Thursday 2 February 2023

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – NATIVITY ROCKS! (2018)

 

Jerry Poppy (Simon Lipkin) journeys to St Bernadette’s primary in Coventry in search of the brother he didn’t know he had, Desmond, only to find out from the new headteacher, Mrs. Keen (Celia Imrie), that he and his Aunt were in Australia.

His arrival coincides with the announcement that the city is competing to be the city of Christmas by staging a rock opera, to be directed by Emmanuel Cavendish (Craig Revel Horwood).

So Jerry joins teacher Ben Johnson (Daniel Boy) to try and get the class an audition for the competition, while also helping social worker (Helen George) try to reunite unattached refugee Doru (Brian Alan Bartle) with his father (Ramin Karimloo) after Doru runs away from his friend Barnaby’s (Rupert Turnbull) house. 

So they must follow him to Much Wenlock where they meet Farmer Beatie (Ruth Jones) and then they must all get  back to Coventry in time for the concert.

SANTA ANA AND HIS REINDEER

 

"Now Vortex! Now Bluster!

Now, Twister and Mizzle!

On, Cyclone! On, Humid!

On, Monsoon and Drizzle!

From their HQ in Exeter!

To the Met office ball!

Now dash away! Dash away!

Dash away all!"

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 332

 

Flour of England, fruit of Spain,

Met together in a shower of rain;

Let’s make Christmas pudding again

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 15

 

The true nature of fairy tales

Are for the devotee, a heartbreaker

Because the tales were sanitized

Such as the Elves and the Hoe maker

PETER PAN IS A BIT OF A GAY ICON

 

Peter Pan is a bit of a gay icon

As he disrupts the pirates shanties

But that’s not even his real name

He was baptized as Peter Panties

IF JM BARRIE HAD WRITTEN SMUT

 

If JM Barrie had written smut

About all the titillation and joys

His classic tale would have been

Peter Porn and The Lust Boys

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 6

 

She was drinking in the forest

But she didn't want Tango to sup,

That wasn’t for Snow White,

She much preferred her 7up