CHRISTMAS BEGONIA
The Christmas Begonia
The winter-bloomer
Whose large pink flowers
Light up the winter hours
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – BATTLE OF THE BULBS
Bob Wallace (Daniel Stern) goes all out every year on Christmas decorations so that he can have the brightest and most festive house in his neighbourhood.
Then he got a new neighbour Stu Jones (Matt Frewer) who put up an even brighter and more lavish display.
And from that moment on the fight is on when they declare war for the best Christmas decoration display in the neighbourhood.
Mindy Wallace (Allison Hossack) and Mary Jones (Teryl Rothery) are the long suffering wives who get sucked into the madness.
ARE YOU WEARING WHITE TINSEL?
Are you wearing white tinsel?
Tied amidst your lustrous curls
It makes you look so beautiful
And more like an angel than a girl
CHRISTMAS GOOD WILL
I look from my window
Upon a street of cheer
And as I look upon the scene
As Christmas day draws near
I pray that this good will
Could last throughout the year
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 50 PLEASE COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my fiftieth second selection.
“Please Come Home For Christmas”
Written by Charles Brown, Gene Redd
Performed by The Platters
Bells will be ringing the glad, glad news
Oh, what a Christmas to end the blues
My baby's gone, I have no friends
To wish me greetings, ooh, once again
Choirs will be singing Silent Night
Christmas carols by candlelight
Please come home for Christmas
Please come home for Christmas
If not for Christmas, by New Year's night
Friends and relations send salutations
Sure as the stars shine above
This is Christmas, yeah, Christmas my dear
The time of year to be with the one you love
So won't you tell me you'll never more roam
Christmas and New Year’s will find you home
Please come home for Christmas
Please come home for Christmas
If not for Christmas by New Year's night
There'll be no more sorrow no grief and pain
And I'll be happy, happy once again
IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 1
Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Oh do me a favour please
It’s obviously a man
Why is it so hard to believe?
That’s why everything happens
Late on Christmas Eve
CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 3
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During the Christmas season
Walk up to them and say sweetly
“Hey Angel, Shouldn't you
Be on top of the tree?”
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 38 THE LORD AT FIRST DID ADAM MAKE
The Lord At First Did Adam Make
English West Country traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown
The Lord at first did Adam make
Out of the dust and clay,
And in his nostrils breathed life,
E'en as the Scriptures day.
And then in Eden's Paradise
He placed him to dwell,
That he within it should remain
To dress and keep it well.
Chorus.
Now let good Christians all begin
An holy life to live,
And to rejoice and merry be,
For this is Christmas Eve.
And then within the garden he
Commanded was to stay,
And unto him in commandment
These words the Lord did say:
The fruit which in the garden grows
To thee shall be for meet,
Except the tree in the midst thereof,
Of which thou shalt not east. Chorus.
For in the day that thou shalt eat,
Or do it them come nigh;
For if that thou doth eat thereof
Then surely thou shalt die.
But Adam he did take no heed
Unto that only thing,
But did transgress God's holy law,
And so was wrapt in sin. Chorus.
Now mark the goodness of the Lord
Which he for mankind bore,
His mercy soon he did extend,
Lost man for to restore;
And then for to redeem our souls
From death and hellish thrall,
He said his own dear son should be
The Saviour of us all. Chorus.
Which promise now is brought to pass,
Christians, believe it well;
And by the coming of God's dear Son
We are redeemed from thrall.
Then if we truly do believe,
And do the thing aright;
Then by his merits we at last
Shall live in Heaven bright. Chorus.
Now for the blessings we enjoy,
Which are from Heaven above,
Let us renounce all wickedness
And live in perfect love.
Then shall we do Christ's own command,
Ev'n his own written word,
And when we die in Heaven shall
Enjoy our living Lord. Chorus.
And now the tide is nigh at hand,
Int' which our Saviour came;
Let us rejoice, and merry be,
In keeping of the same.
Let's feed the poor and hungry souls,
And such as do it crave;
Then when we die, in Heaven sure,
Our reward we shall have. Chorus.
CHRISTMAS CANDLES
(Sung to the tune of Sixteen Candles)
Christmas Candles, make a lovely light
But not as bright as the light of Christ
(as the light of Christ) (Oh)
Light up the candles, for all the world to view
For every candle says, Happy Christmas to you
(Happy Christmas to you)
FORCED ENTRY
I came home today to a horrible sight
All the doors and windows were smashed in
And inside, everything was gone
They had taken absolutely everything
I felt so violated so degraded
How could something like this occur?
What sort of sick person does that?
To someone's Advent calendar
Sunday, 11 December 2016
Christmas Selection Box # 19
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Saturday, 10 December 2016
Christmas Selection Box # 18
CHRISTMAS CACTUS
The Christmas cactus
The winter-bloomer
Its jointed flat segments
Look like experiments
Made by a young boy
With a construction set toy
But the rose-purple flowers
Light up the winter hours
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – I SAW MOMMY KISSING SANTA CLAUS
After a boy called Justin (Cole and Dylan Sprouse) sees a man in a Santa suit kissing his mother, Stephanie Carver (Connie Sellecca) he thinks that the real Santa Claus wants to replace his father, so he goes on an all-out prank-war with him.
And the poor Santa who bears the brunt of his attacks is Floyd (Sonny Carl Davis).
I think there is something inherently funny in Santa Claus falling on his backside and Floyd does it on a regular basis.
But unknown to Justin the man in the Santa suit kissing his mother was in fact his father David (Corbin Bernsen).
A really fun film.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE
The presents look wonderful
Beneath the Christmas tree
The holly and the mistletoe
Are arranged delightfully
The gingerbread men are ready
Cinnamon cookies are fresh baked
The Yule log is ready for cutting
And so is the Christmas cake
Festive cocktails have been mixed
The eggnog will taste sublime
There are traditional winter ales
Or there is always the mulled wine
Then the bells of Christmas ring,
Well the doorbell is ringing
Is that the guest’s arriving?
Or the carollers come singing
Friends and family have arrived
Its time to meet and greet
They have travelled far and near
To see them is such a treat
The mantel dressed with greens
The scent of Christmas fills the air
And all the children rush to see
The stockings hanging there
I love these get-togethers
And when all is said and done
We’re making Christmas memories
So Merry Christmas everyone
ARE YOU WEARING BLUE TINSEL?
Are you wearing blue tinsel?
Tied amidst your lustrous curls
Not a festive hue and yet
You have it amidst the curls
So is it a statement or was it
The only colour you could get
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 51 THE BELLS OF ST MARY’S
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my fifty first second selection.
“The Bells of St. Mary's”
Music written by A. Emmett Adams
Lyrics by Douglas Furber
The Bells of St. Mary's
Ah, hear they are calling
The young loves, the true loves
Who come from the sea
And so my beloved
When red leaves are falling
The love bells shall ring out, ring out
For you and me
The Bells of St. Mary's
Ah, hear they are calling
The young loves, the true loves
Who come from the sea
And so my beloved
When red leaves are falling
The love bells shall ring out, ring out
For you and me
ESSENTIAL INGREDIENT
I have no need of Christmas
I have no need of memories
I have no desire to make plans
To join in with the festivities
Don’t wish me merry Christmas
I have no need of Christmas cheer
For me it won’t be Christmas
Until my darling wife is here
So save your merry Christmas
Don’t send your jollity my way
Keep the Christmas fizz on ice
Until she’s home on Christmas day
This is for all those whose loved ones have to work on Christmas day.
ARE YOU WEARING GREEN VELVET?
Are you wearing green velvet?
That’s really nice to see
And so fitting for the season
It makes me feel so Christmassy
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 36 I SAW THREE SHIPS (COME SAILING IN)
I Saw Three Ships (Come Sailing In)
English traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown
I saw three ships comes sailing in
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
I saw three ships comes sailing in
On Christmas Day in the morning
And what was in these ships all three
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day?
And what was in these ships all three
On Christmas Day in the morning?
Our Savior Christ and His Lady
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
Our Savior Christ and His Lady
On Christmas Day in the morning
Pray, wither sailed those ships all three
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
Pray, wither sailed these ships all three
On Christmas Day in the morning
Oh, they sailed into Bethlehem
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
Oh, they sailed into Bethlehem
On Christmas Day in the morning
And all the bells on earth shall ring
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
And all the angels in Heaven shall sing
On Christmas Day in the morning
And all the souls on earth shall sing
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
Let us all rejoice on end
On Christmas Day in the morning
ALPHABET OF CHRISTMAS
A is for
Advent, the countdown to Christmas
B is for the
Bells that ring out in celebration
C is for the
Candle that spreads his light
D is for the
Decorations that dress our homes
E is for the
Extra spring in our collective step
F is for
Felicitations and festivities
G is for the
Gift that God gave too us
H is for the
Happiness of the Christmas season
I is for the
Illumination of the world
J is for
Jesus born into that world
K is for the
King, humbly born in a stable
L is for the
Love of Jesus Christ
M is for the
Magi who followed the star
N is for the
Nativity in Bethlehem
O is for
Old acquaintances re-met
P is for the
Presents beneath the tree
Q is for
Quintessence of the Christmas spirit
R is for the
Rejoicing in Christ’s name
S is for the
Star that adorned the Christmas sky
T is for the
Tinsel that adorns the trees
U is for the
Universal love of Christ
V is for the
Victorious celebration of his birth
W is for the
Wise men from the east
X is for
Xmas, the best time of the year
Y is for the
Yuletide season and its joys
Z is for the
Zest of enthusiastic enjoyment
LITTLE CHILD, LONELY CHILD
Little child,
Lonely child,
Face pressed
Against the glass
Breath blooming,
On the window pain
What do you seek?
Outside in the cold
In that bleak winter scene
Do you listen for sleigh bells?
Out in the snow
Is it the man in red?
You wait alone for
Why do you listen?
So intently at the silence
What was that sound?
Out in the cold
Not sleigh bells
No a car door
Now a figure appears
Who is it?
Not the man in red
Little child,
Lonely child,
Is excited now,
Rushes to the door
Its daddy, its daddy
Home at last
The Christmas cactus
The winter-bloomer
Its jointed flat segments
Look like experiments
Made by a young boy
With a construction set toy
But the rose-purple flowers
Light up the winter hours
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – I SAW MOMMY KISSING SANTA CLAUS
After a boy called Justin (Cole and Dylan Sprouse) sees a man in a Santa suit kissing his mother, Stephanie Carver (Connie Sellecca) he thinks that the real Santa Claus wants to replace his father, so he goes on an all-out prank-war with him.
And the poor Santa who bears the brunt of his attacks is Floyd (Sonny Carl Davis).
I think there is something inherently funny in Santa Claus falling on his backside and Floyd does it on a regular basis.
But unknown to Justin the man in the Santa suit kissing his mother was in fact his father David (Corbin Bernsen).
A really fun film.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE
The presents look wonderful
Beneath the Christmas tree
The holly and the mistletoe
Are arranged delightfully
The gingerbread men are ready
Cinnamon cookies are fresh baked
The Yule log is ready for cutting
And so is the Christmas cake
Festive cocktails have been mixed
The eggnog will taste sublime
There are traditional winter ales
Or there is always the mulled wine
Then the bells of Christmas ring,
Well the doorbell is ringing
Is that the guest’s arriving?
Or the carollers come singing
Friends and family have arrived
Its time to meet and greet
They have travelled far and near
To see them is such a treat
The mantel dressed with greens
The scent of Christmas fills the air
And all the children rush to see
The stockings hanging there
I love these get-togethers
And when all is said and done
We’re making Christmas memories
So Merry Christmas everyone
ARE YOU WEARING BLUE TINSEL?
Are you wearing blue tinsel?
Tied amidst your lustrous curls
Not a festive hue and yet
You have it amidst the curls
So is it a statement or was it
The only colour you could get
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 51 THE BELLS OF ST MARY’S
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my fifty first second selection.
“The Bells of St. Mary's”
Music written by A. Emmett Adams
Lyrics by Douglas Furber
The Bells of St. Mary's
Ah, hear they are calling
The young loves, the true loves
Who come from the sea
And so my beloved
When red leaves are falling
The love bells shall ring out, ring out
For you and me
The Bells of St. Mary's
Ah, hear they are calling
The young loves, the true loves
Who come from the sea
And so my beloved
When red leaves are falling
The love bells shall ring out, ring out
For you and me
ESSENTIAL INGREDIENT
I have no need of Christmas
I have no need of memories
I have no desire to make plans
To join in with the festivities
Don’t wish me merry Christmas
I have no need of Christmas cheer
For me it won’t be Christmas
Until my darling wife is here
So save your merry Christmas
Don’t send your jollity my way
Keep the Christmas fizz on ice
Until she’s home on Christmas day
This is for all those whose loved ones have to work on Christmas day.
ARE YOU WEARING GREEN VELVET?
Are you wearing green velvet?
That’s really nice to see
And so fitting for the season
It makes me feel so Christmassy
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 36 I SAW THREE SHIPS (COME SAILING IN)
I Saw Three Ships (Come Sailing In)
English traditional Music and lyrics authorship unknown
I saw three ships comes sailing in
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
I saw three ships comes sailing in
On Christmas Day in the morning
And what was in these ships all three
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day?
And what was in these ships all three
On Christmas Day in the morning?
Our Savior Christ and His Lady
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
Our Savior Christ and His Lady
On Christmas Day in the morning
Pray, wither sailed those ships all three
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
Pray, wither sailed these ships all three
On Christmas Day in the morning
Oh, they sailed into Bethlehem
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
Oh, they sailed into Bethlehem
On Christmas Day in the morning
And all the bells on earth shall ring
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
And all the angels in Heaven shall sing
On Christmas Day in the morning
And all the souls on earth shall sing
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
Let us all rejoice on end
On Christmas Day in the morning
ALPHABET OF CHRISTMAS
A is for
Advent, the countdown to Christmas
B is for the
Bells that ring out in celebration
C is for the
Candle that spreads his light
D is for the
Decorations that dress our homes
E is for the
Extra spring in our collective step
F is for
Felicitations and festivities
G is for the
Gift that God gave too us
H is for the
Happiness of the Christmas season
I is for the
Illumination of the world
J is for
Jesus born into that world
K is for the
King, humbly born in a stable
L is for the
Love of Jesus Christ
M is for the
Magi who followed the star
N is for the
Nativity in Bethlehem
O is for
Old acquaintances re-met
P is for the
Presents beneath the tree
Q is for
Quintessence of the Christmas spirit
R is for the
Rejoicing in Christ’s name
S is for the
Star that adorned the Christmas sky
T is for the
Tinsel that adorns the trees
U is for the
Universal love of Christ
V is for the
Victorious celebration of his birth
W is for the
Wise men from the east
X is for
Xmas, the best time of the year
Y is for the
Yuletide season and its joys
Z is for the
Zest of enthusiastic enjoyment
LITTLE CHILD, LONELY CHILD
Little child,
Lonely child,
Face pressed
Against the glass
Breath blooming,
On the window pain
What do you seek?
Outside in the cold
In that bleak winter scene
Do you listen for sleigh bells?
Out in the snow
Is it the man in red?
You wait alone for
Why do you listen?
So intently at the silence
What was that sound?
Out in the cold
Not sleigh bells
No a car door
Now a figure appears
Who is it?
Not the man in red
Little child,
Lonely child,
Is excited now,
Rushes to the door
Its daddy, its daddy
Home at last
Labels:
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Friday, 9 December 2016
The Girl in the Christmas Dress
The Girl in the Christmas Dress (Part One)
Steve Berry had always had a dislike for Christmas, despite all the jollity and faux fun because unlike many of his Christmas mad friends he had no happy Christmas memories to anesthetise him against the season.
His parents were alcoholics and each year their Christmas came in a bottle and thanks to his father Steve’s came with a slap.
So his childhood Christmases were memories he would rather have forgotten.
But adulthood brought no relief and it always seemed to him that when shit happens Christmas just magnifies the misery.
If someone dies at Christmas the very season makes it more keenly felt.
He could testify to that as his mother died on Christmas Eve when he was 19.
He has no idea where his father is and quite frankly he doesn’t care.
He never showed up for the funeral and he could be dead as well for all he knew.
So as a result he has never trusted Christmas, he knows that shit lurks beneath the coloured lights and paper chains.
That was until Holly Davis opened his eyes to new possibilities and he realised that Christmas could also magnify joy.
He had found himself working behind the bar in her Uncle Phil’s pub, the Pig and Whistle.
He was still uncertain quite how she managed to affect that, but affect it she did and during the ten days working for her she had turned his life upside down and it culminated on Christmas Eve with him wishing her a Merry Christmas and kissing her at closing time.
Judging by the way Holly responded Steve hoped that kiss on Christmas Eve might have been the start of something but alas for him it didn’t lead anywhere.
Holly had indeed responded to his advance and in fact had been hoping for it but she knew it was far too soon to throw caution to the wind.
There were scabs as yet unpicked regarding Steve Berry that needed to be attended to before she completely let down her guard.
Holly considered him to be a work in progress she thought he had potential but he still needed work but there was certainly hope for him.
The other event that occurred on Christmas Eve was a prolonged snowfall which resulted in them being snowed in.
Holly was due to go to lunch at her cousin’s house but as she lived 30 miles away it was not possible to make the journey safely with the amount of snow that was laying.
Steve was due to spend the day alone not celebrating Christmas at all but Holly invited him to spend the day with her instead as he hadn’t risked driving home the night before.
He would have been quite happy to have slept on one of the bench seats in the lounge bar as he had once before but Holly insisted he use the spare room.
So that was how Steve Berry came to celebrate his first ever Christmas and why he was sitting at the bar nursing a cup of coffee in the clothes he had been wearing the night before.
“Morning” he said as she appeared behind the bar
“Happy Christmas” Holly said and reached over and kissed his cheek.
Now it was not the kiss he was hoping for and it was not possessed of the passion that accompanied the embrace of the night before but that simple peck on the cheek held within it, hope.
“God its cold in here” she said
“Yes, there was a power cut during the night and it knocked the boiler out” he said
“I’ve relit it but it’ll take a while to warm up”
“This was not the Christmas day I had in mind” Holly said putting the collar of her dressing gown up
“Nor me” he added
She was supposed to be dining on a sumptuous feast at her cousin’s house, while he was supposed to be in self-imposed exile at his flat.
“Do you want a drink?” he asked
“Oh yes please” she replied and Steve got up and went to the kitchen returning a few minutes later with a steaming mug of tea
“Thanks hon” she said and winced at her involuntary over familiarization and quickly went on
“I don’t know what we are going to eat today” Holly said
“We will need to ferret in the freezer”
“I didn’t know ferret was traditional Christmas fare” Steve said
“You know what I mean” she said “Can you cook?”
“A bit” he replied
“Good because I’m rubbish” Holly admitted
Steve actually undersold himself when he said he could cook a bit
He could in fact cook very well, exceptionally well.
Steve not being a traditionalist or a fan of the season could certainly make something out of what was on hand in the kitchen.
Holly however wanted to have a roast lunch, with all the trimmings, but after they checked the freezer they had to rule out a roast dinner as the joints would never have defrosted in time, but there were alternatives.
The fresh vegetable stores were limited but more than sufficient for two people.
Although she couldn’t cook herself Holly was determined to help firstly by peeling the potatoes and carrots and then by getting out of his way so he could get on by taking herself off upstairs to get ready for the day.
While Holly was gone Steve finished preparing the food and he was pleased that he had achieved something to suit Holly’s traditional wishes at least in part.
He had just reached the point where he could safely leave the kitchen and get showered and shaved when Holly reappeared and he was stopped in his tracks.
She looked stunning, her mousy hair, washed and styled was adorned with Christmas slides and she was wearing a white wool dress decorated with poinsettias.
And her shapely legs were covered by black tights with motifs of bows and parcels.
As he looked at her he thought to himself that he’d like them to be stockings rather than tights but nice legs were nice legs regardless of what they were sheathed in.
“Wow” Steve exclaimed
“Wow” he said again and Holly blushed
“It’s a Christmas dress you know” she said
“I don’t care” he said
“But you don’t like Christmas”
“It’s growing on me”
“Good” she said “you won’t mind wearing this then”
When would he ever learn, He now had to wear another blessed Christmas sweater.
“Where do you keep getting them from?” he asked
“They’re Uncle Phil’s” she replied “I buy him one every year”
“I’ve never seen Phil in a Christmas jumper” Steve said
“No nor of I” Holly agreed
The Girl in the Christmas Dress (Part Two)
Steve went upstairs, showered and shaved and returned to find Holly had laid a table in the lounge bar, complete with festive serviettes, candles, party poppers and crackers.
On the CD player the Puppini Sisters were in full voice and his natural aversion to Christmas music was tempered by the fact he caught Holly singing and dancing along with the music.
He stayed out of sight in the doorway so he could enjoy the spectacle as long as possible.
When she eventually became aware of him she blushed redder than the poinsettias on her dress.
“How long have you been standing there?” she said suddenly flustered and began fussing with the table.
“Long enough” Steve replied
“You should have said something” Holly said as she headed towards the kitchen
“What and spoil the show” he replied as he followed close behind
Holly carried on with the table while Steve checked the oven and ten minutes later he was transferring everything to serving dishes which Holly took to the table.
All he had left to do was make the gravy and get the Yorkshire puddings out of the oven.
Christmas dinner was as traditional as he could manage given the limits of the provisions available.
It was Holly’s turn to say “Wow” as he served Chicken breast wrapped in bacon, served with Roast potatoes, roast parsnips, carrots, peas, stuffing and Yorkshire pudding.
“What no starters” she said tongue in cheek
Holly lit the candles and Steve opened the wine they pulled the crackers and she made him wear a paper hat.
For desert he served apple pie and ice cream after which they watched the Queens speech.
As soon as the speech was over Holly switched off the TV
“What now?” he asked
“Now we sit and talk” She replied
“You mean “talk”” Steve said
“Yes”
“Do we have to” He said
“How are we supposed to learn about each other if we don’t talk?”
Holly replied
“So what do you want to know?” he said resignedly
“You’re childhood” Holly said with great interest
“What about it?” he replied
“Well, it’s not just Christmas that was unhappy was it”
“No it wasn’t” he replied and Holly settled back to let him unburden himself
“It wasn’t just Christmas, it was Easter, Halloween, birthdays and New Year’s”
He paused and took a drink
“you see My parents were alcoholics, when I was young they managed to somehow keep it under control but once I got to school age I pretty much raised myself, which is how I came to learn to cook because if I didn’t cook I didn’t eat”
They had spent a very pleasant Christmas day together, snowed in at the pub, the last thing he wanted to do was regurgitate the unpleasant moments of his life, particularly as he had been doing his best to forget them.
But once he started he couldn’t stop and by the end of it he was exhausted as they sat in the gathering darkness.
Holly was largely quiet throughout and just added the odd word of encouragement and support.
Holly broke the short period of silence.
“How do you feel?”
“Surprisingly good” he responded
Despite his feeling unburdened there was an awkward silence so Steve disappeared down to the kitchen to make them a snack.
He wondered if he should have held back and if he had unnerved Holly with his honesty.
When he had finished with the snack he put it on a tray and carried it upstairs to the lounge where Holly greeted his arrival with a smile.
“God that was good” Holly said after consuming his offering with relish
“Every cloud has a silver lining” he said referring to the reason he learned to cook,
“There is always a positive” Holly said “you just have to look for it”
“Well that’s what I plan to do” he said and cleared the plates away
“I’ll pour us another drink” He said
When he returned she was sitting with a Christmas present on her lap and she was smiling broadly.
“Happy Christmas” she said as she handed him the gift
“What’s this?” he asked
“Well open it and find out” Holly answered
“I wasn’t expecting a present” he said
Steve sat down and squeezed the package
“Oh no not another Christmas sweater” he said and Holly giggled as he tore the paper open.
But when he had removed all the paper and unfolded its contents he saw it was indeed a sweater but not a novelty Christmas one but a plain blue cashmere.
“That’s fantastic” he said enthusiastically “I love it
“Try it on then” Holly insisted and stood up
Holly took hold of the new one while Steve removed the one he was wearing and then they swapped.
As Steve pulled the cashmere over his head Holly held the novelty one he had just removed up to her nose and inhaled his scent.
“That looks great” she said when it was on
“It feels it” he said “can I keep it on?”
“Yes” she said and held the other one to her breast
He walked over to the tree and plunged his hand in between the branches.
It was perhaps testament to the progress that he had made over such a short period of time that he had actually bought her a present, which he removed from its hiding place and said
“Happy Christmas”
“When did you put that there?” she asked
“This morning” Steve replied
Holly ripped the paper off like a mad woman until she was left with a little blue presentation box embossed with gold relief.
She looked at it in wide eyed wonder, it was jewelry, and from a quality jeweler’s.
She took a deep breath and then opened it and she gasped.
“It’s lovely” she said as she took it out the box and held the gold pendant in her hand.
It was in the shape of a holly leaf with her name engraved on it.
“I love it” she said “put it on for me”
Steve took the pendant from her and when Holly turned her back to him, she reached back and scooped her hair out of the way while he fastened it.
Then she went to the mirror, stood on her tiptoes and looked at herself and admired the pendant.
“I really love it” Holly said and let out a squeal and then for the second day running they ended the day with a passionate kiss.
Steve Berry had always had a dislike for Christmas, despite all the jollity and faux fun because unlike many of his Christmas mad friends he had no happy Christmas memories to anesthetise him against the season.
His parents were alcoholics and each year their Christmas came in a bottle and thanks to his father Steve’s came with a slap.
So his childhood Christmases were memories he would rather have forgotten.
But adulthood brought no relief and it always seemed to him that when shit happens Christmas just magnifies the misery.
If someone dies at Christmas the very season makes it more keenly felt.
He could testify to that as his mother died on Christmas Eve when he was 19.
He has no idea where his father is and quite frankly he doesn’t care.
He never showed up for the funeral and he could be dead as well for all he knew.
So as a result he has never trusted Christmas, he knows that shit lurks beneath the coloured lights and paper chains.
That was until Holly Davis opened his eyes to new possibilities and he realised that Christmas could also magnify joy.
He had found himself working behind the bar in her Uncle Phil’s pub, the Pig and Whistle.
He was still uncertain quite how she managed to affect that, but affect it she did and during the ten days working for her she had turned his life upside down and it culminated on Christmas Eve with him wishing her a Merry Christmas and kissing her at closing time.
Judging by the way Holly responded Steve hoped that kiss on Christmas Eve might have been the start of something but alas for him it didn’t lead anywhere.
Holly had indeed responded to his advance and in fact had been hoping for it but she knew it was far too soon to throw caution to the wind.
There were scabs as yet unpicked regarding Steve Berry that needed to be attended to before she completely let down her guard.
Holly considered him to be a work in progress she thought he had potential but he still needed work but there was certainly hope for him.
The other event that occurred on Christmas Eve was a prolonged snowfall which resulted in them being snowed in.
Holly was due to go to lunch at her cousin’s house but as she lived 30 miles away it was not possible to make the journey safely with the amount of snow that was laying.
Steve was due to spend the day alone not celebrating Christmas at all but Holly invited him to spend the day with her instead as he hadn’t risked driving home the night before.
He would have been quite happy to have slept on one of the bench seats in the lounge bar as he had once before but Holly insisted he use the spare room.
So that was how Steve Berry came to celebrate his first ever Christmas and why he was sitting at the bar nursing a cup of coffee in the clothes he had been wearing the night before.
“Morning” he said as she appeared behind the bar
“Happy Christmas” Holly said and reached over and kissed his cheek.
Now it was not the kiss he was hoping for and it was not possessed of the passion that accompanied the embrace of the night before but that simple peck on the cheek held within it, hope.
“God its cold in here” she said
“Yes, there was a power cut during the night and it knocked the boiler out” he said
“I’ve relit it but it’ll take a while to warm up”
“This was not the Christmas day I had in mind” Holly said putting the collar of her dressing gown up
“Nor me” he added
She was supposed to be dining on a sumptuous feast at her cousin’s house, while he was supposed to be in self-imposed exile at his flat.
“Do you want a drink?” he asked
“Oh yes please” she replied and Steve got up and went to the kitchen returning a few minutes later with a steaming mug of tea
“Thanks hon” she said and winced at her involuntary over familiarization and quickly went on
“I don’t know what we are going to eat today” Holly said
“We will need to ferret in the freezer”
“I didn’t know ferret was traditional Christmas fare” Steve said
“You know what I mean” she said “Can you cook?”
“A bit” he replied
“Good because I’m rubbish” Holly admitted
Steve actually undersold himself when he said he could cook a bit
He could in fact cook very well, exceptionally well.
Steve not being a traditionalist or a fan of the season could certainly make something out of what was on hand in the kitchen.
Holly however wanted to have a roast lunch, with all the trimmings, but after they checked the freezer they had to rule out a roast dinner as the joints would never have defrosted in time, but there were alternatives.
The fresh vegetable stores were limited but more than sufficient for two people.
Although she couldn’t cook herself Holly was determined to help firstly by peeling the potatoes and carrots and then by getting out of his way so he could get on by taking herself off upstairs to get ready for the day.
While Holly was gone Steve finished preparing the food and he was pleased that he had achieved something to suit Holly’s traditional wishes at least in part.
He had just reached the point where he could safely leave the kitchen and get showered and shaved when Holly reappeared and he was stopped in his tracks.
She looked stunning, her mousy hair, washed and styled was adorned with Christmas slides and she was wearing a white wool dress decorated with poinsettias.
And her shapely legs were covered by black tights with motifs of bows and parcels.
As he looked at her he thought to himself that he’d like them to be stockings rather than tights but nice legs were nice legs regardless of what they were sheathed in.
“Wow” Steve exclaimed
“Wow” he said again and Holly blushed
“It’s a Christmas dress you know” she said
“I don’t care” he said
“But you don’t like Christmas”
“It’s growing on me”
“Good” she said “you won’t mind wearing this then”
When would he ever learn, He now had to wear another blessed Christmas sweater.
“Where do you keep getting them from?” he asked
“They’re Uncle Phil’s” she replied “I buy him one every year”
“I’ve never seen Phil in a Christmas jumper” Steve said
“No nor of I” Holly agreed
The Girl in the Christmas Dress (Part Two)
Steve went upstairs, showered and shaved and returned to find Holly had laid a table in the lounge bar, complete with festive serviettes, candles, party poppers and crackers.
On the CD player the Puppini Sisters were in full voice and his natural aversion to Christmas music was tempered by the fact he caught Holly singing and dancing along with the music.
He stayed out of sight in the doorway so he could enjoy the spectacle as long as possible.
When she eventually became aware of him she blushed redder than the poinsettias on her dress.
“How long have you been standing there?” she said suddenly flustered and began fussing with the table.
“Long enough” Steve replied
“You should have said something” Holly said as she headed towards the kitchen
“What and spoil the show” he replied as he followed close behind
Holly carried on with the table while Steve checked the oven and ten minutes later he was transferring everything to serving dishes which Holly took to the table.
All he had left to do was make the gravy and get the Yorkshire puddings out of the oven.
Christmas dinner was as traditional as he could manage given the limits of the provisions available.
It was Holly’s turn to say “Wow” as he served Chicken breast wrapped in bacon, served with Roast potatoes, roast parsnips, carrots, peas, stuffing and Yorkshire pudding.
“What no starters” she said tongue in cheek
Holly lit the candles and Steve opened the wine they pulled the crackers and she made him wear a paper hat.
For desert he served apple pie and ice cream after which they watched the Queens speech.
As soon as the speech was over Holly switched off the TV
“What now?” he asked
“Now we sit and talk” She replied
“You mean “talk”” Steve said
“Yes”
“Do we have to” He said
“How are we supposed to learn about each other if we don’t talk?”
Holly replied
“So what do you want to know?” he said resignedly
“You’re childhood” Holly said with great interest
“What about it?” he replied
“Well, it’s not just Christmas that was unhappy was it”
“No it wasn’t” he replied and Holly settled back to let him unburden himself
“It wasn’t just Christmas, it was Easter, Halloween, birthdays and New Year’s”
He paused and took a drink
“you see My parents were alcoholics, when I was young they managed to somehow keep it under control but once I got to school age I pretty much raised myself, which is how I came to learn to cook because if I didn’t cook I didn’t eat”
They had spent a very pleasant Christmas day together, snowed in at the pub, the last thing he wanted to do was regurgitate the unpleasant moments of his life, particularly as he had been doing his best to forget them.
But once he started he couldn’t stop and by the end of it he was exhausted as they sat in the gathering darkness.
Holly was largely quiet throughout and just added the odd word of encouragement and support.
Holly broke the short period of silence.
“How do you feel?”
“Surprisingly good” he responded
Despite his feeling unburdened there was an awkward silence so Steve disappeared down to the kitchen to make them a snack.
He wondered if he should have held back and if he had unnerved Holly with his honesty.
When he had finished with the snack he put it on a tray and carried it upstairs to the lounge where Holly greeted his arrival with a smile.
“God that was good” Holly said after consuming his offering with relish
“Every cloud has a silver lining” he said referring to the reason he learned to cook,
“There is always a positive” Holly said “you just have to look for it”
“Well that’s what I plan to do” he said and cleared the plates away
“I’ll pour us another drink” He said
When he returned she was sitting with a Christmas present on her lap and she was smiling broadly.
“Happy Christmas” she said as she handed him the gift
“What’s this?” he asked
“Well open it and find out” Holly answered
“I wasn’t expecting a present” he said
Steve sat down and squeezed the package
“Oh no not another Christmas sweater” he said and Holly giggled as he tore the paper open.
But when he had removed all the paper and unfolded its contents he saw it was indeed a sweater but not a novelty Christmas one but a plain blue cashmere.
“That’s fantastic” he said enthusiastically “I love it
“Try it on then” Holly insisted and stood up
Holly took hold of the new one while Steve removed the one he was wearing and then they swapped.
As Steve pulled the cashmere over his head Holly held the novelty one he had just removed up to her nose and inhaled his scent.
“That looks great” she said when it was on
“It feels it” he said “can I keep it on?”
“Yes” she said and held the other one to her breast
He walked over to the tree and plunged his hand in between the branches.
It was perhaps testament to the progress that he had made over such a short period of time that he had actually bought her a present, which he removed from its hiding place and said
“Happy Christmas”
“When did you put that there?” she asked
“This morning” Steve replied
Holly ripped the paper off like a mad woman until she was left with a little blue presentation box embossed with gold relief.
She looked at it in wide eyed wonder, it was jewelry, and from a quality jeweler’s.
She took a deep breath and then opened it and she gasped.
“It’s lovely” she said as she took it out the box and held the gold pendant in her hand.
It was in the shape of a holly leaf with her name engraved on it.
“I love it” she said “put it on for me”
Steve took the pendant from her and when Holly turned her back to him, she reached back and scooped her hair out of the way while he fastened it.
Then she went to the mirror, stood on her tiptoes and looked at herself and admired the pendant.
“I really love it” Holly said and let out a squeal and then for the second day running they ended the day with a passionate kiss.
Labels:
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Christmas Selection Box # 17
TOO MERRY CHRISTMAS
I made too merry yesterday
I had a splendid day
In Christmas celebration
I indulged in every way
But now my head is splitting
The morning after the play
So I will nurse my head
For all of Boxing Day
CHRISTMAS HOLLY
Christmas Holly
Evergreen tree
Christmas Holly
Leaves are prickly
Cut fresh Holly
Full of red berries
Help to make
The season merry
THE BEST CHRISTMAS STORIES – THE GIFT OF THE MAGI
The Gift of the Magi is a short story written by O. Henry, about a young married couple and the challenge of secretly buying Christmas gifts for each other on a shoestring budget.
It is an endearing and sentimental tale with a moral message about unselfishness and thoughtfulness.
With virtually no money to spend on gifts Jim sells his watch to buy combs for Della’s lovely hair and Della sells her hair to buy a chain for Jims watch.
So they end up with useless gifts they cannot use but as a result have given each other the most precious gift in the world, their love.
ARE YOU WEARING GREEN TINSEL?
Are you wearing green tinsel?
Tied around your lustrous curls
Like a goddess of the woods
Are you one of the “nature” girls?
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – LOST HOLIDAY: THE JIM & SUZANNE SHEMWELL STORY
This film is based on a true story about an estranged couple who find themselves lost in the Idaho wilderness after in impromptu snowmobile outing.
It was just before Christmas and when the weather turns they are trapped in a blizzard and the snowfall is so great all the trails are hidden.
Lost and alone Suzanne and Jim Shemwell (Jami Gertz and Dylan Walsh) are forced to confront the reasons why they separated.
Meanwhile their family, when they are not looking for Suzanne and Jim, are looking inward at themselves and re-evaluate their lives and their relationships.
CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 2
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
Walk up to them and say
“Can I take a picture of you Miss,
So I can show Santa exactly
What I want for Christmas”
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 37 LOVE CAME DOWN AT CHRISTMAS
Love Came Down at Christmas
Music by Harold Darke
Lyrics by Christina Rossetti
Love came down at Christmas,
Love all lovely, Love Divine,
Love was born at Christmas,
Star and Angels gave the sign.
Worship we the Godhead,
Love Incarnate, Love Divine,
Worship we our Jesus,
But wherewith for sacred sign?
Love shall be our token,
Love shall be yours and love be mine,
Love to God and all men,
Love for plea and gift and sign.
CHRISTMAS NEW BORN
You came into our lives
A fighter and a screamer
Born to us at Christmas
Just like our redeemer
And how we loved you
Right from the very start
But naming you was hard
What name should we impart?
Then like a light coming on
The answer rang like a bell
You were born at Christmas
So we would call you Noelle
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 20
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favourites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my twentieth selection.
Christmas All Over Again
Written and performed by Tom Petty
Well it's Christmas time again, decorations are all hung by the fire
Everybody's singin', all the bells are ringing out
And it's Christmas all over again, yeah again
Long-distance relatives, haven't seen'em in a long, long time
Yeah I kind of missed 'em, I just don't wanna kiss 'em, no
It's Christmas all over again, yeah again
And all over town little kids gonna get down
And Christmas is a rockin' time, put your body next to mine
Underneath the mistletoe we go, we go
Everybodys singin', all the bells are ringin' out
It's Christmas all over again, yeah again
And right down our block little kids start to rock
And Christmas is a rockin' time, put your body next to mine
Underneath the mistletoe we go, we go
Merry Christmas time come and find you happy and there by your fire
I hope you have a good one, I hope momma gets her shoppin' done
And it's a Christmas all over again
Baby it's Christmas all over again
And it's Christmas all over again
Now let's see...I want a new Rickenbacker guitar,
CHRISTMAS INDULGENCE
We spend the day
Eating more than we should
Turkey and trimmings
And rich Christmas pud
Mince pies and cream
Great petite fours
Pretzels and nuts
Wines and liqueurs
Cookies and marzipan
Chocolate Yule log
Rich Christmas cake
And creamy eggnog
Chocolate Orange
Chocolate Brazils
Hot Bombay mix
Twiglets and Pringles
Sweet candied fruits
Sugar coated almonds
Cold turkey sandwich,
Till I’m suitably rotund
I made too merry yesterday
I had a splendid day
In Christmas celebration
I indulged in every way
But now my head is splitting
The morning after the play
So I will nurse my head
For all of Boxing Day
CHRISTMAS HOLLY
Christmas Holly
Evergreen tree
Christmas Holly
Leaves are prickly
Cut fresh Holly
Full of red berries
Help to make
The season merry
THE BEST CHRISTMAS STORIES – THE GIFT OF THE MAGI
The Gift of the Magi is a short story written by O. Henry, about a young married couple and the challenge of secretly buying Christmas gifts for each other on a shoestring budget.
It is an endearing and sentimental tale with a moral message about unselfishness and thoughtfulness.
With virtually no money to spend on gifts Jim sells his watch to buy combs for Della’s lovely hair and Della sells her hair to buy a chain for Jims watch.
So they end up with useless gifts they cannot use but as a result have given each other the most precious gift in the world, their love.
ARE YOU WEARING GREEN TINSEL?
Are you wearing green tinsel?
Tied around your lustrous curls
Like a goddess of the woods
Are you one of the “nature” girls?
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – LOST HOLIDAY: THE JIM & SUZANNE SHEMWELL STORY
This film is based on a true story about an estranged couple who find themselves lost in the Idaho wilderness after in impromptu snowmobile outing.
It was just before Christmas and when the weather turns they are trapped in a blizzard and the snowfall is so great all the trails are hidden.
Lost and alone Suzanne and Jim Shemwell (Jami Gertz and Dylan Walsh) are forced to confront the reasons why they separated.
Meanwhile their family, when they are not looking for Suzanne and Jim, are looking inward at themselves and re-evaluate their lives and their relationships.
CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 2
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
Walk up to them and say
“Can I take a picture of you Miss,
So I can show Santa exactly
What I want for Christmas”
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 37 LOVE CAME DOWN AT CHRISTMAS
Love Came Down at Christmas
Music by Harold Darke
Lyrics by Christina Rossetti
Love came down at Christmas,
Love all lovely, Love Divine,
Love was born at Christmas,
Star and Angels gave the sign.
Worship we the Godhead,
Love Incarnate, Love Divine,
Worship we our Jesus,
But wherewith for sacred sign?
Love shall be our token,
Love shall be yours and love be mine,
Love to God and all men,
Love for plea and gift and sign.
CHRISTMAS NEW BORN
You came into our lives
A fighter and a screamer
Born to us at Christmas
Just like our redeemer
And how we loved you
Right from the very start
But naming you was hard
What name should we impart?
Then like a light coming on
The answer rang like a bell
You were born at Christmas
So we would call you Noelle
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 20
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favourites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my twentieth selection.
Christmas All Over Again
Written and performed by Tom Petty
Well it's Christmas time again, decorations are all hung by the fire
Everybody's singin', all the bells are ringing out
And it's Christmas all over again, yeah again
Long-distance relatives, haven't seen'em in a long, long time
Yeah I kind of missed 'em, I just don't wanna kiss 'em, no
It's Christmas all over again, yeah again
And all over town little kids gonna get down
And Christmas is a rockin' time, put your body next to mine
Underneath the mistletoe we go, we go
Everybodys singin', all the bells are ringin' out
It's Christmas all over again, yeah again
And right down our block little kids start to rock
And Christmas is a rockin' time, put your body next to mine
Underneath the mistletoe we go, we go
Merry Christmas time come and find you happy and there by your fire
I hope you have a good one, I hope momma gets her shoppin' done
And it's a Christmas all over again
Baby it's Christmas all over again
And it's Christmas all over again
Now let's see...I want a new Rickenbacker guitar,
CHRISTMAS INDULGENCE
We spend the day
Eating more than we should
Turkey and trimmings
And rich Christmas pud
Mince pies and cream
Great petite fours
Pretzels and nuts
Wines and liqueurs
Cookies and marzipan
Chocolate Yule log
Rich Christmas cake
And creamy eggnog
Chocolate Orange
Chocolate Brazils
Hot Bombay mix
Twiglets and Pringles
Sweet candied fruits
Sugar coated almonds
Cold turkey sandwich,
Till I’m suitably rotund
Labels:
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der Weinachtsmann,
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Folklore,
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Papa Noel,
Père Noël,
Saint Nicholas,
Santa Claus,
Sinter Klaas,
St Nicholas,
Stockings,
Xmas
Thursday, 8 December 2016
Christmas Selection Box # 16
CHRISTMAS BERRY
The Christmas berry
Evergreen and spiny
With flowers of every hue
From white to blue
With abundant berries
Bright red as cherries
A CAROL FOR THE 21ST CENTURY – WE THREE KINGS
We three Kings of Orient are,
Bearing gifts we traverse afar,
Beer and liqueur
CD and voucher
Following yonder star
THE BEST CHRISTMAS STORIES – CHRISTMAS NOVELLA # 5
The Haunted Man and the Ghost’s Bargain, A Fancy for Christmas-Time
The Haunted Man and the Ghost’s Bargain, A Fancy for Christmas-Time was written by Charles Dickens.
It’s perhaps more often known as The Haunted Man and the Ghost’s Bargain or even just as The Haunted Man.
It was the fifth and final Christmas novella and was first published in 1848.
It is more a story about the spirit of Christmas than about Christmas itself, in the same style as A Christmas Carol, the first in the series of Christmas books.
But instead of Ebeneezer Scrooge the story centres on a Professor Redlaw and those close to him.
Redlaw, a teacher of chemistry is an embittered man who often broods over wrongs done him and grief from his past life.
He is haunted by a spirit, who takes away all of his grief and sorrows but without them he develops uncontrollable anger and bitterness as he interacts with those from in his sphere.
The moral of the tale is that you have to remember past sorrows and wrongs done to you and forgive those responsible.
The novel concludes with everyone back to normal and Redlaw, like Ebenezer, a changed man.
ARE YOU WEARING RED TINSEL?
Are you wearing red tinsel?
Tied amidst your lustrous curls
Red can be a devilish colour
So are you a devilish kind of girl?
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE CASE FOR CHRISTMAS
This is a variation on the classic “Miracle On 34th Street” which has Santa facing a class-action suit for disappointing children at Christmas.
As a result he hires, widower and single parent, Michael Sherman (Dean Cain) as his lawyer. He chose Michael in order to both defend the lawsuit and to give Santa the chance to bring Michael out of his emotional malaise.
Although it doesn’t in anyway live up to “Miracle On 34th Street” it is still a very enjoyable piece of Christmas entertainment.
Santa is portrayed exceptionally well by George Buza while the love interest Lauren, (Rachel Blanchard) is an absolute delight.
Also the hero’s daughter Lily Sherman (Helen Colliander) gives a particularly mature performance.
All round it is an excellent movie although the Elves are a little annoying.
LAST CHRISTMAS I GAVE YOU # 3
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,
But I’m sorry to say,
That your gift to me
Was chlamydia
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 52 BLUE CHRISTMAS
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my fifty second selection.
"Blue Christmas"
Written by Billy Hayes and Jay W. Johnson
Performed by Elvis Presley
I’ll have a blue Christmas without you
I’ll be so blue just thinking about you
Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree
Won’t be the same dear, if you're not here with me
And when those blue snowflakes start falling
That's when those blue memories start calling
You’ll be doin all right, with your Christmas of white
But I'll have a blue, blue blue blue Christmas
[Instrumental]
You’ll be doin all right, with your Christmas of white,
But I'll have a blue, blue Christmas
CHRISTMAS ARRIVAL
So what should we name you?
On such an auspicious day
It must be a fitting name
And chosen in a respectful way
We couldn’t name you Jesus
That just wouldn’t fit
You couldn’t go thru life
Named Jesus Schmitt
And anyway you’re a girl
So we named you Kit
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 35 CANDLELIGHT CAROL
Candlelight Carol
Music and lyrics written by John Rutter
How do you capture the wind on the water?
How do you count all the stars in the sky?
How do you measure the love of a mother
Or how can you write down a baby's first cry?
Candlelight, angel light, firelight and star-glow
Shine on his cradle till breaking of dawn
Silent night, holy night, all is calm and all is bright
Angels are singing; the Christ child is born
Shepherds and wise men will kneel and adore him
Seraphim round him their vigil will keep
Nations proclaim him their Lord and their Saviour
But Mary will hold him and sing him to sleep
Candlelight, angel light, firelight and star-glow
Shine on his cradle till breaking of dawn
Silent night, holy night, all is calm and all is bright
Angels are singing; the Christ child is born
Find him at Bethlehem laid in a manger
Christ our Redeemer asleep in the hay
Godhead incarnate and hope of salvation
A child with his mother that first Christmas Day
Candlelight, angel light, firelight and star-glow
Shine on his cradle till breaking of dawn
Silent night, holy night, all is calm and all is bright
Angels are singing; the Christ child is born
CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 1
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During the Christmas season
Walk up to them and say
“They call me Jingle Bells
Because I go all the way”
The Christmas berry
Evergreen and spiny
With flowers of every hue
From white to blue
With abundant berries
Bright red as cherries
A CAROL FOR THE 21ST CENTURY – WE THREE KINGS
We three Kings of Orient are,
Bearing gifts we traverse afar,
Beer and liqueur
CD and voucher
Following yonder star
THE BEST CHRISTMAS STORIES – CHRISTMAS NOVELLA # 5
The Haunted Man and the Ghost’s Bargain, A Fancy for Christmas-Time
The Haunted Man and the Ghost’s Bargain, A Fancy for Christmas-Time was written by Charles Dickens.
It’s perhaps more often known as The Haunted Man and the Ghost’s Bargain or even just as The Haunted Man.
It was the fifth and final Christmas novella and was first published in 1848.
It is more a story about the spirit of Christmas than about Christmas itself, in the same style as A Christmas Carol, the first in the series of Christmas books.
But instead of Ebeneezer Scrooge the story centres on a Professor Redlaw and those close to him.
Redlaw, a teacher of chemistry is an embittered man who often broods over wrongs done him and grief from his past life.
He is haunted by a spirit, who takes away all of his grief and sorrows but without them he develops uncontrollable anger and bitterness as he interacts with those from in his sphere.
The moral of the tale is that you have to remember past sorrows and wrongs done to you and forgive those responsible.
The novel concludes with everyone back to normal and Redlaw, like Ebenezer, a changed man.
ARE YOU WEARING RED TINSEL?
Are you wearing red tinsel?
Tied amidst your lustrous curls
Red can be a devilish colour
So are you a devilish kind of girl?
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE CASE FOR CHRISTMAS
This is a variation on the classic “Miracle On 34th Street” which has Santa facing a class-action suit for disappointing children at Christmas.
As a result he hires, widower and single parent, Michael Sherman (Dean Cain) as his lawyer. He chose Michael in order to both defend the lawsuit and to give Santa the chance to bring Michael out of his emotional malaise.
Although it doesn’t in anyway live up to “Miracle On 34th Street” it is still a very enjoyable piece of Christmas entertainment.
Santa is portrayed exceptionally well by George Buza while the love interest Lauren, (Rachel Blanchard) is an absolute delight.
Also the hero’s daughter Lily Sherman (Helen Colliander) gives a particularly mature performance.
All round it is an excellent movie although the Elves are a little annoying.
LAST CHRISTMAS I GAVE YOU # 3
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,
But I’m sorry to say,
That your gift to me
Was chlamydia
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 52 BLUE CHRISTMAS
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favorites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my fifty second selection.
"Blue Christmas"
Written by Billy Hayes and Jay W. Johnson
Performed by Elvis Presley
I’ll have a blue Christmas without you
I’ll be so blue just thinking about you
Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree
Won’t be the same dear, if you're not here with me
And when those blue snowflakes start falling
That's when those blue memories start calling
You’ll be doin all right, with your Christmas of white
But I'll have a blue, blue blue blue Christmas
[Instrumental]
You’ll be doin all right, with your Christmas of white,
But I'll have a blue, blue Christmas
CHRISTMAS ARRIVAL
So what should we name you?
On such an auspicious day
It must be a fitting name
And chosen in a respectful way
We couldn’t name you Jesus
That just wouldn’t fit
You couldn’t go thru life
Named Jesus Schmitt
And anyway you’re a girl
So we named you Kit
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 35 CANDLELIGHT CAROL
Candlelight Carol
Music and lyrics written by John Rutter
How do you capture the wind on the water?
How do you count all the stars in the sky?
How do you measure the love of a mother
Or how can you write down a baby's first cry?
Candlelight, angel light, firelight and star-glow
Shine on his cradle till breaking of dawn
Silent night, holy night, all is calm and all is bright
Angels are singing; the Christ child is born
Shepherds and wise men will kneel and adore him
Seraphim round him their vigil will keep
Nations proclaim him their Lord and their Saviour
But Mary will hold him and sing him to sleep
Candlelight, angel light, firelight and star-glow
Shine on his cradle till breaking of dawn
Silent night, holy night, all is calm and all is bright
Angels are singing; the Christ child is born
Find him at Bethlehem laid in a manger
Christ our Redeemer asleep in the hay
Godhead incarnate and hope of salvation
A child with his mother that first Christmas Day
Candlelight, angel light, firelight and star-glow
Shine on his cradle till breaking of dawn
Silent night, holy night, all is calm and all is bright
Angels are singing; the Christ child is born
CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 1
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During the Christmas season
Walk up to them and say
“They call me Jingle Bells
Because I go all the way”
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Wednesday, 7 December 2016
Christmas Selection Box # 15
A CAROL FOR THE 21ST CENTURY – RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose,
And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows,
All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names,
They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.
(Now I don’t want you to think it was because he was a freak
The simple truth is Rudolph was a really anti social little bastard)
ARE YOU WEARING GOLDEN TINSEL?
Are you wearing Golden tinsel?
Tied amidst your lustrous curls
It makes you look so beautiful
And more like an angel than a girl
THE BEST CHRISTMAS STORIES – CHRISTMAS NOVELLA # 4
The Battle of Life: A Love Story
The Battle of Life: A Love Story is Christmas novella number four by Charles Dickens, first published in 1846.
It is set in an English village that stands on the site of a historic battle.
Some characters refer to the battle as a metaphor for the struggles of life, hence the title.
Uniquely it is the only one of the five Christmas Books that has no religious of supernatural themes and is ostensibly a love story for two sisters, Grace and Marion.
As is typical with Dickens however the ending is a happy one.
LAST CHRISTMAS I GAVE YOU # 2
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,
But I’m sorry to say,
You really
Needed a kidney
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – WILL YOU MERRY ME?
Despite the silly title it’s actually a very enjoyable film.
It’s about Rebecca Fine (Vikki Krinsky) a Jewish girl. From an upper class Los Angeles family and Henry Kringle (Tommy Lioutas), from a choir-singing, church going, dyed in the wool traditionalist family from the Midwest who are in love.
Not only that they become engaged just before Christmas and as a result the Fine’s agree to delay their vacation in Aspen and meet the Kringle’s the week of Hanukah just before Christmas in Madison, Wisconsin.
Which is when the humour really starts as the two cultures collide and despite both sides good intentions and their trying to respect each other’s' traditions, it turns out to be a bumpy ride.
The film is definitely at its funniest when the main protagonists, Suzie Fine (Wendie Malick) and Marilyn Kringle (Cynthia Stevenson) butt antlers.
Very enjoyable and well worth a watch you will soon forget the silly title.
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 12
Twas the night before Christmas
And all thru the bungalow
not a creature was stirring
In the firelight glow
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 34 I HEARD THE BELLS ON CHRISTMAS DAY
I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day
Music by Johnny Marks
Lyrics written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men.
And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along the unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.
Till ringing, singing on its way
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good will to men.
And in despair I bowed my head
“There is no peace on earth,” I said,
“For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.”
Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men.”
CHRISTMAS GREEN
The Christmas green
Festively untypical
It’s just a club moss
With creeping stems
Similar to ferns
With erect branches
It has no scarlet hues
Nor star shaped flowers
It’s quite unremarkably
Just another evergreen
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 19
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favourites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my nineteenth selection.
In Dulci Jubilo
Music by Mike Oldfield, Lyrics by M. Oldfield / W. Murray
Good Christian men, rejoice,
With heart and soul, and voice;
Give ye heed to what we say:
Jesus Christ is born to-day;
Ox and ass before him bow,
And he is in the manger now.
Christ is born to-day!
Christ is born to-day!
Good Christian men, rejoice,
With heart and soul, and voice;
Now ye hear of endless bliss:
Jesus Christ was born for this!
He hath oped the heavenly door,
And man is blessed evermore.
Christ was born for this!
Christ was born for this!
Good Christian men, rejoice,
With heart and soul, and voice;
Now ye need not fear the grave:
Jesus Christ was born to save!
Calls you one and calls you all
To gain his everlasting hall.
Christ was born to save!
Christ was born to save!
WHEN MY LITTLE DOG’S SETTLE DOWN
When my little dog’s settle down
On Christmas Eve amidst the snores
The little doggies dream like a child
And they dream about Santa Paws
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose,
And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows,
All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names,
They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.
(Now I don’t want you to think it was because he was a freak
The simple truth is Rudolph was a really anti social little bastard)
ARE YOU WEARING GOLDEN TINSEL?
Are you wearing Golden tinsel?
Tied amidst your lustrous curls
It makes you look so beautiful
And more like an angel than a girl
THE BEST CHRISTMAS STORIES – CHRISTMAS NOVELLA # 4
The Battle of Life: A Love Story
The Battle of Life: A Love Story is Christmas novella number four by Charles Dickens, first published in 1846.
It is set in an English village that stands on the site of a historic battle.
Some characters refer to the battle as a metaphor for the struggles of life, hence the title.
Uniquely it is the only one of the five Christmas Books that has no religious of supernatural themes and is ostensibly a love story for two sisters, Grace and Marion.
As is typical with Dickens however the ending is a happy one.
LAST CHRISTMAS I GAVE YOU # 2
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,
But I’m sorry to say,
You really
Needed a kidney
THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – WILL YOU MERRY ME?
Despite the silly title it’s actually a very enjoyable film.
It’s about Rebecca Fine (Vikki Krinsky) a Jewish girl. From an upper class Los Angeles family and Henry Kringle (Tommy Lioutas), from a choir-singing, church going, dyed in the wool traditionalist family from the Midwest who are in love.
Not only that they become engaged just before Christmas and as a result the Fine’s agree to delay their vacation in Aspen and meet the Kringle’s the week of Hanukah just before Christmas in Madison, Wisconsin.
Which is when the humour really starts as the two cultures collide and despite both sides good intentions and their trying to respect each other’s' traditions, it turns out to be a bumpy ride.
The film is definitely at its funniest when the main protagonists, Suzie Fine (Wendie Malick) and Marilyn Kringle (Cynthia Stevenson) butt antlers.
Very enjoyable and well worth a watch you will soon forget the silly title.
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 12
Twas the night before Christmas
And all thru the bungalow
not a creature was stirring
In the firelight glow
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS CAROL # 34 I HEARD THE BELLS ON CHRISTMAS DAY
I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day
Music by Johnny Marks
Lyrics written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men.
And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along the unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.
Till ringing, singing on its way
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good will to men.
And in despair I bowed my head
“There is no peace on earth,” I said,
“For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.”
Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men.”
CHRISTMAS GREEN
The Christmas green
Festively untypical
It’s just a club moss
With creeping stems
Similar to ferns
With erect branches
It has no scarlet hues
Nor star shaped flowers
It’s quite unremarkably
Just another evergreen
FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG # 19
Despite the general awfulness of the Christmas song there are however always exceptions to the rule and I have a short list of personal favourites.
Without exception all my choices not only include the song but the best performer of that song and so in no particular order here is my nineteenth selection.
In Dulci Jubilo
Music by Mike Oldfield, Lyrics by M. Oldfield / W. Murray
Good Christian men, rejoice,
With heart and soul, and voice;
Give ye heed to what we say:
Jesus Christ is born to-day;
Ox and ass before him bow,
And he is in the manger now.
Christ is born to-day!
Christ is born to-day!
Good Christian men, rejoice,
With heart and soul, and voice;
Now ye hear of endless bliss:
Jesus Christ was born for this!
He hath oped the heavenly door,
And man is blessed evermore.
Christ was born for this!
Christ was born for this!
Good Christian men, rejoice,
With heart and soul, and voice;
Now ye need not fear the grave:
Jesus Christ was born to save!
Calls you one and calls you all
To gain his everlasting hall.
Christ was born to save!
Christ was born to save!
WHEN MY LITTLE DOG’S SETTLE DOWN
When my little dog’s settle down
On Christmas Eve amidst the snores
The little doggies dream like a child
And they dream about Santa Paws
Labels:
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der Weinachtsmann,
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Père Noël,
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Tuesday, 6 December 2016
The Girl in the Red Dress
The Girl in the Red Dress (Part One)
Steve Berry had always had a dislike for Christmas, despite all the jollity and faux fun because unlike many of his Christmas mad friends he had no happy Christmas memories to anesthetise him against the season.
His parents were alcoholics and each year their Christmas came in a bottle and thanks to his father Steve’s came with a slap.
So his childhood Christmases were memories he would rather have forgotten.
But adulthood brought no relief and it always seemed to him that when shit happens Christmas just magnifies the misery.
If someone dies at Christmas the very season makes it more keenly felt.
He could testify to that as his mother died on Christmas Eve when he was 19.
He has no idea where his father is and quite frankly he doesn’t care.
He never showed up for the funeral and he could be dead as well for all he knew.
So as a result he has never trusted Christmas, he knows that shit lurks beneath the coloured lights and paper chains.
He used to dream of getting away at Christmas and going somewhere that doesn’t celebrate it in any way shape or form.
But where exactly is that place. If anyone has any ideas then answers on a postcard to Steve Berry.
So each year like the rest of us he is subjected to all the usual false jollity, Christmas Parties, Secret Santa’s and Christmas Lunch, Paper hats, crackers and all that shit.
And everywhere he would go from October onwards was bedecked with tinsel, garlands, bells, baubles and led lights.
Each and every shop plays endless spools of regurgitated Christmas tunes and God forbid you ever broach the subject of the morons who decorate the outside of their houses.
Steve never had a girlfriend at Christmas he always dumped them. Or got himself dumped, when they started to get too jolly.
So when he was 21 he developed the perfect anti Christmas strategy.
He would always save a chunk of annual leave and finished work at least one week before the big day and returned after the New Year debacle.
He would stock up with food along with the other festive numpties and armed with a stack of DVD box sets he became a Christmas recluse until the year turned.
It’s been 9 years now and he believes so far so good.
He has found it has become easier over the years with catch up TV, he just needed to avoid the adverts that remind him that it’s Christmas or that he can’t afford a holiday.
So he was in the Pig and Whistle, not exactly a real shit hole of a pub but the only one in town guaranteed not to play Christmas stuff because the landlord Phil hated Christmas almost as much as Steve did.
It was his last night out before his Christmas exile and it was his intention to get totally shitfaced as he had almost three weeks to recover.
He was not a social animal, he liked his own company and if he ever engaged in conversation with fellow patrons it was because he had initiated it.
He was averse to being rude if someone else spoke first.
So he was just enjoying his third pint as he sat in the furthest most corner of the bar reading his book when it happened.
“Hello” she said
Steve ignored her, normally if he didn’t respond they’d get the message and go away
“Hello” she said louder “Are you ok?”
“I was” he sighed
“Oh dear Mr Grinch” she said “what you need is some Christmas spirit”
“I’m fine” he insisted
“I don’t think you are sitting on your own in the furthest most corner” she said
Steve looked at her for the first time, she was roughly his age, maybe a little younger, and she was wearing a red dress and red and white striped stockings and had tinsel in her mousy hair.
“Who are you? The Christmas fairy?” he asked gruffly
He wanted to tell her to fuck off but she was quite cute.
“No I’m Holly, Phil’s niece” she said
“Holly? How very festive” He said sarcastically
“Yes I’m going to instil a little Christmas spirit” Holly said
“But Phil hates Christmas” Steve informed her
“I know” she said “which is why he’s going to Las Vegas until the New Year”
“When?” He asked
“Half an hour ago” she replied
“So are you going to come and join the rest of us?”
“No thanks I don’t do Christmas” he said and returned to his book
“Oh well perhaps some Christmas music will get you in the mood” she said resolutely
“Oh God” he said
The Christmas party mix was really grating on him but he was too far along with his Christmas strategy to go off hunting for another Christmas free pub so he had to put up with it.
As the evening wore on she persisted in trying to draw him out of his corner, but to no avail.
He left the corner only to go to the bar and get another drink and then returned to his solitude.
Apart from the music upsetting his plans there was the added annoyance of customers, more arriving every hour, word had got out that Phil “The Grinch who stole Christmas” had gone for the duration, and that there was a new Santa in town.
This only became a problem however when while he was at the bar and somebody took over his corner.
So he returned to the bar again.
“Back again already Steve?” Holly asked
“Someone is in my seat” he said
“Well pull up a stool” she suggested
“Do I have a choice?” he said grumpily
“You’re just a little ray of sunshine” she said and laughed
“I can see I’m going to have to use all my magic on you”
He settled himself down
“I’ve never seen it so busy in here” Steve said
“I know” Holly said “I’m going to need more staff at this rate”
“Good luck with that” he said
The Girl in the Red Dress (Part Two)
He woke up the next morning with his face stuck to the mock leather of a bench seat.
And when he painfully sat himself up he saw he was in the lounge bar of the Pig and Whistle.
Well he had intended getting shit faced the night before, so mission accomplished there, he had expected to wake up with a hangover, so another box ticked, but it was never part of the plan to wake up at the pub.
“Good morning sunshine” Holly called as she crashed through the door wearing a dressing gown and slippers.
“Ow” he said “have some respect for the dead”
She put a mug of black coffee on the table in front of him and peered at his bloodshot eyes
“Blimey! Can you actually see through those?” she asked
“I hope you don’t drink like that when you’re working”
“Well I don’t need to worry about work until January” he said and sipped at his coffee
“Don’t you remember anything about last night?” Holly asked with a wry smile on her lips
He closed his eyes and replied
“I remember I don’t like Christmas”
“Anything else?” Holly persisted
“It was very busy, very noisy” Steve said but could remember nothing else
“Do you remember me saying I needed more staff?” she asked
“Yes I do remember that” he replied
“Good” she said “because your it”
“What?” he said loudly and then winced
“You volunteered to work right through till New Year’s Eve”
“I can’t have” Steve said
“Well you did” She insisted and showed him a piece of paper detailing the fore mentioned offer signed by Steve.
“That doesn’t count” he said “I was pissed”
“It’s legally binding” Holly stated “It’s notarized by a solicitor”
Steve stared at the signature
“Sam Culver?” he said “he’s not a solicitor he’s a forklift driver”
“Be that as it may he has still witnessed your signature on this contract” she said coolly
“Contract?” he said in disbelieve
“Contract” she confirmed
“Oh please you’re not really going to hold me to this?” Steve said waving the “contract” in her direction
“You start tonight” she informed him
“Oh God I’ve sold my soul to the Christmas fairy” he said with his head in his hands
“I prefer Christmas angel” she said “But I’m not the one with tinsel in my hair”
“Oh shit” he exclaimed
“Get yourself a hair of the dog, I’m going to get dressed” Holly said smiling
“Oh and there’s no drinking on the job, by the way”
Over the week and a half that followed his entrapment, between his first shift and Christmas Eve, Holly had done her best to elicit the details of why it was that Steve hated Christmas so much.
Holly had noticed right at the beginning that he was not the miserable git that she first thought.
In fact that first night when he was forced to sit at the bar he had been very funny, once he managed to forget it was Christmas.
But every time he heard someone utter the words happy Christmas it was like he’d been stabbed.
So she relentlessly picked away at the scab every day, but she couldn’t get him to open up, but she wasn’t prepared to give up under any circumstances.
Steve would never have admitted it and despite his initial protests he was rather enjoying working behind a bar again.
He hadn’t done it since he left university and started working as an accountant.
The repetitive festive music still grated on him, though less so, even the Christmas t-shirts and jumpers that Holly made him wear had become less onerous.
Holly herself led by example and wore an almost inexhaustible supply of festive outfits and he had to admit she still looked cute in which ever one she was wearing.
She was a nosey cow though and kept poking and prodding at him trying to find out what made him tick.
But it amused him that his not playing ball was driving her crackers.
The Girl in the Red Dress (Part Three)
On Christmas Eve he drove to the pub, arriving at 9.30am, and thought
“It’s going to be a long day”
It was bitterly cold and the sky was grey and overcast, he sniffed the air and knocked on the front door which Holly opened within a couple of minutes and she was already dressed in her Christmas outfit, namely Mrs. Clause.
“Morning Steve” she said “Happy Christmas Eve”
“Why are you always so cheerful?” he asked in response
“Because “it’s a wonderful life”” she said
“Oh God are you going to throw festive film titles at me all day?”
“I hadn’t thought of that” she said “but it sounds like fun”
He took his coat off and revealed his jumper of the day adorned with a reindeers head.
“There’s snow in the air” he said hanging up his coat
“Lovely” she replied with a chuckle “White Christmas”
“Stop it” Steve said
Holly had walked to the bar picked something up and returned with it behind her back.
“What’s that?” he asked suspiciously
“Antlers” she said triumphantly and put them on his head
“Please no” he said “that’s too much”
“Stop whining Grinch or I’ll put the Christmas tape on” she threatened
They knew it was going to be busy in the pub that day so in addition to Holly and Steve there were barmaids Clare and Petra and in the kitchen were Stefano and Ausra.
It wasn’t manically busy but there was a steady flow all day, shoppers popping in for a warm, that kind of thing, and as it was such a bitter cold day the kitchen did a roaring trade in warming chili, casseroles and stews so much so that they kept the kitchen going right through the afternoon.
It was not however a day for cold desserts.
By five o’clock they had sold out and the till drawers were stuffed.
Holly kept taking them away to the office but they kept filling up.
While Holly counted the takings in the office, Steve and Petra manned the bar and Clare helped Steph and Ausra clear away.
Job done they joined Steve at the bar and were enjoying a well-earned drink when Holly came out.
“Well done you lot” she said “I hope that drink is on the house”
“It is” Steve said
“We have had a phenomenal day” she said handing out pay packets “so there’s a little something extra in there”
“Thanks boss” Stephanos said
“Cheers Hol” Petra
“Thanks Holly” Clare and Ausra said simultaneously
What she didn’t tell them was that the little extra was 100 pounds per head, they wouldn’t find that out until later.
“Where’s mine?” Steve asked
“Grinch tax” Holly said to the great amusement of the others and patted his cheek
“Charming” he replied but was laughing when he said it he knew that the others were finished until after Christmas he still and the evening shift.
Although he wasn’t bothered about the money particularly he knew he would get it, he had actually enjoyed Christmas Eve for the first time ever.
They all finished their drinks and it was the moment that Steve hated most, the final farewell when Christmas wishes were exchanged.
“Merry Christmas” Clare said and kissed Steve
“And you” he replied
“Happy Christmas Stevie” Ausra said kissing him
“Yes you too” said Steve
Happy, Happy Christmas” Petra said planting a very exuberant kiss on his mouth
“Ditto” he replied
“A very happy Christmas my friend” Stephanos said extravagantly and feigned to kiss him but shook his hand instead and roared with laughter.
“Have a good one” Steve said and also laughed.
When they had gone Steve noticed it had started snowing lightly.
“So why can’t you say Happy Christmas?” Holly asked
“I told you it was going to snow” he said
“Don’t change the subject” Holly persisted
“I can say it, I just didn’t need to as everyone else said it”
He answered “I didn’t want to wear the phrase out”
“Baubles” Holly said
Holly disappeared upstairs for half an hour and when she came down she had changed outfits
She wore a different red Dress with white trim and a more daring neckline
But instead of her customary stripy tights she was wearing black tights with holly motifs, how appropriate Steve thought as he was wiping down the tables in readiness for the next wave of punters.
Steve thought she was quite cute but he would have to liberate her from the Christmas stuff first if she was ever to progress further than cute.
“I wish I’d asked Steph to keep some Chili back” Holly said “I’m starving”
“Don’t worry” he said “when Debbie arrives I’ll go over the road and get a take away”
“Ok” she concurred “but what takeaway”
“Your choice, my treat” he replied
“What a Christmas treat?” Holly asked
“No just a treat” he replied and smiled
Debbie arrived right on time.
“The snows settling” she said as she went behind the bar
“Hi Debbie” Holly said
“So what’s your poison?” Steve asked
“Pizza” She replied very definitely “Pepperoni”
“Have you eaten Debbie?” he shouted
“Yes but I can eat a slice or two” she replied
As he walked across the road to Dominoes he noticed the snow was falling faster and would lay quite deep if it persisted.
Despite Debbie saying she would only eat a piece or two he decided to get a pizza each, he’d seen Debbie eat before and for a skinny bird she could really pack it away.
When he got back to the pub the clientele had almost doubled so he thought it was the beginning of the evening rush and wasn’t sure if they’d have time to enjoy the pizzas.
He needn’t have worried it proved to be a false dawn and the rush never materialized.
He was right about one thing Debbie demolished a whole pizza.
By seven o’clock the numbers hadn’t really changed even if the faces had.
And by eight with the snow falling thick and fast in near blizzard conditions it was fairly obvious punters weren’t going to be venturing out in any significant numbers.
Knowing that Debbie had a ten mile journey home Holly said
“I think you’d better get off hon or you won’t get home at all”
“Are you sure Hol?” Debbie asked
“Absolutely” She said and handed Debbie her coat and her pay packet.
“Thanks Holly” she said “Happy Christmas”
“Happy Christmas and drive safely” she said “Text me when your home”
“Ok, happy Christmas Steve” she said
“And you Deb” he replied
The Girl in the Red Dress (Part Four)
Holly had walked to the door with Debbie and stared out the window for a long time as she watched her get underway.
When she returned to the bar she said
“You’d better get off as well Steve”
“No I’ll stay a bit longer” he replied
“This might be your last chance” she said “it’s coming down like billy-o”
“That’s ok” he said “I can always kip in the lounge bar again”
It was a strange night although there weren’t many customers they still managed to sell quite a lot of beer.
They had a succession of punter coming in for jugs of ale, so much so that they ran out of jugs.
But all in all it was very quiet.
So by 9 o’clock Holly said
“Right let’s have a drink”
“I thought you didn’t like the staff drinking on duty” he said
“What the hell its Christmas” she replied and noticed that he visibly tensed at the word Christmas
She pulled him a pint and poured a glass of wine for herself.
And they sat on stools on the punters side of the bar to drink them.
“Do you mind if I crash here tonight Holly? He asked
“I’d rather you crashed here than out there” She replied
“And it looks like my plans for tomorrow will need to be revised, so we can spend the day together, if you like”
“Ok thanks” he said
They were well into their second drink when Holly asked
“So what exactly is the deal with you and Christmas?”
“Do we have to go there” he asked
“Yes we do” she said “I’ve been watching you this week and every time someone wishes you a happy Christmas you react as if you’ve been stabbed”
“Well I wouldn’t go that far” Steve responded
“I would” she said but he just shrugged
“Come on Steve” she insisted “You are such an infuriating man, cough it up”
“Can’t you just leave it alone?” he said
“You can’t tell me you haven’t enjoyed this week” she said “or that you would have preferred to be locked away in your flat pretending that that Christmas was just a bad dream”
Steve drained his glass and went through the hatch and pulled himself another one.
“I don’t want to go into all the details, suffice is to say that for me There was no happy little boy waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve” he said painfully
“My childhood was unbearable and Christmas was even more so”
Holly didn’t speak but sat with head sympathetically inclined
“Not everyone is raised by Mary Poppins” he said factiously
“That’s not very fare” Holly said hurtfully
“I suppose you think my Christmases were happy?”
Steve merely snorted
“I had a lousy Christmases as a child, my parents didn’t believe in it so we didn’t celebrate it,” she said forcefully
But Steve looked unconvinced
“My parents are hippies” She stated “Christmases for me were spent in a VW Camper van on Salisbury plain, don’t get me wrong, I love my parents and for me at the time it seemed perfectly normal and I was perfectly happy”
Holly paused
“And I would get a present, though it was never wrapped in Christmas paper, there was no Christmas trees, No baubles or tinsel, No garlands or colored lights, in my childhood Christmas just didn’t exist”
“So now you’re over compensating” Steve said and took another drink.
“Not at all I decided that feeling sorry for myself was not an option, and
I refused to be dictated to by the past” she said “I decided I would make new memories and stop looking back”
“I was 17 when I first experience a proper Christmas, and I thought it was wonderful, magical and I’ve made sure I’ve enjoyed everyone since”
“There is no similarity between our childhoods” he said
“Your childhood was happy it just didn’t include Christmas,
Mine was desperately unhappy”
“And you blame Christmas for it” Holly said “I know for your life was different, but I want to squeeze the most joy I can from every moment”
Steve just looked at her as she took a brief pause
“Just as you should” She said and put her hand on his knee
At that moment the doors opened and a new group of punters came through the door.
He stood behind the bar drying glasses as he watched Holly as she chatted to the clientele in turn.
He liked it as she walked from table to table, she had a gait that was easy on the eye and the way the flared skirt moved across her legs was quite sensual.
Then one by one the meagre band of customers disappeared into the snowy night.
It was midnight and as the last customer left for the night, Holly wished them a happy Christmas and locked the front doors.
As she slipped the last bolt across and drew the curtain.
Steve appeared behind her just as the church bells chimed.
Holly turned and faced him
“Merry Christmas Holly” he said and kissed her
Steve Berry had always had a dislike for Christmas, despite all the jollity and faux fun because unlike many of his Christmas mad friends he had no happy Christmas memories to anesthetise him against the season.
His parents were alcoholics and each year their Christmas came in a bottle and thanks to his father Steve’s came with a slap.
So his childhood Christmases were memories he would rather have forgotten.
But adulthood brought no relief and it always seemed to him that when shit happens Christmas just magnifies the misery.
If someone dies at Christmas the very season makes it more keenly felt.
He could testify to that as his mother died on Christmas Eve when he was 19.
He has no idea where his father is and quite frankly he doesn’t care.
He never showed up for the funeral and he could be dead as well for all he knew.
So as a result he has never trusted Christmas, he knows that shit lurks beneath the coloured lights and paper chains.
He used to dream of getting away at Christmas and going somewhere that doesn’t celebrate it in any way shape or form.
But where exactly is that place. If anyone has any ideas then answers on a postcard to Steve Berry.
So each year like the rest of us he is subjected to all the usual false jollity, Christmas Parties, Secret Santa’s and Christmas Lunch, Paper hats, crackers and all that shit.
And everywhere he would go from October onwards was bedecked with tinsel, garlands, bells, baubles and led lights.
Each and every shop plays endless spools of regurgitated Christmas tunes and God forbid you ever broach the subject of the morons who decorate the outside of their houses.
Steve never had a girlfriend at Christmas he always dumped them. Or got himself dumped, when they started to get too jolly.
So when he was 21 he developed the perfect anti Christmas strategy.
He would always save a chunk of annual leave and finished work at least one week before the big day and returned after the New Year debacle.
He would stock up with food along with the other festive numpties and armed with a stack of DVD box sets he became a Christmas recluse until the year turned.
It’s been 9 years now and he believes so far so good.
He has found it has become easier over the years with catch up TV, he just needed to avoid the adverts that remind him that it’s Christmas or that he can’t afford a holiday.
So he was in the Pig and Whistle, not exactly a real shit hole of a pub but the only one in town guaranteed not to play Christmas stuff because the landlord Phil hated Christmas almost as much as Steve did.
It was his last night out before his Christmas exile and it was his intention to get totally shitfaced as he had almost three weeks to recover.
He was not a social animal, he liked his own company and if he ever engaged in conversation with fellow patrons it was because he had initiated it.
He was averse to being rude if someone else spoke first.
So he was just enjoying his third pint as he sat in the furthest most corner of the bar reading his book when it happened.
“Hello” she said
Steve ignored her, normally if he didn’t respond they’d get the message and go away
“Hello” she said louder “Are you ok?”
“I was” he sighed
“Oh dear Mr Grinch” she said “what you need is some Christmas spirit”
“I’m fine” he insisted
“I don’t think you are sitting on your own in the furthest most corner” she said
Steve looked at her for the first time, she was roughly his age, maybe a little younger, and she was wearing a red dress and red and white striped stockings and had tinsel in her mousy hair.
“Who are you? The Christmas fairy?” he asked gruffly
He wanted to tell her to fuck off but she was quite cute.
“No I’m Holly, Phil’s niece” she said
“Holly? How very festive” He said sarcastically
“Yes I’m going to instil a little Christmas spirit” Holly said
“But Phil hates Christmas” Steve informed her
“I know” she said “which is why he’s going to Las Vegas until the New Year”
“When?” He asked
“Half an hour ago” she replied
“So are you going to come and join the rest of us?”
“No thanks I don’t do Christmas” he said and returned to his book
“Oh well perhaps some Christmas music will get you in the mood” she said resolutely
“Oh God” he said
The Christmas party mix was really grating on him but he was too far along with his Christmas strategy to go off hunting for another Christmas free pub so he had to put up with it.
As the evening wore on she persisted in trying to draw him out of his corner, but to no avail.
He left the corner only to go to the bar and get another drink and then returned to his solitude.
Apart from the music upsetting his plans there was the added annoyance of customers, more arriving every hour, word had got out that Phil “The Grinch who stole Christmas” had gone for the duration, and that there was a new Santa in town.
This only became a problem however when while he was at the bar and somebody took over his corner.
So he returned to the bar again.
“Back again already Steve?” Holly asked
“Someone is in my seat” he said
“Well pull up a stool” she suggested
“Do I have a choice?” he said grumpily
“You’re just a little ray of sunshine” she said and laughed
“I can see I’m going to have to use all my magic on you”
He settled himself down
“I’ve never seen it so busy in here” Steve said
“I know” Holly said “I’m going to need more staff at this rate”
“Good luck with that” he said
The Girl in the Red Dress (Part Two)
He woke up the next morning with his face stuck to the mock leather of a bench seat.
And when he painfully sat himself up he saw he was in the lounge bar of the Pig and Whistle.
Well he had intended getting shit faced the night before, so mission accomplished there, he had expected to wake up with a hangover, so another box ticked, but it was never part of the plan to wake up at the pub.
“Good morning sunshine” Holly called as she crashed through the door wearing a dressing gown and slippers.
“Ow” he said “have some respect for the dead”
She put a mug of black coffee on the table in front of him and peered at his bloodshot eyes
“Blimey! Can you actually see through those?” she asked
“I hope you don’t drink like that when you’re working”
“Well I don’t need to worry about work until January” he said and sipped at his coffee
“Don’t you remember anything about last night?” Holly asked with a wry smile on her lips
He closed his eyes and replied
“I remember I don’t like Christmas”
“Anything else?” Holly persisted
“It was very busy, very noisy” Steve said but could remember nothing else
“Do you remember me saying I needed more staff?” she asked
“Yes I do remember that” he replied
“Good” she said “because your it”
“What?” he said loudly and then winced
“You volunteered to work right through till New Year’s Eve”
“I can’t have” Steve said
“Well you did” She insisted and showed him a piece of paper detailing the fore mentioned offer signed by Steve.
“That doesn’t count” he said “I was pissed”
“It’s legally binding” Holly stated “It’s notarized by a solicitor”
Steve stared at the signature
“Sam Culver?” he said “he’s not a solicitor he’s a forklift driver”
“Be that as it may he has still witnessed your signature on this contract” she said coolly
“Contract?” he said in disbelieve
“Contract” she confirmed
“Oh please you’re not really going to hold me to this?” Steve said waving the “contract” in her direction
“You start tonight” she informed him
“Oh God I’ve sold my soul to the Christmas fairy” he said with his head in his hands
“I prefer Christmas angel” she said “But I’m not the one with tinsel in my hair”
“Oh shit” he exclaimed
“Get yourself a hair of the dog, I’m going to get dressed” Holly said smiling
“Oh and there’s no drinking on the job, by the way”
Over the week and a half that followed his entrapment, between his first shift and Christmas Eve, Holly had done her best to elicit the details of why it was that Steve hated Christmas so much.
Holly had noticed right at the beginning that he was not the miserable git that she first thought.
In fact that first night when he was forced to sit at the bar he had been very funny, once he managed to forget it was Christmas.
But every time he heard someone utter the words happy Christmas it was like he’d been stabbed.
So she relentlessly picked away at the scab every day, but she couldn’t get him to open up, but she wasn’t prepared to give up under any circumstances.
Steve would never have admitted it and despite his initial protests he was rather enjoying working behind a bar again.
He hadn’t done it since he left university and started working as an accountant.
The repetitive festive music still grated on him, though less so, even the Christmas t-shirts and jumpers that Holly made him wear had become less onerous.
Holly herself led by example and wore an almost inexhaustible supply of festive outfits and he had to admit she still looked cute in which ever one she was wearing.
She was a nosey cow though and kept poking and prodding at him trying to find out what made him tick.
But it amused him that his not playing ball was driving her crackers.
The Girl in the Red Dress (Part Three)
On Christmas Eve he drove to the pub, arriving at 9.30am, and thought
“It’s going to be a long day”
It was bitterly cold and the sky was grey and overcast, he sniffed the air and knocked on the front door which Holly opened within a couple of minutes and she was already dressed in her Christmas outfit, namely Mrs. Clause.
“Morning Steve” she said “Happy Christmas Eve”
“Why are you always so cheerful?” he asked in response
“Because “it’s a wonderful life”” she said
“Oh God are you going to throw festive film titles at me all day?”
“I hadn’t thought of that” she said “but it sounds like fun”
He took his coat off and revealed his jumper of the day adorned with a reindeers head.
“There’s snow in the air” he said hanging up his coat
“Lovely” she replied with a chuckle “White Christmas”
“Stop it” Steve said
Holly had walked to the bar picked something up and returned with it behind her back.
“What’s that?” he asked suspiciously
“Antlers” she said triumphantly and put them on his head
“Please no” he said “that’s too much”
“Stop whining Grinch or I’ll put the Christmas tape on” she threatened
They knew it was going to be busy in the pub that day so in addition to Holly and Steve there were barmaids Clare and Petra and in the kitchen were Stefano and Ausra.
It wasn’t manically busy but there was a steady flow all day, shoppers popping in for a warm, that kind of thing, and as it was such a bitter cold day the kitchen did a roaring trade in warming chili, casseroles and stews so much so that they kept the kitchen going right through the afternoon.
It was not however a day for cold desserts.
By five o’clock they had sold out and the till drawers were stuffed.
Holly kept taking them away to the office but they kept filling up.
While Holly counted the takings in the office, Steve and Petra manned the bar and Clare helped Steph and Ausra clear away.
Job done they joined Steve at the bar and were enjoying a well-earned drink when Holly came out.
“Well done you lot” she said “I hope that drink is on the house”
“It is” Steve said
“We have had a phenomenal day” she said handing out pay packets “so there’s a little something extra in there”
“Thanks boss” Stephanos said
“Cheers Hol” Petra
“Thanks Holly” Clare and Ausra said simultaneously
What she didn’t tell them was that the little extra was 100 pounds per head, they wouldn’t find that out until later.
“Where’s mine?” Steve asked
“Grinch tax” Holly said to the great amusement of the others and patted his cheek
“Charming” he replied but was laughing when he said it he knew that the others were finished until after Christmas he still and the evening shift.
Although he wasn’t bothered about the money particularly he knew he would get it, he had actually enjoyed Christmas Eve for the first time ever.
They all finished their drinks and it was the moment that Steve hated most, the final farewell when Christmas wishes were exchanged.
“Merry Christmas” Clare said and kissed Steve
“And you” he replied
“Happy Christmas Stevie” Ausra said kissing him
“Yes you too” said Steve
Happy, Happy Christmas” Petra said planting a very exuberant kiss on his mouth
“Ditto” he replied
“A very happy Christmas my friend” Stephanos said extravagantly and feigned to kiss him but shook his hand instead and roared with laughter.
“Have a good one” Steve said and also laughed.
When they had gone Steve noticed it had started snowing lightly.
“So why can’t you say Happy Christmas?” Holly asked
“I told you it was going to snow” he said
“Don’t change the subject” Holly persisted
“I can say it, I just didn’t need to as everyone else said it”
He answered “I didn’t want to wear the phrase out”
“Baubles” Holly said
Holly disappeared upstairs for half an hour and when she came down she had changed outfits
She wore a different red Dress with white trim and a more daring neckline
But instead of her customary stripy tights she was wearing black tights with holly motifs, how appropriate Steve thought as he was wiping down the tables in readiness for the next wave of punters.
Steve thought she was quite cute but he would have to liberate her from the Christmas stuff first if she was ever to progress further than cute.
“I wish I’d asked Steph to keep some Chili back” Holly said “I’m starving”
“Don’t worry” he said “when Debbie arrives I’ll go over the road and get a take away”
“Ok” she concurred “but what takeaway”
“Your choice, my treat” he replied
“What a Christmas treat?” Holly asked
“No just a treat” he replied and smiled
Debbie arrived right on time.
“The snows settling” she said as she went behind the bar
“Hi Debbie” Holly said
“So what’s your poison?” Steve asked
“Pizza” She replied very definitely “Pepperoni”
“Have you eaten Debbie?” he shouted
“Yes but I can eat a slice or two” she replied
As he walked across the road to Dominoes he noticed the snow was falling faster and would lay quite deep if it persisted.
Despite Debbie saying she would only eat a piece or two he decided to get a pizza each, he’d seen Debbie eat before and for a skinny bird she could really pack it away.
When he got back to the pub the clientele had almost doubled so he thought it was the beginning of the evening rush and wasn’t sure if they’d have time to enjoy the pizzas.
He needn’t have worried it proved to be a false dawn and the rush never materialized.
He was right about one thing Debbie demolished a whole pizza.
By seven o’clock the numbers hadn’t really changed even if the faces had.
And by eight with the snow falling thick and fast in near blizzard conditions it was fairly obvious punters weren’t going to be venturing out in any significant numbers.
Knowing that Debbie had a ten mile journey home Holly said
“I think you’d better get off hon or you won’t get home at all”
“Are you sure Hol?” Debbie asked
“Absolutely” She said and handed Debbie her coat and her pay packet.
“Thanks Holly” she said “Happy Christmas”
“Happy Christmas and drive safely” she said “Text me when your home”
“Ok, happy Christmas Steve” she said
“And you Deb” he replied
The Girl in the Red Dress (Part Four)
Holly had walked to the door with Debbie and stared out the window for a long time as she watched her get underway.
When she returned to the bar she said
“You’d better get off as well Steve”
“No I’ll stay a bit longer” he replied
“This might be your last chance” she said “it’s coming down like billy-o”
“That’s ok” he said “I can always kip in the lounge bar again”
It was a strange night although there weren’t many customers they still managed to sell quite a lot of beer.
They had a succession of punter coming in for jugs of ale, so much so that they ran out of jugs.
But all in all it was very quiet.
So by 9 o’clock Holly said
“Right let’s have a drink”
“I thought you didn’t like the staff drinking on duty” he said
“What the hell its Christmas” she replied and noticed that he visibly tensed at the word Christmas
She pulled him a pint and poured a glass of wine for herself.
And they sat on stools on the punters side of the bar to drink them.
“Do you mind if I crash here tonight Holly? He asked
“I’d rather you crashed here than out there” She replied
“And it looks like my plans for tomorrow will need to be revised, so we can spend the day together, if you like”
“Ok thanks” he said
They were well into their second drink when Holly asked
“So what exactly is the deal with you and Christmas?”
“Do we have to go there” he asked
“Yes we do” she said “I’ve been watching you this week and every time someone wishes you a happy Christmas you react as if you’ve been stabbed”
“Well I wouldn’t go that far” Steve responded
“I would” she said but he just shrugged
“Come on Steve” she insisted “You are such an infuriating man, cough it up”
“Can’t you just leave it alone?” he said
“You can’t tell me you haven’t enjoyed this week” she said “or that you would have preferred to be locked away in your flat pretending that that Christmas was just a bad dream”
Steve drained his glass and went through the hatch and pulled himself another one.
“I don’t want to go into all the details, suffice is to say that for me There was no happy little boy waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve” he said painfully
“My childhood was unbearable and Christmas was even more so”
Holly didn’t speak but sat with head sympathetically inclined
“Not everyone is raised by Mary Poppins” he said factiously
“That’s not very fare” Holly said hurtfully
“I suppose you think my Christmases were happy?”
Steve merely snorted
“I had a lousy Christmases as a child, my parents didn’t believe in it so we didn’t celebrate it,” she said forcefully
But Steve looked unconvinced
“My parents are hippies” She stated “Christmases for me were spent in a VW Camper van on Salisbury plain, don’t get me wrong, I love my parents and for me at the time it seemed perfectly normal and I was perfectly happy”
Holly paused
“And I would get a present, though it was never wrapped in Christmas paper, there was no Christmas trees, No baubles or tinsel, No garlands or colored lights, in my childhood Christmas just didn’t exist”
“So now you’re over compensating” Steve said and took another drink.
“Not at all I decided that feeling sorry for myself was not an option, and
I refused to be dictated to by the past” she said “I decided I would make new memories and stop looking back”
“I was 17 when I first experience a proper Christmas, and I thought it was wonderful, magical and I’ve made sure I’ve enjoyed everyone since”
“There is no similarity between our childhoods” he said
“Your childhood was happy it just didn’t include Christmas,
Mine was desperately unhappy”
“And you blame Christmas for it” Holly said “I know for your life was different, but I want to squeeze the most joy I can from every moment”
Steve just looked at her as she took a brief pause
“Just as you should” She said and put her hand on his knee
At that moment the doors opened and a new group of punters came through the door.
He stood behind the bar drying glasses as he watched Holly as she chatted to the clientele in turn.
He liked it as she walked from table to table, she had a gait that was easy on the eye and the way the flared skirt moved across her legs was quite sensual.
Then one by one the meagre band of customers disappeared into the snowy night.
It was midnight and as the last customer left for the night, Holly wished them a happy Christmas and locked the front doors.
As she slipped the last bolt across and drew the curtain.
Steve appeared behind her just as the church bells chimed.
Holly turned and faced him
“Merry Christmas Holly” he said and kissed her
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