the road to spend Christmas with Grandma.
Claire is unable to get another flight or rent a car and is reduced to begging for a ride.
But Tom and Hilly are well into their road trip before they cross paths with Claire but when they do they kindly offer to take her to Aspen which isn’t far from their destination.
But as they got under way, none of them realized that as their journey was beginning it would lead them to a very different destination to the one they were expecting.
Christmas Poem Selection # 17
IT’S SUCH A MILD NEW YEAR
It’s such a mild New Year
All the birds are singing noisily
Noisy little bastards
Should be frozen to a tree
LET’S RAISE A GLASS TO MUM # 2
Let’s raise a glass to Mum
For yet another job well done
And the essence of my reasoning
Is, you are the festive seasoning
For by chasing the blandness away
It’s you who flavours the day
WHATEVER FUTURE GIFTS
Whatever future gifts
That might make me glad
Or any from the past
Including when I was a lad
There is nothing to compare
To the gift of being a Dad
THE BAUBLE AND THE BELL
The bauble and the bell
The tinsel star as well
The angel with its wings
The shepherds and the Kings
The tree’s coloured lights
The tinsel sparkling bright
The garlands hanging high
So pleasing to the eye
These are the things
That Christmas time brings
THE HERALDS OF THE LORD
The heralds of the lord
Sung in one accord
Speaking of a child
So meek and mild
A halo on its curls
A gift to the world
A beacon in the night
Exuding loving light
THE BEST PRESENTS CANNOT BE BOUGHT
The best presents cannot be bought
There is no mall where they can be sought
But if you have sufficiently striven
The best present can be easily given
It resides in you, channelled from above
That most wondrous gift of eternal love
THE BEST PRESENT YOU CAN EVER RECEIVE
The best present you can ever receive
Does not possess any monetary value
Yet is more precious than pure gold
It’s the gift of someone loving you
LEADING UP TO CHRISTMAS DAY
Leading up to Christmas day
Happy Christmas you should say
But so often it goes unsaid,
People say happy holidays instead
CHRISTMAS STAR
I wouldn’t need to look too far
To find the perfect Christmas star
I’d open my eyes and there you are
I don’t have to wish upon a star
To find the perfect Christmas star
Because you're the very best by far
CHRISTMAS IS SPECIAL
Christmas is special
And you are the reason
Your touch adds lustre
To the festive season
YOU LOOK UPON CHRISTMAS
You look upon Christmas
As just another of your duties
And over the years
You’ve given us some beauties
You don’t think that it’s Special
It’s just something that you do
But Christmas doesn’t just happen
It’s made piece by piece by you
Everything that is Christmas
When all said and done
Is completely down to you
So Happy Christmas Mum
DON’T THINK WE HAVEN’T NOTICED
Don’t think we haven’t noticed
Just because we haven’t said
But we know that compliments
Are something that you dread
You’ve made a perfect Christmas
With your own fair hands
You thought of every detail
In your carefully made plans
We’ve enjoyed every moment
All the festivities and fun
So although you’ll be embarrassed
Thanks for Christmas mum
THE NIGHT IS CLEAR
The night is clear
Here! Here!
Can’t you hear?
It’s the reindeer
Santa is near
Let us cheer,
Open a Beer
Christmas is here
I DON'T WANT MUCH FOR CHRISTMAS
I don't want much for Christmas
What I want is quite naïve
And an unrealistic expectation
I just want everybody to be happy
I know it’s a forlorn hope
But miracles do happen at Christmas
NEW YEARS PICKUP # 1
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
On New Year’s Eve
Before the bells begin to clang
Ask her if she wants to
Ring in the New Year with a bang?
It’s such a mild New Year
All the birds are singing noisily
Noisy little bastards
Should be frozen to a tree
LET’S RAISE A GLASS TO MUM # 2
Let’s raise a glass to Mum
For yet another job well done
And the essence of my reasoning
Is, you are the festive seasoning
For by chasing the blandness away
It’s you who flavours the day
WHATEVER FUTURE GIFTS
Whatever future gifts
That might make me glad
Or any from the past
Including when I was a lad
There is nothing to compare
To the gift of being a Dad
THE BAUBLE AND THE BELL
The bauble and the bell
The tinsel star as well
The angel with its wings
The shepherds and the Kings
The tree’s coloured lights
The tinsel sparkling bright
The garlands hanging high
So pleasing to the eye
These are the things
That Christmas time brings
THE HERALDS OF THE LORD
The heralds of the lord
Sung in one accord
Speaking of a child
So meek and mild
A halo on its curls
A gift to the world
A beacon in the night
Exuding loving light
THE BEST PRESENTS CANNOT BE BOUGHT
The best presents cannot be bought
There is no mall where they can be sought
But if you have sufficiently striven
The best present can be easily given
It resides in you, channelled from above
That most wondrous gift of eternal love
THE BEST PRESENT YOU CAN EVER RECEIVE
The best present you can ever receive
Does not possess any monetary value
Yet is more precious than pure gold
It’s the gift of someone loving you
LEADING UP TO CHRISTMAS DAY
Leading up to Christmas day
Happy Christmas you should say
But so often it goes unsaid,
People say happy holidays instead
CHRISTMAS STAR
I wouldn’t need to look too far
To find the perfect Christmas star
I’d open my eyes and there you are
I don’t have to wish upon a star
To find the perfect Christmas star
Because you're the very best by far
CHRISTMAS IS SPECIAL
Christmas is special
And you are the reason
Your touch adds lustre
To the festive season
YOU LOOK UPON CHRISTMAS
You look upon Christmas
As just another of your duties
And over the years
You’ve given us some beauties
You don’t think that it’s Special
It’s just something that you do
But Christmas doesn’t just happen
It’s made piece by piece by you
Everything that is Christmas
When all said and done
Is completely down to you
So Happy Christmas Mum
DON’T THINK WE HAVEN’T NOTICED
Don’t think we haven’t noticed
Just because we haven’t said
But we know that compliments
Are something that you dread
You’ve made a perfect Christmas
With your own fair hands
You thought of every detail
In your carefully made plans
We’ve enjoyed every moment
All the festivities and fun
So although you’ll be embarrassed
Thanks for Christmas mum
THE NIGHT IS CLEAR
The night is clear
Here! Here!
Can’t you hear?
It’s the reindeer
Santa is near
Let us cheer,
Open a Beer
Christmas is here
I DON'T WANT MUCH FOR CHRISTMAS
I don't want much for Christmas
What I want is quite naïve
And an unrealistic expectation
I just want everybody to be happy
I know it’s a forlorn hope
But miracles do happen at Christmas
NEW YEARS PICKUP # 1
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
On New Year’s Eve
Before the bells begin to clang
Ask her if she wants to
Ring in the New Year with a bang?
Wednesday 28 December 2016
Christmas Movie Reviews # 8
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – SMALL TOWN SANTA
On the eve of Christmas, Rockford County Sheriff Rick Langston (Dean Cain) has lost his holiday spirit.
That isn’t helped when he catches a local man who had stolen the baby Jesus from a Nativity scene in order end up in a warm jail cell.
Later he finds a man at his home and Rick naturally assumes he has broken in even though he looks and acts a lot like Santa Claus.
But he arrests the jolly old man in the red suit anyway and places him in jail with the Nativity thief and then both he and Santa open the sheriff’s eyes to a few things.
Unexpectedly Sheriff Langston then meets a woman who has just moved to Rockford named Lucy Hart (Christine Lakin) and after meeting her and her daughter Alana (Sophie Bolen) he comes to realise that even when you feel that all is lost, love is all around you and that his life promises more than he could have hoped for and he had a renewed belief in the possibility of miracles.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A FAIRYTALE CHRISTMAS
Appraiser/real estate saleswoman Isabella Everhart (Haylie Duff) is in partnership with her father Rex Everhart (C. Thomas Howell) but he’s not pulling his weight and not for the first time he drops a bombshell in her lap at the last minute, a large estate sale.
So still angry at her father she leave her California hometown in the rear-view mirror, Belle heads north on business to facilitate the estate sale of a mansion and she also put some distance between herself and her old school friend and persistent suitor Tony (Mark Famiglietti).
Despite her displeasure at being let down by her father the job is a dream, the client, Hunter Lowell (Nicholas Gonzalez), however is not, but, as the two spend more time together, his icy demeanour begins to melt.
Although their relationship is budding, Belle's long-time suitor, Tony, arrives, sending mixed signals to Hunter while adding chaos to the holiday season in a Yuletide romantic triangle.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE SANTA SUIT
Drake Hunter (Kevin Sorbo) is CEO of Hunter Toys, turned the company he inherited from his father, from a cosy quality manufacturer into a ruthless, uncaring, profit hungry business.
He employed all the production line staff on 39 hour weeks therefore avoiding the need to provide full benefits and he was no better during the holidays he showed his staff no festive generosity, no bonuses or time off.
However he gets the scrooge treatment when he meets who he presumes is one of the store Santa’s, Kris Krandall (Derry Robinson), who magically transforms Drake into a likeness of himself and as no one recognizes him as CEO he is forced to live in a shelter run by Nancy Baxter (Jodie Dowdall) and work as a Santa for Norm Dobson (Jason Blicker) in his toy store, with weird would be-actor Sebastian (Darrell Faria) as his Elf.
While working at the store he meets a quiet young girl called Gemma (Brianna Daguanno) and between his interaction with her and the kind and gentle influence of Nancy at the shelter he reassesses his values and priorities in life.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE SANTA INCIDENT
Santa (James Cosmo) has his sleigh shot down while flying through restricted military airspace and he is found unconscious on the railway tracks by two children Daniel (Scott Graham) and Sophia (Ali Lyons),
While lying in hospital in a coma one of the nurses looking after him is the children’s mother Joanna (Ione Skye), but the earthbound Santa is sought for questioning by a pair of overzealous Homeland Security agents.
As a result the fate of Christmas is in the hands of the disbelieving by-the-book duo of Agents, unless their faith in Santa can be restored by two children, their mother, the local sheriff (Jonathan Kerrigan) and a trio of elves who have arrived from the North to help out a friend in need.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – DECK THE HALLS (2011)
Based on the novel by Mary and Cathy Higgins Clark this breezy Christmas mystery thriller in which a female Detective Regan Reilly (Scottie Thompson) hooks up with a lottery winner-cleaning woman-turned amateur sleuth Alvirah Meehan (Kathy Najimy) to investigate the kidnapping of Regan's father Luke Reilly (David Selby) and a young female driver Rosita Alvarado (Luciana Carro) by a man in a Santa suit just before the holidays.
So in this fast moving seasonal thriller, the race is on to rescue the unfortunate pair from the out of character “Santa” kidnapper and get them home in time for Christmas.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A SNOW GLOBE CHRISTMAS
Meg (Alicia Witt) is a cynical TV exec who thinks the shows she produces mislead people into thinking dreams really can come true.
She is also a terrible Scrooge like boss who uses and abuses her crew, but she meets her match when she encounters Sal (Christina Milian) but that was mainly because she was an Angel.
During a conversation between the two of them Meg tries to smash a snow globe which bounces up and hits her on the head and knocks her out.
When she wakes up she is in the perfect snow-covered town depicted in the snow globe and she has a husband, Ted (Donald Faison) and two children.
Unable to fit into the world that she finds herself in, despite the fact that everyone in town tries to accept her, her negative attitudes eventually impacts on the town folks.
But just as she starts to realize that she likes her snow globe life better than her real one, she returns to reality with another bonk on the head courtesy of Sal, but she is no longer the person she was.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE TWELVE TREES OF CHRISTMAS
The Twelve Trees of Christmas strongly echoes the rivalries of "You've Got Mail" or "Two Weeks’ Notice".
Cheri Jamison (Lindy Booth) works at the Shaughnessy Library in Manhattan and she finds out shortly before Christmas that the library is not to reopen after the holiday and is to be demolished to make way for luxury apartments.
She immediately rallies the residents of her beloved Manhattan neighbourhood to fight the closure but finds herself up against an ambitious developer Tony Shaughnessy (Robin Dunne).
Despite her efforts she is thwarted at every turn so decides to get all the patrons of the library to participate in a Christmas tree decorating contest to be judged on Christmas Eve by Rosaleen Shaughnessy (Dawn Greenhalgh).
The process of decorating the trees brings romance to some of the participants including despite their best efforts, Cheri and Tony.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT 2013
Charlotte Hart (Nicollette Sheridan), a distinguished journalist, has moved back to her home town and is living with her brother’s family.
However just before Christmas a real estate developer, Daniel Huntslar (Bart Johnson) approaches the small town with a very lucrative offer.
However Charlotte is sceptical and as she’s a journalist her nose tells her there’s a real scoop, so she drives to see the real estate company boss to question him, however while en route she has a terrible car accident and wakes up in the hospital only to realize that her body is in a coma, but her spirit is very much awake.
She then meets another spirit who just happens to be the greedy developer who was the driver of the other car involved in the crash and he too is in a coma.
In the five days before the big vote on the proposed development Charlotte must try to change the minds of the town’s people as well as her fellow spirit.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – ONCE UPON A HOLIDAY
Katherine (Briana Evigan) is a Royal Princess and is in New York just before Christmas for a series of official engagements.
But she just wants an hour to herself out of her busy schedule to visit an art exhibition.
But when her Aunt Margaret (Jacqueline Samuda), who runs her life, tells her it was not possible and to stop being selfish she escapes her entourage to explore New York anyway and as she is tired of her diamond-studded and privileged life and the royal responsibilities that went along with being a royal princess she decided to take longer than an hour.
But when a pair of street hustlers steal her purse and prised camera, a good Samaritan, a young man called Jack (Paul Campbell) comes to her aid and ends up sweeping her off of her feet when he shows her his side of the city.
And when her true identity is finally revealed it is Jack who arranges for her to view the exhibition unheeded after calling in a favour.
It’s a lovely film in which, Harry (Jay Brazeau) steals the show as Jack’s friend, in this gentle heart-warming Christmas tale.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A CHRISTMAS PROMISE
Michael Thompson (Patrick Muldoon) is an uptight city accountant who is struggling to raise his teenage daughter Chloe (Mandalynn Carlson) all on his own after his wife’s tragic death.
Being a single parent and having to work long hours Chloe doesn’t see as much of him as she would like which leads to her attention seeking behaviour, so when he gets a call from Cliff Harrison (Rick Herod) to help save their family stables before ruthless bankers shut them down, he wonders if the country life is just what he and Chloe need to start over.
However when Michael arrives to sort out a farm’s financial problems he finds that Cliff's daughter Samantha (Charisma Carpenter) is not as appreciative of his help as rest of the family (Sydney (Dominique Swain), Jackson (Jaren Lewison), and Ben (Billy Tilk)) are for his help.
But as they search for ways to save the family's legacy, Romance develops between the accountant and Samantha while the baddies in the story seem hell bent on acquiring the farms best horse called Holly which is prised by the family as it was Cliff’s deceased wife’s favourite.
On the eve of Christmas, Rockford County Sheriff Rick Langston (Dean Cain) has lost his holiday spirit.
That isn’t helped when he catches a local man who had stolen the baby Jesus from a Nativity scene in order end up in a warm jail cell.
Later he finds a man at his home and Rick naturally assumes he has broken in even though he looks and acts a lot like Santa Claus.
But he arrests the jolly old man in the red suit anyway and places him in jail with the Nativity thief and then both he and Santa open the sheriff’s eyes to a few things.
Unexpectedly Sheriff Langston then meets a woman who has just moved to Rockford named Lucy Hart (Christine Lakin) and after meeting her and her daughter Alana (Sophie Bolen) he comes to realise that even when you feel that all is lost, love is all around you and that his life promises more than he could have hoped for and he had a renewed belief in the possibility of miracles.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A FAIRYTALE CHRISTMAS
Appraiser/real estate saleswoman Isabella Everhart (Haylie Duff) is in partnership with her father Rex Everhart (C. Thomas Howell) but he’s not pulling his weight and not for the first time he drops a bombshell in her lap at the last minute, a large estate sale.
So still angry at her father she leave her California hometown in the rear-view mirror, Belle heads north on business to facilitate the estate sale of a mansion and she also put some distance between herself and her old school friend and persistent suitor Tony (Mark Famiglietti).
Despite her displeasure at being let down by her father the job is a dream, the client, Hunter Lowell (Nicholas Gonzalez), however is not, but, as the two spend more time together, his icy demeanour begins to melt.
Although their relationship is budding, Belle's long-time suitor, Tony, arrives, sending mixed signals to Hunter while adding chaos to the holiday season in a Yuletide romantic triangle.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE SANTA SUIT
Drake Hunter (Kevin Sorbo) is CEO of Hunter Toys, turned the company he inherited from his father, from a cosy quality manufacturer into a ruthless, uncaring, profit hungry business.
He employed all the production line staff on 39 hour weeks therefore avoiding the need to provide full benefits and he was no better during the holidays he showed his staff no festive generosity, no bonuses or time off.
However he gets the scrooge treatment when he meets who he presumes is one of the store Santa’s, Kris Krandall (Derry Robinson), who magically transforms Drake into a likeness of himself and as no one recognizes him as CEO he is forced to live in a shelter run by Nancy Baxter (Jodie Dowdall) and work as a Santa for Norm Dobson (Jason Blicker) in his toy store, with weird would be-actor Sebastian (Darrell Faria) as his Elf.
While working at the store he meets a quiet young girl called Gemma (Brianna Daguanno) and between his interaction with her and the kind and gentle influence of Nancy at the shelter he reassesses his values and priorities in life.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE SANTA INCIDENT
Santa (James Cosmo) has his sleigh shot down while flying through restricted military airspace and he is found unconscious on the railway tracks by two children Daniel (Scott Graham) and Sophia (Ali Lyons),
While lying in hospital in a coma one of the nurses looking after him is the children’s mother Joanna (Ione Skye), but the earthbound Santa is sought for questioning by a pair of overzealous Homeland Security agents.
As a result the fate of Christmas is in the hands of the disbelieving by-the-book duo of Agents, unless their faith in Santa can be restored by two children, their mother, the local sheriff (Jonathan Kerrigan) and a trio of elves who have arrived from the North to help out a friend in need.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – DECK THE HALLS (2011)
Based on the novel by Mary and Cathy Higgins Clark this breezy Christmas mystery thriller in which a female Detective Regan Reilly (Scottie Thompson) hooks up with a lottery winner-cleaning woman-turned amateur sleuth Alvirah Meehan (Kathy Najimy) to investigate the kidnapping of Regan's father Luke Reilly (David Selby) and a young female driver Rosita Alvarado (Luciana Carro) by a man in a Santa suit just before the holidays.
So in this fast moving seasonal thriller, the race is on to rescue the unfortunate pair from the out of character “Santa” kidnapper and get them home in time for Christmas.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A SNOW GLOBE CHRISTMAS
Meg (Alicia Witt) is a cynical TV exec who thinks the shows she produces mislead people into thinking dreams really can come true.
She is also a terrible Scrooge like boss who uses and abuses her crew, but she meets her match when she encounters Sal (Christina Milian) but that was mainly because she was an Angel.
During a conversation between the two of them Meg tries to smash a snow globe which bounces up and hits her on the head and knocks her out.
When she wakes up she is in the perfect snow-covered town depicted in the snow globe and she has a husband, Ted (Donald Faison) and two children.
Unable to fit into the world that she finds herself in, despite the fact that everyone in town tries to accept her, her negative attitudes eventually impacts on the town folks.
But just as she starts to realize that she likes her snow globe life better than her real one, she returns to reality with another bonk on the head courtesy of Sal, but she is no longer the person she was.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE TWELVE TREES OF CHRISTMAS
The Twelve Trees of Christmas strongly echoes the rivalries of "You've Got Mail" or "Two Weeks’ Notice".
Cheri Jamison (Lindy Booth) works at the Shaughnessy Library in Manhattan and she finds out shortly before Christmas that the library is not to reopen after the holiday and is to be demolished to make way for luxury apartments.
She immediately rallies the residents of her beloved Manhattan neighbourhood to fight the closure but finds herself up against an ambitious developer Tony Shaughnessy (Robin Dunne).
Despite her efforts she is thwarted at every turn so decides to get all the patrons of the library to participate in a Christmas tree decorating contest to be judged on Christmas Eve by Rosaleen Shaughnessy (Dawn Greenhalgh).
The process of decorating the trees brings romance to some of the participants including despite their best efforts, Cheri and Tony.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT 2013
Charlotte Hart (Nicollette Sheridan), a distinguished journalist, has moved back to her home town and is living with her brother’s family.
However just before Christmas a real estate developer, Daniel Huntslar (Bart Johnson) approaches the small town with a very lucrative offer.
However Charlotte is sceptical and as she’s a journalist her nose tells her there’s a real scoop, so she drives to see the real estate company boss to question him, however while en route she has a terrible car accident and wakes up in the hospital only to realize that her body is in a coma, but her spirit is very much awake.
She then meets another spirit who just happens to be the greedy developer who was the driver of the other car involved in the crash and he too is in a coma.
In the five days before the big vote on the proposed development Charlotte must try to change the minds of the town’s people as well as her fellow spirit.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – ONCE UPON A HOLIDAY
Katherine (Briana Evigan) is a Royal Princess and is in New York just before Christmas for a series of official engagements.
But she just wants an hour to herself out of her busy schedule to visit an art exhibition.
But when her Aunt Margaret (Jacqueline Samuda), who runs her life, tells her it was not possible and to stop being selfish she escapes her entourage to explore New York anyway and as she is tired of her diamond-studded and privileged life and the royal responsibilities that went along with being a royal princess she decided to take longer than an hour.
But when a pair of street hustlers steal her purse and prised camera, a good Samaritan, a young man called Jack (Paul Campbell) comes to her aid and ends up sweeping her off of her feet when he shows her his side of the city.
And when her true identity is finally revealed it is Jack who arranges for her to view the exhibition unheeded after calling in a favour.
It’s a lovely film in which, Harry (Jay Brazeau) steals the show as Jack’s friend, in this gentle heart-warming Christmas tale.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A CHRISTMAS PROMISE
Michael Thompson (Patrick Muldoon) is an uptight city accountant who is struggling to raise his teenage daughter Chloe (Mandalynn Carlson) all on his own after his wife’s tragic death.
Being a single parent and having to work long hours Chloe doesn’t see as much of him as she would like which leads to her attention seeking behaviour, so when he gets a call from Cliff Harrison (Rick Herod) to help save their family stables before ruthless bankers shut them down, he wonders if the country life is just what he and Chloe need to start over.
However when Michael arrives to sort out a farm’s financial problems he finds that Cliff's daughter Samantha (Charisma Carpenter) is not as appreciative of his help as rest of the family (Sydney (Dominique Swain), Jackson (Jaren Lewison), and Ben (Billy Tilk)) are for his help.
But as they search for ways to save the family's legacy, Romance develops between the accountant and Samantha while the baddies in the story seem hell bent on acquiring the farms best horse called Holly which is prised by the family as it was Cliff’s deceased wife’s favourite.
Christmas Poem Selection # 16
ARE YOU WEARING A PAPER HAT?
Are you wearing a paper hat?
It’s Christmas day and that’s that
We’ve pulled our Christmas crackers
So everyone must wears a paper hat
MY VERY WORST CHRISTMAS EVER
My very worst Christmas ever
Was when I got an empty carton
All dog-eared and flattened out
For hours of innocent ex-box fun
CRIMBLETIDE
I really love Crimbletide
It makes me all warm inside
And the joy I cannot hide
For the season of Crimbletide
TO ALL OF YOU, FROM ALL OF US
I have to say
Without ado
It’s time to say
To all of you
From all of us
Merry Christmas
PERSISTENT AND DISRUPTIVE WINDS
Persistent and disruptive winds,
There seems to be no doubts,
Are predicted after Christmas
And it will probably be the Sprouts
A VEGETARIAN CHRISTMAS
Do you want to celebrate?
A vegetarian Christmas
Then here you are
Have a freshly strained
Vegetable every day
With the advent colander
THE COUNCIL CHRISTMAS TREE
The council Christmas tree is dressed
And the lights were switched on in June
But don’t get yourself unduly distressed
With energy saving lights it’s not too soon
Because you must switch them on remember
So they are warmed up by December
THE WEATHER MAY BE DREARY
The weather may be dreary
My bones maybe weary
I may walk with heavy step
I may be lacking in pep
But when Christmas arrives
My spirit soon revives
IT LIFTS THE HEART AND SOUL
It lifts the heart and soul
Even when doing chores
What the yearlong drains
The festive season restores
THROUGHOUT THE YULETIDE SEASON
Throughout the yuletide season
In the light of the fireside glow
Christmas garlands are strung
Of Holly, Ivy and Mistletoe
BALTHAZAR, MELCHIOR AND CASPAR
Balthazar, Melchior and Caspar
The wise men of the east
Search for the prince of peace
Gods dove against the beast
And with the holy birth
The light of love was released
CHRISTMAS IS A SPECIAL TIME
Christmas is a special time
When wishes can come true
But if you find they don’t
You can still make believe
That she is in love with you
SEASONS COME AND GO
Seasons come and go, but
For me the festive season
Is the most special of all
It refreshes and restores
Simply put, it invigorates
And sets me up once again
For the coming year ahead
MY WORST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER # 2
My worst Christmas present ever
Was when I got an empty carton
All dog-eared and flattened out
Really tatty and really not fun
When I complained to my dad
And declared it worse than socks
He said I should be more grateful
To receive my very own ex-box
To make things so much worse
My dad thought it was quite nifty
If you then spun the box around
To make an ex-box 360
WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES
When the clock strikes
The midnight hour
One year ends
And another begins
With an explosion
Of pyrotechnic splendour
Lavishly ostentatious
Many thousands of pounds
Up in smoke
Is it really worth it?
Would it not be better spent?
On the homeless
And the lost
And so begin a new year
With new hope
Are you wearing a paper hat?
It’s Christmas day and that’s that
We’ve pulled our Christmas crackers
So everyone must wears a paper hat
MY VERY WORST CHRISTMAS EVER
My very worst Christmas ever
Was when I got an empty carton
All dog-eared and flattened out
For hours of innocent ex-box fun
CRIMBLETIDE
I really love Crimbletide
It makes me all warm inside
And the joy I cannot hide
For the season of Crimbletide
TO ALL OF YOU, FROM ALL OF US
I have to say
Without ado
It’s time to say
To all of you
From all of us
Merry Christmas
PERSISTENT AND DISRUPTIVE WINDS
Persistent and disruptive winds,
There seems to be no doubts,
Are predicted after Christmas
And it will probably be the Sprouts
A VEGETARIAN CHRISTMAS
Do you want to celebrate?
A vegetarian Christmas
Then here you are
Have a freshly strained
Vegetable every day
With the advent colander
THE COUNCIL CHRISTMAS TREE
The council Christmas tree is dressed
And the lights were switched on in June
But don’t get yourself unduly distressed
With energy saving lights it’s not too soon
Because you must switch them on remember
So they are warmed up by December
THE WEATHER MAY BE DREARY
The weather may be dreary
My bones maybe weary
I may walk with heavy step
I may be lacking in pep
But when Christmas arrives
My spirit soon revives
IT LIFTS THE HEART AND SOUL
It lifts the heart and soul
Even when doing chores
What the yearlong drains
The festive season restores
THROUGHOUT THE YULETIDE SEASON
Throughout the yuletide season
In the light of the fireside glow
Christmas garlands are strung
Of Holly, Ivy and Mistletoe
BALTHAZAR, MELCHIOR AND CASPAR
Balthazar, Melchior and Caspar
The wise men of the east
Search for the prince of peace
Gods dove against the beast
And with the holy birth
The light of love was released
CHRISTMAS IS A SPECIAL TIME
Christmas is a special time
When wishes can come true
But if you find they don’t
You can still make believe
That she is in love with you
SEASONS COME AND GO
Seasons come and go, but
For me the festive season
Is the most special of all
It refreshes and restores
Simply put, it invigorates
And sets me up once again
For the coming year ahead
MY WORST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER # 2
My worst Christmas present ever
Was when I got an empty carton
All dog-eared and flattened out
Really tatty and really not fun
When I complained to my dad
And declared it worse than socks
He said I should be more grateful
To receive my very own ex-box
To make things so much worse
My dad thought it was quite nifty
If you then spun the box around
To make an ex-box 360
WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES
When the clock strikes
The midnight hour
One year ends
And another begins
With an explosion
Of pyrotechnic splendour
Lavishly ostentatious
Many thousands of pounds
Up in smoke
Is it really worth it?
Would it not be better spent?
On the homeless
And the lost
And so begin a new year
With new hope
Tuesday 27 December 2016
Christmas Poem Selection # 15
ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS OUTFIT?
Are you wearing a Christmas outfit?
Well you really do look good in it
And it doesn’t look risqué, not a bit
It’s a really cracking little outfit
Though all the emphasis is on the fit
IT’S NOT EVERYONE’S IDEAL
It’s not everyone’s ideal
Not their cup of tea
Or glass of mulled wine
But it is for me
Christmas is special
A wonderful heartfelt time
When deep felt feelings
Of happiness and joy
Rise to the surface
Like bubbles in champagne
THE WARM GLOW
In the warm glow
Of the log fire blazing
The fresh trimmed tree
Just looks amazing
As we sit together
In the quiet glow
I yearn to say
How much I love you so
The depth of my love
Is truly amazing
And just one coy glance
Sets my passions blazing
So on Christmas Eve
In the quiet glow
I think it’s time
For you to know
Just how much
I love you so
ADIOS FRIEND
My Christmas wish for you,
My friend is a simple one
Have a happy time in the cold
I’m jetting off to the sun
THE QUEEN’S SPEECH
We listen at 3pm on Christmas day
To hear what the Queen has to say
While for those of a Republican bent
An alternative is just a click away
SOAP TRADITION
Christmas is all about traditions
But they evolve across the years
Some fall from favour all together
Then new ones seem to appear
This is certainly the case
Of one of the more recent traditions
To the familiar Christmas fare
The TV soaps festive additions
This is when the tired old plot line
That’s simmered away since June
Suddenly explodes in your face
And not a moment too soon
A QUIET MAGIC DESCENDS
Oh how a quiet magic descends
Upon the streets on Christmas day
As it’s the one day of the year
The shops are closed all day
CHRISTMAS DAY FOR THE POOR
Christmas day for the poor,
Hold very little surprise
For them it’s just another day
In a sparkling disguise
CHRISTMAS IS OUR FAVOURITE CELEBRATION
Christmas is our favourite celebration
In fact it is the most special occasion
A time to express what is in our hearts
The moment the festive season starts
For we have the most heartfelt wish
For those whose love we truly cherish.
IT’S SUCH A MILD CHRISTMAS
It’s such a mild Christmas
All the birds are singing noisily
Normally in December
They’re all frozen to a tree
MY WORST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER # 1
My worst Christmas present ever
I thought I would be lucky to receive
It was big and so full of possibilities
But it really flattered to deceive
Beneath the coloured paper
That hinted at hidden promise
It turned out to be a cardboard box
Containing only emptiness
My mum was watching me intently
And my disappointment hurt her
My cheapskate dad then told me
It was an Action Man deserter
ARE YOU SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER?
Are you Santa’s little helper?
Well you’re a proper little belter
I love the little pixie boots
And the red velvet dress really suits
The Santa hat looks very smart
The stripy stockings stir the heart
And I’d like to see your garters
But give me a kiss for starters
CANDY CANES, CINNAMON AND GINGER
Candy Canes,
Cinnamon and Ginger
Are some of my favourite
Christmas things
Especially when
They’re only wearing
Christmas Stockings
And Popcorn Strings
A SNOWMANS TALE
When I was very little
My dad and his brother
Built a huge snowman
Bigger than any other
He was as tall as Dad
And was round and fat
It had coal for eyes
And a big black hat
A scarf about its neck
For sartorial style
A large carrot nose
And a twig for a smile
Knobbly stick arms
With gloves at the end
A belt around its girth
Like a cummerbund
I loved that snowman
Standing so very tall
Until the eventual thaw
And I watched him fall
MY BROTHER WAS FIVE YEARS MY SENIOR
My brother was five years my senior
So he always led me astray
He took me on a hunt every December
Leading up to Christmas day
To find the presents that mum and dad
Had cunningly stashed away
Are you wearing a Christmas outfit?
Well you really do look good in it
And it doesn’t look risqué, not a bit
It’s a really cracking little outfit
Though all the emphasis is on the fit
IT’S NOT EVERYONE’S IDEAL
It’s not everyone’s ideal
Not their cup of tea
Or glass of mulled wine
But it is for me
Christmas is special
A wonderful heartfelt time
When deep felt feelings
Of happiness and joy
Rise to the surface
Like bubbles in champagne
THE WARM GLOW
In the warm glow
Of the log fire blazing
The fresh trimmed tree
Just looks amazing
As we sit together
In the quiet glow
I yearn to say
How much I love you so
The depth of my love
Is truly amazing
And just one coy glance
Sets my passions blazing
So on Christmas Eve
In the quiet glow
I think it’s time
For you to know
Just how much
I love you so
ADIOS FRIEND
My Christmas wish for you,
My friend is a simple one
Have a happy time in the cold
I’m jetting off to the sun
THE QUEEN’S SPEECH
We listen at 3pm on Christmas day
To hear what the Queen has to say
While for those of a Republican bent
An alternative is just a click away
SOAP TRADITION
Christmas is all about traditions
But they evolve across the years
Some fall from favour all together
Then new ones seem to appear
This is certainly the case
Of one of the more recent traditions
To the familiar Christmas fare
The TV soaps festive additions
This is when the tired old plot line
That’s simmered away since June
Suddenly explodes in your face
And not a moment too soon
A QUIET MAGIC DESCENDS
Oh how a quiet magic descends
Upon the streets on Christmas day
As it’s the one day of the year
The shops are closed all day
CHRISTMAS DAY FOR THE POOR
Christmas day for the poor,
Hold very little surprise
For them it’s just another day
In a sparkling disguise
CHRISTMAS IS OUR FAVOURITE CELEBRATION
Christmas is our favourite celebration
In fact it is the most special occasion
A time to express what is in our hearts
The moment the festive season starts
For we have the most heartfelt wish
For those whose love we truly cherish.
IT’S SUCH A MILD CHRISTMAS
It’s such a mild Christmas
All the birds are singing noisily
Normally in December
They’re all frozen to a tree
MY WORST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER # 1
My worst Christmas present ever
I thought I would be lucky to receive
It was big and so full of possibilities
But it really flattered to deceive
Beneath the coloured paper
That hinted at hidden promise
It turned out to be a cardboard box
Containing only emptiness
My mum was watching me intently
And my disappointment hurt her
My cheapskate dad then told me
It was an Action Man deserter
ARE YOU SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER?
Are you Santa’s little helper?
Well you’re a proper little belter
I love the little pixie boots
And the red velvet dress really suits
The Santa hat looks very smart
The stripy stockings stir the heart
And I’d like to see your garters
But give me a kiss for starters
CANDY CANES, CINNAMON AND GINGER
Candy Canes,
Cinnamon and Ginger
Are some of my favourite
Christmas things
Especially when
They’re only wearing
Christmas Stockings
And Popcorn Strings
A SNOWMANS TALE
When I was very little
My dad and his brother
Built a huge snowman
Bigger than any other
He was as tall as Dad
And was round and fat
It had coal for eyes
And a big black hat
A scarf about its neck
For sartorial style
A large carrot nose
And a twig for a smile
Knobbly stick arms
With gloves at the end
A belt around its girth
Like a cummerbund
I loved that snowman
Standing so very tall
Until the eventual thaw
And I watched him fall
MY BROTHER WAS FIVE YEARS MY SENIOR
My brother was five years my senior
So he always led me astray
He took me on a hunt every December
Leading up to Christmas day
To find the presents that mum and dad
Had cunningly stashed away
Monday 26 December 2016
Have yourself a very naughty Christmas # 5
ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS KNICKERS?
Are you wearing Christmas Knickers?
Is that appropriate for vicars?
Just kneel upon this hassock
While I rummage in your cassock
The bishop wouldn’t think it funny
My naughty little Christmas honey
SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN
You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Because Daddy
Has just worked
A 14 hour day
And now has to drive
300 miles of Christmas traffic
To spend another bloody Christmas
At Grandma Browns
House of doom
So he is not in the mood
For any of your shit
CHRISTMAS TURKEY
Laid naked on the kitchen table
White flesh from leg to breast
A Christmas bird to be enjoyed
My table was truly blessed
I set about the job in hand
Getting the bird prepared
And by using all my expertise
No effort at all was spared
Having greased the old bird well
The meaty legs spread wide
And I began to stuff the bird
I was really in my stride
When the bird had been well stuffed
It lay resting on the cooker
Smelling of sage and onion
The bird really was a looker
Then I looked up at the kitchen clock
Panic filled me and I began to fret
I shouted to my wife “quick put you pants on”
Ii haven’t prepared the turkey yet
SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER
I’ve bought a special gift
For my Christmas honey
It’s a “Santa’s little helper” outfit
And it’s bloody horny
Its red velour with white fur trim
And matching lingerie
It’s figure hugging short and tight
And shows all you’d want to see
I’ve always liked sexy outfits
And this is the best I’ve seen
I’m sure that she will like it
Especially as it wipes clean
CHRISTMAS GOOSE
At Christmas time
I do like a goose
It is my one weakness
And I offer no excuse
Though it does depend
Of course on the bird
To say any different
Would be quite absurd
The quality of goose
That you are executing
Is directly related
To the bird you are goosing
EVERYONE IN THE GROTTO KNOWS
Everyone in the grotto knows
The reason for Santa’s ho ho ho’s
And why Santa’s little helper is all aglow
Because she is the latest of Santa’s ho’s
In her green woolly panty hoes
Pixie shoes with turned up toes
Her outfit held together with velcro
Everyone in the grotto knows
Santa gets inside her pixie clothes
And fills her stocking, ho ho ho
SANTA’S R & R
When Santa returns to the north pole
After his momentous Christmas eve
He is always looking forward
To his well deserved annual leave
His post Christmas R & R always begins
With a sight to make his passion burn
That of Mrs Claus festively clad
Hot and spicy to greet him on his return
In red stiletto shoes, red and white stockings
Standing seductively against the bedroom door
Then revealing her delights to her horny Santa
As her fur trimmed cloak falls to the floor
Red silk skimpies, a glimpse of her thighs
Santa is eager to quench his thirst
But Mrs Claus says heading towards the bed
“You had better warm your hands up first”
PARTY CLAUS
What does Santa do after Christmas?
Well if you want to know the truth
He parties hard with Mrs. Claus
Til they melt the snow off the roof
FATHER AND CHRISTMAS
What do a Christmas tree
And a priest have in comparison?
The answer is simple to see
Their balls are just for decoration
EMPTYING SANTA’S SACK
One Christmas Eve on a roof top up on high
A poor soul stands shouting up at the sky
He has lost his job and his wife has left him
And the size of his overdraft is quite grim
Finishing his rant to god he shuts his eyes
Then he leaves a note saying his good-byes
He walks up to the edge ready to jump off
He stops when behind him he hears a cough
Father Christmas asks him "are you ok?"
And the man tells him the details of his day
He again walks to the edge of the rooftop
Then Father Christmas shouts, "please stop!"
“It’s Christmas so I’ll give three gifts to you
And I will have a small task for you to do”
Santa Claus says, “let me help you please”
The poor man is in such despair so he agrees
"That would be wonderful thanks,” he said
Father Christmas told him what was ahead
Firstly go home to your wife who is there
Waiting dressed in her sexiest underwear
Longing for you and begging forgiveness
She wants only you and your fond caress
And as for the recent loss of her affection
She will have absolutely no recollection
Secondly go into work after the holiday
Sit at your desk and work the same way
Your salary will have been well increased
Nobody remembers your employment ceased
Thirdly when you check your bank account
And you will be in credit by a large amount
The man is thrilled "oh thank you, thank you!"
Then said, “what is it that you want me to do?"
“Drop your trousers and then bend down”
The man is unsure agrees but wears a frown
Santa Claus gave him a brutal buggering
Leaving the poor man with eyes watering
Afterwards Santa asked, “how old are you?”
The man replied “actually I’m forty two”
“Your too old to believe in me by quite a bit”
Said the fat gay bastard in the Santa outfit
A HAND FOR SANTA
On Christmas Eve
Don’t lay awake in bed
All you naughty girls
Blonde, brunette or red
For instead of presents
You may get a shock instead
You may catch Santa
Dressed in his suit of red
Emptying his sack
At the end of your bed
CHIMNEY NOOK
The next time you complain
At the lack of Christmas nookey
Spare a thought for old St Nick
And have a little sympathy
For he only comes but once a year
And then he’s up a chimney
A CHRISTMAS WISH
On a Christmas Eve at midnight
When I got into bed
I lay upon my pillow
And there beside my head
Was Santa with his trousers off
And this is what he said
Happy Christmas little girl
I’ve unwrapped this gift for you
So take this gift with pleasure
To make your wish come true
Because Santa comes but once a year
And tonight he comes with you
SNOW SHOW
A weather man predicted snow
But he didn’t get it right
So the female anchor on the show
Asked to our delight
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches!
You promised me last night?"
ARE YOU WEARING XMAS TIGHTS?
Are you wearing Xmas tights?
Oh how they are exciting me
Adorned with a festive motif
What a Christmas this will be
Are you wearing Christmas Knickers?
Is that appropriate for vicars?
Just kneel upon this hassock
While I rummage in your cassock
The bishop wouldn’t think it funny
My naughty little Christmas honey
SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN
You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Because Daddy
Has just worked
A 14 hour day
And now has to drive
300 miles of Christmas traffic
To spend another bloody Christmas
At Grandma Browns
House of doom
So he is not in the mood
For any of your shit
CHRISTMAS TURKEY
Laid naked on the kitchen table
White flesh from leg to breast
A Christmas bird to be enjoyed
My table was truly blessed
I set about the job in hand
Getting the bird prepared
And by using all my expertise
No effort at all was spared
Having greased the old bird well
The meaty legs spread wide
And I began to stuff the bird
I was really in my stride
When the bird had been well stuffed
It lay resting on the cooker
Smelling of sage and onion
The bird really was a looker
Then I looked up at the kitchen clock
Panic filled me and I began to fret
I shouted to my wife “quick put you pants on”
Ii haven’t prepared the turkey yet
SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER
I’ve bought a special gift
For my Christmas honey
It’s a “Santa’s little helper” outfit
And it’s bloody horny
Its red velour with white fur trim
And matching lingerie
It’s figure hugging short and tight
And shows all you’d want to see
I’ve always liked sexy outfits
And this is the best I’ve seen
I’m sure that she will like it
Especially as it wipes clean
CHRISTMAS GOOSE
At Christmas time
I do like a goose
It is my one weakness
And I offer no excuse
Though it does depend
Of course on the bird
To say any different
Would be quite absurd
The quality of goose
That you are executing
Is directly related
To the bird you are goosing
EVERYONE IN THE GROTTO KNOWS
Everyone in the grotto knows
The reason for Santa’s ho ho ho’s
And why Santa’s little helper is all aglow
Because she is the latest of Santa’s ho’s
In her green woolly panty hoes
Pixie shoes with turned up toes
Her outfit held together with velcro
Everyone in the grotto knows
Santa gets inside her pixie clothes
And fills her stocking, ho ho ho
SANTA’S R & R
When Santa returns to the north pole
After his momentous Christmas eve
He is always looking forward
To his well deserved annual leave
His post Christmas R & R always begins
With a sight to make his passion burn
That of Mrs Claus festively clad
Hot and spicy to greet him on his return
In red stiletto shoes, red and white stockings
Standing seductively against the bedroom door
Then revealing her delights to her horny Santa
As her fur trimmed cloak falls to the floor
Red silk skimpies, a glimpse of her thighs
Santa is eager to quench his thirst
But Mrs Claus says heading towards the bed
“You had better warm your hands up first”
PARTY CLAUS
What does Santa do after Christmas?
Well if you want to know the truth
He parties hard with Mrs. Claus
Til they melt the snow off the roof
FATHER AND CHRISTMAS
What do a Christmas tree
And a priest have in comparison?
The answer is simple to see
Their balls are just for decoration
EMPTYING SANTA’S SACK
One Christmas Eve on a roof top up on high
A poor soul stands shouting up at the sky
He has lost his job and his wife has left him
And the size of his overdraft is quite grim
Finishing his rant to god he shuts his eyes
Then he leaves a note saying his good-byes
He walks up to the edge ready to jump off
He stops when behind him he hears a cough
Father Christmas asks him "are you ok?"
And the man tells him the details of his day
He again walks to the edge of the rooftop
Then Father Christmas shouts, "please stop!"
“It’s Christmas so I’ll give three gifts to you
And I will have a small task for you to do”
Santa Claus says, “let me help you please”
The poor man is in such despair so he agrees
"That would be wonderful thanks,” he said
Father Christmas told him what was ahead
Firstly go home to your wife who is there
Waiting dressed in her sexiest underwear
Longing for you and begging forgiveness
She wants only you and your fond caress
And as for the recent loss of her affection
She will have absolutely no recollection
Secondly go into work after the holiday
Sit at your desk and work the same way
Your salary will have been well increased
Nobody remembers your employment ceased
Thirdly when you check your bank account
And you will be in credit by a large amount
The man is thrilled "oh thank you, thank you!"
Then said, “what is it that you want me to do?"
“Drop your trousers and then bend down”
The man is unsure agrees but wears a frown
Santa Claus gave him a brutal buggering
Leaving the poor man with eyes watering
Afterwards Santa asked, “how old are you?”
The man replied “actually I’m forty two”
“Your too old to believe in me by quite a bit”
Said the fat gay bastard in the Santa outfit
A HAND FOR SANTA
On Christmas Eve
Don’t lay awake in bed
All you naughty girls
Blonde, brunette or red
For instead of presents
You may get a shock instead
You may catch Santa
Dressed in his suit of red
Emptying his sack
At the end of your bed
CHIMNEY NOOK
The next time you complain
At the lack of Christmas nookey
Spare a thought for old St Nick
And have a little sympathy
For he only comes but once a year
And then he’s up a chimney
A CHRISTMAS WISH
On a Christmas Eve at midnight
When I got into bed
I lay upon my pillow
And there beside my head
Was Santa with his trousers off
And this is what he said
Happy Christmas little girl
I’ve unwrapped this gift for you
So take this gift with pleasure
To make your wish come true
Because Santa comes but once a year
And tonight he comes with you
SNOW SHOW
A weather man predicted snow
But he didn’t get it right
So the female anchor on the show
Asked to our delight
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches!
You promised me last night?"
ARE YOU WEARING XMAS TIGHTS?
Are you wearing Xmas tights?
Oh how they are exciting me
Adorned with a festive motif
What a Christmas this will be
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