ARE YOU WEARING A SPRIG OF MISTLETOE?
Are you wearing a sprig of mistletoe?
Are you hoping to meet a beau?
And kiss him passionately in the snow
An embrace to leave you all aglow
Is that why you wear the mistletoe?
CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 6
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During the Christmas season
Walk up and simply ask her
“If she would like to meet
Santa's little helper?”
RUDOLF’S LOW SELF ESTEEM
Rudolf suffered
From low self esteem
Due to the red nose
It would seem
It rendered him useless
As a parcel carrier
So Santa made a call
To a reindeer whisperer
NOW THAT IT'S CHRISTMAS # 1
Now that it's Christmas
It makes me kind of sad
To do all the things
I used to do with Dad
But when I feel him beside me
Then I don’t feel so bad
JOY BRINGER, TOY BRINGER
Joy bringer
Toy bringer
He’s the real McCoy
For every girl and boy
NOT A THRIFT GIVER
Not a thrift giver
But a gift giver
Santa will forever
Have love to deliver
THIS IS OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS
This is our first Christmas
As husband and wife
The very first Christmas
Of our married life
This is our first Christmas
Together in our house
The very first Christmas
With my very own spouse
PUT ASIDE YOUR SADNESS
Put aside your sadness
Lose yourself in the madness
That is Christmas,
Come spend it with us
Come and you will see
That with cherished company
The season will be a little brighter
And the weight on your heart a little lighter
SANTA AND HIS LITTLE ELF
Santa and his little Elf
Have been dismissed
For activities undertaken
When they were pissed
That got both of them
Put on the naughty list
HANDLE MUM WITH CARE
Mum gets really stressed out at Christmas
And you upset her if you dare
Because the result could be that you will
Be hung from the chimney with care
CHRISTMAS MANIA
Uncle John has mental health issues
And he doesn’t do well with stress
So normally come Christmas time
He has to board the bi-polar express
ARE YOU WEARING A FESTIVE SWEATER?
Are you wearing a festive sweater?
Well this season just keeps on getting better
And you really don’t need a bigger size
A more perfect fit would be hard to devise
I WENT OUT CHRISTMAS SHOPPING
I went out Christmas shopping
But I didn’t get very far
Before I got caught shoplifting
As I stole an advent calendar
The shopkeeper had me arrested
Because of my larcenous ways
And for stealing an advent calendar
I got twenty five days
CRACKERS, FRUITCAKE AND NUTS
Crackers, fruitcake and nuts
They mean Christmas to me
Although to be honest, they
Could also describe my family
WHEN SANTA RETURNED HOME
When Santa returned home
To have his tea
His wife was there
Waiting apprehensively
“There was a phone call for you”
Said Mrs. C
“It was a little garbled
And made no sense to me
Something about Saville
And Operation Yew tree”
Showing posts with label Carols. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Carols. Show all posts
Friday 23 December 2016
Christmas Carols and Songs # 2
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 40 JINGLE BELLS
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my fortieth selection.
“Jingle Bells”
Written by James Pierpont
Performed by Rosemary Clooney
Dashing through the snow
Over the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on bobtail ring'
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to laugh and sing
A sleighing song tonight!
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way.
Oh! what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh.
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way;
Oh! what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh.
A day or two ago
I thought I'd take a ride
And soon, Miss Fanny Bright
Was seated by my side,
The horse was lean and lank
Misfortune seemed his lot
He got into a drifted bank
And then we got upsot.
A day or two ago,
The story I must tell
I went out on the snow,
And on my back I fell;
A gent was riding by
In a one-horse open sleigh,
He laughed as there I sprawling lie,
But quickly drove away.
Now the ground is white
Go it while you're young,
Take the girls tonight
and sing this sleighing song;
Just get a bobtailed bay
Two forty as his speed
Hitch him to an open sleigh
And crack! You'll take the lead.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 52 THE WEXFORD CAROL (GOOD PEOPLE ALL, THIS CHRISTMASTIDE)
"The Wexford Carol" ("Good People All, This Christmastide")
Irish traditional
Good people all, this Christmas time,
Consider well and bear in mind
What our good God for us has done
In sending his beloved son
With Mary holy we should pray,
To God with love this Christmas Day
In Bethlehem upon that morn,
There was a blessed Messiah born.
The night before that happy tide,
The noble Virgin and her guide
Were long time seeking up and down
To find a lodging in the town.
But mark right well what came to pass
From every door repelled, alas,
As was foretold, their refuge all
Was but a humble ox's stall.
Near Bethlehem did shepherds keep
Their flocks of lambs and feeding sheep
To whom God's angel did appear
Which put the shepherds in great fear
Arise and go, the angels said
To Bethlehem, be not afraid
For there you'll find, this happy morn
A princely babe, sweet Jesus, born.
With thankful heart and joyful mind
The shepherds went the babe to find
And as God's angel had foretold
They did our Saviour Christ behold
Within a manger he was laid
And by his side a virgin maid
Attending on the Lord of Life
Who came on earth to end all strife.
There were three wise men from afar
Directed by a glorious star
And on they wandered night and day
Until they came where Jesus lay
And when they came unto that place
Where our beloved Messiah lay
They humbly cast them at his feet
With gifts of gold and incense sweet.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 41 JOLLY OLD SAINT NICHOLAS
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my forty first selection.
“Jolly Old Saint Nicholas”
Lyrics by Benjamin Hanby
Music composed by Johann Pachelbel
Jolly old St. Nicholas, Lean your ear this way!
Don't you tell a single soul, What I'm going to say;
Christmas Eve is coming soon, Now, you dear old man,
Whisper what you'll bring to me: Tell me if you can.
When the clock is striking twelve, When I'm fast asleep,
Down the chimney broad and black, With your pack you'll creep.
All the stockings you will find Hanging in a row;
Mine will be the shortest one, You'll be sure to know.
Johnny wants a pair of skates, Susie wants a sled
Nellie wants a picture book, yellow,blue and red
Now I think I`ll leave
to you
what to give the rest
Choose for me dear Santa Claus
you will know the best.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 50 TORCHES
"Torches"
Composed by John Joubert
Torches, torches, run with torches
all the way to Bethlehem!
Christ is born and now lies sleeping;
come and sing your song to him.
Ah, Ro-ro, Ro-ro, my baby,
Ah, Ro-ro, my love, Ro-ro;
sleep you well, my heart’s own darling,
while we sing you our Ro-ro.
Sing, my friends, and make you merry,
joy and mirth and joy again;
lo, he lives, the king of heaven,
now and evermore. Amen.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 42 THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my forty second selection.
“The Twelve Days Of Christmas”
A traditional folk melody by English composer Frederic Austin
Performed by The Spinners
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A partridge in a pear tree
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Ten Lords A-leaping
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eleven Pipers Piping
Ten Lords A-leaping
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Twelve Drummers Drumming
Eleven Pipers Piping
Ten Lords A-leaping
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 46 SWEET LITTLE JESUS BOY
Sweet Little Jesus Boy
Music and lyrics written by Robert MacGimsey
Sweet little Jesus Boy
They made You be born in a manguh [manger]
Sweet little Holy chil'
Didn't know who You wus [was]
Didn't know You'd come to save us Lawd
To take our sins away
Our eyes wus bline [was blind]
We couldn't see
We didn't know who You wus [was]
Long time ago You wus bawn [was born]
Bawn in a manguh [manger] low
Sweet little Jesus Boy
De worl' [the world] treat You mean, Lawd
Treat me mean too
But please, Suh, fuhgive [Sir, forgive] us Lawd
We didn't know 'twas You
Sweet little Jesus Boy
Bawn [born] long time ago
Sweet little Holy chil'
An' we didn't know who You wus [was]
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 43 2000 MILES
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my forty third selection.
“2000 Miles”
Written By Chrissie Hynde
Performed by The Pretenders
He's gone two thousand miles
It's very far
The snow is falling down
Gets colder day by day
I miss you
The children will sing
He'll be back at Christmastime
In these frozen and silent nights
Sometimes in a dream you appear
Outside under the purple sky
Diamonds in the snow sparkle
Our hearts were singing
It felt like Christmastime
Two thousand miles
Is very far through the snow
I'll think of you
Wherever you go
He's gone two thousand miles
It's very far
The snow is falling down
Gets colder day by day
I miss you
I can hear people singing
It must be Christmastime
I hear people singing
It must be Christmastime
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 47 THIS ENDRIS NIGHT
This Endris Night
English traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown
This endris1 night I saw a sight,
A star as bright as day,
And ev'r among, a maiden sung,
"Lully, bye bye, lullay."
This lovely lady sat and sang,
And to her child did say,
"My son, my brother, father dear,
Why liest thou thus in hay?"
"My sweetest bird, 'tis thus required,
Though I be king veray,
But nevertheless I will not cease
To sing 'Bye bye, lullay.'"
The child then spake in his talking,
And to his mother did say,
"Yea, I am known as heaven-king
In crib though I be laid.
"For angels bright down on me light;
Thou knowest 'tis no nay.
And for that sight thou may delight
To sing, 'Bye bye, lullay.'"
"Now, sweet son, since thou art a king,
Why art thou laid in stall?
Why dost not order thy bedding
In some great kinges hall?
"Methinks5 'tis right that king or knight
Should lie in good array.
And then among, it were no wrong
To sing 'Bye bye, lullay.'"
"Mary mother, I am thy Child,
Though I be laid in stall;
For lords and dukes shall worship Me,
And so shall kingès all.
"Ye shall well see that kingès three
Shall come on this twelfth day.
For this behest give Me thy breast
And sing, By by, lullay."
"Now tell, sweet Son, I Thee do pray,
Thou art my Love and Dear—
How should I keep Thee to Thy pay6,
And make Thee glad of cheer?
"For all Thy will I would fulfill—
Thou knowest well, in fay7;
And for all this I will Thee kiss,
And sing, By by, lullay."
"My dear mother, when time it be,
Take thou Me up on loft,
And set Me then upon thy knee,
And handle me full soft.
"And in thy arm thou hold Me warm,
And keep Me night and day,
And if I weep, and may not sleep,
Thou sing, By by, lullay."
"Now sweet Son, since it is come so,
That all is at Thy will,
I pray Thee grant to me a boon8,
If it be right and skill9,—
"That child or man, who will or can
Be merry on my day,
To bliss Thou bring—and I shall sing,
Lullay, by by, lullay."
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 44 CHRISTMAS TIME (DON’T LET THE BELLS END)
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my forty fourth selection.
"Christmas Time (Don't Let The Bells End)"
Written by Al Stillman, Francis Patterson, Justin Hawkins, Victor Young, Edwin Graham, Daniel Hawkins
Performed by The Darkness
Feigning joy and surprise at the gifts we despise over mulled wine with you
On the 25th day of the 12th month
The sleigh bells are in time ringing true
How we cling each Noel to that snowflake's hope in hell
that it won’t end
Don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, just let them ring in peace.
Well the weather is cruel,
and the season of Yule warms the heart, but it still hurts.
You’ve got your career, spent the best part of last year apart and it still hurts
So that’s why I pray each and every Christmas day that it won’t end
Don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, just let them ring in peace.
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Dust underneath the mistletoe leaves when you’re not here,
You went away upon boxing day,
Now how the hell am I gonna make it into the New Year.
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, just let them ring in peace.
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my fortieth selection.
“Jingle Bells”
Written by James Pierpont
Performed by Rosemary Clooney
Dashing through the snow
Over the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on bobtail ring'
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to laugh and sing
A sleighing song tonight!
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way.
Oh! what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh.
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way;
Oh! what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh.
A day or two ago
I thought I'd take a ride
And soon, Miss Fanny Bright
Was seated by my side,
The horse was lean and lank
Misfortune seemed his lot
He got into a drifted bank
And then we got upsot.
A day or two ago,
The story I must tell
I went out on the snow,
And on my back I fell;
A gent was riding by
In a one-horse open sleigh,
He laughed as there I sprawling lie,
But quickly drove away.
Now the ground is white
Go it while you're young,
Take the girls tonight
and sing this sleighing song;
Just get a bobtailed bay
Two forty as his speed
Hitch him to an open sleigh
And crack! You'll take the lead.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 52 THE WEXFORD CAROL (GOOD PEOPLE ALL, THIS CHRISTMASTIDE)
"The Wexford Carol" ("Good People All, This Christmastide")
Irish traditional
Good people all, this Christmas time,
Consider well and bear in mind
What our good God for us has done
In sending his beloved son
With Mary holy we should pray,
To God with love this Christmas Day
In Bethlehem upon that morn,
There was a blessed Messiah born.
The night before that happy tide,
The noble Virgin and her guide
Were long time seeking up and down
To find a lodging in the town.
But mark right well what came to pass
From every door repelled, alas,
As was foretold, their refuge all
Was but a humble ox's stall.
Near Bethlehem did shepherds keep
Their flocks of lambs and feeding sheep
To whom God's angel did appear
Which put the shepherds in great fear
Arise and go, the angels said
To Bethlehem, be not afraid
For there you'll find, this happy morn
A princely babe, sweet Jesus, born.
With thankful heart and joyful mind
The shepherds went the babe to find
And as God's angel had foretold
They did our Saviour Christ behold
Within a manger he was laid
And by his side a virgin maid
Attending on the Lord of Life
Who came on earth to end all strife.
There were three wise men from afar
Directed by a glorious star
And on they wandered night and day
Until they came where Jesus lay
And when they came unto that place
Where our beloved Messiah lay
They humbly cast them at his feet
With gifts of gold and incense sweet.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 41 JOLLY OLD SAINT NICHOLAS
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my forty first selection.
“Jolly Old Saint Nicholas”
Lyrics by Benjamin Hanby
Music composed by Johann Pachelbel
Jolly old St. Nicholas, Lean your ear this way!
Don't you tell a single soul, What I'm going to say;
Christmas Eve is coming soon, Now, you dear old man,
Whisper what you'll bring to me: Tell me if you can.
When the clock is striking twelve, When I'm fast asleep,
Down the chimney broad and black, With your pack you'll creep.
All the stockings you will find Hanging in a row;
Mine will be the shortest one, You'll be sure to know.
Johnny wants a pair of skates, Susie wants a sled
Nellie wants a picture book, yellow,blue and red
Now I think I`ll leave
to you
what to give the rest
Choose for me dear Santa Claus
you will know the best.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 50 TORCHES
"Torches"
Composed by John Joubert
Torches, torches, run with torches
all the way to Bethlehem!
Christ is born and now lies sleeping;
come and sing your song to him.
Ah, Ro-ro, Ro-ro, my baby,
Ah, Ro-ro, my love, Ro-ro;
sleep you well, my heart’s own darling,
while we sing you our Ro-ro.
Sing, my friends, and make you merry,
joy and mirth and joy again;
lo, he lives, the king of heaven,
now and evermore. Amen.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 42 THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my forty second selection.
“The Twelve Days Of Christmas”
A traditional folk melody by English composer Frederic Austin
Performed by The Spinners
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A partridge in a pear tree
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Ten Lords A-leaping
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eleven Pipers Piping
Ten Lords A-leaping
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Twelve Drummers Drumming
Eleven Pipers Piping
Ten Lords A-leaping
Nine Ladies Dancing
Eight Maids A-milking
Seven Swans A-swimming
Six Geese A-laying
Five Golden Rings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
And a partridge in a pear tree
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 46 SWEET LITTLE JESUS BOY
Sweet Little Jesus Boy
Music and lyrics written by Robert MacGimsey
Sweet little Jesus Boy
They made You be born in a manguh [manger]
Sweet little Holy chil'
Didn't know who You wus [was]
Didn't know You'd come to save us Lawd
To take our sins away
Our eyes wus bline [was blind]
We couldn't see
We didn't know who You wus [was]
Long time ago You wus bawn [was born]
Bawn in a manguh [manger] low
Sweet little Jesus Boy
De worl' [the world] treat You mean, Lawd
Treat me mean too
But please, Suh, fuhgive [Sir, forgive] us Lawd
We didn't know 'twas You
Sweet little Jesus Boy
Bawn [born] long time ago
Sweet little Holy chil'
An' we didn't know who You wus [was]
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 43 2000 MILES
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my forty third selection.
“2000 Miles”
Written By Chrissie Hynde
Performed by The Pretenders
He's gone two thousand miles
It's very far
The snow is falling down
Gets colder day by day
I miss you
The children will sing
He'll be back at Christmastime
In these frozen and silent nights
Sometimes in a dream you appear
Outside under the purple sky
Diamonds in the snow sparkle
Our hearts were singing
It felt like Christmastime
Two thousand miles
Is very far through the snow
I'll think of you
Wherever you go
He's gone two thousand miles
It's very far
The snow is falling down
Gets colder day by day
I miss you
I can hear people singing
It must be Christmastime
I hear people singing
It must be Christmastime
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 47 THIS ENDRIS NIGHT
This Endris Night
English traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown
This endris1 night I saw a sight,
A star as bright as day,
And ev'r among, a maiden sung,
"Lully, bye bye, lullay."
This lovely lady sat and sang,
And to her child did say,
"My son, my brother, father dear,
Why liest thou thus in hay?"
"My sweetest bird, 'tis thus required,
Though I be king veray,
But nevertheless I will not cease
To sing 'Bye bye, lullay.'"
The child then spake in his talking,
And to his mother did say,
"Yea, I am known as heaven-king
In crib though I be laid.
"For angels bright down on me light;
Thou knowest 'tis no nay.
And for that sight thou may delight
To sing, 'Bye bye, lullay.'"
"Now, sweet son, since thou art a king,
Why art thou laid in stall?
Why dost not order thy bedding
In some great kinges hall?
"Methinks5 'tis right that king or knight
Should lie in good array.
And then among, it were no wrong
To sing 'Bye bye, lullay.'"
"Mary mother, I am thy Child,
Though I be laid in stall;
For lords and dukes shall worship Me,
And so shall kingès all.
"Ye shall well see that kingès three
Shall come on this twelfth day.
For this behest give Me thy breast
And sing, By by, lullay."
"Now tell, sweet Son, I Thee do pray,
Thou art my Love and Dear—
How should I keep Thee to Thy pay6,
And make Thee glad of cheer?
"For all Thy will I would fulfill—
Thou knowest well, in fay7;
And for all this I will Thee kiss,
And sing, By by, lullay."
"My dear mother, when time it be,
Take thou Me up on loft,
And set Me then upon thy knee,
And handle me full soft.
"And in thy arm thou hold Me warm,
And keep Me night and day,
And if I weep, and may not sleep,
Thou sing, By by, lullay."
"Now sweet Son, since it is come so,
That all is at Thy will,
I pray Thee grant to me a boon8,
If it be right and skill9,—
"That child or man, who will or can
Be merry on my day,
To bliss Thou bring—and I shall sing,
Lullay, by by, lullay."
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 44 CHRISTMAS TIME (DON’T LET THE BELLS END)
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my forty fourth selection.
"Christmas Time (Don't Let The Bells End)"
Written by Al Stillman, Francis Patterson, Justin Hawkins, Victor Young, Edwin Graham, Daniel Hawkins
Performed by The Darkness
Feigning joy and surprise at the gifts we despise over mulled wine with you
On the 25th day of the 12th month
The sleigh bells are in time ringing true
How we cling each Noel to that snowflake's hope in hell
that it won’t end
Don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, just let them ring in peace.
Well the weather is cruel,
and the season of Yule warms the heart, but it still hurts.
You’ve got your career, spent the best part of last year apart and it still hurts
So that’s why I pray each and every Christmas day that it won’t end
Don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, just let them ring in peace.
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Dust underneath the mistletoe leaves when you’re not here,
You went away upon boxing day,
Now how the hell am I gonna make it into the New Year.
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, just let them ring in peace.
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Christmas time, don’t let the bells end
Thursday 22 December 2016
Christmas Poem Selection # 10
ARE YOU WEARING PLAITS?
Are you wearing plaits?
Seriously though are you
You’re going to wear plaits
To the annual Christmas do
And dressed as a milk maid
Perhaps Scandinavian born
You look like you’re dressed
For 1970s porn
BOXING DAY MORNING
If you wake up and feel like hell,
And if you really feel quite unwell
Then that is the best way for you to tell
That you really did Christmas well
CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY
Well I think it has happened
It is my darkest fear
Christmas is getting earlier
Each and every year
When I was at the mall today
I heard Bing Crosby croon
“White Christmas”
And it’s still only June
CHRISTMAS GREETINGS
This is the happy season
Of peace and goodwill
And joy to the world
Let good rule over ill
Merry Christmas world
From here to Brazil
Joy to the entire world
For peace is Gods will
CHRISTMAS OVER INDULGENCE
There isn’t any doubt or question
What caused this awful indigestion?
It wasn’t the five course lunch
Or all the sweets we had to munch
It wasn’t the Lager the Stout or the Shandy
It wasn’t the Wine the Scotch or the Brandy
No the culprit with out any doubts
Was the obligatory spoonful of sprouts
BY CAR, BY PLANE, BY TRAIN
They make the journey each year
By car, by plane, by train,
Travelling across the miles
To spend Christmas at home again
I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL CHRISTMAS
I can’t wait until Christmas
I just want to let you know
You have all my love
This Christmas tied up with a bow
BLESSED IS THE HOLY SEASON
Blessed is the holy season
Jesus Christ is the reason
Let the garlands be unfurled
For a gift of love unto the world
WHEN THE GIFTS HAVE ALL BEEN OPENED
When the gifts have all been opened
And the season starts to wane
When December days have passed by
And a New Year starts again
Let’s pack away the decorations
But let the love and peace remain
THE CROWDS ARE BUSTLING
The crowds are bustling
On the busy Christmas streets
The throng is blustering
In search of Christmas treats
Tills are ringing out their Christmas song
In the markets and the shopping mall
Everyone gets a piece of the action
Street traders, vendors, buskers and all
MERRY CHRISTMAS, MERRY CHRISTMAS
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,
I hear the bell chimes
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,
The best of all times
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,
The old and the new
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,
Merry Christmas to you
ALL ACROSS THIS COUNTRY
All across this country
All across this land
All across the world
His route is carefully planned
To keep ahead of the sun
To miss the no fly zones
Avoid the passenger planes
And steer clear of traffic cones
He must carefully time his mission
To a schedule carefully trialled
To ensure its full success
And not disappoint a single child
ARE YOU WEARING MISTLETOE?
Are you wearing Mistletoe?
I don’t mind kissing you below
Your little sprig of mistletoe
But you’re wearing it quite low
I LOVE THE SMELLS OF CHRISTMAS
I love the smells of Christmas
Like Cinnamon and Ginger
Roasted chestnuts piping hot
Gluhwein and Pine needles
So I feel sorry for the snowmen
As they can only smell carrot
CHRISTMAS
Christ the lord
Holy birth in Bethlehem
Regal child in David’s city
Infant of God
Sent from heaven above
To die for us
Messiah in a manger
Angelic miracle
Saviour of man
WE HAVE THE SAME CHRISTMAS WINE
We have the same Christmas wine
Every year on Christmas day
“I don't want any Brussels sprouts”
The family all shrilly say
Are you wearing plaits?
Seriously though are you
You’re going to wear plaits
To the annual Christmas do
And dressed as a milk maid
Perhaps Scandinavian born
You look like you’re dressed
For 1970s porn
BOXING DAY MORNING
If you wake up and feel like hell,
And if you really feel quite unwell
Then that is the best way for you to tell
That you really did Christmas well
CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY
Well I think it has happened
It is my darkest fear
Christmas is getting earlier
Each and every year
When I was at the mall today
I heard Bing Crosby croon
“White Christmas”
And it’s still only June
CHRISTMAS GREETINGS
This is the happy season
Of peace and goodwill
And joy to the world
Let good rule over ill
Merry Christmas world
From here to Brazil
Joy to the entire world
For peace is Gods will
CHRISTMAS OVER INDULGENCE
There isn’t any doubt or question
What caused this awful indigestion?
It wasn’t the five course lunch
Or all the sweets we had to munch
It wasn’t the Lager the Stout or the Shandy
It wasn’t the Wine the Scotch or the Brandy
No the culprit with out any doubts
Was the obligatory spoonful of sprouts
BY CAR, BY PLANE, BY TRAIN
They make the journey each year
By car, by plane, by train,
Travelling across the miles
To spend Christmas at home again
I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL CHRISTMAS
I can’t wait until Christmas
I just want to let you know
You have all my love
This Christmas tied up with a bow
BLESSED IS THE HOLY SEASON
Blessed is the holy season
Jesus Christ is the reason
Let the garlands be unfurled
For a gift of love unto the world
WHEN THE GIFTS HAVE ALL BEEN OPENED
When the gifts have all been opened
And the season starts to wane
When December days have passed by
And a New Year starts again
Let’s pack away the decorations
But let the love and peace remain
THE CROWDS ARE BUSTLING
The crowds are bustling
On the busy Christmas streets
The throng is blustering
In search of Christmas treats
Tills are ringing out their Christmas song
In the markets and the shopping mall
Everyone gets a piece of the action
Street traders, vendors, buskers and all
MERRY CHRISTMAS, MERRY CHRISTMAS
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,
I hear the bell chimes
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,
The best of all times
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,
The old and the new
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,
Merry Christmas to you
ALL ACROSS THIS COUNTRY
All across this country
All across this land
All across the world
His route is carefully planned
To keep ahead of the sun
To miss the no fly zones
Avoid the passenger planes
And steer clear of traffic cones
He must carefully time his mission
To a schedule carefully trialled
To ensure its full success
And not disappoint a single child
ARE YOU WEARING MISTLETOE?
Are you wearing Mistletoe?
I don’t mind kissing you below
Your little sprig of mistletoe
But you’re wearing it quite low
I LOVE THE SMELLS OF CHRISTMAS
I love the smells of Christmas
Like Cinnamon and Ginger
Roasted chestnuts piping hot
Gluhwein and Pine needles
So I feel sorry for the snowmen
As they can only smell carrot
CHRISTMAS
Christ the lord
Holy birth in Bethlehem
Regal child in David’s city
Infant of God
Sent from heaven above
To die for us
Messiah in a manger
Angelic miracle
Saviour of man
WE HAVE THE SAME CHRISTMAS WINE
We have the same Christmas wine
Every year on Christmas day
“I don't want any Brussels sprouts”
The family all shrilly say
Wednesday 21 December 2016
Christmas Poem Selection # 9
ARE YOU WEARING A SANTA HAT?
Are you wearing a Santa hat?
A festive little “tit for tat”
Well it really does suit
In fact you look very cute
Are you wearing it for fun?
Or do you have it set at anyone?
I think it looks very twee
I wish you were wearing it for me
UKIP ADVENT CALENDAR # 2
You can now buy a UKIP
Advent calendar
I’ve never seen one before
I don’t know what message is inside
Because for some reason
All you can hear is a slamming door
YOU’RE MY CHRISTMAS ANGEL
You’re my Christmas angel
You’re my very own Christmas delight.
Please stay with me tonight
REMEMBRANCE SHINES
Remembrance shines most
Bright, like the Christmas candle light,
During the Christmas rite
KEEP THE SPIRIT
Try to keep the spirit
Of Christmas true in your heart
Every day of the year
CHRISTMAS WISHES JUST FOR YOU
Christmas wishes just for you
Sent with love, tried and true
I send you love, I send you cheer,
I just wish we weren’t apart this year
MARIE CHRISTMAS
Marie Christmas
Loved the season
And she loved it
For a special reason
For it was the time
She would see her beau
As he flew his sleigh
Going ho ho ho
IF ANYONE LOVED CHRISTMAS
If anyone loved Christmas
Then it would be Molly
She loved the mistletoe
She loved the holly
She loved drinking eggnog
She loved feeling jolly
And between me and you
Mr Jolly liked it too
CHRISTMAS FELICITATIONS
Merry Christmas,
Good will to all men,
The festive season
Is with us once again,
The special holy day
Is growing very near
So Merry Christmas
And a Happy New Year
COLD CHRISTMAS
I can’t believe you did it
How typically bold
Dumping me at Christmas
How awfully cold
Still on the bright side
I won’t have to strain and heave
Rushing to find a gift
For you on Christmas Eve
I won’t spend the season
Living like a monk
I’ll be very merry
If not drunk as a skunk
But I can’t believe you did it
It’s a really shitty thing to do
Dumping me at Christmas
How typical of you
It’s probably for the best
So I won’t shed a tear
Have a merry Christmas
And a really shit New Year
CHRISTMAS CARD SELECTION
I bought a bumper selection
Of Christmas cards today
One hundred assorted cards
A real bargain I would say
But not a shepherd or angel
Nor a stable, a star or a king
Not a holy word of praise
No Jesus, no God not a thing
I told my wife of my disgust
She said not to make a fuss
But they had managed to take
Christ out of Christmas
ARE YOU WEARING A FESTIVE JUMPER?
Are you wearing a Festive Jumper?
Well its contents are rather bumper
It’s an interesting design you chose
I particularly like Rudolph’s nose
WHY DID THE TURKEY CROSS THE ROAD? # 1
Why did the turkey cross the road?
There was a very simple reason
It was due to a lack of options for a Turkey
During the Christmas season
GOOD KING WENCESLAS ORDERED OUT
Good King Wenceslas ordered out
On the feast of Stephen
An eighteen slice with extra cheese
Deep pan, crisp and even
SANTA'S FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG
Santa's favorite Christmas song
That he sings repeatedly
Is Santa Claus is coming to town
Sung by Elfish Presley
Are you wearing a Santa hat?
A festive little “tit for tat”
Well it really does suit
In fact you look very cute
Are you wearing it for fun?
Or do you have it set at anyone?
I think it looks very twee
I wish you were wearing it for me
UKIP ADVENT CALENDAR # 2
You can now buy a UKIP
Advent calendar
I’ve never seen one before
I don’t know what message is inside
Because for some reason
All you can hear is a slamming door
YOU’RE MY CHRISTMAS ANGEL
You’re my Christmas angel
You’re my very own Christmas delight.
Please stay with me tonight
REMEMBRANCE SHINES
Remembrance shines most
Bright, like the Christmas candle light,
During the Christmas rite
KEEP THE SPIRIT
Try to keep the spirit
Of Christmas true in your heart
Every day of the year
CHRISTMAS WISHES JUST FOR YOU
Christmas wishes just for you
Sent with love, tried and true
I send you love, I send you cheer,
I just wish we weren’t apart this year
MARIE CHRISTMAS
Marie Christmas
Loved the season
And she loved it
For a special reason
For it was the time
She would see her beau
As he flew his sleigh
Going ho ho ho
IF ANYONE LOVED CHRISTMAS
If anyone loved Christmas
Then it would be Molly
She loved the mistletoe
She loved the holly
She loved drinking eggnog
She loved feeling jolly
And between me and you
Mr Jolly liked it too
CHRISTMAS FELICITATIONS
Merry Christmas,
Good will to all men,
The festive season
Is with us once again,
The special holy day
Is growing very near
So Merry Christmas
And a Happy New Year
COLD CHRISTMAS
I can’t believe you did it
How typically bold
Dumping me at Christmas
How awfully cold
Still on the bright side
I won’t have to strain and heave
Rushing to find a gift
For you on Christmas Eve
I won’t spend the season
Living like a monk
I’ll be very merry
If not drunk as a skunk
But I can’t believe you did it
It’s a really shitty thing to do
Dumping me at Christmas
How typical of you
It’s probably for the best
So I won’t shed a tear
Have a merry Christmas
And a really shit New Year
CHRISTMAS CARD SELECTION
I bought a bumper selection
Of Christmas cards today
One hundred assorted cards
A real bargain I would say
But not a shepherd or angel
Nor a stable, a star or a king
Not a holy word of praise
No Jesus, no God not a thing
I told my wife of my disgust
She said not to make a fuss
But they had managed to take
Christ out of Christmas
ARE YOU WEARING A FESTIVE JUMPER?
Are you wearing a Festive Jumper?
Well its contents are rather bumper
It’s an interesting design you chose
I particularly like Rudolph’s nose
WHY DID THE TURKEY CROSS THE ROAD? # 1
Why did the turkey cross the road?
There was a very simple reason
It was due to a lack of options for a Turkey
During the Christmas season
GOOD KING WENCESLAS ORDERED OUT
Good King Wenceslas ordered out
On the feast of Stephen
An eighteen slice with extra cheese
Deep pan, crisp and even
SANTA'S FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG
Santa's favorite Christmas song
That he sings repeatedly
Is Santa Claus is coming to town
Sung by Elfish Presley
Tuesday 20 December 2016
Christmas Carols and Songs # 1
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 45 THE SUSSEX CAROL (ON CHRISTMAS NIGHT ALL CHRISTIANS SING)
The Sussex Carol (On Christmas Night All Christians Sing)
English traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown
On Christmas night all Christians sing
To hear the news the angels bring
On Christmas night all Christians sing
To hear the news the angels bring
News of great joy, news of great mirth
News of our merciful King's birth
Then why should men on earth be so sad
Since our Redeemer made us glad
Then why should men on earth be so sad
Since our Redeemer made us glad
When from our sin He set us free
All for to gain our liberty
When sin departs before His grace
Then life and health come in its place
When sin departs before His grace
Then life and health come in its place
Angels and men with joy may sing
All for to see the newborn King
All out of darkness we have light
Which made the angels sing this night
All out of darkness we have light
Which made the angels sing this night
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 36 COOL YULE
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my thirty sixth selection.
“Cool Yule”
Written by Steve Allen
Performed by Louis Armstrong
From Coney Island to The Sunset Strip
Somebody's gonna make a happy trip
Tonight, while the moon is bright
He's gonna have a bag of crazy toys
To give the groanies of the girls and boys
So dig, Santa comes on big
He'll come a callin' when the snow's the most
When all you cats are sleepin' warm as toast
And you gonna flip when Old Saint Nick
[Incomprehensible] a lick on the peppermint stick
He'll come a flyin' from a higher place
And fill the stocking by the fireplace
So you'll have a yule that's cool
Yeah, from Coney Island to The Sunset Strip
Somebody's gonna make a happy trip
Tonight, while the moon is bright
He's gonna have a bag of crazy toys
To give the groanies of the girls and boys
So dig, Santa comes on big
Come a callin' when the snow's the most
Cats are sleepin' warm as toast
And you gonna flip when the Old Saint Nick
[Incomprehensible] a lick on the peppermint stick
He'll come a flyin' from the higher place
Fill the stockings by the fireplace
So you'll have a yule that's cool
Have a yule that's cool
Yeah, cool yule
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 40 ROCKING CAROL
Rocking Carol
Czech traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown
Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir
We will lend a coat of fur
We will rock you, rock you, rock you
We will rock you, rock you, rock you
See the fur to keep you warm
Snugly round your tiny form.
Mary's little baby, sleep, sweetly sleep
Sleep in comfort, slumber deep
We will rock you, rock you, rock you
We will rock you, rock you, rock you
We will serve you all we can
Darling, darling little man.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 37 WHEN CHRISTMAS COMES TO TOWN
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my thirty seventh selection.
“When Christmas Comes to Town”
Written by Glen Ballard and Alan Silvestri
Performed by Matthew Hall and Meagan Moore
La La La La La La
La La La La La
La La La La La
I'm wishing on a star
And trying to believe
That even though its far
He'll find me Christmas Eve
I guess that Santa's busy
Cause he never comes around
I think of him
When Christmas comes to town
The best time of the year
When everyone comes home
With all this Christmas cheer
Its hard to be alone
Putting up the Christmas tree
With friends who come around
Its so much fun
When Christmas comes to town
Presents for the children
Wrapped in red and green
All the things Ive heard about
But never really seen
No one will be sleeping on the night of Christmas Eve
Hoping Santas on his way
Presents for the children
Wrapped in red and green
All the things Ive heard about
But never really seen
No one will be sleeping on the night of Christmas Eve
Hoping Santas on his way
When Santas sleigh bells ring
I listen all around
The herald angels sing
I never hear a sound
And all the dreams of children
Once lost will now be found
Thats all I want when Christmas comes to town
Thats all I want when Christmas comes to town
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 41 SANS DAY CAROL
Sans Day Carol
English (Cornish) traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown
Now the holly bears a berry as white as the milk,
And Mary bore Jesus, all wrapped up in silk:
And Mary bore Jesus our Saviour for to be,
And the first tree in the greenwood, it was the holly.
Holly! Holly!
And the first tree in the greenwood, it was the holly!
Now the holly bears a berry as green as the grass,
And Mary bore Jesus, who died on the cross:
Now the holly bears a berry as black as the coal,
And Mary bore Jesus, who died for us all:
Now the holly bears a berry, as blood is it red,
Then trust we our Saviour, who rose from the dead:
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 38 HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS (RIGHT DOWN SANTA CLAUS LANE)
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my thirty eighth selection.
“Here Comes Santa Claus (Right Down Santa Claus Lane)”
Written by Gene Autry and Oakley Haldeman
Performed by Bing Crosby and The Andrews Sisters
Here comes Santa Claus,
Here comes Santa Claus,
Right down Santa Claus Lane,
Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer
Pullin' on the reins.
Bells are ringin', children singin',
All is merry and bright.
Hang your stockings and say your prayers,
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight.
Here comes Santa Claus,
Here comes Santa Claus,
Right down Santa Claus Lane,
He's got a bag that's filled with toys
For boys and girls again.
Hear those sleigh bells jingle jangle,
Oh what a beautiful sight,
Jump in bed, and cover your head,
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight.
Here comes Santa Claus,
Here comes Santa Claus,
Right down Santa Claus Lane,
He'll come around when chimes ring out,
It's Christmas time again.
Peace on earth will come to all,
If we just follow the light,
Let's give thanks to the Lord above
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight.
Here comes Santa Claus,
Here comes Santa Claus,
Right down Santa Claus Lane,
Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer
Pullin' on the reins.
Bells are ringin', children singin',
All is merry and bright,
So jump in bed, and cover your head,
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight.
Peace on earth will come to all,
If we just follow the light,
So let's give thanks to the Lord above
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight,
Let's give thanks to the Lord above
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 49 THERE IS NO ROSE
"There Is No Rose"
Written by Benjamin Britten
There is no rose of such virtue,
as is the rose that bare Jesu.
There is no rose of such virtue,
as is the rose that bare Jesu.
Alleluia.
There is no rose of such virtue,
as is the rose that bare Jesu.
For in this rose contained
was heaven and earth in little space.
Resmiranda.
(Wondrous thing)
There is no rose of such virtue,
as is the rose that bare Jesu.
For by that rose we may well see
that he is God in persons three.
Pariforma.
(One in form)
There is no rose of such virtue,
as is the rose that bare Jesu.
The angels sungen the shepherds to:
Gloria in excelsis Deo.
(Glory to God in the highest)
Gaudeamus.
(Let us rejoice)
There is no rose of such virtue,
as is the rose that bare Jesu.
Leave all this worldly mirth
and follow we this joyful birth.
Transeamus.
(Let us cross over)
There is no rose of such virtue,
as is the rose that bare Jesu.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 39 FROSTY THE SNOWMAN
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my thirty ninth selection.
“Frosty the Snowman”
Written by Steve Nelson and Jack Rollins
Performed by Perry Como
Frosty the Snowman, was a jolly happy soul,
With a corn cob pipe and a button nose, and two eyes made of coal.
Frosty the Snowman, is a fairytale, they say.
He was made of snow, but the children know he came to life one day.
There must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found,
For when they placed it on his head, he began to dance around!
Oh, Frosty, the Snowman, was alive as he could be;
and the children say he could laugh and play,
just the same as you and me.
Thumpety thump, thump, thumpety thump, thump,
look at Frosty go.
Thumpety thump, thump, thumpety thump, thump,
over the hills of snow.
Frosty the Snowman, knew the sun was hot that day,
so he said, "Let's run, and we'll have some fun now, before I melt away."
Down to the village, with a broomstick in his hand,
Running here and there, all around the square,
sayin', "Catch me if you can."
He led them down the streets of town, right to the traffic cop;
and only paused a moment, when he heard him holler, "Stop!"
For Frosty, the Snowman, had to hurry on his way,
But he waved goodbye, sayin' "Don't cry, I'll be back again some day."
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 51 A VIRGIN UNSPOTTED (A VIRGIN MOST PURE)
"A Virgin Unspotted" ("A Virgin Most Pure")
English Traditional
A virgin unspotted, the prophet foretold,
Should bring forth a Savior, which now we behold,
To be our Redeemer from death, hell, and sin,
Which Adam’s transgression had wrappèd us in.
Aye and therefore be merry, set sorrow aside,
Christ Jesus our Savior was born on this tide.
At Bethlehem city in Jewry it was
That Joseph and Mary together did pass,
All for to be taxèd with many one moe [sic],
Great Caesar commanded the same should be so.
Refrain
But when they had entered the city so fair,
A number of people so mighty was there,
That Joseph and Mary, whose substance was small,
Could find in the inn there no lodging at all.
Refrain
Then were they constrained in a stable to lie,
Where horses and asses they used for to tie;
Their lodging so simple they took it no scorn,
But against the next morning our Savior was born.
Refrain
The King of all kings to this world being brought,
Small store of fine linen to wrap Him was sought,
But when she had swaddled her young Son so sweet,
Within an ox manger she laid Him to sleep.
Refrain
Then God sent an angel from Heaven so high,
To certain poor shepherds in fields where they lie,
And bade them no longer in sorrow to stay,
Because that our Savior was born on this day.
Refrain
Then presently after the shepherds did spy
Vast numbers of angels to stand in the sky;
They joyfully talkèd and sweetly did sing,
To God be all glory, our heavenly King.
Refrain
To teach us humility all this was done,
And learn we from thence haughty pride for to shun:
A manger His cradle who came from above,
The great God of mercy, of peace and of love.
Refrain
The Sussex Carol (On Christmas Night All Christians Sing)
English traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown
On Christmas night all Christians sing
To hear the news the angels bring
On Christmas night all Christians sing
To hear the news the angels bring
News of great joy, news of great mirth
News of our merciful King's birth
Then why should men on earth be so sad
Since our Redeemer made us glad
Then why should men on earth be so sad
Since our Redeemer made us glad
When from our sin He set us free
All for to gain our liberty
When sin departs before His grace
Then life and health come in its place
When sin departs before His grace
Then life and health come in its place
Angels and men with joy may sing
All for to see the newborn King
All out of darkness we have light
Which made the angels sing this night
All out of darkness we have light
Which made the angels sing this night
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 36 COOL YULE
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my thirty sixth selection.
“Cool Yule”
Written by Steve Allen
Performed by Louis Armstrong
From Coney Island to The Sunset Strip
Somebody's gonna make a happy trip
Tonight, while the moon is bright
He's gonna have a bag of crazy toys
To give the groanies of the girls and boys
So dig, Santa comes on big
He'll come a callin' when the snow's the most
When all you cats are sleepin' warm as toast
And you gonna flip when Old Saint Nick
[Incomprehensible] a lick on the peppermint stick
He'll come a flyin' from a higher place
And fill the stocking by the fireplace
So you'll have a yule that's cool
Yeah, from Coney Island to The Sunset Strip
Somebody's gonna make a happy trip
Tonight, while the moon is bright
He's gonna have a bag of crazy toys
To give the groanies of the girls and boys
So dig, Santa comes on big
Come a callin' when the snow's the most
Cats are sleepin' warm as toast
And you gonna flip when the Old Saint Nick
[Incomprehensible] a lick on the peppermint stick
He'll come a flyin' from the higher place
Fill the stockings by the fireplace
So you'll have a yule that's cool
Have a yule that's cool
Yeah, cool yule
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 40 ROCKING CAROL
Rocking Carol
Czech traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown
Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir
We will lend a coat of fur
We will rock you, rock you, rock you
We will rock you, rock you, rock you
See the fur to keep you warm
Snugly round your tiny form.
Mary's little baby, sleep, sweetly sleep
Sleep in comfort, slumber deep
We will rock you, rock you, rock you
We will rock you, rock you, rock you
We will serve you all we can
Darling, darling little man.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 37 WHEN CHRISTMAS COMES TO TOWN
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my thirty seventh selection.
“When Christmas Comes to Town”
Written by Glen Ballard and Alan Silvestri
Performed by Matthew Hall and Meagan Moore
La La La La La La
La La La La La
La La La La La
I'm wishing on a star
And trying to believe
That even though its far
He'll find me Christmas Eve
I guess that Santa's busy
Cause he never comes around
I think of him
When Christmas comes to town
The best time of the year
When everyone comes home
With all this Christmas cheer
Its hard to be alone
Putting up the Christmas tree
With friends who come around
Its so much fun
When Christmas comes to town
Presents for the children
Wrapped in red and green
All the things Ive heard about
But never really seen
No one will be sleeping on the night of Christmas Eve
Hoping Santas on his way
Presents for the children
Wrapped in red and green
All the things Ive heard about
But never really seen
No one will be sleeping on the night of Christmas Eve
Hoping Santas on his way
When Santas sleigh bells ring
I listen all around
The herald angels sing
I never hear a sound
And all the dreams of children
Once lost will now be found
Thats all I want when Christmas comes to town
Thats all I want when Christmas comes to town
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 41 SANS DAY CAROL
Sans Day Carol
English (Cornish) traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown
Now the holly bears a berry as white as the milk,
And Mary bore Jesus, all wrapped up in silk:
And Mary bore Jesus our Saviour for to be,
And the first tree in the greenwood, it was the holly.
Holly! Holly!
And the first tree in the greenwood, it was the holly!
Now the holly bears a berry as green as the grass,
And Mary bore Jesus, who died on the cross:
Now the holly bears a berry as black as the coal,
And Mary bore Jesus, who died for us all:
Now the holly bears a berry, as blood is it red,
Then trust we our Saviour, who rose from the dead:
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 38 HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS (RIGHT DOWN SANTA CLAUS LANE)
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my thirty eighth selection.
“Here Comes Santa Claus (Right Down Santa Claus Lane)”
Written by Gene Autry and Oakley Haldeman
Performed by Bing Crosby and The Andrews Sisters
Here comes Santa Claus,
Here comes Santa Claus,
Right down Santa Claus Lane,
Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer
Pullin' on the reins.
Bells are ringin', children singin',
All is merry and bright.
Hang your stockings and say your prayers,
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight.
Here comes Santa Claus,
Here comes Santa Claus,
Right down Santa Claus Lane,
He's got a bag that's filled with toys
For boys and girls again.
Hear those sleigh bells jingle jangle,
Oh what a beautiful sight,
Jump in bed, and cover your head,
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight.
Here comes Santa Claus,
Here comes Santa Claus,
Right down Santa Claus Lane,
He'll come around when chimes ring out,
It's Christmas time again.
Peace on earth will come to all,
If we just follow the light,
Let's give thanks to the Lord above
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight.
Here comes Santa Claus,
Here comes Santa Claus,
Right down Santa Claus Lane,
Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer
Pullin' on the reins.
Bells are ringin', children singin',
All is merry and bright,
So jump in bed, and cover your head,
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight.
Peace on earth will come to all,
If we just follow the light,
So let's give thanks to the Lord above
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight,
Let's give thanks to the Lord above
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 49 THERE IS NO ROSE
"There Is No Rose"
Written by Benjamin Britten
There is no rose of such virtue,
as is the rose that bare Jesu.
There is no rose of such virtue,
as is the rose that bare Jesu.
Alleluia.
There is no rose of such virtue,
as is the rose that bare Jesu.
For in this rose contained
was heaven and earth in little space.
Resmiranda.
(Wondrous thing)
There is no rose of such virtue,
as is the rose that bare Jesu.
For by that rose we may well see
that he is God in persons three.
Pariforma.
(One in form)
There is no rose of such virtue,
as is the rose that bare Jesu.
The angels sungen the shepherds to:
Gloria in excelsis Deo.
(Glory to God in the highest)
Gaudeamus.
(Let us rejoice)
There is no rose of such virtue,
as is the rose that bare Jesu.
Leave all this worldly mirth
and follow we this joyful birth.
Transeamus.
(Let us cross over)
There is no rose of such virtue,
as is the rose that bare Jesu.
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 39 FROSTY THE SNOWMAN
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my thirty ninth selection.
“Frosty the Snowman”
Written by Steve Nelson and Jack Rollins
Performed by Perry Como
Frosty the Snowman, was a jolly happy soul,
With a corn cob pipe and a button nose, and two eyes made of coal.
Frosty the Snowman, is a fairytale, they say.
He was made of snow, but the children know he came to life one day.
There must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found,
For when they placed it on his head, he began to dance around!
Oh, Frosty, the Snowman, was alive as he could be;
and the children say he could laugh and play,
just the same as you and me.
Thumpety thump, thump, thumpety thump, thump,
look at Frosty go.
Thumpety thump, thump, thumpety thump, thump,
over the hills of snow.
Frosty the Snowman, knew the sun was hot that day,
so he said, "Let's run, and we'll have some fun now, before I melt away."
Down to the village, with a broomstick in his hand,
Running here and there, all around the square,
sayin', "Catch me if you can."
He led them down the streets of town, right to the traffic cop;
and only paused a moment, when he heard him holler, "Stop!"
For Frosty, the Snowman, had to hurry on his way,
But he waved goodbye, sayin' "Don't cry, I'll be back again some day."
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 51 A VIRGIN UNSPOTTED (A VIRGIN MOST PURE)
"A Virgin Unspotted" ("A Virgin Most Pure")
English Traditional
A virgin unspotted, the prophet foretold,
Should bring forth a Savior, which now we behold,
To be our Redeemer from death, hell, and sin,
Which Adam’s transgression had wrappèd us in.
Aye and therefore be merry, set sorrow aside,
Christ Jesus our Savior was born on this tide.
At Bethlehem city in Jewry it was
That Joseph and Mary together did pass,
All for to be taxèd with many one moe [sic],
Great Caesar commanded the same should be so.
Refrain
But when they had entered the city so fair,
A number of people so mighty was there,
That Joseph and Mary, whose substance was small,
Could find in the inn there no lodging at all.
Refrain
Then were they constrained in a stable to lie,
Where horses and asses they used for to tie;
Their lodging so simple they took it no scorn,
But against the next morning our Savior was born.
Refrain
The King of all kings to this world being brought,
Small store of fine linen to wrap Him was sought,
But when she had swaddled her young Son so sweet,
Within an ox manger she laid Him to sleep.
Refrain
Then God sent an angel from Heaven so high,
To certain poor shepherds in fields where they lie,
And bade them no longer in sorrow to stay,
Because that our Savior was born on this day.
Refrain
Then presently after the shepherds did spy
Vast numbers of angels to stand in the sky;
They joyfully talkèd and sweetly did sing,
To God be all glory, our heavenly King.
Refrain
To teach us humility all this was done,
And learn we from thence haughty pride for to shun:
A manger His cradle who came from above,
The great God of mercy, of peace and of love.
Refrain
Christmas Poem Selection # 8
ARE YOU WEARING A SANTA SUIT?
Are you wearing a Santa Suit?
I have to say you do look cute
I wonder if there might just be
A little room in there for me
UKIP ADVENT CALENDAR # 1
You can now buy a UKIP
Advent calendar
I’ve never seen one before
There are no Christmas messages
It just says Fuck off
Behind every door
NEW BABY AT CHRISTMAS
Oh how our hearts melted
When you were born
A gift to us from God
Given on Christmas morn
STALKS AND STEMS
On a bed of haulm
In a stable bare
The son off God
Is laying there
MARY CHRISTMAS
Before Mary Christmas
Married Santa Claus
She had some concerns
And decided to take pause
To discuss a pre-nup
Within the current laws
She was not concerned
With any character flaws
She just wanted the security
Of a get out Claus
THEY ARE THE THREE KINGS
There are three things
That Christmas brings
They are the three kings
Trimming and dec-king
Gratefully than-king,
And memory ma-king,
EVER SO HUMBLE
When toward my bed I stumble
My wife greets me with a grumble
“Hello my little apple crumble”
I say as in her nightgown I fumble
My advances are met with a mumble
“Dearest, my desire is quite humble
A little bit of rough and tumble”
Her reply is yet another mumble
But we did have a Christmas fumble
I DON’T WANT TO WISH YOU
I don’t want to wish you
A happy holiday
No that I will not say
I’m not going to wish you
A happy yuletide
No that I will not abide
I’m not going to wish you
A happy festive period,
No and the reasons are myriad
I’m not going to wish you
A happy winter festival
No, that isn’t suitable
I’m going to wish to you
A very happy Christmas
So have a very Happy Christmas
MY CHRISTMAS GIFT TO YOU
My Christmas gift to you
Is not wrapped up in coloured paper,
Tied with ribbon and bows
And hidden beneath the tree
It’s visible for all to see
It is written on my face
Like ink on parchment
It spills out from my heart
Like boiling milk from a pan
It emanates from my every pore
And surrounds us all
My Christmas gift to you
Is my never ending love
PS – there are gifts under the tree as well
A CHRISTMAS DREAM
It was just another dream
That I awoke from that morn
It was a very familiar dream
A regular one rather well worn
The theme was the same as usual
The dream was all about you
Just another stupid dream
That will never come true
But it wasn’t exactly the same
It was a variation on a theme
This time it had changed
It was a Christmas dream
But this time it felt so real
Will it ever come true?
This Christmas dream of mine
About spending Christmas with you
CHRISTMAS IS THE PERFECT TIME
Christmas is the perfect time
For the perfect Christmas rhyme
So when the bells of Christmas chime
Have the happiest Christmas time
ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS JUMPER?
Are you wearing a Christmas Jumper?
Well its contents look rather bumper
The flashing lights I should mention
Are not needed to attract my attention
WHY DID THE TURKEY CROSS THE ROAD? # 4
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Well contrary to the fable
It was to avoid ending up
On the Christmas table
DO NOT EAT CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS
Do not eat Christmas decorations
They are not nutritious in the slightest
And apart from that very simple fact
You will end up with bad tinsilitis
I ALWAYS COME OUT IN A RASH
I always come out in a rash
It happens every Xmas
I’ve been to see a doctor
And he thinks its Eczemas
Are you wearing a Santa Suit?
I have to say you do look cute
I wonder if there might just be
A little room in there for me
UKIP ADVENT CALENDAR # 1
You can now buy a UKIP
Advent calendar
I’ve never seen one before
There are no Christmas messages
It just says Fuck off
Behind every door
NEW BABY AT CHRISTMAS
Oh how our hearts melted
When you were born
A gift to us from God
Given on Christmas morn
STALKS AND STEMS
On a bed of haulm
In a stable bare
The son off God
Is laying there
MARY CHRISTMAS
Before Mary Christmas
Married Santa Claus
She had some concerns
And decided to take pause
To discuss a pre-nup
Within the current laws
She was not concerned
With any character flaws
She just wanted the security
Of a get out Claus
THEY ARE THE THREE KINGS
There are three things
That Christmas brings
They are the three kings
Trimming and dec-king
Gratefully than-king,
And memory ma-king,
EVER SO HUMBLE
When toward my bed I stumble
My wife greets me with a grumble
“Hello my little apple crumble”
I say as in her nightgown I fumble
My advances are met with a mumble
“Dearest, my desire is quite humble
A little bit of rough and tumble”
Her reply is yet another mumble
But we did have a Christmas fumble
I DON’T WANT TO WISH YOU
I don’t want to wish you
A happy holiday
No that I will not say
I’m not going to wish you
A happy yuletide
No that I will not abide
I’m not going to wish you
A happy festive period,
No and the reasons are myriad
I’m not going to wish you
A happy winter festival
No, that isn’t suitable
I’m going to wish to you
A very happy Christmas
So have a very Happy Christmas
MY CHRISTMAS GIFT TO YOU
My Christmas gift to you
Is not wrapped up in coloured paper,
Tied with ribbon and bows
And hidden beneath the tree
It’s visible for all to see
It is written on my face
Like ink on parchment
It spills out from my heart
Like boiling milk from a pan
It emanates from my every pore
And surrounds us all
My Christmas gift to you
Is my never ending love
PS – there are gifts under the tree as well
A CHRISTMAS DREAM
It was just another dream
That I awoke from that morn
It was a very familiar dream
A regular one rather well worn
The theme was the same as usual
The dream was all about you
Just another stupid dream
That will never come true
But it wasn’t exactly the same
It was a variation on a theme
This time it had changed
It was a Christmas dream
But this time it felt so real
Will it ever come true?
This Christmas dream of mine
About spending Christmas with you
CHRISTMAS IS THE PERFECT TIME
Christmas is the perfect time
For the perfect Christmas rhyme
So when the bells of Christmas chime
Have the happiest Christmas time
ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS JUMPER?
Are you wearing a Christmas Jumper?
Well its contents look rather bumper
The flashing lights I should mention
Are not needed to attract my attention
WHY DID THE TURKEY CROSS THE ROAD? # 4
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Well contrary to the fable
It was to avoid ending up
On the Christmas table
DO NOT EAT CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS
Do not eat Christmas decorations
They are not nutritious in the slightest
And apart from that very simple fact
You will end up with bad tinsilitis
I ALWAYS COME OUT IN A RASH
I always come out in a rash
It happens every Xmas
I’ve been to see a doctor
And he thinks its Eczemas
Monday 19 December 2016
Christmas Poem Selection # 7
ARE YOU WEARING IT FOR A REASON?
Are you wearing it for a reason?
That outfit for the Christmas season
Yes it does come around very soon
But you do realise that it’s only June
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 13
Twas the night before Christmas
And all thru the dwelling
the fragrances of Christmas
Was all we were smelling
IT’S ALL DOWN TO YOU
It’s all down to you
You are the number one
Thanks for everything
For another job well done
You’re the best of the best
Happy Christmas Mum
WITHOUT SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER
Without Santa’s little helper
Christmas would be very hard
I don’t think I could do Christmas
Without my credit card
A WINTER BLUNDERLAND
Door bells ring, are you listening,
In the street, snow is glistening,
Out in the night,
There’s a hideous sight
Your mother in her winter underwear
WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLIND REINDEER?
What do you call a blind reindeer?
During the governments austere stance
“Fit for work and no longer eligible
For any disability allowance”
CHRISTMAS SWEATER
My sister in law
Fills a sweater well
I think she’s rather hot
The truth to tell
For Christmas
I bought for her
A button fronted
Lambs wool sweater
I want to see her in it
I just can’t wait
She has a figure
To really fascinate
It has ten buttons
It’ll be a tight fit
Very figure hugging
That’s how I like it
She has breasts
Quite first rate
She has curves
That really titillate
She has a figure
To really fascinate
Of the ten buttons
She’ll only fasten eight
MERRY CHRISTMAS HO HO HO
Merry Christmas Ho Ho Ho
Is Santa’s motto
And Santa thought that
He’d won the lotto
When he scored big
With three girls so hot-o
They were doing things
In Santa’s grotto
That Santa’s and Elves
Should definitely not-o
But merry Christmas
Ho Ho Ho is his motto
ITS NOT THAT I’M ANTI SOCIAL
I won’t come to the pub
Thank you all the same
Not in celebration
No thanks I will refrain
I will go to church
Thank you all the same
To celebrate the day
That the Lord came
UP AT THE CRACK OF DAWN
Don’t worry that the little ones
Will be up at the crack of dawn
It is worth it to see the simple joy
In their eyes on Christmas morn
SOMETHING MAGICAL IS HAPPENING
Something magical is happening
Can you feel it?
Something special is on its way
You all love it
Christmas is coming and hearts
Are full to brimming
Because Christmas is abiding love
With all the trimmings
ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS SWEATER?
Are you wearing a Christmas sweater?
Well this season just keeps on getting better
It’s not that I like novelty knitwear
But I can ogle your chest and you won’t care
SO YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE CLAUSTROPHOBIC
So you think that you are Claustrophobic
Well I doubt that is a phobia of yours
As I should tell you that Claustrophobia
Is definitely not a fear of Santa Claus
AFTER A LONG FLIGHT ON THE SLEIGH
After a long flight on the sleigh
Listening to Sleigh bells jingle
It wasn’t milk and cookies
That made Santa’s taste buds tingle
It was the thought of Mrs. Claus’s
Freshly made Crisp Cringle
THERE WAS A MEXICAN SHEPHERD
There was a Mexican shepherd
Who once worked for my dad
And every Christmas time
He wished us Fleece Navidad
Are you wearing it for a reason?
That outfit for the Christmas season
Yes it does come around very soon
But you do realise that it’s only June
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 13
Twas the night before Christmas
And all thru the dwelling
the fragrances of Christmas
Was all we were smelling
IT’S ALL DOWN TO YOU
It’s all down to you
You are the number one
Thanks for everything
For another job well done
You’re the best of the best
Happy Christmas Mum
WITHOUT SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER
Without Santa’s little helper
Christmas would be very hard
I don’t think I could do Christmas
Without my credit card
A WINTER BLUNDERLAND
Door bells ring, are you listening,
In the street, snow is glistening,
Out in the night,
There’s a hideous sight
Your mother in her winter underwear
WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLIND REINDEER?
What do you call a blind reindeer?
During the governments austere stance
“Fit for work and no longer eligible
For any disability allowance”
CHRISTMAS SWEATER
My sister in law
Fills a sweater well
I think she’s rather hot
The truth to tell
For Christmas
I bought for her
A button fronted
Lambs wool sweater
I want to see her in it
I just can’t wait
She has a figure
To really fascinate
It has ten buttons
It’ll be a tight fit
Very figure hugging
That’s how I like it
She has breasts
Quite first rate
She has curves
That really titillate
She has a figure
To really fascinate
Of the ten buttons
She’ll only fasten eight
MERRY CHRISTMAS HO HO HO
Merry Christmas Ho Ho Ho
Is Santa’s motto
And Santa thought that
He’d won the lotto
When he scored big
With three girls so hot-o
They were doing things
In Santa’s grotto
That Santa’s and Elves
Should definitely not-o
But merry Christmas
Ho Ho Ho is his motto
ITS NOT THAT I’M ANTI SOCIAL
I won’t come to the pub
Thank you all the same
Not in celebration
No thanks I will refrain
I will go to church
Thank you all the same
To celebrate the day
That the Lord came
UP AT THE CRACK OF DAWN
Don’t worry that the little ones
Will be up at the crack of dawn
It is worth it to see the simple joy
In their eyes on Christmas morn
SOMETHING MAGICAL IS HAPPENING
Something magical is happening
Can you feel it?
Something special is on its way
You all love it
Christmas is coming and hearts
Are full to brimming
Because Christmas is abiding love
With all the trimmings
ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS SWEATER?
Are you wearing a Christmas sweater?
Well this season just keeps on getting better
It’s not that I like novelty knitwear
But I can ogle your chest and you won’t care
SO YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE CLAUSTROPHOBIC
So you think that you are Claustrophobic
Well I doubt that is a phobia of yours
As I should tell you that Claustrophobia
Is definitely not a fear of Santa Claus
AFTER A LONG FLIGHT ON THE SLEIGH
After a long flight on the sleigh
Listening to Sleigh bells jingle
It wasn’t milk and cookies
That made Santa’s taste buds tingle
It was the thought of Mrs. Claus’s
Freshly made Crisp Cringle
THERE WAS A MEXICAN SHEPHERD
There was a Mexican shepherd
Who once worked for my dad
And every Christmas time
He wished us Fleece Navidad
Sunday 18 December 2016
Christmas Poem Selection # 6
ARE YOU WEARING ELFISH EARS?
Are you wearing elfish ears?
It’s a very interesting feature
Though more appropriate
On a woodland creature
And not really suitable
For one in your position
You are let me remind you
The leader of the opposition
SAD CHRISTMAS
There is a pain in my chest
Where my heart used to be
There are tears in my eyes
That are blinding me
Let the season pass
Without my participation
Christmas won't be merry
Is my sad anticipation
CHRISTMAS SURPRISE
She likes surprises
And at Christmas even more
So I do what I can
To give her surprises galore
Each year it gets harder
But I do what I can
This year I will tell her
I haven’t always been a man
THE SALVATION ARMY BELLS
The sound of Christmas really tells
In the ring of the Salvation Army bells
Calling out into the dark
Calling out to the heart
Ringing out in the throng
Singing out a heralding song
Give a little, not a lot
Give a little for their lot
They have little, but are not less
Give your coins and let them bless
A tale of generosity tells
In the ring of the Salvation Army’s bells
THE GLAD THE MAD AND THE BAD
Well it’s that time of year again
The time when we feign gladness
When we all get caught up
In the annual collective madness
The time of year when we pretend
The world is not full of badness
THE GIFT OF GIVING
Gift giving
Is in itself a gift
Get it right
And watch spirits lift
Get it wrong
And they’ll be miffed
And undoubtedly
You’ll get short shrift
It isn’t in every one
Not everyone is able
So be warned
As you wrap and label
That a turkey
May not be confined to the table
CHRISTMAS SPIRIT
Christmas spirit,
No matter what you might think
Doesn’t come in a bottle
It isn’t a drink
It cannot be supped
But can be consumed
But its presence
Cannot be presumed
It must be cherished
Where it is found
Respectfully nurtured
And then spread around
THE BEST CHRISTMAS ACTOR OF ALL TIME # 2
The best Christmas actor of all time
Will this one isn’t actually very
But she sounds like she should be
And so the winner is Holly Berry
CHRISTMAS FERN
Christmas ferns
Abundant and evergreen
With Pinnate leaves
In lance-shaped fronds
Dense clusters of
Featherlike leaflets
In wide display
Decorate the
Christmas landscape
Of North America
ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS HAT?
Are you wearing a Christmas Hat?
Sitting so perfectly on your head
A gorgeous little tit for tat
White trimmed and crimson red
LET’S RAISE A GLASS TO MUM # 1
Let’s raise a glass to Mum
And I speak for us all when I say
You have triumphed once again
In your quiet efficient way
You have managed to conjure up
Another perfect Christmas day
ON A STILL CLEAR NIGHT
The shepherds rested in the firelight
When they were woken on a still clear night
By heavens choir hastening them
To go forth unto Bethlehem
The heavenly choir
Sang of Gods desire
To give the world his son
His one and only one
The choir continued to sing
And announced the birth of a king
MERRY, MERRY
The doctor scratches his head
And is almost struck dumb
Why did Santa Claus have
A mince pie stuck up his bum
The only answer was
On a pie he must have sat
So the doctor said
“I’ll give you some cream to put on that”
A WINTER WONDERLAND
My bell rings, are you listening,
On your face, your lips are glistening,
A beautiful sight,
I’ll be happy tonight,
Rummaging in your winter underwear
OLIVE THE 10TH REINDEER
Olive the other reindeer,
Used to laugh and call him names
She never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games
So he planted drugs in her stall
And got her chucked off the team
Are you wearing elfish ears?
It’s a very interesting feature
Though more appropriate
On a woodland creature
And not really suitable
For one in your position
You are let me remind you
The leader of the opposition
SAD CHRISTMAS
There is a pain in my chest
Where my heart used to be
There are tears in my eyes
That are blinding me
Let the season pass
Without my participation
Christmas won't be merry
Is my sad anticipation
CHRISTMAS SURPRISE
She likes surprises
And at Christmas even more
So I do what I can
To give her surprises galore
Each year it gets harder
But I do what I can
This year I will tell her
I haven’t always been a man
THE SALVATION ARMY BELLS
The sound of Christmas really tells
In the ring of the Salvation Army bells
Calling out into the dark
Calling out to the heart
Ringing out in the throng
Singing out a heralding song
Give a little, not a lot
Give a little for their lot
They have little, but are not less
Give your coins and let them bless
A tale of generosity tells
In the ring of the Salvation Army’s bells
THE GLAD THE MAD AND THE BAD
Well it’s that time of year again
The time when we feign gladness
When we all get caught up
In the annual collective madness
The time of year when we pretend
The world is not full of badness
THE GIFT OF GIVING
Gift giving
Is in itself a gift
Get it right
And watch spirits lift
Get it wrong
And they’ll be miffed
And undoubtedly
You’ll get short shrift
It isn’t in every one
Not everyone is able
So be warned
As you wrap and label
That a turkey
May not be confined to the table
CHRISTMAS SPIRIT
Christmas spirit,
No matter what you might think
Doesn’t come in a bottle
It isn’t a drink
It cannot be supped
But can be consumed
But its presence
Cannot be presumed
It must be cherished
Where it is found
Respectfully nurtured
And then spread around
THE BEST CHRISTMAS ACTOR OF ALL TIME # 2
The best Christmas actor of all time
Will this one isn’t actually very
But she sounds like she should be
And so the winner is Holly Berry
CHRISTMAS FERN
Christmas ferns
Abundant and evergreen
With Pinnate leaves
In lance-shaped fronds
Dense clusters of
Featherlike leaflets
In wide display
Decorate the
Christmas landscape
Of North America
ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS HAT?
Are you wearing a Christmas Hat?
Sitting so perfectly on your head
A gorgeous little tit for tat
White trimmed and crimson red
LET’S RAISE A GLASS TO MUM # 1
Let’s raise a glass to Mum
And I speak for us all when I say
You have triumphed once again
In your quiet efficient way
You have managed to conjure up
Another perfect Christmas day
ON A STILL CLEAR NIGHT
The shepherds rested in the firelight
When they were woken on a still clear night
By heavens choir hastening them
To go forth unto Bethlehem
The heavenly choir
Sang of Gods desire
To give the world his son
His one and only one
The choir continued to sing
And announced the birth of a king
MERRY, MERRY
The doctor scratches his head
And is almost struck dumb
Why did Santa Claus have
A mince pie stuck up his bum
The only answer was
On a pie he must have sat
So the doctor said
“I’ll give you some cream to put on that”
A WINTER WONDERLAND
My bell rings, are you listening,
On your face, your lips are glistening,
A beautiful sight,
I’ll be happy tonight,
Rummaging in your winter underwear
OLIVE THE 10TH REINDEER
Olive the other reindeer,
Used to laugh and call him names
She never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games
So he planted drugs in her stall
And got her chucked off the team
Saturday 17 December 2016
Christmas Poem Selection # 5
ARE YOU WEARING A BUNCH OF MISTLETOE?
Are you wearing a bunch of mistletoe?
Well you certainly mean business
Isn’t that overkill? “Less is more” after all
But you know what you’re doing I guess
Are you aiming at a particular beau?
Do you have a target in mind?
Or are you more indiscriminate
Scattergun like or something of the kind
Oh so there is an object of your affections
Is it perhaps someone that I know?
It’s someone I know very well indeed?
I still don’t know the identity of your beau
It’s me? I’m the one you desire?
You want to kiss me beneath the mistletoe?
THE TREE OF EVERGREEN
A top the tree of evergreen
See the star of Christmas sit
While scattered on its boughs
The coloured lights are lit
On the branches baubles hang
Glorious globes of glass delight
Candy canes and little gifts
And silver tinsel twinkling bright
And below the tree of evergreen
Adorned in festive dress
Sits the pile of Christmas gifts
Awaited with eagerness
I WOULD GIVE TO YOU ON CHRISTMAS MORNING
I would give to you
On Christmas morning
The gift of love
Contained within my heart
So I could deliver it
And to show good faith
I would wrap it in my soul
Then you would have the best of me
For with no heart and soul
I am but an empty shell
So I would give you that as well
And then you would have all of me
CHRISTMAS IS A GIFT
Christmas is a gift
A gift to the world
Of infinite grace
A special gift
Of redemption for all
Don’t cast it aside
CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS
Celebrate Christmas
With Christ, in his house
With his love in your heart
You can’t celebrate him
In a pub, or in gluttony and avarice
At the shopping mall
LONELY THIS CHRISTMAS
I want you with me at Christmas
I want you to be at home
And I know it’s not possible
But I just don’t want to be alone
MISSING YOU
We want you home at Christmas
We want you to spend it with us
But we understand the reason why
And we promise to try not to cry
We will spend Christmas on our own
Until you come marching safely home
THE CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS
When first you hear
A seasonal refrain
You know its time
To climb the ladder again
Up to the attic
Amongst the dust
To find the box
That is a must.
Where your heart will lift
At its very sight
And when in hand
You’ll grip it tight
Such is its precious nature
A box of magic
Of which its loss
Would be so tragic
For so special are
The boxes contents
Because this box
Contains the ornaments
That will grace the tree
And each trinket and angel
Every bell and bauble
Has a special tale to tell
For every ornament
That hangs upon the tree
Holds its own
Christmas memory
CHAVS CHRISTMAS # 4
So we could go Christmas shopping
I kept the kids home from school today
Because if I’d gone on my own
I’d have gotten the wrong sizes, so hey
THE BEST CHRISTMAS ACTOR OF ALL TIME # 1
The best Christmas actor of all time
Is a character actor so sublime
And there can only be one winner
And that would be Yule Brynner
JW ADVENT CALENDAR # 2
You can now buy a Jehovah’s Witness
Advent calendar
I’ve never seen one before
I don’t know what message is inside
Because for some reason
You can’t open a single door
CHRISTINGLE MINGLE
It is the season that makes my senses tingle
The time of year when the sleigh bells jingle
And we come together for the Christingle mingle
When the Clauses and the Grinch’s intermingle
And happy clappy’s and traditionalists comingle
As we celebrate the service of Christingle
OH SANTA CLAUS THE BELLS THE BELLS ARE CALLING
Oh Santa Claus the bells the bells are calling
From town to town, where goodwill doth abide
The summers gone, the autumn leaves have fallen
We’re near, we’re near another Christmas tide
So come ye back to us on Christmas Evening
When all the land is hushed and white with snow
And we will leave your milk and cookies
Oh Santa Claus, you know we love you so
HER WASSAIL
She would sing for her supper
And wail for her wassail
To get her turkey dinner
And a pint of Christmas ale
ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS TOP?
Are you wearing a Christmas Top?
Well I very much like what I see
Because there isn’t very much of it
And the contents are bursting free
Are you wearing a bunch of mistletoe?
Well you certainly mean business
Isn’t that overkill? “Less is more” after all
But you know what you’re doing I guess
Are you aiming at a particular beau?
Do you have a target in mind?
Or are you more indiscriminate
Scattergun like or something of the kind
Oh so there is an object of your affections
Is it perhaps someone that I know?
It’s someone I know very well indeed?
I still don’t know the identity of your beau
It’s me? I’m the one you desire?
You want to kiss me beneath the mistletoe?
THE TREE OF EVERGREEN
A top the tree of evergreen
See the star of Christmas sit
While scattered on its boughs
The coloured lights are lit
On the branches baubles hang
Glorious globes of glass delight
Candy canes and little gifts
And silver tinsel twinkling bright
And below the tree of evergreen
Adorned in festive dress
Sits the pile of Christmas gifts
Awaited with eagerness
I WOULD GIVE TO YOU ON CHRISTMAS MORNING
I would give to you
On Christmas morning
The gift of love
Contained within my heart
So I could deliver it
And to show good faith
I would wrap it in my soul
Then you would have the best of me
For with no heart and soul
I am but an empty shell
So I would give you that as well
And then you would have all of me
CHRISTMAS IS A GIFT
Christmas is a gift
A gift to the world
Of infinite grace
A special gift
Of redemption for all
Don’t cast it aside
CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS
Celebrate Christmas
With Christ, in his house
With his love in your heart
You can’t celebrate him
In a pub, or in gluttony and avarice
At the shopping mall
LONELY THIS CHRISTMAS
I want you with me at Christmas
I want you to be at home
And I know it’s not possible
But I just don’t want to be alone
MISSING YOU
We want you home at Christmas
We want you to spend it with us
But we understand the reason why
And we promise to try not to cry
We will spend Christmas on our own
Until you come marching safely home
THE CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS
When first you hear
A seasonal refrain
You know its time
To climb the ladder again
Up to the attic
Amongst the dust
To find the box
That is a must.
Where your heart will lift
At its very sight
And when in hand
You’ll grip it tight
Such is its precious nature
A box of magic
Of which its loss
Would be so tragic
For so special are
The boxes contents
Because this box
Contains the ornaments
That will grace the tree
And each trinket and angel
Every bell and bauble
Has a special tale to tell
For every ornament
That hangs upon the tree
Holds its own
Christmas memory
CHAVS CHRISTMAS # 4
So we could go Christmas shopping
I kept the kids home from school today
Because if I’d gone on my own
I’d have gotten the wrong sizes, so hey
THE BEST CHRISTMAS ACTOR OF ALL TIME # 1
The best Christmas actor of all time
Is a character actor so sublime
And there can only be one winner
And that would be Yule Brynner
JW ADVENT CALENDAR # 2
You can now buy a Jehovah’s Witness
Advent calendar
I’ve never seen one before
I don’t know what message is inside
Because for some reason
You can’t open a single door
CHRISTINGLE MINGLE
It is the season that makes my senses tingle
The time of year when the sleigh bells jingle
And we come together for the Christingle mingle
When the Clauses and the Grinch’s intermingle
And happy clappy’s and traditionalists comingle
As we celebrate the service of Christingle
OH SANTA CLAUS THE BELLS THE BELLS ARE CALLING
Oh Santa Claus the bells the bells are calling
From town to town, where goodwill doth abide
The summers gone, the autumn leaves have fallen
We’re near, we’re near another Christmas tide
So come ye back to us on Christmas Evening
When all the land is hushed and white with snow
And we will leave your milk and cookies
Oh Santa Claus, you know we love you so
HER WASSAIL
She would sing for her supper
And wail for her wassail
To get her turkey dinner
And a pint of Christmas ale
ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS TOP?
Are you wearing a Christmas Top?
Well I very much like what I see
Because there isn’t very much of it
And the contents are bursting free
Friday 16 December 2016
Christmas Poem Selection # 4
ARE YOU WEARING AN ELF OUTFIT?
Are you wearing an elf outfit?
Does it come with all the kit?
Pixie boots and a floppy hat
The green tights and all that
If you come to the grotto with me
You can call me Santa and sit on my knee
CHAVS CHRISTMAS # 3
I kept Billie home from school
For Christmas shopping
Doing it during school time
When the malls are empty
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 17
Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the house
Not a creature was stirring not even a louse
But there is a reason and here’s the tell
It’s just been fumigated and stank like hell
JW ADVENT CALENDAR # 1
You can now buy a Jehovah’s Witness
Advent calendar
I’ve never seen one before
There are no Christmas messages
It just says Fuck off
Behind every door
WHEN CHRISTMAS WEARS ITS TINSELLED GOWN
When Christmas wears its tinselled gown
Joy fills the streets around the town
We must banish those who wear a frown
As we celebrate the King with the holy crown
CHRISTMAS GATEAU
It is time for me to make
My most special Christmas cake
The only thing you need to start
Is the most joyous open heart
Then add by the pound
All the love that can be found
Humble ingredients like
Thankfulness and Gratitude
Lashings of positive attitude
Laced with Christmas cheer
And a cup of Christmas beer
An abundance of good wishes
With lots of hugs and kisses
Not forgetting laughter and fun
Enough to serve everyone
And to complete my Gateau
I garnish with sprigs of mistletoe
BRANDISHING YOUR MISTLETOE
It’s Christmas Eve so off you go
Start brandishing your mistletoe
March off purposely through the snow
To find yourself a Christmas ho
MISSING EVERYONE
I miss everyone so much, that I fear
I’ll dampen everyone’s Christmas cheer
Then your emailed movie clip appears
And when I’ve wiped away my misty tears
The long miles seem to disappear
And feel more like you are all near
So I put away my lonely fears
Have another glass that cheers
And I’ll see you all on New Years
FILL MY CUP WITH CHEER
Fill my cup with cheer
Dear Lord
But let me be merry
And not drunk
Let me be a companion
And not a burden
Let me be happy
But not foolish
Let me know
When its time to go
And deliver me
Safely to my door
ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS DRESS?
Are you wearing a Christmas Dress?
The big red ribbon is particularly pleasant
I’m itching to pull at that bow
So when do I get to open my present
MY SISTER WAS AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS
My sister was afraid of Santa Claus
The thought of him made her sick
The rest of us all loved him to bits
But she was clearly Claus-trophobic
DO YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA BRINGS
Do you know what Santa brings naughty
Boys and girls so they are not excluded?
It’s not coal anymore so don’t think that
It batteries, labelled "toy not included"
WALNUTS IN WINTER
Walnuts in winter
Along with filberts, almonds
And fleshy Brazils
YOUNG LOVERS CUDDLE
Young lovers cuddle
Listening to carols sung
While the Yule log burns
SNOWDROPS IN WINTER
Snowdrops in winter
Mother Nature’s heralds
Of the coming spring
Are you wearing an elf outfit?
Does it come with all the kit?
Pixie boots and a floppy hat
The green tights and all that
If you come to the grotto with me
You can call me Santa and sit on my knee
CHAVS CHRISTMAS # 3
I kept Billie home from school
For Christmas shopping
Doing it during school time
When the malls are empty
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 17
Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the house
Not a creature was stirring not even a louse
But there is a reason and here’s the tell
It’s just been fumigated and stank like hell
JW ADVENT CALENDAR # 1
You can now buy a Jehovah’s Witness
Advent calendar
I’ve never seen one before
There are no Christmas messages
It just says Fuck off
Behind every door
WHEN CHRISTMAS WEARS ITS TINSELLED GOWN
When Christmas wears its tinselled gown
Joy fills the streets around the town
We must banish those who wear a frown
As we celebrate the King with the holy crown
CHRISTMAS GATEAU
It is time for me to make
My most special Christmas cake
The only thing you need to start
Is the most joyous open heart
Then add by the pound
All the love that can be found
Humble ingredients like
Thankfulness and Gratitude
Lashings of positive attitude
Laced with Christmas cheer
And a cup of Christmas beer
An abundance of good wishes
With lots of hugs and kisses
Not forgetting laughter and fun
Enough to serve everyone
And to complete my Gateau
I garnish with sprigs of mistletoe
BRANDISHING YOUR MISTLETOE
It’s Christmas Eve so off you go
Start brandishing your mistletoe
March off purposely through the snow
To find yourself a Christmas ho
MISSING EVERYONE
I miss everyone so much, that I fear
I’ll dampen everyone’s Christmas cheer
Then your emailed movie clip appears
And when I’ve wiped away my misty tears
The long miles seem to disappear
And feel more like you are all near
So I put away my lonely fears
Have another glass that cheers
And I’ll see you all on New Years
FILL MY CUP WITH CHEER
Fill my cup with cheer
Dear Lord
But let me be merry
And not drunk
Let me be a companion
And not a burden
Let me be happy
But not foolish
Let me know
When its time to go
And deliver me
Safely to my door
ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS DRESS?
Are you wearing a Christmas Dress?
The big red ribbon is particularly pleasant
I’m itching to pull at that bow
So when do I get to open my present
MY SISTER WAS AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS
My sister was afraid of Santa Claus
The thought of him made her sick
The rest of us all loved him to bits
But she was clearly Claus-trophobic
DO YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA BRINGS
Do you know what Santa brings naughty
Boys and girls so they are not excluded?
It’s not coal anymore so don’t think that
It batteries, labelled "toy not included"
WALNUTS IN WINTER
Walnuts in winter
Along with filberts, almonds
And fleshy Brazils
YOUNG LOVERS CUDDLE
Young lovers cuddle
Listening to carols sung
While the Yule log burns
SNOWDROPS IN WINTER
Snowdrops in winter
Mother Nature’s heralds
Of the coming spring
Thursday 15 December 2016
Christmas Poem Selection # 3
ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS SLIPPERS?
Are you wearing Christmas slippers?
They look very cute it must be said
But I think they’d look much cuter
If I was to see them under my bed
CHRISTMAS (ACROSTIC) # 2
Cinnamon
Hot Chocolate
Rum Cakes
Icing
Stollen
Turkey
Mulled wine
Apple cider
Stuffing
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 16
Twas the night before Christmas and every abode
Was shrouded in silence all down the road
But no house was empty, they were all in their homes
They were hiding from carollers from St Jerome’s
WHEN SANTA ISN’T WORKING # 2
When Santa isn’t working
With a happy ho ho ho
He likes to ballroom dance
Going quick quick slow
Then he dances backwards
And he goes oh oh oh
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 332
Flour of England, fruit of Spain,
Met together in a shower of rain;
Let’s make Christmas pudding again
NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS ARE JUST
New Year’s resolutions are just
Lies that we tell one another
And are something that go in
One year and out the other
IF YOU’RE A TAKE THAT FAN
If you’re a Take That fan
Then Christmas could be shocking
If you’re expecting to find
An Orange in your stocking
RUDOLPH WAS SO OBNOXIOUS
Rudolph was so obnoxious that the
Other reindeer threatened to strike
He was really very unpopular and they
Thought he was RUDE-olph more like
ARE YOU WEARING A GREEN CHRISTMAS OUTFIT?
Are you wearing a green Christmas outfit?
You look very beautiful in it
In fact you look very cute
In your Santa’s little helper suit
A Christmas hat sits atop your curls
In a way only suited to girls
A beautiful green velvet dress
And white fur trim to impress
Striped woollen legs of green and white
Are they stocking or tights?
Stockings would be in reason
More in keeping with the season
But I would not disparage woolly tights
They too have their own delights
Come and help me trim the tree
And say you dressed this way for me?
CHAVS CHRISTMAS # 2
I kept Lily home from school
For Christmas shopping
Because it’s the very best time
To get all the presents on the list
Especially when you believe
That shoplifting isn’t a crime
I JUST OPENED MY PRESENT
My old aunt just popped round
With a Christmas gift for me
It wasn’t what I was expecting
It was a tweedy dye Mankini
“I hope it’s the one you wanted”
I didn’t know what to say really
I couldn’t understand it
I asked for a CD by Mancini
WHEN RUDOLPH ARRIVED
When Rudolph arrived
Cupid was so pleased
It meant the other reindeer
Had someone new to tease
I AM BLESSED WITH FRIENDS AT CHRISTMAS
I am blessed with Friends
Some of them are fruity
Some are soaked in alcohol
Some of them are nutty
Some are sweet
Some add spice
Some add zest
Some smell nice
But when mixed together
And yuletide is upon us
They become without doubt
The fruit cake of Christmas
A PERFECT GIFT
I just bought my wife a new fridge
I’ve just been online and paid for it
I’m so excited I can’t wait to see
Her face light up when she opens it
CHRISTMAS COMPLIMENT
As I was basting the bird
A thought, to me occurred
It was only at this time of peace
That Turkey and Greece,
As with hot fat you smother,
Compliment each other
Are you wearing Christmas slippers?
They look very cute it must be said
But I think they’d look much cuter
If I was to see them under my bed
CHRISTMAS (ACROSTIC) # 2
Cinnamon
Hot Chocolate
Rum Cakes
Icing
Stollen
Turkey
Mulled wine
Apple cider
Stuffing
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 16
Twas the night before Christmas and every abode
Was shrouded in silence all down the road
But no house was empty, they were all in their homes
They were hiding from carollers from St Jerome’s
WHEN SANTA ISN’T WORKING # 2
When Santa isn’t working
With a happy ho ho ho
He likes to ballroom dance
Going quick quick slow
Then he dances backwards
And he goes oh oh oh
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 332
Flour of England, fruit of Spain,
Met together in a shower of rain;
Let’s make Christmas pudding again
NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS ARE JUST
New Year’s resolutions are just
Lies that we tell one another
And are something that go in
One year and out the other
IF YOU’RE A TAKE THAT FAN
If you’re a Take That fan
Then Christmas could be shocking
If you’re expecting to find
An Orange in your stocking
RUDOLPH WAS SO OBNOXIOUS
Rudolph was so obnoxious that the
Other reindeer threatened to strike
He was really very unpopular and they
Thought he was RUDE-olph more like
ARE YOU WEARING A GREEN CHRISTMAS OUTFIT?
Are you wearing a green Christmas outfit?
You look very beautiful in it
In fact you look very cute
In your Santa’s little helper suit
A Christmas hat sits atop your curls
In a way only suited to girls
A beautiful green velvet dress
And white fur trim to impress
Striped woollen legs of green and white
Are they stocking or tights?
Stockings would be in reason
More in keeping with the season
But I would not disparage woolly tights
They too have their own delights
Come and help me trim the tree
And say you dressed this way for me?
CHAVS CHRISTMAS # 2
I kept Lily home from school
For Christmas shopping
Because it’s the very best time
To get all the presents on the list
Especially when you believe
That shoplifting isn’t a crime
I JUST OPENED MY PRESENT
My old aunt just popped round
With a Christmas gift for me
It wasn’t what I was expecting
It was a tweedy dye Mankini
“I hope it’s the one you wanted”
I didn’t know what to say really
I couldn’t understand it
I asked for a CD by Mancini
WHEN RUDOLPH ARRIVED
When Rudolph arrived
Cupid was so pleased
It meant the other reindeer
Had someone new to tease
I AM BLESSED WITH FRIENDS AT CHRISTMAS
I am blessed with Friends
Some of them are fruity
Some are soaked in alcohol
Some of them are nutty
Some are sweet
Some add spice
Some add zest
Some smell nice
But when mixed together
And yuletide is upon us
They become without doubt
The fruit cake of Christmas
A PERFECT GIFT
I just bought my wife a new fridge
I’ve just been online and paid for it
I’m so excited I can’t wait to see
Her face light up when she opens it
CHRISTMAS COMPLIMENT
As I was basting the bird
A thought, to me occurred
It was only at this time of peace
That Turkey and Greece,
As with hot fat you smother,
Compliment each other
Wednesday 14 December 2016
Christmas Poem Selection # 2
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 15
Twas the night before Christmas and thru the bungalow
Not a creature was stirring in the fireside glow
They’d all been evacuated because of the flood
And the living room floor was all covered in mud
ARE YOU WEARING A RED CHRISTMAS OUTFIT?
Are you wearing a red Christmas outfit?
You look very beautiful in it
In fact you look very cute
In your Santa’s little helper suit
A Christmas hat sits atop your curls
In a way only suited to girls
A beautiful red velvet dress
And white fur trim to impress
Striped woollen legs of red and white
Are they stocking or tights?
Stockings would be in reason
More in keeping with the season
But I would not disparage woolly tights
They too have their own delights
Come and help me trim the tree
And say you dressed this way for me?
CHAVS CHRISTMAS # 1
I kept the kids home from school
For the big Christmas shop
Because during school time
You rush round without a stop
ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS ANKLE SOCKS?
Are you wearing Christmas ankle socks?
I’ve often pictured them on you
And you don’t need anything else
Just wearing the socks will do
FOR STRESS FREE SHOPPING
For stress free shopping
Follow this golden rule
And get all of it done
While the kids are at school
PICKUP # 6
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
“Can I have your picture?”
You ask to establish a premise
“So I can show Santa Claus
What I want for Christmas?”
WHEN SANTA ISN’T WORKING # 1
When Santa isn’t working
With a happy ho ho ho
He likes to tend his garden
With his Hoe Hoe Hoe
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 250
Little Robin Redbreast sat upon a tree
He makes a pretty picture doesn’t he?
Little Robin Redbreast in the winter hard
He makes a pretty picture on a Christmas card
THEY WON’T BE PLAYING MUSICAL CHAIRS
They won’t be playing musical chairs
In palaces or Royal homes
Prince Charles prefers to play a variant
Called Game of Thrones
A PRESS RELEASE FROM SANTA CLAUS STATED
A press release from Santa Claus stated
That the Poles reputation had been blighted
So Mobile phones were banned, the number
Of indecent Elfie’s was the reason cited
CHRISTMAS (ACROSTIC) # 1
Crackers
Holly
Ribbons
Ivy
Stars
Tinsel
Mistletoe
Angels
Stockings
SNOW BLIND
Since the snow began to fall
My wife has done nothing at all
But stare blankly through the window
As the snow lays snow on snow
If it continues in this way
We shall have a white Christmas day
But my wife stares through the glass
As the snow falls thick and fast
Sadly if it gets any worse out side
I'll have to let her come inside
BLESSED DAY
It was the day when Jesus Christ was born
That long, long ago first Christmas Morn,
The child whose coming had been foretold
A child more precious than diamonds or gold
God’s great gift to us on that blessed day
That most glorious first Christmas day
MY GOOSE WAS COOKED
On Christmas morning
Into the kitchen I snook
And as my wife cooked the Goose
I goosed the cook
A TIME OF MIRACLES
The cynics say of miracles
That they are a scarce commodity,
If they happen at all
But to my mind
There is nothing more miraculous
Than the birth of a child
It may be the most common placed
Of miracles
But it is miraculous
Nonetheless
THE PIPES OF CHRISTMAS PAST
The pipes of Christmas past
Carry with every merry blast
Seasonal joy, when they play
Their tunes of Christmas day
Twas the night before Christmas and thru the bungalow
Not a creature was stirring in the fireside glow
They’d all been evacuated because of the flood
And the living room floor was all covered in mud
ARE YOU WEARING A RED CHRISTMAS OUTFIT?
Are you wearing a red Christmas outfit?
You look very beautiful in it
In fact you look very cute
In your Santa’s little helper suit
A Christmas hat sits atop your curls
In a way only suited to girls
A beautiful red velvet dress
And white fur trim to impress
Striped woollen legs of red and white
Are they stocking or tights?
Stockings would be in reason
More in keeping with the season
But I would not disparage woolly tights
They too have their own delights
Come and help me trim the tree
And say you dressed this way for me?
CHAVS CHRISTMAS # 1
I kept the kids home from school
For the big Christmas shop
Because during school time
You rush round without a stop
ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS ANKLE SOCKS?
Are you wearing Christmas ankle socks?
I’ve often pictured them on you
And you don’t need anything else
Just wearing the socks will do
FOR STRESS FREE SHOPPING
For stress free shopping
Follow this golden rule
And get all of it done
While the kids are at school
PICKUP # 6
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
“Can I have your picture?”
You ask to establish a premise
“So I can show Santa Claus
What I want for Christmas?”
WHEN SANTA ISN’T WORKING # 1
When Santa isn’t working
With a happy ho ho ho
He likes to tend his garden
With his Hoe Hoe Hoe
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 250
Little Robin Redbreast sat upon a tree
He makes a pretty picture doesn’t he?
Little Robin Redbreast in the winter hard
He makes a pretty picture on a Christmas card
THEY WON’T BE PLAYING MUSICAL CHAIRS
They won’t be playing musical chairs
In palaces or Royal homes
Prince Charles prefers to play a variant
Called Game of Thrones
A PRESS RELEASE FROM SANTA CLAUS STATED
A press release from Santa Claus stated
That the Poles reputation had been blighted
So Mobile phones were banned, the number
Of indecent Elfie’s was the reason cited
CHRISTMAS (ACROSTIC) # 1
Crackers
Holly
Ribbons
Ivy
Stars
Tinsel
Mistletoe
Angels
Stockings
SNOW BLIND
Since the snow began to fall
My wife has done nothing at all
But stare blankly through the window
As the snow lays snow on snow
If it continues in this way
We shall have a white Christmas day
But my wife stares through the glass
As the snow falls thick and fast
Sadly if it gets any worse out side
I'll have to let her come inside
BLESSED DAY
It was the day when Jesus Christ was born
That long, long ago first Christmas Morn,
The child whose coming had been foretold
A child more precious than diamonds or gold
God’s great gift to us on that blessed day
That most glorious first Christmas day
MY GOOSE WAS COOKED
On Christmas morning
Into the kitchen I snook
And as my wife cooked the Goose
I goosed the cook
A TIME OF MIRACLES
The cynics say of miracles
That they are a scarce commodity,
If they happen at all
But to my mind
There is nothing more miraculous
Than the birth of a child
It may be the most common placed
Of miracles
But it is miraculous
Nonetheless
THE PIPES OF CHRISTMAS PAST
The pipes of Christmas past
Carry with every merry blast
Seasonal joy, when they play
Their tunes of Christmas day
Tuesday 13 December 2016
Christmas Poem Selection # 1
CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 5
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During the Christmas season
Walk up and say something shocking
“How about I slip down your chimney,
After midnight and fill your stocking”
ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS EARRINGS?
Are you wearing Christmas earrings?
They’re really quite adorable
Would it be inappropriate to say?
That I really like your baubles
CHRISTMAS ROSE
Christmas rose
The Evergreen beauty
Winter-blooming flowers
Of white or purplish hue
In wide display
Decorate the European
Landscape at Christmas
IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 3
Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Let’s silence those objections
How would he navigate the globe?
And all its many intersections
When a man is totally incapable
Of ever asking for directions
IT WAS CHRISTMAS DAY IN MY MUMS HOUSE
It was Christmas day in Mum’s house
And the table was laden with fare
And the love flowed like the wine
Oh how I wish I was back there
CHRISTMAS ESSENCE
You are my Christmas essence
My yuletide effervescence
You breathe life into me
Oh how you appeal to me
Dressed in your Christmas tights
And the Santa sweater that fits just right
Oh you naughty little Christmas flirt
Wearing your short red Christmas skirt
You are the spirit of my season
You are the rhyme and the reason
But as you spread your Christmas joy
Pleasing every girl and boy
There is something you don’t know
I feel stirrings down below
Because when your sleigh bells jingle
It makes all my senses tingle
Because you so excite me
How I want you to delight me
You are my Christmas dish
You are my every Christmas wish
Every year I make this plea
To let me unwrap you beneath the tree
But again you are not among my presents
But you will remain my Christmas essence
NEW FOR CHRISTMAS
There is to be a new sanitary product
That is set to make cash registers ring
A new tampon in the shops by Christmas
That comes complete with a tinsel string
The retailers are extremely confident
And believe that sales will be myriad
But they have been at pains to stress
They are only meant for the festive period
CHRISTMAS DOESN’T LIVE HERE ANYMORE
There will be no wreath on the door
Not a single decoration will be seen
Cards will be recycled unopened
Christmas doesn’t live here anymore
There will be no gifts beneath the tree
There will be no turkey with all the trimmings
There will be no festive merriment
Christmas doesn’t live here anymore
There will be no season’s greetings
There will be no Christmas joy
There will be no festive spirit
Christmas doesn’t live here anymore
This Christmas day will be like any other day
A day full of abject loneliness
For since my darling joined the angels
Christmas doesn’t live here anymore
IN THE BLEAK MID WINTER
I’m not looking for a white Christmas
For my life is already a cold place
Bleak and forbidding
So I have no need of snow
Carpets of white everywhere
Winter fills my every day
My life is perpetual winter
Because you have taken my warmth
You were the heart of me
You sent the blood coursing through me
You were the sun in my sky
Now my life is tundra
And I am just a frozen husk
To numb to exist
CHRISTMAS SUPERSTITION
Is Christmas day on Friday this year?
I think that it is, that’s what I hear
I’m one of those superstitious men
So let's hope it's not the 13th then
THINKING ABOUT CHRISTMAS
I’m sitting here in dread
Memories of you filling my head
Sitting here so totally alone
Afraid of Christmas on my own
It was always you and me
Doing Christmas so merrily
Then you had to go and die
Leaving me with no goodbye
Losing you was such a blow
I know you didn’t choose to go
But I’m the one that’s left
I’m the one lonely and bereft
And for that simple reason
I close the curtains on the season
I will make my Christmas solitary
And not have to try to be merry
And I will avoid the usual jollity
All our friends and their frivolity
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 14
Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the Crescent
Not a creature was stirring not even a peasant
But that in itself is not uncommon to see
When you live in a gated community
ARE YOU WEARING STRIPY STOCKINGS?
Are you wearing stripy stockings?
It must be that time of the year again
I know you think they’re cute, but
Your legs look like candy canes
THE PIPES OF CHRISTMAS PAST BLOW OUT
The pipes of Christmas past blow out
The melodies of yesteryear
With memories to warm the heart
And bring a sentimental tear
A DOG ISN’T JUST FOR CHRISTMAS
A dog isn’t just for Christmas
That’s what they say
And they are correct
It’s also nice cold on Boxing Day
TRANSVESTITE CHRISTMAS
Do you think that cross dressers
Find Christmas is merry?
I bet you think they are sad
Well on the contrary
I really love Christmas
As I can eat, drink and be Mary
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During the Christmas season
Walk up and say something shocking
“How about I slip down your chimney,
After midnight and fill your stocking”
ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS EARRINGS?
Are you wearing Christmas earrings?
They’re really quite adorable
Would it be inappropriate to say?
That I really like your baubles
CHRISTMAS ROSE
Christmas rose
The Evergreen beauty
Winter-blooming flowers
Of white or purplish hue
In wide display
Decorate the European
Landscape at Christmas
IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 3
Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Let’s silence those objections
How would he navigate the globe?
And all its many intersections
When a man is totally incapable
Of ever asking for directions
IT WAS CHRISTMAS DAY IN MY MUMS HOUSE
It was Christmas day in Mum’s house
And the table was laden with fare
And the love flowed like the wine
Oh how I wish I was back there
CHRISTMAS ESSENCE
You are my Christmas essence
My yuletide effervescence
You breathe life into me
Oh how you appeal to me
Dressed in your Christmas tights
And the Santa sweater that fits just right
Oh you naughty little Christmas flirt
Wearing your short red Christmas skirt
You are the spirit of my season
You are the rhyme and the reason
But as you spread your Christmas joy
Pleasing every girl and boy
There is something you don’t know
I feel stirrings down below
Because when your sleigh bells jingle
It makes all my senses tingle
Because you so excite me
How I want you to delight me
You are my Christmas dish
You are my every Christmas wish
Every year I make this plea
To let me unwrap you beneath the tree
But again you are not among my presents
But you will remain my Christmas essence
NEW FOR CHRISTMAS
There is to be a new sanitary product
That is set to make cash registers ring
A new tampon in the shops by Christmas
That comes complete with a tinsel string
The retailers are extremely confident
And believe that sales will be myriad
But they have been at pains to stress
They are only meant for the festive period
CHRISTMAS DOESN’T LIVE HERE ANYMORE
There will be no wreath on the door
Not a single decoration will be seen
Cards will be recycled unopened
Christmas doesn’t live here anymore
There will be no gifts beneath the tree
There will be no turkey with all the trimmings
There will be no festive merriment
Christmas doesn’t live here anymore
There will be no season’s greetings
There will be no Christmas joy
There will be no festive spirit
Christmas doesn’t live here anymore
This Christmas day will be like any other day
A day full of abject loneliness
For since my darling joined the angels
Christmas doesn’t live here anymore
IN THE BLEAK MID WINTER
I’m not looking for a white Christmas
For my life is already a cold place
Bleak and forbidding
So I have no need of snow
Carpets of white everywhere
Winter fills my every day
My life is perpetual winter
Because you have taken my warmth
You were the heart of me
You sent the blood coursing through me
You were the sun in my sky
Now my life is tundra
And I am just a frozen husk
To numb to exist
CHRISTMAS SUPERSTITION
Is Christmas day on Friday this year?
I think that it is, that’s what I hear
I’m one of those superstitious men
So let's hope it's not the 13th then
THINKING ABOUT CHRISTMAS
I’m sitting here in dread
Memories of you filling my head
Sitting here so totally alone
Afraid of Christmas on my own
It was always you and me
Doing Christmas so merrily
Then you had to go and die
Leaving me with no goodbye
Losing you was such a blow
I know you didn’t choose to go
But I’m the one that’s left
I’m the one lonely and bereft
And for that simple reason
I close the curtains on the season
I will make my Christmas solitary
And not have to try to be merry
And I will avoid the usual jollity
All our friends and their frivolity
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 14
Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the Crescent
Not a creature was stirring not even a peasant
But that in itself is not uncommon to see
When you live in a gated community
ARE YOU WEARING STRIPY STOCKINGS?
Are you wearing stripy stockings?
It must be that time of the year again
I know you think they’re cute, but
Your legs look like candy canes
THE PIPES OF CHRISTMAS PAST BLOW OUT
The pipes of Christmas past blow out
The melodies of yesteryear
With memories to warm the heart
And bring a sentimental tear
A DOG ISN’T JUST FOR CHRISTMAS
A dog isn’t just for Christmas
That’s what they say
And they are correct
It’s also nice cold on Boxing Day
TRANSVESTITE CHRISTMAS
Do you think that cross dressers
Find Christmas is merry?
I bet you think they are sad
Well on the contrary
I really love Christmas
As I can eat, drink and be Mary
Monday 12 December 2016
Christmas Selection Box # 20
CHRISTMAS BUSH
The Christmas bush
Is Australian obviously
And isn’t really a bush at all
It’s in fact a shrub or tree
With red flowers for selection
As Christmas decoration
IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 2
Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Why has this not come up before?
If it were left to a man everything
Would come from the corner store
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CHRISTMAS CONSULTANT
The Christmas Consultant, Owen (David Hasselhoff), is a highly sought-after consultant hired by a workaholic mother Maya Fletcher (Caroline Rhea) to get her and her dysfunctional family through the holidays.
Everybody loves Owen, much to Maya’s annoyance, and he has the perfect solution to each and every problem as it arises but it turns out that his own life isn’t how he paints it.
It isn’t the best example of a Christmas movie but its well worth a watch if for no other reason than to see Maya meltdown at the Christmas Eve party.
IT WAS CHRISTMAS EVE IN DAD’S HOUSE
It was Christmas Eve in Dad’s house,
And not a hint of the season in sight
No stockings hang by the fire side
He was such a miserable old shite
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 49 A SPACEMAN CAME TRAVELLING
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my forty ninth selection.
“A Spaceman Came Travelling”
Written and Performed by Chris de Burgh
A spaceman came travelling on his ship from afar,
'Twas light years of time since his mission did start,
And over a village he halted his craft,
And it hung in the sky like a star, just like a star...
He followed a light and came down to a shed,
Where a mother and child were lying there on a bed,
A bright light of silver shone round his head,
And he had the face of an angel, and they were afraid...
Then the stranger spoke, he said "Do not fear,
I come from a planet a long way from here,
And I bring a message for mankind to hear,"
And suddenly the sweetest music filled the air...
And it went La La...
Peace and goodwill to all men, and love for the child...
This lovely music went trembling through the ground,
And many were wakened on hearing that sound,
And travellers on the road, the village they found,
By the light of that ship in the sky, which shone all round...
And just before dawn at the paling of the sky,
The stranger returned and said "Now I must fly,
When two thousand years of your time has gone by,
This song will begin once again, to a baby's cry..."
And it went La La ... This song will begin once again
To a baby's cry...
And it goes La La... Peace and goodwill to all men, and
Love for the child...
Oh the whole world is waiting, waiting to hear the song again,
There are thousands standing on the edge of the world,
And a star is moving somewhere, the time is nearly here,
This song will begin once again, to a baby's cry...
MORE NUTS THAN CAN BE CRACKED
We buy more drink than can be drunk
We buy more food than can be eaten
We give more gifts than can be appreciated
But for fun Christmas can’t be beaten
KEEPING UP WITH THE JONES’S
It can only be Christmas
When the sane start acting funny
Going nuts for Christmas’s sake
And spending too much money
Even the level-headed slip
And fall at the Christmas season
Swept along with the throng
Losing all sense of reason
Why does it always happen?
Why does madness always descend?
It seems that the less people have
The more they want to spend
So desperate not to miss out
And to have their share of festive cheer
They have a very happy Christmas
And pay the price all the coming year
ARE YOU WEARING RED VELVET?
Are you wearing red velvet?
That’s really nice to see
And so fitting for the season
It makes me feel so Christmassy
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 39 MARCH OF THE KINGS
March Of The Kings
French traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown
Three great kings I met at early morn
With all their retinue were slowly marching
Three great kings I met at early morn
Were on their way to meet the newly born
With gifts of gold brought from far away
And valiant warriors to guard the royal treasure
With gifts of gold brought from far away
Their shields all shining in their bright array
Ce matin, j'ai rencontré le train
De trois grands rois qui allaient en voyage
Ce matin, j'ai rencontré le train
De trois grands rois dessus le grand chemin
Tout chargés d'or les suivaient d'abord
De grands guerriers et les gardes du trésor
Tout chargés d'or les suivaient d'abord
De grands guerriers avec leurs boucliers
For Thy mercy and Thy grace
Constant through another year
Hear our song of thankfulness
Father and Redeemer hear
Dark the future; let Thy light
Guide us, bright and morning star
Fierce our foes and hard the fight
Arm us Savior for the war
In our weakness and distress
Rock of strength be Thou our stay
In the pathless wilderness
Be our true and living way
Keep us faithful; keep us pure
Keep us evermore Thine own
Help, O help us to endure
Fit us for the promised crown
CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 4
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During the Christmas season
Just say “I would love
To show you the special toys
My elves make for
The big girls and boys”
The Christmas bush
Is Australian obviously
And isn’t really a bush at all
It’s in fact a shrub or tree
With red flowers for selection
As Christmas decoration
IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 2
Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Why has this not come up before?
If it were left to a man everything
Would come from the corner store
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – CHRISTMAS CONSULTANT
The Christmas Consultant, Owen (David Hasselhoff), is a highly sought-after consultant hired by a workaholic mother Maya Fletcher (Caroline Rhea) to get her and her dysfunctional family through the holidays.
Everybody loves Owen, much to Maya’s annoyance, and he has the perfect solution to each and every problem as it arises but it turns out that his own life isn’t how he paints it.
It isn’t the best example of a Christmas movie but its well worth a watch if for no other reason than to see Maya meltdown at the Christmas Eve party.
IT WAS CHRISTMAS EVE IN DAD’S HOUSE
It was Christmas Eve in Dad’s house,
And not a hint of the season in sight
No stockings hang by the fire side
He was such a miserable old shite
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 49 A SPACEMAN CAME TRAVELLING
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my forty ninth selection.
“A Spaceman Came Travelling”
Written and Performed by Chris de Burgh
A spaceman came travelling on his ship from afar,
'Twas light years of time since his mission did start,
And over a village he halted his craft,
And it hung in the sky like a star, just like a star...
He followed a light and came down to a shed,
Where a mother and child were lying there on a bed,
A bright light of silver shone round his head,
And he had the face of an angel, and they were afraid...
Then the stranger spoke, he said "Do not fear,
I come from a planet a long way from here,
And I bring a message for mankind to hear,"
And suddenly the sweetest music filled the air...
And it went La La...
Peace and goodwill to all men, and love for the child...
This lovely music went trembling through the ground,
And many were wakened on hearing that sound,
And travellers on the road, the village they found,
By the light of that ship in the sky, which shone all round...
And just before dawn at the paling of the sky,
The stranger returned and said "Now I must fly,
When two thousand years of your time has gone by,
This song will begin once again, to a baby's cry..."
And it went La La ... This song will begin once again
To a baby's cry...
And it goes La La... Peace and goodwill to all men, and
Love for the child...
Oh the whole world is waiting, waiting to hear the song again,
There are thousands standing on the edge of the world,
And a star is moving somewhere, the time is nearly here,
This song will begin once again, to a baby's cry...
MORE NUTS THAN CAN BE CRACKED
We buy more drink than can be drunk
We buy more food than can be eaten
We give more gifts than can be appreciated
But for fun Christmas can’t be beaten
KEEPING UP WITH THE JONES’S
It can only be Christmas
When the sane start acting funny
Going nuts for Christmas’s sake
And spending too much money
Even the level-headed slip
And fall at the Christmas season
Swept along with the throng
Losing all sense of reason
Why does it always happen?
Why does madness always descend?
It seems that the less people have
The more they want to spend
So desperate not to miss out
And to have their share of festive cheer
They have a very happy Christmas
And pay the price all the coming year
ARE YOU WEARING RED VELVET?
Are you wearing red velvet?
That’s really nice to see
And so fitting for the season
It makes me feel so Christmassy
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 39 MARCH OF THE KINGS
March Of The Kings
French traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown
Three great kings I met at early morn
With all their retinue were slowly marching
Three great kings I met at early morn
Were on their way to meet the newly born
With gifts of gold brought from far away
And valiant warriors to guard the royal treasure
With gifts of gold brought from far away
Their shields all shining in their bright array
Ce matin, j'ai rencontré le train
De trois grands rois qui allaient en voyage
Ce matin, j'ai rencontré le train
De trois grands rois dessus le grand chemin
Tout chargés d'or les suivaient d'abord
De grands guerriers et les gardes du trésor
Tout chargés d'or les suivaient d'abord
De grands guerriers avec leurs boucliers
For Thy mercy and Thy grace
Constant through another year
Hear our song of thankfulness
Father and Redeemer hear
Dark the future; let Thy light
Guide us, bright and morning star
Fierce our foes and hard the fight
Arm us Savior for the war
In our weakness and distress
Rock of strength be Thou our stay
In the pathless wilderness
Be our true and living way
Keep us faithful; keep us pure
Keep us evermore Thine own
Help, O help us to endure
Fit us for the promised crown
CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 4
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During the Christmas season
Just say “I would love
To show you the special toys
My elves make for
The big girls and boys”
Sunday 11 December 2016
Christmas Selection Box # 19
CHRISTMAS BEGONIA
The Christmas Begonia
The winter-bloomer
Whose large pink flowers
Light up the winter hours
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – BATTLE OF THE BULBS
Bob Wallace (Daniel Stern) goes all out every year on Christmas decorations so that he can have the brightest and most festive house in his neighbourhood.
Then he got a new neighbour Stu Jones (Matt Frewer) who put up an even brighter and more lavish display.
And from that moment on the fight is on when they declare war for the best Christmas decoration display in the neighbourhood.
Mindy Wallace (Allison Hossack) and Mary Jones (Teryl Rothery) are the long suffering wives who get sucked into the madness.
ARE YOU WEARING WHITE TINSEL?
Are you wearing white tinsel?
Tied amidst your lustrous curls
It makes you look so beautiful
And more like an angel than a girl
CHRISTMAS GOOD WILL
I look from my window
Upon a street of cheer
And as I look upon the scene
As Christmas day draws near
I pray that this good will
Could last throughout the year
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 50 PLEASE COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my fiftieth second selection.
“Please Come Home For Christmas”
Written by Charles Brown, Gene Redd
Performed by The Platters
Bells will be ringing the glad, glad news
Oh, what a Christmas to end the blues
My baby's gone, I have no friends
To wish me greetings, ooh, once again
Choirs will be singing Silent Night
Christmas carols by candlelight
Please come home for Christmas
Please come home for Christmas
If not for Christmas, by New Year's night
Friends and relations send salutations
Sure as the stars shine above
This is Christmas, yeah, Christmas my dear
The time of year to be with the one you love
So won't you tell me you'll never more roam
Christmas and New Year’s will find you home
Please come home for Christmas
Please come home for Christmas
If not for Christmas by New Year's night
There'll be no more sorrow no grief and pain
And I'll be happy, happy once again
IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 1
Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Oh do me a favour please
It’s obviously a man
Why is it so hard to believe?
That’s why everything happens
Late on Christmas Eve
CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 3
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During the Christmas season
Walk up to them and say sweetly
“Hey Angel, Shouldn't you
Be on top of the tree?”
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 38 THE LORD AT FIRST DID ADAM MAKE
The Lord At First Did Adam Make
English West Country traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown
The Lord at first did Adam make
Out of the dust and clay,
And in his nostrils breathed life,
E'en as the Scriptures day.
And then in Eden's Paradise
He placed him to dwell,
That he within it should remain
To dress and keep it well.
Chorus.
Now let good Christians all begin
An holy life to live,
And to rejoice and merry be,
For this is Christmas Eve.
And then within the garden he
Commanded was to stay,
And unto him in commandment
These words the Lord did say:
The fruit which in the garden grows
To thee shall be for meet,
Except the tree in the midst thereof,
Of which thou shalt not east. Chorus.
For in the day that thou shalt eat,
Or do it them come nigh;
For if that thou doth eat thereof
Then surely thou shalt die.
But Adam he did take no heed
Unto that only thing,
But did transgress God's holy law,
And so was wrapt in sin. Chorus.
Now mark the goodness of the Lord
Which he for mankind bore,
His mercy soon he did extend,
Lost man for to restore;
And then for to redeem our souls
From death and hellish thrall,
He said his own dear son should be
The Saviour of us all. Chorus.
Which promise now is brought to pass,
Christians, believe it well;
And by the coming of God's dear Son
We are redeemed from thrall.
Then if we truly do believe,
And do the thing aright;
Then by his merits we at last
Shall live in Heaven bright. Chorus.
Now for the blessings we enjoy,
Which are from Heaven above,
Let us renounce all wickedness
And live in perfect love.
Then shall we do Christ's own command,
Ev'n his own written word,
And when we die in Heaven shall
Enjoy our living Lord. Chorus.
And now the tide is nigh at hand,
Int' which our Saviour came;
Let us rejoice, and merry be,
In keeping of the same.
Let's feed the poor and hungry souls,
And such as do it crave;
Then when we die, in Heaven sure,
Our reward we shall have. Chorus.
CHRISTMAS CANDLES
(Sung to the tune of Sixteen Candles)
Christmas Candles, make a lovely light
But not as bright as the light of Christ
(as the light of Christ) (Oh)
Light up the candles, for all the world to view
For every candle says, Happy Christmas to you
(Happy Christmas to you)
FORCED ENTRY
I came home today to a horrible sight
All the doors and windows were smashed in
And inside, everything was gone
They had taken absolutely everything
I felt so violated so degraded
How could something like this occur?
What sort of sick person does that?
To someone's Advent calendar
The Christmas Begonia
The winter-bloomer
Whose large pink flowers
Light up the winter hours
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – BATTLE OF THE BULBS
Bob Wallace (Daniel Stern) goes all out every year on Christmas decorations so that he can have the brightest and most festive house in his neighbourhood.
Then he got a new neighbour Stu Jones (Matt Frewer) who put up an even brighter and more lavish display.
And from that moment on the fight is on when they declare war for the best Christmas decoration display in the neighbourhood.
Mindy Wallace (Allison Hossack) and Mary Jones (Teryl Rothery) are the long suffering wives who get sucked into the madness.
ARE YOU WEARING WHITE TINSEL?
Are you wearing white tinsel?
Tied amidst your lustrous curls
It makes you look so beautiful
And more like an angel than a girl
CHRISTMAS GOOD WILL
I look from my window
Upon a street of cheer
And as I look upon the scene
As Christmas day draws near
I pray that this good will
Could last throughout the year
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 50 PLEASE COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my fiftieth second selection.
“Please Come Home For Christmas”
Written by Charles Brown, Gene Redd
Performed by The Platters
Bells will be ringing the glad, glad news
Oh, what a Christmas to end the blues
My baby's gone, I have no friends
To wish me greetings, ooh, once again
Choirs will be singing Silent Night
Christmas carols by candlelight
Please come home for Christmas
Please come home for Christmas
If not for Christmas, by New Year's night
Friends and relations send salutations
Sure as the stars shine above
This is Christmas, yeah, Christmas my dear
The time of year to be with the one you love
So won't you tell me you'll never more roam
Christmas and New Year’s will find you home
Please come home for Christmas
Please come home for Christmas
If not for Christmas by New Year's night
There'll be no more sorrow no grief and pain
And I'll be happy, happy once again
IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 1
Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Oh do me a favour please
It’s obviously a man
Why is it so hard to believe?
That’s why everything happens
Late on Christmas Eve
CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 3
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During the Christmas season
Walk up to them and say sweetly
“Hey Angel, Shouldn't you
Be on top of the tree?”
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 38 THE LORD AT FIRST DID ADAM MAKE
The Lord At First Did Adam Make
English West Country traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown
The Lord at first did Adam make
Out of the dust and clay,
And in his nostrils breathed life,
E'en as the Scriptures day.
And then in Eden's Paradise
He placed him to dwell,
That he within it should remain
To dress and keep it well.
Chorus.
Now let good Christians all begin
An holy life to live,
And to rejoice and merry be,
For this is Christmas Eve.
And then within the garden he
Commanded was to stay,
And unto him in commandment
These words the Lord did say:
The fruit which in the garden grows
To thee shall be for meet,
Except the tree in the midst thereof,
Of which thou shalt not east. Chorus.
For in the day that thou shalt eat,
Or do it them come nigh;
For if that thou doth eat thereof
Then surely thou shalt die.
But Adam he did take no heed
Unto that only thing,
But did transgress God's holy law,
And so was wrapt in sin. Chorus.
Now mark the goodness of the Lord
Which he for mankind bore,
His mercy soon he did extend,
Lost man for to restore;
And then for to redeem our souls
From death and hellish thrall,
He said his own dear son should be
The Saviour of us all. Chorus.
Which promise now is brought to pass,
Christians, believe it well;
And by the coming of God's dear Son
We are redeemed from thrall.
Then if we truly do believe,
And do the thing aright;
Then by his merits we at last
Shall live in Heaven bright. Chorus.
Now for the blessings we enjoy,
Which are from Heaven above,
Let us renounce all wickedness
And live in perfect love.
Then shall we do Christ's own command,
Ev'n his own written word,
And when we die in Heaven shall
Enjoy our living Lord. Chorus.
And now the tide is nigh at hand,
Int' which our Saviour came;
Let us rejoice, and merry be,
In keeping of the same.
Let's feed the poor and hungry souls,
And such as do it crave;
Then when we die, in Heaven sure,
Our reward we shall have. Chorus.
CHRISTMAS CANDLES
(Sung to the tune of Sixteen Candles)
Christmas Candles, make a lovely light
But not as bright as the light of Christ
(as the light of Christ) (Oh)
Light up the candles, for all the world to view
For every candle says, Happy Christmas to you
(Happy Christmas to you)
FORCED ENTRY
I came home today to a horrible sight
All the doors and windows were smashed in
And inside, everything was gone
They had taken absolutely everything
I felt so violated so degraded
How could something like this occur?
What sort of sick person does that?
To someone's Advent calendar
Saturday 10 December 2016
Christmas Selection Box # 18
CHRISTMAS CACTUS
The Christmas cactus
The winter-bloomer
Its jointed flat segments
Look like experiments
Made by a young boy
With a construction set toy
But the rose-purple flowers
Light up the winter hours
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – I SAW MOMMY KISSING SANTA CLAUS
After a boy called Justin (Cole and Dylan Sprouse) sees a man in a Santa suit kissing his mother, Stephanie Carver (Connie Sellecca) he thinks that the real Santa Claus wants to replace his father, so he goes on an all-out prank-war with him.
And the poor Santa who bears the brunt of his attacks is Floyd (Sonny Carl Davis).
I think there is something inherently funny in Santa Claus falling on his backside and Floyd does it on a regular basis.
But unknown to Justin the man in the Santa suit kissing his mother was in fact his father David (Corbin Bernsen).
A really fun film.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE
The presents look wonderful
Beneath the Christmas tree
The holly and the mistletoe
Are arranged delightfully
The gingerbread men are ready
Cinnamon cookies are fresh baked
The Yule log is ready for cutting
And so is the Christmas cake
Festive cocktails have been mixed
The eggnog will taste sublime
There are traditional winter ales
Or there is always the mulled wine
Then the bells of Christmas ring,
Well the doorbell is ringing
Is that the guest’s arriving?
Or the carollers come singing
Friends and family have arrived
Its time to meet and greet
They have travelled far and near
To see them is such a treat
The mantel dressed with greens
The scent of Christmas fills the air
And all the children rush to see
The stockings hanging there
I love these get-togethers
And when all is said and done
We’re making Christmas memories
So Merry Christmas everyone
ARE YOU WEARING BLUE TINSEL?
Are you wearing blue tinsel?
Tied amidst your lustrous curls
Not a festive hue and yet
You have it amidst the curls
So is it a statement or was it
The only colour you could get
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 51 THE BELLS OF ST MARY’S
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my fifty first second selection.
“The Bells of St. Mary's”
Music written by A. Emmett Adams
Lyrics by Douglas Furber
The Bells of St. Mary's
Ah, hear they are calling
The young loves, the true loves
Who come from the sea
And so my beloved
When red leaves are falling
The love bells shall ring out, ring out
For you and me
The Bells of St. Mary's
Ah, hear they are calling
The young loves, the true loves
Who come from the sea
And so my beloved
When red leaves are falling
The love bells shall ring out, ring out
For you and me
ESSENTIAL INGREDIENT
I have no need of Christmas
I have no need of memories
I have no desire to make plans
To join in with the festivities
Don’t wish me merry Christmas
I have no need of Christmas cheer
For me it won’t be Christmas
Until my darling wife is here
So save your merry Christmas
Don’t send your jollity my way
Keep the Christmas fizz on ice
Until she’s home on Christmas day
This is for all those whose loved ones have to work on Christmas day.
ARE YOU WEARING GREEN VELVET?
Are you wearing green velvet?
That’s really nice to see
And so fitting for the season
It makes me feel so Christmassy
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 36 I SAW THREE SHIPS (COME SAILING IN)
I Saw Three Ships (Come Sailing In)
English traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown
I saw three ships comes sailing in
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
I saw three ships comes sailing in
On Christmas Day in the morning
And what was in these ships all three
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day?
And what was in these ships all three
On Christmas Day in the morning?
Our Savior Christ and His Lady
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
Our Savior Christ and His Lady
On Christmas Day in the morning
Pray, wither sailed those ships all three
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
Pray, wither sailed these ships all three
On Christmas Day in the morning
Oh, they sailed into Bethlehem
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
Oh, they sailed into Bethlehem
On Christmas Day in the morning
And all the bells on earth shall ring
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
And all the angels in Heaven shall sing
On Christmas Day in the morning
And all the souls on earth shall sing
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
Let us all rejoice on end
On Christmas Day in the morning
ALPHABET OF CHRISTMAS
A is for
Advent, the countdown to Christmas
B is for the
Bells that ring out in celebration
C is for the
Candle that spreads his light
D is for the
Decorations that dress our homes
E is for the
Extra spring in our collective step
F is for
Felicitations and festivities
G is for the
Gift that God gave too us
H is for the
Happiness of the Christmas season
I is for the
Illumination of the world
J is for
Jesus born into that world
K is for the
King, humbly born in a stable
L is for the
Love of Jesus Christ
M is for the
Magi who followed the star
N is for the
Nativity in Bethlehem
O is for
Old acquaintances re-met
P is for the
Presents beneath the tree
Q is for
Quintessence of the Christmas spirit
R is for the
Rejoicing in Christ’s name
S is for the
Star that adorned the Christmas sky
T is for the
Tinsel that adorns the trees
U is for the
Universal love of Christ
V is for the
Victorious celebration of his birth
W is for the
Wise men from the east
X is for
Xmas, the best time of the year
Y is for the
Yuletide season and its joys
Z is for the
Zest of enthusiastic enjoyment
LITTLE CHILD, LONELY CHILD
Little child,
Lonely child,
Face pressed
Against the glass
Breath blooming,
On the window pain
What do you seek?
Outside in the cold
In that bleak winter scene
Do you listen for sleigh bells?
Out in the snow
Is it the man in red?
You wait alone for
Why do you listen?
So intently at the silence
What was that sound?
Out in the cold
Not sleigh bells
No a car door
Now a figure appears
Who is it?
Not the man in red
Little child,
Lonely child,
Is excited now,
Rushes to the door
Its daddy, its daddy
Home at last
The Christmas cactus
The winter-bloomer
Its jointed flat segments
Look like experiments
Made by a young boy
With a construction set toy
But the rose-purple flowers
Light up the winter hours
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – I SAW MOMMY KISSING SANTA CLAUS
After a boy called Justin (Cole and Dylan Sprouse) sees a man in a Santa suit kissing his mother, Stephanie Carver (Connie Sellecca) he thinks that the real Santa Claus wants to replace his father, so he goes on an all-out prank-war with him.
And the poor Santa who bears the brunt of his attacks is Floyd (Sonny Carl Davis).
I think there is something inherently funny in Santa Claus falling on his backside and Floyd does it on a regular basis.
But unknown to Justin the man in the Santa suit kissing his mother was in fact his father David (Corbin Bernsen).
A really fun film.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE
The presents look wonderful
Beneath the Christmas tree
The holly and the mistletoe
Are arranged delightfully
The gingerbread men are ready
Cinnamon cookies are fresh baked
The Yule log is ready for cutting
And so is the Christmas cake
Festive cocktails have been mixed
The eggnog will taste sublime
There are traditional winter ales
Or there is always the mulled wine
Then the bells of Christmas ring,
Well the doorbell is ringing
Is that the guest’s arriving?
Or the carollers come singing
Friends and family have arrived
Its time to meet and greet
They have travelled far and near
To see them is such a treat
The mantel dressed with greens
The scent of Christmas fills the air
And all the children rush to see
The stockings hanging there
I love these get-togethers
And when all is said and done
We’re making Christmas memories
So Merry Christmas everyone
ARE YOU WEARING BLUE TINSEL?
Are you wearing blue tinsel?
Tied amidst your lustrous curls
Not a festive hue and yet
You have it amidst the curls
So is it a statement or was it
The only colour you could get
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 51 THE BELLS OF ST MARY’S
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my fifty first second selection.
“The Bells of St. Mary's”
Music written by A. Emmett Adams
Lyrics by Douglas Furber
The Bells of St. Mary's
Ah, hear they are calling
The young loves, the true loves
Who come from the sea
And so my beloved
When red leaves are falling
The love bells shall ring out, ring out
For you and me
The Bells of St. Mary's
Ah, hear they are calling
The young loves, the true loves
Who come from the sea
And so my beloved
When red leaves are falling
The love bells shall ring out, ring out
For you and me
ESSENTIAL INGREDIENT
I have no need of Christmas
I have no need of memories
I have no desire to make plans
To join in with the festivities
Don’t wish me merry Christmas
I have no need of Christmas cheer
For me it won’t be Christmas
Until my darling wife is here
So save your merry Christmas
Don’t send your jollity my way
Keep the Christmas fizz on ice
Until she’s home on Christmas day
This is for all those whose loved ones have to work on Christmas day.
ARE YOU WEARING GREEN VELVET?
Are you wearing green velvet?
That’s really nice to see
And so fitting for the season
It makes me feel so Christmassy
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 36 I SAW THREE SHIPS (COME SAILING IN)
I Saw Three Ships (Come Sailing In)
English traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown
I saw three ships comes sailing in
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
I saw three ships comes sailing in
On Christmas Day in the morning
And what was in these ships all three
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day?
And what was in these ships all three
On Christmas Day in the morning?
Our Savior Christ and His Lady
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
Our Savior Christ and His Lady
On Christmas Day in the morning
Pray, wither sailed those ships all three
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
Pray, wither sailed these ships all three
On Christmas Day in the morning
Oh, they sailed into Bethlehem
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
Oh, they sailed into Bethlehem
On Christmas Day in the morning
And all the bells on earth shall ring
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
And all the angels in Heaven shall sing
On Christmas Day in the morning
And all the souls on earth shall sing
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
Let us all rejoice on end
On Christmas Day in the morning
ALPHABET OF CHRISTMAS
A is for
Advent, the countdown to Christmas
B is for the
Bells that ring out in celebration
C is for the
Candle that spreads his light
D is for the
Decorations that dress our homes
E is for the
Extra spring in our collective step
F is for
Felicitations and festivities
G is for the
Gift that God gave too us
H is for the
Happiness of the Christmas season
I is for the
Illumination of the world
J is for
Jesus born into that world
K is for the
King, humbly born in a stable
L is for the
Love of Jesus Christ
M is for the
Magi who followed the star
N is for the
Nativity in Bethlehem
O is for
Old acquaintances re-met
P is for the
Presents beneath the tree
Q is for
Quintessence of the Christmas spirit
R is for the
Rejoicing in Christ’s name
S is for the
Star that adorned the Christmas sky
T is for the
Tinsel that adorns the trees
U is for the
Universal love of Christ
V is for the
Victorious celebration of his birth
W is for the
Wise men from the east
X is for
Xmas, the best time of the year
Y is for the
Yuletide season and its joys
Z is for the
Zest of enthusiastic enjoyment
LITTLE CHILD, LONELY CHILD
Little child,
Lonely child,
Face pressed
Against the glass
Breath blooming,
On the window pain
What do you seek?
Outside in the cold
In that bleak winter scene
Do you listen for sleigh bells?
Out in the snow
Is it the man in red?
You wait alone for
Why do you listen?
So intently at the silence
What was that sound?
Out in the cold
Not sleigh bells
No a car door
Now a figure appears
Who is it?
Not the man in red
Little child,
Lonely child,
Is excited now,
Rushes to the door
Its daddy, its daddy
Home at last
Friday 9 December 2016
Christmas Selection Box # 17
TOO MERRY CHRISTMAS
I made too merry yesterday
I had a splendid day
In Christmas celebration
I indulged in every way
But now my head is splitting
The morning after the play
So I will nurse my head
For all of Boxing Day
CHRISTMAS HOLLY
Christmas Holly
Evergreen tree
Christmas Holly
Leaves are prickly
Cut fresh Holly
Full of red berries
Help to make
The season merry
THE BEST CHRISTMAS STORIES – THE GIFT OF THE MAGI
The Gift of the Magi is a short story written by O. Henry, about a young married couple and the challenge of secretly buying Christmas gifts for each other on a shoestring budget.
It is an endearing and sentimental tale with a moral message about unselfishness and thoughtfulness.
With virtually no money to spend on gifts Jim sells his watch to buy combs for Della’s lovely hair and Della sells her hair to buy a chain for Jims watch.
So they end up with useless gifts they cannot use but as a result have given each other the most precious gift in the world, their love.
ARE YOU WEARING GREEN TINSEL?
Are you wearing green tinsel?
Tied around your lustrous curls
Like a goddess of the woods
Are you one of the “nature” girls?
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – LOST HOLIDAY: THE JIM & SUZANNE SHEMWELL STORY
This film is based on a true story about an estranged couple who find themselves lost in the Idaho wilderness after in impromptu snowmobile outing.
It was just before Christmas and when the weather turns they are trapped in a blizzard and the snowfall is so great all the trails are hidden.
Lost and alone Suzanne and Jim Shemwell (Jami Gertz and Dylan Walsh) are forced to confront the reasons why they separated.
Meanwhile their family, when they are not looking for Suzanne and Jim, are looking inward at themselves and re-evaluate their lives and their relationships.
CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 2
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
Walk up to them and say
“Can I take a picture of you Miss,
So I can show Santa exactly
What I want for Christmas”
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 37 LOVE CAME DOWN AT CHRISTMAS
Love Came Down at Christmas
Music by Harold Darke
Lyrics by Christina Rossetti
Love came down at Christmas,
Love all lovely, Love Divine,
Love was born at Christmas,
Star and Angels gave the sign.
Worship we the Godhead,
Love Incarnate, Love Divine,
Worship we our Jesus,
But wherewith for sacred sign?
Love shall be our token,
Love shall be yours and love be mine,
Love to God and all men,
Love for plea and gift and sign.
CHRISTMAS NEW BORN
You came into our lives
A fighter and a screamer
Born to us at Christmas
Just like our redeemer
And how we loved you
Right from the very start
But naming you was hard
What name should we impart?
Then like a light coming on
The answer rang like a bell
You were born at Christmas
So we would call you Noelle
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 20
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favourites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my twentieth selection.
Christmas All Over Again
Written and performed by Tom Petty
Well it's Christmas time again, decorations are all hung by the fire
Everybody's singin', all the bells are ringing out
And it's Christmas all over again, yeah again
Long-distance relatives, haven't seen'em in a long, long time
Yeah I kind of missed 'em, I just don't wanna kiss 'em, no
It's Christmas all over again, yeah again
And all over town little kids gonna get down
And Christmas is a rockin' time, put your body next to mine
Underneath the mistletoe we go, we go
Everybodys singin', all the bells are ringin' out
It's Christmas all over again, yeah again
And right down our block little kids start to rock
And Christmas is a rockin' time, put your body next to mine
Underneath the mistletoe we go, we go
Merry Christmas time come and find you happy and there by your fire
I hope you have a good one, I hope momma gets her shoppin' done
And it's a Christmas all over again
Baby it's Christmas all over again
And it's Christmas all over again
Now let's see...I want a new Rickenbacker guitar,
CHRISTMAS INDULGENCE
We spend the day
Eating more than we should
Turkey and trimmings
And rich Christmas pud
Mince pies and cream
Great petite fours
Pretzels and nuts
Wines and liqueurs
Cookies and marzipan
Chocolate Yule log
Rich Christmas cake
And creamy eggnog
Chocolate Orange
Chocolate Brazils
Hot Bombay mix
Twiglets and Pringles
Sweet candied fruits
Sugar coated almonds
Cold turkey sandwich,
Till I’m suitably rotund
I made too merry yesterday
I had a splendid day
In Christmas celebration
I indulged in every way
But now my head is splitting
The morning after the play
So I will nurse my head
For all of Boxing Day
CHRISTMAS HOLLY
Christmas Holly
Evergreen tree
Christmas Holly
Leaves are prickly
Cut fresh Holly
Full of red berries
Help to make
The season merry
THE BEST CHRISTMAS STORIES – THE GIFT OF THE MAGI
The Gift of the Magi is a short story written by O. Henry, about a young married couple and the challenge of secretly buying Christmas gifts for each other on a shoestring budget.
It is an endearing and sentimental tale with a moral message about unselfishness and thoughtfulness.
With virtually no money to spend on gifts Jim sells his watch to buy combs for Della’s lovely hair and Della sells her hair to buy a chain for Jims watch.
So they end up with useless gifts they cannot use but as a result have given each other the most precious gift in the world, their love.
ARE YOU WEARING GREEN TINSEL?
Are you wearing green tinsel?
Tied around your lustrous curls
Like a goddess of the woods
Are you one of the “nature” girls?
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – LOST HOLIDAY: THE JIM & SUZANNE SHEMWELL STORY
This film is based on a true story about an estranged couple who find themselves lost in the Idaho wilderness after in impromptu snowmobile outing.
It was just before Christmas and when the weather turns they are trapped in a blizzard and the snowfall is so great all the trails are hidden.
Lost and alone Suzanne and Jim Shemwell (Jami Gertz and Dylan Walsh) are forced to confront the reasons why they separated.
Meanwhile their family, when they are not looking for Suzanne and Jim, are looking inward at themselves and re-evaluate their lives and their relationships.
CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 2
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
Walk up to them and say
“Can I take a picture of you Miss,
So I can show Santa exactly
What I want for Christmas”
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 37 LOVE CAME DOWN AT CHRISTMAS
Love Came Down at Christmas
Music by Harold Darke
Lyrics by Christina Rossetti
Love came down at Christmas,
Love all lovely, Love Divine,
Love was born at Christmas,
Star and Angels gave the sign.
Worship we the Godhead,
Love Incarnate, Love Divine,
Worship we our Jesus,
But wherewith for sacred sign?
Love shall be our token,
Love shall be yours and love be mine,
Love to God and all men,
Love for plea and gift and sign.
CHRISTMAS NEW BORN
You came into our lives
A fighter and a screamer
Born to us at Christmas
Just like our redeemer
And how we loved you
Right from the very start
But naming you was hard
What name should we impart?
Then like a light coming on
The answer rang like a bell
You were born at Christmas
So we would call you Noelle
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 20
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favourites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my twentieth selection.
Christmas All Over Again
Written and performed by Tom Petty
Well it's Christmas time again, decorations are all hung by the fire
Everybody's singin', all the bells are ringing out
And it's Christmas all over again, yeah again
Long-distance relatives, haven't seen'em in a long, long time
Yeah I kind of missed 'em, I just don't wanna kiss 'em, no
It's Christmas all over again, yeah again
And all over town little kids gonna get down
And Christmas is a rockin' time, put your body next to mine
Underneath the mistletoe we go, we go
Everybodys singin', all the bells are ringin' out
It's Christmas all over again, yeah again
And right down our block little kids start to rock
And Christmas is a rockin' time, put your body next to mine
Underneath the mistletoe we go, we go
Merry Christmas time come and find you happy and there by your fire
I hope you have a good one, I hope momma gets her shoppin' done
And it's a Christmas all over again
Baby it's Christmas all over again
And it's Christmas all over again
Now let's see...I want a new Rickenbacker guitar,
CHRISTMAS INDULGENCE
We spend the day
Eating more than we should
Turkey and trimmings
And rich Christmas pud
Mince pies and cream
Great petite fours
Pretzels and nuts
Wines and liqueurs
Cookies and marzipan
Chocolate Yule log
Rich Christmas cake
And creamy eggnog
Chocolate Orange
Chocolate Brazils
Hot Bombay mix
Twiglets and Pringles
Sweet candied fruits
Sugar coated almonds
Cold turkey sandwich,
Till I’m suitably rotund
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)